19.

So, my least favorite golf tournament starts tomorrow. Augusta always gives me weird feelings. It's obviously pretty, but it has the feel of a KKK convention meeting the other 51 weeks of the year. It reminds me of my uber-rich uncle, who's probably the biggest racist asshole in the world, and how he always lied about playing Augusta. This is the only week where I openly cheer for Tiger. If Tiger or Vijay continue their domination of this tournament, then that's just grand. You know it kills those snobby, old bastards to see it. And, of course, I'll be cheering hard for Mickelson to fail, like every slam. It's about time for Hefty to be in contention, and blow it all with his famous short-putt misses.

Plus, they keep fucking with the Augusta course, to where it's losing its fun. No, I'm not one of the old fogies who thinks all courses should stay the way they are... you absolutely must add length to some of these holes. But, it's being done way too much here. They're adding even more length to the 7th, which was one of my favorite short holes, with it's fun green that already gave players a bunch of trouble. Now, it's just another long par 4. And the 4th is just silly now... along with 10 and 11. Adding length was necessary to some of these holes... but, now it's to the detriment of making the tournament exciting. 15, maybe 20 players have any shot of being competitive in the Masters because you absolutely need massive length to be close. And that sucks. Augusta doesn't need this shit. Nothing was worse than Bethpage in 2002... where length was the end-all, be-all.

Besides, the Snobby Racist Masters won't beat the women's tourney last week in Mission Hills. Damn, that was one of the best endings ever. I felt stupid for downloading the final round of a golf tourney, but that was worth it. Karrie Webb holing out on the 18th, little cutie Ochoa with a super clutch eagle after sucking all of Sunday, and Michelle Wie blowing it again. And uber-hottie Natalie Gulbis in contention. Money. That's what women's golf needs to be watchable. Only thing missing was fellow hottie Cristie Kerr, and her getting a temper tantrum. I'm getting worried about Michelle, though. The girl is so insanely talented... yet, she's never won a damn thing outside of the Pub Links, which barely counts. The hype she gets has to build up her confidence (like Sharabitch), but it won't last forever, and soon enough people are going to whine that she never wins. This is the problem with forcing her to play with the men, and such silly things. It could really backfire on her.

In tennis news, the Davis Cup Quarterfinal is this week. Nobody cares on this continent. I'm sort of interested in France-Russia, though. And watching Marat blow. The women's field is awful this week, so bleh. The end.