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About this blog

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Entries in this blog

 

When I was in 12th Grade...

...I thought Bill Hicks was the funniest man who ever lived.   I listen to him now, and I don't think "Bill Hicks sure is funny!" I instead think "Wow, that stoner sure sounds angry." In short, the magic has kinda disappeared.   Also, there seems to be a strange phenomenon with douchebags quoting Bill Hicks.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

The end of wildpegasus

September 14th, 2006: The Day wildpegasus was banned.   I've been posting on these boards for two years now. For a while, I didn't pay any attention to WP. Sure, there was the now legendary Astro Boy thread, but that was it.   Then, sometime this year (I think it was summer, I don't really remember), it finally happened: the man pissed me off.   It was in the CE folder, on a thread about the conspiracy theory disguised as a documentary "Loose Change". Firt of all, if you really think that everything in "Loose Change" is true, then you are an idiot. So of course, WP mentioned the fireman saying "it sounded like bombs" (though that's not the entire sentence that the fireman said), and basically acted a fool. I told him that he was an idiot, and I dared him to say such things in front of somebody who lost their loved ones on 9/11.   After that, I decided to look more into WP, and found out his sordid history: The fact that he's 29, a virgin, and still lives with his parents. Then there's the aftermentioned Astro Boy thread, which in itself is a homage to self pity and loneliness that beats out every other bit of loneliness and self pity I have seen on the net. Then there's the fact that he pissed everybody off. Oh, and his posts in the LSD folder are the stuff of great comedy.   Then, there's the benchpress story, in which he claimed to have achieved orgasm through exercise techniques, and that "there was no hip movement." He also called Czech "kid" at one point (Czech is 10 or 11 years WP's junior, and he's no where near as pathetic.) and started bugging me as well, at a few points calling me "girlfriend", even though I'm a 23 year old guy who's a college senior. He even supposidly created a gimmick account to defend himself.   Now he's been banned.   I'm actually suprised. People kept calling for WP to be banned, but the requests fell on deaf ears for a while. Now he's gone. To be honest, I kind of miss him, simply because well, who am I going to make fun of now?   Let's face it folks, making fun of WP was fun. Sure, he was a serious jackass, but he was an amusing one due to the sheer level of his being a loser. I actually don't think he was a gimmick, and that he really was that pathetic. Also, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't amused by the way he pissed everyone off so much.Sure, he was a slimey, pathetic, shameless, loser. But damnit, he was our slimey, pathetic, shameless loser.   That out of the way, I'm also kind of glad he's gone. His posts sometimes reached levels of depressing in how sad and worthless they were, and the way he is, and always will be.   so, RIP WP. Oh, and good riddence.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Food Network Funky Shit

Well, what did i do other than read, waste time on the internet, and see "Casino Royale" over the weekend? I watched something I never really do watch: The Food Network. As I was watching it, here's the personalities that stuck out the most.   Emeril: I swear, this man is on drugs, because I haven't seen an adult man this excited on television in a long time. The sheer hyperactivity is alarming, because you are waiting for him to have a heart attack down the road. Really, I'm suprised to see that the man is still alive.   Rachael Ray: She's not that ugly. Sure, she sounds like a guy, but she has a decent body. She's pretty damn annoying though, and from what I hear, she has a daytime talkshow now. It's amazing to see a woman so oppsessed with making quick meals.   Alton Brown: AKA Mr. Know it all. This guy really seems to think that he is God's gift to food related television programs. The "humor" applied to his "Good Eats" show is piss poor at best. Also, he looks like a child molester. Come on, look at the motherfucker, he practically screams "Hey kid, I've got candy in my car. Wanna hop in?"   Paula Dean: I have officially found a new induction into my "creepy television" list. This woman honestly scares the shit out of me with her cheerful demenor, love of all things fat and buttery, ungrateful brats, creepy smile, and well, the list goes on. There is no way this lady will ever have a heart attack, since her entire bloodstream is obviously made up of mayo, butter, fat, and high levels of sodium and cholesterol. She's always smiling, which leads me to think she's got some serious psychological issues. Come on, no one smiles that damn much. She's almost always cheerful, causing me to wonder if she's got corpses of sexually abused children in her home like Gacy did. Oh, then there's her two adult sons. Holy shit, is there a bigger pair of fucking ungrateful brats on television today? I think not. Honestly, if I were Paula Dean, I would have killed myself years ago.   So those are the 4 people on The Food Network that scare me the most.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Songs about Fucking

-Charlton Heston died. When I was a kid, he was one of my favorite actors. "A Touch of Evil" is one of my all time favorite movies, and has a hell of a soundtrack. I could go on and on, but I won't. RIP Chuck.

-Taigastar got sent to the Gulag, then was let out. While I don't like her, she didn't deserve to be there. Deon, on the other hand...

-Scott Keith is supposed to be doing a Q & A here. I remember reading his old reviews, especially his review of "Royal Rumble 94." His review of Undertaker vs. Yokozuna is hilarious (complete with Depeche Mode reference!), and pretty dead on. Also, I remember Sean Shannon was pretty universally loathed, and seems to have diappeared off the face of the Earth. What happened to the doofus?

-Finally, I won't be doing music related entries here anymore. They'll instead go on my Last.FM blog.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

People I have on ignore-and why.

I have posters on ignore, and for obvious reasons. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Here's who and why:   Deon-Every post he makes is horrible. He annoys me in every way. In a way, he is the worst poster on TSM who has never been banned. C-Bacon-"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff"-Frank Zappa. Think about that Bacon. cabbageboy-I've known of his badness for a while, and just recently put him on ignore. He's a pretty bad poster, especially in the movie and WWE folders-which are known for having bad posters. razazteca-He seems to have disappeared. Maybe I should put him off ignore. VanHalen-Also M.I.A. Should have been named VanCherone. Banky-Hard to enjoy the music folder without him on ignore. The Truthiness-Put him on ignore last night. I am fully convinced he is a gimmick. Here's people I should have on ignore, and probably will someday.  CheesalaisGood-I am absolutely certain this man is a truther. Narcoleptic Jumper-He is a truther. Enigma-Would make going to the WWE folder more enjoyable. EHME-Do I really need to explain? Marvinisalunatic-Ditto, though he's a little less annoying lately.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Sugar Hill (Day 20)

20.) Sugar Hill (1974)

Plot: When the mob kills the boyfriend of Sugar Hll (Marki Bey), she turns to Mama Maitresse (Zara Cully) and Voodoo god Baron Samedi (Don Pedro Colley) for revenge.

Review: The only Blaxploitation movie to involve zombies other than Petey Wheatstraw, "Sugar Hill" and it's PG rating may mean that it isn't as graphic or fun as say, Petey, Dolemite, or Coffy, but it's still a lot of fun regardless.

For one thing, the movie, much like a Rudy Ray Moore movie, doesn't take itself too seriously, and has a lot of fun with genre conventions (the stereotypical white Southern villains for example), and also offers som fun one liners ("hope you like to eat white trash!") It also helps that the performances from Bey and Colley are a lot of fun-especially Colley, who hams it up with the best of them. The zombies themselves aren't flesh eaters, but instead gray, cobweb covered ex-slaves with machetes who do Sugar's bidding.

It might not be a classic, but "Sugar Hill" is a nice guilty pleasure that, while not standing up to the likes of Cotton Comes To Harlem, still offers some fun. Great theme song too. Shame it isn't on DVD yet.

Rating: 7.5/10 A fun cult nugget from the 70's that should please Blaxploitation fans.

Next Review: Messiah of Evil

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

The lyrical genius of R.Kelly

R.Kelly is insane. He's also a lyrical genius. Or he's inane. Either way, he's R.Kelly, and he's a goledn shower loving pedophile who loves bad lyrical puns and metaphors for sex. Here's a few songs that are proof.   "You Remind Me of Something"   "Sex Weed"   "The Zoo"   Last but not least, "Sex Planet   I rest my case.    

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

The "death" of Vince McMahon

Vince, you old bastard, you did it: You got me to post in the WWE folders again.   In case you haven't seen it, Vince got in his lime last night at the end of Raw, and   Yep, they killed the Mr. McMahon character. Or at least for a while.   This is awesome. Yeah, it's dumb, but that's why it's great. TNA may have some of the better workers, but they can't come up with something like this. They come up with bullshit like VKM tormenting the WWE or Ron Killings doing horrible raps dissing the WWE. This is one of the reasons why compared to Vince, no matter how bad the product is (it's actually been decent lately), is still more interesting and better than TNA. I only watch TNA every now and again. I watch WWE more. Hell, it's got me posting in the WWE folders again, which I haven't done in ages.   I am talking about wrestling again, which I haven't done in ages. I haven't been this interested in a long time. This folks, is good television.   Of course, Vince will return. But for now, let's enjoy it.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Mark Foley: Professional Pedophile

-It seems like Republican senator Mark Foley is a pedophile. First things first: when's kkktookmybabyaway going to call me a liberal terrorist for thinking he's a sicko? Also, I originally read it as Mick Foley, so I'm actually glad it's not Mick. Which reminds me: I'm suprised Vince hasn't created a pedophile gimmick. Granted, there's noted pedophiles working for him (Lawler), but I'm still suprised. You'd think after sex with transexuals and necrophillia, pedophillia would be next.   -Meijers sucks. All I wanted was two DVD's, and they didn't have them. So I asked if I can order them. They won't let me do that. What kind of fucking store doesn't let you order DVD's? Most of the other stores I go to let you order things, yet this one won't. Oh, and Best Buy didn't have them either (which suprised me), so I'm going to have to wait.   -I'm not going to be able to see "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" on Friday, since I'm knee deep in homework. That's college for ya.    

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

More wrestling (Vince) talk, music shit, the worst new show

-Apparently, some people are taking the "Death" of Vince a little too seriously, sending letters to the company and calling them. I already posted this picture, but: Anywho, this is still awesome, or at least for the time being. I enjoy great in ring work as much as the next smark, but this is the kind of thing I love: Stories that are incredibly stupid, but are still fun because of their stupidity. Let's face it, while the WWE has done things that are so dumb they're dumb (Katie Vick, operating on "J.R.s ass"), they are also masters of so dumb it's great. And nobody does this like the WWE. What does NWA TNA have: VKM trying to sabatoge WWE shows. Granted, DX did the same thing, but it still doesn't excuse TNA's boredome factor, or at least to me.   -Now, onto music: Last time, I mentioned the worst albums of the year so far, yet I forgot to mention the new one from The Stooges albu. Granted, they haven't done an album together since the early 70's, but it still sucks, especially considering that this is the band that gve us Funhouse and Raw Power.   I also mentioned Timbaland's Shock Value.and whoo boy, is that bad. Granted, he's not a bad producer, but he should stick to that. There isn't a single interesting moment on here, from the song "Bounce" (no Missy Elliot, I don't want to see your ass n' titties. Nobody wants to) to collaborating with Fall Out Boy (who deserve a special place in hell for covering "Love will Tear us Apart), and the list goes on. This and the new Stooges albums are the years worse so far, though Timbaland wins it for the album being a ridiculous achivement in ego.   -What's the wort new show on TV? Why, its "Lil' Bush", the new cartoon on Comedy Central. Using tired "BUSH IZ STOOPID" and Bill Clinton jokes that went out as soon as Billy boy left office, as well as the worst attempts at political satire since Rolling Stone in the past few years, even the biggest Bush hater will hate this pile of shit. Unless you are Rolling Stone, who seem to like the show. Yeah, it's not like they are still relevent or anything...

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

5 Things that are "cool" to hate on the Internet (abd why that hate is dumb)

Al Gore gave us the internet in I don't really remember. If he knew that it would give us pathetic "reality" porn sites, an outlet for furries, message board "wars", wanna be tough guys, hacker speech, and Rule # 34, he probably would kill himself. If there is anything the net has become know for in my experience, it's this: a place for fat, unwashed, virginal nerds to complain about things that really aren't worth complaining about. Here's the 5 things it's "cool" to hate on the net, and why in the end, it's dumb to hate them.   5.) Musicians that take chances   Why: Most people hate change, especially in music. Hell, I do too sometimes (DJ Shadow's The Outsider, Cabaret Voltaire's foray into House music), but sometimes, it's retarded. Look at how a few (fortunately, just a few) are already reacting to Portishead's new album, to how some Black Metal fags have responded to band's like Amesoeurs, Alcest, and Velvet Cocoon trying something different within the genre.   Why it's stupid : Look, it's not your choice how the artist sounds, it's the artists. Besides, even if it's a disaster, you have to at least give them credit for doing something different.   Will it last: This has been going on long before the internet, so yes, it will last forever.   4.) South Park   Why: Over the years, more and more people have been getting BUTT hurt over South Park making fun of their political views. When they did the "ManBearPig" episode, Liberals complained about it "preaching a conservative agenda." (I just thought it wasn't a funny episode.) Besides, these are very political times, and if you don't agree with somebody's political views, then you are either a thin skinned liberal or a nazi sympathizing neocon.   Why it's stupid: Whining about political views on the net, much like in real life, accomplishes nothing. You may feel passionately about them, but at the end of the day 1.) The world won't change tomorrow because of them and 2.) In the large scheme of things, they don't count. They are just opinions people. Besides, if everyone everywhere agreed on everything, life would be boring.   Will it last: I honestly think that the only way this will end is when Bush leaves office and if McCain doesn't win the 2008 election. It will be then that people quit calling the show propaganda.   3.) Libertarians   Why: When Ron Paul started running in 2007, he became a hero to some who felt that Bush had been a disaster, the Iraq War was a fuck up, and that we needed somebody who was different. Sadly, it ended up attracting anti-semitic and conspiracy theory spewing retards claiming to be Libertarians while having no idea what Libertarianism actually is.   Why it's stupid: A part of this isn't really that dumb. I wouldn't blame people (especially those who actually are Libertarians) for hating this phenomenon. However, it also boils down to the "you don't agree with my political views, so you suck" problem, in which angry conservatives and liberals insult these guys for daring to disagree.   Will it last: It should end by the year's end, then return in the next election.   2.) Juno   Why: "Juno" was the little indie comedy of 2007 that got ton's of acclaim and hype, even getting Oscar nominations (and winning best original screenplay-I don't think it deserved that...). By the time February rolled around though, people everywhere on the internet were bitching about the movie, calling it "The Death of the American Independent Movie" (as pbone called it)   Why it's stupid: While I liked the movie, I can understand people hating it. It didn't deserve all those nominations, and some of the dialog annoyed me. That out of the way, a part of the hatred seemed to come from some feeling like it was "test marketed for hipsters", which largely doesn't make sense to me. The other problem for them is that it's a popular indie comedy, and if history shows, popular indie movies ("Napoleon Dynamite", "Cabin Fever", "The Blair Witch Project") are automatically cool to hate in some people's minds. Look, just because a movie get's a ton of hype doesn't mean it's a bad movie. Sure, it might not live up to all your expectations, but it isn't worth all that venom.   Will it last: Give it another year or two. The next indie comedy hit will come out, and then people will go on to bitch about that.   1.) Hip Hop   Why: Internet nerds feel threatened by what they don't understand-be it liberals, conservatives, Indie Music, or Extreme Metal. No musical genre online though, gets the hatred Hip Hop does. Basically, it offends some people's overly white view of the world, so they lash out at it because they don't understand it. That out of the way, the homophobia and misogyny of several rapper's doesn't help matters, nor do guys like Lil' Jon and Yung Joc.   Why it's stupid: I can understand people not liking guys like Soulja Boy and Lil' Mama, or the crassness some artists use. But to dismay the entire genre is stupid. People used to do the same thing about Frank Zappa and Led Zeppelin, and still say the same about Heavy Metal. Plus, there's the whole not understanding it-to lash out at the genre because you don't understand it is as stupid as it gets. If anything, it's close minded and willfully ignorant.   Will it last: These complaints have been going on since the 80's, so it will never end. As long as Hip Hop exists, there will sadly still be fat guys with mullets and Boston T-Shirts or Greasy guys with long hair and Pantera T-Shirts complaining about Hip Hop. It's a cycle that will sadly never end.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Tarzan the Rapeman

-Well, the Queen visited thw Whitehouse today, and things went well from what I've heard. Right now, I'm pretty pissed off at Bush, but I'll leave that for another post.   -I haven't seen "Spiderman 3", but from what I've heard, I didn't miss much. Shrek the 3rd comes out next week, and to be honest with you, I don't care. I'm just doing what I can to not buy products with Shrek on them. I swear to God, the last one sponsered so many products that I'm suprised Shrek and Donkey didn't start shilling Maxipads.   "Wow Donkey, these new Maxipads work better than the old ones! They're so absorbent!" "Yeah Shrek, I haven't felt this fresh in a long time!"   Anyways, it made about $148 Million in the U.S. over the weekend. At least I have "28 Weeks Later" on Friday.   -Lately, I've been hearing about a bunch of Christians who feel threatened by notable Athiests, thinking that the likes of Richard Dawkins will try to convert their children. You know folks, I'm not an Athiest or Agnostic, but I'm sick of hearing these fundies cry over this shit. Seriously, why should anybody care whether or not somebody believes in God? I don't give a flying fuck if somebody's an Athiest, its not affecting me, and its not affectecting anybody else. Yet Kirk Cameron (remember him?) and his pals are feeling threatened. Get over it, none of these guys want to convert you into Atheism. Just because Christopher Hitchens (who's a Bush supporter from what I've heard) doesn't believe in God and writes a book that tells you why does not mean that he's trying to turn you into an Athiest.   Also, there was a Death Metal band named Athiest who were actually pretty good, and I normally can't stand Death Metal.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

The Condemned: A Review

There's bad movies, and then there's WWE Films.   Ok, I take that back: "The Rundown" was pretty fun. This one is no Rundown though. It's mearly a poor man's "Battle Royale" with a tacked on moral message.   The plot: A new reality show exclusive to the internet has been created by a bigshot Hollywood producer (Robert Mammone). The show puts 10 people on death row on an island, and gives them 30 hours to live. Among the contestants: Jack Conrad (Steve Austin, who does an good job), whose like, got a family you know; and McStarley (Vinnie Jones, who steals the show), who's the sick villain you love to hate. Oh, and there's some message about how violence is wrong. That's right, WWE is telling you that violence is wrong.   What could have been a decent action movie is ruined by some poor performances, stereotypes, overly realistic violence (World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT!), a generic soundtrack (come on, Nickleback? Though Grame Revell's score is competant), preachiness, and more. While Austin, Jones, and Masa Yamaguchi do commendable jobs, the rest of the cast is a poorly written blend of dumb kids weened on violent video games (World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT!), a sterotypical greedy Hollywood bigshot, the concerned female, the worried wife, and thugs and rapists. Character actor Rick Hoffman (he of "Hostel" and "Cellular" fame) has a performance that could have been better if the screenplay by Rob & Andrew Hedden, who are writers for WWE, knew how to write interesting characters.   Speaking of WWE, the movie is yet another example of how WWE Films essentially fails to deliver on the dumb but fun kind of spectacle you would want. A movie like "See No Evil" could have been a decent throwback to the Slasher flicks of old, but instead was just "Saw" lite. "The Marine" could have been a decent afternoon action flick, but failed even at a rudimentary level. Here, "The Condemned" also could have been a fun action flick, but is bogged down by a preachy message, which reaches MST3K movie levels of ineptitude when the reporter asks the audience "Are we the condemned?" In short, while they are laughably bad, WWE Films so far has yet to create an enjoyable B-Movie.   But hey, who needs that when World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT! Too bad for them that Paul Verhoven, George Romero, and even Eli Roth have too, and to much better success.   Rating: 3 out of 10.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Messiah of Evil (Day 21)

21.) Messiah of Evil (1973)

Plot: In the California town of Pointe Dune, Arletty Lang (Marianna Hill) is looking for her reclusive artist father (Royal Dano.) So, what's with the undead town's people? And who is the Messiah of Evil?

Review: Night of the Living Dead meets the works of H.P. Lovecraft in Will Hyuck's underrated cult classic. While you won't finds piles of gore here, you will find a creeping sense of dread and a nice little gothic horror tale made for about $80,000 or $100,000.

What works in the movie,as I mentioned already, is the sense of dread. You know there's something about the townspeople-they are flat, emotionless, pale, and bleeding from the eyes. When something does happen, it leaves an impression, especially in two setpieces: one in a supermarket, the other in a . The movie also gets away with some social commentary. The supermarket scene-the undead feasting upon uncooked meat-anticipates Romero's commentary on consumerism found in his masterpiece Dawn of the Dead. Also, like Let's Scare Jessica to Death, Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, I Drink Your Blood, and Simon, King of the Witches, "Messiah of Evil" serves as a commentary of the hippie movement. Here, the dead seem to be not only a veiled commentary on consumerism gone mad, but also the fact that in the end, the hippie movement, no matter how it denied it, was a sense of conformity.

The movie does have it's flaws-poor acting, an annoying, warbly song-but the one flaw that hurts the movie some is the narration. We don't need a narrator to explain what's going on here people. Still, it's an underrated gem, and deserves a look.

Director Hyuck went on to write American Graffiti and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Then he did Howard the Duck, and his career never recovered.

Rating: 8.5/10 Yep, the Writer/Director of Howard the Duck did one of the most underrated zombie movies of the 70's. See it-it's not hard to find online, and it's public domain.

Next Time: Dead Heist

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Damn

Well, it turns out old Benoit is a murder. Well, so much for that eulogy, which will now be deleted.   Chris, I'll always love you're in ring work, but seriously, fuck you man.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Let's talk music, or whatever

Let's talk about some of the music coming out (or has already come out)   Kanye West-Heartbreak and 808's-If it weren't for Cryptopsy's The King Beneath, this would be the worst album of the year. It has a neat idea (old 808 drum machine beats and electro/synth pop production), but it's terrible overall. Also, I fucking hate Auto-Tune/The Vocalizer.   Metallica-Death Magnetic-Wow, they still got it. While hardly their best work, it's a step in the right direction, and almost forgives the sins of Re-Load and St. Anger. There's a few weak tracks ("Unforgiven III", "The Judas Kiss"), but not bad overall.   Darkspace-Darkspace III-Ambient Black Metal done right. A good, cold winter night outside album, with a good use of keyboards (holy shit, they actually know how to use a synth!), and some effective atmosphere. It may be a bit too long (79 minutes and 14 seconds), but if you have patience for this sort of thing, it's good. Also, if you want an equally good, but shorter, go with Coldworld's Melancolie².   Q Tip-The Renaissance-Yeah, this is the best hip hop album of the year bar none. Nobody's paying attention to it, which is a shame. "Johnny is Dead" is a great song BTW.   The Killers-Day and Age-Not as fun as Hot Fuss, but better than Sam's Town, it at least sees them remembering "hey, we're a dance band that's supposed to be disposable fun." The single suck, and Brandon Flowers still can't write lyrics for shit, but oh well. Hardly an album of the year, but not terrible either. File it under the same category as Hot Fuss-a guilty pleasure-and you got something.   Re Up Gang-Clipse Presents the Re Up Gang and We Got it For Cheap Vol. 3-The official first Re Up Gang album is pretty unspectacular, though the We Got it For Cheap Vol. 3 mixtape, while not as awesome as the last one, is awesome none the less, and a fave on my IPod.   Ad.ver.sary-Bone Music-Definately one of the most slept on albums of the year, this is the best industrial album of the year.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

See "The Descent" you Motherfuckers

-I saw "The Descent" last Friday night, and all I have to say is this: See it now. Hell, see it twice if you have to. Seriously, this is the best horror movie that you will see this year. It's got some nice gore, realistic characters instead of the normal dumb teens you normally get, and it's intense and scary as hell. Basically, fucking see "The Descent", because it kicks all of your collective asses, and is better than any other horror movie you will see this year. Oh, and I won't quit talking about it until more people have seen it.   -I had no idea Masked Man of Mystery had a blog. He's a decent guy, and while a bit of a geek who takes things a bit too seriously at times, I like him.   -See "The Descent"   -If you've been on Youtube lately, you probably have heard of a weird ass web cartoon called Bart the General, which is what would happen if a Simpsons fan with ADD took MDMA and made a web cartoon. This is possibly the strangest thing you will see this year, and it's already gaining a cult following on the web.   -See "The Descent"   -On Rick James B1tch: Dude, change your name, because that "Chapelles Show" skit stopped being funny the second people started quoting it.   -See "The Descent"   -Brendon Smalls is a genius. His new show "Dethklok Metalocalypse" debuted on Adult swim last night, and it rules. Also, they are showing new episodes of "The Venture Brothers" again, and that show is now the best cartoon on TV.   -See the Descent

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

lovecraft231 is dead

-Yep, I got a name change. Why? Because let's face it, lovecraft231 is a shitty name. Besides, gary floyd is much better. It's what makes pussy so great. It's the reason Arnold did "Commando". It's what everyone needs, and you can never have too much of it. Actually, it's the name of a Butthole Surfers song, and it never did any of those things.   -It's been a year since Katrina. What have I learned? Well, I learned that Kanye West hates Bush. I also learned more about the sheer incompetence of the current administration. Oh, and all hail Chocolate City, and it's Vanilla Suburbs.   -I'm tired of hearing about John Mark Karr. I was actually glad to hear about Tom Cruise, that's how tired I am of seeing Karr.   -wildpegasus is continuing to tard up NHB, and for some reason, I love it. I mean, it's incredibly annoying, but it's also incredibly hilarious. I think it's just the sheer pathetic aura of the man, as well as the reactions he's getting from others. Oh, and according to him, their was no hip movement.   -Check out Weird Al's Myspace to hear "Don't Download This Song". It's hilarious.   -Oblivious Heel was banned. Thank God   -Finally, thank you to KingPK, for having my name changed.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Horror Rises From The Tomb (Day 24)

24.) Horror Rises From The Tomb (1973)

Plot: A Medieval Warlock returns hundreds of years later to recieve the rest of his body (he was decapitated, you see) and kill anyone who get's in his way.

Review: The final Spanish Horror entry in this list, "Horror Rises From The Tomb" is also the second featuring the upiquitis Paul Naschy. Fortunately, this is a better movie than the jumbled mess Vengeance of the Zombies, and is a good, fitting end to the Spanish titles reviewed here, as it's a very entertaining entry in the world of weird but fun Euro-Trash flicks.

The plot is a bit confused, though fortunately, Naschy and co. manage to make the everything but the kitchen sink approach work this time, complete with gore (decapitations, hearts torn out in graphic detail, etc) nudity (this thing is a tit fest) and general weirdness (the site of a disembodied head giving orders is funny no matter how you try to spin it.)

The movie is also more interesting this time around, thanks to not overdoing it with exposition, and just letting things happen. It may be a bit confusing (a detailed plot synopsis of this is nearly impossible really), and the zombie aspect feels a little undercooked (really, do we need another movie with undead servents doing their master's bidding?), but it's still tons of fun, and a good introduction to those wanting to get into the movies of Paul Naschy.

"Horror Rises From The Tomb" and it's ilk are an acquired taste, but those wanting some nonsensical fun will be pleased.

Rating: 8/10 A fun slice of Trash Horror, though those hoping for a easy to follow plot will be dismayed. Otherwise, enjoy.

Tomorrow: A Virgin Among The Living Dead

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

gary floyd vs. Hugo Chavez, and more

-I have a feeling I probably did better on my test yesterday than I did on Monday. So you don't need to worry about me.   -My neighbors upstairs are making a racket again. I'm telling the CA tomorrow.   -Bill Clinton wentr off on some guy on Fox News. Now, I know kkktookmybabyaway will disagree with me on this, but I don't blame the guy. If I were on Fox News, I would have lost it too.   -Also, Hugo Chavez, who's probably a hero to CheesalaIsGood, called Bush the devil. My thoughts: You know hippies, just because he ripped on Bush does not make him a hero. I rip on Bush, and I'm not a hero because of that. Where's my high-five from Danny Glover? Hell, Jon Stewart seems to hate the guy, so of course, obnoxious Che Guvera shirt wearers turn on him when he does so.   Oh, and Venezuala ain't all that great. Hell, just be glad you can rip on Bush without being arrested here. If you rip on Hugo in Venezuala, you get sent to jail. Yeah, he's a real fucking hero, isn't he you socialist wannabes.   There, I'm done ranting.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Let's talk about menstration

-Ever since Benoit died, I've been in the WWE folders more than I usually am.   It's true: The place is pathetic.   I haver never seen so much unbelieveably retarded behavior on a message board since I used to lurk Livejournals for laughs. From "SUCK MY COCK CUNT" to Vampiro69's lovely posts to Angle-plex saying "fuck Debra" (yeah, how dare she get beaten like that!) that thread is both the best and the worst thing I have seen in ages. No wonder I quit hanging around that hellhole. That out of the way, Czech pretty much made the best (and funniest) posts in the thread, so he gets a "best poster on TSM" notice. The guy really is my favorite poster.   -Also, Chris was apparently giving his kid steroids, and killed him with the Cripple Crossface. This whole story just keeps getting more and more fucked up.   -Out of boredom last night, I read old threads of wildpegasus being wildpegasus, and I actually wondered how he's taking the whole thing. He must be a wreck, and for some really sick reason, that amuses me. So, since I don't post on The Pit but he does, how's he taking it over there?   I can see the situation: He wanders the streets, drinking Apple Juice, while screaming out "WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?" at the top of his lungs, as passer bys laugh at him. He enters the weightroom, and gets kicked out for bellyaching. He even thinks of hiring a hooker to ease the pain, but changes his mind when memories of his cousin return. He then goes on to masturbate to his posters of Bret Hart and Astoboy, and then cries himself to sleep.   Meanwhile, his parents are happy, as they see this as leading to his possible death, meaning they won't have to put up with him anymore.   Mean spirited? You bet, but pretty likely.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Carnival of Souls (Day 4)

04.) Carnival of Souls (1962)

Plot: After a car accident, A woman finds herself in a strange carnival of the undead.

Review: One of the best pre Night of the Living Dead zombie movies (yes, the undead existed in movies before that-and they didn't eat human flesh either), "Carnival of Souls" is also a horror classic. Made for about $33,000, and released in drive in theaters with little fanfare, it has sense become heralded as a classic-and rightfully so.

The film itself feels like a nightmare meets a Twilight Zone episode, and the zombie make up isn't that great (again, made for $33,000), it nevertheless is a haunting gem, well acted throughout, and containing a killer climax to boot. In an interesting turn of events, the movie was more influenced by the likes of Bergman than the other drive in quickies of the time, which probably explains why it originally went ignored upon it's original relase.

If you want to see it, it's public domain, and easy to find. If you want to get it on DVD, get the Criterion Collection 2-Disc version, and while I love MST3K, avoid the version with Mike Nelson on commentary mocking it (seriously Mike, stick to ripping on bad movies.)

Verdict: 10/10 A horror classic that deserves to be seen by everyone-even those who normally don't watch horror.

Next Time: The Dead Pit.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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