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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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How To Vibrate
 

Dead Heist (Day 22)

22.) Dead Heist (2007)

Plot: A bank heist goes horribly arry when (what else) the dead come in for food.

Review: As far as recent Urban Zombie movies go, "Dead Heist" is better than Zombiez, but worse than Hood of the Living Dead and Gangs of the Dead. That's not saying much, especially when you consider the fact that "Hood" and "Gangs" are bad movies too.

The dead here are cut from the same cloth as the speedy zombies from the Dawn of The Dead remake and the infected from 28 Days Later and it's sequel, only generic instead of interesting or frightening. The gore is nothing new, though the fact that the dead can only be killed by being shot in the heart (and you're to blame...) is a poor attempt at trying something different.

As far as acting goes, Big Daddy Kane does the best job. He's not good, mind you, but he does the best job. Amusingly, while Bone Crusher and E-40 are advertised as staring in it, yet they aren't in the movie for very long-Bone Crusher appears in the beginning as a patron in a strip club so tame it could have passed for MTV's "The Grind", then disappears. Meanwhile, E-40 has less than 5 minutes of screen time as a porn director, and gives a "alright, where's my paycheck already" level performance. The rest of the cast ranges from a dead ringer for Vin Diesel to the white female cop, a white businessman thinking of joining the Nation of Islam (har har), and plenty of stereotypical gang banger characters.

While not the worst recent Urban horror movie, there's still nothing worth recommending here.

Rating: 2/10 I have no idea whether or not the fact that this reminded me of the "Attack of the Street Pimps" bit from Hollywood Shuffle is a good thing or a bad thing.

Next Up: The Grapes of Death
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Brett Farve is a Fucking Cunt

No matter what you think of how the team has treated him (for fuck's sake, he says he's going to retire, changes his mind, and expects everyone in the team to accept him with open arms), or who he'll end up playing for, at the end of the day, he's a fucking whiny cunt, ant the sooner he's off of my TV, and the sooner I don't hve to hear about him anymore, the better.       Fuck Brett Farve.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

gary floyd vs. Anarchist Punk Cocksuckers

-Well, there were riots in Copenhagen over the past few days. Apparently, it's because a group of squatters failed to move out of the shitty place they were living in (even though they had been officialy evicted), and instead of moving to another abandoned building like they were told to (they had TWO FUCKING WEEKS to do this) they threw a temper tantrum and had a big riot, and invited all their asshole "Anarchist" friends from other parts of Europe to burn cars, destroy building, throw shit at police, and basically endanger the lives of others because they didn't get what they want.   And people wonder why I can't take certain protestors seriously.   Really, when I think about it, I hate "Anarchist Punks" more than than hippies, and that's saying something. These worthless fucks think that they don't have to work or go to college or in any way do something for society like everybody else does, and that they are entitled to act like assholes and endanger the lives of innocent civilians if they don't get what they want. Never mind that Copenhagen is a Democratically ruled society, and most of the Country looks down on these worthless shitlickers, but no, they feel the need to act like worthless jack-off's because they were evicted, and let me repeat this, had two weeks to move out.   So, instead of doing the civilised thing and actually moving out, they instead cause shit like this. Yes, because they had to move out (and didn't want to), they caused a massive riot. Do any of these people actually care about the innocent people who could be (or may have already been) killed? Of course not. Hell, most of the people involved in rioting didn't care about whatever cause, they just wanted to destroy things.   What's more disturbing (but not suprising) is the fact that some assholes will of course try to rationalize and defend this, but there's nothing to defend here. This isn't the L.A. Riots, where I don't agree with rioting, but I can understand why it happened. No, this is the WTO protests from a while back, where most of the rioters had no idea what they were protesting, they just wanted to wreck shit. This is like seeing the kid screaming in anger about world trade while wearing fucking Nike Tennis Shoes.   So how can I sum all of this up? Simple: Fuck "Anarchists", and their supporters. They are worse than hippies. As annoying as the hippy is, at least there's a 99% chance he won't set your house on fire for petty reasons.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

#01

1.) Led Zeppelin, a groupie, and a Mudshark

Everyone knows this story. It may be the greatest example of rock star debauchery that ever occured. Oh sure, some of you may mention something that occured at a Motley Cru tour or whatever, but here's the guy's that set the standard.

The story: It's 1969. Led Zeppelin are on tour with Vanilla fudge. On the night of July 27, Zep invites a groupie back stage, and well, she's willing to do anything. So they tie her up, and proceed to stuff bits and slices of a mudshark into her pussy and asshole. Other's say it was a Red Snapper. Either way, they stuffed her with fish.

There are several accounts as to what really happened. Zappa did a song about it (that can be heard on the live album Filmore East-June 1971.) To this day, it remains one of the most talked about moments in rock star perversion. Either way, in my opinion, it's the greatest story in music history.

So there you go, the countdown is over. Here's a recap:

12.) Luther Campbell gets a blowjob on Stage.
11.) Screamin' Jay Hawkins: Father to 57 Children.
10) Throbbing Gristle's First Gig.
9.) Elvis orders a Sandwich.
8.) John Fogerty sued for self plagerisim (no, not the poster).
7.) Cyntheia teh cock.
6.) The Story of Dopesmoker.
5.) Ozzy Satisfies His Hunger.
4.) Ozzy Remembers the Alamo.
3.) Mingus Destroy's his Bass.
2.) The Story of Mayhem.
1.) Led Zeppelin,a groupie, and a mudshark.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Night of the Comet (Day 30)

30.) Night of the Comet (1984)

Plot: After a Comet destroys much of the population, two valley girls must fend for their lives against the living dead.

Review Remember when I said "One Dark Knight" was the most 80's movie to be reviewed here? I was wrong. That award goes to Thom ("Sole Survivor") Eberhardt's Sci-Fi Horror/Comedy cult classic "Night of the Comet", with its 80's soundtrack, dialogue, hair, clothes, etc.

The movie itself really isn't a horror movie. Sure, there's zombies, but at the end of the day, this is more of a comedy if anything. That out of the way, the dead aren't treated like a joke, and thankfully avoid being reduced to pratfalls and bad slapstick humor. The dead are pretty smart themselves, as they can fire guns, talk, and much more. Well, a few can, such as Willy and his gang. Willy by the way, gets away with great one liners ("I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck!" "Let's play a game, it's called scary noises.") Shame he kicks the bucket-again.

The movie is largely light hearted, and the cast have a ball with it, while fortunately not overselling or mugging for the camera. Also, there' a scene in a shopping mall, but unlike Romero, director Eberhardt is not interested in biting social commentary. He just wants to entertain you.

"Night of the Comet" may lack the eerie atmosphere of Eberhardt's previous entry in zombie movies "Sole Survivor", but it makes up for it with campy fun.

Rating: 8/10 "Daddy would have gotten us Uzis."

Tomorow, the final movie is: You'll see.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

28 Weeks Later, Kirk Cameron, and New Order

-I saw "28 Weeks Later" on Friday, and it's great. I'd dare to say that it's just as good as the first one. It's a bit more depressing than the fisrt one, since there is no hope in this one, unlike "28 Days Later", where there was some hope. Also, to quote Joe Bob Briggs, "Anyone can die at any moment." I like to call that the "Psycho" rule, since some people who you expect to live don't. I won't tell you who, you have to see for yourself.   -Remember when I ranted about Kirk Cameron and his jackass buddies on my rant last week? Well, he's still at it, trying to prove that God exists on ABC news. If you didn't see it, here's how it went: Cameron made an idiot of himself while giving shitty evangelical responses that you'd see from a televangelist, and the Athiest did the typical "make fundies look stupid" stuff while having the charisma of a snail. So basically, I learned nothing from it, though it once again shows that people from both sides can be annoying. You can see it on the ABC news website, and on Google video. Oh, the Kelly chick was hot though, and had really great tits.   That out of the way, I'm going to repeat myself in a way, but shut the fuck up Cameron. Nobody is trying to turn you into an Athiest, so drop the Goddamn persecution comples. Christians make up the majority when it comes to religion in the U.S., so nobodies persecuting you.   Also, have you ever noticed that these kinds of debates never teach us anything?   -New Order broke up. I would be upset, but let's face it, their last two albums were horrible, and it was pretty much about time to break up. So yeah, good for them.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Transformers movie, other things

-Happy 4th of...oh damnit, I'm late again. I was good though. I visited my family, saw fireworks, had ribs (wish I brought some home with me...) and that's about it.   Anyways, the "Transformers" movie was pretty good. Sure, it has it's flaws (the mom is really annoying, the use of Linkin Park music), but it's still a lot of fun. Great action, good acting, most of the jokes are hits, great special effects-it's all you want out of a blockbuster. Just turn your mind off, and don't go into it thinking "Oh, it's not the same as G1!"   -I saw a poster for the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie, and well, to David Cross: You are a funny man, but with this,"Scary Movie 2", and "Freakshow" (which you served as producer), I'm starting to think you need a new agent, or at least to think about the movie choices you make.   -Also, "Ratatoullie" is awesome. Next to "Grindhouse", it may be my favorite movie of the year so far.   -Borders is better than Barnes & Noble. How do I know this? Well, I go to a lot of bookstores (I read a lot) so I would know by experience.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Vince is my father

I know, it's been a while, but I've been busy.   -Anyways, in case you didn't see Raw, Vince came back, and we have another "so bad it's awesome" storyline: This time: Vince has an illegitimate child.   Hell yeah it's dumb. But it gets your attention. Remember last week, when Kurt Angle's wife left him on TNA? Of course you don't, that was boring. Vince having an illegitimate kid though, awesome. That may be his best talent: no matter how stupid (or even how bad) it is, you pay attention.   -To Hollywood: I'm concerned about the environment too, but come on, you aren't fooling anybody. Seriously, are you fuckers actually worried, or are you just acting like it because Al Gore is worried? Me thinks it's the latter.   -So, Bob Allen says he gave a black guy a blow job because he was scared? Yeah, that big, black cock really must have "intimidated" you into sucking it...   -There's going to be a movie about the Notorious B.I. G., though it won't co-stat Butters. I'm sure it will end with a bang though.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

Sole Survivor (Day 15)

15.) Sole Survivor (1983)

Plot: The only survivor of a plane crash finds herself being followed by the dead-to finish the job death planned for her.

Review: The plot may sound a lot like that of Final Destination, but that's where the similarities end. What we end up getting is an original, relatively gore free horror flick, and anunderrated zombie movie that owes more to Carnival of Souls than Zombi 2.

The most intriguing aspect of the movie is it's treatment of the zombies. These are not mindless, flesh eating hordes, or corpses brought back by a chemical leak or voodoo. These are a cruel parody of death, working for the reaper, and working with a serious purpose. They are quite creepy too, and bring forth an aura of serious dread and menace reminiscent of the dead found in underrated fare like Dead & Buried and Messiah of Evil. The acting is also strong, with Anita Skinner playing a convincing lead character.

Director Thom Eberhardt would go on to direct the more tongue and cheek apocalyptic zombie movie Night of the Comet, as well as Gross Anatomy and to a lesser extent, Captain Ron.

As it stands though, this is his best movie. It's now out on DVD thanks to Code Red (complete with linear notes by genre authority Stephen Thrower), and is worth your money. I recommend it.

Rating: 9/10 One of the best 80's horror movies you haven't seen, "Sole Survivor" is an underrated gem. Check it out.

Next Time: Night of the Sorcerers
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Gary Floyd rates the new Fall TV Line Up

Yeah, you know how we do this   Valentine (CW)-Haven't seen it. A lot of the new shows seem aimed at women.   Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network)-While I'm not a "Star Wars" fan, it's better than expected. B-   Pushing Daisies(ABC)-It's back, and I still love it. Funny, odd, and kinda cute. A   True Blood(HBO)-Finally, a TV show about Vampires that gets it right. Good acting, interesting characters, and vampires who don't hate themselves. B+   The Shield: The Final Season(FX)-Back, and still one of the best shows around. Shame it's the last season though. A+   Sons of Anarchy (FX)-Pretty good show. Ron Perlman pretty much steals the show. B+   Superjail (Adult Swim)-I love this. Frequently gory and hilarious, with an animation style that reminds me of the shows that were on MTV's "Liquid Television" and "Cartoon Sushi" B+   Gary Unmarried-No. Just no. F It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia (FX)-Still pretty funny, and I love it. B+   Do Not Disturb (ABC)-Again, no. F   Fringe (Fox)-Not bad, but not really exciting me that much so far. B   Knight Rider (NBC)-Worst show of the season? Without a doubt. F Dexter Season Three (Showtime)-I love this show. Just really well written and acted, and with very few flaws. A   Chuck Season Two (NBC)-I'm really liking it so far-it's even better than the first season. B+
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

20 Best Metal albums (2000-2008)

20.) Deathspell Omega-Fas - Ite, Maledicti, in Ignem Aeternum (2007) 19.) Caina-Mourner (2007) 18.) Weakling-Dead as Dreams (2000) 17.) The Angelic Process-Weighing Souls With Sand (2007) 16.) Amesoeurs-Ruines Humaines (2006) / Blut Aus Nord-The Work Which Transforms God (2004) (tie) 15.) Nachtmystium-Assasins: Black Meddle Pt. 1 (2008) 14.) Wolves in the Throne Room-Two Hunters (2007) 13.) Origin-Antithesis (2008) 12.) Agalloch-Ashes Against the Grain (2006) 11.) Mastodon-Blood Mountain (2006) 10.) Katatonia-Last Fair Deal Gone Down (2001) 9.) Drudkh-Autumn Aurora (2004) 8.) Nile-In Their Darkened Shrines (2002) 7.) Artcturus-The Sham Mirrors (2002) 6.) Isis-Oceanic (2002)/Opeth-Blackwater Park (tie) 5.) Sleep-Dopesmoker (2003) 4.) Jesu-Jesu (2005) 3.) Mastodon-Leviathan (2004) 2.) Agalloch-The Mantle (2002) 1.) Electric Wizard-Dopethtone (2000)
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Worst Feuds in Wrestling History, pt. 1

WWE vs. The Invasion-There's a lot of things that went wrong with this one, but for me the worst things about it were all involving Vince. It was pretty much Vince living out his victim fantasies and feeding his ego in front of the world, because you know there were times Vince thought that WCW and maybe even ECW only existed to ruin him. Plus, it tried (and of course, failed) to make Vince sympathetic, which, when you remember his Mr. McMahon character, plus macking on younger women, and many other things, that it's impossible to sympathize with both the character and the man himself.   No Limit Soldiers vs. West Texas Rednecks-This shows you how clueless WCW really was when it came to what the fans wanted in it's late days. What blows me away is that WCW really thought people still gave a shit about Master P, and that his brother or whatever was really worth signing as a wrestler.   Hogan vs. Warrior, feud #2-The Warrior in the mirror that Bischoff can't see, the homoerotic bits with Ed Leslie, Long winded promos, and one of the worst matches in Hogan's career. There really isn't anything else that can be said.   Marc Mero vs. Sable-The feud that pretty much destroyed Mero's career, and features one of my least favorite divas of all time. Say what you will about Torrie Wilson, but she's Malenko in the ring copared to the former Mrs. Mero.   ECW vs. The Network-If you ask me, one of the main reasons bringing back ECW is a bad idea is because in it's last years, it's best years (95-97) were obviously behind them. This feud IMO, is the real beginning of the end. At least Cyrus was entertaining on the mic.   Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels-A feud with no real explanation. Why was it that Vince wanted Shawn to go back to his old ways? Why do we suddenly need the kiss my ass club to return? Why are we watching this bullshit?   Triple H vs. Chris Jericho-This one pretty much destroyed Jericho's credibility, and gave birth to my annoyance of Trips. (I never really hated him.)   More to come. Also, I'll take anyones suggestions.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

One Dark Night (Day 8)

08.) One Dark Night (1983)

Plot: A sorority initiation goes horribly wrong when the body of Russian Occultist Karl "Raymar" Rhamarevich returns-as do some corpses that he controls.

Review: "One Dark Night" is a movie that is so 80's, you're surprised those annoying "I Love The 80's" shows didn't tell bad jokes about it. It's got an 80's look, everyone dresses like it's the 80's, it has a fun cast (Meg Tilly! Elizabeth G. Daily! Adam West-yes, that Adam West), and a plot that could only come out of the 80's.

The movie does have it's share of flaws. Well for starters, the fact that Raymar can cause corpses to awaken, float, and do his general bidding via telekineses is original. Thing is, it ends up being floating corpse dolls/models "attacking" their victims. While it's hilarious at first, it loses it's charm the 3rd or 4th time around. Also, Raymar isn't that frightening or interesting, though the dated optical effects accompanying him are amusing.

That's not to say that it's a disaster. In fact, I ended up enjoying it some. The direction by Tom (Friday the 13th Part 6) McLoughlin is solid lively, and the dead themselves are appropriately drippy and gross. The acting is also pretty good (again, a really fun cast), and the final scare works pretty well.

"One Dark Night" is pure 80's cheese. It might not be perfect, but it's fun, and would make a great triple feature with The Dead Pit and the underrated Sole Survivor.

Rating: Either 6.5 or 7/10. A flawed but watchable piece of 80's fluff.


Tomorrow: Das Komabrutale Duell
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Swamp Of the Ravens (Day 14)

14.) Swamp Of The Ravens (1974)

Plot: Dr. Frosta preys on Beggars and Gypsies so he can continue his work on the dead. When his girlfriend leaves him, things get pretty bad.

Review: A Spanish/American co-production, "Swamp Of the Ravens" is a good example of a meat and potatoes exploitation movie: it might not meet all the requirements, but it still has enough to count some.

The movie itself isn't that much of a zombie movie, as the doctor's failed experiments float and hang around the swamp. It's really more of a Mad Scientist movie, with plenty of evil doings and little if any zombie action. Also, there aren't many ravens in this swamp-there's a lot of buzzards though.

Still, the movie has enough sleaze and weirdness to make it watchable. This includes a little gore (including real life autopsy footage), nudity (including necrophilia-not that graphic though), a score that sounds like outtakes from a Yes album, and a weird lounge act with a ventriloquist.They sure don't make 'em like this anymore.

"Swamp Of The Ravens" is a decent time waster: it might not meet all of your hopes, but it's watchable, and has it's moments nonetheless.

Rating: As a zombie movie, 2/10, but as an old school exploitation movie, it gets 6/10.

Tomorrow: Sole Survivor.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Dead & Buried (Day 26)

26.) Dead & Buried (1981)

Plot: Sheriff Dan Gillis (James Farentino) is investigating a series of murders in the town of Potter's Bluff. So, why are these dead bodies coming back? Does Mortician (Jack Albertson, in his last performance) have something to do with it?

Review: Released by a major studio, written by Dan ("Alien", "Return of the Living Dead", "Total Recall") O'Bannon, and directed by Gary ("Raw Meat", "Poltergeist III") Sherman, "Dead & Buried" tanked in the box office, but faired better on VHS. In the 80's era of Slasher movies and Splatter flicks, it's really a lost classic.

The plot could best be described as Stephen King meets E.C. Comics with a bit of H.P. Lovecraft. The dead in the movie aren't shambling, rotting corpses, and that's what makes them so eerie and unnerving-they just seem so much like normal people. You wouldn't know hey are zombies if you saw or talked to them, but you would know that something about them isn't right. While hardly a gorefest, it still has some memorable moments, including an infamous hypodermic needle to the eye sequence.

Acting wise, Jack Albertson steals the show as Dobbs the mortician, adding a nice undercurrent of black humor, as well as a sense of pride and respect for his work-you can tell the actor is having the time of his life playing the villain for a change. The rest of the cast is great, with faces such as Melody ("Flash Gordon") Anderson and Robert Englund popping up.

"Dead & Buried" is one of my favorite 80's horror movies, and should be seen by anyone who says they love horror. Believe me, you won't regret it.

Rating: Either 9/10 One of the best Zombie movies you don't hear much about, "Dead & Buried" is an underrated gem.

Next on the Plate: Dawn Of The Mummy
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

What happened while you saw "Pineapple Express"

Well, here's what happened this week in case you've been living under a rock   -John Edwards admitted to an affair with a woman while his wife has cancer. Class act. I'm sure Newt thinks he's an amatuer though. That reminds me: what is it with politicians and ugly chicks? Why can't they take a page out of Kennedy's book and nail a hot chick? You guys are fucking politicians, you can get better pussy.   -Somebody was stabbed, killed, and decapitated on a bus in Manitoba. Westboro Baptist Church is there to tell people they are going to hell (really, I'm just apathetic towards these guys now. I've heard so much from them or about them that they are just old news), and or pals at PETA are behaving in the dignified way expected by running an add saying the guy's death is nowhere near as bad as killing an animal. Stay classy PETA.   -John McCain keeps running negative adds, alienating old fans in a way that Bill Clinton alienated old fans this year.   -Brett Farve got traded to the Jets-oh go away Brett. Seriously, go away, quit whining, quit crying, and quit being a little bitch. And for God's sake, it wouldn't kill you to shave more often. This has given ESPN even more reasons to suck as well, as if it weren't already possible.   -"Pineapple Express" is pretty awesome, though it didn't beat "The Dark Knight." Also, good to see Rosie Perez still getting work.   -R.I.P. Bernie Mac. You were the best thing about the "Ocean's" movies, and Milky is right when he says your role as "Officer Self-Hatred" in "Don't Be A Menace" is great.   -Finally:    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

2008 Music Year in Review

Best Hip Hop   6.) Why?-Alopecia 5.) Wale-The Mixtape About Nothing 4.) Flying Lotus-Los Angeles 3.) Re-Up Gang-We Got it For Cheap Vol. 3 2.) The Cool Kids-The Bake Sale EP 1.) Q-Tip-The Renaissance   Best Rock   6.) Caina-Temporary Antennae 5.) Celestial Sea-Deep Inside The Cold 4.) Spiritualized-Songs in A & E 3.) Earth-The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull 2.) Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds-Dig Lazerus! Dig! 1.) TV On the Radio-Dear Science   Best Electronic   7.) Hercules and Love Affair-Hercules and Love Affair 6.) Cut Copy-In Ghost Colors 5.) Ad.ver.sary-Bone Music 4.) Flying Lotus-Los Angeles 3.) DJ / Rupture-Uproot 2.) The Bug-London Zoo 1.) Portishead-Third   Best Metal   10.) Metallica-Death Magnetic 9.) Boris-Smile 8.) Scar Symmetry-Holographic Universe 7.) Made Out Of Babies-The Ruiner 6.) Velnias-Soverign Nocturnal 5.) Cynic-Traced in Air 4.) Darkspace-Darkspace III 3.) Gates of Slumber-Conquerer 2.) Nachtmystium-Assassins: Black Meddle Pt. 1 1.) Origin-Antithesis   Compilation of the year   Basic Channel-BCD 2 Overrated   Lil Wayne-The Carter III Krallice-Krallice Underrated   Velnias-Soverign Nocturnal Caina-Temporary Antennae Ad.ver.sary-Bone Music Celestial Sea-Deep Inside The Cold   Worst Album   Cryptopsy-The King Beneath
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Foley's Missing Ear

-It seems like Mel Gibson was caught being a drunk jackass. Oh, and he hates the Jews. I would talk about how I'm not suprised, but I'm still waiting for kkktookmybabyaway to make an offensive statement.   -I watched some show called "Little Britain" last night, and to be honest, I still don't see what all the fuss is about. It's funny the first few times, but it loses all that it is when you realize that it's basically the same jokes over and over again. Kind of like the "Astronaut Jones" skits: It was funny at first, but it soon get's repetitive.   -Also, "Moral Orel" isn't too funny either. I know it's a parody of "Davey and Goliath", but it tries so hard to be offensive, that it's just boring instead of funny. Also, the creators seem to have a real ax to grind with religion and their parents, which just adds to the tedium. Just quit trying to shock people, and try to focus on actually being funny.   -Ann Coulter claims that Bill Clinton is gay. I can confirm that this is true. Hey, I was drunk, he's famous, and one thing led to another.   -I really can't wait for "The Descent" to come out on Friday. Out of all the movies this summer, this is the one I'm waiting for the most.   That's all for now.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

The End of Spoontoaster, and Happy Thanksgiving

Words from Hotbutter Spoontoaster, directed towards me. He was banned yesterday for making retarded racist comments in a thread about Kramer being racist, and for being a troll.   I remember when he first started posting. He constantly spelled words wrong, and insulted people, saying "I'll shit the fuck up all in your face" or something like that at one point. While it was amusing at first, it got annoying, especially the phrase WE KNOW. He even insulted me, as you can see above. I personally find this amusing, and think it's the funniest insult directed towards me on the net I've seen in a long while.   Some think he was FromBeyondTheGrave or Fake Rando. It really soesn't matter, because he's gone. Will I miss him? No. His gimmick well reached experation, and it got annoying really fast. Plus, his arguments with the likes of Paul and niskie got annoying really fast. So good riddence, I say.   I do take "weird horror movie freak guy" as a complement though.   -Oh yea, and Happy Thanksgiving folks. Hope you get stuffed and don't kill any family members over the Holiday.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

Rethinking things

As I'm typing this, "The Shield" season finale is on   In case you didn't know, Inc. hates me. I mean he really hates me. He says I'm nothing. I got pissed off over this.   Bad idea.   Well now, I don't know what to do. I gave up, and decided what the hell, let him waste his time. I did nothing to him, but what can I do? Nothing. So he hates me. Whatever. I lost my cool, and it was a mistake.   I'm not that bad of a poster, am I?   Right now, I'm rethinking my role on TSM. I'm still going to post. I'm not going to quit just because a few people think I'm pathetic. That out of the way, I need to chill out. I can't just yell at someone over the internet, since that accomplishes diddly shit.   Maybe I should join the Pit. Granted, Rapemaster MikeSC and wildpegasus post there, and I'm not too wild about them. But I need to start posting somewhere beside here. I have no interest in say, DVDVR's boards. Fark? Don't like it too much. Something Awful? I'm not paying to post somewhere. Wrestlecrap? You must be fucking kidding me.   I'm I still pissed? Yes, a little. I didn't do shit to Inc, and he insults me. What's his problem. However, I'm not going to argue with him, since it's a waste of time.   I've been posting here for almost three years. I've loved it for the most part. I've met some great people and posters. I'm not going to quit just because somebody I never met in my life doesn't like me. I do need to work on some things though. I need to quit trying to be cool with everybody. Some people are assholes, but I'll just have to deal with it. The fact that I lost my cool is rather hypocritical, since I insult certain posters as well. So I should take a few punches. It was only a matter of time before someone ripped on me. I guess I had it coming.   The point of all this is that I'm trying to show some humility here. I'll go back to being the same old Gary Floyd that you love/hate/ignore. I'll go back to posting pictures that amuse some and annoy others. Don't like it? Too bad.   So there you have it. I'm sorry I lost my cool. I don't want to fight anymore. Let's just go back to sort of tolerating one another.   Oh, and Matt, I don't want to be your "nigga."
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

That's pretty gay dude

-The reason for this entry's title: "Hairspray" and "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" are in theatres. That's pretty gay.   -There's a thread in CS right now that started with something MikeSC said. I'm I really missing something over at The Pit. Last I checked, the music folder isn't too active. Also, how did Mike try to spin the Mark Foley thing?   -In case you didn't see Larry King last night, it seems like Tammy Faye Baker will be kicking the bucket soon. A shame really, as she's one of the few fundies I can think of who's tolerable, and who seems like a nice person.   -A creepy looking couple was caught having sex in public. The Couple themselves: It's never the couples who you want to see. He looks like a white trash version of David Cross.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Carnival of Souls (Day 4)

04.) Carnival of Souls (1962)

Plot: After a car accident, A woman finds herself in a strange carnival of the undead.

Review: One of the best pre Night of the Living Dead zombie movies (yes, the undead existed in movies before that-and they didn't eat human flesh either), "Carnival of Souls" is also a horror classic. Made for about $33,000, and released in drive in theaters with little fanfare, it has sense become heralded as a classic-and rightfully so.

The film itself feels like a nightmare meets a Twilight Zone episode, and the zombie make up isn't that great (again, made for $33,000), it nevertheless is a haunting gem, well acted throughout, and containing a killer climax to boot. In an interesting turn of events, the movie was more influenced by the likes of Bergman than the other drive in quickies of the time, which probably explains why it originally went ignored upon it's original relase.

If you want to see it, it's public domain, and easy to find. If you want to get it on DVD, get the Criterion Collection 2-Disc version, and while I love MST3K, avoid the version with Mike Nelson on commentary mocking it (seriously Mike, stick to ripping on bad movies.)

Verdict: 10/10 A horror classic that deserves to be seen by everyone-even those who normally don't watch horror.

Next Time: The Dead Pit.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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