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On The Eve

The car situation hasn’t really been figured out, yet. I’m still looking around and haven’t found anything that I want just yet. I’m borrowing a pick up that my father had, and usually just riding with Allison. I figure I’ll lock down on a new car before the fucking ball drops next week.   I’ve said many times around this place that I adore and fucking love the holiday/winter season. However, it hasn’t felt like winter. It’s regularly 65 degrees here and that’s just wrong. I need that chill down my spine as I feel the breeze creep into the house, or see my breath hang in the air as I walk to the shop, or feel the crunch of the powder white snow collapsing against the ice. I don’t want to be working outside in jeans and a t-shirt. I don’t want to see girls walking around in something that isn’t an adorable sweater or jacket with rosy cheeks. The holiday season hasn’t felt like the holidays, not remotely. There’s not a shred of “joy” or “cheer” throughout the land. Just a mass mess of consumerism walking around looking for some stupid ass Video Game System to make our children grow fatter, lazier and more incompentant at anything other then Left, Right, Down, Up, Left, B, Select, Right, Down, A, Right, Up.   Yesterday, I had my mother’s family to deal with. Ironically enough, as a child, I couldn’t find these people endearing. I got older and despite their increased obnoxiousness, I can handle them easier nowadays. Although, we hold these xmas gatherings at my cousin’s house and I get it, “Your Rich!”, seriously. They had a entertainment system that Marvin would have whipped his untouched dick out and jacked feverishly. TV’s don’t need to be 70 inches wide and 18 feet high. I received about $300 in gift cards from Best Buy, Target, Restaurants and Barnes and Noble. I don’t enjoy getting cards because of the lack of sentiment attached but given that I know none of these people aside from these family gatherings, I can excuse them for it. What I dislike is that given the size of the family, each person is given a list of 12 people to buy for (not including the boy/girl-friends, you have to be family or married/engaged into it) Everyone has a different list and somehow, everyone gets the same # of gifts, other then my grandmother whom usually gets about 30 pointless gifts. I just got her a gift card to Cracker Barrel since she likes that shit.     Allison skipped this one because we agreed to just do one side for each family and she had to work last night. That’s a shame, she fits in more with my mother’s side then she does with my father’s side and she’ll join me tonight for that one. My father’s side is incredibly boring. Nothing happens, it’s the same conversations, same jokes and this time it’ll consist of less random syllables spoken during the Bengals/Broncos game.   It’s a complete contrast. Mom’s side is rather pretentious and money obsessed but they are at least alive. Dad’s side feels like a funeral with the awkward head nodding, small talk and general feeling of “I gotta get outta here” floating over the tiny house that belonged to my grandmother before she died and was brought by my aunt. I know for a fact at least 10-12 people who usually attend this aren’t because they don’t want to.   Gifts used to be dispersed but given the lack of closeness (in spirit, we all live close) between my intermediate family and the rest of my dad’s distant family, that’s gone now too. My uncles, aunts and cousins don’t feel the need to exchange gifts with my family. They’ll do their real Christmas later tonight away from us. It’s a fucking farce. It’s Christmas without presents, family warmth or anything. It’s thanksgiving but with less food.   I’ll do Allison’s father’s side tomorrow night and that’s about the same as my mother’s side in that they’re pretentious snobs as well.   The real issue was the decision if she would have xmas in the morning with my inmediate family, since she doesn’t have that with hers. My sister waited 2 years with her husband while they were dating before he did that with us, I took that cue and felt maybe it’s too soon and she completely agreed. It feels weird. She’s moving with me, in this very house in a few months, here all the time and yet, Christmas morning is still to “sacred" to impede on, she felt.   I spent way too much this year. $7,849. To be exact. To be fair, most of that was on my father's gift. Otherwise, it was about my usual average.   In the next week, I'll be having two Year in Review entries. One for my personal life, which is about 80% of the content in these blogs and a wrestling based one over ROH, WWE and TNA including my BEST OF 2006 lists including the top 25 MOTY's. The #1 is probably obvious but the rest of the list might surprise some.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

In This Shadow

Update time     -Tomorrow will mark my final full day of work at the place I’ve been employed for 2 ½ years. All throughout this week, I’ve felt like a ghost around that building. My office is empty minus the cpu, TV and mini-fridge that I’m not taking with me. I basically been giving my successor the run through in regards to the job but he seems to get it which renders me worthless. I’ll miss a couple of the guys down there but I’m thinking we’ll stay in touch by some means.   As you might recall, I am still bitter at my boss for his actions but I’ll have to put it aside because despite me leaving, I’ll be seeing plenty of him over the years including my parent’s anniversary party next week and my sister’s wedding as well. I can play nice but my respect for him vanished.   I intended to stay out of the work force for awhile because I wanted to focus on school and I was burnt out on working…but I got an intriguing offer from a pretty well known international corporation that is Head-quartered pretty close to me. (This should be obvious…I think). It doesn’t pay as much as the previous job but the benefits and potential future options are much greater.   -   I said in a previous entry that I was going to be getting a new car in September and that is still my intention…   I’ve been driving my old Dodge Avenger that I had given to my sister for the past 2 weeks (I since sold the truck to the company) and I finally got off my ass and headed down to the Auto Mall.   THE AUTO MALL -It just so happens that I live in close proximity to one of the largest Auto Malls in the Mid-West. It’s basically what the name implies, a giant assembly of dealerships from Chevy, Ford, Dodge, Toyota, Saturn, Hummer, Lexus, Honda etc, etc.   Price isn’t too big of an issue for me because I’ll talk the price down anyways. I just wanted a car with good gas mileage and fun to drive. I can fix my own car, so the issue of car maintenance that scares some people away isn’t a problem.   My father and I headed down to the mall and we went to the Ford dealership, which a good friend of his owns.   I could see the writing on the wall. I have nothing against Fords, I just drove one of their trucks for the last couple years (This was the same dealership I brought the truck at) but I didn’t want to get another truck and I’m not a fan of their cars. I knew that my father’s friend would likely give me another good deal and while I appreciate an “in” like that, I knew I would have to decline.   I think the real reason I did this was because a part of me wants to stop getting by on who my father knows. I spent the summer working in a position that I never earned because of that connection my father gives me.   My grandfather didn’t give my old man much, so he relied on himself since he was teen. He never wanted that for me, so in essence despite being 20 years of age, he still does favors for me. I value his actions but there comes a time when you just need to do it for yourself.   After dropping a good dosage on for my tuition and putting money away to prepare for no job for awhile, I decided I would just wait a couple months before really pursuing my new car. I’ll keep driving the Avenger for the time being since my sister is driving her fiancés old car. However, that car has nearly 175k miles on it and that car isn’t built to last that long. It wasn’t that great on the road during the winter when I drove it and I can only imagine it’ll be worst now.   -   I doubt anyone remembers back around spring time but I mentioned my old high school female friend who spent years admonishing people for teenage sex only to get knocked up at a frat party…   We kept in slight touch via AIM over the months but she moved in with her grandparents (yes, her parents weren’t happy) about 70 miles south in Kentucky, so we haven’t seen each other until last week where she came up here for her brother’s birthday party.   We bumped into each other at a Kroger’s Grocery store and well…   Yeah. It’s always a slight jolt when you see a close friend for the first time in a obvious pregnant state. I’ve always known her as this skinny model girl and well…not anymore.   It didn’t last long as the small talk quickly wore off.   It just made me realize how I haven’t really been in touch with any of my close friends from just a couple years ago. I actually miss a couple of those fuckers.   -   I start classes on Tuesday. I still remain here with my jaw on the floor realizing how fucking expensive my tuition and my books are. Books shouldn't be this high priced but I give all these schools credit for milking every dime out of every student (and their parents).   Bravo.  

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

On Turning 21, The Rumble and smokers.

It’s been awhile since I said anything here, so I figured I would update.   The last time I wrote here I was feeling “down” but that’s gone away and I’m doing well right now.   Two weeks ago, I turned 21 which for many is a momentous event but the ideal of turning 21 never quite appealed to me in any way because what’s really the difference between 21 and 20? Nothing, except I can legally purchase alcohol and that’s not exactly something that I care about. The only other advantage it grants me is that I can go to the local casinos.   So that was my 21st birthday "extravaganza". My family, Allison and a couple of our friends went to a riverboat casino in Indiana. We had a seafood dinner which was quite good and after a couple hours of crab legs, we decided to board the boat. Unfortunately, Allison couldn’t come with us since she isn’t 21. She stayed at the room with my mother whom doesn’t care for gambling. It was my father, my brother in law with my sister, Allison’s room-mate Danielle, my cousin Chad whom is seeing Danielle and me.   It was pretty exciting with the long walk way towards the entrance of the boat. My father is a high roller, so he got me comped $500 which was great obviously since I wasn’t gambling my own money. The atmosphere was quite fascinating with a crowd of middle aged chain smokers sitting on stools tightly gripping and fixated by the bright lights of the slots roaring in non-stop unison. The rooms clouded in smoke and smelled of cheap cologne, beer and smashed nachos. Young girls with tightly wrapped hair in cocktail dressed carrying trays of soda, cigarettes and tiny bags of potato chips and peanuts. It was straight out of a 1950’s movie but the modern technology was all over the place.     The tables were full with a great variety. Mustachioed old men leered over at the middle aged mom dealing; the young married men sat impatient looking at the remains of their chips while feeling the sting of their wives in the background. Trashy women sat with fake tans with a cigarette dangling dangerously off the tip of their lips challenging gravity. Wheels spun around in harmony, calls randomly shouted out and gold chains bounced off hairy chests.   I took a seat at a slot machine, just the $0.50 machines and immediately felt relieved that I wasn’t interested in this. My father along with some other family members are chronic gamblers and I was hoping I wouldn’t be caught up in the excitement and addiction of gambling and I wasn't. I played a few spins but mostly took in watching the others win and lose, win again and fail once more. I stopped playing after a few minutes and cashed out with $442 intact. I didn’t win any money that night, well, actually I did since that money wasn’t mine to begin with. It was a good time with the people that actually matter and I didn’t need to drink myself stupid to achieve that.   School restarted and that’s been a welcome distraction but Allison is back at Oxford with her apartment there and I’m taking classes at Middletown again. Our schedules didn’t fuse which has led to more of a stress on phone/IM/Txt system of communication. It’s just a few months anyways, until we move in together. The house is getting smaller and smaller as my parents have already begun the process of moving out.   There has been one negative spot in my life the past couple of weeks and that was the shitty news of finding out my uncle from my mother’s side had lung cancer. I can’t say I’m surprised as I never seen anyone smoke as much as he did. He’s one of the better people involved in my familes , though. It always seems the ones you like get the hard luck while the people you don’t give a shit about catch the breaks. He’s young as well. Just another lesson to learn. I never got why people smoke to begin with. My whole family are smokers aside from myself, my sister and her husband and a couple aunts and cousins here and there but as whole it’s Marbolo country. I’m not against smokers, it’s your body. Do what you want with it, I consume ungodly amounts of caffeine and I’m sure that’s not much worse then smoking. It’s more of the psychological “why would you?” that gets me.   Tonight is the ROYAL RUMBLE. Quite frankly, pro wrestling is in shambles (at least the WWE/TNA) and while I’m content with getting my quality wrestling fix with NOAH and ROH, I’d like to see the mainstream promotions finally do something but that isn’t happening. Despite that, the Rumble is a must see event if only for the Rumble match itself. It’s the perfect people gathering show as the main focus of the show is built on short memory and gives a flood of betting games to play. The winners have been blatantly obvious since they inducted the “Winner goes to WM” clause. This year is hardly any exception with Undertaker, Orton, Michaels and Edge being the only shots. It’d be nice to see a surprise winner such as RVD or Punk win to set up the ECW title match since the winner of the rumble is only given a shot at the title, and not necessarily the “MAIN EVENT”. Marvin getting laid in 2007 is more likely then anyone from ECW winning this event.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

 

Turkey Day. Fat Black Girl. Fake Tree

Thanksgiving went smoothly on all accounts. Wednesday night was a intimate little dinner that allowed for better conversation along with the quality meal that my mother always cooks up. The only bump in the night was trying to hold down my girl’s stuffing. She claimed to have never cooked before in her life, other then baking cookies and I believed her after taking my first bite of that concoction. I learned quickly that if things progress further for us and once we live together in a few months, she’s going to require cooking lessons from my mother or the wallet is taking a pounding because I can only grill, but I’m good at it though.   Thursday afternoon, I had lunch with dad’s family and like I said, it’s always boringly predictable but since it’s drama-free and pleasant enough, I don’t mind it. The food isn’t that great since it’s cooked by my two aunts whom aren’t culinary experts. The only saving grace are the pies and I’m not much for pie, unless it’s Pumpkin Pie from Frisch’s. (I’m not sure if that’s a local thing or not). After boring repetitive mingling with the various family members, I snuck out a little early and headed home to change because of my punk ass little cousin still learning how to pour himself a glass of punch spilled all over my black and white track jacket that I just brought the day before. I’m learning that Orange punch isn’t easy to get out. So, I went to the girl’s family thanksgiving dinner and like always, I feel more welcomed into any of my girlfriend’s family then I think I should. I guess it’s my warm nature that endears me to them. With a larger crowd of virtual strangers, I had to be on my A game.   She has a cousin that she’s fairly close to and she had brought her bf along as well but he was a complete nervous wreck and got himself into one way dead end conversations and I felt sorry for him because one on one, he’s an alright enough guy, if not a boring personality though. I decided to help him out and loosen him up and it seems to do the trick as he finally warmed up and the rest of family seemed more responsive to him then they were initially.   Naturally, this scored me major points even if that wasn’t my intention. I was just trying to help a poor guy out in a situation that I could feel empathy for.   On Friday, a lot of idiots went out shopping in a mad rush for discount sale products. Usually, they aren’t worth the trouble unless you’re needy for a video game system that isn’t remotely worth the gaudy price tag. DVD’s aren’t ever really marked down enough for me to justify the madness. I can buy the EXACT same DVD’s for roughly the same price at most independent distribution centers around here. Fuck Best Buy, Fuck Circuit City. Charging me regularly $25 for something that I can get for $10 dollars across the street. Fuck, I could go to a flea market and buy TEN “new” DVD’s for that price.   I was asleep. Allison, wasn’t. As much as I protested, she insisted on going through that insanity with her girlfriends not because of any particular sale but rather because she enjoys the scene of Black Friday Chaos. I’m a sadistic person but even I can’t derive pleasure out of seeing soccer mom’s bury elbows into each other for a $50 TV. It’s a fight without honor and I’d lose.   Luckily, she survived without wounds but she did have a big verbal confrontation with some big fat black “cunt” (in her words) who demanded she (Allison) give up her parking spot right smack in front of the store because she drives “a tiny ass car” and that spot should be had by someone getting big objects and driving a pick up truck instead.   Just the kind of girl that I would go for, she turned back around and went to the car and sat on the hood with a girlfriend and opened up her phone and starting playing Tetris sending the other lady into a frenzy and storming out of the parking lot. I felt slightly guilty as she even brought me a few DVD’s just cause she knew I didn’t have those particular dvds, including the Roddy Piper DVD even though she hates wrestling.     Meanwhile, since I had the house to myself and my mother, we decided to set up the house for Christmas. It was sort of bittersweet setting the house up since in the back of your mind, I'm thinking that it’ll be the last Christmas in a house that I grew up in. Traditionally, we always had a live tree but with the rising cost of natural trees and the money tightening right now from them, they went and got a fake tree instead.   I can’t stand it. I’m a traditionalist and I can’t buy into a fake tree, even if it’s just a symbol. This is the first and only time we have done the fake tree routine and if I can manage, I’ll make sure my future kids will never know the horror of a fake Christmas tree.   While she did the interior work, I was doing the outside light display work, which I had fine tuned to perfection over the years. We used to be extravagant but we settled back and with classical and boring white lights.   However, If you have ever seen that Budweiser commercial with the house with the crazy light display? I live right by that particular house, so it’s not even worth the effort competitively as it used to be in having the best light display.   On Sunday, I’ll actually order the WWE Survivor Series PPV. I know buying anything from WWE unless it’s one of their DVD’s is always a crapshoot but I’m not hurting for $ and I was always a mark for the traditional 5 on 5 format anyways. The problem with buying a WWE ppv is that the price tag is ridiculous and you could buy 2-4 DVD’s from ROH/NOAH and be assured of a quality wrestling show but a part of the “fun” with a WWE show is not knowing which WWE will come out that night.   Is there a classic match on the card? Nothing really, except maybe the DX/RKO match that is loaded with some very good talent that should be done well in a long match and the First Blood match stands to be a good-decent brawl.   That being said, I alluded in previous threads about what was the 2006 MOTY and had insisted it was Danielson/McGuinness from Unified but I have to change it. Danielson/Kenta was beyond this world.

Hawk 34

Hawk 34

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