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WRECK

This morning, the morning of my final exams the SW Ohio area was blitzed with a shitload of (for me) unexpected snow and most importantly, thick sheets of ice. I caught on the radio as me and Allison (whom crashed during our finals cram session) were getting dressed that there were many reports of wrecks all throughout the area. I didn’t pay too much attention, this is what you get used to around these parts. Random weather acts, yesterday it was 68 degrees and sunny. This morning, it reached down to 12 degrees and that is where all hell broke loose. From my house to school, it’s 25 minutes with regular traffic. My first class was at 9:45. I figured traffic would be slower, so I left @ 8:30 instead. It was bad. Really bad, probably the worse I have ever seen the roads considering how little snow was really falling. I was cautious, more so then I usually would have been had Allison not been in the car with me. Allison, wanted to take the main route instead of the back road we’d usually take since it would be “safer” and it would be prophetic when I replied “That’s just more dangerous, really”.     Things were going fine, most people seemed to figure out that the roads were covered in sheets of ice. It took me 30 minutes to move 5 miles and I knew at this rate, we would be late. Allison called our professors and like many other people did, said we would be late for the exams due to the roads. (That’s Allison for you. More concerned about her schooling then I think she needs to be) Then it happened, it was inevitable and I knew it was going to happen. I saw it ahead of me and I knew I was fucked. It’s like in the movies and everything becomes slow motion and you think, life is never like that. It was. Cars moving at 10-15 MPH down main street, a jeep hopped the railroad track. This railroad track was always tricky during inclement weather. I saw the Jeep twist side ways and I counted the cars in front of me and the Jeep. Four Cars. Four Cars that were about to collide and I knew it, I had two options. Head first into the truck in front of me, swerve into an icy ditch and probably flip over or wait for the car behind me to hurl me into the other cars. In that slow motion moment, that was probably just five seconds in reality. That’s all it takes to cause the chain reaction, I grabbed Allison and I collided into that truck head first and the car behind me collided into us and sent us spinning around that railroad track into a curb embankment. 4 Cars were pinned. Metal, fiberglass, plastic left spilt onto the ice. I could see the damage to my car from where I was. The front end was completely smashed in, I knew my rear was dented as well. Allison was alright. My hand hurt. Then after that brief “what the hell just happened!?” moment of clarity sank in… Four drivers and a couple passengers stormed out their cars. Instant Blame Game. “YOU FUCKER!” “YOU HIT ME!” “WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” “IS EVERYONE OK?!” “LOOK AT THIS! FUCKING LOOK!” Then I saw a little kid, probably no more then 7 years old in the truck that I hit. I was worried for him, not my car. He was fine, shook up but fine. No one was injured on site except my hurt hand but I knew it wasn’t serious, so I never said anything. It was only a matter of seconds before the police, ambulances and paramedics came by. It had been quite a busy day for this community, 11 accidents had been reported since the ice fell in just a 5 mile radius. Ours being the most severe in size. We all managed to get our cars pushed over to a gas station. We all separated out and waited, as the air warmed up, watching the ice thaw out. In my mind, I wondered if I had spent an extra 5 minutes in the shower or if Allison had her usual pop tart, we wouldn’t have ended up in the mess. I didn’t mind the wreck, that’s life. It happens. I’m glad it was an accident and not because of faulty driving. It was out of my control. We took our statements and did the song and dance. Of the cars, I took the most damage. Figures, I had often said I wanted to get rid of that car because I hated driving it in the winter and this was exactly why. It was first car I ever brought. I drove cars in between it but I ended up back with that car. Now it’s totaled. The price to fix is far greater then the value of the car. Guess, I’m going to get that new car after-all.   The whole thing took an hour. Which felt entirely too long. I called my tow guy at work to take my car to the garage where I knew it would be stripped and junked. (At least I don’t have to pay for that) I cleared out the personal stuff. In a week, once the legal stuff is finalized, we’ll tear it down for parts. My sister happened to work a few miles down the road. She took us home, we had already notified the professors and we were cleared of taking exams. For right now, I’ll be driving my father’s old pick up until the insurance agency gets my rental situation figured out. It was first real wreck, not counting a fender bender a few years ago that wasn’t even reported. Oh, and my hand is fine now, but I’m basically going lefty right now. Give me suggestions for a new car, though. Money isn’t too much of a concern but I’m shooting stay around the $21-24,000 range. I don’t want another truck or large vehicle, however. I want performance, safety (meaning when I get in another wreck, I won’t see my car collapse as it did, fucking Japanese).   Oh, and I don't like this new and "improved" board.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Livin' The Blues

The Path I Chose, I had to Follow If there is no road, there is no tommorow Hold On, Hold On for as you long as you can see It doesn't matter, nothing matters for it's only make-believe now...   I can't even begin to explain how much I regret the decisions I made throughout my life and that's expected. You can't show me one person who did everything right from the start. I do, however feel like I am way behind where I should be. I'm 20 years old and I lost almost 1 and 1/2 years on my life by waiting until I went to college and once I got here, I haven't really gotten anywhere. I still feel stuck as the same 18 year old I was, the day I grabbed that diploma from Dr. Carter (my HS principal, who I hear is dying of cancer...which is a shame. He was one of the very few good ones).   I see my friends, already changing things. Some for the best and some for the worse, but change nontheless. I can't change, beyond my haircut. Fuck, I even have the same fucking wardrobe as I did 2 years ago.   Every time, I think I got the urge to get the fuck up...something always comes to me and brings it back down and I can't remember how things got to be this way.   It used to seem that there was always something to make you happy and get you through the days...I had a really, really good month in January. It's always been a running theme in my life...I start the years off in a incredible fashion and it derails sometime around labor day into a complete mess.   Then, somehow it fixes itself up and disappears and I get another brief glimpse at the concept of happiness...   Oh, the girl from the other day? She's giving us another creature into this world.   Lesson: Don't have drunk sex.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

2005: The MOTY and WOTY

Now, that I have finally caught all the offerings of 2005 (although FIP is way behind) and I haven’t gotten through OVW yet. So It’s possible I could be making changes later this year.   *This is NA exclusive as I’m still behind on Puro*     2005 The Top Twenty   20. Austin Aries Vs CM Punk (ROH-Death before Dishonor III)   19. James Gibson Vs Austin Aries (ROH-The Final Showdown)   18. Alex Shelley Vs Claudio Castagnoli (ROH-This Means War)   17. AJ Styles Vs Christopher Daniels (TNA-Bound for Glory)   16. Bryan Danielson Vs Spanky (ROH-BOASJ)   15. CM Punk Vs Jimmy Rave (ROH-Nowhere to Run)   14. Kurt Angle Vs Shelton Benjamin (WWE-Raw)   13. Samoa Joe Vs AJ Styles (TNA-Sacrifice)   12. Samoa Joe Vs Necro Butcher (IWA-Something to Prove)   11 Shelton Benjamin Vs Shawn Michaels (WWE-Raw)   10. CM Punk Vs Roderick Strong (ROH-Escape from New York)   9. Bryan Danielson Vs CM Punk (FIP-Bring the Pain)   8. Rey Mysterio Vs Eddie Guerrero (WWE-Smackdown. 6.23)   7. Samoa Joe and Jay Lethal Vs Low Ki and Homicide (ROH-Nowhere to Run)   6. Kurt Angle Vs Shawn Michaels (WWE-WM21)   5. Samoa Joe Vs AJ Styles Vs Christopher Daniels (TNA-Unbreakable)   4. Low Ki Vs KENTA (ROH-Final Battle 2005)   3. Bryan Danielson Vs Roderick Strong (ROH-Vendetta)   2. Samoa Joe Vs Kenta Kobashi (ROH-Joe Vs Kobashi)   1. Bryan Danielson Vs James Gibson (ROH-Glory by Honor IV)   Here’s the Worker Tally (repeat names only) Bryan Danielson: 4 (#1, #3, #9 and #16) James Gibson: 2 (#1 and #19) CM Punk: 4 (#9, #10, #15 and #20) Roderick Strong: 2 (#3 and # 10) Low Ki: 2 (#4 and #7) AJ Styles: 3 (#5, #13 and #17) Christopher Daniels: 2 (#5 and #17) Kurt Angle: 2 (#6 and #14) Shawn Michaels: 2 (#6 and #11) Samoa Joe: 5 (#2, #5, #7, #12 and #13)   *This indicates a really strong year for Joe, Punk and Dragon(which is impressive, as he missed 4 months of 2005 in NA) and that Shawn Michaels, despite being one of the oldest active members of the WWE roster is still putting on the top performences for the WWE. It is in my opinion though, that 2005 was the year of CM PUNK.   Establishing 4 top twenty matches, in addition to a handful of honorable mentions, he also captured the ROH World Title in a memorable fashion and had a excellent heel turn in the process. The storyline of Punk holding the ROH Title hostage in the summer, was easily a top five storyline in all of wrestling and don't forget his emotional farewell in Chicago against Colt Cabana in a 2/3 falls match. That show ranks #2 all-time best seller for ROH (behind Joe/Kobashi, and ahead of Joe-Punk II). CM Punk moved onto OVW, where he was an instant star and has had great matches and storyline with Brent Albright.   My Top 15 workers of 2005 1. Samoa Joe 2. Bryan Danielson 3. Kurt Angle 4. James Gibson 5. CM Punk 6. Eddie Guerrero 7. Christopher Daniels 8. AJ Styles 9. Shawn Michaels 10. Rey Mysterio 11. Shelton Benjamin 12. Low Ki 13. Roderick Strong 14. Austin Aries 15. Brian Kendrick

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

What is going on

It's been awhile since I checked in here, so here's a quasi update on my world beyond TSM.   Classes end next wednesday. Actually, I only have one exam to take as the rest of my final scores depend on projects or portfolios.   This would conclude my first year of college and I can conclude that it was a disapointing expeirence. I did fairly well academically, which was never a concern despite my alarming laziness. I spent the first semester at the main campus @ Oxford living in a house with a couple other guys. I enjoyed that although it really wasn't the Animal House thrill I expected.   Unlike alot of the kids who go to Miami, I don't have my parents throwing me $ to attend this school. It was my decision, as I am paying for school on my own, that I would move back in my house and just commute to Miami's regional school in Middletown. This is a 20 minute commute and probably for the best because academically, everything is the same.   I will continue at Miami. I had considered transfering to Kent St where my ex/best friend goes but I decided that I couldn't just follow her. I have to make my own mark. So I'll stay at Miami. I'm attending all three branches, Oxford/Middletown/Hamilton.   I got a promotion at work   For the last two years, I have worked at a plant. We design and build customized conveyor systems for all sorts of companies like Kellog's, General Electric, Honeywell Security, 3M Corp and DHL.   My job was on the parts assembly crew, and on occasions I would do field jobs. Where I would go to the company's base and build the conveyor on-site or just repair them.   The security that is involved at places like General Electric, is fucking CRAZY. I probably had to go through 100 checkpoints, had my work-truck throughly scanned and they had posted guards to watch me while I worked. I had to get clearence just to take my drill out of my box. It would normally take 2 hours to do those jobs but GE made it take 10 hours. Just fucking nuts.   Anyways, after two years of doing that...I was promoted to foreman of the assembly crew. What this means is essentially nothing except a title and a 5% raise, which I like. The idea is that most of my crew that I worked with is being moved around...supposedly getting higher jobs.   Here is the bullshit of it. I am 20 years old, the youngest and least tenured person on that crew and I got the foreman job (the former foreman left the job for personal reasons). I know why I got the job and so does everyone else. The president of the plant, is my father's best friend. That's how I got the job to begin with. Luckily, I worked my ass off enough to convince those other guys that I earn my pay. Now, this advancement isn't going to help my image. Since my crew is being split apart, I have to assemble a new crew in the next 2 weeks.   Summer time, is our busy time. I'm supposed to handle big orders from fucking Kellog's and Honeywell all summer (which means dealing with them as well) and I also gotta train 4-5 new guys.   This weekend, could be AWESOME or really, really bad   This weekend, I have plans (gasp!). On friday night, I make the short trek to Dayton to attend the RING OF HONOR show. I'll cover my expecations for this show in a later blog. Saturday morning, after a short stint at work I will drive to Athens, OH. Which is where Ohio University is located.   Readers of this blog (all 2 of you) might remember my friend Natalie, the former egomanaical virgin turned mother to be. I decided to give her a visit, since she has been going nuts (understandably so) and I figure she needs an old friend to rest her mind. I'm taking her out of Athens for the day and we're going to drive to Cleveland, and attend that night's ROH show. It is after that show, we will head to Kent St to visit my ex (and she's willing to put up with Nat for the night, despite their mutual dislike). So that'll be fun or exciting at least. It's possible I regret this. Considering who i'm spending the majority of the weekend with. The ROH shows, will be good at least.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

US Open. Football. Wrestling.

It’s Friday night, and I’m anti-social. It used to be that I spent Friday nights at home because I always worked Saturday mornings but here, I really don’t have any out.   I’ll address non-real life issues first   The US Open   No, really. I like tennis. I was fairly good at in high school recreation, and should have been on the main team but I was busy with Baseball and speech tournaments to devote myself to Tennis. I wasn’t physically designed for competitive tennis anyways. However, I obtain interest in the sport from time to time…   Tennis hasn’t been significant in the grand scheme of things in this country since Pete called it quits and America stopped caring about the other Williams sister while the good and better looking one started getting distracted by the prospect of being Paris Hilton’s sidekick on the red carpet.   Roddick was a failure in more ways then one. Product of hype followed by a couple years of mainstream popularity thanks to his looks and relationship with once relevant musical pop star turned Independent movie queen, Mandy Moore. He never reached that level the mainstream and tennis enthusiasts felt he could. Granted, that could change since he still has time.   Roger let’s be realistic. He’s a fantastic player, easily the best since Pete retired and might end up better then him in the end but he doesn’t sell to anyone outside the tennis world. He could end up with more grand slams than you can count but he’ll probably be met with a resounding “who?” for the remainder of his career. Obviously, that doesn’t help Tennis get back to its peak.   From a female side, none of the girls are really at that level that reached in the old days or even just 5 years ago. Maria is good looking and she isn’t an Anna (which is good for the credibility of the sport) but it’s dying to produce new superstars.   Also, he is irrelevant these days but fuck you, Marat Safin.   As for the important thing…   Andre Agassi.   On the surface, Agassi is an impressive story all in itself considering how he virtually disappeared for years while Pete became the official top dog. He kept himself in the news with his failed publicity stunt marriage but came out looking like gold by rejuvenating his career not just on the court but on the market.   He improved on that by marrying the beloved and sweet hearted Steffi Graf. It’s funny seeing her in the stands as a tennis wife, because for a brief moment you trick yourself into forgetting she was once who she is. I feel for their kids if they ever go into tennis. That’s like being the son of Michael Jordan and whatever great woman’s basketball player that exists.   This is Andre’s last stand. Obviously, the crowd is responding accordingly in the manner in which you expect people to behave in a locale known as “Flushing Meadows”. Appropriate. I can tune out the crowd once they get really ridiculous. Leena mentioned that “no one should announce retirements” and I can see the point in that but in the case of Andre, I don’t think he needed to make that official announcement. The writing was emphatically on the wall in bright flashing neon reminiscent of his old fashion style.   Putting that aside, how could you not be sucked into this? You don’t have to enjoy tennis or understand the logic of the game, Agassi is such an incredible and captivating persona that you won’t realize that you spent 4+ hours watching intently to a game you otherwise wouldn’t give a shit about.   It probably ends now and that’s for the best really. It’s a good way to go out by losing to the appointed “future” (although, that ship is sinking) and he’ll probably put up a competitive fight through sheer willpower alone. It’s better this way, instead of getting spanked by a superior talent and limping away. Andre had a phenomenal career that had so many valleys, but he leaves a gracious superstar. It’s not that commonplace in sports and it’s not so common in a sport that an entire nation forgot about, but it’ll remember for a couple more days when they watch an old broken man have his last dance.         Football (Pro and College)   I can’t really explain it, but it happens with seemingly more dramatic fanfare and pomp each late summer heading into the breach of fall. Football season approaches and there is this palpable intensity permeating throughout this country. It doesn’t matter if you are a die hard fan of the Cowboys, Miami Hurricanes or even the dregs of NCAA DIV. II…You get anxious to the point, you begin to dream, eat, sleep and breath football.   It’s beautiful and oddly enough, it never dies down. In baseball, you go through lulls. In Basketball and Hockey, it becomes a waiting game until the playoffs finally arrive. Football, on each pro and collegiate level never ceases to lose interest. College football has a built in curiosity that locks in the fans and because of the nature of the NCAA Div. 1, every game literally counts. The whole season is a virtual playoff. Of course, 95% of the entire league is pretty much automatically exempt from the thought of contending for the national title. That’s one of the few negatives about college football. This season, you got the usual suspects getting pre-season hype and attention for legitimacy in contending for the championship.   Ohio State, Texas, USC, Notre Dame (making their first trip to the upper echelon in a few years), West Virginia (the annual sexy pick), Auburn, Florida and LSU.   It’s drastically early to seriously predict the championship contenders but rest assured this regular season won’t end without the annual pointless, meaningless and fruitless debate over the supposed necessity of a playoff system and of course, the traditional BCS bashing routine. It’s the same article every season with the occasional changed team. Right now, take confidence that a minimum of two teams will cry foul about being “screwed” out of the BCS bowls, a team ranked 10-15 spots lower then those teams will obtain one of those cushy spots via the privilege of being the best of a lesser conference.   Random Championship Game Prediction Florida over Ohio State     NFL is scripted a little differently but the act usually plays out the same. The usual suspects will be legitimate threats, an unexpected team will rise from the dead to baffle the fans and pundits equally and the league will enjoy divine parity throughout the land creating a greater opportunity for increased ratings and sales revenue. This is a key season for the new commissioner, Roger Goodell (seriously, like that name doesn’t lend itself to a deluge of bad puns). While the league isn’t going to collapse with his arrival, it’s important to see how he implements his own touch and maintain the effective standing of the league.       A lot of questions were being asked locally about the status of MVP candidate and rising superstar, Carson Palmer and his recovery from the devastating injury he suffered last January. That has been defiantly answered in the eyes of fans, pundits and most importantly, Carson Palmer. He’s ready to go. His physical skills are still intact and that mental block has been lifted.   With a healthy Palmer, there’s little doubt that Cincinnati’s offense is insane and rivals the Colts in explosiveness and with a change in Indianapolis’s running game, Cincinnati is operating with a squad that remains intact from the past season with more familiarity and comfort within the system. The defense will remain a sketchy issue. The ability to capture turnovers is fantastic, but not when you allow runners to destroy you. The Bengals have looked nothing short of brilliant in the pre-season, but that’s the pre-season.   Does that make them the overall favorite? No. A questionable defense and a quarterback recovering from a serious injury creates skepticism. The favorites, across the board are the usual suspects of Indianapolis (with the window rapidly closing), Carolina (with additional offensive help in Johnson), Pittsburgh (The defending champs, minus the Bus and EL), Seattle (faced with the Madden and SB Curse simultaneously) and the perennial favorite that you can’t overlook…New England.   Miami is the sexy pick for this season, while a legitimate Wild-Card contender, I don’t buy them as SB contenders.   Don’t forget that Reggie Bush is going to rebuild the city of New Orleans with his magic feet. Don’t forget that Michael Vick is a natural athlete that you can’t contain, unless you watch all the other teams who have managed just that. Don’t forget that T.O plays for Dallas and he might have some problemswith the coaching staff. Universe outside his planet. Don’t forget that Peyton Manning can’t win the big one. Don’t forget that Larry Johnson is the ultimate fantasy player… Don’t forget that Brett Favre should have retired after-all. Don’t forget that Matt Millen is a idiot. Don’t forget that the NFL owns your soul.   Regular Season Predictions With Little Thought Implemented AFC East: New England, Miami, Buffalo and New York AFC South: Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Houston and Tennessee AFC North: Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Cleveland AFC West: Kansas City, San Diego, Denver and Oakland Wild Cards: Miami and Jacksonville   NFC East: Dallas, Philadelphia, Washington and New York NFC South: Carolina, New Orleans (yes, there is always a team like NO doing this) Atlanta, Tampa Bay NFC North: Chicago, Green Bay (really easy schedule gives them 5 wins, which might be enough for 2nd), Detroit and Minnesota (I just sense a really miserable season, again for these guys) NFC West: Seattle, St. Louis, Arizona and San Francisco Wild-Card: Philadelphia and St. Louis (I think the North is complete crap and the east will play each other, leaving St. Louis to waltz in there)   Super Bowl Pick Carolina over New England       Wrestling Raw is a joke. It’s all McMahon and all DX. It’s 1998 without everything that worked. Smackdown is still vacant in the Cincinnati area and unlikely to return for the time being. Still clearly designed as the C show and the atrocious Eddie Guerrero exploitation persists.   ECW is the only interesting thing going in WWE land and that’s only for the voyeuristic aspect of watching a train wreck. CM Punk is “shockingly” (in the eyes of jaded internet fans) getting a modest mid-card push without losing any of the values and principles that made him so endeared to the independent fan base to begin with…well, other then his standard 30 minute promos and 60 minute matches.   However, squashing nobodies isn’t what Punk deserves. However, if being a bright spot in between WWE’s second helping of Raw on Tuesday nights on Sci-Fi and avoiding being a part of the main act is all Punk is getting, it might not be a bad deal after-all.   Remember most were adamant that Punk would regret turning TNA down on the basis of no television exposure only to have TNA sign with Spike days after finalizing the deal with WWE? That Punk would be wasted and reduced to nothing, and would have thrived in TNA.   Aside from the possibility of one more match with Joe on PPV, what else would Punk obtained in TNA that he didn’t in OVW and WWE as of right now.   Punk will eventually move into actual programs and meaningful matches, in ECW already he has reached a audience twice the size that TNA reaches. In OVW, he spent a year under the mastermind of Paul Heyman as they worked to create the BEST televised wrestling show in 2005 and half of 2006. Had fantastic feuds and was the flagship for that promotion. He improved on his skills and became a tighter performer.   All working with TNA would have done is let him work ROH. Punk did EVERYTHING possible in ROH except win the Pure title. While the prospect of Punk/Kenta sounds bad-ass, the world will keep spinning.   Speaking of ROH, BJ Whitmer is a legitimate badass motherfucker. After tearing two ligaments and destroyed ankle cartilage last March, he continued working at a high level including two sadistic matches in Cage Of Death and the Barbed Wire match with Necro Butcher…he finally was forced to take surgery. The Summer of ROH was fantastic with the hot Nigel/Danielson matches, emergence of stars like Davey Richards, the CZW/ROH blow off, KENTA performances and the superb Briscoes/Aries and Strong matches. The Glory By Honor V weekend is really packed…it includes but not limited to…   9/15 Danielson Vs Aries KENTA and Marufuji Vs Briscoe Brothers Samoa Joe Vs Roderick Strong Daniels Vs Nigel McGuiness   9/16 KENTA Vs Danielson Strong and Aries Vs Kings Of Wrestling Naomichi Marufuji Vs Nigel McGuiness   SPECIAL GUEST: Bruno Sammantino   With Morishima, Yone and Sugiura in attendence both nights.   Speaking of Independent wrestling, I really need to pimp Cheerleader Melissa/Mschief for putting on a EXCELLENT Falls Count Anywhere match for the SHIMMER promotion. SHIMMER is an exceptional promotion based completely around Woman’s Wrestling.   Personal Life Shit Didn’t think I could go a whole blog without sprinkling some personal life shit, right? Actually, nothing too much to report. School has just been completely fantastic and I’m blown away by how much I’m digging this current semester. It’s not all related to academics though. Another one has come around…   To be honest, I’m sorta growing nervous about it…I haven’t really felt this way since a 18 months ago. Hard to believe it was only 18 months ago…but life sure has changed since then. I’m probably over thinking this too much. This is exactly why I said I wanted to avoid this stuff for the whole semester. I couldn’t go 2 weeks.     It’s funny that I’m stressing about the start of something that might be nothing while in just 7 days, my sister will be married. Next Thursday is the bachelor party. It’s a all day thing of Golf, Reds Game and Strip Club appearance. I don’t get the concept of bachelor party, okay, I do but I think it’s dumb. I don’t need an excuse to see someone dance naked in front of me, that sort of thing loses its appeal (in this context) after the first time. I don’t drink either, so the entire purpose is lost on me but I guess I have to partake because it’s only proper or something, according to my sister.   Jesus, this was really long. Im that bored…that’s enough for now.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Break-Up. Weddings. School.

On Wednesday night, while I was standing in the pouring rain looking into her eyes, with the shriek of thousands around me rushing to get away from the deluge…I answered my own question and confirmed my doubts.   She smiled and nodded her head and I took her in and gave her a kiss on the forehead. We didn’t speak to each other for a ½ hour. We just stood in the pouring rain looking out over the river and we finally turned around and headed back to our seats.   It was strange, to break up peacefully. We actually enjoyed the night more this way. A part of me hates that it wasn’t the relationship I dreamt of years ago. I can’t tell what the fault was but I suspect it was just the fact we went into this whole thing trying to fulfill a childhood dream and didn’t realize that it was just that a dream…   It never worked, right from the start. Our schedules alone kept us apart, the spark didn’t extend past that first night of passion (which was just years of tension exploding)…   It’s rare to honestly mean “we’re still friends” but in this instance it is.   The real awkward part is having to see her family again, they are probably more disappointed in the extinction of this relationship then we are.   It’s for the best, really. School is starting in 5 weeks anyways. Miami, home of yuppie hot white pussy. Cool.   School D. Work That’s rightl; I finally came to the decision. I’m taking this really big risk and I’m giving up my cushy well paying office job to go to school full-time.   I could stay on this track and be a top guy before I’m 25 and be making ridiculous money…but it’s not what I want to do.   I said this last time, I can’t be my father.   So, I’m sticking with school. Im going to spend money to get a degree that I’ll probably never use.   Weddings.   This is the wedding season, for me at least. In the next 6 weeks, I’m attending 3 weddings. One for a co-worker, my cousin and my sister.   Obviously the first two are merely “show up” deals but the sister one? That’s big. I’m just an usher, which feels dumb.   I never got weddings, really. I’ve been to over a dozen (I lost count) and probably 2-4 of them are still active.   It’s just another excuse for getting drunk and that means nothing to me. However, watching my grandmother get trashed is worth at least an hour of amusement.   Reds.   So, the Reds are actually still in contention as we near the trade-deadling. On March 1st, I never would have imagined we’d be in this place. Playoffs or no playoffs, I’m exicted to know that for the first time in awhile, it appears we got an intelligent GM and owner that gives a fuck.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Since I've been gone...

In case you haven't noticed, I've been rather inactive for the past week or so around these parts and there are reasons for that...but nothing I want to get into just yet.   Other happenings are...   -One week from yesterday will be my final day in the office. As you might recall from a previous entry, I made the decision to go to school full time again passing over a well paying job with potential. A choice I'm assured to regret for awhile. Like everything else in live, politics played a part.   My official title with the company was "Director of Production", which basically means manager of the workforce. I made a healthy income for the past couple months which is monumental for a 20 year old student, I got the job because of politics and because of who I knew. The owner being my father's best friend of many years put me in this seat but I didn't take it for granted and did the job with the utmost integrity as I could. Being handed a job is the worse possible situation in the work environment because it breeds contempt.   Despite having worked shoulder to shoulder with the guys in the shop (another word for factory floor) and busting my ass for the better part of the last 2 years, they still resented me for being young with this position. I had to prove my worth and I think that I accomplished this. I'd like to think my performance would warrant me the ability to select my successor but that isn't the case.   I wanted to appoint a guy who has worked off and on for this company for 15 years and knows everything about it far greater then I ever could imagine. He is generally liked by the office and floor except for one single person and that is the owner. The very same guy who placed an inexperienced 20 year old into a perk spot with his company that he built from the ground up. He feels more inclined to place someone from his secondary company into my seat. I'm very disappointed in this because I promised a man, a husband and father of 3 that this job was his when I leave. Monday morning, I had to inform him that he got passed over and that his many years with the company wasn't enough to satisfy the asshole in charge.   Originally, I planned on sticking with the company on a part-time basis going back to the shop floor but after this situation, I close the door for good with the company.   -I did well enough that I can maintain a regular lifestyle for the next couple months before going back to the work-force. I've been working non-stop for years; I will gladly welcome this break. I don't believe I'll have much difficulty in finding a new line of work. Luckily my now former job presented with experience in a variety of fields. -----------------   I start school in just 12 days. My first collegiate year was rather lackluster but with a newfound motivation and drive, I have high expectations for this upcoming semester.   I've said this many times and it holds true, for any aspiring students not sure about their direction, don't waste time and money on some big school and having your (or parents) pocketbooks gutted. There are a number of community colleges that offer the exact same basic introductory education that you'll receive from any 4 year program.   Or do what I did...attend a regional branch. Most schools have regional campus and they are significantly cheaper and they offer identical education. LLiving at home and commuting might not seem attractive but when you examine the bills I got from Miami (OH) at Oxford and the Middletown regional branch, it was light and day. Attending regional branches doesn't limit your social life by any means.   ---   My sister gets married in exactly 29 days. I'm still not convinced I want the guy to be my brother in law. He's a good guy and all but he's pretty much the equivalent of paint drying. He's an accountant, so I'll appreciate his services in the future regarding my taxes and such. My sister is smart though. She's fairly good looking and never had problems attracting all sorts of guys. I figure she got all the fun out of her system and grabbed onto a guy who isn't going to turn her life into a live episode of COPS and won't sleep around on her and will give her financial happiness.   I love weddings. I just recently attended one over the weekend but being behind the scenes for the preparations for my sister has me seriously contemplating staying single for life. It's bad enough that you feel stressed out but you throw in meddling parents who can't stand each other and disagree on everything and every single possible "disaster" known to man and its fun if you got a front row seat but eventually you'll get thrown into the scene and it's downright ugly.   Drive-thru Wedding Chapels. Seriously, utilize this.   ---   That's all I feel like going into now. Next chapter, learn about my trip to a childhood past, chance meeting with prego friend and my adventures at the auto mall.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Tall Stacks. Football

This was a pretty fast week that I didn’t really realize had passed but it was fairly enjoyable in spite of getting into the groove of a easy yet enjoyable job and general happiness in life.   The big “deal” is TALL STACKS. If anyone isn’t familiar with this event, it’s a bi-annual ceremony of riverboats converging onto the riverbank for a ton of concerts (mostly country, folk and some indy rock acts), food and historic stuff along with big fucking boats. It’s a pretty big tourist attraction to say the least and usually I don’t care about it as I’ve only been once and that was a kid and didn’t care for it. However, my chick works the front desk for one of the higher up hotels in that area and they are under the gun, which was the fun part about visiting her at work for the first time. I love seeing girls all flustered by work, it’s cute.   Oh, KKK? The game’s a wrap. Won.   Things to ramble on…   Baseball I was completely off about everything. Which I’m fine with because despite not having any classic games and only Tigers/Yankees game 2 being particularly memorable, I’ve enjoyed this post-season.   Congrats to the A’s for getting that monkey off their proverbial backs and I’ve really gotten to like some of those guys. Minnesota was too business-minded and in turn that hurt them, while Oakland’s free-wheeling nature finally helped them.   The NL West completely laid down and I don’t see either franchise making a 0-2 comeback. They might push it to 5 games but I said each team is done.   It’s fantastic to see Yankees on the ropes against Detroit but I’m not foolish enough to assume that it’s over. Yankees can turn the switch on like *that*.   Football Quickie Picks   Buffalo @ Chicago -Chicago’s really fucking good but Buffalo has the ability to keep games ugly and close. I don’t think it’ll be a blow-out along the lines off the ass-kicking they gave Seattle (which was STATEMENT game) but it’ll be decisive enough.   Buffalo 10 Chicago 20   Cleveland @ Carolina -Cleveland plays ugly but they don’t play good. They can play close but Carolina looks to be clicking with STEVE SMITH out there.   Cleveland 16 Carolina 31   Detroit @ Minnesota -I’m starting to think Detroit might be getting somewhere and Minnesota isn’t going anywhere. I’ll call for the upset win because I think Detroit will cover anyways.   Detroit 23 Minnesota 20   Miami @ New England -NE owned Cincinnati last week in their own statement game. Miami is a complete fraud. Will Miami cover? It’s a division game and Miami has been good against NE in the past, it’s certainly probable.   Miami 9 New England 17   St. Louis @ Green Bay -St. Louis is still a weird team that isn’t clear yet but GB is a bad team and there’s no denying that. I could buy GB pulling off a win here but I’ll be conservative with St. Louis again.   St. Louis 24 Green Bay 16   Tampa @ New Orleans -NO took the predictable lost but looked good in doing so. TB is a disaster and that isn’t exclusive to the QB situation.   Tampa 13 New Orleans 28   Tennessee at Indianapolis (18.5) -Indianapolis had a scare last week and I can’t imagine them getting in that position once more and especially not against Tennessee. The line worries me but I trust Peyton Manning (in the regular season, at least).   Tennessee 7 Indianapolis 31       Washington @ New York -Who knows? Seriously, these are the games you can’t really honestly predict. It’ll be ugly or just all out. No middle ground.   Washington 21 New York 26   Kansas City @ Arizona -Arizona is inching closer to being a step above ineptitude but as long as Warner is their starter, it’s a slow climb. KC does well against shitty teams and this should be no exception.   Kansas City 34 Arizona 20   New York @ Jacksonville -New York looked really good last week and I’m not sure that line is fair. I’ll go with the Jets to cover but not for the win.   New York 13 Jacksonville 17   Oakland @ San Francisco -Good God. SF is so miserable that they could only get 3.5 pts on the Raiders, but to be fair, that’s the same amount Cleveland went up by.   Oakland 10 San Francisco 14   Dallas @ Philadelphia -You would think this was the Super Bowl, given the hype and talk regarding this match. What’s so intriguing about this match-up? Beyond the weak and over-rated catcalls from a degenerate fan base in Philadelphia and the first and ONLY hard shot T.O will get? TO will make his mark against Philadelphia because he thrives in these games. The pressure will eat at McNabb and he’ll wither up as usual.   Dallas 24 Philadelphia 16   Pittsburgh @ San Diego -I think this is a crucial game for each QB. Ben needs to recover and get on track and Rivers will be severely tested as Pittsburgh can swallow up a running game, even one involving LT. It’ll be tight and pretty fun.   Pittsburgh 17 San Diego 21   Baltimore @ Denver -Should be an old style smash mouth game. Plummer against the Ravens defense will be intriguing and let’s see just how magical McAir is against that defense.   Baltimore 17 Denver 10

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Autumn's fall with rocks and babies.

On Saturday morning, driving back home after crashing at Allison’s apartment, I was fairly relaxed and took the scenic route as opposed to my regular routine (after all, I wasn’t in any particular rush to get home). Right now, is my most favorite time of the year. The weather is just right with the heat dying out, the crisp mornings and evening chills creeping in just before the icy freeze of winter’s gloom arrives and you get this build up within, a rush of events in the form of holidays, family gatherings, mass rushes of shopping euphoria and forced kindness in the spirit of the holiday season.   Football is in full bloom from high school (playoff football is a huge deal in SW Ohio), college (the madness of the BCS strikes again, and no matter what the “playoff!” enthusiasts will say, they know that the current format offers so much more intrigue) and pro (the contenders and pretenders separate and the race to the super bowl begins). Movies, the good movies that studios have complete faith in to be academy award candidates are rolling out alongside the family comedy blockbusters that drive the art house elite into frenzied coffee fueled rants about the decline of something that I ignore because they aren’t worth the time to pretend to give a shit.   I drove along with some innocuous music serving as theme music for the long drive and I happened to drive pass a Best Buy, which was oddly placed into a vacant mass of land occupied on its own as if it was mistakenly dropped there and no one bothered to move it to the proper location that was swiftly replaced with another Wal-Mart Super Center. There was a long line of people sitting around the side of the building apparently waiting for the release of yet another stupid game system.   After all the reports that came out about the PS3 release and the backlash that occurred, I couldn’t believe these people (likely the same ones that sat in the same spot a week ago) buy into the promotion that they MUST own these over-priced game systems as soon as humanly possible regardless of all the likely glitches and product dependability issues that always occur from these initial launches. If you can’t wait 3 months when the price will likely drop, the bad editions will be tossed aside and there’s no having to stand in a line with someone who hasn’t showered in a 2-3 days, then I’m can’t really feel sorry for those that wasted a tremendous chunk of money on this product. People are getting robbed and attacked not just by SONY/Nintendo but by regular assholes and I can’t help but to feel like they probably had it coming.     I kept driving along when I somehow ended up behind a dump truck full of dirt, rocks and assorted materials. It was an impassable one lane road, so I did the common sense thing of dropping back a decently measured distance to avoid those pinging rocks and clumps of dirt from colliding with my car. Generally, I won’t care about getting a little dirt on the car or even tiny scruffs from the falling rocks but I still plan on selling this car very soon and I wasn’t looking to lower the value of the car. My intention didn’t work out to my hopes as my impatience got the best of me and I moved in closer and decided I would simply just slingshot past the truck knowing the risk that would occur on a narrow one lane road. I signaled to the driver that I was passing and I began to proceed and about half-way pass the truck, he suddenly sped up as we went into a curve that gave me zero room to make that pass, forcing me to dropping back behind him and as you would imagine with his increased speed and my now close proximity, the rocks bounced off the shaking truck and pinged right onto the hood.   I dropped back again further and finally he disappeared. Once I finally got home, I surveyed the damage to the hood and while it wasn’t drastic, there were noticeable dents and marks. It won’t hurt the car and it can be fixed fairly easy but it’s kind of annoying to see the scruffs and some of the paint chipping away. It’s disconcerting because this was my first purchased car and even though I stopped driving it for awhile, I still had an attachment to it. It was a beautiful, shiny fresh car when I first brought it way back when and now it’s becoming old, used up and faded from its once beautiful state. I guess that’s the course of life for everything, isn’t it?   On Thursday, 11/16/06, my oft-mentioned friend from the past finally gave birth to a supposedly healthy boy (I say this because I never got how they determine health for a freaking infant that’s been alive for no more then 2 days, give it some time to catch a disease or something before labeling it “healthy”). Named the kid, Jason James. Apparently, no real significance. However, that just made me wonder about something.   In all of life, I have to imagine naming your child has to be one of the more stressful tasks possible. It sounds silly but what you name that kid will most likely determine his course in life. Also, will parents stop trying to be creative with names? Throwing extra letters, or changing a letter in a regular name to make it different. I’m stick of the different spellings for names like Sean/Shawn/Shaun. Can’t we have some international vote about what will be the official proper spelling of these names? It seems parents think they win something if they have the most creative name for their kid. Im talking regular folk, not the celebrity nutcases that name their kids, Apple or Suri. At least those kids can point at their parents and we understand. Regular kids with regular parents don’t have an excuse. I did bring this up with Allison though and I learned a lesson.   DON’T.   I learned that girls have pre-named all their future children before we (males) even started killing our prospective kids with scrambled Cine-Max. All I ask if that if I ever do produce a spawn boy, that he’d have my father’s first name for his middle name like the past 4 generations of first born sons in our family have. (I.E, my grandfather’s given first name is my middle name). However, I learned that David (my father’s first name) doesn’t fit with her pre-approved names for any male child. I made a compromise, I would get to name all the dogs. I think it’s a fair trade. Oh, yes. It’s only two months into this thing and we’re already having that “kids/marriage/future” talk. That’s further ahead then I ever really got with my previous ex’s. Scary.          

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Refused-New Noise and the shape of a loser to come

Its finals week and that means loads of papers, assignments and exams to prep for. I don’t take it too seriously, it’s just school, after-all. Allison, on the other hand is driving herself and in turn, me crazy with finals prep. It took some convincing to get her off the chair and away from the books and out for the night (which is funny since I’m usually dragged kicking and screaming). We headed down to a local music club where apparently the trendy people go. Some local act, a girl whom is blowing up was playing a set and the place was packed tight since this would probably the last time to see this show for free.   I don’t drink and this essentially made me the lone sober person in the building. She doesn’t drink often but when she does? She makes up for it. She met a girlfriend of hers and they proceeded to dance with the other dancers. I hung back and chatted up with the security guy that I knew from a class last year and things were going fine. The main act showed up around 10 just at the peak of the crowd flow whom ignored the shitty DJ playing the typical stuff. Interestingly enough, the male to female population ratio was dead even. Guys either liked seeing the hot singer in a sauna of a building or got dragged to the show by their girl who was there to support the girl-powered rocker act. Basically, it was P!nk but with actual talent, good vocals and good looks. (Actually, I don’t know how I even made that comparison to begin with)   The show was going well, crowd was hot, she was (to steal a wrestling term thus dragging me back to dork status) “feeling it” and Allison was handling herself pretty well. Then came a moment that enraged me…   This chick was your basic pop-rock act, which is cool and all. That’s her thing. It worked. After her brief intermission, she came back and said she was doing a couple covers since it was her last night there…she played some wispy piano song that I didn’t recognize but the crowd did and went along with it. It was after that performance leading into her next song that pissed me off…   I’m gonna fucking change this shit up, get ready guys, this is “New Noise”!   (I’ll assume that a lot of people reading this don’t know what this song is but it’s from a defunct Swedish punk act from the 90’s that went largely un-noticed, The Refused and this was one of their best songs.)   She went into the song and I would say 20% of the crowd got it which was surprising considering it was mostly a poppy crowd. The band hit it perfectly but she wasn’t even close to matching Dennis Lyxzén' but really, who could? I was completely blown away by her effort though, I commend her for taking a stab at a song like this with a crowd that isn’t remotely connected with that style. This had me totally excited but what made it better was when Allison came up during the song and said “I can’t believe she’s doing Refused”. I never knew she heard of music outside the local pop station. I overheard, just as the song was ending some jack ass standing in the back alone looking as I would imagine a certain TSM poster to look like and started to razz on the girl for doing a “idiotic” punk song “trying to be something she isn’t”. Sort of like how he stood there and pretended to be an music aficionado but really just spewed out Pitchfork columns and went home alone, crying in his beat up van blasting The Smiths. Anyways, the fucking poser finished his little worthless diatribe and as the song finished with a huge reaction from the crowd as she went into her final song (her current radio hit), he started to protest again about her playing. I looked at this tool and shook my head.   He obviously came here, alone of course, just to heckle some very talented and probably soon to be successful singer without showing a shred of actual ingenuity. What prompts these types of people to be idiots? He was alone, so it’s not like he got dragged there and was protesting. He made the effort to show up at a very publicized event knowing full well who was playing and almost seemed rehearsed. Completely killing the mood, me and Allison walked away and he was left to his devices again. I went over to my security guard friend and pointed the idiot out (I wasn’t complaining , just making note of the douche bag) and he looks at me straight ahead and tells me “He’s here almost every night. He comes in alone, gets a vodka and red bull and stands there all night. Never moves but doesn’t do anything stupid except open his mouth from time to time, so we don’t care”.   I felt even sadder for this guy, why make the effort to go to this place, and stand alone quietly and when you do speak up, it’s just to disparage someone that obviously did something right to get a big crowd to see her. Oh well, these people do exist and there’s nothing left for them to do but sleep.   As I mentioned at the beginning of this entry, it’s finals week and I’m not stressed at all. My scores and grades are locked in for the most part and it’ll be another typical semester. Allison won’t be going to this school anymore (she’s staying at the main campus now but I’m taking classes in Middletown next semester). Which is good, actually. Seeing her everyday, having class together and all that made it feel like high school at times.   I’m still working part time at the body shop but got out of the office. Just doing routine oil changes and brake jobs, fairly pedestrian shit but it’s pocket change, so whatever.   I managed to have 90% of the holiday shopping finished already. I got the basics done (girl and intermediate family) and I’ll grab a few gift cards for the extended family and co-workers. I’m getting quasi anxious about the holidays. I just love them and I think this year has great potential to be memorable. Usually people fake their holiday spirit to mask their resentment and I can get that, I used to be that person but I figure you’re just better off not being a impostor and just letting it be honest. This will be the first time, I actually have something serious going on in my life on all levels at this juncture. I’m excelling in school, I’ll have a good job soon (not that I don’t already, but something more permanent down the line), a fantastic relationship that actually inspires hope. I’d try to be downhearted just to keep up with the façade for others but I’m not going to. Why is it that when you’re sad and lonely, you just wish you weren’t. Then, when you’re on cloud nine, you wish you weren’t feeling guilty for feeling good.   The BCS hoopla comes down to the final day and USC choked. Earlier this season, I predicted that Ohio State would play Florida in the NATIONAL TITLE GAME and if the BCS machine does the job right and denies the idiotic rematch concept, I’ll be right. I can’t get the NFL picks right and I blew the Bored contest but at least I got this fucker.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

A Take on the Music Industry

"You've got to accept that results take time. If you're not in it for the long haul, you're going to be frustrated and give up.   "To open your heart to someone means exposing the scars of the past."   There's no sensation like having your heart warm up as you involuntarily start singing a song.   The rest of the world falls away. It's just you, your best self, reveling in how fucking great it is to be alive.   In this world with so many delights.In an era of loneliness, the musicians, the players, they're there for each other. They might not be rich in dollars, but in friendships, they're BILLIONAIRES!   Music is dope. Sell it that way. Get people hooked so they won't let go. One hopes to make music that will last forever. Ironically, you can only do this if you forget the future and do what feels right now.   If you're not testing the limits, life isn't worth living. Artistry is not something that can be quantified. Nor is it something that can be learned. Artists are born. And are developed outside the educational system.   Make music the hottest entertainment medium once again, not a national JOKE! It was because of the SOUND! It soothed us, it opened doors in our mind, it INSPIRED us. Then you hear a song and everything is right in the world.   Artistry. It's something innate, something that comes from within. It must be NURTURED, not KILLED!   Test the limits, touch people's souls, then you're an artist. Music has been around since the dawn of time, and will continue to exist, great records will be made. It's just that today music is not where it's at.   Singing songs to stay alive. Nobody really leaves home anymore. Nobody takes a risk. The concept of starting a new life on a whim, it doesn't even enter their brain. But that's what the old rock stars did. In patched together automobiles they made their way. Like a giant summer camp, musicians lived in different houses and journeyed to their friends' cabins, to hang out, get high and sing. There were no news crews. Not even any record companies at first. It was about lifestyle, not fame. And with this genesis, with the sixties values as a backdrop, the most enduring music of the rock era was created. Where's the music scene today? Where's the community of like-minded musicians in it for the tunes rather than the bucks? In an era where the buck is king. Everything's so sold out/whored out that there's no belief involved. It's just endless product. That is essentially meaningless. And without meaning, you've got no hooks, nothing to stick to the audience. Connecting with other people.   That's the guts of MySpace too, People want to meet others, they want to flirt, want to exchange information.   Where is the control in the music business? The music business is one way. We concoct it, you buy it, FUCK YOU! It's like the entire business missed it, the Internet revolution.   There's a community as strong as there was in Laurel Canyon, it's just virtual.   As for the acts exhibiting their wares on MySpace and other places on the Web, they've been exposed to twenty five years of MTV, they're experts on exploitation, but light on soul. The sale precedes the tune. Imaging is key. Everybody's got a business plan, nobody is growing his talent.   'Completely let go of the past, depended on it,Be ready to reinvent yourself. Live on absolutely nothing, knowing that all you've got is your experiences, and that your physical assets don't really count'   Don't feel bad if you don't get today's music. It doesn't have what the old tunes did. It doesn't have a sense of adventure, a sense of limit-testing, a sense of JOY! Because it's coming from a different place. It's hard to create a scene today. Because as soon as you've got a flame, the press fans it into a conflagration, and then it burns out almost instantly. You'd think the record companies would finally understand. Chasing the buck, they run acts up the flagpole and overexpose them again and again and again. Nothing is allowed to grow.   Acts are not allowed to percolate, growing their base a fan at a time.   And if you don't make the kind of music that's easily sold, if you're not willing to play ball with the corporate behemoth, you don't get to play at all.   Unlike in the late sixties and the early seventies, the act is not king, but the label. And the label likes this, feels entitled, for risk is anathema to these corporate entities. And, as delineated above, risk is primary to great art.   We all want something to believe in, something to live for. I ask you, with endless conventions, books about how to make it, institutionalized success paths, who can get excited?   Not only not the talent, but the audience either. Isn't it funny that everything kids get excited about is on the Web, built by their peers and populated with content they've created? And isn't it fascinating that the corporate behemoths have missed this every stop of the way, and can only get in by buying sites that could die tomorrow? You'd think MTV would own music on the Web, but with a corporate commercial viewpoint, the music video channel missed it. It's clear that the old days, the old systems are done. The structures are decaying, they're empty.   A new world is being built by young 'uns the same way young 'uns built the music scene in the last century, stealing the whole business from old farts.   I can't tell you what's coming. But I can tell you what we've got now is dead. Kaput."   Music Died. The thread in the music forum defined that in the lack of a movement other then niche cores and heartless corporate empires.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

seeking a home to bury these bones

I know it isn’t normal of me to follow up a blog so quickly but I was bored and I know I am coming down with something. Whatever trendy summer flu is around, it’s seeking a home to bury these bones.   I only get sick (really sick, not the sniffles or headaches) but the kind of sick that renders the toilet seat to be your lone comfort and essentially drains you, once every 2 years. Since I have a really bad feeling that it’s time for it again (last visit was winter 2004)…I went ahead and finished up as much work as I could today in preparation for the days I’ll miss. Luckily, we’re smooth sailing and my absence won’t detour things. The real bitch is?   I will obviously be using my sick days, I hate losing these. I was supposed to take a vacation with my gf sometime in the next month or so (naturally we haven’t planned a fucking thing), so that might be in jeopardy. I get paid vacation, but if im going to be off for a few days. I might have to X the trip.   I never get sick when It would benefit me.   It’s early this summer, but I am already thinking about college. I want to take a full semester of classes again but I can’t with work…I cant decide at this moment what is better for me… Pursuing my education or leaving it for a well paying job that I don’t enjoy. I’ll struggle with this (in)decision for the next two months until I finally decide.   -   It’s June 14th, and roughly that means it is basically the mid-way point of 2006 and I’ve made a rough edition of my BEST OF 2006 lists   Wrestler of the ½ Year 1. Bryan Danielson 2. Mysterio 3. Chris Benoit 4. Kurt Angle 5. Samoa Joe 6. KENTA 7. Austin Aries 8. Marufuji 9. Nigel McGuiness 10. Roderick Strong 11. Christopher Daniels 12. Finlay 13. Paul London 14. Homicide 15. Shawn Michaels   (After a down year, Benoit is back in form. Samoa Joe hasn't busted out his now annual 5* match but there is still 6 1/2 months left and the inevitable Danielson/Joe re-match. McGuiness is the biggest surprise this year as he has improved tremendously, which has to be attributed to his NOAH tours and his elevated efforts in ROH. Homicide will probably have a hot second half as his shoulder is healed and he's done with the blood feud with Cabana.   Match of the ½ Year   1. Blood Generation Vs DO-FIXER (3.31-Supercard of Honor)   2. Kurt Angle Vs The Undertaker (2.19-No Way Out)   3. Jack Evans and Roderick Strong Vs Briscoes (3.25-Best in the World)   4. Bryan Danielson and Samoa Joe Vs KENTA and Naomichi Marufuji (3.25-Best in the World)   5. Kurt Angle Vs Mysterio (6.2-Smackdown)   6. Chris Benoit Vs Finlay (5.21-Judgment Day)   7. Samoa Joe Vs AJ Styles Vs Christopher Daniels (2.12-Against all Odds)   8. Colt Cabana Vs Homicide (4.1-Better then Our Best)   9. Bryan Danielson Vs Roderick Strong (3.31-Supercard of Honor)   10. Mick Foley Vs Edge (4.2-WrestleMania 22)   11. Mysterio Vs Finlay (3.24-Smackdown)   12. Bryan Danielson Vs Nigel McGuiness(4.29-Weekend of Champions Night 2)   13. Jimmy Jacobs Vs BJ Whitmer (3.30-Dragon Date Challenge)   14. Samoa Joe Vs Christopher Daniels (4.13-iMPACT)   15. Randy Orton Vs Chris Benoit (1.27-Smackdown)   Surprisingly stronger year from WWE thus far then 2005.        

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The Office sucks and NFL picks.

Notes -I really don’t have anything in particular to “ramble” about.   My newfound relationship is going smoothly enough. Luckily, she has work tonight and most of tomorrow which means I can get some sleep as Im feeling really groggy or I can catch up on the recent ROH dvd’s I got the other day. On Sunday, we’re going to the art museum for a class project we’re doing together.   I started my new job at the auto-shop this afternoon, it’s Friday which means they actually don’t work much. I like that. I just set up my office, which is half the size of my previous office and it’s basically a desk, chair and a couple file cabinets. My old office had a TV, Fridge and plenty of pacing space. This office is right in the shop, so any hopes of closing the blinds and taking a, um “nap” is eliminated. I’ll get used to it. I also realized how disorganized the owner is.   The owner, took over for his brother who apparently has some health issues to take care of. The problem is, since he took over, he couldn’t keep track of the paperwork and when he did, he misplaced them. That’s my job. This allows him to just work in the shop. I already instituted a system that a monkey could follow, so my job shouldn’t be that hard.   My mother had her surgery this morning and is already home and despite being wiped out with painkillers, it went well and she’ll be fine. That’s good. This makes me the only member of my immediate family who hasn’t had some form of surgery in this calendar year. This, of course, means I just jinxed myself.   Since I did modestly well last week doing this, I’ll give more NFL Picks. This is spread-free. Which is why my picks will alter here from my picks in KKK’s deal.     Arizona @ Atlanta -Atlanta is coming off a really embarrassing lost to New Orleans. Losing to a emotionally charged Saints isn’t embarrassing but their performance was. Arizona has the quarterback controversy they were expected to have already and it’s a guessing game to say who will actually start as they have already flip-flopped but it appears that Warner is still at the helm, for the time being. Doesn’t matter, Arizona has a lot of problems and Atlanta will be motivated here.   Arizona 14 Atlanta 27   Dallas @ Tennessee -Tennessee has similar issues as Arizona regarding their veteran and rookie QB. The problem for Tennessee is that they have no real targets offensively.   As for Dallas? What issues do they have? Well, just a statute for a QB and a WR that can’t keep himself out of the news even when he wasn’t trying. That being said, whatever Owens status will be for the game, Dallas should manage the hapless Titans   Dallas 27 Tennessee 13   Indianapolis @ New York -The Jets are making a good case for a 2nd place, 6-10/7-9 record season, which would be an upgrade from the preseason expectations but this is a game that should give Manning a chance to shake a bad performance last week.   Indianapolis 38 New York 20   Miami @ Houston -Miami, really isn’t good. SI lied. Houston, is Houston. Pick your poison.   Miami 9 Houston 16   Minnesota @ Buffalo -Minnesota hung tough against a very good Chicago team while Buffalo let a good opportunity slip through their hands last weekend. I like Minnesota here.   Minnesota 24 Buffalo 6   New Orleans @ Carolina -New Orleans is coming off a seriously emotional win that they needed to provide the city with. Carolina has STEVE SMITH! STEVE SMITH! STEVE SMITH! Back and that is a crucial element. I think New Orleans is for real but I still think Carolina has this one. I think it’ll be a fantastic game here.   New Orleans 17 Carolina 21   San Diego @ Baltimore -This could be a big litmus test for both teams as each team collides with a legitimate team for once. I think the combination of San Diego’s potent offense and very good defense can overcome Baltimore’s great defense and vastly over hyped offense.   San Diego 16 Baltimore 7   San Francisco @ Kansas City -KC has looked bad but San Francisco is San Francisco.   Kansas City 42 San Francisco 13   Detroit @ St. Louis -I’m almost tempted to take Detroit. However, I’ll be conservative and pick St. Louis.   Detroit 13 St. Louis 21   Cleveland @ Oakland -A horrible game that should be completely ugly or insanely awesome in it’s suck.   Cleveland 10 Oakland 6   Jacksonville @ Washington -A very smash mouth game here. It could swing either way.   Jacksonville 14 Washington 10   New England @ Cincinnati -Cincinnati is clicking on all cylinders. New England looks lost out there and most teams are starting to figure them out. That being said, New England could be a trap game as they are coming off a headache with Thurman, looking forward to the bye week that’s followed by a MURDEROUS stretch of games and NE, apparently hasn’t lost consecutive games in over 55+ games, or something. I think Cincinnati still has it.   New England 13 Cincinnati 21   Seattle @ Chicago -This is a very important game. Chicago struggled against a good team in Minnesota, now they got a more loaded team. The defense of Chicago should have no problem confusing Hasselback. I’ll take a close game here. Probably a FG game.   Seattle 13 Chicago 17   Green Bay @ Philadelphia -I’d like to think Green Bay gained some momentum but I think Philly still holds a moderate edge on Green Bay but Favre usually shines on MNF. I think he’ll have a fantastic game but the special teams will hurt Green Bay   Green Bay 27 Philadelphia 35

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Home. Her Parents. Baseball

I’m still groggy. Not physically, but more mentally. Lethargic, is probably the most appropriate description. It comes and goes, always has for me. Usually there’s a trigger but in this instance, I’m happy in theory (new job, steady new relationship that is still fresh, doing great in school).   I even redesigned/arranged my room out of complete boredom. It made me wonder, while a good move financially to leave the campus and stay home. I think it had more psychological damage then I had anticipated. I got out and I just ended right back here.   It’s not like I’m 27 and still living at home, but I always felt you should be gone by 21 at the latest. That milestone is very close.   I have a solid relationship with my parents, although it can slip into standard family theatrics from time to time but that’s probably a given for all paternal situations until a 3rd generation comes along and you figure out exactly what they were doing.   Speaking of parents, Allison is pushing to do the “meet my parents” routine sometime soon, just to get it out of the way. I understand where she’s coming from, but she has a very tumultuous relationship with them, which always means as the new boyfriend, I’m basically fucked right out the gate or that I’ll really have to shine.   Oddly enough, I’m not rushing to have her meet my parents despite my good relationship with them and that I already know my parents adore her just by my descriptions and pictures.   To be fair, my mother “loved” all my girlfriends in the past. Except one, which was a doozy of a situation that I couldn’t even begin to cover in a simple blog.   My father’s take? “Get it while you can”. He is, if nothing, a man of simplicity.   I balanced my work schedule for Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoon (noon-5). That’s not a lot of hours, but it’s a pretty fucking easy job.     Maybe not easy for MECCA, but for any general worker with focus. It’s a office role but without politics. It’s almost a perk to get paid for it.   So, fuck NFL picks. This weekend was a total catastrophe for me and the local team.   This week we’re going into a deluge of endless Evil TO Vs Sir Donovan F McNabb Of Philadelphia   I’d auto-block ESPN but it just so happens to be the start of the MLB Playoffs.     Quickie predictions   National League San Diego Vs St. Louis -St. Louis, completely fell ass backwards into the playoffs but to assume they will roll over and die is a mistake. Pujols will extend this to at least 4 games   San Diego in 4.   Los Angeles Vs New York -Offensively, I love NY. LA has the pitching match up. This could be either a fantastic tight series or a collection of blow-outs.   New York in 5.   American League Minnesota Vs Oakland -I really like Minnesota but I think the bandwagon might topple over on the way to Oakland. That being said, Santana will go twice and get it done there.   Minnesota in 5.   Detroit Vs New York -Detroit suffered a similar fate as St. Louis and actually squandered the division title on the last day of the season, which was ridiculous. Like it’s NL counterpart, the Yankees have a questionable pitching staff but it’ll rely on it’s offensive explosiveness to out-muscle the Tigers.   New York in 4.   NLCS San Diego 4 New York 3   ALCS Minnesota 4 New York 2   World Series San Diego 1 Minnesota 4

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Jimmy Loves Lacey

I decided to stop the personal bitchy-emo fest of my own and wanted to focus on this excellent piece of awesomeness.   The Ballad of Lacey   In case you don't know what that is, it's a hilarious music video of Jimmy Jacobs's love for Lacey. The video alone is worth checking out the entire storyline has been a fresh burst of energy for the wrestling business.   While Vince McMahon and Triple H are destroying the babyfaces on Raw, Kurt Angle looking like a third wheel in the Mania program despite being the champion...   You have this wonderful simplistic story that used the modern-day technologies of the Internet to advance storylines. It's a classic storyline "Wrestler falls for another girl, girl has no interest in him. Wrestler's blind love gets his ass kicked". What this does was add a intentionally hilarious take-off of that storyline, Jimmy Jacobs was already perfectly over the top at the shows, so much that he intentionally botched a top rope spot to put over the storyline.   The lyrics to this song is a perfect blend of kayfabe and using IWC terms (the market that it's intended for).   Jimmy Jacobs did all of this on his own, the video, the myspace and to really live out the storyline....He even stays in character on AIM.   Right now, his away message reads "I <3 Lacey.". In a business where the top name in charge of the biggest monoply loves to shoot on national programing, you got guys like Jimmy Jacobs staying in character and using his own creativity to propel this storyline.   This proves that if you let a wrestler be in charge of his character and gimmick, he will know what to do with it better then most writers ever do. The WWE and TNA, really don't have a handle on this. WWE could use creativity like this, in a big way.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

New TV Shows and random stuff.

Random Stuff   Meet The Parents Tomorrow night is the whole meet the parents thing. I’m fairly relaxed about this, its supposed to be brief, but after about 8 years of doing the “meet the parents” routine, it never is. I’ve been successful enough at this task in previous tries, so I think I have a decent enough handle on what to do and not to do. I wanted to do this over dinner somewhere in public, but the set-up is at her parent’s house. All I’ve been given about her parents (since they are so distant from each other) is that dad is a consultant for some law firm and the mother is a manager of some dog toy company. That’s it. I don’t understand how you live with someone for 17 years and don’t anything about them aside from their occupation.   That is a trait I adore about her (her independence and lack of needing), usually only child’s are emotionally attached to parents or demanding of attention.   Kroger Raffle Apparently, a few weeks ago, I entered some raffle at Kroger’s (grocery store, for those who aren’t aware) and I got an call from yesterday them letting me know that I was the winner of a $100 gift certificate. Why is it that I win these meaningless raffles that I don’t even remember putting my name in for, but I never win those fucking gift baskets at the local carnivals.   New Car I was supposed to get a new car, I thought in September but the month went by and I never came close to looking. I really don’t need a new car, I’m still driving that my old car that my sister finally gave back to me and it’s still good and everything. I just have this desire for a new one and it’s not even a specific car in particular.   The Job It’s almost a crime to make good money doing virtually nothing. It’s like a government job.   Cory Lidle Six days ago, Yankee fans didn’t even care about Cory Lidle (if they had even remembered him to begin with) but now there is this great outpouring of grief and sadness because of his death, which occurred in an unlikely circumstance. I still need to know when something can be called “tragic” and when it can be referred to as “freak accident”. Are we not allowed to use that term anymore? Is it another victim of PC America?   It sucks for his family, team-mates and friends but as a whole, a collective nation of strangers, let’s drop the emotional tears and just let it be. It’s only a story because of the profession of the victim.   Besides, we’re finding out that the guy wasn’t nearly as experienced as he claimed to be and someone that inexperienced shouldn’t have been in flight during those weather conditions.     TV Shows -There are a lot of new television shows out there today and already some are getting axed but here’s a quick review of the shows I’ve covered…   Fox Justice -It’s a decent enough show that is loaded with unlikable characters and over-the-top directive with tacky gimmick laden camera effects and very loose holes. D+   Vanished -Just one of the new shows to revolve around a kidnapping and like the other shows with this theme, it’s struggling. This one struggles with a horrible cast, shaky plot and wide open logic gaps. This is just off two weeks of viewing. I can’t imagine how much worse it got and the rating free-fall gives me an idea.. D-   Standoff -I like this show only for the two main characters but the rest of the show is completely generic, boring and uninspired. C.   ‘Til Death -This has been a weak season for new comedies and this one is a leading cause. Brad Garrett isn’t leading man material and the comedy has been atrocious. It’s getting a push because of Brad Garrett but thankfully, Garrett will follow Jason Alexander’s footsteps. F   NBC Heroes -This has been a good hit for NBC and they needed one like this. Loaded with intriguing characters, interesting plot developments and superb special effects, this show is clicking. It’s going to be a fun time seeing where these characters are going and how they get there and once they do, what happens. A.   Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip -The West Wing, set backstage of a fictional SNL-type sketch comedy show. That alone is wacky enough but throw in an proverbial all-star cast and writer and you might have something. It’s still missing something but it’s getting there (but it better move fast before the ratings continue to drop). I still fail to see why a sketch show is so important to this fictitious network. In the show within itself, it’s called a SNL rip-off. So when America doesn’t care about SNL anymore, why should we care about a show about the backstage world of SNL? Great show, great characters, great actors and good writing is strong enough for now but it’ll need to grab something sooner or later. B+   Friday Night Lights -Probably the BEST new drama on TV right now and it’s getting ignored because NBC decided to put it in a death slot against DWTS, Baseball, and House. This show would have benefited being held off until mid-season for Sunday nights, where it’s ideal to replace FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA once the NFL season is over.   It also suffers because many interested viewers will have already read the book or/and seen the movie and that isn’t helping people get into a TV version. The show itself is greatly built and executed. A+   30 Rock -Another show about a fictional sketch show, only this one is a 30 minute version, has less comedic moments and its one appealing character will be a part-time edition. I’m expected to watch a show that forces Tracy Morgan, one of the worse actors of our time to carry a show alongside Tina Fey? Alec Baldwin, deserves better. C-   Kidnapped -Probably the biggest bust of the new season, although it’ll actually finish out it’s ordered 13 episodes on the death cloud of Saturday. Everything about this show was just unlikable. The kid wasn’t cute or interesting enough for us to concern ourselves. D.   ABC The Nine -A great show hurt tremendously by the morons in charge of the schedule. It gets the LOST lead-in but that’s more of a negative then anything. LOST is a complex show that drives that fan base around like a roller coaster and you can’t expect them to stick around for another 60 minutes of. Great show that I hope sticks around. B+   Ugly Betty -The biggest new hit and I’m surprised that I like this. Originally, I felt this would be short-lived but it’s very engaging with a fantastic cast that is entertaining. It’s light, comedic and has good plot. It’s a huge diversion from the complex serialized shows flooding the airwaves. B.     CBS The Class -The pilot was atrocious , which is a shame because the following episodes were pretty solid. It still has character overkill and could use a little cutting but they have 5 very likable characters that can carry the show. If they keep things on those five, the show could have legs. C+   Smith -It’s already gone which is a shame because I felt it was a good show and Im surprised it didn’t capitalize off NCIS/Unit for the lead-in. I’m not surprised it was canceled, but just so early. Which they could have gone 13 episodes and wrapped up the bank robbery angle. C.   Jericho -As good as Smith was, Jericho is that bad. Which explains why this show is getting an audience. I only watched the pilot and I couldn’t take it anymore. D-   Shark -The early reviews said it was “House in Court” and it was DEAD on. Shark isn’t as great a character like House, though. This show is basically James Woods eating up the camera and loving it and that’s all I need from this show. Neglect the horrible support cast, the boring case stories…just 60 minutes of James Woods. B-.   CW Runaway -Luckily, this show is on the CW and it can coast a little longer with the pitiful ratings. It’s a shame because this is another good show with a good cast and premise. It’s a little heavy on the teen side of things but it’s a WB show, what’d you expect but the adults are good here. B.   Football Picks None this week. I fucking suck and I have no will to go through another worthless display.    

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Before Mania...

I thought about writing out some long rant against WM22 tonight, describing my apathy towards it...   Then I realized... I spent the last few weeks already displaying that sentiment. What else could I really add? I don't think it'll be a horrible show, I really don't. It won't be special though. It could have **** matches out the ass and It still wouldn't feel special because I haven't been given a reason to give a shit other then "It's fucking Mania".       I'll give quick predictions on each match   Triple H Vs John Cena Winner: Triple H Time: 24:45 Rating:**1/4   Rey Mysterio Vs Kurt Angle Vs Randy Orton Winner: Rey Mysterio Time: 17:30 Rating:***1/2   Hard-Core Match: Edge Vs Mick Foley Winner: Edge Time: 13:00 Rating:**3/4   Vince McMahon Vs HBK Winner: HBK Time: 20:30 Rating:***   Money in the Bank Winner: Flair Time: 18:00 Rating:***3/4   Trish Stratus Vs Mickie James Winner: Mickie James Time: 8:20 Rating:**1/4   Chris Benoit Vs JBL Winner: JBL Time: 13:50 Rating: ***3/4   TBS/Kane Vs Carlito/Masters Winner: Carlito and Masters (DQ) Time: 5:30 Rating: *1/4   Torrie Vs Candice Winner: Candice Time: Too long Rating:DUD   Boogeyman Vs The T's Winner: Boogeyman Time: 3:45 Rating:*1/4   Undertaker Vs Mark Henry Winner: Undertaker Time: 10:25 Rating:*3/4     They probably throw Mexi-Cools Vs MnM on the pre-show.   I'll have complete response to the show, probably tommorow morning.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

The Bachelor Party

The Bachelor Party   So yesterday was the bachelor party and it wasn’t really all that bad, at least better then I had anticipated.   Originally, the plan was round of golf, Reds game, dinner, strip club. However, the head guy in charge was under the impression that the Reds had an afternoon game yesterday, that wasn’t the case. So plans were slightly altered but not significantly. Instead of meeting for golf early, we pushed our tee time back to 12:50. This allowed me to take my usual Thursday morning classes and since the campus is only 15 minutes away from the course, it wasn’t an inconvenience to me or anyone.   Involved in this event were myself, my sister’s fiancé (Josh), his father(a nice guy all in all but too much effort trying to be “one of the guys”, but he covered the entire thing), Josh’s two cousins, Mike and Ryan, his co-worker Jones(never got his first name) and Josh’s best man, Grant. The problem for me was aside from not knowing any of these guys aside from my brother in law (a term I still can’t verbally say) was that I was the youngest and only one not married. 5 married guys to one young punk kid.   First was golf, Grant’s father apparently was a top guy at this “upscale private club” but if you ask me, this course didn’t seem any different from the public course down the street from me. The only difference was the pungent aroma of arrogance and thievery. Let’s be clear that I hate Golf.   As a viewer, and especially as a player, this was only the second time that I played a round of golf that didn’t involve a magical castle and a windmill. I was shocked how I played, especially compared to these other supposed avid golfers. That being said, the old man killed us and deservedly so. The problem with Golf, in my mind is that it forces you to communicate because there is a lot of down time in the process. That’s the number one reason I hate this sport, it’s 90% walking, 5% analyzing and 5% action. So with four married guys busting on Josh about getting married, I was obviously uncertain how to act but eventually you figure it out. You gotta find an “in” and things become less awkward. By the 10th hole, things were going smoothly. We finished up and headed to the clubhouse where we had a few sandwiches and drinks. This lasted a couple hours and I hate to admit it, but I was enjoying it. Sure, they were obnoxious but that was a part of the clubhouse charm, I suppose.     We decided that we all had a vested interest in the Miami/Pittsburgh game, so since my place was the only open place that night…that’s where w headed to watch the game as we grilled steak and they all had some beers. This was good for me because I had an Art Concepts test this morning and I wanted to study. At the tail end of the game, we gathered up and headed to a strip club not too far from us. I’ve covered my feelings on strip clubs before but I’ll say it again…   I get it, but seriously, what is so damn appealing about a woman dancing nakedly in front of you? While these girls were all above average, there’s a deluge of higher quality girls at school who walk around just as teasingly in tight shorts and reveling tops that leave much more to the imagination.   That being said, I did enjoy watching the others continue to drink themselves stupid and loved watching them convert into human ATM’s, I’m proud to say that I kept my money in my wallet. I pay enough money on girls as it is, at least there the possibility of sex is 100% greater and desired.   In regards to the strippers themselves, the highlight was my brother in law dancing on stage with the “Lovely Mariella”; unfortunately I left my cell at the house. So no incriminating pictures exist. I left the table and headed to the back and struck up a cordial conversation with the club owner, who surprisingly was less sleazy then I had imagined. Here’s the clue in strip club “adventures”, girls will usually target the quiet ones. Why? They are more likely to be cautious and willing to hold onto their money for the bigger prize, instead of the guy’s right up against the stage. The real main event acts aren’t the ones on stage. Despite my persistence, a particular dancer by the name of Heather (tall, blonde and well enhanced) kept “seducing” me. It took her some time to get the hint but eventually she stopped with the hard sell. It was there she dropped the act and just sat with me at the bar and we just had a casual conversation. Meanwhile, I kept a close eye on my comrades and I figured they had all they could take. Of course, I was the lone sober fool. Somehow, I roped them into the car and I took each one of them straight home.   Today is the rehearsal dinner extravaganza. That should be fine; I always enjoy a fine meal that isn’t on my bill. What’s weird is though is that I’m starting to feel awkward about the idea of my sister getting married. I’m happy for her but it’s strange to know that in just under 36 hours from now…her identity changes.   The wedding should be interesting though, as I’m flying solo (although I considered asking an ex but figured against that). I’ve said many times that weddings are the best places to meet someone and I’ve been informed that the quality will be nice but I’m not looking to fuck some random girl, at least for right now. If the timing is right and the mood is set, then yes, wedding sex is on.   Before the drinking started, Josh asked me about writing the vows and knowing that I am a pretty damn good writer with impeccable ability to say the right things, he confided in me about his fear of writing these vows, and typical male that he is, he had waited ‘til the night before. Love is the one thing that is easiest to write about…but hardest to express. All I could say is that “Love isn’t an empty truth…’. He truly loves my sister and I’m fairly confident that he’ll know the words when the time comes.   Now, that leaves me to be the last in the whole family to be unmarried. That’ll be the hot topic at the reception, me being next in line. You just gotta fake a smile and play along with the game.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Wine and knocked up girls.

Grace is doing pretty good and has adjusted to being home again and back to her usual routine despite the hindrance of the cone/funnel contraption to prevent her from tending to the wound that is still pretty deep and probably won’t fully heal for awhile.     Saturday afternoon/evening, I went with Allison to a birthday party for one of her cousins. Generally, she doesn’t care about any of her family members and wouldn’t make the effort to even attend a cousin’s 25th birthday party. However, it just so happened that this cousin is the only family member that is close with enough to actually care about their birthday. Because of my apparent requirements in my role, I had to attend this party. The dinner took place at this vineyard steak house that actually wasn’t too far from me but this was one of those places that charged $35(single) for a lousy steak and bottle of home-grown and supposedly great quality wine.   What made it even more preposterous was that you grilled the steak yourself on an enclosed patio (which sounds nice in the summer, but not with 40 degree weather). The idea was that you prepare and cook the steak to your liking. Sorry, but I’m fine with trusting the allegedly trained chefs doing the hard-work.   While I didn’t care for the price of the meal all that much and of course, I covered her as well. (I’m 95% certain, that I only landed this because I actually saved my money unlike most 20 year old college kids in addition to being handy in most situations. I figure this is what most marriages are founded on, so I imagine I have no choice but to just embrace this) I enjoyed the meal and we received a complimentary reservation from some girl (whom I believe was a friend of the guest of honor) who has a “cozy” bed and breakfast upstate and I got confirmation from others at the party that this isn’t a dump and is a rather pleasant B&B. Maybe I’m showing signs of being frugal again but I’m not getting the concept of driving 3-4 hours to spend the night in a glorified hotel with a cutesy breakfast diner. I mean, yeah, it’s just an romantic way of fucking but I don’t get the point of the effort. (The bed and breakfast, I mean). Anyways, I’m sure I’ll be dragged to this soon enough. Just shut my mouth and do what Im told.   Here’s the problem with dating someone else when it’s still young, learning all these people’s names and bothering to care about their existence. According to my father, he dated my mother forever and even years into their marriage, he never bothered to really learn everyone in her family's name and I say kudos to him in this regard but everyone is so goddamn sensitive in her family that one wrong name will upset the balance of their lives. I had uncles that called me “Junior” or “Kid” for years because they never cared to learn my actual name and I’m cool with that.   When we first started, I figured she was exaggerating how pretentious her family was but if anything, she undersold them as I’m learning along the way. I don’t like these people. Not in that “they make me nervous because I know they know that I’m banging their grand-child/niece/daughter” sense but rather a genuine dislike of them. My family, well, my parents at least (since she hasn’t met the extended family) really like her and that’s great because she adores my mother and they get along great together. I should be happy about this but if anything, I’m cautious now.   After the dinner concluded and we all made our separate ways, I said goodbye to her as she headed to work, I went down to my office to pick up some stuff that I left there and I found one of the guys in the shop doing a side job. This wasn’t a big deal, side-jobs aren’t frowned upon as long as it doesn’t interfere with business hours. He was doing some custom work to this pick up and we started chatting around and such. The owner of the truck comes in and much to my surprise, it so happens to belong to the guy that knocked up my old best friend from high school (I’m fairly sure that I mentioned this awhile back).   I kept up with her over the past few months with the occasional AIM convo but this was the first time I met the father and I only recognized him from pictures she had shown me. I introduced myself to him and he figured out who I was rather quickly.   This was awkward to say the least. He was doing the right thing and was sticking with her and helping her with the pregnancy and will be an involved father although they have no intention of remaining together. However, the girl was my best friend for years and to be honest, I loved her more then anyone else for a very long time and I still care for her, which I supposed I always will. I wanted to hate this guy for what he did, even if I knew that she was as much to fault as anyone. I couldn’t, he was a good guy and I had some measure of respect for him to least be man enough to be there. I made the promise of going to see her soon before she has the kid but it seems the timing is never right but its something I need to do, especially since it’s due pretty soon.   I finally had a duel good week in both the football pick'ems and thats good because I strive for being mediocre as possible.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

'Don't You wonder what could have been?

I would like to assume that people read my aptly titled, 'ramblings' because they have a interest in my content or because there's not much content to be found around these parts. Either way...   I noticed a theme regarding my comments, from the wise men of TSM and their sage words. You haven't yet begun". It's true, I guess. I am only 20 and supposedly that earns me at least 8-10 more years of sheer stupidity before I finally wake up and realize it.   I was thinking this morning, while I was working, about my friend. The friend, who unquestionably has seen her life take a dramatic change by one little action.   Made me wonder, there was a time that me and her were seemingly destined for something beyond friendship and it was apparently impossible to not see, according to everyone else.     Obviously, that world isn't going to happen now. (Child or no child).   Here is the thing that is crushing me at this moment, why don't I care? She was my best friend and her world is changing now and I can't find it in me, to feel anything. Not even, sympathy.   The thing that is on my mind constantly...Is missing that one girl. My best friend, the one who rescued me from drowning in my pool of misery last summer and gave me new blood.   I miss her...intensely. We never had that straight-forward 'break-up'. It's hard to say if we were ever your classic boyfriend/girlfriend but it was something magical in its own right. She's off hours away from here. I saw her a couple weeks ago and despite one incredible night...it just reminded us that we're not together.   I know I'm out most people's league. I'm fairly average, at best. I don't posess anything that is seemingly desirable for a girl, much less this incredible blond beauty who completely lives up to the cliche of "shines her light on you". My last two girlfriends (her and my most recent ex) were completely incredible and I probably set the bar freaking high now. Of course, one cheated on me. The other, had to leave me.   Maybe that is poetic justice, get the right girl but that girl will be gone before I am ready. I wonder if me and my best friend/lover didn't have this distance between us...would we be still special or does the distance enhance this perfect feeling that she gives me.   I wonder, if my ex did us a favor first...because I know I would have made her cry instead and I'd rather cry a river before I ever let a tear shed down her cheeks.   Another close friend of mine, told me "You are too busy solving our problems for you to even realize, the only question is you"   The scary thing is? The goddamn asshole is right. The only thing I cant answer is myself.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Mother, Mother

Change the world, one by one   When I graduated high school, after collecting piles of envelopes stuffed with cash from uncles and aunts and the rest of the family circle, My mother handed me this box.   It was a leather box and inside it was this small card about the size of an index and it read that. The box had belonged to my grandfather, who died before I was born and she handed it down to me as I was the first male in her side of the family to graduate high school.   I know it's trendy to hate your parents and pretend like they don't matter but it's bullshit. They do mean something, for better or for worse. Maybe I was one of those lucky few in this world but I actually like my parents. Not because I have to but because they are genuinely good people with good hearts who care about the important things in life (love, family etc). I've been blessed to have a father who made a good living for me and my older sister and a devoted mother who I consider a friend more then a mother. My girlfriends have also felt like she was a friend more then a mother. She is the kind of person you can talk to for hours about anything. Its sad that alot of people are afraid of their parents, and for that I'll never understand it. Get to know where you came from.   Today is Hallmark's big day to celebrate mothers. Just another beautiful thing (motherhood) that Hallmark has raped.   ----   Apparently I'm over in Leena and Tekcop's world. That's good company. I'm just me, and unlike 95% of this place...I'm not a gimmick looking for attention and jockeying for a spot on the social status here. So I'm content as #3 on Leena's list.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Turkey Day Blog Extravaganza

We have a lot of holidays in this country. Most are ignored unless its one of those special ones that grants us the day off work or school. I am particularly fond of Christmas for a variety of reasons. Thanksgiving, however? Never have seen the purpose for it nor cared much. In this day and age, the purpose of thanksgiving seems meaningless as we’re all self consumed with bloating ourselves to such ridiculous waist lines or dieting down to extreme lows. Which further reduces this holiday from being a celebration feast of togetherness that it was once supposedly according to ancient history books.   Basically, all it really is now is a forced gathering of family members often against their will in the efforts to keep up with the pretense of a outdated tradition. I know there’s some people out there who have no problem with the idea of seeing distant family members across the table and perhaps, even anticipate it. I happen to live fairly close to all my relatives, which I greatly appreciate because it prevents me from having to travel much distance for these forced family gatherings but of course, I dread this because it forces more opportunities to occur.   My thanksgiving schedule is fairly simple. Dinner on Wednesday night with my intermediate family that breaks down into a routine dinner and ends with whatever movie we randomly select. Thursday, I head down to my aunt’s not to far from here and have a brief lunch with my father’s family, which are full of bored, uninteresting and thusly, pleasant people. You know what you’re getting with them (food, same old conversation and boredom).   Usually, I would follow that up by heading literally down the street to my mother’s family but traditions have changed for me as I will be going to Allison’s family at her parent’s house. She’s coming on Wednesday night, so at least we’re both doing the whole family thing but she gets the intermediate family, that’s only 8 people. I’m getting over 30 people that I hardly know or ever met at all. I still think this is moving way to fast. We’re just leapfrogging levels that I never knew existed. Usually, I have to control a relationship, or the relationship is never balanced because one is too dependant but this one is completely different.   We’re equal in this, either needs the other. We each work a lot but don’t use that as an excuse. I’m still not quite sure how I made this work. I’m a fairly alright looking guy, I’ve probably done far greater with girls then I ever had the right to. I don’t believe in the idiotic concept of “levels” in regards to peoples standing with others. That being said, there is some merit to the fact that some people are just too good for someone else. In looks, social standing, money or whatever. In this case, probably all of it. She’s beautiful, I’m cute at best. She’s popular with loads of friends, while I’m a complete introvert who doesn’t trust people. She’s a trust fund baby, I’ve been working on my own for the past few years. That aside, we clicked instantly and for whatever differences we have, it works.   This Thursday is the debut of the NFL Network airing their first live telecast of a game. It’ll be between Kansas City and Denver. Earlier that day, Miami/Detroit and Dallas/Tampa. Yeah, the only remotely interesting game is the NFL network game. I wouldn’t mind watching that game. However, I won’t because TW refuses to broker a deal with the NFL Network.   Time Warner provides a good overall service for me with their package but they have annoying practices. They literally waited until the day before the launch of the new CW network to even cave in and stick them onto a triple digit channel for a couple months before complaints grew about morons not finding the channel, so they kicked one of the many public broadcasting stations to the side.   TW doesn’t appear to be budging at all and the local community is growing angry about this as this means we won’t get Bengals coverage (whom play on this network). Its bullshit from both sides of the table. Oh, the big deal right now is the Kramer story. Why? He threw the N word. Can you really be surprised? He has to walk around for the rest of his life being called “Kramer”. Now, he can just be known as “that racist fucking Jew”.   Funny, how the one main character on that show that managed to have any post Seinfeld career was the least interesting one. Seinfeld has basically gone around doing the occasional tour with insane ticket prices but generally staying out of the limelight. He’s a genius. George had about 10 failed sitcom attempts since then. Kramer had one as well that I don’t think lasted beyond 2 episodes and now he’s forever known for that tirade.   It’s all a desperate ploy anyways and we all brought it. His ticket sales will skyrocket. Maybe it’s a new crowd demographic but money’s money baby.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Weekend of Honor and Speed

It’s been awhile…   This was a busy weekend for me and it started Friday night as I attended the Ring of Honor show in Dayton. As far as ROH shows go, this was fairly solid but nothing out of this world (probably will be best known for Brent Albright’s debut with the company and another fantastic edition to the Delirious/Sydal series) I covered my reactions and thoughts in the thread so I won’t bother to go over here because anyone that really cared to begin with already seen it and I’d hate to bore my loyal and bored fan base with a detailed report of a independent wrestling promotion’s live show.   I woke up Sunday morning with a slight fever which was abnormal for me to feel in the fall, while most people are rocked with sickness during the season swirl, I tend to avoid it but instead of lying in bed and taking in the football action, I was getting into my car with my girlfriend Allison to Salem, Indiana. Salem, is basically the middle of fucking nowhere with a Wal-Mart, two gas stations and the main attraction, which was where we were heading, Salem Motor Speedway.   Her uncle (Brian), whom she wasn’t particularly close to, is a part-time race car driver and she thought since I’m fairly knowledgeable on automotive nature and a slight interest in auto racing that I would enjoy spending a warm afternoon with her uncle’s pit crew. I didn’t want to go but you don’t really have a choice in the matter when she tells (forces) you. The race was scheduled to start at 1:00 and let me explain the concept of this particular race. If you follow auto racing or seen it on television, it’s nothing like that. 87 cars were entered into this race on a ½ mile track. Essentially, it was a guaranteed traffic jam at 90 mph. Her uncle, whom I had never met before had drawn the pole position (since it’d a nightmare to qualify nearly 100 cars on speed, they were slotted via random lottery drawing). Apparently, starting anywhere near the front wasn’t a good thing and especially so for her uncle as he had an admittedly piece of shit car. Her uncle had been out of the racing for nearly 3 years to this point but a couple weeks ago gotten a call from a former partner that he lost his driver and needed someone local to fill in.     He was once an accomplished driver with great success and a somewhat local celebrity and he obviously missed the action. We arrived to his pit box and by pit box, I mean section of gravel marked “88” (his #). This was an old track that had seen better days but it still packed a big crowd for this race. Most of the drivers were similar to her uncle, weekend warriors just looking for some fun but there were many serious local drivers with big money backing. This had a winner take all purse and that was part of the motivation but the main lure was the idea of tight racing for 200 laps against the high banked walls. I was introduced to him and he was a tall, long blonde haired guy with leathery skin to match his laid back disposition. I found it bewildering how someone could be so relaxed knowing that in just a few minutes, he’s going to have 85+ cars breathing down his neck at high speed.   After I met the rest of his crew which were mostly his friends, I took a seat with Allison whom was already getting met with catcalls and distant flirtations from other pit crews nearby since she had worn tight shorts and a track jacket for the breezy warm afternoon. Despite that, it was still a pretty friendly environment as you would see teams sharing tools or covering strategy (for this race, it was basically, avoid the wrecks and survive). Just moments before the race was to start, the uncle came right up and sized me up and said with an insistent tone “Hey, you’re a good built kid. My gas man is a no-show and I need a guy to load me on the stops…” and I didn’t even stop to think but I accepted. I don’t know if I did it because I actually wanted to or if I was just trying to impress him by my willingness. I got a quick crash course from his crew chief on what to do. All I had to do was carry a 50lb gas can across the designated line and pour the entire can into the tank, all in 20 seconds time.   The race started and surprisingly, we maintained our front start despite such a piss-poor car. We were clearly slower then most of the field but he was an experienced driver and managed to hold people off. I was into the race, but what really got me excited was feeling Allison standing right beside me just mere inches and a thick wall between us and the roaring cars. She could’ve dropped back and sat in the comfort of the shade with the other girlfriends and wives but she stood by me knowing that I was somewhat nervous about my task.   It wasn’t a difficult job but as the laps passed, it became increasingly obvious that when he would make his mandatory pit stop, that it would be crucial. We were shooting to just finish the race but our unexpected performance changed our plans as he had a definite top 10 car with an outside shot at victory if the chips fell in place. We got the signal he was coming in and that’s when the nerves disappeared, I went over and grabbed the tank and stood behind the line as the pit officials made sure no one stepped over until the car had made a full stop. Rolling in at 45 mph, the car slammed into the box and we rushed over and pushed by pure adrenaline, I held the can up as I heard him barking out commands “Tighten the spoiler!, New breather!” and it was all foreign to me but I remained steady feeling the weight of the can drop dramatically and without warning, the car jerked away as I managed to pull the can out in time purely on instinct. After we celebrated a fantastic stop that kept the car alive in the top ten, I went over to her as she held the empty can and she smiled with a kiss, whispered “You’re gassy” and burst out in laughter but I was concerned after realizing I had spilt fuel onto myself that would be an issue but I was assured that it was common to have spillage and it was alright. At this point, any feelings of unease from my fever this morning had vanished in the warm air.   Things kept going well and I continued having a great time feeling the breeze sweep through me as the cars marched through. A feeling of pride snuck in despite having done nothing except pour gas into a tank. 25 laps were left in the race and we sustained our hold onto a top ten finish until after avoiding them all day (and there were a lot of them) a wreck occurred right in the front of the lead pack which included us and as the car dove down to avoid contact, the right rear tire blew and we had to make an emergency pit stop.   Once again, we stood by the line waiting for his arrival and I held the can once again, it was lighter as we only needed to top it off just a touch. Another successful stop followed but we fallen out of the top ten into the faint end of the lead lap cars in 31st. With 15 laps to go after the caution cleared, we worried because the car was good at holding place but not in advancing. The laps kept ticking down and we weren’t having much luck and only moved up a small amount. We needed another caution in hopes to use our good restart ability to pick up more spots but it never came. The white flag to signify the final lap dropped down as we were virtually locked in 23rd place. As a whole this was a complete moral victory to even finish the race (87 started, 39 finished) but to know that we had a guaranteed top 10 finish and lost it because of a lousy blown tire after missing loads of wrecks didn’t sit well with us.   All in all, it was an unexpectedly good experience for the both of us. I’m still surprised at how comfortable she felt as she is an admitted snob but after I got a big stamp of approval from her uncle, we said our farewells and headed home. The ride home was interesting, even if just temporarily gave us something to look back on with fondness. Besides, after three hours standing by thunderous engines, it didn’t take much to have an interesting drive.   Remember a month ago; when I said that my art professor had an art gallery and asked me to build her a metal canvas with a whacky design? Well, I did this and she liked it a lot but decided that she changed her concept and wouldn’t be use the thing after-all but she still paid me a fairly good scrap of change. Also, after realizing with much deliberation how pointless and idiotic it was to take classes everyday, I scheduled myself for just 2 days a week next semester which will give me more time work. I will also leave my current job around Christmas time as the guy I replaced will be ready to work again. I’m not sure where I’ll go but I’m not that concerned.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Chicago and the kill.

Once again, I’d like to say you’re welcome for being the catalyst in the WP=Banned domino effect. I knew my rambling would do some greater good for this place sooner or later.   That being said, I’ll miss him slightly if only because this place is boring without someone like him. Someone needs to step up to the plate. We’ll always have Marvin, though he’s just a couple more sad tales away from a horrific catastrophe.   Random things   My sister and her husband, came home yesterday from their honeymoon in the Bahamas and we learned that it only took 4 days for him to pull off his first bonehead maneuver, as he lost his ring somewhere in the ocean. According to 90’s sitcoms, it usually took 20 years and a garbage disposal for husbands to pull off the “lost ring” incident, but it took him just four days. At this rate, I might not have to get him anything for Christmas.   Speaking of my sister (which by the way, after this entry, I’m probably done with the references), her friend re-invited me to her place for the Bengals game and since she was only a few miles away, I popped in for a few minutes. A couple other people were there but it sans boyfriend. That clued me in right away, exactly what was her intention with this invite.   After about a ½ hour of small chit-chat and casual observation of the game, I decided to keep her in suspense and left early. In all honesty, I do think she’s a great girl and her being friends with my sister really helps me out but until she officially does something with her bf and until I get confirmation that the girl at school isn’t going to get moving…I’m not going for the kill just yet.   Why haven’t I? I know what it’s like to be the other guy. I know that her BF is probably completely unaware that his girl is talking to another guy and making her intentions blatantly obvious. Either way, whatever she does…I’m the bad guy in this situation. I need to know that she’d be doing this for the right reasons and not just to get my dick and leave it as that.   I can wait this situation out as long as it may need be.   -   Looking through the NFL Week 2 thread, it appears the usual suspects are incapable of logical statements.   The big issue is the validity of proclaiming the Chicago Bears to be NFC Championship contenders. The argument is essentially that it’s “Only Week 2”. Which is utterly stupid because the meaning of contenders/favorites is that they are considered a legitimate candidate for that status and they clearly are. There isn’t a real argument against it, but a couple morons still go around saying “It’s too early to proclaim a team to be a contender”.   Chicago was a playoff team last year despite a shitty offense. Chicago, retained the quality defense and significantly improved its offense. All logic clearly indicates that Chicago is an obvious contender for the NFC Championship with it’s beefy defense and improved offense.   Chicago, is a legit contender. Argument over.   -   I finally rented Madden 07 a couple days ago and I can safely conclude the magic of Madden is gone. It’s generic and formulaic now. I remember back in that 2001-2004 timeframe, where Madden was GOD. It was everything that mattered to a young punk ass kid. Now, I’m 20. I rarely play video games.   I don’t have anything against video game players, but it just seems as if by a certain age, video games don’t have any importance anymore. What is sad is that I know 45 year old losers who collect welfare and spend their days playing video games.   How could you even live that type of existence? Maybe, I’m silly for expecting myself to be better then that but If I appear to be heading down that path…I’ll buy the plane ticket for you to fly in and waste me.   Tonight is WWE’s presentation of Unforgiven. On the surface, it isn’t that bad in that they actually pushed this card and established that isn’t intended to be the standard “b” ppv even though that is what it is. Slapping on a pair of gimmick main events (TLC and HIAC) in a desperate attempt to boost buy rates is pathetic, as if those two matches and the hard-sell of Trish Stratus in her farewell match is supposed to justify such a ridiculous price.   WWE isn’t the only mainstream wrestling promotion to be floundering, TNA has yet to really get going since signing with Spike TV. People keep waiting for them to turn the table, but it’s ultimately just another wannabe WWE production.   It’s clear that the ONLY meaningful American wrestling promotion is, Ring Of Honor. Especially with the NOAH partnership.   ROH, has been incredibly strong for the past 2 years with only the rare occasion of dropping under expectations and consistently blowing everything away.   Now, excuse me while I go and put my hopes in KKK's pick-ems on the fucking Cowboys.   I find it ironic that KKK sloted me in as the rep for the team I hate most in the NFL, aside from Cleveland.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Flat Tires on the road to "destiny"

I don’t want to turn this into a running diary of my work-life but I think what happened today needs to be told because of absurdity of it all.   Fridays are designed to be laid back, we usually ship on those dates and that really means we aren’t actually working on the products. We had a small part order to send to Centerville which was only about 40 minutes from our building.   I grabbed one of those rookie kids, I mentioned in the last entry and handed him the keys to our company pickup and we loaded the parts and he left.   This was @ 11:00, Shawn (the kid), should have been back around 1:30 by our estimates. It was 1:00 when my assistant hands me the phone while I’m eating a late lunch with another manager in the conference room.   “It’s Shawn”, she says as she backs away…   “Yeah, what’s up? Everything go all right?” I ask him and he stutters to begin with but he finally blurts out “Yeah, I got the stuff dropped off okay. But there’s a problem” and I get this gut punch feeling creeping up…   “What is it?” I ask, fearing the answer. “Well, the front tire…it’s flat, well it’s popped actually. Shredded up.” “Okay, well change the tire” I say, uncertain of why he needed to act like it was a big deal. Then he drops this bombshell on me…   “Well…I don’t know how to change a tire”.   I nearly choked on my chicken sandwich, okay…this kid isn’t the brightest guy but he’s a hard worker and a decent all around person but HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU BE 18 YEARS OLD AND NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE A MOTHERFUCKING TIRE!!!!!   Anyways, after soaking in the absurd notion that he was incapable of simply putting a spare on…I decided that instead of sending someone else his way, and because I didn’t want to embarrass the idiot, so I got directions to the gas station he pulled over at and headed down there.   Here is the problem, the moron not only can’t change a tire but he couldn’t give proper directions at all. I followed his directions as her told me them and he wasn’t even within distance of where he led me.   I tell him to go inside the station and get the address, so I can have my assistant map quest the right directions and shockingly, the numb nuts didn’t fuck that up.   I got the right directions as I was amazed by this whole sequence of events that I had to laugh at it.   I turn into the station and He’s sitting on the tail gate just staring at the ground fumbling with his cell phone.   I look at him and before he even utters a word, I simply inform him   “Don’t. Whatever. Look, this is the first and last time I’m doing anything like this for you. Get the jack out from under the passenger seat and the spare is under the truck.   It’s one thing to teach my girlfriends over the years the art of simple car care, but not when someone that I trust to handle machines worth hundreds of thousands for international big money corporations.   Is this how my father felt when he tried to “teach” me when I was 14 how to change a tire. Luckily for Shawn, I was more patient then my father ever considered being.   Finally, he got the job finished. I gave him a golf clap applause when he finished. He didn’t even say a word during the whole process other then yes/no answers.   I went inside the station and brought us a couple waters and told him I would drive the truck back, and he could drive my car back to the office.   He struggled to say “Thanks” but I cut him off and told him “No. I was just doing my job, my job is to lead my workers. We all need to ask for help at some point, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s cool. Don’t do it again though”…   Then I playfully slapped him and told him to scram.   It was really awkward to be honest, I was and still am stunned that someone couldn’t manage a process like changing a tire at the age of 18 but I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised.   -   This weekend is a holiday but it’s not really for me. I’m working a little tomorrow afternoon and part of monday. Sunday will be good though. INDY 500/Coca-Cola 600 along with my GF coming home that night, so we can see where it was all building to all these years. She’s coming home earlier then planned, and I have to say I’m nervously excited.   Here is the problem…I known her my whole life. We pretty much grew up together and our families are close. Each family has always expressed hope that someday we’d end up together and apparently…My father had always believed it’d be her. He even kept a picture of us together on Hallowen from when I was like 10.   I had one of my rare intense honest talks with my father a couple days ago and he told me, that for the first time that he thinks I figured it all out as far as girls are concerned. I’m just concerned the families will get more involved then they should and ruin everything that we waited for.   Usually, I try to plan out my relationships but with her, I figure we ended up together the way we did and that wasn't even expected, for me at least. We decided to go on a trip together in a couple weeks.   I'm not worried about the transition from friends to couple, i've done that before with modest success. Maybe it's too fast but its like we already been through the bullshit most new relationships endure already...it doesn't hurt to skip a couple levels.   - Wrestling is boring me these days. I got like a pile of unwatched DVD’s just stacking up.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

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