9 p.m.
• My one local RIGHT-WING RADIO host had a field day with this story today.
You know who I feel for? The people that weren't deemed "qualified" for this public works job (which probably pays twice my salary) and got passed over for the "best candidate."
8:15 p.m.
• Another work story. No, I’m not going to bitch about anything. My co-worker has a near out-of-control teen step-daughter that is on the early path to crack-whoredom just like my out-of-control niece-in-law. Now my co-worker goofs of me because I treat my cats like kids. Too bad. Yeah, I know I’m a psycho, but at least I don’t dress them up in costumes for Halloween or take them to get pictures taken with Santa at the mall. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, every time he talks about his kid I then talk about the hardships of raising my three kids. Example:
Him: Beth called the wife at 11 p.m. last night and was throwing a fit because ever since she moved in with her father he hasn’t been driving her anywhere she wants to go.
Me: JJ took a poop and ran up and down the steps for five minutes like a psycho.
I've been doing this for about a week now, and so far it's Cats: 9, Kid: 0.
Oh, and speaking of my out-of-control niece-in-law, from what I hear she’s fucking 50-years-olds for crack and broke into her crack-whore mother’s apartment (paid for by the taxpayer), beat her up and stole $100. She also has two warrants out for her arrest because she doesn’t show up for court dates.
• LOL – Savage is having a field day with these anti-Iraq movies that aren’t doing so well at the box office.
8:30 p.m.
• Wow, this is just like my "One of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male," only this person did actual research and stuff. Go to the site yourself and click on the links for each story.
8:15 p.m.
• I heard this on the radio this morning.
After doing a quick rundown, I concluded that I could see the Steelers being Number 2. I thought about who would be Number 1, and I was correct (Green Bay). However, Number 3 surprised me -- Cleveland.
Cleveland?
Now I don't go to NFL games, but my guess would have been Seattle. Then again, the last time I went to a professional football game was in 1993.
7:15 p.m.
• Remember, it's not only the U.S. that has stupid laws. From a survey of Brits about dumb laws from across the Pond.
7 p.m.
• I vote in every Shittsburgh mayoral election. Problem is I vote with my feet.
You know there’s something messed up with the left-wing Post-Gazette endorses the REPUBLICAN candidate for mayor. God it’s going to be great watching the city go even further down the shitter, all the while local politicians will be blaming the evil suburbanites for everything.
• In my neck of the woods, the township commissioner candidate I voted lost thanks to a huge turnout by the other guy 437-258. I always like looking at local returns and seeing the tiny vote totals. I remember seeing some in the past where one vote decided an election.
9 p.m.
• Isn't that writer's strike supposed to stop this crap from being made?
How about showing us what happened in the voting booths when Gloria Rubenstein thought she was voting for Pat Buchanan or "Al Lieberman"? Better yet, I want to see some snarling police dogs prevent minorities from entering polling places.
7:45 p.m.
• Grocery shopping news. The personal shoppers are down until further notice. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Fuck, that means I'll have to deal with cashiers bitching about their jobs. Hey, I bitch about my job but I do it in a funny way. These people talk to each other all day asking when they're going on break/done for the day. I swear I'm going to do a "wave" or yell "yaaaaay" when this happens. It'll be just like a drinking game only without the booze -- you have to go to a state store to purchase those adult beverages. It wasn't bad tonight because our store is moving products all over the place, which makes no sense to me but a bunch of corporate idiots probably circle-jerked one night and decided this would be the best way to piss off customers and make the employees life a living hell because they would have to answer 1,000 times per shift "why are you guys moving all this stuff around?" Well anyway, there was a cute experience today when the better half and I were walking down the candy aisle and this kid was trying to get her mom to buy her something. I don't know that the kid wanted, but this was her reasoning.
"Mom please please please can I get this? It's really good. I haven't had it yet."
Oh the mind of a child.
• So I voted today. Yay. Bunch of local people -- went straight Republican or didn't vote for people I never heard of before. Oddly enough, this was the longest wait I've had ever when voting, and this was an off-year/post-mid-term election. Weird.
Speaking of local politics, this is good news.
We're not quite there yet, but it's progress.
Besides, a lot of those Democrats are conservative, which is perfectly fine -- as long as we can keep the blacks out, which is something both parties out here can agree upon.
10:30 p.m.
• So my genius supervisors finally suckered hired someone to take over for an employee that died four months ago. As I met with this chick for the first time to talk with her about a work e-mail account, among other things, the first thing she said was “they never told me what I’d be doing.” Oh this is going to work out just great. Actually, today, her fourth day on the job, she’s already called off. Assuming the idiot bosses haven’t compromised their $8/hour policy when it comes to hiring office staff, something tells me this person won’t be around much longer. What cracks me up is when a half-hearted effort was under way early this year to replace my assistant, I was only allowed to advertise in the city’s second-tier newspaper, have a bare minimum amount of words and publish the ad in the immediate city zone (the ad didn’t go out to the suburbs). According to my count, the job search for this most recent vacancy, which deals directly with my one idiot boss, has already been twice advertised in the city’s top newspaper, has a bunch more words in it (one of the lines was “must be a hard worker”) and was published in editions that went out to the suburbs (or at least to the newsstands in my neighborhood). Christ I love this place.
7:45 p.m.
• So sfaJack talked about the joys of moving, and Christ is he right. I’m all moved out. I took my shit and moved to Sappy Valley back in January of 1999 during a blizzard. A year and some change later I moved within the apartment complex the better half and I were living at. It was May of 2000 and Mrs. kkk got accepted to the University of Dayton Master’s Program. We decided it would be best if we split for the summer. I’d keep working my two jobs for a few months and she could go back home and work a few jobs she had lined up there. When August came we’d head off to glorious Middletown Ohio, and we did just that. Then there was the move back to the Shittsburgh region in August of 2003 followed by our latest move to our first home in August of 2004. The next move I make will be to either a retirement home or the grave. Well I shouldn’t say that – I’ll probably just hire movers or something. When you get older, one way you can feel your age with how terrible you feel after a move. With all this said, there are times when you should engage in a move. Believe me, sometimes assisting with a person’s move can build you up a nice line of “you owe me credit.” Here’s my example.
Mrs. kkk’s brother-in-law never really liked me. No, it wasn’t because I was an asshole or anything like that. It was just because I was banging his baby sister. Well that and I’m not a “man’s man.” I don’t hunt, drink beer, work on cars or do any of that other shit. But one thing I’m good at is being a worker bee, and when his family was moving for the third time to a house on the same street (don’t ask) I was one of only two people that showed up to assist him. After that it was like night and day – he loves me now. In fact, the better half said she couldn’t believe the seemingly instant transformation that took place. It’s a guy thing. I’m still not allowed to go hunting with him, though.
9 p.m.
• So I clicked on one of those right-wing t-shirt links by accident and came across this. Had no idea of this before creating my TSM account's subject line. Well, I'm sure there have been other people to go, "Free Mumia? I wish I could FRY MUMIA~!" before I put this witty line in my profile.
• Yeah, that AIDS just creeps up on poor women and does its thing.
• So I'm watching a bit of college football over the past year or so and figured why not make my own Top 25 list. Becaue there's no real champion because due to the fa
8:30 p.m.
• So I'm watching a bit of college football over the past year or so and figured why not make my own Top 25 list. Becaue there's no real champion because due to the fact 1-A Football doesn't have a playoff system, it makes the idiots who actually believe this is a good idea say, "THIS MAKES EVERY WEEK IN THE REGULAR SEASON LIKE A PLAYOFF GAME." With that in mind, here's my list:
kkk's Top 25
1) Ohio State
2) Kansas
3) Hawaii
4-25) Nobody, BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE IS ELIMINATED IN THE REGULAR SEASON TOURNAMENT
Boy, what an exciting way to run a sport. And for those that wonder about my insight into college football, keep in mind I had no idea Notre Dame had a 40+ year winning streak against Navy until I heard about it yesterday.
• Good Christ, the NBC channels are doing some hippie "green" promotion this week with their programs to raise "awareness" about the environment. Thank God I don't watch that much television. Well, I do, but not in the NBC family.
8 p.m.
• So I finally got around to watching Apocalypto. Spoilerz
1) The chick in the hole squirts out a kid while the pit is being flooded?
2) Hooray for whitey.
3) So there's a solar eclipse right when Mr. Jaguar is about to get sliced AND the Europeans touch ground right when he runs out on the beach. Boy, magic really does happen in Hollywood.
8 p.m.
• So I was debating on whether to go into work today. I’m still not at the busy time of the month, but this is the busy time of year for me (well, this and March) and there’s a shitload of work I still need to do. Something was telling me last night that if I didn’t take advantage of this free day then it’ll come back to haunt me. I was right. When I checked my e-mail this morning, I got a note from the idiot boss saying he wants a Tuesday meeting to discuss a whole bunch of shit I don’t have the time to do. I swear to Christ when bosses see that you are completing your work on time or (gasp!) early, that doesn’t mean you are doing a good job. That just means you don’t have enough work to do. Oh well, just means more time I get to take off during the workweek. Woo-hoo.
• But is she hot?
Looks like she could get jail time with that mug. Here’s my favorite part.
“MAY mean”? The fuck. How about “does mean.” Whatever, it’s not like it’s all that hard to sneak back in anyway. Hold on a second.
Why were the police searching for him now -- how about searching for illegals once they sneak over the border?
7:45 p.m.
• I just got done entering in this week’s first wave of kkk Bowl V picks, so now I’m inspired after looking at everyone’s selections to get mine going.
Arizona @ Tampa Bay (3.5)
Oh hell I don’t know. Is Warner playing? Uh, I’ll go with Tampa. No, Arizona. No, Tampa. Yes, Tampa.
Carolina @ Tennessee (4.5)
Titans didn’t win big last week. I’ll take the spread. Time for Carolina to under-achieve.
(1.5) Cincinnati @ Buffalo
Lemme see, go with the scrappy Bills of the underachieving Bengals? I’ll go with the Bills because they play tougher and they’re at home. Of course, by “tougher” I mean “with less talent.” Then again, I have no idea who’s on each team, so I’ll just stop now.
Denver @ Detroit (3.5)
Yeah the Broncos lost last week, but this is the Lions. The Lions.
Green Bay @ Kansas City (2.5)
Oh hell no. The Chiefs are favored? I’m taking this in a heartbeat. This of course means the Chiefs quarterback (whoever he is) will throw for 400 yards.
Jacksonville @ New Orleans (3.5)
I heard the Jags quarterback is still out, so I’ll hope the Saints will eventually break down the Jacksonville defense.
(7.5) San Diego @ Minnesota
LT v. AP – then again, both play offense so unless there’s some special teams quirk they won’t face each other.
San Francisco @ Atlanta (3.5)
Is Alex Smith playing? Dunno. Shit, I don’t want Atlanta.
(3.5) Washington @ N.Y. Jets
Here’s hoping the Redskins do better against another AFC East team. Something tells me they will.
Seattle @ Cleveland (1.5)
I know they’re 4-3, but there’s something holding me back from taking the Browns seriously.
Houston @ Oakland (3.5)
Something tells me there are some injuries on the Texans roster for the Raiders to be favored. Oh well. Go subs.
(5.5) New England @ Indianapolis
Something tells me this game is going to bite me in the ass, but I’m getting a USC/Texas vibe. Besides, if Indy wins I’ll look like a genius.
(3.5) Dallas @ Philadelphia
WTF is up with Andy Reid’s kids? Buncha screw ups.
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
Wow, that’s a big spread. I’m still having flashbacks to last season when the Ravens made the Steelers their bitch. Twice. I don’t think they’ll win, but wow, that’s a big spread. Steelers will score 27.
7:15 p.m.
• Notre Dame. LOL.
9:30 p.m.
• If this isn't a reason to call in sick Monday if you work in the big city, I don't know what is.
Actually, it's funny to watch pedestrians cross streets in cities because it's like a school of fish. Strength in numbers, and if someone gets picked off, there's a good chance it won't be you.
6:45 p.m.
• Now it's time to play "How long have you been posting at TSM?"
Quick. Your first thought.
6:30 p.m.
• This guy gets the boot but the Ninth Circus is still getting funded by taxpayers? If anything, the judge below should get a promotion. If the red diaper doper babies from the Ninth used a coin flip to determine rulings they probably would have a lesser overtuned rate.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 5: Cancer Marney
When you think about it, there are some scary-ass things in life. For example, remember the construction zone you drive through every day on the way to work/school? You know, the one with all the big machines that can crush your vehicle in an instant? There’s a good chance the guy operating that crane is the drunk cousin of a crew foreman. When you need an operation, how would you feel knowing that your surgeon was the one who cheated on his tests in order to pass them? And let’s not even talk about where the meat portion of your dinner came from and who helped put that dead flesh on your plate.
However, not everything in this world is negative. There are good people out there. Remember when those towel heads flew two airplanes into the World Trade Center? Well you probably don’t because there’s enough sheeple out there ready to elect Hitlery, but I digress. Remember when those towers were ready to crumble and New York’s finest were running into the burning buildings to rescue as many people as they could? There are people out there going after the bad guys, and this poster is one such freedom fighter. And who is Ms. Marney going after -- Arabs? Russians? Chinamen? The French? I don’t exactly know. From what I’ve read over the years, this person reads a bunch of government reports or something. But that’s not why she’s on this list. She’s on this list because she’s an evil
bitch.
And that’s why she’s my goddess, not to mention protector -- if not from Abdul flying in coach with that fuse hanging out from his shoe, then from posters from across the pond.
8 p.m.
• So that trick-or-treat thing went on last night and we had the biggest turnout EVER~! Or at least for us. Mrs. kkk got through all 27 of her gi-normous candy bags (she puts like 10 pounds of shit in these tiny candy bags – it’s quite impressive, actually), finished off the “emergency stash” and she even had to give away a 100 calorie Nutter Butter bar because we had one brat late. Bitch, those Nutter Butters are hella good.
It’s amusing to be at the kkk house on Halloween. Our “official” trick-or-treat time is from 6-8 p.m. First the better half bitches when we don’t get anyone from 6-6:10. She also looks out the front window the whole time looking for people dressed as Spiderman and monsters. Then when we finally get a group of kids she gives them their candy and kicks them out. No, “awww, look, you’re a ladybug” small talk. Just “Get yo’ mothafuckin’ food, leave it in the car, n*gga get out.” (Three points for anyone that catches that reference without the help of Google.) It’s hilarious to watch this obsession, and when I made a comment about her lack of small talk she started bitching about how kids just want to go house to house and get candy. I agree, but the smaller kids like being gushed over while dressed up as Batman. Damn, I’m speaking for the children. Subject change. Now.
During this time we had Bravo’s 100 SCARIEST MOVIE MOMENTS. Good God was this retarded. But we kept it on because there was nothing else Halloweeny on except for the Michael Myers-fest on AMC. Then, after these 100 SCARY MOMENTS there were 30 EXTRA ONES that I DVR’d so I could goof on them today. Army of Darkness was included in this one. ARMY OF DARKNESS? Look, I have this movie. I like this movie. BUT IT’S NOT SCARY! You don’t watch this film to be scared. You watch this film for stuff like “I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.”
5:45 p.m.
• So the better half asked me the question of all questions today. “How many Halloween movies did they make?” Hoo-boy. Here’s how that conversation went. You can figure out who said what. I also don’t care if I got any facts wrong.
“Well, there was the first Halloween and Halloween 2, which takes place right after the events of Halloween 1. Then there’s Halloween 3”
“*Says something about Michael Myers.*”
“No. Halloween 3 has nothing to do with Michael Myers. It deals with this place that makes these masks which turn people into killers or something.”
“That’s retarded.”
“Michael Myers comes back in Halloween 4.”
“Why is he after that little girl.”
“That’s Jamie Lee Curtis character’s kid.”
“What happened to Jamie Lee Curtis.”
“I don’t know. Probably died or something.”
“OK.”
“Then there’s Halloween 5 when Michael is still after the girl.”
“Does he get her?”
“No. He gets caught and some dude with a machine gun breaks him out of jail at the end.”
”What?
“Yeah, then there’s Halloween 6, where we learn Michael is part of some cult, or is the God of some cult, or something or other. I think he finally kills that girl, but I'm pretty sure that the girl squirted out a kid. I have no clue as to the ending.”
“Then why is Jamie Lee Curtis in that H2O one?”
“Oh, well you have to pretend Halloweens 3-6 never happened and H2O takes place some time after Halloween 2. Then after that there’s the one with Busta Rhymes and Jamie Lee Curtis getting killed.”
“Is that all of them?”
“Well, sorta. They just came out with another Halloween movie directed by Rob Zombie. I’m not sure if it’s a remake or what, but if you want to include that one we’re up to nine.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well you asked.”
And the sad thing is I really like Halloween’s theme music. Actually, when I saw Halloween 6 for the first time I was with a girl friend at Slippery Rock University in a trailer she rented for the semester. I said “girl friend” not “girlfriend.” Anyway, it was the middle of the night and as she started up the movie her Pittsburgh Penguins framed poster fell in her bedroom and made a loud “CRASH,” causing both of us to jump. After she cleaned up that mess there was this thumping sound from outside, probably from a tree branch. As she went to open the door to see what it was I yelled out “DON’T OPEN THAT DOOR!” Boy did that freak her out. Boy did she get pissed. Boy did I laugh out loud. Sad thing was, after seeing Halloween 6: The Bowel Movement of Michael Myers, that crashing poster was scarier.
9:30 p.m.
• Generally, whenever spring/summer sprouts its sunny head the bad drivers come out and cause havoc with those like me that would like nothing better to do than get to work in one piece. However, the last few days the job commute has just been crazy. Peep this:
Wednesday. Multi-car accident on the Parkway East. The overflow from motorists not wanting to engage in interstate gridlock made my commute 20 minutes longer.
Thursday. On the way along a state highway, we phoned in an accident that just took place.
Friday. Mrs. kkk told me of some BUTT-fucker that cut her off and almost ran into her.
Saturday. Some guy backed into the better half’s car. See my Saturday entry for more information.
The best was saved for last, though. We were doing some errands in this shopping center and we came to a shitty three-way intersection. The car across from us went. OK, they were first and they should go first. The car to our left then cut in. OK, a prickish move but whatever. Now it was our turn. However, the Jeep that took the place of the first car suddenly shot out in front of us and tried to turn in front of us was another story. The best part was the asshole who then yelled out to Mrs. kkk “Bitch.”
Wrong move.
I blared on the horn, got out of the car and was seconds away from getting into a full-fledged fistfight. For all the talk I do, I’m nothing more than a giant vagina. However, this pushed me over the edge. If Mrs. kkk had been in the wrong we would have taken the verbal abuse and moved on. But don’t you almost get us into an accident that was 100 percent your fault, and don’t you dare then call my wife a “bitch.” You fucking cock-sucker. I haven’t gotten into a fight in almost 20 years, and even then that scrap made South Park’s cripple fight look like the Rumble in the Jungle. I’m not sure if I would have gotten my ass kicked or even shot, but for some reason a rage just game over me and afterward Mrs. kkk said the following.
“In our ten-plus years together, I’ve never seen you like that.”
“Well, are you chalking this up to another of my ‘road rage’ fits?”
“I don’t know what to call it, although I’m rather impressed you’d act this way for me.”
After this was all said and done, the first thought I had was that I really need to get a concealed firearm because if not I have a feeling this is the way I’m going to check out. Oh, and whatever testosterone rush I displayed out in the parking lot I sapped away when our grocery bill had $62 in store and coupon savings. Hey, not only were Air Wick oil scent warmers on sale, but you also got a free holder with coupon(s).
8:30 p.m.
• Well I just had last Friday and today off, and the weird things is I don’t actually like the actual “day off.” I like the fact when I go into work tomorrow I’m facing a four-day workweek. Of course when I get to stay up late on Sunday night there isn’t a Sunday night game on. Bastards.
• Finally got around to seeing the Grudge sequel last night. I know these two movies get blasted, but I like them. It’s a shame none of the victims tried punching the ghost chick in the face or something.
• This is the third consecutive time I’ve been typing something in the computer room and JJ has taken a crap in the room’s litterbox. Goddamnit. It’s funny because this room is his “domain,” although I don’t know what he’d do if someone else tried to take it over. Each of our three have certain territories around the house. JJ’s is the computer room. Max tends to rule the spare bedroom that is also on our second floor, although the other two also hang out there every now and then – although he has claimed the bed. Dessa really doesn’t “claim” a room, but the one heating vent in the kitchen is hers.
• So the Red Sox won it all. Don’t care. I actually think it’s funny A-Rod took his share of the spotlight by saying he’s opting to become a free agent during the Sox’s time in the spotlight. I’m an A-Rod defender, even though he does some bush-league things every now and then. However, I don’t blame him for wanting to leave. You’re set for life. Go to a place that you will be happy playing for during the summer. Then again, he’ll probably go for the biggest payday. Whatever. It’s not my life. Speaking of “bush-league,” I laughed when I heard some Redskins players got pissed when the Patriots “ran up the score” by going for it on 4th down while up by 30+ points. You know the best way to counter this “disrespect”? Go after Tom Brady’s knees.
• Oh for fuck’s sake.
You know, if you can’t graduate from frickin’ HIGH SCHOOL, you’re a loser. The only exception to this is if you have 10 siblings, your parents died and you’re working five jobs to keep food on the table and the lights on. And even then you should be working toward a GED in your spare time.
1 p.m.
• Week 8's pickkks.
(3.5) Cleveland @ St. Louis
Yeah the Rams are terrible, but they have to win SOMETIME, and playing Cleveland is usually one of "those times."
Detroit @ Chicago (5.5)
I think I picked the Lions to win earlier this year, and I was right. Now it's the Bears turn with their brand-spanking new QB.
(7.5) Indianapolis @ Carolina
I dunno. Indy is good. That's all.
(10.5) N.Y. Giants @ Miami
Here's is my reasoning. When I saw some ESPN report earlier this week, the Giants talked about practicing right away. Jason Taylor of the Dolphins talked about the blow-up doll the league was using to promote this game in England. Yeah, that's my scouting report.
Oakland @ Tennessee (7.5)
Tennessee beats bad teams. Oakland isn't a good team.
(1.5) Philadelphia @ Minnesota
I dunno. The Eagles seem to be struggling, but the Vikings QB looked dismal last week. Then again, that QB isn't playing this week. Shit.
(3.5) Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
This is an odd one. The away team wins more than naught, but I have a feeling this could change in '08. Nevertheless, I'm going with the Steelers.
Buffalo @ N.Y. Jets (2.5)
The Jets? Favored? Nah.
Houston @ San Diego (3.5)
This game was off the books when I posted the spread, so I'll gladly take it.
Jacksonville @ Tampa Bay (4.5)
The AFC is a better conference. Great logic there.
(3.5) New Orleans @ San Francisco
The Saints upward march continues.
Washington @ New England (16.5)
I think the Redskins defense could keep this somewhat close, but you have to ride the Pats until they are unable to beat an opponent by 20 points. I learned my lesson earlier this season.
Green Bay @ Denver (3.5)
The AFC is a better conference. Great logic there.
6:30 p.m.
• So I get a call from the better half today.
“Someone hit the car.”
“You OK?”
“Yes.”
“Any damage?”
“There’s a dent by the front wheel side.”
“What happened.”
“Someone backed into me in this parking lot, etc. (Long story short: It was all his fault.)”
“Did you get his information?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. It didn’t look bad.”
Christ. So if there was some damage done, however unlikely it may be, we’re fucked. Yippie. Considering Mrs. kkk had this car near-totaled back in '03 due to some bitch gabbing on a cell phone ramming into her just months after she bought the vehicle new you'd think she'd be more vigilant about dealing with idiot drivers. Guess not.
10:15 p.m.
• Oh for fuck's sake. I hate these people.
OK, I'll side with them on this one issue. Having the "silence" at the start of third period is stupid. My school had it during homeroom before classes started right after the Pledge of Allegiance.
Ha. "Changed jsut a single word," that's a pretty big change.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the only thing I hate more than a Bible-thumper are these fags who get their panties in a knot over stupid shit like this. "Awkward position"? Here's how it was done at my school:
Homeroom bell rings.
Stand and do the Pledge. Something I once created a stink about. Yeah, I'm a terrorist.
The announcer guy says "Please remain standing for a short moment of silence."
*several seconds pass*
"Please be seated."
OMG THE RELIGIOUS REICH IS TAKING OVER~!
N*gga plz. During this brief moment of silence I was either nodding off because it was too early in the morning to think or I was looking at some nearby chick’s rack or backside. I’m sure there were other students that actually used this time to pray or say “what up” to their Deity of choice. Big fucking deal. Get over yourselves.
8:45 p.m.
• So today was the better half big “pizza open house” or whatever brown-nosing stunt her boss was trying to accomplish at work today. Now Mrs. kkk told me that a whole bunch of academic assholes showed up and began talking about how the U.S. tortures innocent people, starves children and all that other left-wing shit those with no experience in the real world chat about. On a side note, the better half’s co-worker asked her why I wasn’t at this event on my day off from work. Mrs. kkk’s response: If he was here he wouldn’t be asked back. Awesome. Oddly enough, if I’m at an event that’s not an informal get-together between people I know, I generally keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to ruin a host’s brouhaha. However, there are times when I will open my mouth, and this might have been one of those times. Actually, I want to meet the wife’s boss and hope she spews some of this commie shit with me because I’ll throw right back at her. What I love about pissing someone off regarding this sort of thing is that I really don’t care what their opinion is. Seriously. So what if someone you’re talking to doesn’t like the person you voted for in the last election. If you get legitimately mad over a person’s thoughts it that means you on some level take to heart what they think. That’s pathetic.
One pseudo-example of this experiences over the years has been when the topic of abortion is brought up. I mean, just because you say “murder the unborn” people get all bent out of shape. Uh, am I advocating the halting of sucking potential Social Security contributors from wombs and dumping them in the trash? No. I am simply calling a spade a spade. But yet I’ve had people go WOMEN’S REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS GWARRRR~! Yay. Here’s the point: I don’t CARE what you think. You want to advocate the killing of innocent babies – knock yourself out. What you think doesn’t matter to me. I’m more concerned about effectively wiping my browneye after taking a shit than your opinion on abortion or any other subject.
Where was I going with this? Oh, that mixer. So Mrs. kkk then made my week by telling my that her Ph.D. boss fucked up making a SALAD for this “open house.” She asked me to guess how she was able to achieve this remarkable feat. My first guess was not getting enough salad. Wrong. Mrs. kkk then said that she made it last night, and that’s when I responded “Good God she didn’t put the salad dressing on then, did she?” Yep.
How the fuck does this person make six figures? I think a great reality show would be to get a bunch of academics and for them to survive in the real world. “I’ve worked for the private sector – they expect results.”
Oh, I forgot to mention some other topics that were discussed at this workplace gathering by these Ph.D.’s was how religion was the cause of addiction and that we should live in a society where there’s no mores or rules. This was around the time Mrs. kkk left the room and went back into her office. This also would have been the time I probably would have opened my mouth, which would have resulted in mass exodus 5-10 minutes later.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 6: Black Lushus
He’s black and he’s got mad hoes. Or at least that’s what his member title once said. Actually, Mr. Lushus is from Nebraska, has legitimate children and works a full-time job, so what little street cred he had is long gone. Hell, he’s completely sold out by becoming a message board administrator over at the other place; instead of being oppressed, he’s become The Man holding others down. Then again, I guess you could claim pimpage or something if you really wanted. With all that said, there are two things that would (and should) put Black in anyone’s Top XX list. 1) Three certain words. 2) He befriended a fellow poster in real life and has allowed his young daughter around said poster. Who is this person -- someone in his 30s with a steady job and family of his own?
Not quite.
9 p.m.
• I was Googling, came across this and laughed.
8 p.m.
• So I heard this morning that the Steelers busted out their ALL-TIME TEAM or whatever it’s being called. It’s the franchise’s 75th anniversary, so naturally they’re doing gay stuff like this all season long. Time to guess who made it to this squad.
Quarterback: Terry Bradshaw.
Running Back: Jerome Bettis.
Fullback: Franco Harris.
Tight End: Trick question – the Steelers, until recently, never used them. I guess Bennie Cunningham since he never got to do anything but block while he played.
Wide Receivers: Lynn Swann, John Stallworth, Hines Ward.
Tackles: No clue.
Guards: Alan Faneca. That’s all I got.
Center: Mike Webster.
Defensive Ends: No clue. Was L.C. Greenwood a tackle or end?
Defensive Tackles: Joe Greene, Casey Hampton.
Outside Linebackers: Jack Ham, Greg Lloyd.
Middle Linebacker: Jack Lambert.
Cornerbacks: Mel Blount, Rod Woodson.
Free Safety: No clue.
Strong Safety: No clue. My guess is Donnie Shell, although I have a feeling Troy Pala-whatever will be named.
Kicker: Gary Anderson.
Punter: No clue. I’ll say Josh Miller.
Yeah, I know I named people from the 1970s, 90s and 00s – sue me. The Steelers were terrible until the ‘70s. Time to see the actual squad.
OFFENSE
Terry Bradshaw - Quarterback (1970-83).
I still find it funny that even after winning two Super Bowls, he was benched in favor of a crackhead.
Jerome Bettis - Running Back (1996-05).
Rocky Bleier - Running Back (1968, 1970-80).
OK, so they went with three “running backs.” They have to give Rocky a break since his ex-wife beat him down in the court hearings.
Franco Harris - Running Back (1972-83).
If memory serves, I thought Franco played in the fullback position. Eh, whatever.
Bennie Cunningham - Tight End (1976-85).
Elbie Nickel - Tight End (1947-57).
No clue.
John Stallworth - Wide Receiver (1974-87).
Lynn Swann - Wide Receiver (1974-82).
Hines Ward - Wide Receiver (1998-Present).
Larry Brown – Offensive Tackle (1971-84).
I forgot about this guy. Shit.
Dermontti Dawson – Center (1988-00).
I love Dawson, but I only did one player per position. The least the Steelers can do is put Mike Webster on the list since he took roids and shortened his life so black and gold fans could feel good and stuff. Wait, he took drugs as a choice. Oh well.
Alan Faneca – Guard (1998-Present).
Tunch Ilkin – Offensive Tackle (1980-92).
Interesting. I liked Tunch’s local radio show when it was on. Didn’t realize he was that good.
Jon Kolb – Offensive Tackle (1969-81).
Heard the name. That’s all I got.
Mike Webster – Center (1974-88).
DEFENSE
Joe Greene – Defensive Tackle (1969-81)
L.C. Greenwood – Defensive End (1969-81)
Ha. He was an end.
Casey Hampton – Nose Tackle (2001-Present)
Ernie Stautner – Defensive Tackle (1950-63)
Dunno.
Dwight White – Defensive End (1971-80)
OK. If they say so.
Jack Ham – Outside Linebacker (1971-82)
Jack Lambert – Middle Linebacker (1974-84)
Greg Lloyd – Outside Linebacker (1988-97)
Joey Porter – Outside Linebacker (1999-2006)
Cool. Joey got on the list.
Andy Russell – Outside Linebacker (1963, 1966-76)
I’d have him on the list if I was going with multiple players at a single position.
Mel Blount – Cornerback (1970-83)
Jack Butler – Defensive Back (1951-59)
Que?
Carnell Lake – Safety (1989-98)
Didn’t realize he was an “all-timer.”
Troy Polamalu – Safety (2003-Present)
Come on, guys. He’s only played a few seasons.
Donnie Shell – Safety (1974-87)
Rod Woodson – Cornerback (1987-96)
SPECIALISTS
Gary Anderson – Kicker (1982-94)
Bobby Walden – Punter (1968-77)
Derp.
Boo. The Steelers took the Jew route and put multiple people in certain positions.
4 p.m.
• So yesterday I talked about Mrs. kkk’s workplace a bit. Basically, she works in a study about crazy people, and the topic is stupid as hell. It’s something like trying to see if women drug addicts have more risky sex than those that don’t. Whatever. The pay is hella good, and the study will last several more years. After that, the better half can ride her boss’s teet for the next study she starts up, then the study after that. Now her boss has a Ph.D. and is still on the young side of things (40s, I think), so this will be a nice gravy train for years to come. Then again, being a Ph.D. and employed through a university, this doesn’t mean Mrs. kkk’s boss is well adjusted. For instance, she’s arranging an open house in the near future that is nothing more than a suck-up-fest for her boss and other people making more than her six-figure salary. So what did Mrs. kkk and her fellow co-worker on this study have to do today? Have a pre-planning pizza party meeting. Jesus Christ.
Oh, and on my side of things, my work monitor that’s more than 10 years old finally died. Time to go to the hippie Mac store and get a new one. Of course, the last time I was at this place I first had to get a price quote for all the shit I was to get (a new work computer and updated software), have someone from work write out a check and then go to the store and purchase the shit. Of course, the problem with this was that the dollar amount was too high and the check wasn’t accepted. I then just put everything on my credit card and got reimbursed for it, which is what I wanted to do all along because that would make the process easier. Thank God I was able to do that again this year. And thank God I was able to find a somewhat decent parking space. Christ is this part of Shittsburgh a left-wing hell hole; talk about being a pilgrim in an unholy land. Oh, yeah. I also suck at parallel parking. I think that’s a big reason many people live in the suburbs – to simply pull into a driveway/garage.
8 p.m.
• For those that don’t know, I’m taking part in Bored’s college football contest over in the sports thread. Seeing how I know jack shit about college football, I just read over his weekly list of games to pick from and just shoot off the first school that comes to my head from each match-up. This week in my batch of PM’d picks, I had the following:
Commissioning an Internet pick ‘em contest ain’t easy, folks.
• Gee, and here I thought that’s what sick days are for.
Actually, the EAN spokesperson has a point. It’s funny how white-collar jobs oftentimes have sick days, vacation days and holidays-with-pay, but some poor big-box retail clerk or fast-food worker will get shit on for calling off sick. I remember during my Burger King days I was getting ready to relax and watch an afternoon of NBA games when my one manager called and asked me to come into work. Now seeing how I closed Friday and Saturday nights, leaving at around 2 a.m. each time, I didn’t feel like coming in. Besides, that’s what happens when you people hire undependable people and they (gasp!) don’t bother to show up. Well, after I said “no thank you” I heard through the grapevine that the manager bitched about my refusal to come in afterward. Fun times.
While I’m sorta on this subject, the better half’s ex-boss bitched at her for calling off work the day after the Steelers won Super Bowl XL. She stayed up to watch the game with me and decided to use one of her numerous sick/vacation days, especially since there was no work for her planned that particular Monday anyway. Of course, this is the same boss who only worked an hour or two the day of the Steelers victory parade and left to attend that event. Then again, this bitch made Mrs. kkk’s life a living hell, but I guess in the end it all worked out because although the better half now has another crazy boss her situation is not nearly as bad as the previous workplace. (Oh but there are stories.)
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 7: Vern Gagne
When trying to think of a significant moment or two from Mr. Gagne, I can’t come up with anything. Much like sfaJack, Vern has always been one of those posters who have been just “there.” That’s not a bad thing mind you. He hates his commie state. Man, he started that thread when I was in Ohio.
Jesus Christ, was this a long time ago. Duh-Whine? Voinobitch? Ha, he said “Paul Welfare.” Those were the days. Speaking of “the days,” I take back what I said about Vern with my first sentence. How the hell did I forget this blast from the past. But why is Vern ranked so high up? Because he's the Conservative Brigade member who loads the ammo inside the tank.
8:15 p.m.
• I forgot that Foxy Brown was in jail. Wow, she's hardcore.
She's on a few songs as a guest vocalist for some of the albums in my collection, but I never cared for her. How did she get into jail again?
Going to Rikers for that? Oh well, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
6:15 p.m.
• Got this from the other place. Don't you know that not killing enough Muslims to keep gravediggers employed is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male..
The Bush economy strikes again. Boy, this really is a global economy.
• I don't go to casinos because I have better ways to flush my money down the toilet, but what exactly is a Players Club card? I ask because a homeless man has one.
10 p.m.
• I haven't seen "Casino Royale" yet, but did this really happen? If so, I hope he also wore a seat belt whenever he was in a car.
7:30 p.m.
• So this past weekend the brother-in-law had some Halloween trail set up in the woods behind his house for his kids and a number of their friends, and I was one of the people that did stuff to scare the kids. No, I didn’t tell them about the story of my life. I hid in some trees and threw these ghosts disguised as plastic bags with stuff in them. Of course the one ghosts no-sold my attempt at releasing it, but the other one that swung at an angle hit some kid in the head and had him screaming like a girl. Good. This kid has been over my brother-in-law’s house during his son’s birthday parties and stuff, and he’s a little spazz. Of course, I had no idea it was him that I hit. My instructions were to aim for the center of the herd. Then again, it wasn't as bad as the chainsaw guy not being able to start up his weapon of choice, but that's what happens when there's more empty bottles of beer out along the trail than there are actual people. Despite all these glitches, this first-ever jaunt was a success. Too bad in a few years these kids will be out back in the wilderness screwing rather than bobbing for apples. They grow up so fast.
Afterward, when all the kids left, a group of us gathered around the kitchen table and stuffed ourselves with all sorts of sugary shit. Among the plates of gummy worm chocolate cake, several kinds of puddings, chips, nachos and other junk food, there was a huge bowl of candy with real bars of Crunches and Hershey bars. Being in the mood for a Kit-Kat, I took one and ate it. On the way home the following conversation was had. Figure out who is who.
Seriously, who starts collecting candy in the middle of October and puts it as part of their Halloween stash? And these weren’t those gay “fun bars.” These were full-fledged regular-sized candy bars. And there was a HUGE bowl full of them. Christ, their teeth will be falling out if they ate all that shit. I remember one year I kept my candy supply until the new year. Not sure why. I guess maybe to prove to myself I could. *Shrug.*
11:30 p.m.
• After a bye in which I rested my tweaked hamstring, it’s onto this week's pickkks.
Arizona @ Washington (8.5)
Now Warner is hurt. Ouch. There are some franchises that seem to get all the bad breaks, and Arizona seems like one for me. However, they are also one of the worst franchises in any league, so oh well.
Atlanta @ New Orleans (8.5)
OK, the Saints had a great game last week. Will the turnaround begin here? I don’t know, but I’ll take my chances.
(3.5) Baltimore @ Buffalo
The Bills HAVE to win some time. Bah, the Ravens will win by 30.
Minnesota @ Dallas (9.5)
Well, the Vikings aren’t the Patriots. I’ll give the Cowboys a pass and hope they keep on beating teams they’re supposed to beat buy bunches of points.
(17.5) New England @ Miami
I’ve gone with the Pats this year, but oh what the hell. The Dolpins will lose by just TWO TOUCHDOWNS.
San Francisco @ N.Y. Giants (9.5)
The Giants will win, but hopefully the 49ers will try to make this a contest.
Tampa Bay @ Detroit (2.5)
Buccaneers have been doing better than I thought. The Lions are the Lions.
(1.5) Tennessee @ Houston
Hmmm, I don’t know if Vince Young will be playing this week. I wish I would pay more attention to what goes on during the week. I’m sure this won’t be decided by 1 point, so I’ll treat this as a straight up/down contest, and I’ll go with the Titans.
Kansas City @ Oakland (2.5)
Raiders have already won their quota of games for the year. I’ll hope Larry Johnson decides to show up.
N.Y. Jets @ Cincinnati (6.5)
Both teams don’t do anything for me, but I expected the Bengals to be better. For that reason, I’ll go with the Jets.
Chicago @ Philadelphia (5.5)
I have no clue how the Eagles offense will do against a Bears defense that was supposed to be good. I also have no clue if Westbrook is gong to play. I have no clue.
St. Louis @ Seattle (9.5)
The Seahawks will make the playoffs because they get to play games like this. Then again, this will probably be the week the Rams decide to be competitive.
(3.5) Pittsburgh @ Denver
I’m not sure if the Steelers will repeat their success in Denver, but I’ll go with this spread. Steelers will score 27.
(3.5) Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Indy will probably win, but the Jags always play them tough. I think.
7:45 a.m.
• I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I really don’t have a “favorite” baseball team. However, when playoff time comes I usually just pick a team or two and pull for them. If they win, yay. If they lose, whatever. It’s not up there at the level of bandwagon-jumping but rather it’s more like taking part in a “pick ‘em” contest just for the sake of watching a game and having some kind of vested interest in it. I’ve been doing this for several years now and thought I’d look back and see how my picks fared.
I pulled for the Padres in 1998 and they lost. I pulled for the Yankees in 1999 and 2000 and they won each time. I don’t necessarily pull for the Yankees because they’re the Yankees. In fact, I oftentimes can’t stand the saturated coverage of this team. However, I side with the pinstripes more times than naught because so many other people hate them. There are other teams with this polarizing attraction – Notre Dame, Dallas Cowboys, L.A. Lakers – and generally I’m in the “against” them camp (although I don’t mind the present-day Cowboys). However, the Yankees, for now, are an exception to this rule. Where was I? Oh, yeah. 2001.
I wanted Schilling to win it with the Diamondbacks in '01, and they did. In '02, I pulled for the Angles and they won, although the real reason was because I didn’t want Bonds winning a title, and I don’t like Racist Dusty. I sided with the Marlins when they beat the Cubs, then Yanks (although I was indifferent as to who won the Series – once again, I didn't want Racist Dusty anywhere near a World Series) I sided with the Yankees when they lost to the Red Sox after being up 3-0 in '04. I was indifferent in '05, although if forced to make a choice, I would have hoped for the Astros to win. Pulled for the Cardinals last year because of all the OMG THEY JUST CRACK .500 AND DIDN'T BELONG talk.
So let's see:
1998: No
1999: Yes
2000: Yes
2001: Yes
2002: Yes
2003: Yes
2004: No
2005: No
2006: Yes
This year, I decided early in the first round that the Indians would be this year's team. Could I be due for another loss?
10:30 p.m.
• More wedded bliss. From a conversation with the better half today (she took the day off work). You can figure out who is who.
“How was work?”
“It was work. How was your day.”
”Oh I had an emotional breakdown while eating my Boo Berry.”
“Uh-huh. An emotional breakdown over what?”
”I don’t know.”
“OK then.”
Oddly enough, her monthly visitor is due next week. Christ almighty I couldn’t imagine being a chick. The last time I had an emotional breakdown Barry Bonds was unable to throw out Sid Bream at the plate.
• Speaking of work, it turns out we’re hiring some chick who fits the perfect description of being an officer employee at my place. Low self-esteem, no prospects, willing to get the life sucked out of her little by little day by day. Actually, she didn’t get hired for the job we were advertising for. That job is going to go to another co-worker who is pretty much doing the job of three people (at least). Long story short, there are three of us who do our job while everyone else slacks off or are completely fucking clueless and criminal. I’m one of the three. My co-worker who is in the office next to me is the second. The person getting shifted over to a new position is the third. Turns out this newly hired person may be getting more than the $8/hour originally planned because management is telling the current employee getting shifted over that she’ll be getting a SUBSTANTIAL RAISE when reviews are done. There’s one little catch: WE DON’T HAVE REVIEWS! We get some gay-ass “cost of living” thing at the start of each year. There is no “review.” You know, sometimes you can evaluate yourself by the company you keep. However, I like to also think you can do the same thing by looking at who views you as an enemy/threat.
Another work story, sort of. My co-worker and I were talking this morning, and the subject of my animal-loving wackiness was brought up. He called me an animal-rights wacko because I was going off on some children < pets rant. I disagreed with his assessment, primarily because an animal-rights wacko thinks animals are on the same level as people. I disagree. My cats aren’t as “equal” as me. In fact, they are vastly inferior, which is why they need my protection. However, I will say that they provide more to society than many people, particularly my crack-whore sister-in-law and the out-of-control niece. For example, my three kids
1) Provide companionship.
2) Squash bugs.
3) Let us know someone is at the door because they run away and hide.
4) Serve as an alarm clock because if they don’t get fed by 5:30-6 a.m. they wake us up, or at least they wake up Mrs. kkk. This has actually kept us from being late for work a number of times.
I just named four things Dessa, JJ and Max do to earn their keep. I can’t think of one thing my two relatives mentioned above have done for the greater good. Let’s see, they:
1) Don’t work.
2) Collect welfare.
3) Use emergency services for drug overdoses that are nothing more than attempts to get attention.
4) Get free government health care for conditions caused by drug and alcohol abuse.
And if a dog/cat gets put in a shelter they only have a week to be adopted before getting the needle, but yet we have an “affordable housing crisis” for our underclass. Put the pets in the shelters and gas those living off the public dole.
8:45 p.m.
• Damn you Bush economy. And here I thought living paycheck to paycheck was supposed to be fun.
Wait, what-?
So people living paycheck to paycheck can’t afford the super market food and buy from CONVENIENCE STORES?
Speak for yourself. This week’s grocery bill went from $80 down to $50 thanks to my Jew eye. Actually, I did a little number-crunching regarding last month’s household budget. There were several expenses that were non-regular or unexpected [$400 car insurance premium, JJ’s $100 trip to the vet for his acne(!), local taxes ($100), job interview and other clothes ($300), family cookout ($100), etc.] and with this $1,000 in unexpected expenses, we still managed to be $200 in the black for the month. I went and calculated all the money we saved on food and clothes thanks to coupons and sales, and that total came to just under $600. And we didn’t buy milk or eggs at the Quickie Mart.
9:30 p.m.
• This was a rather long article, but I can sum it up with two lines.
9:15 p.m.
• So I heard this today and got the thinking...
...I wonder how many Democrat men wouldn't vote for a woman president of their political party? Or, better yet, a candidate of color?
7:30 p.m.
• Can somebody please tell me the status of Joe Torre and the Yankees? Will he be back? Have the Yankees offered him a contract? I've been watching ESPN all afternoon and they haven't said a peep. What’s the point of having cable when they don’t give you any updates on important stuff like this?
5 p.m.
• LOL.
I'm a little bummed Max Baucus signed it because to me he has seemed to be a Democrat with some common sense. And it's nice to see Junior's sig on there, too. I'm surprised Crazy Arlen didn't take part.
9 p.m.
• I’ve said before that I really don’t have a favorite MLB team. If forced to pick one from each league, I’d say that my favorite AL team would be the Angels and the NL team would be the Cardinals. However, I really don’t care. But come playoff time I generally pick a team or two and hope they do well. The odd thing was I didn’t really know which team to pick. I’d go with the Angels, but I had a feeling that they’d get beat early. I was right. I wasn’t too keen on the Rockies, because they seemed like the popular pick, so I passed. Oh what the hell, the Indians haven’t won shit in a long time. Go Tribe.
• So when Mrs. kkk bitched about yesterday’s “Book Fund” incident, she was annoyed. Today, she was pissed. She got a memo from university HQ telling all employees that they must “donate” to the United Way. Not only does the better half hold this nonprofit in high regard, but she’s pissed that the money collected would go to the United Way in Allegheny County, not the county where we reside. What did she do? She threw the memo away because when she went to fill out the online form there was no way to put $0.00 in the “donate” field. Baby, I love you. Personally, I would have donated $0.01, but what might be a better idea is to donate to some extreme right-wing cause, like saving unborn babies from being murdered, and then sending the receipts to university HQ.
Oh, yeah, she also got a human resources document about the university’s authoritive blacktion policy that said “IF YOUR RACE HAS CHANGED IN THE LAST 12 MONTHS, PLEASE INDICATED WHAT YOU ARE NOW.” I told her to put down “Eskimo.” They need representation.
• Speaking of universities, you know what I love about these institutions of so-called higher learning? The way they openly embrace points of view.
4:30 p.m.
• So the idiot boss got a call from someone he was to interview for this job in the office. Now they’re going to pay this person $8/hour, so naturally the responses to this opening have been, well, let’s say “less than overwhelming.” Anyway, this person asked the idiot what the “salary range” is. The idiot’s response? “It depends on the qualifications.” BWAHAHAHAHA~! Yeah, if she has more than 10 years experiences, she might get $8.25. Surprisingly, after that the person never came back for a second interview.
• I think I found a way to counter those people that drive around with the booming bass systems in their vehicle. Yesterday we were beside one of these people at a red light, so I cranked up the treble in our car where all you could hear was the singer’s voice. Worked out pretty well, if I do say so myself, even though my ears were ringing for a few minutes afterward.
10:15 p.m.
• Only one thing to talk about but boy it’s a doozy. This evening the better half was in the bedroom watching Golden Girls or some shit when the phone rang. The caller ID identified the call as from the university where she works. Figuring it would be her boss in the office late or the newly hired work-study for what reason or another, I picked up the phone. I should had known better when the girl said, “May I speak with Mrs. kkk?” but I figured it could be the work-study person acting all professional and shit. Guess who it was? Some college student pseudo telemarketer asking her to donate to this thing called the “Book Fund.” What is the Book Fund you ask? This fundraising drive to help students pay for the “ever-rising costs of education.” You got to be shitting me.
I never understood this logic. You take out tens of thousands of dollars in tuition and boarding fees (if you’re a dorm student), and you can’t afford to pay for your books. Are you shitting me? But kkk, it’s 2007. Books are Xpensive. Get the fuck out of here, you pathetic sniveling little bitches. Want to know what my Book Fund was? My paycheck. Get a job and quit your whining. Oh if my alma mater would call me with this kind of shit. Then again, I don’t bother to respond to any of their fundraising material I get in the mail, so I probably wouldn’t bother to pick up the phone if the ID gives the name of my school
• OK, I lied. Mrs. kkk told me about this story today and I had to read it for myself.
I think I’ve established over the years that I’m a pets > people person, but I’m actually going to side with the shelter on this one. Hey, Ellen, you didn’t follow the rules of the contract. I don’t give a shit about your boo-hooing. If anything, you should have taken the dog back to the shelter, explain the situation and do some transfer thingy to the other family. Rules are rules, even if they are stupid. If you are pitching a fit over this, imagine what will happen when Big Government takes over your health care and doesn’t allow you to see the physician of your choosing. Say, maybe we can accuse the shelter of a HATE CRIME. That’ll fix it. Oh, I’m not worried about the dog. This pooch is going to get snagged up so fast it’ll probably make your head spin. But the dog is away from its FAMILY. It’s a dog. Give it a bowl of food and an asshole to sniff and the animal will go, “Who were those people I sniffed the other day?”
