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WRECK

This morning, the morning of my final exams the SW Ohio area was blitzed with a shitload of (for me) unexpected snow and most importantly, thick sheets of ice. I caught on the radio as me and Allison (whom crashed during our finals cram session) were getting dressed that there were many reports of wrecks all throughout the area. I didn’t pay too much attention, this is what you get used to around these parts. Random weather acts, yesterday it was 68 degrees and sunny. This morning, it reached down to 12 degrees and that is where all hell broke loose. From my house to school, it’s 25 minutes with regular traffic. My first class was at 9:45. I figured traffic would be slower, so I left @ 8:30 instead. It was bad. Really bad, probably the worse I have ever seen the roads considering how little snow was really falling. I was cautious, more so then I usually would have been had Allison not been in the car with me. Allison, wanted to take the main route instead of the back road we’d usually take since it would be “safer” and it would be prophetic when I replied “That’s just more dangerous, really”.     Things were going fine, most people seemed to figure out that the roads were covered in sheets of ice. It took me 30 minutes to move 5 miles and I knew at this rate, we would be late. Allison called our professors and like many other people did, said we would be late for the exams due to the roads. (That’s Allison for you. More concerned about her schooling then I think she needs to be) Then it happened, it was inevitable and I knew it was going to happen. I saw it ahead of me and I knew I was fucked. It’s like in the movies and everything becomes slow motion and you think, life is never like that. It was. Cars moving at 10-15 MPH down main street, a jeep hopped the railroad track. This railroad track was always tricky during inclement weather. I saw the Jeep twist side ways and I counted the cars in front of me and the Jeep. Four Cars. Four Cars that were about to collide and I knew it, I had two options. Head first into the truck in front of me, swerve into an icy ditch and probably flip over or wait for the car behind me to hurl me into the other cars. In that slow motion moment, that was probably just five seconds in reality. That’s all it takes to cause the chain reaction, I grabbed Allison and I collided into that truck head first and the car behind me collided into us and sent us spinning around that railroad track into a curb embankment. 4 Cars were pinned. Metal, fiberglass, plastic left spilt onto the ice. I could see the damage to my car from where I was. The front end was completely smashed in, I knew my rear was dented as well. Allison was alright. My hand hurt. Then after that brief “what the hell just happened!?” moment of clarity sank in… Four drivers and a couple passengers stormed out their cars. Instant Blame Game. “YOU FUCKER!” “YOU HIT ME!” “WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” “IS EVERYONE OK?!” “LOOK AT THIS! FUCKING LOOK!” Then I saw a little kid, probably no more then 7 years old in the truck that I hit. I was worried for him, not my car. He was fine, shook up but fine. No one was injured on site except my hurt hand but I knew it wasn’t serious, so I never said anything. It was only a matter of seconds before the police, ambulances and paramedics came by. It had been quite a busy day for this community, 11 accidents had been reported since the ice fell in just a 5 mile radius. Ours being the most severe in size. We all managed to get our cars pushed over to a gas station. We all separated out and waited, as the air warmed up, watching the ice thaw out. In my mind, I wondered if I had spent an extra 5 minutes in the shower or if Allison had her usual pop tart, we wouldn’t have ended up in the mess. I didn’t mind the wreck, that’s life. It happens. I’m glad it was an accident and not because of faulty driving. It was out of my control. We took our statements and did the song and dance. Of the cars, I took the most damage. Figures, I had often said I wanted to get rid of that car because I hated driving it in the winter and this was exactly why. It was first car I ever brought. I drove cars in between it but I ended up back with that car. Now it’s totaled. The price to fix is far greater then the value of the car. Guess, I’m going to get that new car after-all.   The whole thing took an hour. Which felt entirely too long. I called my tow guy at work to take my car to the garage where I knew it would be stripped and junked. (At least I don’t have to pay for that) I cleared out the personal stuff. In a week, once the legal stuff is finalized, we’ll tear it down for parts. My sister happened to work a few miles down the road. She took us home, we had already notified the professors and we were cleared of taking exams. For right now, I’ll be driving my father’s old pick up until the insurance agency gets my rental situation figured out. It was first real wreck, not counting a fender bender a few years ago that wasn’t even reported. Oh, and my hand is fine now, but I’m basically going lefty right now. Give me suggestions for a new car, though. Money isn’t too much of a concern but I’m shooting stay around the $21-24,000 range. I don’t want another truck or large vehicle, however. I want performance, safety (meaning when I get in another wreck, I won’t see my car collapse as it did, fucking Japanese).   Oh, and I don't like this new and "improved" board.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

WP really annoys me

I thought about starting another thread devoted to him but decided against it. He's really on my nerves tonight with his complete inability to understand that cleaning ladies are common and his walking into my thread about my ex-girlfriend and her bf.   also, the comments in the munchie thread as well.   Anyone else getting tired of this guy? It was cute for awhile, then downright sad and now it's irritating.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Work. Just nothingness.

I’ve mentioned before about my job and my recent promotion as head of the assembly crew. If you recall, I was once just a meager worker on that crew until the company did some shuffling and assigned me as the new head of that crew. Since the crew was shuffled around, it was basically just me left standing. I hired 4 “new” (as in former laid off employees) and a couple rookie punks that work for free (part of school credit).   What we do is simply this; we design, build, customize and assemble conveyors of all sorts to various major corporations. My specific job is to assemble the conveyors @ our home site and the company we build for gives it the approval and then we dismantle weeks of work to pack it up and then my crew goes to their HQ’s, warehouses, fields and whatnot and re-assemble it. Yeah, hardly what I expected to be doing @ 20 years old when I started HS. I make good money though, so hooray.   Anyways, here is the point of the back story explaining the purpose of my job (I’m a detail whore). This morning I had a “big” meeting with some rep’s from a big name corporation (let’s say it rhymes with Mineral Metric). This was new for me, I’ve done meetings on sites but never as a direct reprehensive of my company, and even the home field advantage wasn’t helping me.   It’s no big secret why I got the gig; the boss is my father’s best friend. He had seen me as his son for years. People think that shit is an advantage…It’s not. It just means I got to work double and bust my ass harder to prove I earn my wages. Now that I’m a suit, I can make more $ and do ¼ of that work.   So I’m sitting there, bored out of my mind listening to this moron fuck babble about design changes he wanted to implement and during his diatribe, his cell phone goes off. (Fucking piece of shit). He doesn’t rush to end the very important conversation with whoever the fuck it was (his tax attorney or mistress, im guessing. Maybe a little of both). Finally, after I masquerade through a bullshit grin and false “Oh, It’s okay” sincerity, we hammer down and I basically bullshitted him into agreeing to do what I had planned to do with the job in the first place but he talked forever and walked out feeling like god thinking he turned me. Whatever, douche bag.   So I take the original and new prints (same one, but don’t let him know that) and I gather my crew up and we go over it. Here is where I get pissed, my rookie trainees were completely into the prints, asking questions and throwing out suggestions. While a couple of the older “new” guys were basically tuning me out, I get that they know this shit pretty well and have heard it all before. I was in their shoes not so long ago. I’m sure it has to suck being middle age, with wife and kids and taking orders from a punk ass 20 year old college student. Tough shit, you want to pay your mortgage? Either pay attention to me, or grovel to get your previous piece of shit job you slaved for lesser pay back.   I’m a good boss, I think. I listen, pay proper credit to the ones deserving, I haven’t fucked anyone over (yet)…So I’m not sure if this is a reaction to working for me or they just couldn’t give a shit about this job. They should be appreciative, I didn’t have to hire them. I could have loaded up with a bunch of Mexicans and got the job done dirt cheap, but I wasn’t going to account for missing drive engines, steel beams and Flex-Link chains.   This was all before lunch, and we were going to dive into that job this afternoon and to motivate them, I treated them to lunch at Applebee’s and expensed it. I left the “vets” to do the jobs, while I took the trainees out to our housing facility and showed them the previous job we had done for that company, to show them how it operates and all that jazz. They were thoroughly involved, taking notes, questions. I appreciated that, they aren’t even getting paid and they cared more about this job then the overpriced fucks I left at the shop.   The moral? It is my belief that the less $ you make, (or none at all), the harder you work.   ---   Other world stuff…   I was going to mention this in the thread about it in the LSD fourm, but I figured WP gayed it up enough.   after all that bullshit…the boyfriend was cheating on her for the last couple months. She was actually in a committed stance. Typical…BF accuses the gf of cheating, when it was really him all along.   I still would like to know the purpose of his tirade against me though. I wasn’t worried before, and I guess now it’s behind me for good now.   Before anyone makes the assumption that the ex will work her way back towards me. She isn’t going to. Besides, like I’ve said all along…I wouldn’t do it anyways. Especially now.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Winter's Freeze

It was just past one but there was an ominous breeze filtering through the white skies on Tuesday. I sat in class and every single pair of eyes looked away watching the snow start to pick up. We knew it was coming but the anticipation was building, a buzz of whispers shooting through the air with the keypad blips of txt messaging and the gentle tapping on lap tops. All focus on class had expired once the snow finally collapsed down from the tight grips of the clouds and slammed onto the waiting campus. Numbers had been thrown out but the crude measurement with a tape measure out in the parking lot as I dodged cars and a stampede of paranoia read the story. 5 ¾ inches. It was just starting, it would reach higher later that night but combine with the below freezing temperatures and icy conditions foretold a scary adventure. It wasn’t the amount of snow that was the concern; it was the icy conditions and horrible road conditions.   I had to make a decision that morning. I knew all too well that these weather conditions were coming. Two weeks ago, I finally put up that old pick up truck that I drove since my accident two months ago and brought (against my initial intentions) a 2004 Dodge Ram 1500 Hemi (a fucking machine) but instead of driving it that day, I knew my mother would be working downtown into the middle of the afternoon. Instead of letting her drive her old car that has seen better days, I gave her the keys to my brand new truck. Aren’t I a great son?   I finally found my way out through the shuffle of the parking lot. 5,500 students converging onto a one lane road all driving no faster then 15 MPH. It took approximately 35 minutes to travel 2 miles. A slightly longer wait and I made it through the town and reached the express way. The problem with this expressway was simply that it was basically a curvy hill and of course, the road crews hadn’t bothered to get to this specific area. It was coming down strong. Windshield wipers froze almost instantly. The skies fell darker in the early afternoon and the only option was instinct. A 2 lane expressway had become a 5 wide slip and slide Daytona 500 mess. No order can possibly function at these times. The urge of survival kicks in and everyone seeks their own grooves, that secret spot on the road that leads to freedom but instead just arrive to constant frustration.   Soon enough it feels monotonous. You almost adapt to moving like a snail at 20 MPH watching snow hail over your window (snow surf). Of course, there were the jackasses who felt that going faster on ice and snow was the better alternative. The world would be less shitty if these fuck-wads expired. Cars struggled to climb up the hills and I watched them in front of me, a good deal of distance away rock back and forth.   I finally got off that expressway and I felt secure in the rest of my trip home. I still had classes at another school in Middletown, but Middletown is horrendous with road crews and no class is ever worth spending an extra 2-3 hours there then I already am. I finally got home. What was usually just 20 minutes took two hours. I was already dressed to stay home and take in the falling snow but I got that phone call that I should have known was coming. I looked down and saw Allison was calling and I knew instantly what it was for. The keys were in my hands by the time I said “Hello”.   She works downtown. Normally its 25 minutes away but I knew better. Not only did I buy myself a new truck but I also brought her a car since hers was a pain to keep fixing up and wasn’t worth the time nor price. It wasn’t anything special. Just a cheap but dependable Saturn that I brought off a guy my father knew. Instead of driving down there, she took the bus because she wanted to save gas money. Usually, I’d applaud that but not in this case. I was off to go “rescue” her. Luckily for me, my mother had just arrived as I was leaving. So I wasn’t forced to fight through that in that old car again. The roads should have improved with a couple hours passed but the road crew had very little effect on the conditions. Although I hated driving in these conditions, I took a slight piece of happiness in this. It was good, if only for confirmation to know that she isn’t completely independant. It’s a fantastic trait but there’s always a time you want to feel like they need you for more then just being a fuck toy.   I arrived at the hotel well after I left the house and the night had already fell but I could see her standing by a door and I was taken aback by the sight of her breaking into a wide smile and doing that thing she does with her tongue when she smiles like that. Took us just as long to get back to my house but the trip home was probably the most, well, fun time I ever had driving 10 MPH on a icy highway with a deluge of pissed off drivers wanting to get home in time to catch American Idol or whatever crappy CBS action show was on.   I’ve always said that winter was the best time of the year and I continue to insist on that. Some think that the heat of the summer, the calmness of fall and the bloom of spring is the best and that can be understood but winter’s freeze creates this complete alternate world where somehow you become warmer against the dark cold nights. The best times of my life were always during the winter months and I’ll always associate snow for happiness. Things just feel good right now and I can hardly believe that a couple entries ago, I was pissed and bitter about life. Yeah, I know these times aren’t always here to stay and that the snow will soon melt and spring will begin.   There’s a lot of resentment around this place. People are so angry and many don’t seem to be willing to change that. Certain people are more obvious then others. I’ve been there, hell just a few weeks ago I was feeling down but there really isn’t a reason to be negative. Sure, the world sucks. Nothing changes and we’re just waiting for death but maybe you should drive in the snow every once in awhile to remember it doesn’t always have to be shitty.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Wine and knocked up girls.

Grace is doing pretty good and has adjusted to being home again and back to her usual routine despite the hindrance of the cone/funnel contraption to prevent her from tending to the wound that is still pretty deep and probably won’t fully heal for awhile.     Saturday afternoon/evening, I went with Allison to a birthday party for one of her cousins. Generally, she doesn’t care about any of her family members and wouldn’t make the effort to even attend a cousin’s 25th birthday party. However, it just so happened that this cousin is the only family member that is close with enough to actually care about their birthday. Because of my apparent requirements in my role, I had to attend this party. The dinner took place at this vineyard steak house that actually wasn’t too far from me but this was one of those places that charged $35(single) for a lousy steak and bottle of home-grown and supposedly great quality wine.   What made it even more preposterous was that you grilled the steak yourself on an enclosed patio (which sounds nice in the summer, but not with 40 degree weather). The idea was that you prepare and cook the steak to your liking. Sorry, but I’m fine with trusting the allegedly trained chefs doing the hard-work.   While I didn’t care for the price of the meal all that much and of course, I covered her as well. (I’m 95% certain, that I only landed this because I actually saved my money unlike most 20 year old college kids in addition to being handy in most situations. I figure this is what most marriages are founded on, so I imagine I have no choice but to just embrace this) I enjoyed the meal and we received a complimentary reservation from some girl (whom I believe was a friend of the guest of honor) who has a “cozy” bed and breakfast upstate and I got confirmation from others at the party that this isn’t a dump and is a rather pleasant B&B. Maybe I’m showing signs of being frugal again but I’m not getting the concept of driving 3-4 hours to spend the night in a glorified hotel with a cutesy breakfast diner. I mean, yeah, it’s just an romantic way of fucking but I don’t get the point of the effort. (The bed and breakfast, I mean). Anyways, I’m sure I’ll be dragged to this soon enough. Just shut my mouth and do what Im told.   Here’s the problem with dating someone else when it’s still young, learning all these people’s names and bothering to care about their existence. According to my father, he dated my mother forever and even years into their marriage, he never bothered to really learn everyone in her family's name and I say kudos to him in this regard but everyone is so goddamn sensitive in her family that one wrong name will upset the balance of their lives. I had uncles that called me “Junior” or “Kid” for years because they never cared to learn my actual name and I’m cool with that.   When we first started, I figured she was exaggerating how pretentious her family was but if anything, she undersold them as I’m learning along the way. I don’t like these people. Not in that “they make me nervous because I know they know that I’m banging their grand-child/niece/daughter” sense but rather a genuine dislike of them. My family, well, my parents at least (since she hasn’t met the extended family) really like her and that’s great because she adores my mother and they get along great together. I should be happy about this but if anything, I’m cautious now.   After the dinner concluded and we all made our separate ways, I said goodbye to her as she headed to work, I went down to my office to pick up some stuff that I left there and I found one of the guys in the shop doing a side job. This wasn’t a big deal, side-jobs aren’t frowned upon as long as it doesn’t interfere with business hours. He was doing some custom work to this pick up and we started chatting around and such. The owner of the truck comes in and much to my surprise, it so happens to belong to the guy that knocked up my old best friend from high school (I’m fairly sure that I mentioned this awhile back).   I kept up with her over the past few months with the occasional AIM convo but this was the first time I met the father and I only recognized him from pictures she had shown me. I introduced myself to him and he figured out who I was rather quickly.   This was awkward to say the least. He was doing the right thing and was sticking with her and helping her with the pregnancy and will be an involved father although they have no intention of remaining together. However, the girl was my best friend for years and to be honest, I loved her more then anyone else for a very long time and I still care for her, which I supposed I always will. I wanted to hate this guy for what he did, even if I knew that she was as much to fault as anyone. I couldn’t, he was a good guy and I had some measure of respect for him to least be man enough to be there. I made the promise of going to see her soon before she has the kid but it seems the timing is never right but its something I need to do, especially since it’s due pretty soon.   I finally had a duel good week in both the football pick'ems and thats good because I strive for being mediocre as possible.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

What is going on

It's been awhile since I checked in here, so here's a quasi update on my world beyond TSM.   Classes end next wednesday. Actually, I only have one exam to take as the rest of my final scores depend on projects or portfolios.   This would conclude my first year of college and I can conclude that it was a disapointing expeirence. I did fairly well academically, which was never a concern despite my alarming laziness. I spent the first semester at the main campus @ Oxford living in a house with a couple other guys. I enjoyed that although it really wasn't the Animal House thrill I expected.   Unlike alot of the kids who go to Miami, I don't have my parents throwing me $ to attend this school. It was my decision, as I am paying for school on my own, that I would move back in my house and just commute to Miami's regional school in Middletown. This is a 20 minute commute and probably for the best because academically, everything is the same.   I will continue at Miami. I had considered transfering to Kent St where my ex/best friend goes but I decided that I couldn't just follow her. I have to make my own mark. So I'll stay at Miami. I'm attending all three branches, Oxford/Middletown/Hamilton.   I got a promotion at work   For the last two years, I have worked at a plant. We design and build customized conveyor systems for all sorts of companies like Kellog's, General Electric, Honeywell Security, 3M Corp and DHL.   My job was on the parts assembly crew, and on occasions I would do field jobs. Where I would go to the company's base and build the conveyor on-site or just repair them.   The security that is involved at places like General Electric, is fucking CRAZY. I probably had to go through 100 checkpoints, had my work-truck throughly scanned and they had posted guards to watch me while I worked. I had to get clearence just to take my drill out of my box. It would normally take 2 hours to do those jobs but GE made it take 10 hours. Just fucking nuts.   Anyways, after two years of doing that...I was promoted to foreman of the assembly crew. What this means is essentially nothing except a title and a 5% raise, which I like. The idea is that most of my crew that I worked with is being moved around...supposedly getting higher jobs.   Here is the bullshit of it. I am 20 years old, the youngest and least tenured person on that crew and I got the foreman job (the former foreman left the job for personal reasons). I know why I got the job and so does everyone else. The president of the plant, is my father's best friend. That's how I got the job to begin with. Luckily, I worked my ass off enough to convince those other guys that I earn my pay. Now, this advancement isn't going to help my image. Since my crew is being split apart, I have to assemble a new crew in the next 2 weeks.   Summer time, is our busy time. I'm supposed to handle big orders from fucking Kellog's and Honeywell all summer (which means dealing with them as well) and I also gotta train 4-5 new guys.   This weekend, could be AWESOME or really, really bad   This weekend, I have plans (gasp!). On friday night, I make the short trek to Dayton to attend the RING OF HONOR show. I'll cover my expecations for this show in a later blog. Saturday morning, after a short stint at work I will drive to Athens, OH. Which is where Ohio University is located.   Readers of this blog (all 2 of you) might remember my friend Natalie, the former egomanaical virgin turned mother to be. I decided to give her a visit, since she has been going nuts (understandably so) and I figure she needs an old friend to rest her mind. I'm taking her out of Athens for the day and we're going to drive to Cleveland, and attend that night's ROH show. It is after that show, we will head to Kent St to visit my ex (and she's willing to put up with Nat for the night, despite their mutual dislike). So that'll be fun or exciting at least. It's possible I regret this. Considering who i'm spending the majority of the weekend with. The ROH shows, will be good at least.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Weekend of Honor and Speed

It’s been awhile…   This was a busy weekend for me and it started Friday night as I attended the Ring of Honor show in Dayton. As far as ROH shows go, this was fairly solid but nothing out of this world (probably will be best known for Brent Albright’s debut with the company and another fantastic edition to the Delirious/Sydal series) I covered my reactions and thoughts in the thread so I won’t bother to go over here because anyone that really cared to begin with already seen it and I’d hate to bore my loyal and bored fan base with a detailed report of a independent wrestling promotion’s live show.   I woke up Sunday morning with a slight fever which was abnormal for me to feel in the fall, while most people are rocked with sickness during the season swirl, I tend to avoid it but instead of lying in bed and taking in the football action, I was getting into my car with my girlfriend Allison to Salem, Indiana. Salem, is basically the middle of fucking nowhere with a Wal-Mart, two gas stations and the main attraction, which was where we were heading, Salem Motor Speedway.   Her uncle (Brian), whom she wasn’t particularly close to, is a part-time race car driver and she thought since I’m fairly knowledgeable on automotive nature and a slight interest in auto racing that I would enjoy spending a warm afternoon with her uncle’s pit crew. I didn’t want to go but you don’t really have a choice in the matter when she tells (forces) you. The race was scheduled to start at 1:00 and let me explain the concept of this particular race. If you follow auto racing or seen it on television, it’s nothing like that. 87 cars were entered into this race on a ½ mile track. Essentially, it was a guaranteed traffic jam at 90 mph. Her uncle, whom I had never met before had drawn the pole position (since it’d a nightmare to qualify nearly 100 cars on speed, they were slotted via random lottery drawing). Apparently, starting anywhere near the front wasn’t a good thing and especially so for her uncle as he had an admittedly piece of shit car. Her uncle had been out of the racing for nearly 3 years to this point but a couple weeks ago gotten a call from a former partner that he lost his driver and needed someone local to fill in.     He was once an accomplished driver with great success and a somewhat local celebrity and he obviously missed the action. We arrived to his pit box and by pit box, I mean section of gravel marked “88” (his #). This was an old track that had seen better days but it still packed a big crowd for this race. Most of the drivers were similar to her uncle, weekend warriors just looking for some fun but there were many serious local drivers with big money backing. This had a winner take all purse and that was part of the motivation but the main lure was the idea of tight racing for 200 laps against the high banked walls. I was introduced to him and he was a tall, long blonde haired guy with leathery skin to match his laid back disposition. I found it bewildering how someone could be so relaxed knowing that in just a few minutes, he’s going to have 85+ cars breathing down his neck at high speed.   After I met the rest of his crew which were mostly his friends, I took a seat with Allison whom was already getting met with catcalls and distant flirtations from other pit crews nearby since she had worn tight shorts and a track jacket for the breezy warm afternoon. Despite that, it was still a pretty friendly environment as you would see teams sharing tools or covering strategy (for this race, it was basically, avoid the wrecks and survive). Just moments before the race was to start, the uncle came right up and sized me up and said with an insistent tone “Hey, you’re a good built kid. My gas man is a no-show and I need a guy to load me on the stops…” and I didn’t even stop to think but I accepted. I don’t know if I did it because I actually wanted to or if I was just trying to impress him by my willingness. I got a quick crash course from his crew chief on what to do. All I had to do was carry a 50lb gas can across the designated line and pour the entire can into the tank, all in 20 seconds time.   The race started and surprisingly, we maintained our front start despite such a piss-poor car. We were clearly slower then most of the field but he was an experienced driver and managed to hold people off. I was into the race, but what really got me excited was feeling Allison standing right beside me just mere inches and a thick wall between us and the roaring cars. She could’ve dropped back and sat in the comfort of the shade with the other girlfriends and wives but she stood by me knowing that I was somewhat nervous about my task.   It wasn’t a difficult job but as the laps passed, it became increasingly obvious that when he would make his mandatory pit stop, that it would be crucial. We were shooting to just finish the race but our unexpected performance changed our plans as he had a definite top 10 car with an outside shot at victory if the chips fell in place. We got the signal he was coming in and that’s when the nerves disappeared, I went over and grabbed the tank and stood behind the line as the pit officials made sure no one stepped over until the car had made a full stop. Rolling in at 45 mph, the car slammed into the box and we rushed over and pushed by pure adrenaline, I held the can up as I heard him barking out commands “Tighten the spoiler!, New breather!” and it was all foreign to me but I remained steady feeling the weight of the can drop dramatically and without warning, the car jerked away as I managed to pull the can out in time purely on instinct. After we celebrated a fantastic stop that kept the car alive in the top ten, I went over to her as she held the empty can and she smiled with a kiss, whispered “You’re gassy” and burst out in laughter but I was concerned after realizing I had spilt fuel onto myself that would be an issue but I was assured that it was common to have spillage and it was alright. At this point, any feelings of unease from my fever this morning had vanished in the warm air.   Things kept going well and I continued having a great time feeling the breeze sweep through me as the cars marched through. A feeling of pride snuck in despite having done nothing except pour gas into a tank. 25 laps were left in the race and we sustained our hold onto a top ten finish until after avoiding them all day (and there were a lot of them) a wreck occurred right in the front of the lead pack which included us and as the car dove down to avoid contact, the right rear tire blew and we had to make an emergency pit stop.   Once again, we stood by the line waiting for his arrival and I held the can once again, it was lighter as we only needed to top it off just a touch. Another successful stop followed but we fallen out of the top ten into the faint end of the lead lap cars in 31st. With 15 laps to go after the caution cleared, we worried because the car was good at holding place but not in advancing. The laps kept ticking down and we weren’t having much luck and only moved up a small amount. We needed another caution in hopes to use our good restart ability to pick up more spots but it never came. The white flag to signify the final lap dropped down as we were virtually locked in 23rd place. As a whole this was a complete moral victory to even finish the race (87 started, 39 finished) but to know that we had a guaranteed top 10 finish and lost it because of a lousy blown tire after missing loads of wrecks didn’t sit well with us.   All in all, it was an unexpectedly good experience for the both of us. I’m still surprised at how comfortable she felt as she is an admitted snob but after I got a big stamp of approval from her uncle, we said our farewells and headed home. The ride home was interesting, even if just temporarily gave us something to look back on with fondness. Besides, after three hours standing by thunderous engines, it didn’t take much to have an interesting drive.   Remember a month ago; when I said that my art professor had an art gallery and asked me to build her a metal canvas with a whacky design? Well, I did this and she liked it a lot but decided that she changed her concept and wouldn’t be use the thing after-all but she still paid me a fairly good scrap of change. Also, after realizing with much deliberation how pointless and idiotic it was to take classes everyday, I scheduled myself for just 2 days a week next semester which will give me more time work. I will also leave my current job around Christmas time as the guy I replaced will be ready to work again. I’m not sure where I’ll go but I’m not that concerned.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

US Open. Football. Wrestling.

It’s Friday night, and I’m anti-social. It used to be that I spent Friday nights at home because I always worked Saturday mornings but here, I really don’t have any out.   I’ll address non-real life issues first   The US Open   No, really. I like tennis. I was fairly good at in high school recreation, and should have been on the main team but I was busy with Baseball and speech tournaments to devote myself to Tennis. I wasn’t physically designed for competitive tennis anyways. However, I obtain interest in the sport from time to time…   Tennis hasn’t been significant in the grand scheme of things in this country since Pete called it quits and America stopped caring about the other Williams sister while the good and better looking one started getting distracted by the prospect of being Paris Hilton’s sidekick on the red carpet.   Roddick was a failure in more ways then one. Product of hype followed by a couple years of mainstream popularity thanks to his looks and relationship with once relevant musical pop star turned Independent movie queen, Mandy Moore. He never reached that level the mainstream and tennis enthusiasts felt he could. Granted, that could change since he still has time.   Roger let’s be realistic. He’s a fantastic player, easily the best since Pete retired and might end up better then him in the end but he doesn’t sell to anyone outside the tennis world. He could end up with more grand slams than you can count but he’ll probably be met with a resounding “who?” for the remainder of his career. Obviously, that doesn’t help Tennis get back to its peak.   From a female side, none of the girls are really at that level that reached in the old days or even just 5 years ago. Maria is good looking and she isn’t an Anna (which is good for the credibility of the sport) but it’s dying to produce new superstars.   Also, he is irrelevant these days but fuck you, Marat Safin.   As for the important thing…   Andre Agassi.   On the surface, Agassi is an impressive story all in itself considering how he virtually disappeared for years while Pete became the official top dog. He kept himself in the news with his failed publicity stunt marriage but came out looking like gold by rejuvenating his career not just on the court but on the market.   He improved on that by marrying the beloved and sweet hearted Steffi Graf. It’s funny seeing her in the stands as a tennis wife, because for a brief moment you trick yourself into forgetting she was once who she is. I feel for their kids if they ever go into tennis. That’s like being the son of Michael Jordan and whatever great woman’s basketball player that exists.   This is Andre’s last stand. Obviously, the crowd is responding accordingly in the manner in which you expect people to behave in a locale known as “Flushing Meadows”. Appropriate. I can tune out the crowd once they get really ridiculous. Leena mentioned that “no one should announce retirements” and I can see the point in that but in the case of Andre, I don’t think he needed to make that official announcement. The writing was emphatically on the wall in bright flashing neon reminiscent of his old fashion style.   Putting that aside, how could you not be sucked into this? You don’t have to enjoy tennis or understand the logic of the game, Agassi is such an incredible and captivating persona that you won’t realize that you spent 4+ hours watching intently to a game you otherwise wouldn’t give a shit about.   It probably ends now and that’s for the best really. It’s a good way to go out by losing to the appointed “future” (although, that ship is sinking) and he’ll probably put up a competitive fight through sheer willpower alone. It’s better this way, instead of getting spanked by a superior talent and limping away. Andre had a phenomenal career that had so many valleys, but he leaves a gracious superstar. It’s not that commonplace in sports and it’s not so common in a sport that an entire nation forgot about, but it’ll remember for a couple more days when they watch an old broken man have his last dance.         Football (Pro and College)   I can’t really explain it, but it happens with seemingly more dramatic fanfare and pomp each late summer heading into the breach of fall. Football season approaches and there is this palpable intensity permeating throughout this country. It doesn’t matter if you are a die hard fan of the Cowboys, Miami Hurricanes or even the dregs of NCAA DIV. II…You get anxious to the point, you begin to dream, eat, sleep and breath football.   It’s beautiful and oddly enough, it never dies down. In baseball, you go through lulls. In Basketball and Hockey, it becomes a waiting game until the playoffs finally arrive. Football, on each pro and collegiate level never ceases to lose interest. College football has a built in curiosity that locks in the fans and because of the nature of the NCAA Div. 1, every game literally counts. The whole season is a virtual playoff. Of course, 95% of the entire league is pretty much automatically exempt from the thought of contending for the national title. That’s one of the few negatives about college football. This season, you got the usual suspects getting pre-season hype and attention for legitimacy in contending for the championship.   Ohio State, Texas, USC, Notre Dame (making their first trip to the upper echelon in a few years), West Virginia (the annual sexy pick), Auburn, Florida and LSU.   It’s drastically early to seriously predict the championship contenders but rest assured this regular season won’t end without the annual pointless, meaningless and fruitless debate over the supposed necessity of a playoff system and of course, the traditional BCS bashing routine. It’s the same article every season with the occasional changed team. Right now, take confidence that a minimum of two teams will cry foul about being “screwed” out of the BCS bowls, a team ranked 10-15 spots lower then those teams will obtain one of those cushy spots via the privilege of being the best of a lesser conference.   Random Championship Game Prediction Florida over Ohio State     NFL is scripted a little differently but the act usually plays out the same. The usual suspects will be legitimate threats, an unexpected team will rise from the dead to baffle the fans and pundits equally and the league will enjoy divine parity throughout the land creating a greater opportunity for increased ratings and sales revenue. This is a key season for the new commissioner, Roger Goodell (seriously, like that name doesn’t lend itself to a deluge of bad puns). While the league isn’t going to collapse with his arrival, it’s important to see how he implements his own touch and maintain the effective standing of the league.       A lot of questions were being asked locally about the status of MVP candidate and rising superstar, Carson Palmer and his recovery from the devastating injury he suffered last January. That has been defiantly answered in the eyes of fans, pundits and most importantly, Carson Palmer. He’s ready to go. His physical skills are still intact and that mental block has been lifted.   With a healthy Palmer, there’s little doubt that Cincinnati’s offense is insane and rivals the Colts in explosiveness and with a change in Indianapolis’s running game, Cincinnati is operating with a squad that remains intact from the past season with more familiarity and comfort within the system. The defense will remain a sketchy issue. The ability to capture turnovers is fantastic, but not when you allow runners to destroy you. The Bengals have looked nothing short of brilliant in the pre-season, but that’s the pre-season.   Does that make them the overall favorite? No. A questionable defense and a quarterback recovering from a serious injury creates skepticism. The favorites, across the board are the usual suspects of Indianapolis (with the window rapidly closing), Carolina (with additional offensive help in Johnson), Pittsburgh (The defending champs, minus the Bus and EL), Seattle (faced with the Madden and SB Curse simultaneously) and the perennial favorite that you can’t overlook…New England.   Miami is the sexy pick for this season, while a legitimate Wild-Card contender, I don’t buy them as SB contenders.   Don’t forget that Reggie Bush is going to rebuild the city of New Orleans with his magic feet. Don’t forget that Michael Vick is a natural athlete that you can’t contain, unless you watch all the other teams who have managed just that. Don’t forget that T.O plays for Dallas and he might have some problemswith the coaching staff. Universe outside his planet. Don’t forget that Peyton Manning can’t win the big one. Don’t forget that Larry Johnson is the ultimate fantasy player… Don’t forget that Brett Favre should have retired after-all. Don’t forget that Matt Millen is a idiot. Don’t forget that the NFL owns your soul.   Regular Season Predictions With Little Thought Implemented AFC East: New England, Miami, Buffalo and New York AFC South: Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Houston and Tennessee AFC North: Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Cleveland AFC West: Kansas City, San Diego, Denver and Oakland Wild Cards: Miami and Jacksonville   NFC East: Dallas, Philadelphia, Washington and New York NFC South: Carolina, New Orleans (yes, there is always a team like NO doing this) Atlanta, Tampa Bay NFC North: Chicago, Green Bay (really easy schedule gives them 5 wins, which might be enough for 2nd), Detroit and Minnesota (I just sense a really miserable season, again for these guys) NFC West: Seattle, St. Louis, Arizona and San Francisco Wild-Card: Philadelphia and St. Louis (I think the North is complete crap and the east will play each other, leaving St. Louis to waltz in there)   Super Bowl Pick Carolina over New England       Wrestling Raw is a joke. It’s all McMahon and all DX. It’s 1998 without everything that worked. Smackdown is still vacant in the Cincinnati area and unlikely to return for the time being. Still clearly designed as the C show and the atrocious Eddie Guerrero exploitation persists.   ECW is the only interesting thing going in WWE land and that’s only for the voyeuristic aspect of watching a train wreck. CM Punk is “shockingly” (in the eyes of jaded internet fans) getting a modest mid-card push without losing any of the values and principles that made him so endeared to the independent fan base to begin with…well, other then his standard 30 minute promos and 60 minute matches.   However, squashing nobodies isn’t what Punk deserves. However, if being a bright spot in between WWE’s second helping of Raw on Tuesday nights on Sci-Fi and avoiding being a part of the main act is all Punk is getting, it might not be a bad deal after-all.   Remember most were adamant that Punk would regret turning TNA down on the basis of no television exposure only to have TNA sign with Spike days after finalizing the deal with WWE? That Punk would be wasted and reduced to nothing, and would have thrived in TNA.   Aside from the possibility of one more match with Joe on PPV, what else would Punk obtained in TNA that he didn’t in OVW and WWE as of right now.   Punk will eventually move into actual programs and meaningful matches, in ECW already he has reached a audience twice the size that TNA reaches. In OVW, he spent a year under the mastermind of Paul Heyman as they worked to create the BEST televised wrestling show in 2005 and half of 2006. Had fantastic feuds and was the flagship for that promotion. He improved on his skills and became a tighter performer.   All working with TNA would have done is let him work ROH. Punk did EVERYTHING possible in ROH except win the Pure title. While the prospect of Punk/Kenta sounds bad-ass, the world will keep spinning.   Speaking of ROH, BJ Whitmer is a legitimate badass motherfucker. After tearing two ligaments and destroyed ankle cartilage last March, he continued working at a high level including two sadistic matches in Cage Of Death and the Barbed Wire match with Necro Butcher…he finally was forced to take surgery. The Summer of ROH was fantastic with the hot Nigel/Danielson matches, emergence of stars like Davey Richards, the CZW/ROH blow off, KENTA performances and the superb Briscoes/Aries and Strong matches. The Glory By Honor V weekend is really packed…it includes but not limited to…   9/15 Danielson Vs Aries KENTA and Marufuji Vs Briscoe Brothers Samoa Joe Vs Roderick Strong Daniels Vs Nigel McGuiness   9/16 KENTA Vs Danielson Strong and Aries Vs Kings Of Wrestling Naomichi Marufuji Vs Nigel McGuiness   SPECIAL GUEST: Bruno Sammantino   With Morishima, Yone and Sugiura in attendence both nights.   Speaking of Independent wrestling, I really need to pimp Cheerleader Melissa/Mschief for putting on a EXCELLENT Falls Count Anywhere match for the SHIMMER promotion. SHIMMER is an exceptional promotion based completely around Woman’s Wrestling.   Personal Life Shit Didn’t think I could go a whole blog without sprinkling some personal life shit, right? Actually, nothing too much to report. School has just been completely fantastic and I’m blown away by how much I’m digging this current semester. It’s not all related to academics though. Another one has come around…   To be honest, I’m sorta growing nervous about it…I haven’t really felt this way since a 18 months ago. Hard to believe it was only 18 months ago…but life sure has changed since then. I’m probably over thinking this too much. This is exactly why I said I wanted to avoid this stuff for the whole semester. I couldn’t go 2 weeks.     It’s funny that I’m stressing about the start of something that might be nothing while in just 7 days, my sister will be married. Next Thursday is the bachelor party. It’s a all day thing of Golf, Reds Game and Strip Club appearance. I don’t get the concept of bachelor party, okay, I do but I think it’s dumb. I don’t need an excuse to see someone dance naked in front of me, that sort of thing loses its appeal (in this context) after the first time. I don’t drink either, so the entire purpose is lost on me but I guess I have to partake because it’s only proper or something, according to my sister.   Jesus, this was really long. Im that bored…that’s enough for now.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Untitled

So, here it is. It's monday afternoon and I am currently in the cpu lab at school, waiting for my late-start class that I added (for easy credits), the class doesn't begin until 5:30 and it's over at 8:25. My last class ended at 11:50. That left me with quite a bit of time to waste.   The problem is? I'm a commuter regional branch campus, there's nothing to do here. We have a tiny little lounge area in the main building and this cpu lab. Not even a cafeteria or anything (that's because they are adding a giant wing to the main building and that closed the regular lounge and cafeteria for the time being). It's in Middletown, a town that KKK is well-versed with. He can testify that it's basically a dead town.   There's ample dining locales, but not much in the way of entertainment. The local mall is basically reduced to a JCPennys and some other department store. The local movie theater doesn't run in the afternoon during the week and it's a dump anyways. There's a bowling alley but who goes there on Monday afternoons?   I can't go home, because that's a 35 mile drive thats unneccesary because I would have to drive back here for that class anyways. Most of my friends, don't go to this school. When you attend a commuter school, you don't get much social exercise.   I have no work to do, I actually managed to accomplish that already. I already ate a quick lunch at a local chinese buffet (which I will regret in about an hour). I just sit here, listening to random music, surf random websites including this message board...   This past weekend, wasn't that great. Sure, basketball was interesting but it really doesn't mean anything.   I'm profoundly bored. My on again, off-again girlfriend/best friend is coming home 2moro morning for Spring Break, so hopefully that'll perk me up for the time being.   There was really no point to this whole thing.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

TV Show List

I'm bored and I felt like making a list...so here is my top 20 favorite TV shows list (past and present)   20. TITUS 19. NYPD Blue 18. Dead Like Me 17. Curb Your Enthusiasm 16. Boy Meets World 15. Veronica Mars 14. Deadwood 13. Law and Order 12. One Tree Hill 11. Six Feet Under   and the top ten are...   10   9   8   7   6   5   4   3   2   1    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Turkey Day. Fat Black Girl. Fake Tree

Thanksgiving went smoothly on all accounts. Wednesday night was a intimate little dinner that allowed for better conversation along with the quality meal that my mother always cooks up. The only bump in the night was trying to hold down my girl’s stuffing. She claimed to have never cooked before in her life, other then baking cookies and I believed her after taking my first bite of that concoction. I learned quickly that if things progress further for us and once we live together in a few months, she’s going to require cooking lessons from my mother or the wallet is taking a pounding because I can only grill, but I’m good at it though.   Thursday afternoon, I had lunch with dad’s family and like I said, it’s always boringly predictable but since it’s drama-free and pleasant enough, I don’t mind it. The food isn’t that great since it’s cooked by my two aunts whom aren’t culinary experts. The only saving grace are the pies and I’m not much for pie, unless it’s Pumpkin Pie from Frisch’s. (I’m not sure if that’s a local thing or not). After boring repetitive mingling with the various family members, I snuck out a little early and headed home to change because of my punk ass little cousin still learning how to pour himself a glass of punch spilled all over my black and white track jacket that I just brought the day before. I’m learning that Orange punch isn’t easy to get out. So, I went to the girl’s family thanksgiving dinner and like always, I feel more welcomed into any of my girlfriend’s family then I think I should. I guess it’s my warm nature that endears me to them. With a larger crowd of virtual strangers, I had to be on my A game.   She has a cousin that she’s fairly close to and she had brought her bf along as well but he was a complete nervous wreck and got himself into one way dead end conversations and I felt sorry for him because one on one, he’s an alright enough guy, if not a boring personality though. I decided to help him out and loosen him up and it seems to do the trick as he finally warmed up and the rest of family seemed more responsive to him then they were initially.   Naturally, this scored me major points even if that wasn’t my intention. I was just trying to help a poor guy out in a situation that I could feel empathy for.   On Friday, a lot of idiots went out shopping in a mad rush for discount sale products. Usually, they aren’t worth the trouble unless you’re needy for a video game system that isn’t remotely worth the gaudy price tag. DVD’s aren’t ever really marked down enough for me to justify the madness. I can buy the EXACT same DVD’s for roughly the same price at most independent distribution centers around here. Fuck Best Buy, Fuck Circuit City. Charging me regularly $25 for something that I can get for $10 dollars across the street. Fuck, I could go to a flea market and buy TEN “new” DVD’s for that price.   I was asleep. Allison, wasn’t. As much as I protested, she insisted on going through that insanity with her girlfriends not because of any particular sale but rather because she enjoys the scene of Black Friday Chaos. I’m a sadistic person but even I can’t derive pleasure out of seeing soccer mom’s bury elbows into each other for a $50 TV. It’s a fight without honor and I’d lose.   Luckily, she survived without wounds but she did have a big verbal confrontation with some big fat black “cunt” (in her words) who demanded she (Allison) give up her parking spot right smack in front of the store because she drives “a tiny ass car” and that spot should be had by someone getting big objects and driving a pick up truck instead.   Just the kind of girl that I would go for, she turned back around and went to the car and sat on the hood with a girlfriend and opened up her phone and starting playing Tetris sending the other lady into a frenzy and storming out of the parking lot. I felt slightly guilty as she even brought me a few DVD’s just cause she knew I didn’t have those particular dvds, including the Roddy Piper DVD even though she hates wrestling.     Meanwhile, since I had the house to myself and my mother, we decided to set up the house for Christmas. It was sort of bittersweet setting the house up since in the back of your mind, I'm thinking that it’ll be the last Christmas in a house that I grew up in. Traditionally, we always had a live tree but with the rising cost of natural trees and the money tightening right now from them, they went and got a fake tree instead.   I can’t stand it. I’m a traditionalist and I can’t buy into a fake tree, even if it’s just a symbol. This is the first and only time we have done the fake tree routine and if I can manage, I’ll make sure my future kids will never know the horror of a fake Christmas tree.   While she did the interior work, I was doing the outside light display work, which I had fine tuned to perfection over the years. We used to be extravagant but we settled back and with classical and boring white lights.   However, If you have ever seen that Budweiser commercial with the house with the crazy light display? I live right by that particular house, so it’s not even worth the effort competitively as it used to be in having the best light display.   On Sunday, I’ll actually order the WWE Survivor Series PPV. I know buying anything from WWE unless it’s one of their DVD’s is always a crapshoot but I’m not hurting for $ and I was always a mark for the traditional 5 on 5 format anyways. The problem with buying a WWE ppv is that the price tag is ridiculous and you could buy 2-4 DVD’s from ROH/NOAH and be assured of a quality wrestling show but a part of the “fun” with a WWE show is not knowing which WWE will come out that night.   Is there a classic match on the card? Nothing really, except maybe the DX/RKO match that is loaded with some very good talent that should be done well in a long match and the First Blood match stands to be a good-decent brawl.   That being said, I alluded in previous threads about what was the 2006 MOTY and had insisted it was Danielson/McGuinness from Unified but I have to change it. Danielson/Kenta was beyond this world.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Turkey Day Blog Extravaganza

We have a lot of holidays in this country. Most are ignored unless its one of those special ones that grants us the day off work or school. I am particularly fond of Christmas for a variety of reasons. Thanksgiving, however? Never have seen the purpose for it nor cared much. In this day and age, the purpose of thanksgiving seems meaningless as we’re all self consumed with bloating ourselves to such ridiculous waist lines or dieting down to extreme lows. Which further reduces this holiday from being a celebration feast of togetherness that it was once supposedly according to ancient history books.   Basically, all it really is now is a forced gathering of family members often against their will in the efforts to keep up with the pretense of a outdated tradition. I know there’s some people out there who have no problem with the idea of seeing distant family members across the table and perhaps, even anticipate it. I happen to live fairly close to all my relatives, which I greatly appreciate because it prevents me from having to travel much distance for these forced family gatherings but of course, I dread this because it forces more opportunities to occur.   My thanksgiving schedule is fairly simple. Dinner on Wednesday night with my intermediate family that breaks down into a routine dinner and ends with whatever movie we randomly select. Thursday, I head down to my aunt’s not to far from here and have a brief lunch with my father’s family, which are full of bored, uninteresting and thusly, pleasant people. You know what you’re getting with them (food, same old conversation and boredom).   Usually, I would follow that up by heading literally down the street to my mother’s family but traditions have changed for me as I will be going to Allison’s family at her parent’s house. She’s coming on Wednesday night, so at least we’re both doing the whole family thing but she gets the intermediate family, that’s only 8 people. I’m getting over 30 people that I hardly know or ever met at all. I still think this is moving way to fast. We’re just leapfrogging levels that I never knew existed. Usually, I have to control a relationship, or the relationship is never balanced because one is too dependant but this one is completely different.   We’re equal in this, either needs the other. We each work a lot but don’t use that as an excuse. I’m still not quite sure how I made this work. I’m a fairly alright looking guy, I’ve probably done far greater with girls then I ever had the right to. I don’t believe in the idiotic concept of “levels” in regards to peoples standing with others. That being said, there is some merit to the fact that some people are just too good for someone else. In looks, social standing, money or whatever. In this case, probably all of it. She’s beautiful, I’m cute at best. She’s popular with loads of friends, while I’m a complete introvert who doesn’t trust people. She’s a trust fund baby, I’ve been working on my own for the past few years. That aside, we clicked instantly and for whatever differences we have, it works.   This Thursday is the debut of the NFL Network airing their first live telecast of a game. It’ll be between Kansas City and Denver. Earlier that day, Miami/Detroit and Dallas/Tampa. Yeah, the only remotely interesting game is the NFL network game. I wouldn’t mind watching that game. However, I won’t because TW refuses to broker a deal with the NFL Network.   Time Warner provides a good overall service for me with their package but they have annoying practices. They literally waited until the day before the launch of the new CW network to even cave in and stick them onto a triple digit channel for a couple months before complaints grew about morons not finding the channel, so they kicked one of the many public broadcasting stations to the side.   TW doesn’t appear to be budging at all and the local community is growing angry about this as this means we won’t get Bengals coverage (whom play on this network). Its bullshit from both sides of the table. Oh, the big deal right now is the Kramer story. Why? He threw the N word. Can you really be surprised? He has to walk around for the rest of his life being called “Kramer”. Now, he can just be known as “that racist fucking Jew”.   Funny, how the one main character on that show that managed to have any post Seinfeld career was the least interesting one. Seinfeld has basically gone around doing the occasional tour with insane ticket prices but generally staying out of the limelight. He’s a genius. George had about 10 failed sitcom attempts since then. Kramer had one as well that I don’t think lasted beyond 2 episodes and now he’s forever known for that tirade.   It’s all a desperate ploy anyways and we all brought it. His ticket sales will skyrocket. Maybe it’s a new crowd demographic but money’s money baby.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The Wedding.

The Wedding.   No long story here. It was fantastic in every since of the word. My sister looked superbly radiant, the ceremony was tremendous and even had a dose of comedic relief from the ring-bearer having a brief tug-o-war with the buttons on his pillow. The whole thing was great from pre-wedding pictures, (which was an event of its own), to the antics in the groom's room involving all sorts of hilarious moments that would only be funny for those involved in the moment.   Like I said in the bachelor party entry, I wasn't actively looking for anything other then having a good time socializing with my family but that didn't exactly happen.   Last night and for most of the pre-wedding stuff, me and my sister's maid of honor were constantly flirting and having a great time together. It's weird that I had never actually met her before despite being my sister's best friend for the last 3 years.   So, of course, she has a boyfriend, whom was completely late for the wedding and half the reception. My sister, was almost glowing seeing me and her best friend getting along so well. She's pretty cute with a great personality. After the boyfriend showed up, I left her alone and continued having a upstanding time with the family and meeting new people. However, before she left, she gave me a hug with an extended period of time and of course, the subtle kiss followed with the slight of hand number exchange in my pocket. So, a pretty cute girl who already makes good money (assistant director at some marketing company), already close with the family and a fantastic personality to boot? I could do worse.   I was afraid I would be "down" about this whole event, starting to get depressed about my confusing love life but I had a complete blast. Weddings just never suck. The only negative was that my father's family were barely there. Some didn't even bother making the 30 minute drive and those that did, stuck around for the ceremony and maybe a quick bite at the dessert bar. Since there wasn't an open bar, they had no reason to stick around apparently.     So, a pretty fun three days for me and it gets better with the first full day of the NFL in just a few hours....I haven't slept in nearly 48 hours and my feet are basically gone, so I should hopefully crash soon.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The Office sucks and NFL picks.

Notes -I really don’t have anything in particular to “ramble” about.   My newfound relationship is going smoothly enough. Luckily, she has work tonight and most of tomorrow which means I can get some sleep as Im feeling really groggy or I can catch up on the recent ROH dvd’s I got the other day. On Sunday, we’re going to the art museum for a class project we’re doing together.   I started my new job at the auto-shop this afternoon, it’s Friday which means they actually don’t work much. I like that. I just set up my office, which is half the size of my previous office and it’s basically a desk, chair and a couple file cabinets. My old office had a TV, Fridge and plenty of pacing space. This office is right in the shop, so any hopes of closing the blinds and taking a, um “nap” is eliminated. I’ll get used to it. I also realized how disorganized the owner is.   The owner, took over for his brother who apparently has some health issues to take care of. The problem is, since he took over, he couldn’t keep track of the paperwork and when he did, he misplaced them. That’s my job. This allows him to just work in the shop. I already instituted a system that a monkey could follow, so my job shouldn’t be that hard.   My mother had her surgery this morning and is already home and despite being wiped out with painkillers, it went well and she’ll be fine. That’s good. This makes me the only member of my immediate family who hasn’t had some form of surgery in this calendar year. This, of course, means I just jinxed myself.   Since I did modestly well last week doing this, I’ll give more NFL Picks. This is spread-free. Which is why my picks will alter here from my picks in KKK’s deal.     Arizona @ Atlanta -Atlanta is coming off a really embarrassing lost to New Orleans. Losing to a emotionally charged Saints isn’t embarrassing but their performance was. Arizona has the quarterback controversy they were expected to have already and it’s a guessing game to say who will actually start as they have already flip-flopped but it appears that Warner is still at the helm, for the time being. Doesn’t matter, Arizona has a lot of problems and Atlanta will be motivated here.   Arizona 14 Atlanta 27   Dallas @ Tennessee -Tennessee has similar issues as Arizona regarding their veteran and rookie QB. The problem for Tennessee is that they have no real targets offensively.   As for Dallas? What issues do they have? Well, just a statute for a QB and a WR that can’t keep himself out of the news even when he wasn’t trying. That being said, whatever Owens status will be for the game, Dallas should manage the hapless Titans   Dallas 27 Tennessee 13   Indianapolis @ New York -The Jets are making a good case for a 2nd place, 6-10/7-9 record season, which would be an upgrade from the preseason expectations but this is a game that should give Manning a chance to shake a bad performance last week.   Indianapolis 38 New York 20   Miami @ Houston -Miami, really isn’t good. SI lied. Houston, is Houston. Pick your poison.   Miami 9 Houston 16   Minnesota @ Buffalo -Minnesota hung tough against a very good Chicago team while Buffalo let a good opportunity slip through their hands last weekend. I like Minnesota here.   Minnesota 24 Buffalo 6   New Orleans @ Carolina -New Orleans is coming off a seriously emotional win that they needed to provide the city with. Carolina has STEVE SMITH! STEVE SMITH! STEVE SMITH! Back and that is a crucial element. I think New Orleans is for real but I still think Carolina has this one. I think it’ll be a fantastic game here.   New Orleans 17 Carolina 21   San Diego @ Baltimore -This could be a big litmus test for both teams as each team collides with a legitimate team for once. I think the combination of San Diego’s potent offense and very good defense can overcome Baltimore’s great defense and vastly over hyped offense.   San Diego 16 Baltimore 7   San Francisco @ Kansas City -KC has looked bad but San Francisco is San Francisco.   Kansas City 42 San Francisco 13   Detroit @ St. Louis -I’m almost tempted to take Detroit. However, I’ll be conservative and pick St. Louis.   Detroit 13 St. Louis 21   Cleveland @ Oakland -A horrible game that should be completely ugly or insanely awesome in it’s suck.   Cleveland 10 Oakland 6   Jacksonville @ Washington -A very smash mouth game here. It could swing either way.   Jacksonville 14 Washington 10   New England @ Cincinnati -Cincinnati is clicking on all cylinders. New England looks lost out there and most teams are starting to figure them out. That being said, New England could be a trap game as they are coming off a headache with Thurman, looking forward to the bye week that’s followed by a MURDEROUS stretch of games and NE, apparently hasn’t lost consecutive games in over 55+ games, or something. I think Cincinnati still has it.   New England 13 Cincinnati 21   Seattle @ Chicago -This is a very important game. Chicago struggled against a good team in Minnesota, now they got a more loaded team. The defense of Chicago should have no problem confusing Hasselback. I’ll take a close game here. Probably a FG game.   Seattle 13 Chicago 17   Green Bay @ Philadelphia -I’d like to think Green Bay gained some momentum but I think Philly still holds a moderate edge on Green Bay but Favre usually shines on MNF. I think he’ll have a fantastic game but the special teams will hurt Green Bay   Green Bay 27 Philadelphia 35

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The frayed remains...

The frayed remains of a lost friendship   Last night, I was doing more of the usual (tsm’ing, watching AI and doing some school-work). I got a phone call around 9:30 from my old friend, Natalie. Let me explain this girl to you, she’s the ultimate attention needing, steal all the spotlight person. She’s incredibly beautiful as well, which only fuels her selfish and vain propensity.   We became friends, I believe my senior year. She was a junior, and we met through normal circumstances. I was a part of the speech team at school (pretty good at it as well). I had been asked to go to the monthly drama club meeting and infiltrate and recruit. I did a good job and that was how I met her. For 3 years, we were pretty good friends. Best friends, at times. Then she finally graduated high school and promptly moved away to Ohio University. It was over last summer; while we weren’t really talking to each other that I became very close friends with her former best friend (imagine the usual teen-age drama bullshit and that is your explanation for their hatred towards each other).   So, she finally finds out about my relationship with that girl and this greatly pisses her off. I argued that, “why do you care? You left the last 3 months and left me standing here in the doorway, crying” (in regards to my break-up, which I described in an early entry) and that the other girl was actually there for support and that I consider her not just my lover(not at this moment) but my best friend. So, Natalie decides to call me a traitor. Which was hilarious, to say the least when she actually celebrated that my girlfriend had cheated on me (she has always hated my gf’s because I would give them my attention and not her).   Anyways, we drifted away from each other. Reduced to aim convo once every three weeks and I was hardly missing her.   On Sunday morning she imed me and told me that she got drunk and her friend fucked her and now she thinks she’s pregnant.   Let me, point out the irony here. Through the course of our friendship, she constantly praised the importance of abstinence and often condemned me for having sexual relationships. So, for her to piss that away because she got drunk was fittingly perfect.   Anyways, I had other stuff to worry about (things I can’t even begin to explain to a bunch of relatively speaking, strangers). I told her “don’t panic, you probably aren’t pregnant”. So last night, she im’s me again bitching about how she thinks she’s pregnant and I go “There’s nothing I can do about it. You did it, that’s why you shouldn’t have sex if you aren’t mature enough to handle the potential consequences”.   She went off on a long rant about how I’m a jerk and how I’m selfish and stuff like this. I explained to her, what was going on with my life and how monumental it is (it involves a family member) and she straight out said “I don’t give a fuck about that. You have any idea how big this thing is here? Do you?”.   I responded “you are insane” and she goes on another rant about how she hates me and that I haven’t been there for her. Funny, I seem to recall her leaving right away without even a goodbye.   The point of this is…   Where the fuck did my friends go? I never had a huge group of friends but I had my own little circle and we were really close. 2 years removed from HS and I probably only keep in real good touch with one person. I keep in better touch with my ex’s, even the one who betrayed me then I do with my actual “friends”. I always heard from my parents that you won’t always be friends with them, but I figured it’d last at least through college. It’s just another depressing aspect of growing up, I suppose.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The Date and a New Job.

New Job. New Girl.   I knew that I couldn’t let myself be stagnate for too long and I managed to avoid getting trapped in a rhythm of idleness.   The New Job   I was getting bored with just school-work because after that was concluded or just ignored, that left me with nothing to do. Which leads me to wasting time doing nothing, such as being at TSM, for instance.   I got in touch with an old co-worker of mine that left a few months ago, back when I was still working on the floor. After a few minutes of bullshitting, he dropped a mention that he was running his brother’s car repair shop. He needed someone to run the office since he was more mechanically inclined then running a business. Since I have experience in office work and I’m more then capable of car repairs, It seems like an comfortable fit for me for the time being.   I start next Friday. It should be good, It’s close to school and I’ll only be working there 25 hours a week, so that’s nothing and the pay (decent) isn’t a concern right now. I just needed to be in some working environment and I know the people there, so it should be a good deal.   I intend for this to be short-term. -   Getting the Girl.   Over the past couple weeks, I have made references to a particular dilemma. That being the process of moving into a new relationship.   The issue was that, I had one girl that I wanted. There was another girl that showed a great deal of interest in me. The latter, wasn’t bad. Usually, I would have gone for it despite her status with another guy and especially with her already knowing my family.   The problem was the other girl.   I just had a relationship over the summer that was involved with someone who knew my family well and it obviously didn’t work out as greatly as I had hoped…but the more important reasoning for me not directly making my move for the girl who made it rather clear about her intentions was simply because I had to get the other girl.   It started about 3 ½ weeks ago, it’s the classic story. She was in my class and across the room. Our eyes met and from there, it was intense. After a few days of nothing but mere eye contact, I finally went to her in the parking lot. This begun a routine of casual conversation and flirtation…   Friday morning, in an ugly, rainy morning, She (Allison) pulled up next to me in her car and she waved at me as I was getting out. She looked fantastic. She’s tall, for a girl at least. (5’9) with very slender toned body and really fantastic blue eyes. She stepped out wearing a pair of light blue track pants and a blue half zipped track jacket with nothing underneath. We talked as we headed to class, which was an exam day, this gave us a ice-breaker for the 10 minute walk.   During the exam, she looked across to me and whispered “Let’s get out of here”. So, we rushed through the rest of the exam and left together. We talked a little more and as we got back to our cars (that was our only class that day), I pulled her in a little and finally drop the obvious question…   As rain began to douse us, I took a quick look into her eyes, and I grinned.   “So, tomorrow night? I hope you don’t have any plans because I have every intention of taking you out. So, what are your plans now?” I asked with more confidence then ever before in my life as I watched her bite her lower lip and she raised her eyebrows and smiled with this slight chuckle “Finally” she laughed “What does that mean?” I continued to play along “It took you awhile, I was getting worried but yeah, tomorrow night sounds great.”   My heart bloomed at the sound of her acceptance   “Cool, I’ll pick you up ’bout 8?” “Great” she smiled once again as she slipped back into her car and I watched her drive off.   The Date   She lived in Oxford (Miami’s campus) and I went to her apartment and I was introduced and inspected by her room-mates. I hate room-mates, because it forces you to work around with them as well but I didn’t have much problem with those 2 girls. She came out looking magnificent in a captivating black and white dress. We went to this restaurant in my hometown, it’s a **** joint, which meant of course, higher priced meal.   I didn’t take her to impress her with a higher priced restaurant but because the building was once the City Building. My mother worked there as an secretary for the Mayor before I was born. My old house, where I came up was ½ mile from the restaurant. I wanted her to get a full idea of who I am and where I came up at. It just happened that I threw in a really good dinner.   Everything went right, the dinner was fantastic and we were really clicking. So many things we had in common but not so much that it was like dating a mirror image. She’s very intelligent and sweet but has a slight coldness to her (combined with her height and body frame, it almost reminded me of TSM’s own, Leena! Scary, I know). We took a walk around town to show her my old house, my old playground and all the crazy shit I did here. I could tell she really enjoyed it.   So there it was, a light drizzle but we didn’t care as we headed to that old playground and we climbed up the tiny step ladder and took a seat on top of the monkey bars and looked out at the empty field and the moon right in front of us. We took each other’s hands and just sat in silence for about 20 minutes when the rain started picking up. We ran back, laughing to my car which was still at the restaurant. I thought of taking her back to my house but I figured that was jumping too quick. We went back to Oxford and I took her right to her apartment door. Then, it was that always scary but so fulfilling moment when we just leaned up against the door and took each other hands once again and she kissed me. I kissed her back. After a few minutes of this, we finally came down from it.. She opened the door and smiled and she whispered sweetly “You’re amazing. See you Monday?” and slipped another quick kiss and finally went back inside.   So, here it is. I wanted this and I got her. I’m terrified now. It’s one thing to have a okay date and have uncertainty in the future but when you hit a virtual home run and you know it has everything you hoped for…it makes you nervous and paranoid. It’s been about 3 hours since that moment by her door and I’m craving for more but not the physical nature of it. I need the connection, that electricity that charges throughout. That’s the kill.   On monday morning, I’ll be seeing her again in that parking lot at school, where just 4 days ago…this whole idea seemed like a distant fantasy. Reality is always better then the fantasy.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The Bachelor Party

The Bachelor Party   So yesterday was the bachelor party and it wasn’t really all that bad, at least better then I had anticipated.   Originally, the plan was round of golf, Reds game, dinner, strip club. However, the head guy in charge was under the impression that the Reds had an afternoon game yesterday, that wasn’t the case. So plans were slightly altered but not significantly. Instead of meeting for golf early, we pushed our tee time back to 12:50. This allowed me to take my usual Thursday morning classes and since the campus is only 15 minutes away from the course, it wasn’t an inconvenience to me or anyone.   Involved in this event were myself, my sister’s fiancé (Josh), his father(a nice guy all in all but too much effort trying to be “one of the guys”, but he covered the entire thing), Josh’s two cousins, Mike and Ryan, his co-worker Jones(never got his first name) and Josh’s best man, Grant. The problem for me was aside from not knowing any of these guys aside from my brother in law (a term I still can’t verbally say) was that I was the youngest and only one not married. 5 married guys to one young punk kid.   First was golf, Grant’s father apparently was a top guy at this “upscale private club” but if you ask me, this course didn’t seem any different from the public course down the street from me. The only difference was the pungent aroma of arrogance and thievery. Let’s be clear that I hate Golf.   As a viewer, and especially as a player, this was only the second time that I played a round of golf that didn’t involve a magical castle and a windmill. I was shocked how I played, especially compared to these other supposed avid golfers. That being said, the old man killed us and deservedly so. The problem with Golf, in my mind is that it forces you to communicate because there is a lot of down time in the process. That’s the number one reason I hate this sport, it’s 90% walking, 5% analyzing and 5% action. So with four married guys busting on Josh about getting married, I was obviously uncertain how to act but eventually you figure it out. You gotta find an “in” and things become less awkward. By the 10th hole, things were going smoothly. We finished up and headed to the clubhouse where we had a few sandwiches and drinks. This lasted a couple hours and I hate to admit it, but I was enjoying it. Sure, they were obnoxious but that was a part of the clubhouse charm, I suppose.     We decided that we all had a vested interest in the Miami/Pittsburgh game, so since my place was the only open place that night…that’s where w headed to watch the game as we grilled steak and they all had some beers. This was good for me because I had an Art Concepts test this morning and I wanted to study. At the tail end of the game, we gathered up and headed to a strip club not too far from us. I’ve covered my feelings on strip clubs before but I’ll say it again…   I get it, but seriously, what is so damn appealing about a woman dancing nakedly in front of you? While these girls were all above average, there’s a deluge of higher quality girls at school who walk around just as teasingly in tight shorts and reveling tops that leave much more to the imagination.   That being said, I did enjoy watching the others continue to drink themselves stupid and loved watching them convert into human ATM’s, I’m proud to say that I kept my money in my wallet. I pay enough money on girls as it is, at least there the possibility of sex is 100% greater and desired.   In regards to the strippers themselves, the highlight was my brother in law dancing on stage with the “Lovely Mariella”; unfortunately I left my cell at the house. So no incriminating pictures exist. I left the table and headed to the back and struck up a cordial conversation with the club owner, who surprisingly was less sleazy then I had imagined. Here’s the clue in strip club “adventures”, girls will usually target the quiet ones. Why? They are more likely to be cautious and willing to hold onto their money for the bigger prize, instead of the guy’s right up against the stage. The real main event acts aren’t the ones on stage. Despite my persistence, a particular dancer by the name of Heather (tall, blonde and well enhanced) kept “seducing” me. It took her some time to get the hint but eventually she stopped with the hard sell. It was there she dropped the act and just sat with me at the bar and we just had a casual conversation. Meanwhile, I kept a close eye on my comrades and I figured they had all they could take. Of course, I was the lone sober fool. Somehow, I roped them into the car and I took each one of them straight home.   Today is the rehearsal dinner extravaganza. That should be fine; I always enjoy a fine meal that isn’t on my bill. What’s weird is though is that I’m starting to feel awkward about the idea of my sister getting married. I’m happy for her but it’s strange to know that in just under 36 hours from now…her identity changes.   The wedding should be interesting though, as I’m flying solo (although I considered asking an ex but figured against that). I’ve said many times that weddings are the best places to meet someone and I’ve been informed that the quality will be nice but I’m not looking to fuck some random girl, at least for right now. If the timing is right and the mood is set, then yes, wedding sex is on.   Before the drinking started, Josh asked me about writing the vows and knowing that I am a pretty damn good writer with impeccable ability to say the right things, he confided in me about his fear of writing these vows, and typical male that he is, he had waited ‘til the night before. Love is the one thing that is easiest to write about…but hardest to express. All I could say is that “Love isn’t an empty truth…’. He truly loves my sister and I’m fairly confident that he’ll know the words when the time comes.   Now, that leaves me to be the last in the whole family to be unmarried. That’ll be the hot topic at the reception, me being next in line. You just gotta fake a smile and play along with the game.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Tall Stacks. Football

This was a pretty fast week that I didn’t really realize had passed but it was fairly enjoyable in spite of getting into the groove of a easy yet enjoyable job and general happiness in life.   The big “deal” is TALL STACKS. If anyone isn’t familiar with this event, it’s a bi-annual ceremony of riverboats converging onto the riverbank for a ton of concerts (mostly country, folk and some indy rock acts), food and historic stuff along with big fucking boats. It’s a pretty big tourist attraction to say the least and usually I don’t care about it as I’ve only been once and that was a kid and didn’t care for it. However, my chick works the front desk for one of the higher up hotels in that area and they are under the gun, which was the fun part about visiting her at work for the first time. I love seeing girls all flustered by work, it’s cute.   Oh, KKK? The game’s a wrap. Won.   Things to ramble on…   Baseball I was completely off about everything. Which I’m fine with because despite not having any classic games and only Tigers/Yankees game 2 being particularly memorable, I’ve enjoyed this post-season.   Congrats to the A’s for getting that monkey off their proverbial backs and I’ve really gotten to like some of those guys. Minnesota was too business-minded and in turn that hurt them, while Oakland’s free-wheeling nature finally helped them.   The NL West completely laid down and I don’t see either franchise making a 0-2 comeback. They might push it to 5 games but I said each team is done.   It’s fantastic to see Yankees on the ropes against Detroit but I’m not foolish enough to assume that it’s over. Yankees can turn the switch on like *that*.   Football Quickie Picks   Buffalo @ Chicago -Chicago’s really fucking good but Buffalo has the ability to keep games ugly and close. I don’t think it’ll be a blow-out along the lines off the ass-kicking they gave Seattle (which was STATEMENT game) but it’ll be decisive enough.   Buffalo 10 Chicago 20   Cleveland @ Carolina -Cleveland plays ugly but they don’t play good. They can play close but Carolina looks to be clicking with STEVE SMITH out there.   Cleveland 16 Carolina 31   Detroit @ Minnesota -I’m starting to think Detroit might be getting somewhere and Minnesota isn’t going anywhere. I’ll call for the upset win because I think Detroit will cover anyways.   Detroit 23 Minnesota 20   Miami @ New England -NE owned Cincinnati last week in their own statement game. Miami is a complete fraud. Will Miami cover? It’s a division game and Miami has been good against NE in the past, it’s certainly probable.   Miami 9 New England 17   St. Louis @ Green Bay -St. Louis is still a weird team that isn’t clear yet but GB is a bad team and there’s no denying that. I could buy GB pulling off a win here but I’ll be conservative with St. Louis again.   St. Louis 24 Green Bay 16   Tampa @ New Orleans -NO took the predictable lost but looked good in doing so. TB is a disaster and that isn’t exclusive to the QB situation.   Tampa 13 New Orleans 28   Tennessee at Indianapolis (18.5) -Indianapolis had a scare last week and I can’t imagine them getting in that position once more and especially not against Tennessee. The line worries me but I trust Peyton Manning (in the regular season, at least).   Tennessee 7 Indianapolis 31       Washington @ New York -Who knows? Seriously, these are the games you can’t really honestly predict. It’ll be ugly or just all out. No middle ground.   Washington 21 New York 26   Kansas City @ Arizona -Arizona is inching closer to being a step above ineptitude but as long as Warner is their starter, it’s a slow climb. KC does well against shitty teams and this should be no exception.   Kansas City 34 Arizona 20   New York @ Jacksonville -New York looked really good last week and I’m not sure that line is fair. I’ll go with the Jets to cover but not for the win.   New York 13 Jacksonville 17   Oakland @ San Francisco -Good God. SF is so miserable that they could only get 3.5 pts on the Raiders, but to be fair, that’s the same amount Cleveland went up by.   Oakland 10 San Francisco 14   Dallas @ Philadelphia -You would think this was the Super Bowl, given the hype and talk regarding this match. What’s so intriguing about this match-up? Beyond the weak and over-rated catcalls from a degenerate fan base in Philadelphia and the first and ONLY hard shot T.O will get? TO will make his mark against Philadelphia because he thrives in these games. The pressure will eat at McNabb and he’ll wither up as usual.   Dallas 24 Philadelphia 16   Pittsburgh @ San Diego -I think this is a crucial game for each QB. Ben needs to recover and get on track and Rivers will be severely tested as Pittsburgh can swallow up a running game, even one involving LT. It’ll be tight and pretty fun.   Pittsburgh 17 San Diego 21   Baltimore @ Denver -Should be an old style smash mouth game. Plummer against the Ravens defense will be intriguing and let’s see just how magical McAir is against that defense.   Baltimore 17 Denver 10

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Stop looking for all the answers

I figured that If I'm going to randomly comment on people's blogs here, I might as well contribute some of my own chaotic or pointless observations/rants for others to mock.   I don't think anyone really cares about the particular details of who I am, because when it's at a internet message board, isn't everything really still anonymous? I am 20 years old, yet you couldn't convince me that being 20 is any different then being 17. I just have more things to pay for and the government has granted me the ability to die for this country for no true purpose (although, I wasn't even good enough to do that, according to the government. That's fine, I like being alive, despite it's flaws).   After I graduated from my conservative all white high school here. I took a year off from education because high school completely burnt me out. Besides, I knew where i was going to college and waiting a year wasn't going to alter my abilities to attend. I decided to be one of those "self-searching" fools, but in reality I was just escaping the fact I have to grow up and abandon childhood hopes and dreams. I continued to work and I sank into that role, I would idiotic hours. All my friends, the few I had from high school had already gone off to college and I started hearing from them less frequently. Around winter 2004, my phone stopped ringing and my AIM buddy list was nearly vacant.   I wasn't lonely or sad about the changes in my life, however. I was just discouraged by the lack of motivation. I was materialistic for awhile, i drowned myself in items like a new car, electronic upgrades and other pointless 'entertainment' novelties.   I had a jolt to my system, on January 11th. It was around 7:30, I had just finished a dinner that I cooked myself (god bless tv dinners) and I heard my cell phone ringing. At that point, hearing my cell ring was getting to be a rarity. I grabbed the phone and saw I had a txt message, but didn't know the number. I read the message and it was a simple message, someone asking where someone else was. I replied "you got the wrong number, sry"...   4 hours later, I was in love with the person who sent me the wrong txt message. In my life, prior to that moment, I had short and meaningless relationships (save for one special one, that had nearly crushed me to pieces). The girl, behind the messages was perfect. She was younger though, 16 to my 19 but that really didn't matter in my eyes.   We got to talking daily via txt, aim and the occasional talk and it was increasingly obvious this was the perfect girl, it seemed. I finally mustered the balls to arrange a meeting. She only lived 30 minutes from me. We met at her house, rain softly fell as our eyes collided for the first time. I lost myself in those green eyes of hers. She was physically indescribable. Tall, blond and athletic. The awkwardness, shuffled away as we talked. It was like we were already together for years, the chemistry was perfect.   the next seven months, it was the most intense and incredible piece of my life. I woke up with a voice-mail from her every day and I spend hours with her, My life was only for her. As this was going on, the two friends i really kept in touch with were equally going through difficult times. My best friend, her brother had just committed suicide(he was 23) and my other friend, had been involved in a car accident and broke her leg. She was confined to a wheelchair for a bit of time.   It was during this time, the realization of the fact I'm in this serious relationship, my friends are going through these rough times. Childhood? was thrown out the door.   My girlfriend and I, broke up. On our 8 month anniversary. She cheated. "I didn't mean to...It just happened". Did you regret it? I asked. "No". she whispered. So much for that happiness....   While this was going on, I finally went and enrolled into college. Miami University (Ohio). So, i was starting this monumential thing (college) on the heels of an ultimate emotional heartbreak. In my life, I always was the one to put a end to things, but this time I had my chips and I was all in...and I lost the hand.   The next six months, never really existed. I tried to move on, I dated others but I wasn't quite feeling like I ever really got her out of my system. Then, one night...it just went away. All thanks to one person and that was my best friend. Years of sexual tension and uncertain feelings finally reached a boiling point.   I still miss my ex, we still talk occasionally and she's happy with that same guy she left me for. I want to hate her guts for what she did to me, but I knew her and I know she did the right thing...   It's almost April 2006, and I'm so far away from childhood now. I have a cousin, who is 12. He is always asking me on advice on how to make his teenage years special.   I tell him "don't expect anything. your life will not be a fairy tale". As we all grow up, we expect the answers to reveal themselves, but they never really do. We learn them but never quite knew it and it brushes by us like a faint wind.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Somewhere a clock is ticking

So this weekend didn't quite finish the way I expected, hell it never even got started.   I attended the ROH show in Dayton on Friday night, the show was alright but it lacked that special quality that it needed. At least Joe/Sydal Vs Gen Next and the CZW/ROH brawl were insane. I had prepared to go to OU to meet my friend, Natalie (KKK's favorite) and just visit with her and take her to Cleveland with me for part two of the ROH OHIO DOUBLESHOT weekend.   I was packing up my car about to leave for Athens, I gotten a phone-call from my ex. Her uncle had died a few days ago and hadn't gotten around to calling me to tell me the funeral was that day.   Her uncle was a good man, he treated me with alot of respect and taught me things I am still grateful for. He died of some cancer, he was barely into his 50's. It's a shame when good people like him die young and I see miserable pricks still alive who serve nothing to soceity other then giving us someone to not want to be.   I'm not a big funeral person. I have probably been to 5-6 funerals in my lifetime and all of them usually involved my family or family friends, which meant I usually had people I knew around me to avoid the awkwardness of it all.   I called Natalie to inform her that I couldn't come today which she launched a tirade and I just hung up on her. I went to the funeral and it was awkward as expected. I hadn't seen any of these people since me and my ex broke up last summer.   Me and Her, had seen each other a couple times since then, both cordial meetings. I couldn't resist noticing that she looked incredible, which is weird because why would you look so good for a funeral?   I mingled around and I was surprised most people remembered me. It was nice to see them again but especially nice to see her again.   It might seem funny but maybe this funeral will get us back together. The problem is...I'm still attached to my other ex/best friend who is @ Kent right now. She comes home next week.   I guess I need to make a decision...go with the EX who I love to death...even if she betrayed me a year ago...or the EX that loves me but I dont love her..even if she sacrificed everything for me a year ago.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Since I've been gone...

In case you haven't noticed, I've been rather inactive for the past week or so around these parts and there are reasons for that...but nothing I want to get into just yet.   Other happenings are...   -One week from yesterday will be my final day in the office. As you might recall from a previous entry, I made the decision to go to school full time again passing over a well paying job with potential. A choice I'm assured to regret for awhile. Like everything else in live, politics played a part.   My official title with the company was "Director of Production", which basically means manager of the workforce. I made a healthy income for the past couple months which is monumental for a 20 year old student, I got the job because of politics and because of who I knew. The owner being my father's best friend of many years put me in this seat but I didn't take it for granted and did the job with the utmost integrity as I could. Being handed a job is the worse possible situation in the work environment because it breeds contempt.   Despite having worked shoulder to shoulder with the guys in the shop (another word for factory floor) and busting my ass for the better part of the last 2 years, they still resented me for being young with this position. I had to prove my worth and I think that I accomplished this. I'd like to think my performance would warrant me the ability to select my successor but that isn't the case.   I wanted to appoint a guy who has worked off and on for this company for 15 years and knows everything about it far greater then I ever could imagine. He is generally liked by the office and floor except for one single person and that is the owner. The very same guy who placed an inexperienced 20 year old into a perk spot with his company that he built from the ground up. He feels more inclined to place someone from his secondary company into my seat. I'm very disappointed in this because I promised a man, a husband and father of 3 that this job was his when I leave. Monday morning, I had to inform him that he got passed over and that his many years with the company wasn't enough to satisfy the asshole in charge.   Originally, I planned on sticking with the company on a part-time basis going back to the shop floor but after this situation, I close the door for good with the company.   -I did well enough that I can maintain a regular lifestyle for the next couple months before going back to the work-force. I've been working non-stop for years; I will gladly welcome this break. I don't believe I'll have much difficulty in finding a new line of work. Luckily my now former job presented with experience in a variety of fields. -----------------   I start school in just 12 days. My first collegiate year was rather lackluster but with a newfound motivation and drive, I have high expectations for this upcoming semester.   I've said this many times and it holds true, for any aspiring students not sure about their direction, don't waste time and money on some big school and having your (or parents) pocketbooks gutted. There are a number of community colleges that offer the exact same basic introductory education that you'll receive from any 4 year program.   Or do what I did...attend a regional branch. Most schools have regional campus and they are significantly cheaper and they offer identical education. LLiving at home and commuting might not seem attractive but when you examine the bills I got from Miami (OH) at Oxford and the Middletown regional branch, it was light and day. Attending regional branches doesn't limit your social life by any means.   ---   My sister gets married in exactly 29 days. I'm still not convinced I want the guy to be my brother in law. He's a good guy and all but he's pretty much the equivalent of paint drying. He's an accountant, so I'll appreciate his services in the future regarding my taxes and such. My sister is smart though. She's fairly good looking and never had problems attracting all sorts of guys. I figure she got all the fun out of her system and grabbed onto a guy who isn't going to turn her life into a live episode of COPS and won't sleep around on her and will give her financial happiness.   I love weddings. I just recently attended one over the weekend but being behind the scenes for the preparations for my sister has me seriously contemplating staying single for life. It's bad enough that you feel stressed out but you throw in meddling parents who can't stand each other and disagree on everything and every single possible "disaster" known to man and its fun if you got a front row seat but eventually you'll get thrown into the scene and it's downright ugly.   Drive-thru Wedding Chapels. Seriously, utilize this.   ---   That's all I feel like going into now. Next chapter, learn about my trip to a childhood past, chance meeting with prego friend and my adventures at the auto mall.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

seeking a home to bury these bones

I know it isn’t normal of me to follow up a blog so quickly but I was bored and I know I am coming down with something. Whatever trendy summer flu is around, it’s seeking a home to bury these bones.   I only get sick (really sick, not the sniffles or headaches) but the kind of sick that renders the toilet seat to be your lone comfort and essentially drains you, once every 2 years. Since I have a really bad feeling that it’s time for it again (last visit was winter 2004)…I went ahead and finished up as much work as I could today in preparation for the days I’ll miss. Luckily, we’re smooth sailing and my absence won’t detour things. The real bitch is?   I will obviously be using my sick days, I hate losing these. I was supposed to take a vacation with my gf sometime in the next month or so (naturally we haven’t planned a fucking thing), so that might be in jeopardy. I get paid vacation, but if im going to be off for a few days. I might have to X the trip.   I never get sick when It would benefit me.   It’s early this summer, but I am already thinking about college. I want to take a full semester of classes again but I can’t with work…I cant decide at this moment what is better for me… Pursuing my education or leaving it for a well paying job that I don’t enjoy. I’ll struggle with this (in)decision for the next two months until I finally decide.   -   It’s June 14th, and roughly that means it is basically the mid-way point of 2006 and I’ve made a rough edition of my BEST OF 2006 lists   Wrestler of the ½ Year 1. Bryan Danielson 2. Mysterio 3. Chris Benoit 4. Kurt Angle 5. Samoa Joe 6. KENTA 7. Austin Aries 8. Marufuji 9. Nigel McGuiness 10. Roderick Strong 11. Christopher Daniels 12. Finlay 13. Paul London 14. Homicide 15. Shawn Michaels   (After a down year, Benoit is back in form. Samoa Joe hasn't busted out his now annual 5* match but there is still 6 1/2 months left and the inevitable Danielson/Joe re-match. McGuiness is the biggest surprise this year as he has improved tremendously, which has to be attributed to his NOAH tours and his elevated efforts in ROH. Homicide will probably have a hot second half as his shoulder is healed and he's done with the blood feud with Cabana.   Match of the ½ Year   1. Blood Generation Vs DO-FIXER (3.31-Supercard of Honor)   2. Kurt Angle Vs The Undertaker (2.19-No Way Out)   3. Jack Evans and Roderick Strong Vs Briscoes (3.25-Best in the World)   4. Bryan Danielson and Samoa Joe Vs KENTA and Naomichi Marufuji (3.25-Best in the World)   5. Kurt Angle Vs Mysterio (6.2-Smackdown)   6. Chris Benoit Vs Finlay (5.21-Judgment Day)   7. Samoa Joe Vs AJ Styles Vs Christopher Daniels (2.12-Against all Odds)   8. Colt Cabana Vs Homicide (4.1-Better then Our Best)   9. Bryan Danielson Vs Roderick Strong (3.31-Supercard of Honor)   10. Mick Foley Vs Edge (4.2-WrestleMania 22)   11. Mysterio Vs Finlay (3.24-Smackdown)   12. Bryan Danielson Vs Nigel McGuiness(4.29-Weekend of Champions Night 2)   13. Jimmy Jacobs Vs BJ Whitmer (3.30-Dragon Date Challenge)   14. Samoa Joe Vs Christopher Daniels (4.13-iMPACT)   15. Randy Orton Vs Chris Benoit (1.27-Smackdown)   Surprisingly stronger year from WWE thus far then 2005.        

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

RUDO. Idiot at work. Love.

Random Thoughts   -Idiot co-worker   !!!   Pretty frustrating, last Thursday I met with a well known cereal company about doing a job for them and everything was on board and ready to go and we were to start production in early august for it. I sent the rep to our sales exec to finalize it.   I come in on Friday morning and I’m told we lost the account. This was a HUGE account and the old fuck we have as our sales exec fumbled the ball on the 1 yard line.   It happens though, you don’t get them all but I pissed because I gave a great pitch all for nothing.   All the asshole had to say was “We’ll get the next one, trust me”.   Fuck you Old timer. You can’t do your fucking job.   -Making it work   I hate not having time for a relationship now that I am actually in one that I want to be in. The previous relationships were us constantly together and that was nice but now I really want to be with my current GF but since I work mornings and afternoons with her working nights as a hostess…obviously our time is limited. We usually meet once a day for lunch together. 90 minutes isn’t enough. Luckily, I’m taking a week vacation soon and we’ll probably escape there and catch up on lost time.   I guess, this is one of those “growing up” things that KKK talks about…when relationships can’t be a constant state of Puppy Love.   -RUDO ON ECW     The ECW stuff has been a complete joke. From the start of the entire idea of the re-birth.   Rudo, nailed it last night. The only thing interesting about the PPV was the crowd and you can get that at any ROH or Indy show. You won’t get that crowd night in and night out.   WWE is being raped by Sci-Fi already. THEY DON’T WANT TO BE WITH WRESTLING.   Remember the last time a network didn’t want ECW? The WWE name helps slightly but not enough.   I can’t fathom how they expected this to work after conceptualizing the idea just 2 months ago. You can’t launch a huge rebirth in that short time frame.   It’ll never work. It’ll be as irrelevant as Smackdown only with a couple smark orientated angles from Heyman to appease his fan base.   Last night just shows It’ll be the same style with a different name slapped on it.   People want to call RUDO a negative minded person, but not what he really is. A open eyed person. Does he nit-pick? Sure. He pays attention to details, which isn't allowed in the minds of the mutants who have spawned again in the fake rebirth.   -DO FIXER Vs BLOOD GENERATION   This is deserving of the praise it has gotten from Meltzer and the rave reviews from across the net.   Just superb.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Refused-New Noise and the shape of a loser to come

Its finals week and that means loads of papers, assignments and exams to prep for. I don’t take it too seriously, it’s just school, after-all. Allison, on the other hand is driving herself and in turn, me crazy with finals prep. It took some convincing to get her off the chair and away from the books and out for the night (which is funny since I’m usually dragged kicking and screaming). We headed down to a local music club where apparently the trendy people go. Some local act, a girl whom is blowing up was playing a set and the place was packed tight since this would probably the last time to see this show for free.   I don’t drink and this essentially made me the lone sober person in the building. She doesn’t drink often but when she does? She makes up for it. She met a girlfriend of hers and they proceeded to dance with the other dancers. I hung back and chatted up with the security guy that I knew from a class last year and things were going fine. The main act showed up around 10 just at the peak of the crowd flow whom ignored the shitty DJ playing the typical stuff. Interestingly enough, the male to female population ratio was dead even. Guys either liked seeing the hot singer in a sauna of a building or got dragged to the show by their girl who was there to support the girl-powered rocker act. Basically, it was P!nk but with actual talent, good vocals and good looks. (Actually, I don’t know how I even made that comparison to begin with)   The show was going well, crowd was hot, she was (to steal a wrestling term thus dragging me back to dork status) “feeling it” and Allison was handling herself pretty well. Then came a moment that enraged me…   This chick was your basic pop-rock act, which is cool and all. That’s her thing. It worked. After her brief intermission, she came back and said she was doing a couple covers since it was her last night there…she played some wispy piano song that I didn’t recognize but the crowd did and went along with it. It was after that performance leading into her next song that pissed me off…   I’m gonna fucking change this shit up, get ready guys, this is “New Noise”!   (I’ll assume that a lot of people reading this don’t know what this song is but it’s from a defunct Swedish punk act from the 90’s that went largely un-noticed, The Refused and this was one of their best songs.)   She went into the song and I would say 20% of the crowd got it which was surprising considering it was mostly a poppy crowd. The band hit it perfectly but she wasn’t even close to matching Dennis Lyxzén' but really, who could? I was completely blown away by her effort though, I commend her for taking a stab at a song like this with a crowd that isn’t remotely connected with that style. This had me totally excited but what made it better was when Allison came up during the song and said “I can’t believe she’s doing Refused”. I never knew she heard of music outside the local pop station. I overheard, just as the song was ending some jack ass standing in the back alone looking as I would imagine a certain TSM poster to look like and started to razz on the girl for doing a “idiotic” punk song “trying to be something she isn’t”. Sort of like how he stood there and pretended to be an music aficionado but really just spewed out Pitchfork columns and went home alone, crying in his beat up van blasting The Smiths. Anyways, the fucking poser finished his little worthless diatribe and as the song finished with a huge reaction from the crowd as she went into her final song (her current radio hit), he started to protest again about her playing. I looked at this tool and shook my head.   He obviously came here, alone of course, just to heckle some very talented and probably soon to be successful singer without showing a shred of actual ingenuity. What prompts these types of people to be idiots? He was alone, so it’s not like he got dragged there and was protesting. He made the effort to show up at a very publicized event knowing full well who was playing and almost seemed rehearsed. Completely killing the mood, me and Allison walked away and he was left to his devices again. I went over to my security guard friend and pointed the idiot out (I wasn’t complaining , just making note of the douche bag) and he looks at me straight ahead and tells me “He’s here almost every night. He comes in alone, gets a vodka and red bull and stands there all night. Never moves but doesn’t do anything stupid except open his mouth from time to time, so we don’t care”.   I felt even sadder for this guy, why make the effort to go to this place, and stand alone quietly and when you do speak up, it’s just to disparage someone that obviously did something right to get a big crowd to see her. Oh well, these people do exist and there’s nothing left for them to do but sleep.   As I mentioned at the beginning of this entry, it’s finals week and I’m not stressed at all. My scores and grades are locked in for the most part and it’ll be another typical semester. Allison won’t be going to this school anymore (she’s staying at the main campus now but I’m taking classes in Middletown next semester). Which is good, actually. Seeing her everyday, having class together and all that made it feel like high school at times.   I’m still working part time at the body shop but got out of the office. Just doing routine oil changes and brake jobs, fairly pedestrian shit but it’s pocket change, so whatever.   I managed to have 90% of the holiday shopping finished already. I got the basics done (girl and intermediate family) and I’ll grab a few gift cards for the extended family and co-workers. I’m getting quasi anxious about the holidays. I just love them and I think this year has great potential to be memorable. Usually people fake their holiday spirit to mask their resentment and I can get that, I used to be that person but I figure you’re just better off not being a impostor and just letting it be honest. This will be the first time, I actually have something serious going on in my life on all levels at this juncture. I’m excelling in school, I’ll have a good job soon (not that I don’t already, but something more permanent down the line), a fantastic relationship that actually inspires hope. I’d try to be downhearted just to keep up with the façade for others but I’m not going to. Why is it that when you’re sad and lonely, you just wish you weren’t. Then, when you’re on cloud nine, you wish you weren’t feeling guilty for feeling good.   The BCS hoopla comes down to the final day and USC choked. Earlier this season, I predicted that Ohio State would play Florida in the NATIONAL TITLE GAME and if the BCS machine does the job right and denies the idiotic rematch concept, I’ll be right. I can’t get the NFL picks right and I blew the Bored contest but at least I got this fucker.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

On Turning 21, The Rumble and smokers.

It’s been awhile since I said anything here, so I figured I would update.   The last time I wrote here I was feeling “down” but that’s gone away and I’m doing well right now.   Two weeks ago, I turned 21 which for many is a momentous event but the ideal of turning 21 never quite appealed to me in any way because what’s really the difference between 21 and 20? Nothing, except I can legally purchase alcohol and that’s not exactly something that I care about. The only other advantage it grants me is that I can go to the local casinos.   So that was my 21st birthday "extravaganza". My family, Allison and a couple of our friends went to a riverboat casino in Indiana. We had a seafood dinner which was quite good and after a couple hours of crab legs, we decided to board the boat. Unfortunately, Allison couldn’t come with us since she isn’t 21. She stayed at the room with my mother whom doesn’t care for gambling. It was my father, my brother in law with my sister, Allison’s room-mate Danielle, my cousin Chad whom is seeing Danielle and me.   It was pretty exciting with the long walk way towards the entrance of the boat. My father is a high roller, so he got me comped $500 which was great obviously since I wasn’t gambling my own money. The atmosphere was quite fascinating with a crowd of middle aged chain smokers sitting on stools tightly gripping and fixated by the bright lights of the slots roaring in non-stop unison. The rooms clouded in smoke and smelled of cheap cologne, beer and smashed nachos. Young girls with tightly wrapped hair in cocktail dressed carrying trays of soda, cigarettes and tiny bags of potato chips and peanuts. It was straight out of a 1950’s movie but the modern technology was all over the place.     The tables were full with a great variety. Mustachioed old men leered over at the middle aged mom dealing; the young married men sat impatient looking at the remains of their chips while feeling the sting of their wives in the background. Trashy women sat with fake tans with a cigarette dangling dangerously off the tip of their lips challenging gravity. Wheels spun around in harmony, calls randomly shouted out and gold chains bounced off hairy chests.   I took a seat at a slot machine, just the $0.50 machines and immediately felt relieved that I wasn’t interested in this. My father along with some other family members are chronic gamblers and I was hoping I wouldn’t be caught up in the excitement and addiction of gambling and I wasn't. I played a few spins but mostly took in watching the others win and lose, win again and fail once more. I stopped playing after a few minutes and cashed out with $442 intact. I didn’t win any money that night, well, actually I did since that money wasn’t mine to begin with. It was a good time with the people that actually matter and I didn’t need to drink myself stupid to achieve that.   School restarted and that’s been a welcome distraction but Allison is back at Oxford with her apartment there and I’m taking classes at Middletown again. Our schedules didn’t fuse which has led to more of a stress on phone/IM/Txt system of communication. It’s just a few months anyways, until we move in together. The house is getting smaller and smaller as my parents have already begun the process of moving out.   There has been one negative spot in my life the past couple of weeks and that was the shitty news of finding out my uncle from my mother’s side had lung cancer. I can’t say I’m surprised as I never seen anyone smoke as much as he did. He’s one of the better people involved in my familes , though. It always seems the ones you like get the hard luck while the people you don’t give a shit about catch the breaks. He’s young as well. Just another lesson to learn. I never got why people smoke to begin with. My whole family are smokers aside from myself, my sister and her husband and a couple aunts and cousins here and there but as whole it’s Marbolo country. I’m not against smokers, it’s your body. Do what you want with it, I consume ungodly amounts of caffeine and I’m sure that’s not much worse then smoking. It’s more of the psychological “why would you?” that gets me.   Tonight is the ROYAL RUMBLE. Quite frankly, pro wrestling is in shambles (at least the WWE/TNA) and while I’m content with getting my quality wrestling fix with NOAH and ROH, I’d like to see the mainstream promotions finally do something but that isn’t happening. Despite that, the Rumble is a must see event if only for the Rumble match itself. It’s the perfect people gathering show as the main focus of the show is built on short memory and gives a flood of betting games to play. The winners have been blatantly obvious since they inducted the “Winner goes to WM” clause. This year is hardly any exception with Undertaker, Orton, Michaels and Edge being the only shots. It’d be nice to see a surprise winner such as RVD or Punk win to set up the ECW title match since the winner of the rumble is only given a shot at the title, and not necessarily the “MAIN EVENT”. Marvin getting laid in 2007 is more likely then anyone from ECW winning this event.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

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