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About this blog

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Entries in this blog

 

So much for small things...

-After watching Saturday Night's Main Event, I no longer care too much about Vince has a kid anymore. Yep, what was once corny but enoyable has now grown old fast. So much for small things...   -SuperBad is fucking awesome. Really, I haven't laughed that hard in ages. The funniest movie of the year so far, beating out Knocked Up.   I also saw Hot Rod on a Sunday Matinee, but wasn't too impressed. Sorry folks, it really didn't amuse me too much. If anything, it annoyed me.   I skipped The Invasion, since it's gotten some pretty bad word of mouth, and didn't look all that good.   -Dwarf glued penis to Hoover. I love the internet.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Smoking Aces, Iran hates Porn, Music of 2007 so far

-I watched "Smoking Aces" last night. Here's another movie that runs out of steam in the last third or so, complete with a dreadful plot twist. Still, I think it's worth checking out at least one. Alicia Keyes is in it (and absoulutely smoking hot), as are the funniest pair of Neo -Nazi brothers ever, Jason Bateman (I did not need to see him in bra and panties) and a hyperactive kid on ritalin who does kung fu and pops a major boner.   -Iran hates porn apparently, and is hanging those who are pornstars. Come on, at least have respect for the Pornstars. The fact that they do what they do is an impressive mix of bravery and lack of self confidence.   I knew a guy back in High School who wanted to be a pornstar. I wonder if he ever realized that many male pornstars have to start out by doing gay porn...   -Oh, we're nearing the middle of 2007, and there's been some good, and some bad, and some so-so in the music front. Here's the general thoughts on it:   Good and great:   LCD Soundsystem-Sound of Silver Grinderman-Grinderman Boris & Michio Kurihara-Rainbow !!!-Myth Takes Jesu-Conqueror Motor-Unhuman Redman-Red Gone Wild: Thee Album Merzbow-Coma Berenices Nine Inch Nails-Year Zero (Never liked them, but this is a great album)   So-so:   Air-Pocket Symphony Queens of the Stone Age-Era Vulgaris (great album title though) Sister Vanilla-Little Pop Rock Throbbing Gristle-Part Two - The Endless Not (Apparently, the first and original industrial band should have stayed away from each other. A real disappointment, though there's some good moments) Explosions in the Sky-All the Sudden I Miss Everyone Bjork-Volta   The Bad:   Timbaland-Timbaland Presents Shock Therapy (Worst album of 2007 so far) The Bravery-The Sun and the Moon Adult-Why Bother? (Why bother indeed) Dntel-Dumb Luck Mika-Life in Cartoon Motion Marilyn Manson-Eat Me, Drink Me (Granted, he always sucked, but now it's just embarrising. At least it's not as bad as Golden Age of Grotesque.) Satellite Party-Satellite Party (Perry, it's time to just stop.) The new Chris Cornell album

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Smegma

Hello TSM. How are you? Are you comfortable? May I offer you a beverage?   Anyways, things are alright. Classes are alright (I'm taling a class on Satire, which seems like it's going to be great) and it's snowing. Actually, it's jst snow on the ground at the moment. Anywho, it's been largely uneventful lately. Ortonsault hates me (fine, I'll shut up about Leena), and I'm about to lose to 909 in the Best poster tournament round 1 (at least I'm up against a good poster.)   Oh well.   I have class a feature story writing class at 8:30 in the morning now, so I'm pretty tired just about all the time at the moment. I have a roomate too now, though I lucked out this time, as he's a good guy (and a fellow H.P. Lovecraft fan)-oh, and he works part time as an Indy Wrestler. This is the second guy I've known who works part time for Indy promotions.   And that's what's up with my world. Hope you're happy TSM.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Slightly Eventful Sunday,29-27

-Well, I went to Big Boy's for Breakfast yesterday (what can I say, their breakfast bar rules, and Bob Evans was crowded) and saw something that I've never seen before, or at least in person: a female Insane Clown Posse fan who wasn't ugly or fat. Well, her face was so-so, but she had a pretty good body, and a nice ass. Who knew such a thing existed.   Afterwards, I stopped at Best Buy to get Venture Bros. Season 2 on DVD (it's great, though the commentary tracks are so-so), then went to Meijer to get some food. I also started reading Jack Ketchum's "The Lost", and it's been great so far. The guy's one of my favorite horror authors, and everyone should read him.   Now, back to the countdown.   29.) Death in June-All Pigs Must Die Hey, it's Death in June, doing the whole neo-folk with fascist overtones thing-again. Only this time it's uninteresting, and shows the eventual musical mediocrity that's unfortunately plagued them since. It also drags on too long, and while he at least tried something a bit different, it's attempts at dirge-like atmosphere and eeriness falls right on it's face.   28.) Prince-The Rainbow Children I love Prinve. Who doesn't love Prince. That out of the way, there's no denying that he's cut some bad albums, and while there has been debate over what his worst album is, I'd say it's this one. Here, Prince lets the world know he's a Jehovas Witness (at least he did go door to door over it), and records an album made up of really bad attempts at sounding like James Brown, Sly Stone, and other such greats. It also has some of the worst lyrics he's ever written.   27.) Kiss-Music for the Elder One of the worst (and most puzzling) concept albums ever recorded (ELP's Tarkus, while a shitty album, gets a pass for having such an odd but awesome concept), Music for the Elder pissed off whatever remaining Kiss fans existed at the time, with it's shitty attempts at Prog Rock, and was the final straw for Ace Frehley, who left the band after the albums release. Who could really blame him?

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Simpsons movie, Lohan, Cookout

-I got to see "The Simpsons Movie" early, and yes, it is great. Reminiscent of the show in it's prime, with very few jokes/gags that fall flat, ton's of quotable lines ("I like men now!"), great animation, some good gags during the credits, Spider Pig, and much more. It's worth your money.   -I also saw "I Know Who Killed Me", and it's not as bad as some (particularly critics) are making out to be, but it's not good either. The acting is hit and miss (especially Lohan, who's performance goes from cringe worthy to pretty damn good several times), and it makes little if any sense logically. It's worth a matinee showing, or a rental on DVD. Since it tanked, I expect it to do better on DVD.   -Speaking of Lohan, I don't know what to make of her at this point. At one hand, I think she's an idiot, and should go to jail. On the other hand, I will admit it, I kinda feel bad for her.   -The "Red Band" trailer for Resident Evil: Extinction is up. I kinda liked the first one, but after the second one, I'm not holding my breath. It looks gorier than the previous ones. Oh, and yes, that is Ashanti.   -Finally, I went to a cookout recently. If you ask me, it's not a successful one unless there are these three things: Beer, Brauts, and BBQ. It didn't have the third one, but with the Beer and Brauts, it was worth it. Oh, and cheese fries. So I guess it was worth it.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

SHOCKING NEWS!!!!

Go away Enigma. Nobody likes you. Nobody cares about whatever useless newsbit you just got from The Observer. Nobody wants to see your long haired mug everytime you post. In fact, nobody likes it when you post. Just stop posting. Nobody will miss you. I doubt that even much of the WWE folder likes you that much. Nobody cares that some arena got torn down, or that Michael Cole turned 40, or whatever. Just stop it. Oh, and how do you know what gay smells like? "I smell a little bit of "the gay" around here is one of the worst things said on this board.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Shitty Horror Movies I Love

Here's a list of horror movies that I think aren't really good, but I love them anyway. Basically, if you like your horror movies corny, then I recommend these.   Ghosts of Mars-John Carpenter basically combines two of his movies ("The Fog" and "Assault on Precinct 13") and comes up with this sucker. It's not great by any means, but it has it's charms, such as Ice Cube, Natasha Henstridge (remember her?), Pam Grier, and a villain named "Big Daddy Mars" who looks like a goth rock star.   Lifeforce-Tobe Hooper's biggest budgeted movie still entertains me, in spite of the fact that it's goofy as hell. Basically, it has Space vampires (including a girl who is naked throughout the whole movie) who suck out people's souls, the population of London turning into zombie vampire things, London being destroyed, overacting, and Patrick Stewarts first on screen kiss-which is with Steve Railsback. Also, the first of two Tobe Hopper movies on the list.   Burial Ground-Italian zombie trash is ludicrous fun, with zombies that for some unexplained reason can use weapons, plenty of tits and ass, a creepy midget playing a creepy kid who has a creepy crush on his mother, gore galore, a scientist saying to a zombie "No, I'm your friend!"   Zombie Creeping Flesh (aka "Virus" and "Hell of the Living Dead)-If Ed Wood directed an Italian zombie gore flick, it would be like this. Contains pointless nudity, bad dialogue(ex. "What's eating you?"), tons of jungle stock footage, some decent gore, and a scene with a man in a tutu that's suppossed to be serious.   Mortuary-I reviewed this a while back, but after seeing it a second time, I've grown to sort of like it. In this one, a family of three takes residence in a morgue at Arkham, Mass (if you know of the works of H.P. Lovecraft, you know this is a bad thing), and run into some problems-including a guy called Bobby Fowler, more H.P. Lovecraft references then you can shake a stick at, and a fungus that turns people into zombies.   Zombi 3-Lucio Fulci's sequal to "Zombi 2" is largely hated, but so corny, it's hard for me to hate. This movie deals with a toxin that turns people into zombies, but that's just the beginning. Here, you get zombie birds, slow zombies, fast zombies, a Stevie Wonder gone Ratafarian radio DJ, gore, and best of all-a severed zombie head in a fridge that inexplicably flies out and attacks a guy.   That's all for now. Here's some of what you might find in this blog this summer:   -A look at the year so far -Two book reviews-One of Edward Lee's "The Bighead", and one of Joe Lansdale's "Dead in the West" -The worst Wrestling feuds of all time -overrated horror movies    

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Shadrack

-Well, things aren't too sunny in my life right now. I've got a test on Wednesday, and I'm scared as hell. Also, it's freezing cold here in Dayton, and I've got a headache.   -It's seems like Cronoyasha was banned again after a day or two of being unbanned. Also, this amuses me, but it seems like wildpegasus keeps coming back under different pseudonyms, only to have his ass banned each time. I have two theories on this: either 1.) He knows he won't be unbanned, and he's just fucking with us, or 2.) He really thinks he'll be allowed back again. Either way, he's getting what he wants: attention. He gets attention even when he's banned. Even MikeSC and CronoT never got this kind of attention.   -Finally, I reccomend the movie "Feast." It was out in September in a limited midnight show relase, and is now on DVD. It's no classic, but it's a hell of a lot of fun, and pretty damn gory to boot.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

See No Evil: A Review

How do you make a slasher flick with potential a bad movie? When you are WWE Films.   First things first: See No Evil is not the first movie WWE films produced, in spite of what some will tell you. It was actually co-producer of Scorpian King and The Rundown (the latter a pretty damn good action flick). It is the first though, in movies that had potential to be to be a watchable B-Movie, but somehow manages to fuck it all up.   The plot: A group of juvenile delinquents who you don't really give two shits about have to clean up an "abandoned" hotel, only to run into a reclusive psychopath with mommy-issues named Jacob Goodnight (played by Glenn "Kane" Jacobs), who proceeds to knock them off. Oh, and he loves gouging out his victims eyes (hence the title, which is essentialy a bad pun. Better than the previous title of Eye Scream Man, though the thought of Kane as a killer ice cream man is amusing. Hell, he was a dentist.)   While there's some decent kills (including a nice bit with a cellphone), the movie also manages to get this right: sleaze. The flick oozes with the kind of seedy vibe found in late 70's and 80's era exploitation movies. Unfortunately, Jacob is not exactly a very threatening villain, as he's just another stock slasher with mother issues. Oh, and we get to see him punish the pope. Yep, Vince McMahon was involved with it!   Another problem is the filming style. The whole thing, directed by former porn director Gregory Dark (he of New Wave Hookers and White Bun Busters fame) feels more like Saw lite instead of a slasher movie. What could have been a fun throwback to 70's and 80's slasher flicks like The Toolbox Murders and The Slayer ends up being another hyper edited, annoying horror flick. In short: Once again WWE films fails, only here it's for the first time.   Oh, and no Vince, people do not want to see Kane spank it.   Rating: 3 out of 10.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

See "The Descent" you Motherfuckers

-I saw "The Descent" last Friday night, and all I have to say is this: See it now. Hell, see it twice if you have to. Seriously, this is the best horror movie that you will see this year. It's got some nice gore, realistic characters instead of the normal dumb teens you normally get, and it's intense and scary as hell. Basically, fucking see "The Descent", because it kicks all of your collective asses, and is better than any other horror movie you will see this year. Oh, and I won't quit talking about it until more people have seen it.   -I had no idea Masked Man of Mystery had a blog. He's a decent guy, and while a bit of a geek who takes things a bit too seriously at times, I like him.   -See "The Descent"   -If you've been on Youtube lately, you probably have heard of a weird ass web cartoon called Bart the General, which is what would happen if a Simpsons fan with ADD took MDMA and made a web cartoon. This is possibly the strangest thing you will see this year, and it's already gaining a cult following on the web.   -See "The Descent"   -On Rick James B1tch: Dude, change your name, because that "Chapelles Show" skit stopped being funny the second people started quoting it.   -See "The Descent"   -Brendon Smalls is a genius. His new show "Dethklok Metalocalypse" debuted on Adult swim last night, and it rules. Also, they are showing new episodes of "The Venture Brothers" again, and that show is now the best cartoon on TV.   -See the Descent

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Rooty Tooty Doo

-Well, I'm done with work for one of my classes. Other than that, it's buisiness as usual over here. It looks like its going to rain.   -I'm not looking forward to X-Men 3. Why? Well, besides the fact that it's directed by the dude who did "Red Dragon" (I hated that movie), it looks like they're trying to put too much from the series into one movie.   -WWE has officially ruined Trish Vs. Mickey thanks to the addition of Beth. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Plus, I knew they were going to ruin it somehow. Also, I'm sick and tired of Umaga. Smackdown already has a dreadful HOSS BY GAWD that can't be stopped, so why does Raw have to? Wait a minute, this is Raw I'm talking about...   At least Smackdowns has had build-up.   -A while back, I promised you a strange link, so here you go: bianca's Fetish Forum. Thanks to Something Awful for providing the link. Anyways, there's some weird shit here, but I think most of it's made up.   That's all for now. Next time: Preperation for finals, the weather, and my Memorial Day visit to my parent's house.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Rolling Stone Sucks

-To Rolling Stone: Can't you do one issue without complaining about how much you hate Bush? Sure, I hate him too. Hell, I think he's one of the worst presidents we've ever had (not the worst, but one of them), but I don't obsess over the guy like you do. Besides, it's gotten tiresome that you have to have a 5,000+ word essay about why you hate him in every issue. I remember last year, when an article about the Michael Jackson trial became a big rant about Bush. Basically, it's time to hang it up guys.   -Raw really sucked last night. Did we really need to see Vince McMahon's ass again? By the way Vince: The "Kiss My Ass" club was never funny, and it's not even creepy anymore. It's just annoying. Then again, this is Vince I'm talking about...   That out of the way, the bump Lilian Garcia took was fucking nasty.   -Remember folks: One more week until "Cemetary Man" comes out on DVD   -I've been listening to a lot of Led Zeppelin today, and I still think that "Led Zeppelin III" is their best album. Sure, it's not as heavy on the drums as "Physical Graffiti", but I think songwriting wise, it's their best album. Plus, how could anybody hate the song "That's The Way"?   -To Hotbutter Spoonbuster: Why are you so pissed off all the time?   That's all for now. Next time: Depeche Mode albums

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

ROLLING STONE GAVE CHINESE DEMOCRACY 4 OUT OF 5 STARS!!!!

IT WILL OBVIOUSLY BE GREAT!!!!!!   Yeah, well they also gave St Anger 4 stars, as well as 50 Cent's The Massacre, Emiem's Encore, and several other shitty albums. 4 stars from Rolling Stone don't mean shit. Oh, and they gave Mick Jagger's Goddess on the Doorway 5 stars-no solo Mick Jagger solo album is good ,you out of touch cocksuckers.   Also, quit fooling yourselves: this is not Guns N' Roses. Yeah, it's called Guns N' Roses, but it's not, ok people. It's just Axl Rose (and his enormous ego's) solo project. Nothing more, nothing less. Oh, and it's pretty unlikely it will live up to all the hype.   Don't agree? Tough shit. Quit sucking the guy's cock and face the facts. Unless you forgot The Spagghetti Incident.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

RIP Tim Russert

-Tim Russert died at 58 today. Dude was one of the last great Journalists around, and one of the few people in the news media that I have respect for. RIP man.

-I'm going to my sister's graduation tomorrow. Should be fun.

-I'm also going to give Lil' Wayne's new album a listen sometime this week. Does it live up to all the hype?

-I'll go back to the worst horror movies of all time in the days ahead as well. I'm almost finished BTW.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

RIP Robert Altman

-In case you haven't heard, famous director Robert Altman passed away recently. His credits include "M*A*S*H", "Nashville", "The Player", "Gosford Park", and more. RIP Man   -In other news, Michael "Kramer" Richards appeared on Letterman last night to apologize. Whether or not he....THERE'S A NIGGER!!!!! I will never look at "Time for a drink from the firehose" the same way again.   -Well, I ordered Edward Lee's novel "Coven" from Shocklines. I highly recommend this website, as it has tons of cool horror related stuff. Oh yeah, look for a review of that on this blog soon, as well as one for Stephen King's novel "Cell" and some more.   -Finally, here's Andrew WK on the Aqua Teen Hungerforce Episode "Party All The Time" Yes, Frylock has cancer in this episode.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

RIP Marney

Apparently, she's dead. I never agreed with her on hardly anything, but she didn't deserve to die, especially that way. RIP Marney.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Return to the mall

Sunday was interesting, as I returned to the mall. Was it a fun experience?   Unlike last time, I saw no Juggalos. I even found t-shirts I wanted (all horror movie related). The guy working at the store though, hoo-boy. He was a loud talker. I mean a really loud talker. I was practically worried he was going to skin me alive, the way he went on about horror movies and whatnot, practically seeming like he was about to come out of his skin. In short, he scared the shit out of me. Oh, and the guy he was working with him looked like a chick. Also, the music they played in there sucked.   I thought of going into the Hot Topic for a laugh, but changed my mind. I already went to one store for shirts (called Cosmic or some bullshit) so I didn't want to suffer. I did go to the bookstore there (Waldens, which sure as hell ain't Borders) and got John Skipp's book "The Long Last Call." It's a good, quick read, with interesting characters, as well as a great introduction by Brian Keene.   All this out of the way, it would be nice if the people working at the mall knew where certain places were. Come on, they work there at the mall, and they don't know where the mall's book store is? Also, why do bookstores all the sudden have to be flooded with Anime merchandise? I go there to get a horror or sci-fi novel, or a magazine, not to have Inuyasha (no, not CronoT's attempt at being a master of disguise) look at me.   I then went to FYE, then left. In case the music industry is wondering "why aren't people buying CD's like they used to?", it probably has to do with the fact that CD's cost $19.99. I'm not paying that much for a Neurosis CD, no matter how much I like the band. That's too fucking expensive.   So yeah, that's my return to the mall in a nutshell.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Return of The Mack

-First things first: That "mutant baby" picture (it's Czech's new Avatar Picture) scares the fucking shit out of me. That may be one of the scariest things I've seen on the internet, and I've seen some terrifying shit on the internet.   -I can seem to quit listening to the new Ghostface Killah album. It's that damn good. Anyone who enjoys hip hop should give this one a listen. Plus, it doesn't cost very much, and it's got some awesome producers (the late J.Dilla, Pete Rock, MF Doom, Just Blaze). Also, I'm looking forward to the new Current 93 CD (should be out by May or June), the new Aphex Twin CD (out on the 18th. It has the best tracks from last years Analord vinyl series), the new Mono album (a great post-rock band from Japan. It's being produced by Steve Albini), and a re-issue of shoegazer band Chapterhouse's album Whirlpool (complete with bonus tracks from ep's). Also, I might get the new Goldfrapp CD, and the new one from The Sounds (they are a new guilty pleasure for me).   -All of my classes were cancled yesterday. I still got a ton of homework to do.   -A guy in a dorm a few rooms from me keeps playing the three songs over and over again, and it's driving me crazy: Lovers And Friends by Usher w/ Lil' Jon and Ludacris, The Crossroads by Bone Thugs N Harmony, and Love by Keisha Cole. I have to hear these songs for 50 minutes every fucking morning.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Rethinking things

As I'm typing this, "The Shield" season finale is on   In case you didn't know, Inc. hates me. I mean he really hates me. He says I'm nothing. I got pissed off over this.   Bad idea.   Well now, I don't know what to do. I gave up, and decided what the hell, let him waste his time. I did nothing to him, but what can I do? Nothing. So he hates me. Whatever. I lost my cool, and it was a mistake.   I'm not that bad of a poster, am I?   Right now, I'm rethinking my role on TSM. I'm still going to post. I'm not going to quit just because a few people think I'm pathetic. That out of the way, I need to chill out. I can't just yell at someone over the internet, since that accomplishes diddly shit.   Maybe I should join the Pit. Granted, Rapemaster MikeSC and wildpegasus post there, and I'm not too wild about them. But I need to start posting somewhere beside here. I have no interest in say, DVDVR's boards. Fark? Don't like it too much. Something Awful? I'm not paying to post somewhere. Wrestlecrap? You must be fucking kidding me.   I'm I still pissed? Yes, a little. I didn't do shit to Inc, and he insults me. What's his problem. However, I'm not going to argue with him, since it's a waste of time.   I've been posting here for almost three years. I've loved it for the most part. I've met some great people and posters. I'm not going to quit just because somebody I never met in my life doesn't like me. I do need to work on some things though. I need to quit trying to be cool with everybody. Some people are assholes, but I'll just have to deal with it. The fact that I lost my cool is rather hypocritical, since I insult certain posters as well. So I should take a few punches. It was only a matter of time before someone ripped on me. I guess I had it coming.   The point of all this is that I'm trying to show some humility here. I'll go back to being the same old Gary Floyd that you love/hate/ignore. I'll go back to posting pictures that amuse some and annoy others. Don't like it? Too bad.   So there you have it. I'm sorry I lost my cool. I don't want to fight anymore. Let's just go back to sort of tolerating one another.   Oh, and Matt, I don't want to be your "nigga."

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Resident Evil:Extinction (Day 2)

02.) Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

Plot: The third entry in the "Resident Evil" movie franchise sees Alice (Milla Jovovich) and a band of survivors from the previous (horrible) movie (including Oded Fehr and Mike "Where's Ice Cube?" Epps) and some new faces (Ali Larter as Claire Redfield and Ashanti-yes, that Ashanti) in a world reduced to a desert by the T-Virus. There's still plenty of undead, and the Umbrella Corperation want Alice-as she's the original. See, there's these clones-oh come on, you aren't watching this for plot.

Review: Not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, the third entry in the series is actually the best of the series so far. Sure, it's far from original-cribbing elements from Day of the Dead (1985) (domesticating the dead) and The Mad Max movies (post apocalyptic desert landscape), but it at least has some decent points to go with the mindless action.

For starters, there is thankfully more undead action this time around, with sun baked zombies at nearly every corner. Also absent this time is dreadful Nu-Metal, and that's always a plus. The acting is at least competant, and the movie itself is the most competantly directed entry in the series, managing to make sure you don't get bored for the large part. Also, if you don't like Ashanti, you'll be glad to know her role is small (as is her time in the movie).

That out of the way, the fact that Alice has powers and superhuman abilities (from the last movie, which I like to pretend didn't happen) is really dumb. That reminds me, you really don't care about anybody in this movie, as there is no character development whatsoever throughout. People appaear and disappear, and those who die are people you really didn't see much of anyways. The ending also leaves room for yet another sequal, and really, do we need another one. Ok, it made about $150 Million worldwide, so it's inevetible. That out of the way,t he series needs to end, as we can't keep getting sequal after sequal. It's tiresome.

Still, it's a decent Saturday afternoon flick, and if you don't think too hard while watching it, you might sorta enjoy it.

Final Verdict: 6/10. Dumb popcorn entertainment not at it's best, but hardly at it's worst, and is at least the best "Resident evil" movie so far. Check it out if nothing else is on.

Next time: Zombie Bloodbath


Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Reasons Why "Return To The 36 Chambers" is Awesome.

It's hilarious, distrubing, perverse, scatalogical, homophobic, mysoginistic, violent, schizo-in short, it's what many a white rapper has tried to accomplish, and failed to deliever. Rza's Production-"My beats are slammin' from the rugged programmin'" He brags about being on welfare. "Brooklyn Zoo" is awesome, but "Damage", "Proteck Your Neck II In The Zoo" and "Harlem World" deserve plenty of love. "Drunk Game (Sweer Sugar Pie)" in it's entirety. "I'm the baddest Hip Hop Man on the Planet!" He raps, sings, howls, bellows, forgets his rhymes-it's the musical equivelent of a paranoid crackhead on open mic night. Like The Gravediggaz "6 Feet Deep", it does what Insane Clown Posse and many of their peers tried to do, but failed to in the fact that it's violent, sexist, and really fucking funny instead of completely horrible. The opening. "Never in the History of Hip Hop" has never been used so appropriately. He randomly sings "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" Words of aadvice: "Go To School. Take a shit. Don't wipe ya ass." His Hip Hop drops on ya head like ra-a-ain His balls are fragile like eggs. GZA's performance on "Damage" is among his most underrated-plus, it's fun to hear him loosen up a bit. Not only is there no other Hip Hop album like it, there's no other album quite like it. It's a realy one in a kind experience that everyone must experience to truly understand or love.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Reasons the Venture Brothers rules

If you ask me, "The Venture Brothers" is the best thing on Adult Swim right now. Here is why:   -It's from two guys who worked on The Tick. Remeber that awesome cartoon?   -JG "Foetus" Thirwell does the shows music. And he does a hell of a job.   -The best characterization and continuity on a comedy show since "Arrested Developement"   -Brock Sampson is the biggest badass in cartoon history   -Dr. Venture is such an asshole (he even used an orphans heart to operate a machine), and you can't hate him. In fact, you can't hate any of the characters   -Hank's obsession with Batman   -Dean's schoolboy crush on Trianna. You just have to like Dean. Plus, I think she's starting to like him back   -Dr. Orpheus. Everything he says is hilarious. Plus, he's a wonderful parody of Vincent Price   -The constant Pop Culture references, ie William Burroghs, Hunter S. Thompson, Star Wars, and even H.P. Lovecraft get nods   -The Monarch   -The Monarch's henchmen   -Girl Hitler   -The fact that most of the villans have grudges against Dr. Venture because he is such a prick   -The most quotable thing on TV right now. Plus, the quotes and one liners never get old   -The fact that Brock, Dr Girlfriend, and Phantom Limb are the smartest people on the show   -Dr Girlfriend's voice, and the fact that she's able to put up with complete losers. I'm suprised she actually has had sex with Monarch   -Brock thinking Dr Girlfriend was once a man. I've thought the same thing   -Brock's sadomasochistic relationship with Moltov Cocktease   -Hank's creepy crush on Moltov Cocktease   -Monarch's henchmen singing "Mars, Bringer of War"   -Brock, naked and covered in Blood, singing Technotronic as a man's last request   -Dean's testicle problems. The poor kid gets the most abuse, and it's hilarious   -The villains various origins.   -Stephen Colbert has been on the show   -"IGNORE ME!"   -Brock telling Hank it's like he channels dead people   -The best realization that laughing at fucked up people and their problems is great since "Arrested Developement"

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Raw like Cocaine straight from Bolivia

-I didn't watch Raw last night (I watched the director's cut of "The Wild Bunch" instead), though from what I've read about it, it's most likely a good thing I missed it.   Also, Edge is the best heel in the WWE right now, bar none. The guy can work up a crowd like nobody else's buisiness, and gets more heel heat than anybody else in the company.   -What happened to Leena? Just a question, but really, what happened to her? Also, Ortonsault will probably hate me, because I don't like Randy Orton.   -I'll say this about Ann Coulter: Fuck her. Fuck that fucking bitch.   -In my last entry, I mentioned my love for the fighting game "Primal Rage", so now, let me mention two I always hated: Beast Wrestle and Rise of the Robots. BW was ridiculously retarded, and was boring to boot. I would talk more about ROTR, but all my complaints about that game have already been said by everyone else.   Well, that's all for now. Next time: Why "The Henry Rollins Show" sucks, and whatever happened to Carnival?

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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