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New location, same lame blog

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Sports happenings

Today could be really historic in Major League Baseball as there is the possibility of three huge milestones being reached on the same day:   - Barroid ties Hank Aaron at 755 - Alex Rodriguez reaches 500 home runs faster than anyone in history - Tom Glavine gets his 300th win   I won’t bore anybody with my opinion on Bonds and his pursuit of the record because, frankly, there isn’t anything I can say that hasn’t already been said. He cheated, he knows it, we all know it…that’s it. No matter how disgraceful it might be, there will be no asterisk next to his name or any erasing of his statistics so getting too morally outraged over it seems pointless to me.   Instead, I’ll set my DVR to record the Giants/Dodgers game tonight because, as a baseball fan, I want to see history. The potential theatrics of Bonds not only finally tying Aaron but doing it in LA against the Dodgers where the crowd will be ridiculously hostile should be fantastic. I only wish the game didn’t start at 9:10 CDT tonight because, unless Bonds hits it in the first inning, I probably won’t get to see it live. You’d think that MLB would bump the start of the game up an hour so that a few more of their fans in the eastern and central parts of the country would get to see it, but the baseball powers that be aren’t known for making great decisions very often.   ------------------------------   Bill Walsh died yesterday. I didn’t really get into football until I was about 10 years old, so his great 49er teams were a little before my time but his impact on the NFL was tremendous. Not that I would have been a fan since ours was and is a Dallas Cowboys house, but I can’t deny how the game evolved because of him.   RIP Bill, but I’ll always wonder what would have happened if the Cowboys had had 30 more seconds in that 1982 NFC Championship game. They were at midfield and driving when time ran out as it was. 30 more seconds and I’m thinking they win and we don’t have to suffer through endless highlights of “The Catch” to this day…   ------------------------------   Finally, it looks like Kevin Garnett has been traded to the Celtics for a bunch of guys. The only NBA teams I pay any attention to are (in order) the Rockets, Spurs, and Mavericks so I have no idea if it’s a good trade or even who any of the players Minnesota got in return are. However, I hope it works out for Boston. I’ve always felt bad for Garnett because he’s been a great, selfless player stuck on some shitty teams in Minnesota for most of the last 12 years. I want to see him get another shot at winning big and, if this trade works out, he should have that shot. Good luck KG, and go Celtics.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Slime in the ice machine!

I discovered this morning that the Nazi bastards in charge of our Internet firewalls here have suddenly decided to block YouTube. Sons of bitches.   ----------------------------------   Local TV news legend Marvin Zindler died yesterday from inoperative pancreatic cancer. He’s best known nationally for being the reporter that led the drive to have the Chicken Ranch shut down back in the 70’s, but I’ll always have a soft spot for ol’ Marvin because of his weekly reports on which restaurants around town got busted for health code violations. My brother and I used to watch those with my grandpa when we were kids and would all shout his trademark “SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME IN THE ICE MACHINE!” line along with him at the end of each one. Even now, as someone who rarely watches TV news (outside of local weather/traffic in the morning), I always tried to make sure and tune in for that just so I could hear Marvin deliver that line. Good times.   RIP, Marvin.   ----------------------------------   Kroger has this promotion where they offer you $0.10 off per gallon of gas (for one fill-up) for every $100 worth of groceries/stuff you buy each month. So yesterday I went to do the weekly Sunday shopping where I pick up the things I need to put together the lunches I bring to work with me everyday. Upon handing me my receipt, the stupid kid running the register noticed that I had accumulated $94 of the next $100. Maybe I was just in a bad mood (likely, since my house was full of in-laws that had shown no signs of leaving any time soon) or he was just new at his first job and was a tad overeager, but this just irritated the hell out of me:   Him: "Look at that. You only need six more dollars to get ten cents off your gas purchase."   Me (indifferent): "Oh, yeah. How about that."   Him: "You want me to hold your spot in line so you can go get some more stuff?"   Me: "For what?"   Him: "So you can get to $100."   Me: "Why would I do that?"   Him: "So you can save money when you fill up!"   ...   Him: "Don't you want to save 10 cents on your gas?"   Me: "Not if I have to buy $6 worth of crap I don't need to get it."   Him: "But you'll save WAY more than that when you fill up."   Me: "How? I only buy maybe 20 gallons each time I fill up. That's only like $2 saved; how does that get to $6?"   Him (thinking): "Hmm...I guess it doesn't."   Me (shoving receipt in pocket): "Nope. Can I go now?"   Him: "Have a nice day, sir."  
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

The NBA: it's a lot like al-Qaeda...or not

I am what you could call, at best, a casual fan of the NBA and/or the Houston Rockets, but two little news items have caught my eye today.   First, Stevie Franchise is coming home. I’m ecstatic. With this news, all the fond memories of watching him fire up absurd 3’s, dribble out the clock without getting off a good shot, and turn the ball over at every inopportune moment, all while leading the team to the playoffs (and losing in the 1st round) exactly once in five seasons came flooding back into my mind. Oh, how we’re all on the edge of our seats here, watching, waiting for Stevie to return with his hero’s cape on to lead the Rockets back to the promised land.   Or not.   What are the Rockets thinking? Yeah, he’s a talent and is relatively cheap ($2.4 mil for the first year), but this is the same guy couldn’t share the ball with Cuttino Mobley and Yao before. And now you want him to take a background role behind T-Mac, Yao, and Mike James?? Really? Doesn’t make much sense to me.   ---------------------   The bigger story of the day is the news that the feds apparently have uncovered a referee’s involvement in the gambling on and fixing of NBA games.   It’ll be interesting to see the fallout from this, though anybody who watched the Lakers/Kings series in 2002 knows the league’s been fixing games for years. Har har…   ---------------------   10 years? Why isn’t this guy already strapped to the gurney, arm exposed, with the needle at the ready?    
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

The NFL v. Comcast

Oh, yes. This is EXACTLY the sort of stuff I love to see the Texas Legislature get involved with...   Link     I have Comcast. I can get NFL Network if I want. I choose not to. Why? Because I don't think it's worth paying $7.95 a month for what amounts to eight (mostly crappy) regular season games and expanded combine/draft coverage (something we already get enough of thanks to ESPN and the bajillion draft websites that exist).   Would I watch the NFL Network if it were on basic cable? Yeah, probably, at least from time to time. Do I want the cable companies to be forced to put NFL Network on their basic packages, thus causing my cable bill to go up a couple of dollars a month? Hell no. Do the thousands of people that have no interest in the NFL at all want to pay that extra couple dollars a month? Definitely not.   There is no way that Comcast and their money-grubbing brethren should be forced to carry the NFL Network on their basic package. Not when the NFL wants an insane $0.70 per subscriber from the cable companies (more than CNN charges) that would just raise everyone's rates, and definitely not when there is no overwhelming public demand for the NFL Network. If that tide shifts one day and the public is suddenly in favor of the NFL Network being widely available, sure, bring it on. Until that happens though, keep the NFL Network exactly where it is. As with nearly everything else in this country, the market will dictate what should happen. Certainly there shouldn't be any legislation on this under any circumstance.
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Putting swimsuit models on blast

Because sfaJill has moved into the next phase of our her home renovation process--a phase that requires us to buy all new towels for our bathroom (in colors that are almost exactly the same as what we currently have)--we spent yesterday morning at JC Penney. They were having a Veterans' Sale and, between that sale and the coupons we'd saved, we could get these towels at just more than 50% off. Score.   The highlight of the trip for me came later though, when we stopped in at Barnes & Noble to browse around for a bit. I was thumbing through some book about the Cowboys on the bargain table; sfaJill walked over, curious about what I was reading, when she noticed that on the table next to the Cowboys book was the Sports Illustrated "painted on" swimsuit book. No joking--she picked it up and spent the next 20 minutes dissecting each picture inside with such constructive remarks as "Oh, God how slutty is she?" and "Whore" and "Wow, look at that--another nipple!"   I have no idea if she did it solely for my benefit or not (I suspect not--she's very much the jealous type), but it was fucking hilarious.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Birthday crap, Redball's staying

My birthday is a week from today. Hooray. I really haven't cared about my birthday much since I was 18. So last night while watching TV, this conversation happens. I'm sure you can guess who's who:   "What do you want to do for your birthday?"   "I don't know."   "Oh, come on. There's got to be something you want to do."   "I might take the day off work, I guess."   "That's it? You don't want to go eat or do something fun?"   "Like what?"   "I don't know! You decide. It's your birthday!"   "I'll think it over."   *two minutes later*   "Ok, well, what do you WANT for your birthday? I have no idea what to get you."   "Nothing." (note: with sfaJill, 'nothing' is never an acceptable answer to this question)   "What if I got you a pair of fuzzy pink slippers then? You'd be ok with that?"   "Only if you think I really need a pair of fuzzy pink slippers..."   "Well, if you don't tell me what you want, you just might get some then."   "Did you see that Circuit City is offering 36 months of no interest financing on all TV's $999 and up?"   "No. So what?"   "So there you go. That's what I want."   *she thinks this over for moment*   "You want me to buy you a big TV for your birthday?"   "Yes."   "Hmfph. Good luck with that one."   Ah, wedded bliss...   ---------------------   Jason Garrett has apparently turned down both the Falcons and Ravens head coaching jobs and will stay on as Offensive Coordinator in Dallas for at least one more year. Good. After four years of Bill Parcells's conservative style and the overall futility of the offense the five years before that, it was refreshing to see Redball (as he's affectionately known) open the playbook wide open and actually use all of the weapons available to him.   Sure he didn't run the ball enough at times and apparently went insane in the fourth quarter of this last Sunday's loss to the Giants (calling a 65-yard bomb into triple coverage on 3rd & 20 from your own 40 with just over 4 minutes to go when you must score a touchdown and then sending everyone into the endzone against a dime defense on 4th & 11 instead of having one guy run underneath the defense and get the first down when you still had time to spike the ball and run at least one play into the endzone before the game ended is the definition of insanity), but there aren't too many guys I'd rather have running the Cowboys' offense for the near future than Garrett. Good move, Jerry Jones.
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

The WNBA: Where NoBody Attends

To the surprise of few, the Houston Comets are done. Maybe they could ask for a bailout.     I think Bill Simmons had a line in of his columns years ago that said something like, "If you had the choice of getting $5 in cash or having your city's WNBA team win a title, which would you pick?" I know which one I would pick. Apparently my fellow Houstonians took their $5 and then chose not to purchase a Comets ticket with it.   I personally never attended (or watched in entirety) a single game, but my favorite Comets memory is a coworker of mine relating the tale of how she used to go to a few each year when they first started in 1997 but stopped doing so because she was "tired of being hit on by bull dykes and ugly women."   ---------------------------   I didn't get picked for jury duty yesterday. I got downtown around 7:30 and then sat there playing my DS for 4 hours while watching several other panels of white people potential jurors get called. Finally, just before 11:30, they announced that those of us remaining were being dismissed and that our jury service was complete.   While standing in line to get my work release form to prove to my boss that I wasn't just trying to scam a free day off, I asked the bailiff in charge what happened. He informed me that, based on my juror number (3555), I was 'definitely assigned to a court' but that there was 'probably a settlement reached in the case and a trial was no longer needed.' Score. I spent the rest of the day doing some Christmas shopping.   I also filled out some form to give my $6 pay to the Texas Childrens Welfare Fund. I'm considering it my one good deed for the holiday season. Plus I don't want to have to go to the bank just to cash a check for $6.   ---------------------------   A recap of Thanksgiving With the In-Laws:   Wednesday Night: they arrive at our house around 10:30 p.m. No joking: my mother-in-law brought 12 various bags and suitcases with her. For a four day weekend.   Thursday afternoon: Lunch is at our house with the official feast scheduled for tomorrow at my sfaJill's sister's house. With the house full of additional in-laws, I retreat to my study and watch the Cowboys thrash the Seahawks. When I emerge around 6:30, I discover that sfaJill, her sister, and mother have all left to go wait outside of Michaels until it opened at 6 to buy some Christmas tree that is supposed to be 50% off. sfaJill's sister MUST have this tree for the entryway at their house.   Thursday evening: They return with no tree. Apparently Michaels only had 7.5' trees and none of the 12' ones she wanted. Wal-Mart was also a bust. Sister-in-law is pissed and responds by pakcing up her crew and going home. Woo!   Friday: Thanksgiving meal at sister-in-laws is supposed to be at 2:00. The in-laws rise early and head over before 8 a.m. to help get everything ready. sfaJill sleeps in until nearly 11. Ah, yes...a few hours of peace and quiet. That peace and quite would be shattered shortly after noon when sfaJill and her sister get pissed at each other because, apparently, the two of us were also supposed to arrive early to help set up and sfaJill was now in trouble because we are 'late.'   "Fuck her. My sister's a bitch." are the only words spoken for a couple of minutes on our drive over after she angrily hangs up the cell phone.   For the record, I do not recall being asked to come over early in the day to help. Also, I lost the bet with myself that the first fight between sfaJill and her sis would occur Friday. I bet on Thursday.   At least the meal itself passes quickly and without incident. The hours of family board game time afterwards do not, however. Also, sfaJill's little brother arrived to join the group around 5:00. Without his white-trash girlfriend, who is a constant source of angst.   Saturday afternoon: Father-in-law heads over to sister-in-law's house again. Mother-in-law and sfaJill, who reluctantly agreed to hit all the craft stores with her mom, head out for 4 1/2 hours of craft store fun. Finally...a break!   Saturday evening: Back to sister-in-law's house for Friday leftovers. Neither sfaJill nor I want to go but since mother-in-law does and doesn't have any other ride over there, we have little choice. We leave after little more than an hour on the grounds that our hosts were doing a poor job of hosting (i.e. sfaJill is still kinda po'ed about Friday and doesn't like that her sister has said barely three words to her since we got there). Fine with me. I've had about enough 'family time' anyway.   Sunday: More in-law fun--lunch with everyone at Saltgrass Steak House and then MORE board game fun at our house. Of course, this means that they don't actually leave town until nearly 6:00, making for nearly 4 days of family fun. sfaJill and I went to see Transporter 3 after they left. It's not horrible, but is definitely the worst Transporter movie. Even she admitted that it was time for them to go.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Presidential travel troubles

So it looks like Kucinich is out of the Presidential race. And I was so sure that this was his year, too...   On a related note, during an endless, boring day of "online training" at work last week, I was scanning TSM and noticed a thread called "A Presidential Quiz" on the main forum page under 'last post info' in the CE folder. Thinking this would be a fun little way to test my knowledge of our Chief Executives and/or kill some time, I stepped into the abyss and clicked the link. What did I find? This page, which isn't really a "Presidential quiz" at all.   The results of said quiz and the guy (and I say "guy" because Hillary has no chance) who should get my vote for President this year?   That's fitting--that result is pretty much a perfect summary of how I feel about the Republican field this year.   Incidentally, my "top Dem" was Obama. Of course, when the alternative is Edwards, Hillary, Kucinich, etc., well, that's not really saying much.   ------------------------------   So kkk was forced to get out and about amongst the flying public last week. Reading his entry caused me to reflect on some of my recent air travel experiences. Allow me to reminisce for a moment...   Christmas Day 2007: On our flight home from Kansas City, sfaJill and I witness a guy a few rows in front of us have a mini-meltdown because his GIANT WINTER COAT wouldn't fit in the overhead bin and the flight attendant told him he would have to either check it or hold it in his lap.   April 2007: Moments before our honeymoon flight to Orlando was supposed to take off, we were told that there would be a "slight delay" because some light came on in the cockpit and maintenance had to come check it out. Two hours later, we're still sitting there. And this is after being told that it was not a safety issue and that the problem could be fixed upon landing in Orlando but "someone downtown" wanted to fix it now. So...yea. By the time it was fixed, the later 7:30 flight to Orlando had arrived just prior to our 4:00 flight...   August 2007: On our way to Boston, I am the fortunate winner of the "have a screaming 3-year-old sit in his mom's lap in the seat behind you" sweepstakes. That little bastard was relentless. Three solid hours of whining and crying, all the while his mom just sat there saying "Shhhh!" When we were over Tennessee, I couldn't take it anymore and resorted to the childish act of putting my seat back just to make their flight a little more cramped. Not one of my better moments, I'll admit...   August 2006: Another friend and I are going to Chicago for the weekend. The plane is taxiing down the runway when it suddenly comes to a complete stop. Pilot comes on and says that there is some "congestion" on the runway and that we are 33rd in line to take off, so it will be a while.   What he didn't mention was that it would be an hour and a half and that they would be shutting the engines off while we waited. On an August afternoon. In Houston. Hot times in Texas!   January 2007: I was in Amsterdam waiting to catch my connecting flight to Cairo that was supposed to depart at 8:45 p.m. The weather outside was horrible; winds are blowing ridiculously hard and it's about 35 degrees. I'm tired--I'd arrived from Houston at 7:30 local time that morning and had only slept three hours since waking up in Houston the day before (I can't sleep on planes). 8:45 passes with no call for us to even board the plane. Another hour...then another. All of this time in the terminal is made worse by the fact that all the restaurants/shops closed around 9:30 so I couldn't even walk around and look at anything. Finally, just before midnight we are ready to go.   Wrong.   We had barely pulled away from the gate when the pilot announces that we've got a flat tire and can't take off with that. It will be "10 minutes" to fix it. Five minutes later, he comes back on and says that there's actually two flat tires and it will be more like "one hour" before we are ready to go. Finally, just past 1 in the morning, we depart--a few minutes after we were already supposed to have arrived in Cairo.   I was uncomfortable, tired and very annoyed to say the least (how could no one notice TWO flat tires when they're doing all their loading/inspections of the planes in preparation for our flight??). Even the hot Dutch girl in the seat next to me wasn't enough to distract me and boost my spirits. I felt bad for the driver waiting to pick me up in Cairo though--he had to wait an extra five hours for me.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Trick or treat!

Halloween has come and gone again. Yea, I guess. I haven't been excited about Halloween for at least 15 years. sfaJill, however, is a BIG Halloween fan and really enjoys putting on a costume and greeting all the little monsters that knock on the door. Consequently, I spent half this last weekend helping decorate the front porch in a spider theme (i.e. cobweb, black lights, some glow-in-the-dark wall covering, etc) and standing in the candy section at Wal-Mart waiting for her to decide which is the best kind of candy to buy (my argument: who gives a shit? It's free; if the kids want to bitch about free candy, they don't have to come back next year).   Last night, sfaJill handled 95% of the trick-or-treat duty, meaning I bothered to get up out of my chair only two or three times when there was a knock at the door. Of course, after having a few kids walk right past our house without stopping, sfaJill was convinced that they didn't know we were offering candy (because, according to her, the house wasn't all lit up like a Christmas tree so it didn't look inviting and/or because there was nobody sitting outside waiting with a big dish of candy like many of the neighbors were) and decided to setup a camp on the front porch so that nobody would miss our house.   Since I had no interest in sitting outside getting bit by bugs, I retreated to my office in the house and popped in Freddy vs. Jason (yeah, I know it's a crappy movie, but I just chose a slasher at random) and waited for the end of the night. It was nearly 9:00 before she declared the night to be over and came in. I'm told Spiderman was the most popular boys' costume and Disney princesses were the most popular for girls. Sounds about right, but I'm disappointed nobody decked their kid out in this.   It's weird; every year I always hear a few folks lamenting how trick-or-treating is a dying tradition. I don't buy it. After a slow start, there were so many kids running through our neighborhood that it looked like a locust plague. I don't know. Maybe our neighborhood is the exception to the rule.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Dirty old man

A semi-humorous bit from this morning. I have to admit, occasionally, the people here can bring some entertainment.   There's this older guy here at the office that, according to a couple of my female coworkers, is a dirty old man. About the only things I know about him are, his name, the fact that he's worked here for over 30 years, and that his daughter just squirted out another kid (I know this because they had a cake party here to honor that glorious occassion a few months back). I really only speak to him when we exchange greetings when passing each other in the halls, so I've never seen this dirty side of him, but whatever.   So I'm at the copy machine this morning when he walks in. After exchanging our usual greeting, he starts this off:   "Man, sometimes I wish I was 25 again." "Really? Why's that?" "Have you seen that new chick in Billing? Lauren?" "Yeah, I've seen her." "She was over here earlier, getting water. Doing something with these people over here. Man...WOW."   (NOTE: Lauren is not that hot. There's nothing wrong with her, but she's not even close to being the hottest chick at this place.)   I continued: "She always looks angry to me. Like she'd be a total bitch about everything." "Yeah. But don't you think that's kind of hot?" "Depends." "Well, either way, I'd like to get some of that anger out of her. I know that." "Uh huh..." "You know what I mean, right?" *sighing* "Of course." "So yeah...you know."   I guess his reputation is well-earned.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Nasty FEMA trailers

So Phase II of George W.'s plan to kill all the black people in New Orleans has kicked in.   Link     I love this line:     Well, no shit. They're temporary trailers for a reason. The question of why these people are still living in these temporary trailers when they've had almost two and a half years to find a more permanent residence is one I'd love to have answered. I'm afraid to ask it though because doing so would probably only get me called a racist.   ----------------------   It's Valentine's Flower and Greeting Card Day! I ordered a dozen roses for sfaJill (but no card--gotta draw the line somewhere) because I'm an idiot who enjoys spending $80 on flowers that will be dead by Sunday. She tried to trick me by saying the other day that it would be OK if I didn't get her anything. Yeah, right. I might be a naive new husband who hasn't caught on to all the tricks of married life...but I know better than that!   Bitch better put out tonight though.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

An annoyance

You know, people that don't clean the office microwave after they leave a huge mess all over the inside should really just fuck off and die. What the fuck is this place? Junior high?
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

MLB Playoff Predictions

What a game last night between the Rockies and Padres to decide the NL wild card. I missed the ending because my need to get some sleep before work today forced me to go to bed...after the 12th inning (of course!). Another 15 minutes or so and I would have seen one hell of an ending.   Nevertheless, here are my official, non-scientific, mostly off-the-top-of-my-head picks for the MLB playoffs. I normally don't do these but since the Cubbies are in this year, I figure what the hell. Feel free to mock when I'm wrong about every single series:   NATIONAL LEAGUE:   NLDS: Chicago Cubs v. Arizona Diamondbacks The Cubs have the NL's best record since June and possibly the strongest rotation of any NL playoff team. Arizona's success this year is a mystery; 14th in the league in runs scored and a -20 run differential for the year really shouldn't translate to 90 wins, but here they are. The Dbacks bullpen is solid, partly evidenced by their exceptional record in 1-run games. The Dbacks also won the season series 4-2. What does all of that mean? I don't know. You could dig up all the stats in the world to show why Arizona is better than the Cubs and it wouldn't stop me from picking the CUBS in 4.   NLDS: Colorado Rockies v. Philadelphia Phillies The Rockies' rotation and bullpen is better than most people think and they're carrying a ton of momentum into the playoffs, having finished the season on a 14-1 roll. The Phillies squeaked past the Mets to get in (yeah!) and also bring a lot of momentum into the playoffs, finishing on a 16-7 roll themselves. Does season-ending momentum matter in the playoffs? Not really (see: Tigers v. Cardinals, 2006 World Series). What matters here is that these two teams led the National League in runs scored for the season and are capable of putting double-digits on the board at any time. However, given that the Rockies' bullpen does not completely suck, I'm going to pick the ROCKIES in 5.   NLCS: Colorado Rockies v. Chicago Cubs CUBS in 6     AMERICAN LEAGUE:   ALDS: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v. Boston Red Sox The Angels posted the best home record in all of baseball. Unfortunately, they don't have home field in this series, so who cares? Angels were 4th in the league in runs scored (822), just behind Boston (867). Angels finished 5th in the league in team ERA; Boston was 1st. The Angels have Vlad Guerrero and Garrett Anderson; Boston trumps them with Manny Ramirez/David Ortiz. Mike Scioscia's a better manager than Terry Francona but the Angels' lack of a high-priced, Japanese hired gun hurts them. But at least they have the "good" Weaver brother. On a bright note, the Angels did average nearly 5,000 more asses in the seats per game this season--that has to count for something other than extra bucks in the owner's pockets, right? Wrong. The Rally Monkey's gonna have to work some overtime. RED SOX in 5.   ALDS: New York Yankees v. Cleveland Indians Too bad the Indians blew their chance at having the AL's best record; the chance to possibly start C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona twice each in this series would really help them knock the EVIL~! Yankees out of this race and spare us all the horror of watching yet another Yankees/Red Sox ALCS. Instead, we'll have to hope that the Tribe can hold down the Yankees' vaunted offense long enough to take advantage of NY's mediocre pitching, featuring a washed-up Roger Clemens in Game 3, and win a few games. Cleveland's 0-6 mark against the Yankees this year would suggest that might be asking a bit much, but I'll pick them anyway because I'm sick of the Yankees and want them out of the way as soon as possible. INDIANS in 5.   ALCS: Cleveland Indians v. Boston Red Sox INDIANS in 7     WORLD SERIES: Chicago Cubs v. Cleveland Indians Nothing against the Indians, but I pick the Cubs to win the Series every year. Chicago Cubs in 5.
sfaJack

sfaJack

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Mailbag Answers

I got TWO questions for the mailbag. Suck it, kkk. Here are the answers…     So why do you hate The Astros despite living in or near Houston your whole life?   It’s simple: I’ve been a Cubs fan for about 25 years and the Cubs and Astros have been division rivals for 15 of those years. And since I have to hear the daily Astros’ propaganda living here, well, it makes me root against them.   I should say that ‘hate’ is a probably strong word for it these days since I no longer have the energy—or time, thanks to the wife—to spend watching the majority of their games (MLB Extra Innings is useful here, too). Plus the Cubs are just better than the Astros these days so my days of jealously looking at the standings are—at least for now—over.   And I do love a couple of the Astros players. Berkman is a terrific, funny guy; one of my favorite guys in sports. And I would LOVE Roy O to get fed up enough with the Astros that, when his contract is up, he decides to pitch at Wrigley for a couple of years. (Of course, the Cubs being the Cubs, he’d probably blow his arm out during pregame warm-ups before his debut and disappear in disgrace like Mark Prior.)   But a hack like Brandon Backe being kept around and getting constant adoration because he’s a ‘hometown kid’ despite having never been a good pitcher (or even showing signs of it)? Get the fuck out of here.     Also, what do you think of their chances in The N.L. Central this year?   I break it down like this:   1. The Astros are definitely worse than the Cubs, which means they’re probably fighting for the wild card at best. I don’t see anything but a number of devastating injuries derailing the Cubs in their quest for a third straight N.L. Central title.   2. I don’t see how anyone can say the Astros are clearly better than either the Brewers or Cardinals.   3. Recent history says that they’re probably better than the Reds, but Cincy’s lineup is fairly solid and you never know what a couple of young, developing guys like Cueto and Volquez will do. If Arroyo continues his good work and Harang bounces back, watch out. The Reds could finish third, which means they’re probably ahead of the Astros, too. (Dusty manages this bunch though so a 66-win, 6th place finish is also possible,)   4. They’re definitely better than the Pirates so they will be no worse than fifth!   The fans here point to the Astros second-half charge to 86 wins last year as proof that this team is on the cusp, but the reality of it is despite that, they still finished 3.5 games behind TWO teams for the wild card. So they really didn’t come that close to making the playoffs.   They are some other problems:   - Oldest team in the National League, and they got a little older with the signing of Pudge   - Berkman/Lee is about as solid a 3/4 combination as you can get. But Tejada’s washed up, Pudge is 37 and wasn’t very good last year, third base is either Geoff Blum or rookie Chris Johnson, Kaz Matsui is hurt all the time, and Michael Bourn is a disaster in center. Pence is talented, but he must return to his rookie form if they’re going to have a chance and there is no guarantee that he will.   - They subtracted Randy Wolf and added Mike Hampton and Russ Ortiz, neither of whom has been effective in several years. Oswalt is scary good of course, but when you have Hampton, Ortiz, Wandy Rodriguez, and Brian f’n Moehler behind him, well, that’s not so good.   - LaTroy Hawkins is a key cog in their bullpen. LATROY HAWKINS.   - There is almost no help in the minor leagues and Drayton McLane claims the payroll is now maxed out so any injuries could really kill their season early because they probably won’t have any options to replace the injured players.   - The second half schedule isn’t conducive to a late run this year. One of the newspaper guys did a breakdown of it a couple of weeks back and concluded that it’s the toughest post-ASB schedule in the NL.   Add all of that up and it smells of 76-78 wins and a third or fourth place finish to me.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

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