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About this blog
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.
Entries in this blog
I can explain my absence
I Wish Somebody would turn this into a movie
30 Days of Night, and more
More future updates, explanations
Best stories in Music begins with #12 & #11
#10 & # 9
Believe it or not, the first industrial group was not NiN or KMFDM or Ministry or any of those groups. It was Throbbing Gristle, who from 1975-81, made an abrasive noise that would shape what would come, as well as shocking more than a few people.
The groups first gig, featured all of their trademarks-ear-raping tape and synth noises, abrasive guitar playing, over the top shock-value lyrics, and other such things. Instead of playing in a club like most punk and proto punk bands, the groups first gig was at an art gallery, and was an "exhibit" called Prostitute. Among the music, it also had photos from a pornographic magazine that member Cosey Fanni Tutti posed for, as well as Nazi and concentration camp photos, soiled diapers, mutilation, and front man Genesis P-Orridge mounting a pile of used tampons.
The press was shocked (of course), referred to the band as "sick people" and "wreckers of civilization". The band released three studio albums, then broke up in 1981. Genesis formed Psychic TV (and is now a transexual), Cosey and husband (and fellow band member) Chris Carter formed Chris and Cosey (who went on to be a huge influence on everything from synth pop to Industrial Dance Music to Detroit Techno), and Peter Christopherson briefly was a member of Psychic TV, until he and John Balance left and formed Coil.
The band have reunited, but nothing they do today will be the equal of their past.
09.) Elvis orders a Sandwich.
Elvis in 1976 was not a pretty sight, as he had become a fat, bloated parody of himself. On February night, he and some pals got in a discussion about one of The King's favorite sandwiches-The Fool's Gold Leaf. The sandwich consists of a single loaf of hollowed out, warmed bread, one jar of peanut butter, one jar of jelly, and a pound of bacon. The result is slathered with butter and then baked. That sure does sound healthy, don't it?
Thing is, the sandwich is only made in Denver, Colorado. Elvis wanthed one though, so he and co. went to Colorado Mine Company, which was the only restaurant that served it. Thing is, they flew in a jet from Memphis to Denver so Elvis and pals could have the sandwich. Elvis bought 22 loaves for the guys, and invited the pilots of the plane to join them.
Kevin Dubrow is dead
This is why we can't have nice things
Douchebag: Horrible in every way imaginable. An idiot who missed the point of the movie "Shoot 'Em Up" (it was supposed to be stupid, you simpleton), bragged about potentially ruining somebody's life (in what may be one of the worst moments in TSM history), makes horrible attempts at humor, and yet isn't called out for being an idiot in the WWE folder (which already has it's share of simpletons.)
Carlito Brigante: In spite of what some may say, he isn't the worst poster on TSM at the moment (Douchebag is), but he is the stupidest. He thinks I take the folder too seriously, threatened to beat people up in the MMA folder (he says it was a joke, and if it was, it was a stupid joke), once called Black Lushus an "Uncle Tom", claims I'm "all on his jock" (when you act like an idiot, you are going to be treated like one or called out), and now apparently impregnated a girl, but is too dumb to get a test to see if it really is his.
razazteca: Speaking of horrible attempts at humor, here's the king. He's made at least 30,000 posts, and hardly any of them are any good. Even some at the WWE folder don't like him.
VanHalen: He should be called VanCherone, because that was the worst part of Van Halen's career. From taking other peoples avatars, to being an annoying prick, to his pointless threads, he's a waste of space.
Marvinisalunatic: A man who orgasmically goes on about HD TV, constantly goes "Jericho looks gay in that LOL!!!", makes bad posts in the Sports folder, "WWE", and looks like a mishappen mutant from "The Hills Have Eyes"
C-Bacon: Is essentially a socialist weasel who approves Anarcho-Socialism, has no idea how kids should be taken care of, thinks everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about America is the result of imperialism, tends to invoke fascism, sucks Chomsky's cock, thinks kids should be allowed to do whatever they want, and is generally clueless. Thank God i have him on ignore.
gary floyd: I hate that faggot.
#8-7
A lot of artists are accused of sounding the same. That out of the way, none of them have been sued, except for a 1994 case in which John Fogerty was sued. He was sued because his song "Old Man Down the Road" sounded a lot like the Creedence Clearwater Revival song "Run Through the Jungle." In other words, John was sued for sounding like well, himself.
7.) Cynthia teh cock
We all want to remember our rock idols-some in interesting ways. For Cynthia Albritton, it was making plaster molds of her rock idols cocks. She's done cock-models of Kiss (Who wrote a song about her), Pop Will Eat Itself, Hendrix (her favorite), Jello Biafra, and more. That my friends, is dedication. Her work has even been featured in art exhibits.
Christmas Albums
See No Evil: A Review
2007 Music Review
The Final 2007 Year in Review
I made it to round two! and other musings
#6-5
The story behind Dopesmoker-which may be the ultimate stoner album-is a fascinating one, or at least I think so.
Sleep were a Doom/Stoner Metal band, who's previous album Sleep's Holy Mountain had become highly acclaimed in the underground, and for good reason too-it was a logical, nearly flawless continuation of Black Sabbath's stoned groove that many had tried, but only some had succeeded. London Records, seeing something big, signed Sleep, though the album itself-obviously the result of constant pot smoking-wasn't what they wanted. It was called Dopesmoker, an album that took two years to complete, and was a one hour long, slow, and heavy as fuck song-a concept album about a group of Holy Men who decide to get really fucking baked.
London Records weren't happy with the end result, so Sleep tried to rework it as a six part, 52 minute album titled Jerusalem. The label was still unhappy, and dropped the band, who then broke up. Interestingly enough, two of the band members smoked so much pot, that they became born again Christians.
Interestingly enough, Jerusalem was relased in 1999, and the original album Dopesmoker finally saw the light of day in 2003 thanks to an indie label. Oh, and yes, it really does live up to the hype.
5.) Ozzy Satisfies His Hunger
It's 1980. Ozzy has signed a deal with a new label, and he really needs a comeback. One night, he and his wife Sharon are at a meeting with record execs, he has a plan to release some doves to wow them. Well, this plan isn't going the way he hoped, so he has a change of plans.
He takes a dove, and bites it's head off in front of the execs.
Unsurprisingly, the execs are none too pleased at this, and have security escort him. None the less, it was the start od his solo infamy, and his career later took off. Maybe it turned out to be good luck.
#4-3
Fun fact-Ozzy is the only musician to be mentioned on this list twice. Here's the story, though I'm pretty sure you know it by now: It's 1982, and Ozzy's comeback is now in full effect. Anyways, while on tour, one night, he gets really drunk (big surprise, I know), and puts on one of his wife's dresses. He then stumbles outside, towards the Alamo, and takes a leak on it. Yep, he pees on the Alamo. Oh, and yes, he was arrested.
3.) Mingus Destroys his Bass
Charles Mingus was one of the most gifted jazz musicians of all time. Czech is a huge fan of his. He was also a manic depressive, who was prone to doing all kinds of shit in concerts. One night, people were talking too much during one of his concerts, something Mingus didn't particularly like. So, in a fit of rage, he picks up his bass (which was an upright acoustic bass) and smashed it to bits.
Yep, before The Who destroyed their guitar on The Smothers Brothers, before Hendrix set his guitar on fire, there was Mingus obliterating his bass. He's the one who started it all.
Can they please cancel Family Guy already?
Name Change; #02
#01
Everyone knows this story. It may be the greatest example of rock star debauchery that ever occured. Oh sure, some of you may mention something that occured at a Motley Cru tour or whatever, but here's the guy's that set the standard.
The story: It's 1969. Led Zeppelin are on tour with Vanilla fudge. On the night of July 27, Zep invites a groupie back stage, and well, she's willing to do anything. So they tie her up, and proceed to stuff bits and slices of a mudshark into her pussy and asshole. Other's say it was a Red Snapper. Either way, they stuffed her with fish.
There are several accounts as to what really happened. Zappa did a song about it (that can be heard on the live album Filmore East-June 1971.) To this day, it remains one of the most talked about moments in rock star perversion. Either way, in my opinion, it's the greatest story in music history.
So there you go, the countdown is over. Here's a recap:
12.) Luther Campbell gets a blowjob on Stage.
11.) Screamin' Jay Hawkins: Father to 57 Children.
10) Throbbing Gristle's First Gig.
9.) Elvis orders a Sandwich.
8.) John Fogerty sued for self plagerisim (no, not the poster).
7.) Cyntheia teh cock.
6.) The Story of Dopesmoker.
5.) Ozzy Satisfies His Hunger.
4.) Ozzy Remembers the Alamo.
3.) Mingus Destroy's his Bass.
2.) The Story of Mayhem.
1.) Led Zeppelin,a groupie, and a mudshark.
What the Fuck Internet?
Heavy Metal
Sparks fly in the dead of the night
It all comes together
When they shoot out the lights
50,000 watts of power
And it's pushin' overload
The beast is ready to devour
All the metal they can hold
Reachin' overload
Start to explode
Chorus:
It's your one way ticket to midnight
Call it Heavy Metal
Higher than high, feelin' just right
Call it Heavy Metal
Desperation on a red line
Call it Heavy Metal noise
Tight pants and lipstick
She's riding on razor's edge
She holds her own against the boys
Yea, cuts through the crowd just like a wedge
Ohh, can you feel the static
So many contacts being made
We've got up front fanatics
Tearing down the barricade
To reach the stage
Can you feel the rage
[Chorus]
Pay Your Respects to the Vultures, For They are Your Future
Ch-ch-changes
Marney is fucking Insane
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