He gets booed, and people don't like him. He's over. Sorry, internet. And this isn't even a pro-Orton thing, it's an "I watch SmackDown weekly" thing. He's not Shawn Michaels in Canada, he's not Triple H in 2000, but he's doing just fine as a heel and I'm tired of listening to the masses on this forum talk about how he doesn't have any heat when that's clearly not true. But, whatever, apparently Finlay's a good worker now too, so I must have missed something.
I hate the internet.
- Hoff
I gotta dust the dirt off my shoulder...
*brush*
So I was reading through some of the better blogs around here (not gonna name names) and I decided I wanted to try this again. However, there's only so many times I can write about why I like Randy Orton or how great the history of the Intercontinental Championship is. So, I'm gonna try this in a more conventional manner. And if it takes, it takes. Hopefully I'm a pretty interesting guy. If it fails, then all I'm out is a little time. Who could ask for a sweeter deal?
All right, so, the first entry of the new blog era. If you read it all the way through, I promise you a noteworthy surprise. DON'T YOU DARE SCROLL DOWN...
So, today was pretty awesome. Worked a short day, and the weather was fantastic -- 72 and sunny, with a nice breeze. I immediately came home, changed into shorts, and partook of some Asian delicacies with the roommates. A good time was had by all. Did some spring cleaning when I got home, including busting out my tennis racket. I don't know where my balls are (ha), but I can procure some rather easily (double ha). Looking forward to it.
This weekend was great. I drove out to Wisconsin Rapids and saw my dad, who is going to become a priest. Starting in August, the old man (58!) is going to seminary in Boston for FOUR YEARS to become an ordained Catholic priest. It's been a wild experience for the whole family, just sharing it with him, and I'm thrilled for him, even if it's not my scene. He's...you wouldn't say he's born again, but he fell off the path, so to speak, and now he's found it again and you know, it works for him, so great, right? Right. So, anyway, I need to see him as much as possible before the move to Boston. Massachusettes is a much farther drive than Wisconsin.
This weekend should ALSO kick ass...hell, the whole week. Twins game on WEDNESDAY with my best friend, new computer arrives on Thursday, and old friends come into town for Easter weekend. Hopefully I'll be wiast-deep in liquor by Friday night.
Weather should hold, since I know you all care. A little rain off and on, high 60s and 70s all week. I'm gonna TRY to get a tennis match in next weekend. Wish me luck!
A brief wrestling thought, as I watch RAW: Trish Stratus just came out dressed as Mickie and it was HILARIOUS. I'm glad they found something else to do with these two. It makes the show that much better.
Okay, I'm done for now. More soon. Oh, and the big surprise.
Brace yourselves.
Some of you will love this, some will think me a fool. But I'm retiring the account, so no need to keep the secret.
I, Mr. Hoff, yours truly....I was Heel Turn.
Have a good night!
I don't mean boobs, ALTHOUGH, never let it be said that I'm one to disparage boobs.
First game I attended this season is said and done and America's Team was VICTORIOUS! The small-ballers outhit the vile Oakland Athletics to take the game 6-5. Of vastly greater importance is that it was dollar-a-dog night. I had three such hot dogs, slathered all to hell in mustard, and I was a happy little (big) man. I also got a souvenir cup, inching closer to my goal of having the entirety of my beverage containers be Twins cups. I think I netted 5 last year, off of seven games. Hoping to improve on both counts. Going a week from tonight to see the Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim, which, for those keeping score at home, is Spanish for "the the Angels Angels of Anaheim." Nice, huh? But it should be good. If the rotation holds, we're due for Kyle Lohse, which should make things "interesting." "Interesting" is NOT how I like my Twins games, but c'est la vie.
The most impressive thing about tonight was watching Joe Nathan pitch. Now, I've seen it more than a few times before, and he usually gets it done. But it's still an experience. He's just unflappable; the Metrodome is fucking LOUD, with everyone on their feet and cheering, and he just ICES fools like his name was Frosty. He didn't hit the 98 miles per hour he did last night, but it was good enough for save #2 and a happy drive home.
Not much else to report, save that apparently Best Buy employees save 20% with Cingular, and there's a health club through work I might join for $20/month. I hear it's a pretty big facility, so we'll see. I'm pretty athletic for a fat guy, but I could definitely stand to shed some weight, as well as define the upper body a little. So.
May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce.
-Hoff
Welcome, all my friends, to the show that never ends. Uh, yeah. I read through a few of the blogs, and thought it might be kind of cool to start my own, plus I'm bored. I'm seriously going to try to update it every day, which I think will lead to more discussion. You know, a lot of little posts with one thought, as opposed to a few big posts with many thoughts. I guess we'll see.
I hope everyone had a happy (and safe) New Year's Eve, and may 2006 treat you well.
-Hoff
I finally thought of a good topic for my blog! Based off of the following thread:
MOTY 2006
In said thread, a discussion has emerged as to the merits of one Rey Mysterio, and when he had his last ***** match, if any. Now, we as an internet community take for granted that Rey is a good worker, but I've found that often times, we base these opinions on past memories without looking at the situation analytically. For instance, I'll admit to being a huge fan of Chris Jericho, but toward the end of his WWE run, I went back and looked at a lot of his matches, and much of the stuff in 2003 and 2004 seemed sloppy at times, as well as generally uninspired. I'll never stop being a fan and it takes nothing away from all the great things he's done, but looking at it this way made me reconsider where I place Y2J on my "favorite wrestlers of all time" list (#7, BTW).
So, with all of that long-windedness in mind, I have three questions for you all.
1. What do you consider to be Rey Mysterio's best match?
2. They're often harder to remember, but what do you consider to be Rey Mysterio's worst match?
3. Having hopefully called to mind much of Rey's body of work, has your opinion of him changed? Do you find him any less entertaining?
Hopefully this'll spark some discussion. I'll weigh in this weekend with my own thoughts. Until then, take it easy, kids.
-Hoff
Ah, to be young again.
In my teens, and into my twenties, I was a Monday night fanatic. I was a religious zealot, and my god was two hours of main-event caliber wrestling action. I was an addict, and my drug of choice was Monday Night Raw. I didn't just want to see it -- I *needed* to see it. I would do anything to get home by 8:00. If I was with friends, I left the group behind. If I was with family, I whined until I got my way. And if I was alone, I got my ass home with plenty of time to spare. You see, Monday Night Raw was a way of life. It was the hottest show on television, and it stayed hot because it was good. The show kept its viewers hooked from start to finish with fast action, high drama, and slapstick comedy. It was the ultimate variety show, and it was true must-see television.
I'm not a young man anymore. I'm in my mid-twenties. I hold a full-time job, I pay bills, and I foot my own room and board. I've truly grown up. Not to say that I don't have a lot of growing to do, but the fact is that the things that enamored me as a child may not elicit the same responses these days. And, as much as I'd love for my schedule to revolve around the TV listings, I simply don't have that ability. However...
Recently, my personal schedule has changed, allowing me the chance to watch Raw every week. After a long absence from regular viewership, this has become a big deal for me. I make the effort to be home in time. However, the recent shows have left me wondering why I should care. There have been some bright spots -- mainly involving Edge, in my opinion -- but the majority of the show, I have found lackluster and uninteresting. However...I'm not a young man anymore.
I'm asking for opionions. I want to hear from the 18 and under crowd. Are you feeling it? Is Raw really holding you for two hours? D-X and Head were kind of juvenile concepts, but as a teenager they had me hooked. Are the youth of today hooked in the same manner? Are Eugene and Mama Benjamin making the kids bust a gut? Or is the show really as bad as we adults seem to believe? Part of me wants to believe that I've just grown up and grown old, but I have a feeling that it's not me that's out of touch -- it's the WWE. But there's only one way to know for sure.
Here's hoping that the fans of tomorrow aren't losing interest today.
-Hoff
Who will be the new head coach for the Minnesota Vikings?
Steve Marriuci....?
The three of you reading this blog, offer thoughts. I'm way too tired to post anything else today.
-Hoff
So, I'm reading the fantasy football newsbreakers, and it seems Brad Johnson told ESPN that he wants to be a starting quarterback this year. Apparently, though, there's a problem, because Johnson signed a four-year deal with the Vikings last year.
Am I the only one not seeing the problem here? The Vikings have him, he wants to start. He played very well for the Vikings.
Am I the only one who starts BJ over Daunte in 2006?
-Hoff
The Money in the Bank match is dead.
Everywhere I go, I see people speculating "who's gonna be in MITB 2?" The "Save Wrestlemania" thread here at TSM is full of people speculating over our next six contenders. The sentiments range from Money in the Bank being a "good idea" to "something that worked" to "a new Wrestlemania tradition." And yes, last year's match was memorable and special. And the stipulation attached resulted in a change that shook the WWE to its core. Money in the Bank was a real winner. It WAS a real winner.
For those unfamiliar, the Money in the Bank match is a multi-person (six, last year) ladder match. The object of desire in this contest is not a title belt, but a briefcase, in which is contained a guaranteed contract for a World Heavyweight or WWE title match. The winner of this opportunity can "cash it in" at any time between the match and one year thereafter. This was used in the smartest way possible this year, as Edge challenged John Cena after his victory in the Elimination Chamber, a match sold as being even more exhausting than Hell in the Cell. Edge made good on his shot, and a new champion was crowned.
Now, here's the problem. Say the WWE runs another Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania 22 (Big Time!). The winner, then, barring any unusual circumstances, would be a fool NOT to use it after the Elimination Chamber match at New Years' Revolution, assuming they continue that new tradition. So the intrigue of "when" is effectively gone. From there, you have two possible outcomes. Either this person wins the WWE Championship, which sets a precedent of MITB = Champion, or you have the person lose the match, burying them deeper than Paul Bearer in a tank full of cement.
The reason Money in the Bank worked is because it was new. Nobody knew what to expect. Nobody was thinking "hey, there's an Elimination Chamber match in January, I'll bet he uses his shot then!" And NOBODY knew he would win the WWE Championship. We all speculated, but nobody knew. Now, we know how it works. We know what the winner of the guaranteed title shot should do. And that takes away the intrigue. What made the WWF great in the "Attitude" era was unpredictability. Anything could happen on any given day. If they do MITB again, it's a given how it will work, and if they deviate from that template, the booking makes very little sense, because, why wouldn't someone do what Edge did? They'd be a fool. And so they'd be booked into a corner.
It was memorable, but part of what made is special was that it will never be duplicated. The WWE would be wise to think things through very carefully, because they have a history of running things into the ground. This is one of the many times that they need to be content with what they've done, sit down, and try to think of something new. Otherwise, the people will get bored, and bored people turn off the TV. Or, worse, turn to TNA Impact...
Go Monty Brown!
-Hoff
So, wrestling. I've been a fan for nigh on twenty years. Most of us here at TSM are in a similar boat. And, in twenty years, I've seen a lot of weird stuff go down. Giant, dancing chickens. A haf-black Roddy Piper. The Boogeyman. WTF? But, through it all, the WWF, WCW, ECW, AWA, NWA, TNA, and NAACP have found ways to stay fresh and entertaining. Last Saturday, however, I was really wondering if the WWE had what it took anymore.
What a difference a week makes.
Say what you will about Adam Copeland and Kurt Angle, but in the past six days the foundations of the WWE have been rocked. Last Saturday we had two champions who had reigned for over nine months. Two men who hadn't changed a bit in that time. Two men who were seen as unbeatable, unstoppable. As of today, one has been beaten, and one has been stopped. John Cena and Dave Batista no longer hold gold, and in their places are two big surprises.
Edge has been in the WWE since the summer of 1998. He came in with a lot of hype and a lot of expectations, and it's a matter of some debate as to how well he had fulfilled them. He's been a fifty-time tag champ, as well as a singles star on the cusp of greatness. Through the years, he has battled injury, and come back time and time again, but he has never been on top of the mountain. That all changed at this Sunday's New Year's Revolution show, where -- surprisingly -- the WWE followed a long-term angle to its logical conclusion. Edge cashed in his guaranteed, "money-in-the-bank" title shot following what is, undisputedly, the most grueling match in the WWE, and won the WWE Championship in controversial fashion. Since then, more fans have tuned into Raw, and the entire internet community is abuzz. People are talking.
Meanwhile, Smackdown gets a blessing in disguise. Batista was doing a great job as champion, by all accounts; he was a solid draw and a recognizable icon. Yet the status quo seemed firmly in place, and unshakeable until Wrestlemania. Suddenly, a torn tricep muscle shakes the title from the Animal, and into the capable hands of Kurt Angle. It may not make sense to see one of Raw's top guys on Smackdown, but the WWE showed amazing perception by letting Angle play babyface against the mostrous Mark Henry, climaxing in a shocking World Heavyweight Championship win for the veteran. And on the internet, the people have been talking.
However, the internet can talk itself blue, and it really doesn't matter a great deal. What matters is the feeling. I don't know about anyone else, but to me, this is the closest we've been to the Attitude Era since, well, the Attitude Era. The most important factor in that feeling? It's the old slogan: anything can happen in the WWE. In the glory days of Austin, Rocky, Hunter and Foley, we knew that a title could change hands at a moment's notice; a major star could be born or be destroyed; the course of events could change at the blink of an eye. Vince Russo called it "crash TV," but it's more than that. It's not chaos; it's controlled chaos. WCW learned this lesson the hard way, but the WWE seems to be getting it before it's too late.
The common thread of this past week is that everything has made sense. Cena's character has acknowledged the boos. Of course he would! Edge used his title shot at the single most opportune time. Kurt Angle went to where the getting was good. JBL defended his territory. Okay, so we still have Mama Benjamin, and the Boogeyman. But at the top level, the guys you talk about at the water cooler, things are captivating again. It's only a week, but as they say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The next few months, specifically the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania, will be make or break. But if they do things right, and stay intriguing without going insane, it could become a very, very good time to be a wrestling fan.
Hope springs eternal.
-Hoff
This is gonna be one lazy entry. I'm gonna list who, in wrestling, I'm into right now. Hopefully, some of the choices will spark discussion.
I'M FEELIN':
WWE
RAW
Shawn Michaels
Edge
Trish Stratus
Big Vis
Shelton Benjamin
SmackDown
Kurt Angle
Chris Benoit
Randy Orton
Booker T (heal please!)
Funaki...because, really, he IS SmackDown's #1 announcer.
TNA
Christian Cage
Monty Brown
Christopher Daniels
AMW
Jackie Gayda (delicious!)
Now, I'm NOT feelin'...
Gregory Helms -- it's like Christian from the trailer park. PASS
The Boogeyman -- what is TSM's deal with this guy? He sucks and his gimmick is just messed up. But moreover, he's not really a deep character to build around.
MNM -- man, it's not their fault, since there IS no tag division, but they got really stale, really quick.
Rey Mysterio -- yeah I said it. He's just been so vanilla. He wasn't even convincing in the Dominic feud. I know people liked it, but I didn't. He can still go, but, it's like, I just expect more from a guy on the cusp of main eventing. I dunno.
Vince McMahon -- GO AWAY. (Stephie is still hot, STFU haters)
Aries/Shelly/Strong -- The name GenerationNext, if they use it, will be ironic as we've already seen this. Also, they're good wrestlers, but being typical whiny heels is doing nothing for them. Now, if they get some time on the stick, things may change.
Gail Kim -- this is primarily because she's Asian and I don't find AZN women attractive. Sorry Asia! Also, she enabled JJ and AMW to get cheap wins every single time.
Hopefully someone will leap in to defend the TNA stable and/or Rey, and we can get some talk going. Until then...
-Hoff
It does, and in no way is that fact better exemplified than with this filler entry.
*Scott Hall mode ON*
SURVEY TIME!!
*passes out*
Full Name: Ryan Hoffman
Nickname: Hoff, Ryguy, "Raymond"
Birthday: 1/2/82
Hometown: Bloomington, MN
Current Location: Burnsville, MN (see what I did there?)
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: DARK Brown. Been mistaken for black before.
Height: 6'5. THAT IS MY STORY AND I AM STICKING TO IT. I am *certainly* not 6'4 and 1/4.
Astrological Sign: Capricorn. Apparently I'm a very typical Capricorn, too.
Birthplace: Edina, MN
Do you get motion sickness: Occasionally.
Can you play any instruments: Guitar, both acoustic and electric, which is really more a stylistic choice. But, people are stupid, and tend to differentiate for no reason. Once upon a time, I played viola, and fairly well.
Righty/Lefty? R
Do you like to sing? Almost more than anything else.
Do you like to dance? Yes
Have any piercings? No
Any tattoos? No, but I have a few I've thought about.
Weirdest dream you've ever had: Impossible to choose. I remember almost all of my dreams, and they vary from the mundane to the absurd.
Biggest turn-off: Airheads. And flat chests. WHAT
Sweetest friend: SWEETEST?! Mike Kosa, in a walk.
Wildest friend: Honor goes to Toby Wilson, although NYU will claim it's him.
How many best friends do you have: Several. I get close real easy, and I run with a good crowd. There's ONE likely above all the others, though. He, regrettably, knows who he is.
What are their names: Adam, Mike, Mike, Toby, Pooch, Dave, Dan, Josiah, Dan
Have a crush: Not right now, no.
Favorite color: Black
Favorite girl name: Katie
Favorite boy name: Christopher
Want to get married someday: Absolutely.
How many kids do you want to have? This has recently dropped to one. I was an only child, and from talking to others, the pluses outweigh the minuses. Also, Earth be CROWDED like a motha.
How do you want to die: HAVING SEX WITH DAWN MARIE. If not that, in battle with a Klingon warrior. If not THAT...in my sleep. Or never, if possible.
Have you ever had any broken bones or stitches: Broke both bones in my lower left leg several years ago.
Most embarassing moment: Ha ha...
So I was very much in love with this girl, which was bad news as she was with someone else, which was all the worse as I helped get them together. So one night in front of everyone, she asks me "how are you?" I thought she said "I love you." I...MAY have said it back. It was bad news.
How many people have you kissed: SIX THOUSAND. 5? A little more plausible? Cindy, Sara, Lisa, and two college coeds whose names escape me at present.
How many CDs do you have: 20ish
Have you ever committed a crime: I'd LOVE to say no. Shoplifting? When I was younger? I'm sorry. Oh, and internet piracy.
Have you ever been in a fight: I've hit and been hit, but I'd never say a fight, no.
If you could be any character from literature or film, who would you be: Sandy Cohen. Not so muych now as someday.
If you could be any animal, what would you be: Fuckin', a dragon, man.
If you could have one super power, what would it be: Shapeshifting. Yeah, bitches. How'd you like to meet Scarlett Johannsen? WHOOPS IT'S HOFF
If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
1. The halting of all world conflicts.
2. A global economy and society that could handle such a radical change in the world.
3. SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY
What is the last book you read: Did you enjoy it? George R.R. Martin's A Feast of Crows, and oh, fuck yes.
What is the last movie you saw: Did you enjoy it? V for Vendetta, and yes. Or, to be fair, Sin City's "Mega Tits," which would also be a yes.
Do you collect anything: Not really. I used to collect WWE action figures. I've been reading comics, but not really collecting yet.
What is your favorite restaurant: If I didn't say Perkins, it'd be a damn lie.
Do you have any scars: Nope.
Have you ever been to the hospital: When my leg broke. There was a 2/3 chance they'd need to put in pins. PERMANENTLY. Dodged that bullet.
Have you ever stayed up all night: Yeah, for the best possible reason: DVD marathons. Mostly NewsRadio and Star Trek shows.
Do you cook anything well: Eggs. ...I make okay pasta, too. Not from scratch, though.
What is your favorite game: President! w00t~
Where do you want to go to college: If I went BACK, it'd be the U of Minnesota.
What are you doing this weekend: WORKING Saturday, hanging out with the guy after that.
What are you wearing right now: Boxer briefs.
When was the last time you went shopping: Yesterday, although I was more there with my roommate while he shopped. I did buy something, though.
Single or group dates: Single, preferably.
Where would you most like to visit: Seattle.
The Simpsons or Family Guy: Family Guy
What is your favorite dog breed: Pug
First thought waking up? It is TOO EARLY!
Last thought going to bed? Sex, usually.
Motto to live by: Enjoy life.
So, this "new year" the kids are talking about isn't looking so hot. Yesterday, I wake up with a bad cold. Today, I kept the cold, and I added a dream -- which could be labeled as a nightmare -- about an old flame. Actually, it was a pretty great dream, which -- not like that, you pervs. But it was a really nice dream, and waking up pretty much sucked. So thus far, 2006 is 0 for 2. ZERO FOR TWO THOUSAND SIX LOL!
Birthdays generally kick ass though, and this should be no exception. Free meals, free bowling, and a designated driver all set up. I could do far worse. Still, hopefully everyone else's birthdays will start off better than mine.
Sweet dreams.
-Hoff
So, the third day of 2006 hasn't started well either. I'm back at work and hungover as shit. I was also asked to come in on Friday. There's nothing I love more than one-day weekends. Still, my 2006 can't be going nearly as bad as Shelton Benjamin's. Seriously, who did this guy piss off? After being buried with loss after loss after loss, now he gets the wonderful character addition of his "mama." This is really making the guy look like a threat, let me tell you. I'm holding onto a faint ray of hope that Mama somehow tastes the RKO, but more than likely, we'll see Shelton vs. Kanyon in a "Mama Benjamin on a Pole" match. Of course, that would get Kanyon on my screen again...hmm....
I did have a kickass birthday, complete with two free meals, $100, free drinks, free movie, tons of drunk bowling, and a birthday sundae. I guess the moral is that every cloud has a silver lining.
Still, here's hoping that January 4th is where 2006 turns it around.
-Hoff
Subject-verb agreement is for the faint of heart.
January 4th, outside of being boring, has pretty much left me alone, which is fine by me. I got a surprise birthday dinner last night at 11 PM, and so I didn't get to bed as early as I had hoped. Tonight, if all goes well, I'll get my laundry done and turn in early. How sad of a plan is that?
You know what else is sad? This blog. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to try and get more participation going. I don't know how; maybe I'll fail miserably. But I know some people have seen this, so it's got a shot. We gotta hold on, to what we got, it doesn't really matter if we make it or not, we've got each other, and that's a lot for love....we'll give it a shot!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD ON, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!! LIII-VIN' ON A PRAYER!!
TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!! LIII-VIN' ON A PRAYER!!
Bon Jovi rocks.
-Hoff
