SJL Malice in Wonderland!

January 27, 2003

SJL Malice In Wonderland!

January 26th, 2003!

Venue: The Compaq Center in Houston, Texas!

MALL BRAWL IV

Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus vs. Insane Luchadore vs. Leon Sharpe vs. Omega Storm vs. Christian Blackwell vs. Cutthroat

A tradition dating back to the first JL PPV, IGNJL Save The Drama For Yo Mama, the Mall Brawl match has become a favorite of all the SJL's fans (yes, we have fans). Mall Brawl sets SJL superstars loose in a mall amongst the crowds, and lets them duke it out. The winners have gone on to be amongst the best of all time in SWF history (The HVille Thugg) or have faded into obscurity (Vanguard). What will come of the winner of this match? Seven superstars (well, six stars and Cutthroat, who, despite not being active, will participate in the match he missed last time while sitting in the bathroom while it took place) will square off to become the new King of the Food Court.

Rules: Seven men will start from the information kiosk on the first floor. The object is to find a floating golden balloon in the mall. The balloon will be released in the Best Buy store on the third floor, but it might float anywhere. To win, one must find the balloon, pop it, take the envelope inside, open it, and read what is written on the inside. What exactly IS written in the card? Well, that's up to you. Be CREATIVE

Send To: TheBostonStrangler

TAG TEAM TABLES MATCH

Chris Card/Crow vs. Arianwyn Rivenstone/Nocturna Bloodmoon

Arian made her return recently to SJL action, and now she's brought her friend Nocturna into the game with her. Nocturna makes her SJL debut in this highly unorthodox match. Speaking of unorthodox, Crow and Natasha (Card's manager) have an interesting relationship developing. The team of Card and Crowe will square off in a tables match to determine supremacy

Rules: Both members of a team must be put through tables to be eliminated. If a person mistakenly goes through a table of their own accord (i.e. missing a top rope move), they are NOT eliminated.

Send to: AnnieEclectic

D@MNATION IN A BOX MATCH

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. Dace Night

These two men haven't gotten along as of late. Dace Night is looking to step up in the wake of upcoming departures from the SJL, as is Spike Jenkins. The winner of this match takes a big step towards filling the upcoming gap in the main event. Will the winner have the SJL World Title in his future? Will the winner even be able to walk out of this incredibly sadistic stip match? Well, we'll see soon...

Rules: The match takes place in a hell in a cell setup, with barbed wire wrapped around it. C4 explosive is also attached to the cell, causing a small explosion with each collision. At the top of the cell, there are weapons that will fall to the ring every 3 minutes, and be legal. The match can be won through pinfall, submission, a 10 count, or the opponent losing consciousness.

Send To: Tod deKindes

ULTIMATE FIGHT MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Fugue

This rivalry has been brewing for quite some time. These two men had epic showdowns over the SJL World Title, but the feud has become about more than that. These two men wish to prove once and for all who the better man is. To determine this, in their last SJL match, they will take each other on in a brutal match. The winner will walk out with respect, and the loser might not make it to Clusterfuck.

Rules: The match will take place in a standard cage with a roof on it (NOT a HIAC). The match can only end with a TKO (10 count) or by submission.

Send To: Longdogger Pete

MAIN EVENT

SJL WORLD TITLE MATCH

Ejiro Fasaki© vs. Wildchild

Ejiro Fasaki and Wildchild have been involved in one of the longest-lasting feuds ever to take place in the SJL. They've traded European title matches back and forth, gimmick matches back and forth, and just about everything else. But Ejiro and Wildchild have never squared off one on one in a straight singles match. This match gives Wildchild the chance to finally prove to Ejiro that he is the better man, or it gives Ejiro a chance to inflate his already-massive ego. Who will walk away victorious in tonight's main event, and the final chapter in their JL rivalry?

Rules: Singles match rules apply. DQ/countout are in effect. No interference from the members of the M7 or Wild and Dangerous Nights will be permitted.

Send To: realitycheck

January 27, 2003

As the themesong of the SJL's first Pay-Per-View in a long time dies down, the camera pans over an arena of thousands of cheering fans, and then down to the announce table where the duo of Axis and the Suicide King are sitting, arguing something rather heatedly until they notice the camera on them. There's a brief pause as Axis composes himself.

Axis: "Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you all to the Smarks Junior League Pay-Per-View, MALICE IN WONDERLAND! As you all know, I'm here with my announcing partner the Suicide King!"

Suicide King: "Usually I'd make a disparaging comment here, but it's the first Pay-Per-View the JL has had in a while!"

Axis: "And what better way to start it off than THIS?"

Axis' words make everyone pay more attention as the cameras and the fans turn to the Smarktron. Stepping into the ring, Funyon smiles and lifts his microphone. The fans are wondering, when lightning flashes on the Smarktron, and blood seems to ooze down the screen. A second lightning flash, and then the words become visible....

M-A-L-L

B-R-A-W-L

I-V

The crowd pops hugely as the words are highlighted for several moments, then fade away to the image of a busy foodcourt. Funyon finally speaks, almost shouting to be heard over the cheering of the fans.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest....IS A MALL BRAWL! There are seven superstars starting at the first floor information kiosk, and their objective is find a golden balloon with an envelope inside that contains a card, that reads "I am beingz teh winner!" and show it to one of the SJL officials in the mall to prove they've won!"

Axis: "It's been a long time since the Junior League has had any sort of match like this. We'll not be commentating much on this one, folks."

Suicide King: "Mainly because we'll be laughing at the hell that's gonna break loose!"

The camera switches from the food court to the first floor information kiosk, where a bundle of fans await. Around the kiosk are six men, of varying sizes, all waiting. From the arena, Funyon's voice booms out, relayed to a small television in the kiosk that's hooked up to the mall's speakers. The camera swivels....to focus on an individual in white tights with black lightning, before panning up to his face as Funyon bellows!

"Introducing the first superstar! Hailing from Harrison, Illinois, and weighing in at two hundred and thirty seven pounds! He's the Amaaaazin' One.......MIIIKE VAAAN SIIIIICLEN!"

The camera swivels to Siclen's right, and the smaller superstar looks sideways and up with a focused expression as the camera tilts back, panning up past muscular abs, to a scarred chest, and finally looking up at the white-haired, impassive face of the Smarks Junior League European Champion!

"Weighing in at three hundred and fifty pounds, he is the S....J....L Eurrrropean Chaaaaampion, and comes from Sydney, Australia...he iss........JAAAAANUS!"

The crowd boos the European Champion, who just tosses his hair out of his face and folds his arms, looking across the kiosk as the camera spins around to focus on a figure in khaki cargoes and a dark emerald green shirt, complete with spiked black hair. He lifts his arms as the fans in the arena pop hugely.

"And the next superstar.....hailing from Easton Pennsylvania! He weights two hundred and twenty one pounds...the Insane Luchaaador......ANDREEEEEEW RIIIIIIICKMEN!"

The camera swivels over to the Luchador's left, to reveal a figure clad mostly in black - boots, pants, and then a shirt with the words "Leon Sharpe" on the front. Said superstar spins around to reveal the back of the shirt - "Buy The T-Shirt!". Sharpe strips the shirt off neatly and holds it out to the crowd outside the kiosk, and one particularly close fan tosses him thirty bucks and he tosses them the shirt. He pockets the money and grins at the camera as Funyon speaks.

"Weighing three hundred and five pounds and hailing from Detroit, Michigan.....LEEEON SHAAAAAAREPE!"

The camera swings around once more to focus on an unfamiliar face. Bare to the waist, with cropped black hair, green eyes and a goatee, he wears black trousers with lightning bolts, that are mixed colours of indigo, white and a neon-ish green. He folds his arms and has a bland expression as the camera focuses in on him.

"From New Haven, Conneticut, weighing in at two hundred and forty-five pounds! He is a relative newcomer to the SJL..he is The Omega Storm......LEAAAAAANDRO GRIIINES!"

And again, probably making the cameraman dizzy, the camera swivels to another unfamiliar face, that had dark, deep set green eyes. The superstar's skin looked rather tanned but worn, and he had a coarse, almost stubbelish beard. Clad in entirely black pants and boots, he brushed a wavy strand of black hair from his face as Funyon announced.

"Another relative newcomer, hailing from Rosslare, Ireland! Weighing two hundred and forty-EIGHT pounds, I give you CHRIIIIIIIISTIAN BLAAAAAAACKWELL!"

The crowd cheers loudly, and Funyon almost giggles like a girl as he lifts the microphone one last time, staring up at the Smarktron and the six superstars already in the mall.

"The last scheduled superstar was Cutthroat.....but unfortunately he seems to have locked himself in the bathroom!"

The camera cuts to a view of the mall's bathroom facilities, and the familiar to many fans body of Cutthroat as he wrestles with the door of a toilet cubicle, trying to get it open. Funyon lowers the microphone as the camera cuts entirely away from the arena and focuses on the live cameras at the Mall. The token referee stands behind the information desk at the kiosk, and looks at each superstar in turn. And then he lifts an air horn.

Everyone tenses.

*BRRRRRRRRRRVT!*

Axis: "AND THE MALL BRAWL....".

Suicide King: ".... IS UNDERWAY!"

Rather than assault each other, the entire group of superstars heads for the wide open door- Christian and Sharpe get there first, almost side by side, and get stuck in the doorway. Almost comically, Grines and Siclen run into them to try and get through, and also get stuck. As everyone stares at the four superstars stuck in the doorway, Janus and the Insane Luchador exchange glances, and then the giant moves. Like a freight train, he slams his great mass into the back of the foursome, popping them out the door and to the ground in a heap. After a moment, people start getting up, and nervously stare at each other as the surrounding throng of normal people look at this odd spectacle. The two superstars who didn't get caught in the doorjam immediatley start moving.

Janus heads off to the left.

Luchador heads off to the right.

The remaining four superstars look at each other, then shrug - and as opposed to fighting one another, everyone does a runner! Siclen heads up an escalator, and Leon heads in the direction Janus went. Christian and Grines, the two relatively new superstars, stare at each other for a moment, before both heading off after the Luchador. And the camera switches to up on the third floor, inside a Best Buy, where a second referee clips the string holding a golden balloon, letting it loose.

Axis: "And the balloon's been released!"

Suicide King: "And none of them know just where to look! Haha!"

The camera view switches to the Amazin' One as MVS gets off the escalator on the second floor and looks around at all the people and shops, wondering where it could be. Finally ducking through the crowds of people, he enters a sports goods store and looks at the equipment, getting sidetracked before heading up to the counter to the weary looking male clerk.

MVS: "Hey, you seen a golden balloon around here?"

Clerk: "....."

MVS: "Hey man, come on, I asked you a question!"

Clerk: "...The golden balloons are sold on the third floor, idiot."

MVS: "Thanks......." - and under his breath - "...asswipe"

The Amazin' One strides back out of the store, and heads back towards the escalator so he can get up to the third floor. Meanwhile, the camera swaps angles again as it spots Janus going into a K-Mart, the seven footer standing out in the crowd as he strolls through the toy section, and then the sissy girl section, looking for the balloon. Spotting a golden balloon bobbing from behind a shelf, the giant heads towards it, but gets distracted as a package hits him in the back. He grunts and turns around, looking down.

>Authentic SWF Figure: Judge Mental! Complete with mini-tape of 'flashbacks' and hard-hitting gavel-swinging action!<

He looks up to see Leon Sharpe pick up another package, this one with an oversized head and the label >Tom Flesher - yes, the figure's head is scaled correctly< and throwing it aside, coincedentally hitting the giant. Janus clears his throat, as Sharpe continues. Surrounding people look at the toy-throwing superstar strangely, but continue about their business.

Sharpe: "Come on, there has to be a Leon Sharpe one here.....with t-shirt of course!"

Janus: "....I have one right here."

Sharpe: "Really??"

Sharpe turns around, just as Janus holds up the Leon Sharpe action figure, pulled out of its package, and smacks Sharpe on the head with it! The figure breaks apart, and Sharpe holds his head for a moment, grimacing before noticing the fragmented figurine. One K-Mart clerk notices them and starts coming over.

Sharpe: "Hey! There's no shirt on that thing!"

Janus: "......"

A quick lariat sends Sharpe down to the ground as Janus turns towards where he'd seen the golden balloon - except it wasn't there anymore. The giant frowns and heads towards another part of the store, as the clerk reaches the spot where Sharpe is sprawled, holding his head from the 'brutal' shot with his own figurine.

K-Mart Clerk: "Excuse me, sir....we'll have to ask you to get out...you're ruining our company image."

Sharpe grimaces and starts pulling himself up, pulling several more 'authentic' SWF figures off the racks as he did so, nodding his head and grimacing to himself.

Sharpe: "Sorry man....hey, go buy yourself a Leon Sharpe t-shirt....it'd look better than that..."

Sharpe stumbles off after Janus as the clerk frowns and sighs, before ducking down to start cleaning up the pile of figurines left on the ground, studying them for a moment.

K-Mart Clerk: "Stupid wrestling figurines....hey, those guys looked kinda..."

The camera leaves the clerk behind as it changes again to reveal the inside of a party store, respledent with clown faces, bright colours, and balloons of every which type for sale. Walking past the groups of mothers with wailing kids, Andrew Rickmen looks around the store for a moment, but is unable to spot any golden coloured balloons. Behind him, seen only by the camera, the balloon goes bobbing past, attached to the hand of what looks like a three year old boy. Also behind Rickmen, the forms of Christian Blackwell and his fellow newcomer Leandro Grines go running past.

Blackwell: "Hey! I saw the balloon first!"

Grines: "Not if I get to it you don't!"

Hearing this, the Insane Luchador turns and bolts out of the store, chasing after the two men - who have trouble pushing through the crowd to follow the golden balloon, while the Insane Luchador ducks and weaves through the crowd like a pro. Unfortunately, he too loses sight of the balloon, and skids to a halt - not even pausing, he elbows them in the back, hooks their heads, and tries to nail a double inverted DDT. But the two newer superstars wrestle out of it, and start smacking IL upside the head with punches - before Grines catches sight of the golden balloon again and runs after it. Blackwell makes to follow, but IL spins him around, lunges, and puts the newbie wrestler on the ground with the Evenflow DDT before chasing after Grines!

As this drama takes place on the first floor, Van Siclen is up on the third, and walks right into the Best Buy that had released the balloon. Seeing a flash of gold, he smiles....and it then turns to a frown as he sees a huge bunch of golden balloons all tied up on a railing. He looks through the balloons one by one, trying to see into them, but he can't spot the envelope in any of them and he stomps his foot in mild frustration before stepping back out of the shop and looking around, before looking over the balcony and spotting Grines and the Luchador race up the escalator to the second floor as if chasing something, and the Amazin' One runs for the escalator Down to the second floor.

Axis: "And the heat is going up now! Siclen knows the balloon is somewhere in the mall!"

Suicide King: "While the Luchador and that newcomer Grines have Spotted one of the balloons and are in hot pursuit of it!"

Axis: "Say, I wonder where Cutthroat is...."

The camera switches to an empty toilet cubicle, and spins as Cutthroat storms out of the bathroom, with an expression similar to 'The same thing isn't going to happen to me again'. Looking around for anyone else, he realises that heat rises, and if the balloon is drifting it would be near the top. He runs through the crowd, spotting an elevator with a fairly large black man in front of it. Not caring, Cutthroat pushes past the big man and hits the elevator button, and feels a hand on his arm.

Man: "Hey, foo'!"

Cutthroat gulps as he looks at the black arm...then looks up to the figure's chest, seeing a mass of gold chains.......and then up to the figure's face, mohawk and all...and everyone pops in surprise for the celebrity appearance!

Axis: "IT'S MR. T!!"

Suicide King: "Isn't he supposed to be dead??"

Mr. T grabs Cutthroat by the arms, and then lifts him up over his head in a mighty looking military press and starts walking away from the elevator.

Mr. T: "I PITY DA FOO' WHO TRIES TA TAKE T'S ELEVATAH!"

With that, Mr. T throws Cutthroat helluva far, halfway across the mall's first floor, in fact. Cutthroat hits the floor and rolls the rest of the way, through a swinging door into an audiotorium. Shaking his head, Cutthroat gets back to his feet and rubs his back where he hit the ground before turning around and seeing the sign in the auditorium, and his eyes grow as big as saucers.

--"The 'We Love Teh BUTT' Association - Male Branch"--

Cutthroat turns and tries to exit the auditorium, but the door is now locked. He turns around, looking at all the males now looking right back at him. Up on the podium, a particularly...not-pretty looking guy lifts his microphone.

Guy: "People! It seems we have a new member, he sure came in with a bang! Let's welcome him....in We Love Teh BUTT style!"

As the horde descends on Cutthroat, he screams like an effeminate girl, and the camera fades to black for several uncertain moments before firing back up again and showing the K-Mart store again. Leon is searching the aisles at a brisk, almost running pace, trying to find either Janus - for a bit of revenge - or the balloon, so he can see if it holds the envelope. Running a hand across his brow, Leon pauses as he hears a strange whirring noise.

Leon: "What in the...."

Janus: "I shall get you, Leon Sharpe."

He looks up at the other end of the aisle - to see Janus hunched up in a security buggy - that looks much like a golf cart! The giant presses his foot to the accelerator and the whole thing whirrs before trundelling across the floor towards the incredelous Sharpe, who just stands there as the relatively slow moving buggy approaches him. He turns and runs, and the camera angle changes to reveal him exiting the K-Mart. And about a minute later, the whirring noise is heard as Janus trundles after him, still sitting calmly in the buggy. Sharpe runs past several stores, and turns around to see Janus still rolling after him in the buggy, when something catches the corner of his eye....

....as Van Siclen comes tearing down the escalator! Spotting Sharpe, Siclen decides to eliminate one of his opponents instead of follow his original course, and throws himself at the other superstar, tackling him to the ground! He lays a few punches into Sharpe's head, but Sharpe shoves him off and gets up, stomping Siclen's gut before the familiar whirr of the security cart got his attention.

Janus: "I will get you, Sharpe. Eventually."

The slow-moving security cart continued its whirring roll towards both Siclen and Sharpe, who stared in surprise, before both of them bolted again, and headed for the escalator to the first floor. Janus sees them go, and turns the cart towards the escalator, and with an expression that doesn't change, drives the security buggy straight down! The small vehicle rattles about from side to side, gathering a shaky momentum, before popping off the bottom of the escalator, and continuing its roll across the first floor, complete with the impassive giant still inside. He drives the little cart in the direction he saw Sharpe and Siclen go, and finds the two wrestlers standing and staring at something. The giant pauses and climbs out of the cart. The great crowd of people ahead of him are all looking at something...

....and each person has a golden balloon.

Sharpe, Siclen and Janus look around the crowd, for several moments. Then all the three superstars simultaneously shake their heads and look at the ground, sighing. Janus takes the initative, flooring Siclen with a stiff right hand. Sharpe gets a few token punches in on the hoss-sized Janus as the giant stares down at him in typical "You can't hurt me" fashion - yet before he can do anything, Janus stiffens and his hair literally stands on end - which really fucks up his appearance and his goatee - before he falls to the ground. The Omega Storm stands behind the fallen Janus, and pockets his tazer.

Grines: "Feel the lightning of the Storm, big man!"

Grines looks up as Sharpe spins his body around, stepping over Janus and nailing the newer superstar with an uraken backfist! Dazed, Grines doesn't see what Shape spots behind him. The shirt-selling psycho ducks into the crowd as the Insane Luchador pops onto the scene once more - seeing the downed Janus, rising Siclen and the dazed Grines. Shifting his body weight, the insane one smacks Grines upside the head with a superkick, toppling him. He turns around to the rising Siclen and hooks his head for a quick DDT, but Siclen elbows the Luchador and spins behind him, getting an inverted facelock for a moment.....and then.....

....SMASHES the Insane Luchador to the ground next to Grines and Janus with the Russian Roulette! Looking around, knowing Sharpe had been here earlier, the Amazin' One heads off through the crowd of balloon-carrying people, trying to track down his opposition while also happening to look at every balloon he passes. The camera cuts away from this action to reveal Christian Blackwell, dazed from the Evenflow and with a bloodied nose, limping along and leaning on a chair as he mutters about the strangeness of the match. He slumps down onto the chair and leans back, absently glancing at the kid next to him.

Blackwell: "Word of advice, child...don't get involved in silly matches like this."

The little three year old just stares at him, clinging to the balloon string. Absently, Blackwell follows the string to look at the balloon...and his eyes widen only a little - for inside the golden-sheened balloon, he can make out the faint outline of something that's definitely not supposed to be in there. Before he can do anything, the child's mother apparently shows up and guides her son quickly away from the strange man - and the kid lets go of his balloon as he's hustled away!

Blackwell springs to his feet and lunges to try and grab the string, but his fingers brush it as the balloon starts floating upwards. He mutters quietly to himself, and without a glance at the sobbing kid or his mother, he begins to run for the stairs to the next level.

Axis: "And look! The balloon itself has been spotted by Christian Blackwell! If the newcomer gets the envelope and the card within, it'll be an upset!"

Suicide King: "Don't forget Leon Sharpe and the Luchador are still chasing each other through that crowd! It's amazing nothing except toys have been broken yet!"

The camera switches to the auditorium, or more appropriately, Cutthroat being shown the door, limping severely after having informed the lovely organisation within that he hadn't wanted to join. Holding his rear end, Cutthroat bemoans his fate and limps towards the escalator, blinking as he sees Blackwell dart right past in front of him and run up the fire escape stairs! Grimacing, the jobber follows him up the stairs towards the next level, coming out into the food court. Still limping, Cutthroat follows the form of Blackwell towards of the food stands...as the recent addition to the SJL stands on a table and grabs the string of a golden balloon!

Thinking quickly, Cutthroat runs to the food stand and picks up a long loaf of french bread, and charges at Blackwell with it! Seeing the jobber out of the corner of his eye, Blackwell climbs off the table and snatches up another loaf of french bread, leaving the balloon to drift away. The jobber and the new superstar stare at each other, holding their long loaves of french bread.

Cutthroat: "Yer arse is mine, newbie!"

Blackwell: "....You lack the skills to face me.....leave me now."

Cutthroat: "Bugger you! That balloon is going to be mine!"

Blackwell: "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

Cutthroat and Blackwell proceed to swing their loaves of french bread, and miss! They continue to swing, duelling back and forth across the food court, their crusty weapons smacking against each other. They continue to duel this way for several moments, before Cutthroat bumps into a table with his rear, and visibly grimaces - which leads many fans to think of what that foundation in the auditorium had done to him. Blackwell smacks his weapon aside and smiles in victory....then cracks the french loaf down over Cutthroat's head! The jobber screams in agony and crumbles to the ground, holding his forehead - and Blackwell drops the loaf on him.

Axis: "....Did Cutthroat just do what I thought he did?"

Suicide King: "You mean, get beaten down with a loaf of french bread?"

Both: "....BAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!"

Blackwell sighs and turns around, looking for the balloon, just in time to see it go drifting into a music store. As Blackwell runs towards the storefront, he sees Leandro Grines come up from the left, also running for the store! Both put on extra speed, and as an unfamiliar whirring noise is heard behind them, they crash into each other, brawling on the ground! As they brawl, the whirring noise gets louder, as Grines and Blackwell punch each other on the ground, a small white golf-cart-like buggy slowly rolls past behind them...containing the massive frame of Janus, complete with hair sticking straight up like it was gelled and a puffy goatee. The giant grits his teeth as he spots something the camera doesn't as he drives the buggy into the store.....

...and the camera quickly cuts away as the giant is assaulted by the live singing duet of Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne, doing a stirring rendition of Avril's "Sk8er Boi"! Protecting the fans from that horrible music, the scene switches away from the music store, to the arena for several moments, where the fans and the commentators alike are looking on in horror at what Janus just encountered.

Axis: "Oh god, if the balloon went into that store..."

Suicide King: "I don't think even Janus could survive something THAT horrible..."

The camera starts switching about several times, trying to locate the two unaccounted for superstars - the Insane Luchador and Leon Sharpe. The camera first locks onto the big crowd where they had seen everyone with the balloons, and what had gotten their attention - there was a throng of old people, and they were in a fenced off area and surrounded by various objects to fall on, and in the middle of it all, occasionally pushing one of the old people over...

....was Silent.

Axis: "Jesus christ! Is that SILENT!?"

Suicide King: "Dunno what he's doing there, but he's pushing over old people....gahaha...that's hilarious."

Axis: "....."

After finally panning around, the camera focuses on the outside of a shop labelled "Studly Stanley's Sex Stuff"....and then pans down to the entrance. Past the throng of people, the camera zooms on on the forms of Andrew Rickmen and Leon Sharpe as they scout the shop for the golden balloon - Rickmen goes up one aisle, Sharpe goes down the next, so the two never actually run into each other straight away.

Rickmen pauses in the magazines section, absently picking up a magazine of Penthouse and flipping through it to admire some of the ladies. On the other side of the store, Sharpe's attention has been gotten by some very fine looking shirts with some not-so-fine looking slogans, like "Enter Here" (complete with arrow pointing down the front of the body - for females, and down the back - for males) and "Ready to Unload". Sharpe shakes his head and sighs at the shirts, mentally wishing he had one of his own that he could put up there to be sold. Finally heading towards the exit through the 'sex aids' aisle, he hears a panting noise, and spins around to see the Insane Luchador standing at the far end of the aisle, wandering aimlessly and staring at a Penthouse.

Sharpe snickered at the expression on Rickmen's face.

The Luchador looked up and his eyes widened, and he pointed behind Sharpe, who blinked and turned around. There he saw a gold balloon - attached to the biggest, ugliest looking man they had ever seen. The leather straps and buckles he was wearing, and the riding crop he was carrying, made the two superstars feel vaguely ill. Okay, more than vaguely - they were sickened. The big man smiled, revealing teeth that looked like they hadn't been cleaned in a week.

Stanley: "Hiii there boys, I'm Studly Stanley..."

Sharpe: "You most certainly are Not studly!"

IL: "I concur!"

The shop owner's face fell and he looked like he was about to start sobbing. The twosome took one step towards the door, then two, then turned and absolutely BOLTED. However, Stanley was faster, and he lunged forward, tackling the Insane Luchador to the ground!

Stan: "No stealing my Penthouses buddy boy!"

Pinning the Luchador to the ground, Studly Stanley tied him up by the ankles and started dragging him back towards the back of the store. Andrew Rickmen clung to the ground like a cat, being dragged along inch by inch, seeing Sharpe get further and further away as he just stood there, staring in surprise at the predicament, and then he grinned and waved to the Insane Luchador.

IL: "Sharrrrpe! Come on, help meeee!"

Sharpe: "Enjoy yourself, Rickmen!"

Sharpe turned and bolted out of the store, as the Insane Luchador was dragged into the back room. The door locked firmly behind him, and the voice of Studley Stanley could be heard.

Stanley: "Well, I got us one guy, at least....whaddaya think, Momma?"

Momma: "Well, he ain't anything like dat sexy Icelandah I remembah seeing in one of these brawl things....but he'll do!"

Stanley: "Excellent!"

Momma: "Come to momma, little boy....she'll take GOOD care of you!"

IL: "Good....God.....NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sharpe pauses at the door, hearing this loud wail and shivering, before looking around for one of the other superstars. Unable to spot them, or the balloon, he races up the stairs to the second floor, and almost going into convulsions at the threateningly loud duet of "Sk8er Boi" coming out of the music store. He spotted Blackwell and Grines not even fighting on the floor, just covering their ears and looking ill. The t-shirt selling maniac pauses and yells over the horrible song.

Sharpe: "Where's the balloon!?!"

Blackwell: "We're pretty sure it went in there!! The big guy went after it!!"

Grines: "He hasn't come out yet, though!! The music might've been too much!"

Suddenly, the song increases loudly in volume as if someone had broken the switch off, and two high-pitched squeals came out of the speakers. The music ending, the trio of Sharpe, Blackwell and Grines rushes into the music store towards the makeshift stage, to see Janus standing there, his hair and goatee still completely standing on end thanks to the tazer-shot from Grines, with a hand around both the throats of Lavigne and Spears. Both 'stars' choke and gurgle, and the giant has a distinctly relieved expression on his usually grim face. Then his gaze snaps to the entrance, as a six foot, testosterone-laden, six foot and totally insane looking monster storms into the shop, eyes focused on Lavigne alone. Seeing this, Janus lets go of her throat.

Axis: "It's Silent AGAIN! What the hell's he doing!?"

Janus hoists Spears above his head in a massive standing vertical suplex, stalling and holding her above his head in preparation for a Tombstone - ignoring the 'pop star' as she wails and kicks - as he looks over at Silent, who underhooks both of Lavigne's arms and lifts her up, haphazardly holding her body away from him as he lifts her parallel to his body, as she too kicks and wails.

Janus nods.

Silent nods.

Both of them grin maliciously at the cameras and sit out!

Axis: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

Suicide King: "RAGE UNLEASHED! AND THE....THE....FUCKTHATWASTHEDEMONSTARDRIVER!!!"

Silent and Janus both rise to their feet and look down at the crumpled, broken-necked forms of Lavigne and Spears, looking satisfied with their handiwork. Looking around and not spotting the balloon in the store - but indeed spotting it in the hand of one of the people exiting the shop - the giant-sized Janus steps off the stage and over to the staring trio of Sharpe, Grines and Blackwell, as Silent makes a swift exit to head back to his old-people-pushing-for-entertainment area.

Janus: "The balloon went that way."

With that, he just steps past them and keeps walking, straight out of the shop - and climbing into his small security buggy. Hunching over the controls, the little thing whirrs and starts putting off in the direction of the balloon carrier, who is spotted going Down the escalator to the first floor. Janus, like before, drives the buggy towards it.....but he gets swarmed by a horde of prepubscent males, who shriek in nerdy voices that he and his psycho friend had killed the two sexiest musicians on the planet. Janus just ignores them and diligently drives the security buggy through the crowd, although he does come to a halt as a mob of punk kids come racing up the escalator and around the cart and run into the prepubscent boys.

Nerdy Mob: "That's not punk! Avril is punk!"

Punk Mob: "Avril's a whore! The Exploited are punk!"

Nerdy Mob: "Are not!"

Punk Mob: "Are too!"

This resolves into a massive brawl between the nerds and the punks, which is immensely hilarious to the onlookers - except for Janus, who's trapped in the middle. Driving the security buggy through the crowd and down the escalator once more, he gets out once he reaches the bottom, body literally vibrating for several moments from the shaky ride. He starts looking around, and spotting the elusive Mike Van Siclen scurrying for the exit, with a balloon in hand! Janus looks up at the second floor and roars in a monsterous voice.

Janus: "SICLEN HAS THE BALLOON! HE'S DOWN HERE!"

This galvanises the two newbie superstars AND Leon Sharpe, who come pushing through the crowd and down the escalator, wondering why Janus pointed this out to them. The giant doesn't answer and is already charging off in hot pursuit of the Amazin' One, with Blackwell, Grines and Sharpe bringing up the rear. Chasing Siclen out of the building, they emerge right into a carnival that happens to be taking place in the parking lot. Moving as a group, not trusting the others, they all move around the carnival together......before the tazer-wielding Grines sees something and points.

Grines: "Over there!"

Everyone charges over towards Siclen, who turns back and sees them, and quickly pops the balloon, waving the envelope in his hand. Sadly, there's no official around to see it - not to mention Siclen forgot to open the envelope - and he swears, jumping onto the nearest carnival ride - the bumper cars. The remaining superstars, whose numbers did not include Cutthroat or the Insane Luchador, all follow Siclen, squeezing themselves into different bumper cars and glaring at each other, waiting for the ride to start. The ride operator stares at this predicament, and Janus leans out of his bumper car.

Janus: "Fire it up. We have business to finish."

Nodding his head, the ride operator throws the switch that powers up the bumper cars, and a loud whirring noise buzzes through the air as everyone steps on the accelerator at once, angling their cars towards Van Siclen. The Amazin' One boggles at this and slams his car into reverse, watching the other bumper cars pile up. Janus collides with Blackwell, Grines collides with Sharpe. Reversing, the foursome don't spare any words, all driving their ears around the bumper car 'track', trying to hit Siclen.

This provides long minutes of entertainment as everyone bounces off the walls and each other. Still focused on Siclen, all the superstars are laughing - well, except for Janus, but he never laughs - as they chase him with the bumper cars. Finally, Grines drives his bumper car right into Siclen's, jarring it so much the Amazin' One loses his grip on the envelope and it goes flying. The ride stops as all five men bail out to chase the envelope as a gust of wind catches it and blows it back in the direction of the mall. The fivesome watch as the window blows it through an open window on the second floor.....

...and right into Cutthroat's lap as the jobber sits in the food court after recovering from that absolutely evil french-loaf shot!

Cutthroat: "What the....woohoo! Where's a ref!? I WIN!!!"

Cutthroat jumps to his feet, dancing around like he's Brock Lesnar. Limping, the jobber makes his way back towards the kiosk, where he knows at least one of the referees will be waiting. As he goes down the escalator, he spots the entrance to the mall as Grines and Blackwell charge in, the Irishman dodging constant tazer-stabs from Grines as they run towards the second floor - before spotting Cutthroat already coming down the escalator. As he arrives on the first floor, Cutthroat cheerily waves the ticket at them.

Cutthroat: "I win, ass...."

Suddenly, Cutthroat is shut up as someone grabs his head and bulldogs him into the ground. The camera scrolls across and up to reveal a hobo in tattered clothing, with an immensely grungy looking beard and long hair, with the words 'Josh Stark' faintly imprinted on the jacket he wears. He stomps Cutthroat a few times and screams at him.

Hobo: "YOU BASTARD!! YOU AND THE OTHERS LEFT ME ON THAT FRIGGING SHELF!!"

With that, the hobo kicks Cutthroat some more before running off. Blackwell arghs as he reaches Cutthroat first to grab the envelope - but Grines' tazer blasts him in the spine, making him fall to the ground in pain. The Omega Storm picks up the envelope and looks around for the information kiosk...when the Insane Luchador - looking like a greased pig and half undressed - lunges up behind him, hooking both arms in a full nelson. He runs up the escalator's 'railing', and springs off, bulldogging Grines' head straight into the dirty of a mini-garden.

Axis: "BRINK OF INSANITY! The Luchador's here!"

Suicide King: "But he hasn't got the envelope for long!"

Rickmen ducks to pick up the envelope, and he feels a breeze as Janus' attempted big boot goes soaring over his head. The giant stumbles and nearly trips over, stumbling around the side of the escalator and out of sight again. Finally, the Luchador rises to his feet and holds up the envelope, and Leon Sharpe gets up behind him and cinches in a full nelson of his own. Holding the submission, Sharpe tenses his upper body and then starts swinging the Luchador around, while applying pressure with the full nelson.

Suicide King: "The Sharpe Clutch on the Luchador!"

Axis: "He ducked a running boot from Janus - who's apparently wandered off - and finds himself trapped in the Sharpe Clutch! That HAS to hurt!"

The Luchador shakes his head, yelling in pain and finally dropping the envelope containing the card. Sharpe maintains the Clutch for a moment, before letting go and dropping the Insane Luchador on top of the bodies of Blackwell and Cutthroat. He gives Grines an experimental kick to see if he's still conscious, and then bends over to pick up the envelope. Someone taps him on the shoulder, and he turns around as the Amazin' One drives a boot into his stomach and pulls him up into a fireman's carry.

Axis: "Here we go with another finisher!"

Suicide King: "He's reading Sharpe the Riot Act!"

The crowd groans collectively at the bad pun as Van Siclen spins Sharpe off his shoulders and nails him with the Riot Act! MVS sprawls on the ground, amid the mass of superstars, as the exertion begins to take its toll. Slowly standing up, he crawls over to the envelope and grabs it, getting back up onto his feet and lifting his arms in victory. He prepares to rip the envelope open to read the card inside, as he starts a weary stumble towards the information kiosk, when a whirring noise reaches his ears.

MVS: "Oh....not this...."

Janus: "Sharpe is down, so I will catch YOU instead."

Indeed, the whirring sound comes from the security buggy Janus is driving, as the slow-moving vehicle moves to intercept Van Siclen. The Amazin' One trips up as he tries to hurry, and falls over, turning around - his eyes going wide as he sees the security buggy moving inexorably closer. Clutching his leg where he fell, Siclen screams.

MVS: "Nooooooooo!"

The security buggy was 10 metres away. Janus just drives it silently.

MVS: "NOoooooooooooooooo!"

7 metres.

MVS: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

4 metres.

MVS: "I said......NOOOOOOOOOO!"

1 metre. Before Siclen can scream again, the security buggy stops, and he looks up as Janus gets out. The giant superstar holds out his hand, although whether he was asking for the card or to help Siclen up, it wasn't certain. Tentatively taking the giant's hand, Siclen grins as he's helped up - but the grin disappears as Janus locks a hand around his throat and lifts him into the air, and spins around before dropping him into the fountain with a chokeslam! Siclen gurgles and thrashes, as Janus plucks the envelope from his hand, letting go of Siclen's throat. The Amazin' One coughs and gasps, trying to get his breath back, as the giant climbs back in the buggy and directs it towards the kiosk.

Blackwell slowly climbs to his feet, helping up Grines. Both of them help up the Insane Luchador who in turn helps Leon Sharpe off, and they run over to the fountain to help the Amazin' One out before all taking off after the buggy.

IL: "Get back here!"

MVS: "You tried to run me down!"

Sharpe: "Give the card to me and I'll cut you a share of the profit!"

Grines: "You're gonna feel the Storm's lightning again!"

Blackwell: "......"

However, as if there was some impossible force acting against them, despite how slowly the buggy was moving, they didn't quite seem to catch up with it. Janus smiled as he got closer and closer to the kiosk....and then frowned as the buggy rolled to a halt. He pressed his foot on the accelerator several times, and got nothing. Then he noticed the 'out of fuel' light and sighed, climbing out of the buggy. He still had the envelope - unopened but looking tattered now - in his hand, as he stared at the approaching superstars.

They stopped as they saw him tear open the envelope and rip out the card. A collective gasp rose from the crowd in the arena, the fans in the mall, and the five superstars who were on their feet. Janus holds the golden card in his massive hand, and smiles down at it.

Janus: "I am beingz...."

Cutthroat: " THE LOOOOOSER!"

Somehow, defying everyone's odds, Cutthroat smashes Janus over the head with the evil loaf of french-bread earlier. Pausing, Janus turns his eyes on Cutthroat and raises his eyebrows. The jobber staggers backwards in surprise, fearful because his almighty french-loaf shot was shrugged off just like that.

The other superstars took this to their advantage and charged Janus as one. Seeing this, the giant made an executive decision. Common sense told him to just run into the kiosk and show off the card to prove he had one. But the other part of him, the sports enteratinmentpart....

...told him it was time to play.

The giant took off at a lumbering run, heading towards a sweets shop. Rather than infight, the five superstars - minus the terrified Cutthroat - chased him. Janus slowed near a gumball machine and blinked once...before firmly kicking it and watching the glass break, spilling gumballs everywhere. The chasing superstars stared as they ran.....

And then started slipping about as their feet landed on the gumballs, and everyone tried to keep their balance. Grines fell over, followed by Sharpe. However, Siclen, Blackwell and the Luchador kept their balance, stumbling into the candy shop and looking around. There were numerous aisles of lollies, and the threesome carefully split up.

Sharpe walked down the first aisle, picking an oversized candy cane out of a stack of lollies to use as his weapon.

Blackwell went down the third aisle, carrying a deadly packet of wizz-fizz.

And the Luchador went down one of the other aisles, armed with a very deadly looking chocolate box.

As they reached the backend of the store, they found who they were looking for. Janus, trying to make himself invisible behind a large stack of boxes, is spotted by Sharpe, who races forward and lifts the candy cane above his head. Janus has a flashback to his dumpster match against C-4, and stares in apparent fear at the candy cane....

....

...before shrugging and nearly taking Sharpe's head off with a big boot! Showing great reflexes, he spins around and spots the Luchador coming at him, and lunges forward, taking him down with a lariat and picking up the chocolate box, peeling it open and looking inside.

Janus: "Mmmm....peppermint."

Janus popped one of the peppermint chocolates in his mouth, then raised his eyebrow at the cautiously approaching Blackwell. There was a tense standoff, as the newcomer attempted to look threatening with the wizz-fizz...and Janus chuckled dryly, putting the chocolate box on the floor and spreading his arms.

Janus: "Give it your best shot, newcomer."

Blackwell: "I will."

With that, he tears open the wizz-fizz packet and blows the white sherbert-y powder into the giant's face! Janus arghs and swats at his eyes, stumbling and crashing back against a shelf of liquid caramels, several containers of the stuff breaking and oozing all over him as he tries to clear his eyes. Blackwell snatches the card from the giant's hand with a grin and waves it above his head as he turns to exit. However, he walks straight into the path of The Omega Storm, and his hair stands on end as Grines mercilessly applies his tazer, and Blackwell drops to the ground convulsing as Grines picks up the card. Without even celebrating, Grines runs for the exit - and collides with Siclen, who grabs him in a DDT position, and swings his body around in a 180º motion before slamming Grines' face into the ground!

Axis: "CODE RED! This is becoming a mess!!"

Suicide King: "Siclen's a mess! Look!"

The King of Hearts speaks truely as Siclen grabs the card and turns to leave - and then his eyes roll back in his head as Janus shatters a container of gooey caramel on his head! The giant, caramel fudge dripping from his flattened hair, half-coated in the substance after colliding with the shelf, picks up the card and stalks out of the sweets shop, back towards the kiosk. Cutthroat, pushing himself up, sees the giant.

Cutthroat: "You're mine, big guy!"

Janus lifts his head as he hears Cutthroat yell....and he grins toothily as he sees the jobber collide with a big, black mohawked man with a bunch of gold chains. Cutthroat swears.

Mr. T: "I PITY THA FOOL WHO RUNS INTA T!! ESPECIALLY SOME FOO' WHO BUGGED T BEFORE!!"

Cutthroat: "Look, Mr. T, I'm sorry, I...."

Mr. T: "I AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR YO' JIBBA JABBA!"

Without a word, Mr. T military presses Cutthroat above his head, and then throws him across the first floor again, to land with a thunderous splash in the fountain. Janus walks on, stepping into the kiosk and slicking his hair back from his face as he walks up to the referee, still dripping caramel fudge.

He holds up the card.

Janus: "I am beingz teh winner."

The referee standing behind the counter holds out his hand, and Janus gives him the card. After a long pause, he says something into his microphone, and steps around the table to lift up Janus' hand. Fear Factory's "Resurrection" booms out across the arena as Funyon lifts his microphone.

Funyon: "Ladies and gentlemen......the WINNER.....of Mall Brawl IV...the S..J...L EUUUUUUUROPEAN CHAMPION......JAAAAAAANUS!"

The crowd gives a mix of cheers and boos because of the havoc they had seen, and the camera zooms in on the fudged form of Janus as he stands there, actually panting and catching his breath.

Suicide King: "Bahahaa.....that was EXCELLENT. How can anything else stand up to this!?"

Axis: "We'll have to see...and how much is all that going to cost us?"

Suicide King: "The mall said they'd send the bill after we were done. Don't worry, I got it covered."

The camera circles around the arena as Fear Factory's "Resurrection" continues to ring out across the speakers, before it slowly fades to black and the SJL cuts to commercial...

January 27, 2003

The camera fades into to a close up of Dace Night's face.

"A new Beast, dangerous, deadly. Brain rattlying, skull crushing, neck snapping.

It's here right now, it's waiting for you Spike.

I just wanted to tell you the name of the thing that's going to kill you."

Staring into the camera, he speaks the name of the Beast.

"Psycho Driver."

Slamming a fist into the side of the camera, we side the image spin and twist as the camera flys through the air, before everything goes black as it hits a wall.

January 27, 2003

Funyon: Introducing first…

And Funyon’s introductions are cut short by “Oh My Goth!” by Razed in Black. Natasha, complete with her own SmarkTron video package sashays down to the ring. Natasha rudely grabs the mic free from Funyon’s hand.

Natasha: A match of this magnitude need a REAL ring introduction. Introducing first. MY client, and the finest technical wrestler to ever step foot inside a wrestling ring, either here or ANYWHERE in the whole wrestling world. 264 lbs of ripped, cut and chiseled wrestling machine. From Halifax, in the great white north of Canada. He is your NEXT European Champion, he is CHRIIIIIIIIIS CAAAAAAAAAAARD.

"Grind" by Alice In Chains fires up and Chris Card walks into the entranceway.. With a slight sneer towards the crowd, Chris walks slowly and deliberately down towards the ring. Inside the ring Chris drops into his Heartbreaker pose, crouched in a fighting stance, arms crossed across his chest, thumbs pointing towards his heart.

Axis: Here comes Chris Card, this Amazing young athlete has really impressed all here in the SJL so far.

Suicide King: Fire Funyon now! Sexy ring announcers now!

Axis: I think that’s a little strong.

Suicide King: You think FUNYON’S a sexy enough ring announcer.

Axis: Ring announcing is a skilled profession, King.

Natasha: And his tag team partner. He hails from Adelaide in Australia. He is 231lbs of REAL MAN.

Card raises an eyebrow.

Natasha: He is the most hardcore, most dark and most GOD DAMN HANDSOME wrestler in the SJL today. He is CROOOOOOOOOOOOW!

Suicide King: Natasha’s got the skills.

As Natasha forces the mic back into Funyon’s hand, “Natural Born Chaos” by Soilwork fires up and Crow walks out into the entrance area. He strikes a dramatic crucifix pose and Natasha slinks down the entrance ramp to meet him. Natasha feels down into one of his pockets for his cigarette lighter and lights a cigarette, taking a long sensual drag on it before placing it in Crow’s mouth. Crow finishes the cigarette before parting the ropes for Natasha and sliding into the ring himself.

Suicide King: Is Natasha with Card or Crow?

Axis: I just don’t know King. I just don’t know.

Funyon: And their opponents. At A combined weight of 311lbs, they hail from the Republic of Ireland, they are mean, lean and for blood they’re keen, they are Arianwyn Rivenstone and Nocturna Bloodmoon, the DIIIIIIIIIIIIISCIPLES OF DIIIIIIIIIIIISCOOOOOOOORD.

'O Fortuna' begins to play as the lights fade into blackness. When the arena becomes dark, the Disciples of Discord step onto the stage. As they glide along, lights underneath the stage and ramp illuminate their trek to the ring. When they get to the ring, dark red lights replace the darkness, slowly brightening the arena with a red hue. Once fully lit, the arena lights fade from red to white.

Axis: These two ladies are a dangerous force, and not to be underestimated.

Chris Card stares a hole through Liam, and Nocturna instinctively drags him backwards by his collar, making her the focus of attention. Crow remains slumped in the corner as Card signals for a mic to be thrown into the ring for him. Arianwyn raises a quizzical eyebrow as Card’s metered, gravely tones shoot through the arena’s PA system.

Card: Why don’t you start this match the right way and get your bitch out of my ring.

Nocturna: Why don’t YOU start this match the right way and get YOUR bitch out of my ring.

Suicide King: Uh oh…

With that Natasha instinctively lashes out spinning heel kick towards Nocturna, a look of sheer unbridled rage crossing her face. Arianwyn and Crow tie up and Crow overpowers Arianwyn down to a kneeling position. Card leaps for Liam and grabs him by his leash, wrapping it backwards around his fist, choking him out. Crow gets a sharp blow to the stomach, followed by an insulting slap from Arianwyn, but Crow responds with a glint in his eye and a mouthed word, “more,” loving the pain and attention. Card spins Liam round, leaving Nocturna’s escort facing away from him and hammerlocks an arm, dropping him by the collar in a modified Cardiac Arrest! Liam rolls to the outside choking, and Card slides out of the carnage in the ring towards the commentary desk.

Axis: Well I guess we’re graced by the prescence of Chris Card here today.

Meanwhile in the ring Arianwyn is playing a game of “How hard can I slap Crow before he finally shows pain”, Crow begging on (if that is an unsubtle change from begging off). Meanwhile Natasha and Nocturna are exchanging punches and kicks, goth to goth, strike for strike.

Suicide King: There’s something wrong with this picture.

Axis: Chris Card, sitting out the start of this match at our table here, apparently letting his valet do the fighting for him.

Card: Look at me Axis; Technical Perfection. Top contender for the European belt. Never pinned in this federation. And they book me in a god damn tables match with a mutilation masochist, the Extreme Colleen and her bloodthirsty gothic accomplice. You think I don’t have enough lippy bloodthirsty goth problems. Look at the pair of them.

As this discussion continues at the commentary table Natasha has the upper hand briefly over Nocturna, lashing the gothic newcomer with a series of ultra strong looking roundhouse kicks, then pushing Nocturna back onto the ropes with a massive snap kick. On the rebound Nocturna shoots for a leg and takes down Natasha, hooking on a leg grapevine, causing Natasha to grimace through the pain. Meanwhile Arianwyn and Crow exchange Irish whips, more Irish in the case of Arianwyn, but through leapfrogs and duck downs, neither the pain loving Antichrist, nor the blood loving luchadora can gain any advantage.

Suicide King: This match is hard to follow. It’s carnage.

Card: This is exactly what I’m talking about. Where’s the science? Where’s the precision wrestling, the skill? Where’s the test to my abilities? This whole set up is a joke.

Suicide King: But sitting here… doesn’t that just leave Crow and the three blood loving women in the ring together? Doesn’t that leave Crow a little vulnerable?

Card: Whatever floats his boat is his business. Natasha can handle herself.

Nocturna hits an amateur style floatover into a head scissors on Natasha, but Natasha wriggles free and rolls out of the ring. Arianwyn spots the opening and hits a huge tope con giro, flattening Natasha on the floor. Crow responds by topping that dive with a MASSIVE senton atomico suicida, landing and rolling through the piled bodies with stunning grace. Nocturna slides down onto the ring apron, then with a jump to the second rope flies onto the larger pile with a massive Asai Moonsault.

Axis: What an amazing series of dives there. That was simply breathtaking.

Card: See I’m not thinking about all this flip flop lucha crap. I’m concentrating on a more important task. Taking down the monster Janus.

Suicide King: You think you can beat Janus?

Card: All power, no technique. It’s difference from all athleticism no technique. None. Everybody gets pinned against Technical Perfection. They just have to learn to deal with it.

The wrestlers outside the ring begin to rouse, and Arianwyn slides back inside the ring. Nocturna barks an instruction to the recovering Liam, then turns her attention to Crow. Nocturna dives for crow and digs a claw like fingernail into Crow’s forehead, drawing a trickle of blood. She responds by licking the trace of the sticky red substance.

Card: You know Natasha’s gonna need my help guys.

Axis: To help win the match?

Card: To not get arrested for 1st degree murder. Excuse me.

Suicide King: Such a polite wrestler.

Natasha LEAPS for Nocturna, and brains her with a MASSIVE slap, sending the young Irishwomen sprawling across the floor. Natasha rushes across the floor and lashes in a few stamps into Nocturna with extra lashings of hatred laced with each blow raining down.

Axis: This is really breaking down into a..

Suicide King: Episode of Jerry Springer?

Axis: Physical contest.

Card cuts off Liam as he is in the process of setting up a table, causing Arianwyn to slide out and lunge for Card. Card slaps away a loose Arianwyn kick with a definitive block, turning Arianwyn’s back to him with the momentum. Card grabs Arianwyn’s hair and drags her down to the ground with a sharp motion, drawing a narrow selection of boos and jeers. This increases to a cacophony as Card follows up with a Guererro spinning boot scrape.

Axis: Card not endearing himself to the crowd here.

Suicide King: What do they know! They’re idiots!

Chris Card calls out for a table, and a gleam crosses Crow’s face as he rises from the floor. He slides the wooden frame flat into the ring and Card sets it up, picking up Arianwyn and putting her in a standing head scissors. He signals a Roman emperor’s thumbs down and lifts the female gladiator up to the powerbomb position. Arianwyn gains her composure briefly and rains down punches onto Chris Card’s head, then counters the move with a Satellite headscissors takeover! Arianwyn fires off a few stomps onto the fallen Card. Outside the ring Nocturna has turned Natasha over and is raining down blows onto the Gothic Diva. Crow grabs hold of Nocturna to free up Natasha, and Nocturna turns and wraps an arm round Crow, in more of an embrace than a set up for a wrestling move, holding it for a few lingering moments before Crow lifts her up rudely and slams her down to the concrete. Natasha smiles and applauds Crow.

Axis: Nocturna gets rejected in an advance to Crow.

Suicide King: Never happens to me that.

Axis: Really?

Suicide King: The old King charm never fails with the lay-dees.

Back in the ring Card and Arianwyn lock up, and Arianwyn hits a lightning fast and deep arm drag, twisting on the grip. Card levers himself round a little and swings his legs round Arianwyn’s neck, forcing her to break the hold. Arianwyn bucks her shoulders and squirms easily out of the grip, then springing to her feet and dropping a standing senton, but Card rolls out of the way of that and drops knees first down towards the mat, Arianwyn, however, rolls out of the way of THAT and the pair both kip up simultaneously. Card stares a look of daggers through Arianwyn and sends her reeling backwards with a neck high knife edge chop, a little squeal of pain emanating from her lips. Crow rolls into the ring, Natasha following him and Crow catches the reeling backwards Arianwyn in an inverted powerbomb, but Arianwyn counters THAT with a one handed bulldog! The crowd claps and starts a small “Lucha Libre” chant at the fast paced wrestling sequence, so Card immediately shoots for the distracted Arianwyn’s leg and grapevines it, slowing the pace right down again to a LARGE round of boos.

Axis: Just because it’s a no DQ match, doesn’t mean that the participants shouldn’t wrestle a little.

Suicide King: You have Technical Perfection in there, that’s 100% technique guaranteed

Axis: Are you on money from Card?

Suicide King: Well with Natasha not here, SOMEONE has to point out the strengths of our great young talent.

Nocturna reenters the ring and quickly tosses Natasha to the outside with a high hiptoss, sending Card’s valet over the ropes back out to the floor. Nocturna kicks Card HARD in the back of the head, causing him to break his leg grapevine, and with Card stunned and seated on the floor Nocturna hits a running reverse neck snap. The Disciples stand and turn their attention to Crow, Arianwyn with a mocking “come hither” gesture.

Axis: Crow with the two dangerous ladies looking right at him!

Suicide King: It’s like grab a goth night at the local disco-a-go-go

Axis: Remind me to NEVER go drinking with you.

Suicide King: You’d cramp the style anyway.

Nocturna shoots for Crow’s legs and takes him down. She slides onto his back and pulls back on his hair, and Arianwyn bounces off the far ropes and hits a sharp seated dropkick into his face. Nocturna spins round amateur style on Crow and splits Crow’s legs, then places a headscissor round Crow’s skull and rolls backwards into a reverse surfboard, leaving Crow’s crotch invitingly open for Arianwyn to hit a springboard elbow drop into the inviting area. The crowd oohs in sympathy for Crow.

Suicide King: That HAD to be painful!

Axis: An innovative, if normally illegal move.

Suicide King: No rules in a table match. Break bones, break wood and break balls, apparently.

Card rises to his feet, but the dangerous divas are concentrating on the downed Crow. Card soon shakes them back into life with stiff kicks across their lower backs, at the height of his normal shin kicks. Arinanwyn collapses sideways clutching her back, but Nocturna sucks it up and stands against Card, only to get flattened with a lariat. Card flexes a bicep before dropping a lazy elbow down onto Nocturna and stands quickly, dragging the table into position. Card picks up Nocturna by the waist, and backs up to the table, but Nocturna blocks an attempt at a german suplex. Nocturna blocks a second attempt, and attempts to roll through the hold, but Card stands firm. Card finally levers Nocturna over, flattening her with a MASSIVE german suplex, but the time Nocturna bought allowed Arianwyn to react and she kicks the table away.

Axis: The move hit, but its all canvas and no table.

Suicide King: Gotta get wood to win this match. And with all these ladies involved…

Axis: King… Don’t go there.

All four participants stumble to their feet, Nocturna more slowly than the others. Card grabs Nocturna’s free arm, locking it behind her and moving round for the Cardiac Arrest, Nocutrna just about unwinds herself, but Card locks his arm as Nocturna looks to reverse the hammerlock and Card wrenches her into an Irish Whip. Crow sees Nocturna heading towards him, and shapes for a shoulder block, but Arianwyn springboards up onto Crow’s shoulders blind, and Nocturna shapes herself quickly and bundles into Crow’s legs, sending Arianwyn crashing down on top of Crow as he falls, in a sort of reverse Lou Thesz Press. Card responds by swatting Arianwyn off Crow’s back with another low kick. Card shapes into a fighting stance, waiting a few seconds, stalking the girls and lashes off a spinning hook kick to Nocturna as she slowly stands, then uses his momentum to spin through to a second hook kick to Arianwyn. Card grabs Nocturna by the hair, dragging her roughly to her feet and slinging her towards Crow.

Axis: I think that Card is leaving Nocturna to Crow, leaving Arianwyn for himself.

Suicide King: I could handle both of them myself. And Natasha too!

Axis: I HIGHLY doubt that, King.

Suicide King: I AM the Heartbreaker! Not just some chest high side kick.

Axis: I see you and Card share similar influences.

Suicide King: But unlike me, will he ever be a main event, a show stopper or an icon?

Axis: Only time will tell.

While Nocturna and Crow brawl on the outside, Inside the ring Arianwyn avoids an uncharacteristically clumsy lunge of Chris Card’s and hits a quick leg sweep, sending Card to the mat. Arianwyn hits a springboard moonsault, flattening Card on the mat. Spotting the table is still there in the ring Arianwyn looks up to the corner. Arianwyn drags Card towards the table and then slides the 110lb heavier grappler into position. Raising her arms to the sky Arianwyn sets up for one of her arsenal of fantastic top rope moves. Card however instinctively rolls off the table, but Arianwyn shows her amazing athletic abilities by leaping OVER the table to hit a massive half twist splash!

Axis: Look at Arianwyn fly! Is there anything the woman isn’t capable of!

Suicide King: No Axis, Nothing.

Axis: And how would YOU know?

Suicide King: I never reveal my sources.

Meanwhile outside the ring Crow takes control over Natasha with a massive set of strong right hands. Crow slams Nocturna down onto the concrete and follows with a suicidal elbow drop, taking half of the force of the blow onto his own body, without a flinch of pain.

Axis: Crow is insane!

Suicide King: You know the rest of us had already spotted that.

Crow calls over Natasha, who willingly comes to heel for the Antichrist Superstar. She fires off a few stiff kicks into the ribs of Nocturna, before moving round to crow and making a horizontal spinning motion with one finger.

Axis: Natasha’s calling for something.

Suicide King: Have these three mismatched superstars been training behind my back?

Axis: Like people have to tell you everything.

Suicide King: My SOURCES tell me everything.

Inside the ring Arianwyn Grabs Card again and slings him into a non tabled corner. She softens Card up with a series of slaps and Asiatic spikes, then drags the table to the corner with Card in. She mounts the top rope and looks down over the table. Grabbing a solid headlock on Card she prepares to jump off in her Tornado DDT

Suicide King: Card is going to be the first through a table here!

Card however bounces onto the bottom rope to loosen the grip of the hold and hits a solid uraken backfist into the solar plexus of Arianwyn. The pair struggle on the turnbuckles and Card gets the advantage, turning Arianwyn round in an ugly sequence, and sets for a back superplex.

Suicide King: It looks like ARIANWYN is going to be the first through the table.

Axis: Make your mind up King.

Card hits his suplex, but Arianwyn uses her cat like agility to backflip out of the move and land on her feet BEHIND the table! Arianwyn Grabs for an arm of Card and drags him towards her, looking for a killing blow, Card however sucks it up for one huge move, reverses the armlock into a hammerlock, wraps the neck and hits a huge delayed CARDIAC ARREST! Both combatants lie on the floor, dazed.

Axis: Cardiac Arrest! Cardiac Arrest!

Suicide King: Don’t have a heart attack yourself, Axis.

Outside meanwhile Natasha grabs hold of Nocturna by the throat and moves behind choking her as Crow reaches for a chair. Natasha throws Nocturna towards Crow, and he lines up she staggers slowly towards him…

Suicide King: Hey batter batter batter batter batter…

Crow BLASTS Nocturna with a MASSIVE chairshot, sending Nocturna crashing to the floor. Natasha drags the table from inside the ring, stopping briefly to check on Card, then leaving it as a later problem. Crow picks up the slumped Nocturna and lays her at right angles on the table. Natasha grabs a leg and drags Nocturna forward, as Crow bends her backwards and grabs her by the head and arm. The pair exchange a breathed timing count and then hit a DRAGON SCREW & SWINGING NECKBREAKER COMBINATION! Nocturna crashes through the table face first as the Gothic Diva and the Antichrist Superstar sit opposite each other, smiling an evil grin each.

Axis: I believe that’s Chris Card’s old finisher from his tag team days on the independent circuit!

Suicide King: I knew that!

Axis: The so called team of Crow and Chris Card have taken the advantage in this match up after Crow and Natasha have put Nocturna Bloodmoon through a table!

Suicide King: See I knew it would be Nocturna too!

At the commentary table Axis sighs in disgust as in the ring, where Arianwyn and Card lie fallen. Meanwhile Crow is on the outside, chair in hand, talking to Natasha.

Axis: Crow and Natasha, having a little chat... I think they’re planning something.

Suicide King: Well no shit! Captain Obvious to the rescue everyone!

Crow quickly hurries into the ring, and Natasha follows at a slower pace. Crow gets in Card’s face and motions a chair swing to him. Chris Card bends down and picks Arianwyn Rivenstone off her back. Natasha walks in front of held up Arianwyn and slaps her in the face, a spiteful act by the goth goddess.

Axis: Oh just look at that... slapping the face of Arianwyn Rivenstone, mocking the woman. She can’t even stand properly for fuck’s sake!

Rivenstone is slumped in Card’s arms, which are supporting her entire weight. Crow holds the chair to his side, he heaves the chair back and over! The chair is on its way to connection with Arianwyn’s head in a matter of seconds! Rivenstone’s eyes open wide at the sight of the steel chair coming down, and she moves out of the way! The chair hits Chris Card on the head full speed! The crowd goes wild for the error and a “You fucked up!” chant can be heard coming from the mouths of certain fans.

Suicide King: Crow just hit Card by accident! No!

Axis: You sure it’s by accident, King?

Card slams back onto the canvas, the sound of steel on skull echoes throughout the packed arena, and all fans agree that was a painful shot.

Suicide King: Of course it was by accident, Crow wouldn’t betray his tag partner like that!

Axis: Hah...

Arianwyn Rivenstone recovers herself and forearms Natasha in the face and “helps” her out of the ring! Rivenstone turns to the Antichrist Superstar, who makes a charge at her with the chair in hand! THWACK! Rivenstone dropkicks the chair back into Crow’s face!

Axis: Ooooh! Rivenstone has made a come back here, getting rid of both Card and Natasha and now, just dropkicked a chair into Crow’s head! But she’s not gonna stop at that, King.

Arianwyn quickly rises and continues the assault on Crow! She throws a few right hands to the face of Crow, Crow’s head flying backwards with each one. Crow is punched into the ropes, and he slouches back on them for support.

Suicide King: Is that blood I see on Crow?

Axis: I believe so, a trickle of blood is escaping from Crow’s forehead. That area is very tender on him, and it seems the chair reopened up that cut from earlier.

Rivenstone backs up and runs at Crow, but he was playing possum! Crow ducks himself forward and heaves Arianwyn overhead with a back body drop!

Axis: And Rivenstone lands on the apron! She’s lucky King... considering if she didn’t land on the apron, her body would have ploughed through the table set up just behind her on the outside.

Suicide King: Not just a table, Axis. A glass light tube covered table that Crow set up before the match! Get it right, daft aussie.

Rivenstone grabs a clump of Crow’s hair and throws him down to the mat! Arianwyn Rivenstone grabs hold of the ropes and jumps onto the top rope! She jumps down, her two feet about to crush the chest of Crow. Noooo! Crow rolls out of harms way at the last second, Rivenstone lands on her two feet.

Axis: Crow moving out the way there just in time, and on the outside it seems that Card is bleeding quite heavily from his forehead. That chair shot busted him right open.

Suicide King: Forget Card, what about Natasha!? She’s hurt on the outside too!

Crow is quickly up and unleashes a vicious chop on to the upper chest of Rivenstone.

Crowd: WOOOOOO!

Crow whips Arianwyn off the ropes, she comes off straight into the waiting arms of Crow! Snapmare... no! Rivenstone manages to handstand through the move and runs into the ropes. She comes off the ropes at lightning speed, but right into the big boot of Crow as he kicks her in the stomach with a roundhouse kick.

Axis: Big Das Wunder Kick by Crow, and he should take the advantage here.

Arianwyn Rivenstone bends over, grasping at her stomach. Crow applies a waistlock, but Arianwyn counters with a waistlock of her own. She drops down and pulls back Crow’s feet from under him and down he goes, face first into the canvas! Rivenstone tries to put on the sleeper with scissors; she has the scissors almost locked on but Crow is fighting out of the sleeper!

Axis: Rivenstone going for the Deathgrip here! This could stop Crow dead in his tracks!

Suicide King: No no no! Get out of it, get out of it!

Crow breaks loose from Rivenstone’s grasp and both competitors quickly jump to their feet. Crow locks onto Rivenstone’s arm and nails a lightning quick arm drag! Arianwyn Rivenstone comes back with one of her own! Arianwyn attempts to hip toss Crow, Crow holds back but Rivenstone punches Crow in the stomach! He bends over, Rivenstone puts her leg on the back of Crow’s neck! Except Crow pulls his upper body up... but Arianwyn still has the hip tossed locked on! A back flip by Arianwyn Rivenstone!

Axis: Wow, this is some great stuff we’re seeing here.

She flies back into the ropes and comes off quickly! Crow hip tosses Rivenstone onto the ropes! Arianwyn’s legs bounce off the ropes and she flips backwards, holding onto Crow! ARM DRAG! Crow’s momentum flies him back onto his feet and back into the ropes, very near the turnbuckle. Crow is dazed and Arianwyn Rivenstone sees opportunity arise, so she runs to the turnbuckles and speedily ascends them! She locks a front face lock on Crow, and swings herself around for a Tornado DDT!

Suicide King: Rivenstone goes for the DDT! But no! Crow counters it!

Crow counters it by lifting her body up in the air... he puts her down on her feet! WHACK! Crow brutally hits Arianwyn’s face with a nasty, nasty backfist. Crow locks on a front face lock and whips Rivenstone overheard!

Axis: A BIG snap suplex from Crow... and Rivenstone’s body lands on the canvas in sickly manner, in close proximity to the ropes.

Crow backs up and hunches over... he’s waiting for Arianwyn Rivenstone to rise to her feet.

Axis: Crow... intently eyeing Rivenstone... waiting for the right moment to strike.

Behind Crow, Chris Card is standing up on the outside, leaning on the apron. He’s still dazed, as you can tell by the blank look on his face and he watches what is happening on the inside. Arianwyn is nearly up and Crow makes a charge at her!

Axis: BACK BODY DROP!!! At the last second Rivenstone bent herself over and launched Crow into the air!

King: But he hangs on to the ropes, Axis!

Crow’s on the apron, the same apron Arianwyn was standing on... and the same apron that has a glass light tube covered table very close to it. Rivenstone back elbows Crow and one of Crow’s arms slip! He falls back, closer to the table but manages to regain his hold. Arianwyn Rivenstone flips over Crow!

Axis: She’s trying to powerbomb Crow into the table! CROW HOLDS ON THOUGH! HE HOLDS ON!

Suicide King: Shit.. this is dangerous territory...

Arianwyn keeps trying to throw Crow down, but the superior strength of Crow defeats her. Crow lets one of his arms off and punches downwards, hitting Rivenstone in the head.

Suicide King: Wait a second, Axis!

Nocturna is up on the outside! right to where Rivenstone and Crow battle. She climbs to the apron and springboards off the top rope!

Suicide King: BLOODMOON NAILS CROW IN THE FACE WITH A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK!

Crow’s hands lose their grip on the ropes and Crow is thrown down into the glass light tube covered table!

Axis: JESUS CHRIST! OH MY GOD! Crow has been killed! He just took a huge powerbomb through glass and table! Off the apron mind you!

On the other side of the ring, Card wakes up from his dazed state and lifts Natasha up onto her feet.

Chris Card: Look on the other side of the ring... NOW!

Natasha does what Card says and quickly runs over there... and her face is one of confusion. Crow is bleeding profusely on the outside, and he’s managed to move himself off the wreckage.

Suicide King: Look at her face, Axis... Natasha doesn’t know whether to be aroused or very worried because no skin can be seen on Crow’s back... it’s just red.

Axis: Blood is all over his back. Pieces of glass hang from his skin and some... are stuck inside his skin.

He’s crawling ever so slow out of the table wreckage and Natasha tends to him. Back in the ring, Card has entered and is trying to battle off the attack of both Nocturna Bloodmoon and Arianwyn Rivenstone. Both women are launching punches and kicks at the bleeding Card, they’re relentless in their assault.

Axis: Rivenstone and Bloodmoon beating the hell out of Card, he’s trying to fight back, but the two women are too much for his chair-broken skull.

Bloodmoon latches onto Card’s arm and whips him into the ropes. Card comes running off and falls flat on his face as Nocturna drops down and catches his feet with her legs in a drop toe hold! But that’s not all, Arianwyn climbs onto the apron and comes off the ropes with a springboard leg drop! Card holds his body jolts on contact! Bloodmoon runs at the ropes, jumps onto the second rope, and backflips off!

Axis: THE TAPESTRY ON CHRIS CARD! And these women are assaulting Card!

Still not letting up, Bloodmoon and Rivenstone pick the fallen Card off the canvas, but only to put him back down with a big double DDT!

Suicide King: Oooooooh! Chris Card’s head landed on an extremely dangerous angle, and did you hear the noise it made when it hit the canvas?

Axis (nodding): Mmm hmm, it was sickening, it was like a snap.

Card’s body is slightly stirring after such a barrage of moves... Rivenstone calls Bloodmoon over.

Arianwyn Rivenstone: Get a table, we’re gonna end this now...

Bloodmoon slides out of the ring and ducks under the ring.

Suicide King: TTTAAAABBBBBLLLLEEEEE!!!!!

Axis: Nocturna Bloodmoon brings out the table from under the ring, looks like it’s the end for Chris Card.

In the ring, Arianwyn applies the Deathgrip on Chris Card! She locks it on tightly! Card’s arms flail in the air as the blood is being cut off the brain.

Axis: And he is out! Within 10 seconds he’s out! That move is so simple, yet so dangerous.

Suicide King: Well, that is why it’s called the Deathgrip, Axis.

Nocturna slides the table into the ring, and she sets it up, making sure it’s in the proper position. Rivenstone and Bloodmoon lift Card up and place him on the table, Rivenstone hitting a forearm to his chest for good measure. Arianwyn Rivenstone backs off into the opposing turnbuckle to get a good view of her victory.

Axis: Bloodmoon going up top... are we gonna see the Sacrifice?

Nocturna Bloodmoon ascends the turnbuckles, the northern turnbuckles, she lifts her hands in the air signalling it’s time for the next sacrifice to the Disciples of Discord!

Axis: Yes we are! But wait! It’s Natasha!

Natasha runs up onto the apron and pushes Bloodmoon off the turnbuckle! Bloodmoon luckily lands on her feet on the outside but still doesn’t avoid hitting her jaw on the commentary table. Her body flings backwards onto the concrete.

Axis: She pushed Bloodmoon out of the ring, that damn cheat!

Suicide King: It’s no disqualification, there’s no such thing as cheating in this match, Axis!

Natasha climbs into the ring, locks her eyes on Rivenstone and runs shoulder first at her! Arianwyn moves out the way and Natasha runs right into the turnbuckle! Rivenstone is gonna put this bitch out once and for all. She ascends the turnbuckle and grabs Natasha by the hair, pulling her in!

Axis: I think I know what’s coming, King!

Suicide King (jumping out of his seat, but is held back by Axis): No, not Natasha! I’m gonna save her Axis, I’m gonna save her!

She applies a front face lock and swings off the turnbuckle! Twisting Natasha and driving her head into the mat! Natasha’s body falls down, and is lifeless.

Axis: Tornado DDT!! And Natasha clutches at her neck, some damage might have been done to it.

Rivenstone isn’t finished though... oh no. She throws Natasha out of the ring, Natasha’s body rolls and connects with the commentary table outside.

Axis: Don’t even think about interfering, King.

Suicide King: Fuck you, fucky!

Card is still lying on the table in the ring, but is just beginning to stir. Arianwyn is on the outside beating down on Natasha, stomping on her head as she cries.

Suicide King: Stop doing that to her, you evil woman!

Rivenstone ignores King’s cries and continues the beating. Nocturna gets to her feet, rubbing her jaw... she pushes the timekeeper off his chair and takes it.

Axis: That wasn’t necessary, she could have asked. Hey, what’s this? It looks like Crow is trying to bring his bruised, bloody and battered body to its feet. (Sarcastically) Good luck, mate....

Nocturna wields the timekeeper’s chair, but doesn’t hit Natasha with it... she just lies it on the commentary table. Bloodmoon whispers something to Rivenstone, and a sadistic smile adorns the face of Rivenstone.

Axis: I don’t like the looks of this, King.

Suicide King: I think we better move, Axis.

And move is what the two commentators do as Bloodmoon picks up the beaten Natasha and rolls her onto the commentary table. Bloodmoon gets up on the table and applies a front face lock on Natasha...

Suicide King: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

Axis: NOCTURNA JUST DROVE NATASHA’S HEAD ONTO A CHAIR AND THROUGH OUR COMMENTARY POSITION! NATASHA IS HURT AND HURT BAD! She is not moving at all!

Arianwyn Rivenstone, Nocturna Bloodmoon and the crowd rejoice as the gothic goddess has been put out of commission.

Suicide King: You sick, sick, sick, SIIIIIICCCCCKKK PEOPLE!!

Card has fallen off the table in the ring, still dazed... he looks out of the ring to the carnage that just happened. He sees the face of Natasha, blank, lifeless... unconscious. Crow has crawled his way into the ring... and is by Chris Card’s side... he sees what just happened.

Axis: Crow and Card look at what has happened to their partner in crime, if you will...

Both men look at each other... and an understanding is somewhat formed between the two men, their eyes light up with anger and spiteful hate. Card helps Crow to his feet, both men are bleeding from their respective wounds. Crow and Chris Card suck their guts up and rush to the outside!

Suicide King: I think they’re a little pissed off, Axis!

Crow knocks Nocturna down to the floor with a huge roundhouse kick! Card takes Arianwyn out with a roundhouse kick as well!

Axis: I see what you mean, King.

Both men lift the women up, they whip the two women into each other and bang! The two women stumbles back into he awaiting arms of both men! Arianwyn falls into a big backdrop by Chris Card! Her back hits the ground with a tremendous slap.

Axis: Chris Card with the big move there! Back dropping Rivenstone right on the floor.

Nocturna stumbles back into a standing chickenwing by Crow...

Axis: WING AND A PRAYER SUPLEX ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR! Nocturna Bloodmoon is out fucking cold!!!

Crow: Card, get Arianwyn in the ring!

Arianwyn after the backdrop from Card is in large amount of pain, her back spasms as Card throws her into the ring.

Suicide King: What’s Crow doing? He’s gone under the ring, and what has he pulled out?

Axis: It’s a petrol can! I don’t like the looks of this, King!

Suicide King: ...how many times have you said that tonight? Obviously my charismatic commentary style hasn’t rubbe...

Axis: Wait! It’s Liam, Nocturna Bloodmoon’s servant! He’s back from the dead!

Suicide King: Where the hell did he go anyway?

Liam grabs the chair from the Natasha table wreckage and swings it hard into the back of Crow!

Axis: Ooh, nasty stuff. A chair shot to the back of Crow... and that back went through a glass light tube table earlier...

Crow let’s out a huge yell... but it’s not a yell of pain, it’s a yell of pure frustration and anger. Crow slowly turns around, and burns a hole through Liam... Crow’s eyes fixed on him. Liam sees he is in trouble and tries to run away but Crow holds grabs him back...

...

Suicide King: NATURAL BORN CHAOS!!!!

Axis: Liam has just had his head cemented in the floor by that devastating move! And Crow spits on the servant Liam in disgust!

Crow ventures into the ring where Card beats on Arianwyn Rivenstone. He has her in an abdominal stretch... he’s beating on her stomach as he stretches her out.

Axis: Card wants retribution against this woman for what has happened to his manager...

Suicide King: And Crow wants retribution for what happened to his lover... fuckin’ bastard, she should be mine.

Card throws Rivenstone down into the mat.

Axis: Well, why aren’t you tending to her?

Suicide King: She hurt my ego.

Axis: Hah.

Crow lifts Rivenstone off the mat by her hair, and Card takes position behind her. Crow lifts her leg up and pulls Arianwyn’s knee apart with a lightning quick dragon screw leg whip! Card hit a swinging neckbreaker at the same time!

Axis: Crow and Chris Card working together!? It can’t be true! But actions in the ring speak otherwise! Swinging neckbreaker, rapid dragon screw leg whip double team. Great stuff. Crow and Card working like they should, like a team.

Suicide King: Arianwyn Rivenstone is on the mat... not moving... Nocturna Bloodmoon is on the outside... not moving... Liam, the Disciples of Discord servant is on the outside... not moving... and Natasha, is lying in the rubble of a broken table... not moving. It’s carnage, Axis.

Crow and Card are running not on energy, not on adrenalin... but on hatred. Crow picks up the petrol can he brought into the ring and undoes the can.

Axis: Uh oh.

Crow pours it all over the table in the ring! Crow reaches into his pocket... it’s his lighter!

Suicide King: Crow sets the table on fire! It’s on fire!

Axis: ... once again, uh oh.

Card and Crow pick up Rivenstone, Crow hooking her left arm and Card hooking her right arm.

Axis: What the hell is this?

They lift her up in the air and SLAM HER THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!!

Axis: OH MY GOD!!!! Double Entrapment Suplex through the flaming table! And Rivenstone is on fire! Someone get some help down here!

Various safety people run down to the ring with fire extinguishers and stop the fire... on the table and on Arianwyn Rivenstone.

Suicide King: What a match, Axis! I mean, fantastic!

Axis: Was an excellent match, I agree. Brutal in every aspect, but I enjoyed it... in a sick kinda way.

Crow is lying in the ring, on his stomach, pain throbbing throughout his wounded body... shards of glass still stuck in his skin. The anger that fueled his movement is gone... he needs help out of the ring. Card bends over, and lifts Crow up to his feet, very slowly.

Crow (weakly): Don’t worry bout me, fuckin get Natasha out of here and to a hospital.

Card nods and hands Crow over to a medical doctor.

Axis: Card going to tend to Natasha, who is still layed out cold in front of us. And Crow is being helped to the back by two medical doctors, I think he’s gonna need a few stitches.

Suicide King: A few? More like one thousand you impotent imbecile.

Axis: Ahhh, go have a sex with a underage hooker, freak.

Suicide King: Go to hell.

January 27, 2003

"SJL ... Malice In Wonderland is back!" Axis shouts.

"Axis.. did someone give you sugar?"

"And what a show we've have already folks. The SJL talent on fire like a supernova."

"Axis.. man, chill. You don't have to say anything to get the pay check." King says smoothly

"They've been giving every effort to this rare chance to be on Pay Per View." Axis keeps shouting.

"And I think you are too. Poor shed loving fool." Mocks King, but with some real sadness.

"The time is here, we've got what's sure to be the must brutal match of the evening."

"With a name from Disney." King moans.

Funyon stands in the ring, looking nervously up at the Cell above his head.

"The following match is ...."

"King, so some excitement man."

"DAMNATION IN A BOX!"

The packed crowd in The Compaq Centre, Houston, Texas bursts to it's feet and a hail and roar of cheers.

"Above the ring is a 'Hell In A Cell' Structure. But, to make it more interesting, the Cell has been covered in barbed wire! The Cell has also been covered in C4 Explosive! Weapons will hang from the top of the Cell and be dropped every three minutes!"

At every sentence the fans cheer louder and louder.

"Victory can come from Pinfall, Submission, Ten Count KO or the opponent being rendered unconscious!"

"There is it. What is sure to be one of the most violent matches in the history of the SJL. Dace Night and Spike Jenkins have had run-ins in the past, and now, this is the final battle." Says Axis.

"And with all the build and tension around this match. How can there not be buckets of blood everywhere?" King smiles.

"What about the 'Psycho Driver'? Dace has mentioned it, but no body knows what the move is. He's vowed to introduce it to everyone in this match. Will Spike Jenkins will be it's first victim?" Questions Axis.

"Axis, stop talking, you're making everyone wait longer until this match starts."

"The Cell will now be lowered to the ring, but not switched on until both men are inside." Booms the announcement.

The menacing structure slowly descends of above the ring. As the camera zooms in, everyone can see that every inch of already flesh grating wire has been warped in brutal and flesh ripping barbed wire, to rend and tear every bit of flesh that touches it.

And at every cross section of wire, the small packets of C4 can be seen, primed, and ready to explode at the slightest touch once they have been armed.

On the roof of the Cell itself, hanging down, out of reach are the selection of weapons, which will be dropped at intervals for the wrestlers uses.

"King, you have no sense of anticipation, waiting only makes good things seem even better." Axis points out.

"Waiting doesn't get us viewers Axis. Flesh on steel and C4 with blood everywhere gets us viewers." King replies.

The crowd starts to stomp it's feet, eagerly demanding the match.

WE WANT ULTRAVIOLENCE! WE WANT ULTRAVIOLENCE! WE WANT ULTRAVIOLENCE!

"Now, for the two men who will be facing each other in Damnation In A Box!" Funyon booms out.

"First, he is from Hollywood, California! He stands six feet one inch tall! He weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds! He is ... 'HOLLYWOOD' SPIKE JENKINS!"

"King of Your Own World" stands to pound out as a shower of golden sparks rises up from the entrance way, blocking out the view. Slowly the sparks die down into a cloud of smoke, as Spike Jenkins steps out into it.

The fans rip into their well practised booing and jeering of Spike as he starts his walk down towards the Cell, gazing up at in. Probably in pant wetting fear.

YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!

Touching the Cell just for a moment, before jumping back, Spike tests the Cell. Laughter is heard from around at Jenkins' actions.

"Spike is afraid. Very afraid." Axis notes.

"If he was afraid, then why did he get himself into this match then Axis? He has some plans and ideas I'm sure." King answers.

Climbing between the ropes into the ring, Spike Jenkins returns the crowds friend gestures to more booing, as he waits for start of the match.

"And his opponent! From Birmingham England! He stands six feet four inches tall! He weighs in at two hundred and fifty four pounds. He is ... DACE NIGHT!"

The crowd erupts into cheers as "Winds of Creation" hammers out over the sounds of the crowd. The house lights drop and red and purple lighting. His hair bright red and purple over the shadow of black under. Spreading his arms, Dace lets his trench coat flap behind him as he walks towards the Cell.

Tagging some hands at ring, he slips off his coat, handing it over to a young woman with metallic red hair in the front row with a wink.

The crowd cheers even louder as he steps into the Cell. Dace's t-shirt is blood stains, and torn in places, it bares the logos of his former companies, KSW and CZW. Throwing up the horns, Dace brings on louder chanting from the fans.

"Here it comes, both men are in the ring." Axis shouts.

The nervous looking referee makes the signal, and at ring side, a switch is throw, and the Cell is engulfed in a flash.

Funyon booms once more. "The C4 explosives on the Cell are now armed and live!"

"Just kill each other already!" Yells King.

Spike and Dace step up to each other. Pressing against each other, glaring down at the other man.

Dace stands over Spike, but that doesn't make him back up.

Slowly they inch back from each other and look up at all the weapons hanging down from the ceiling before coming back to the stare down.

"The arena is on the edge of it's collective seat. Everyone waiting for the first move by either of these men."

START THE MATCH! START THE MATCH! START THE MATCH!

"See, everyone feels the same way as me Axis. Let's just have some damn blood." Says King.

DING, DING, DING!

The bell sounds like tolling of the bell for a condemned man.

Still standing, locked in a stare down, neither man moves. Spike tenses, dropping his weight back onto the back of his feet, and proceeds to stagger backwards as Dace slams home with a headbutt.

The arena bursts into cheers as Spike comes charging back with a right hand that gets caught out of mid air and Dace levels Spike with a hard right of his own. Springing back to his feet, Spike eats another hammering right hand, and then an Elbow Smash snaps his head backwards.

"What the hell is this? The goddamn eighties?" King cries.

Grabbing Jenkins by his shoulders, Dace drags him back, but Spike brings up his arms and digs in with a rake to the eyes, and without missing a heelish beat, plants a low blow for good measure, as the arena becomes filled with booing.

"I say again, what the hell is this?" King demands

"Some right hands, an elbow, an eye rake and a low blow. Would you like fries with that King?"

Taking advantage of Dace's doubled over position, Spike hooks his leg over Dace's neck, jumping up for a Rocker Drop. Spike rises up, and so does Dace, catching Jenkins' free leg and hauling him up for a Powerbomb. Playing all's fair, Spike makes a sudden change of his own, throwing his weight back and snapping Night over with a Hurricanrana.

Rather than going for a cover, Spike runs to the nearest set of ropes, and jumps to the middle rope. As Dace rolls back up too his feet, Spike springs backwards off the ropes, and nails the bottom of his boot into Night's jaw.

Taking a leap back, Spike rolls forwards, springs up into a somersault and crashes down back first with a Rolling Thunder.

"Rolling Thunder from Spike Jenkins, who is just trying to out pace Dace and keep him down till he can break out the big guns."

Keeping his body arched over Dace's chest, Spike makes a cover.

......ONE!

......TWO!

Kickout!

Pulling the Brummie Goth back to his feet, Spike lunches a kick that drops him back to one knee. Stepping forwards, Spike leaps off the knee, and swings a kick to the back of Dace's head, which connects with the back of thin air.

Rocketing back up to both feet, now behind Spike, reaching out and locking his arms in a waist lock, before taking the time worn arch backwards into a Release German Suplex, tossing Spike across the ring and onto his shoulders, which unlike his foot, connects with cold canvass.

"Dangerous Wizard, but Dace ducks and nails a Release German Suplex, looking for power moves that Spike can't hope to match." Calls Axis.

"But Jenkins has the speed and the skills."

Walking to the curled over Spike, Dace snakes his arms around Spike's midsection, and dead lifts all two hundred and two pounds of 'Hollywood' off the mat and up onto his shoulders with seemingly no effort.

"Dace Night just dead lifting over two hundred pounds over six foot in the air onto his shoulder."

Holding Spike on his shoulders for a few seconds before driving him down to the mat with stiff Powerbomb. Still holding onto Spike, Dace rolls him over, and drags him up, right into a headscissors, before pulling him back to the mat with a Piledriver.

"Powerbomb then rolled into a Piledriver, working on that spine and upper back of Jenkins." Comments Axis.

"Please, Jenkins is going to have a better gain plan I'm sure." Smirks King.

Holding onto Spike, Dace angles his shoulders down into a pin.

......ONE!

......TWO!

Kickout!

BUZZ!

"What was that Axis?" Asks King.

"The 'Big Guns' probably." Axis replies.

One of the sections on the roof of the Cell opens, and various weapons drop down into the ring.

Dace looks over at the weapons, but decides to take care of Spike first.

Scooping him over his shoulder, Dace signals for a Running Powerslam on Spike, but Spike is already kicking his legs, managing to push himself backwards of Dace's shoulder and back to the mat. As soon as Spike's feet touch the mat, Dace is twisting back round to face him, but Spike is already lunching into a dive, flying past Dace, grabbing his head for a neckbreaker, but Dace twists with it, forcing Spike to end up his feet, and leaving the two face to face again.

With a leap, Jenkins throws out his leg for an Enzugiri, which sails over head as Dace ducks, following Spike down, locking his arms around Spike's waist, leaving him on the mat in a waist lock.

Staring back to his feet, Dace tries to bring Spike up with him, but Spike breaks into a forwards roll, slipping out of Night's grasp.

Spike finishes rolling through, only for Dace to be right behind him and slap on another waist lock.

Dace drags Spike up, and this time gets him off the mat and over head. This time Spike counters by backflipping in the air and landing on his feet. Darting in behind Dace, Spike pulls his head back into an Inverted Facelock, looking for a Roll The Joint. A quick burst of back elbows to Spike's rips makes him let go of the hold and allows Dace to turn over, hooking Spike in a Facelock.

Lifting Spike up into the air, Night gets ready to dump him on his neck, but Spike leans his weight forwards, coming back down infront of Dace, but Spike keeps going down, dropping to his knees, and rolling, forcing Dace to be rolled over head and onto his back.

Throwing his body round, Spike bridges over Dace's back, and slaps on a Front Facelock before hauling Dace back up to a vertical base.

Reaching out and wrapping his arms around Spike's body, Dace looks to nail a Northern Lights Suplex. Dropping to his knees, Spike uses the sudden change to bring an arm over head and club Dace in the back of the neck with it.

Back on his feet, Spike drapes a leg across the back of Dace's neck, wrenching on his arm, going for a Rocker Drop. Copying Spike to a worked T, Dace drops to his knees, before lunching his body back up from the mat, which shoulders crashing into Spike's gut and chest as he takes him off the mat into a Fireman's Carry.

Going to the books for a counter, Spike throws all his body weight as best he can, making Dace release him or be thrown to the mat by the shift in the balance. It seems Dace is also going to the books, and brings up his knee as Spike reaches the mat, driving it into Spike's gut.

The two men trade moves so fast, Axis is taking notes to comment on it.

"Powerslam! No, a neckbreaker! No, an Enzugiri instead! No again, a German. Spike rolls through! Another German attempt, Spike flips out. Inverted Facelock, but Dace elbows out. Brainbuster, Spike drops down and forces the roll through.

Front Facelock, both men back up. Northern Light attempted, but a drop down. Rocker Drop, but another drop down and a rise into a Fireman's Carry. A swing off, and it lands in a knee to the gut!" Axis gasps for breath as he starts looking red in the face.

Dace snaps Spike back to attention with a stiff Knife Edge Chop to the chest, and then two more for good luck.

WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! WWWWOOOOOOHHHHHH! WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!

Finally Dace drops Spike to the mat with a textbook DDT.

“Can you here that roar King? There two men haven’t even broken in the weapons yet. Everyone in the arena is on the edge of their seats waiting to see what will finally happen when the hardcore elements come into play.”

The build is indeed filled with calls, chants, roars and shouting for hardcore action.

Finally able to turn to the first batch of weapons now in the ring, Dace picks up the first table of the night, and props it up in the corner on the turnbuckles. Picking up a chair, he sets it up in another corner,

Then taking up a second, he turns back looking for Spike, just to see him rolling past on the mat.

Dace swings round as Spike leaps into the air, twisting and throwing out his foot, sending the chair crashing back into Dace Night's face.

The fans have yet another reason to boo Spike out of the ring and into the C4, and they use it.

"Dace setting up some hardcore spot, but Jenkins uses the time to recover, and then nails an perfect RVD rip off Van Damniator."

"I told you Spike would have a better game plan."

Holding the chair behind his back, Spike takes a run up then flips over, and lands back first, rather, chair first, onto Night's head.

"Nice spot there from Spike. Somersault Senton with a chair over his back, almost crushing Dace's head."

As Dace clutches at his head, rolling up to cover up from any more chair dives by Spike, Spike pulls the table out of the corner, and sets it up by the ropes, and climbs on top with a chair.

"What is Spike doing?"

Standing the chair up on top of the table, Spike stands on top like a King on a Throne.

"He's going for the Ratings Grabber I bet." Calls King.

Spike dives off, but pulls himself back as he sees Dace rising up, and plants both feet into his back with a Missile Dropkick, sending Dace sprawling towards the corner with the chair.

With a Handspring and a double Cartwheel in perfect time to the crowds booing, Jenkins goes for a Tidal Wave, but Dace ducks and pushes himself out of the corner, while at the same time, giving Spike a shove, sending him off balance and straddling himself over the top rope.

"That's ring psych right there. That little shove from Dace sends Spike off balance and he gets crotched."

Not finishes there, Dace grabs the back of Spike's head and jerks it back violently, causing it to smack of the set up chair in the same corner.

Ohhhhhhh! The crowd cringes slightly at the blow, but without any real sympathy.

Still not done, Dace kicks the bottom of the chair seat up, throwing it off it's legs, and causing it to snap shut around Spike's head.

Aaaahhhhhhh! The fans respond to the stylish hardcore offence of the hardcore veteran.

"And Dace kicks the chair shut around Spike's head. More skull ringing tactics from both men. But a lot of head blows can really mess you up, affect your thinking, and give your opponent the edge." Axis comments.

Hauling Jenkins back up to a seating position on the top rope, Dace climbs up behind him, and reaches over him, locking his arms around his waist, and flipping him legs over head up across his shoulder like a Powerslam.

"Dace gets Spike set up for a Powerslam up top, but he's facing the wrong way."

Twist around on the ropes, Dace ends up facing into the ring. Still over Night's shoulder, Jenkins rests his feet on the turnbuckle behind him before wrapping his arm around his opponent's head and springing himself over, landing on the mat, holding Dace's head like a Diamond Cutter, but he can't pull Dace down. Spike thinking like only one in the height of fight or flight can, starts turning even as he hits the mat, bringing his arm over into a Front Facelock, and bounds up, planting his feet and the second rope, along with Dace's before sailing of backwards into a DDT.

"Super Powerslam, no Spike nails a Super Diamond Dust! No, Dace stays up top and.. in a flash Spike spins round into a Facelock , now he's on the second rope .. DDT from the second rope!" Axis yells rapidly.

"Boom! There's a match winner right there."

Spike and Dace lay sprawled on the mat, hardly moving from the impact.

A buzzer sounds again, and more weapons drop down into the ring.

Managing to force himself up from the mat first, Spike crawls over to the new weapons picking them up. A small heavy bag, labelled 'Thumb Tacs' and a bigger bag. Pulling it open, Spike reveals to the crowd several lightbulb tubes.

"Thumb tacs and lightbulbs, now things are hotting up." King comments.

As the crowd roars at the introduction of new weapons, Spike sets the lightbulbs up in the middle of the ring in a square. Pulling Dace over to them, Jenkins lifts his head up by the hair, looping his leg over Night's neck, looking for a Rocker Drop. He jumps once, but Dace brings his arms up, bracing himself and doesn't move an inch, so Spike hammers a fist into the small of his back before trying again. He jumps, and Dace shoves him away, and Spike is just able to land on his feet rather than topple back onto the lightbulbs, but the moments taken to balance allow Dace to crack of an Elbow Smash, staggering Spike, and then a knee to the gut, doubling him over. Pulling Jenkins back towards the ropes, the Brummie wrestler Underhooks both of his arms, lifting Spike off his feet, and breaks out into a run, going straight for the lightbulb tubes.

Flipping Spike forwards, Dace sits out, and drives Spike's back down into the lightbulb tubes, which burst into a fine mist of glass dust, and a scream from Spike.

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

"Looking for a Rocker Drop onto lightbulbs, Spike takes a Venom Driver onto them instead. With all this hardcore punishment, you have to do something that doesn't keep you down longer than the victim." Notes Axis.

Adding more injury, Dace keeps Spike pressed down onto the glass, covering him.

"And there's a cover on Jenkins."

......ONE!

......TWO!

......1/4!

......1/2!

Kickout!

Struggling back to his feet, Dace wrenches Spike back up from the mat, exposing his shredded back to the crowd.

"Look at Dace, he's disgusting, showing off his handwork to the crowd." Slimes King.

Pointing to Spike, Dace motions towards the Cell walls as the fans break into a huge wall of cheers.

"Looks like we're about to find out what this C4 can do." Axis says grimly.

Throwing Jenkins between the ropes to the outside, Dace follows after him, an evil grin across his face.

With his sense wide open from pain, Spike flails madly to grab hold something to keep him from eating a mixed grill of steel barbed wire and C4 explosive. Latching onto the ring post like a limpet, Spike holds on for his very life. In annoyance, Dace simply locks his arms around Spike waist and wrenches back.

Suddenly the arena is filled with boos and jeers as Jenkins jerks his foot backwards with a Low Blow, breaking Dace's grip, and then Spike kicks backwards with both feet, sending Night into the Cell wall....

A slit second pause, only noticed in the tension filled are and the Cell lights up as C4 explodes, sending off a shower of sparks, and a huge clap of the explosion. Dace Night topple to the floor with a thud, barbed wire that is hooked into his flesh trailing him, along with the smell of burning flesh, and the scared, blooded, destroyed mess of what is left of his back.

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

"Oh my god! Spike sends Dace Night into the Cell wall, and he just gets killed. I don't know how any man could survive that one!"

"He's done for, Spike has this one won, no problems." King smiles.

Straining with the effort, Jenkins pulls the body of Dace Night back into the ring, rolling him under the ropes. Standing over the charred remains of Dace, Spike takes the chance to taunt the downed man, and give the crowd reason to boo him, which they had anyway.

Spike makes a cocky pin with just one foot.

......ONE!

......TWO!

......1/4

......1/2

......Kickout!

RRRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHH! The crowd comes alive with a deafening cheer as Dace kicks out.

"I don't believe it. I don't" King says slowly.

"A C4 explosion from the Cell, and Dace STILL kicks out." Axis comments in shock.

Going from one Chris Jericho move to another, Spike picks up Dace's legs, wrapping his arms around them, and starts to turn over.

"Now he's looking for the Smoke Out. With Dace's back in that state, if he won't be pinned, he'll tap out."

Swinging his arms out for Spike, Night desperately latches onto Spike's arm, and does a combination of pulling himself up, and dragging Spike down. Turning to shake Dace's arms free, Spike ends up turning him back onto his back on the mat, so Dace pushes himself up by his elbow, and pops it forwards, cracking Spike in the temple, and Spike drops like a stone from the sudden blow.

Forcing himself up in great pain, Dace forces himself over to the Thumb Tacs, and a sole remaining lightbulb tube. Taking the cover off, he upends the Thumb Tac bag into the lightbulb tube, until it is full, before throwing the Tacs away, letting them scatter over the floor outside the ring.

"A surprise Elbow Smash to the temple floors Spike, and now Dace is making a little home made surprise with a lightbulb and some Thumb Tacs, this can't be good for Spike."

"it's never bloody good for Spike, some one just makes things unfair against him." King moans.

As Dace cooks up his own weapon, Spike Jenkins manages to get back up, and creeps up behind him.

"And Spike making a creeping advance." Says Axis.

"That a boy Spike."

BEHIND YOU! Yells the crowd.

It's too late as Dace turns, Spike leaps, and plants the foot in the back of Dace's head with an Enzugiri. Dace buckles, falling to his hands and knees, as Spike sprints backwards, giving himself a run up.

"Enzugiri! Dace goes down on all fours, what is Spike seating up?"

Groggily, Dace comes back to one knee, as Spike breaks into a run, coming at Dace before he can react, planting a foot on his outstretched knee, and following through with his other leg, driving his knee into Dace's head.

"Shhhiinnniiiinnngggg Wwwwwizzzaaarrrrdddd!" Axis yells.

SPIKE SUCKS! SPIKE SUCKS!

Another haunting buzz, another clang of new weapons falling to the mat. A barbed wire chair can clearly be seen, a large pair of scissors, along with the Grim Reaper's Scythe of Hardcore. The Weedwacker.

Finally seeing the table isn't going anywhere, Spike pulls it into the corner, propped up against the turnbuckles. Swing round, Jenkins takes up the barbed wire chair, and bares down on the still downed Night.

Spike swings in an arch, down to the mat, and the barbed wire digs into the ring canvas as Dace rolls out of the path of the chair. Spike strikes twice, trying again, but Dace rolls out of the way a second time.

Throwing himself forwards up off the mat, Dace rushes at Spike, who's caught off guard by the move, and Dace sinks his knee into Spike's open and unguarded midsection. Going with any flow he still has, Dace snaps on a Front Facelock, slinging Spike's arm over his shoulder, and bringing Spike backwards over head, twisting him around and dropping him into a classic stunner, bouncing Jenkins' chin and throat off his shoulder.

"Dodging a series of chair shots, Dace drops Spike with the Sentenced."

"Not again! If Spike have nailed him with that Barbed Wire Chair, he'd have it won now."

Going old school, to take it easy on himself, Dace smacks away on Spike's chest with a series of knife edge chops.

WWWWWOOOOOOHHHHHH! WWWWWWOOOOOOHHHHH! WWWWOOOOOOHHHH!

Winding back his arms, Dace levels a lariat across Spike's chest, knocking him back into the table in the corner.

Staggering back from the corner, Dace rises his arms in the horns to the crowd charges, not even leaving time for reaction.

"What the...!"

Leaning forwards, Night blindly dives into Spike, who can't move in time, driving him through the table like a wrecking ball.

"Gore! Gorree! Gggoooorrreee!" Axis screams out.

"Take some damn tranquillisers and be impartial." King snarls.

EC 'DUB! EC 'DUB! EC 'DUB! EC 'DUB!

In the wreckage of table and bodies, Dace Night and Spike Jenkins lay in a twitching and bloodied heap.

A hand shoots up like one of a man escaping an ice prison, and Dace grips the bottom rope, pulling himself up to his feet.

Standing tall once more the crowd roars for him, as Dace picks up his little home cooked thumb tac filled lightbulb tube.

"What does Dace have planned for Spike with that one?"

Jerking Jenkins' onto his knees by his fair, Dace squeezes on the side of his jaw, prying it open.

Sliding the lightbulb tube into his mouth like a bite bar for a horse, Spike looks out from wide glassy eyes as Dace snaps his knee up into Spike's jaw, and the sound of crunching glass, following by a gargled scream splits the air.

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

"OH MY GOD! A Thumb Tac filled Lightbulb Tube, Dace forces it into Spike's mouth, and then knees his mouth shut, forcing Spike to bite though the tube into the Thumb Tacs. That must have shredded the inside of Spike's mouth and throat.

"I'm going to be sick, I really am going to be sick." King whispers hoarsely

"Make up you're mind King. Do you want blood or pink fluffy clouds?"

Glaring down at the heavily bleeding Spike, who is busy trying to cough up blood, glass and thumb tacs, Dace gathers up most the chairs and barbed wire chair from the ring mat, and throws them over the ropes, down to the floor, on the side that is already covered in thumb tacs.

"Looks like Spike as a Steelbath in his feature." Axis notes almost grimly.

Looking longingly at the Weedwacker, Dace turns back to Spike, deciding to save it for later. Pushing Spike along the mat in a roll, Dace sends him under the bottom rope and out to the apron, and then steps through the ropes, out on the apron along with him.

Standing Spike up, leaning him over the ropes to keep him on his feet, Night crosses his hand other his throat, before tying his arms around Spike's waist and gut wrenching him over his shoulder, into the position of condemned man.

The calling and cheering in the arena rises to a fever pitch, as Dace steadies Spike over his shoulder.

"Dace gut wrenching Spike up. This is it. This is it, it's over. The floor is covered in Thumb Tacs, and chairs, and Dace is about to give Spike an express trip to it off the apron with the Dark Star Driver..."

However, before Dace can send Spike to his doom, in a last turn around, fuelled by pre-human fear and will to live, Jenkins takes advantage of being on the apron, and so right next to the ropes. Kicking his feet of the ropes, he flips over off Dace's shoulder, barely able to get his feet on the apron. Spinning to react, Dace is meet by a shower of blood into his face. Using all the blood coming from his mouth, Spike momentarily blinds Night.

Holding the top rope for support, Spike cracks off two rapid kicks, hammering into Dace's chest, flatting him against the ropes. Then Jenkins' kicks out as high as he can, and plants a final kick right into Night's face.

Slumping forwards, Dace hangs over the brink, staring down, as Spike lifts up his leg, lacing it over the back of Dace's neck.

"Spike has looked for the Rocker Drop before in the match, and it's cost him. Is it third time the charm?"

"Do it. Smash his face to hell!"

Spike leaps up and dives down, angling his body away the chairs and Tacs, and Dace's towards them.

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

"Rocker Drop from the apron! Onto Thumb Tacs and Steel Chairs!"

"Fighting spirit from Spike Jenkins. He can do this Axis. And he gets to mess up Dace in the process, great!" Notes King.

Climbing up using the apron, Spike struggles to raise himself to his feet, still spitting blood, as fans from all over the arena boo and jeer him.

Reaching over the mess of metal and blood on the floor, Jenkins drags Night up by the remains of his t shirt, revealing the mass of blood, and Thumb Tac covered flesh, a horrific mess.

"Look at that destruction. Those Thumb Tacs digging into every inch of exposed flesh on Dace Night, making him bleed even more. Is it enough for Spike to keep him down?"

Not even risking a kickout, Jenkins plants a foot on the apron, pushing off, slinging Dace forwards by his collar and pants, sending him face first into the Cell wall.

There is a moment when time stretches out, and Dace's already ripped and Tac covered face becomes stuck on the barbed wire, and then there's the deadly flash, as the C4 explosive goes of with a arena filling clap.

Convulsing, before finally dropping to the ringside floor, little left of his body, Dace stops moving completely.

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

"He's dead, he's just god damn dead King. That explosion was right in his face. I don't know how survived that, let alone how he could ever kick out." Axis says slowly.

Trying to steam the blood still flowing from his mouth, and the rest of him, Spike starts to drag Dace back into the ring.

With all the blood loss, Spike is having trouble pulling Dace's larger bulk up over the apron and into the ring.

BUZZ

While he's trying, the last objects drops from the Cell ceiling to the mat. A lightbulb and barbed wire covered board and a full sized window complete with frame and all. Spike isn't in any place to notice, as he pushes as hard as he can, finally getting Dace Night's body into the ring.

"The last few weapons in the ring, but Spike doesn't need it. Dace is done. All he has to do is pin him."

Spike slides into the ring, and drapes his body over Dace's, finishing him off, and ending the match.

The crowd boo madly as the referee drops down for the count.

......ONE!

......TWO!

......1/4!

......1/2!

......3/4

......9/10

......Kickout!

RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"He kicks out! He STILL FUCKING Kicks Out!" Axis screams over the roar of the crowd, which threatens to tear the walls down.

"NO! That's not possible. It's just not possible."

Any colour that was left in Jenkins' face that wasn't on the outside drains away in total shock and horror as Night's shoulder leaves the mat, and the referee's hand stops before hitting the mat a third time and goes firmly back into the air with two fingers held high.

Looking like he's about to cry in rage, Spike picks himself up using the ropes.

"Spike looks like he's about to snap. How could anyone deal with that. You drive someone face first from the ring apron onto steel chairs, then throw them face first into a C4 explosion, and they still will not stay down for the one, two, three."

Running his arms around and under the blood covered legs of Dace, locking his hands, dragging Dace back a few feet before rolling him over onto his front. There's no resistance or fight back this time round.

"Taking the easiest way he can, Spike locks on the Smoke Out. Dace isn't in any condition to fight his way out of it this time. Even though he kicked out, it'll have taking ever last bit of energy he has. He'll have to tap out." Shouts Axis.

"Glad to see you're finally releasing what's right infront of your eyes Axis." Smirks King.

Kneeling down beside Dace's head, the referee starts to check if he's even still conscious as Spike Jenkins leaves right back, wrenching on the bleeding and burnt remains of Night's back.

Snapping his eyes open in pain, swears violently at the referee, letting him know that he is damn well still conscious, Dace looks in vain for anything to help him.

Screaming in rage, Spike arches back even more, lifting most of Night's body of the mat he's pulling it back over itself so far.

Solemn booing rolls out over the arena as the fans give up any last hope they had.

Dace brings his hand up to tap, and then sees the doors the Last Chance Salon open wide, as his eyes lock onto the Weedwacker.

Looking back, Spike sees Dace's arm going down and turns back, yelling up joy. But then that yell turns to one of anger as he hears everyone burst in a roar of frantic cheering.

Spike looks back once more, and desperately starts trying to drag Dace forwards.

Just out of arms reach, is the Weedwacker, and Dace stretches with everything he has, trying to grab hold of it.

BANG!

BANG! BANG!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Not even clapping, the crowd bangs and hammers on every surface they can, creating a banging that fills the arena as Dace reaches out for the Weedwacker.

"Dace is looking for the Weedwacker, looking for anything he can use to save himself!"

All this happens in just an instant, the instant Spike starts trying to move forwards, but Dace's hand is coming down, and it clamps around the shaft of the Weedwacker.

Spike looks around at the roar from the fans.

Like King Arthur taking up Excalibur, Dace Night bursts into new life and power. Swing round over head, he smashes the end into the side of Spike's head, stumbling him forwards. Freed from the Smoke Out hold, Dace leaps onto his feet, ignoring all the pain and crippling injuries in his body while he has the time and the power.

Thinking back to the days of CZW, the days of Ultraviolence, Dace takes hold of that in his mind. Turning his will over, he finds the key, gripping the starter cord, and pulling back, as the Weedwacker screams into life.

WE WANT FUCKING ULTRAVIOLENCE! WE WANT FUCKING ULTRAVIOLENCE! WE WANT FUCKING ULTRAVIOLENCE!

Turning around, and trying to run backwards out of the ring at the same time, Spike stumbles, and makes himself a date with a classic.

Enraged in blood and bloodlust, Dace swings the screaming Weedwacker at Spike, slamming it into his gut, as the shower of blood flies up, as the fine blade slices though every bit of skin and body tissue in it's path.

CZ F'N' DUB! CZ F'N' DUB! CZ F'N' DUB! CZ F'N' DUB!

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"THAT'S SICK! JUST DAMN SICK!"

Spike Jenkins drops the mat, screaming, trying in vain to stop the blood pumping out like a fountain from his mid section and side.

Looking down at the blood covering every inch of his body, Dace throws the Weedwacker out or the ring, making sure it's not around to mess up anything else.

The he moves from Excalibur to a sacrificial dagger. He picks up the scissors in his bloodied fingers, taking out even more rage on Spike.

Stalking over, back to Spike, Dace kneels down beside his head, while Jenkins writhes on the mat in pain, Dace opens up the scissors, placing one of the edges to Spike's forehead, and slicing across it, causing even more blood to spurt out, as Spike screams in sheer agony once again.

"The sick fucking bastard. What a total fucking psycho!" King screams in rage.

"I can't believe some of the stuff I'm seeing in this match up. Dace just sliced up Spike's mid section with a Weedwacker, and now he's slicing up Spike's head with a pair of scissors. Those things are sharp and find cutting, they'll tear and rip the flesh, causing pain like anything."

Looking to out and out kill Spike Jenkins, not just beat him, Dace staggers over to the window, and the only chair left in the ring.

Standing the chair up on it's legs, Dace picks up the window and lays it across the seat of the chair.

"Oh no! Now what is Dace setting up?" Asks King.

"Why don't you just wait and see King."

"I don't damn well want to wait and see, unless Dace ends up eating that glass." King glares back at Axis.

Dace turns back to Spike, but staggers and crumbles to his knees, his energy spent from the last brutal assaults on Spike Jenkins.

"Hah! He's run out of gas. That'll teach him." King shouts out.

Gasping for breath, struggling, trying to keep going, trying to stop bleed, neither man is moving.

Blood has finally stopped pumping out of Spike's mid section and forehead, and now just runs out. Blood pulls under him, from his still bleeding back.

For Dace, barbed wire cuts still let forth blood, and thumb tacs can be seen sticking into his face, arms and chest, droplets of blood constantly coming from every one. Worse of are the areas of burnt and scorched flesh, marred in blood, from the C4 explosions.

GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE FUCK UP!

"The crowd demanding that the competitors to get back up, and finish match."

Blood covered, beaten and spent, both men stagger to their feet one last time.

Slowly, in pain, they force their bodies to move, and they cross the ring towards each, and they square up, just like before, only far, far more bloody.

"Deja Vu! Looks like we're going to go around one more time." Axis calls.

"What will happen this time round? Are they going to start shooting at each other with machine guns?" King wonders.

Slugging a right hand, Spike drives it home into what's left of Dace's jaw. Rolling with it, Dace slugs of his own right, hammering it into Spike.

Staring each other down, neither man moves, yet again.

In a F you to their bodies, and a roar from the crowd, Spike and Dace shift into action.

Dace swings a lariat, but Spike drops under it, wrapping his arm around Dace's head, setting him up for the Highlighter.

Pulling both his arms up, Dace grabs Spike's arm and pulls it away, turning with the arm, trying to pull him down into a Fujiwara arm bar. Swing his body into Dace's, Spike tackles into him, charging back with him. Both men fall back into a run at the ropes. Twisting to the side, Spike shoots Dace off, sending him across the ring.

Coming back across the ring, Dace rises his leg up for his good old favourites of moves, but Spike bottles out of the honour of the final battle and pulls the referee in the way, side stepping as he does so.

"Yakuza Kick! But Spike pulls the ref in the way, avoiding it. That ref is down and out. A Dace Night Yakuza Kick, he could have a concussion!"

"Spike is still playing the right game, the smart game."

Jenkins' turns to face Night, over the jeering and hatred of the crowd, and takes a boot to the gut for being sneaky. Bringing his arms round in a Front Facelock, placing Spike's arm over his shoulder, Dace digs down, and with titanic effort in his current state, gets Spike all the way up in the air.

Now back by the window across the chair, Dace throws his feet out from under his down body, dropping into free fall, driving Spike through the window in a shattering of glass, and a cracking of steel as the force of Dace's Sheer Drop Brainbuster puts Spike through both the window and the chair.

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

"Shhheeeeeellll Drrrooopppoooo Bllaaaiinnnbbbuuussttaaaaaahhhhh! Through a window and a chair!"

"Damn it! Can Dace keep to playing a clean game. Just once in his life." Shouts King.

"King, what the hell are you going on about? Can you just shut the hell up for once in your life." Axis shouts back.

In a twisted mess of steel, glass and frame, in a pool of fresh blood, are the remains of Dace and Spike.

White sound, sheer nose and volume, coming from every possible point covers the building. The roof and the walls themselves crack under the strain, as sheer will of the crowd, and the fact the crowd damn well want to see a finish the match that isn't a Ref Stoppage, there is a living demand for someone to get back up.

"Listen to this, listen to this King. the only way this crowd could be hotter is if the World Title was on the line as well. If the crowd is only going to get hotter, I don't know if I want to hear it."

"I'd comment, but someone told me to shut up." King says sourly.

"Can they get back up? After all they've been through already in this match. Is there anything left at all? Anything?"

It seems when everything is gone, every little bit spent, all the life is gone, there is no blood left to bleed, no wounds left to open, no swords left to draw, no bombs left to drop and no final come backs left to be made, there is only one thing left to do. Get back up and keep on going.

And Dace Night and Spike Jenkins do just that.

"The referee is still down, but now Dace and Spike are back up!"

With everything he has, Spike pulls out something he hasn't used in the match and lunches forwards with a Superkick, which crashes into Dace's waiting hands, before Spike gets sent for a spin.

Coming back round, Spike immediately lunches off another Superkick, sailing past as Night ducks under it. Twisting round again, but this time shoots out a knee. A smack rolls out over the crowd.

The fans start to boo, but then see the look of horror on Spike's face, as Dace Night, holding his leg twists behinds Spike's back and stands up, wrenching Jenkins' back across his shoulder.

"Torture Rack! Haven't seen Dace use that one before, but what good is it going to do him if the referee is down?"

But almost before Axis can finish his question, Dace makes a shout, barely heard over the crowd, but still loud and clear.

"Here Comes The Beast!"

"What did he just say?" King screams in horror.

"Did he? Did he just say that?"

Throwing Spike's body into the air, completely vertical, and so high his feet nearly touch the top of the Cell, Dace leaps up after him, wrapping his arms around the dead man's hips, before dragging him back down to the mat. Dace sits out, and a sickening snap and crack sounds as Spike lands on his head and neck.

HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK!

Everyone in the arena screams and yells on it chant at the brutal and deadly move.

"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSYYYYYYYCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO

DDDDDDDDRRRRRRIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Axis screams, almost bursting his lungs.

Leaning forwards, Dace places on hand over Spike chest, before toppling to the mat himself, barely keeping his hand in a cover.

"Torture Rack thrown into a Piledriver! I think I heard Spike's neck snap on that one! It's over, even if the ref is down, Spike is NEVER getting up!" Axis shouts.

"No! No! No! No!" Yells King "That's sick, someone stop the match, Spike is hurt, he could be dead, just stop the match."

Demanding a cover, the fans start a count of their own.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

"It won't do them any good. The ref isn't getting up either Axis." Says King with a madman's gleam of hope in his eyes.

"Don't be so sure King." Axis points out.

And slowly, like the birth of spring, there comes a twitch, and tiny bit by tiny bit, the referee beings to move.

The fans cheer him on, desperate for him to make the cover.

Dragging himself over, the referee finally reaches Dace and Spike. Night still has his hand over the lifeless corpse of 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins.

With the slowness of moving mountains, the referee counts, and the crowd follows it.

............ONE!

............TWO!

......1/4

......1/2

......3/4

......9/10

......99/100

................................................ TTTHHHHRRRRREEEE!

DING! DING! DING!

"He does it! Dace Night wins! The Psycho Drive, possibly the most deadly move in Wrestling ever put Spike down for more like a three hundred count than a three count. Spike gave his all, and Dace took it and sent it back three fold." Shouts Axis.

"Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner ... DACE NIGGGHHTTTTTT!"

"Winds of Creation" hammer out across the whole building as EMTs rush into the Cell, and the fans cheer on.

DACE F'N' NIGHT! DACE F'N' NIGHT! DACE F'N' NIGHT!

Helped to his feet by medical staff, Dace rises his arms to the crowd, and the roar of cheers.

Stumbling and tripping, Dace drops to the mat, and rolls out of the ring, making his way away from the ring, as the Cell is rises back up.

EMTs surround Spike, checking on him, and placing his still unmoving body on a stretcher.

Looking back towards Spike, Dace pauses for a moment, listening to the wall of sounds filling the building. Stumbling back to the ring, he rolls under the ropes.

"Oh no! He's going to attack Spike!" King shouts.

"Some how I rather doubt it King." Axis says dryly

Walking over to a stretched Spike Jenkins, Dace Night stands over him. Taking Spike's hand, he shakes it.

"See, he's attacking him!"

Ignoring King complete, Axis makes a realist comment "Show of respect from Dace, shaking Spike's hand after such a brutal match."

Turning to walk away, Dace is jerked up short as Spike holds onto his hand. Looking back at Spike, Dace shakes his hand one more time and rises up it to the cheering of the fans,

"And how can you no respect someone after going through a hell like this against them." States Axis. "And after all that blood. I think this may be a 1.0 on the scale, the ring and the floor are just covered in blood, and so are both then. Shared destruction in blood I guess."

Leaving the ring once again, covered in masses of blood, his clothes ripped almost to nothing, Dace hauls himself slowly over the barrier and into the waiting arms of the young lady that has his trench coat, as she helps him up through the crowd.

The fans surround his, chanting for him, as Dace, with the women in his arm, pushes through a pair of doors to the back of the arena.

"What a match. Just what a match, this is one for history. And will still have the two big matches featuring Wildchild, Ejiro, Fugue and Johnny Dangerous still to go on this PPV." Says Axis, as King sits white face, in rage and shock.

"And now we have to take a break to let the Network Bosses to yell at us all in private.. .. No, wait, I'm just hear that a camera man has caught up with Dace Night back stage, we'll go live to an on the spot post match interview."

The picture cuts out and flicks to on of some back stager corridor.

"Dace! Dace!"

Turning round very slowly, Dace eyes down the camera man brave enough to run after him.

"Yes."

"Who are you felling after such a win like this on Pay Per View?"

"Like total shit. And I seem to have misplaced quiet a large amount from my body." He answers.

"Where are you going now then?"

"To the hospital, to demand some Morphine. Like any sane person would.

I just don't want any useless EMTs pissing me off. And now I can say I walked out of that match on my own two feet. Spike Jenkins cant."

"Do you feel that your feud with him is now over?"

"For now." Dace answers carefully.

"Well, he did shake his hand out of respect after the match, even after all the things you've done to each other."

"Yer, well, it'll either show him some respect, or piss him off. We'll have to wait and see." Dace says with a small smile.

"What about this young woman?"

"Since when did you goes start talking to the fans? That's our job." Fires back Dace.

"Mmmm... ok. But I'm sure everyone would love to know.."

Dace and the woman turn off and walk off.

"Are you married?" Come a cry from behind them.

Both throw a middle finger behind them, but the camera zooms in and clearly shows the lack of gold on either of their left hands.

"She's gonna be my private nurse, and take good care of me."

Fade out.

January 27, 2003

TBS note: The end of this match wasn't given to me, due to PM problems. Whenever the end of the match is sent to me, I'll edit it in.

Zed note: Worry not, Stranglepants. Match has been edited in by moi.

Moments after the steel cage has been lowered down to the ring, and fastened into place, Funyon stands inside the ring ready to get this one underway.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Funyon bellows, “the following contest is the ULTIMATE FIGHT!” A few cheers slip in from the crowds as Funyon pauses for a moment, but just as quickly they fade out. “This match will be fought in the confines of the steel cage, but in order for one to win he must make his opponent submit or knock his opponent out for a ten count!”

Spotlights of every color begin to encircle the darkened arena as a lone guitar begins to play the intro to the Mission Impossible II theme, causing the crowds to grow restless with anticipation. It plays for a few moments, then abruptly stops...

“Oh God,” King says as he lets out a huge sigh, “here it comes.”

... a second of silence before the sexiest voice a woman could ever possibly have gently whispers the one name that can send these crowds over the edge.

“Johnny Dangerous!”

Almost instantly, the crowds jump to their feet and let out a tremendous cheer which is nearly drowned out as the Mission Impossible II theme kicks back in with the pedal to the metal, and a round of pyro explodes from the stage!

BA-BA-BA-BOOOOMMMMM!!!

Before the smoke can even clear out, the lean figure of Johnny Dangerous can be seen standing on center stage, which gets another tremendous cheer from the crowds! He lets a smile dash across his face as he raises his arms out to the adoring masses, while slowly beginning his walk down the ramp.

“Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, and hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada... JOOOOOOOHNNY DANGEROOOOOUUSSS!!”

Coming across a rather luscious blonde who is practically oozing out of her tube top, Johnny must stop and engage in a round of pre-match flirtation. She softly giggles when he flashes that cool smile. Her eyes light up like the Christmas tree in times square when he reaches inside his jacket, and produces a long stem rose that has every other woman witnessing this event jealous. “She’s so fake.“ one of them whispers, while even farther back one word is uttered from another femme fatale. “Bitch...“ Another smile from Johnny, along with a wink and he heads off to the ring.

“What a schmuck.” King gripes. Before the Suicide King or even the King of Hearts for that matter nobody had the women eating out of the palm of their hands better than him. Until this clown, Johnny Dangerous arrived and became so bold as to steal his suave style. To say the least... the Suicide King is not amused. “Not at all.” Adds King.

“Well, Johnny Dangerous looks all ready to go. Only one more thing needed and we can have ourselves a match!”

That last thing begins to answer the call as the house lights suddenly drop completely, and one of the most hated sounds in the Junior Leagues begins. Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D minor”. It slowly seeps through the sound system and crawls through the crowds, almost begging them to stand up and deliver the loudest boo heard all night, which they eagerly engage in!

“Will you listen to that.” says the Suicide King as he shakes his head in annoyance. “These people don’t know a real talent when they see one! They should be overjoyed that Fugue is gracious enough to show his presence here tonight!”

“I don’t think he has much of a choice. Besides, I don’t think Fugue would want to miss an opportunity to finally settle the score with Johnny Dangerous.”

After a few slow moments the music has grown into an upbeat overture of pain, highlighted with spotlights that trace the sides of the stage as Fugue himself steps out from behind the curtains to the not quite so adoring masses. For one man anxiously waiting inside the ring, the sight of the one who has wrought so much physical and mental torment is enough to sour his mood. From the stage however, everything is all smiles for Fugue. He stands at the top of the ramp and slowly raises his arms into the air, prompting a few plastic cups to be heaved his way. They miss as always, wrestling fans never seem to be very good shots which is good one it’s own. Nobody will ever blame wrestling for mad snipers.

Receiving about all the boo’s he needs for the time being, Fugue lowers his arms and along with that his head, quickly locking his eye’s onto one beady eyed Spy. He sends a smile towards Johnny just before raising his hand to his chin, rubbing it in a moment of contemplation. That’s what it would look like to a regular person anyway, but to a man who nearly had his jaw shattered... “Them be fighting words!”

“Looks like Johnny Dangerous is going to meet Fugue half way!” notes Axis as Johnny dashes towards the cage door and begins to climb out, but the Musician is already there! Grabbing onto the steel door, Fugue draws it back then swings it with all his might right into Johnny’s face just as the Barracuda is half way out!

WHAM!!

Although he can see it coming, there isn’t much else Johnny can do but stare in awe just before the steel wraps into his face, and knocks him over the top rope and back into the ring!

Fugue wrestles with his trench coat, flailing his arm to throw the coat off as he stomps his way up the steel steps to the entrance, and swings the cage door wide open. Hesitation? Not in the least for this man, who is more than eager to step into this steel structure of pain and get the final lesson underway. Less than a foot away, Johnny lies rubbing his throbbing forehead as Fugues hands begin to tremble with excitement, eager to sink there way into Dangerous’ hide.

DING! DING! DING!

“And we have an official start to this highly anticipated match!” says Axis. “Although Johnny might want to protect that jaw a little better, we don’t need anymore stretcher jobs tonight.”

For most men of a normal stature, having a steel door slammed in their face wouldn’t put a dent in much more than their ego. For a man who recently fractured their jaw, it’s enough to make one ball up and shed a few tears. Well, at least reason enough to make him reconsider whether this sort of match was exactly the thing he needed to get himself into. “Should I give up before something worse happens?” he ask himself as he begins to stand to his feet with his hand rubbing at his jaw. Memories of the humiliation he suffered begin to flood in like a raging rapid. The pain. The suffering. His integrity... the last thought changes his demeanor. The look of a man scorned emerges on his face, while his hands ball up ready to pounce on someone something fierce!

Quickly, Johnny spins around to meet his foe, but where is he? His eyes dash towards the cage door. Shut lightly and currently being locked up by one Sexton Hardcastle, Fugue is-

-Right behind Johnny as he quickly discovers when the Musician locks his arms under Dangerous’ in a double chicken wing, hoist him into the air, and slams him into the mat with a sneaky Coda! The fans come alive at the first sight of these two finally coming to blows, but the cheers soon turn to jeers when Fugue flips over Johnny while holding tight to his arms, landing in a perfect bridge, and locking in the Harmony in record time!

“Good God!” Axis shrieks, astounded at the quickness of the Magnificent Seven’s Chief Musical Officer. “Fugue has the Harmony locked in! This match could be over before it has really even began!”

“This is why Fugue has been chosen to join the elite in the SWF!” adds King. “He is just to damn good to be in the Juniors as you can clearly see. Johnny Dangerous thought he was humiliated before? Well, Mister... prepare to be humbled!”

Devastating as the move may be, Johnny hasn’t nearly been worn down enough to give in to this submission. Hall slides down to ask for Johnny’s yield which prompts the Spy to swing his foot as high off the mat as he can get it, sailing it right into the Musician’s crotch!

DING!

“Oh! low blow by Johnny Dangerous,” says Axis, “or would that be a high blow.”

“It would be called a cheap ass shot!” snaps King. “That was a desperation move. Johnny Dangerous was about to tap out to the best damn submission move on this entire pay per view, and he had to cheat to escape it. What integrity? Hun? Did he ever have any to take to begin with?”

Cheap but effective. It got Fugue to release the hold, and not only that but to crumple to the mat holding dearly to his crown jewels, allowing Johnny to roll onto his feet. Reaching down and grabbing a fist full of Fugue’s matted hair, Johnny pulls the Musician to his feet, and blast him right in the eye!

WHAM!

Fugue stammers back, covering his eye as the crowds explode with excitement for the real action has finally begun! Not giving so much as even an inch for the Musician to breathe, Johnny dashes forward, swinging his fist right into the bottom of his jaw, and knocking Fugue into the ropes!

WHAM!!

“Johnny is starting to come alive!” notes Axis, just before Fugue almost makes him eat his words when he rockets out of the ropes and slams his arm into Dangerous’ neck, flooring him to the mat! “Well for a second at least.”

“I’m glad you never tried to be a prophet because you would suck, Axis.”

Johnny hesitates for a second, then springs back to his feet ready to try this one again. “Got to keep him under control better.” He tells himself before making an about face, and Fugue blasts Dangerous back with a hard chop to the jaw that sends the spy rocking back on his heels. Pulling Dangerous away from the ropes, Fugue whips him across the ring--and the spy smashes back-first into the unforgiving steel, drawing a groan from the crowd. Grinning, the musician rushes forward to slam his shoulder into Johnny's chest, driving him again into the cage wall! The Super Spy staggers away from the wall as the audience boos Fugue loudly.

"And Fugue is STILL working on that jaw of Johnny's," remarks Axis.

"Well, DUH!" adds the Suicide King. "Fugue needs every advantage he can get in this match--any sort of area of weakness is fair game."

"But Johnny's jaw could be healed by now," counters Axis.

"Well...I bet it hasn't," the King grumps.

Fugue stalks his opponent, grin feral. He lunges forward--but Johnny catches him with a straight thrust to the chest, too quick even for the manic Musician! Fugue stumbles and Dangerous catches his head, leaping forward to pull Fugue face down to the mat!

"A beautiful neck breaker!" Axis cries. "Almost a Diamond Cutter! And, of course, FUGUE is known for having injured his neck some time ago!"

"Yeah, trust someone like Dangerous to take advantage of something like THAT!" the King snarls.

"I'm amazed at the gear shifting ability of your train of thought, King," comments Axis.

"Thank you."

Fugue quickly recovers and stands, rubbing his neck just slightly. His eyes narrow as they regard Johnny Dangerous, who also gets to his feet. The two warriors square off, the crowd cheering them on. Suddenly Fugue pounces forward and grabs a headlock, steering Johnny around the ring--but the spy elbows Fugue in the stomach, then ducks down and pulls Fugue onto his shoulders! Johnny takes a step forward, but Fugue elbows him in the head and slips down Johnny's back!

"I think Johnny tried to hit the reverse Samoan drop!" Axis says.

"But he tried that on Fugue once before," the King puts in. "Fugue always learns from his mistakes!"

Fugue grabs at Johnny's legs, pulling him back, but the spy slips out and moves away. The musician grins as he stands up again. They leap--locking up like true gladiators, fighting for purchase. Fugue slips his arm around Johnny's in a headlock. The spy struggles, but pushes Fugue away. Fugue bounces off the cage wall, hardly noticing the steel, and charges back to meet--a huge kick to the face! The crowd roars as Fugue goes down hard. Johnny quickly looks left and right at the audience, then runs for the ropes. He bounces off but Fugue rolls toward him, and Johnny overshoots! The spy lands nimbly on his feet, but Fugue springs up and catches his arms from behind!

"Johnny misses the Armed and Dangerous!" Axis cries.

"Yeah, but he should have known it was too early for THAT!" scoffs the King. "And now Fugue has a double chickenwing locked in, one of his FAVORITE holds!"

Fugue pulls Johnny upward, but Dangerous quickly gets one arm free. Undeterred, Fugue laces a leg around Johnny's and leaps forward, sending his opponent crashing to the mat on his face!

"Fugue can't get the Tiger Suplex, but manages a single chickenwing forward leg sweep!" says Axis. "His knowledge of a wide variety of holds is deadly!"

"I told you so~," hums the King.

Pulling Johnny off the canvas, Fugue sends the Barracuda across the ring and into a turnbuckle before quickly charging forward with a hard shoulder block. Johnny groans as he is shoved back against the cage. Trying to capitalize, Fugue pushes Johnny up to the middle rope. Sending a darting blow into the face of his opponent to distract him, Fugue turns his back and places his arms underneath Johnny's. But Dangerous recognizes the danger and shakes loose from Fugue's grasp, slamming his forearm down across the Music Man's chest again and again in rapid succession. As the musician reels, Johnny quickly wraps an arm around Fugue's head and propels himself off the turnbuckle. The back of Fugue's skull slams into the canvas with a hard impact.

"A REVERSE TORNADO DDT!" Axis yells over the acclaim of the fans. "What improvisational skill by Johnny Dangerous!"

"Ah, but how long can he keep this up?" the King asks, a sinister glint in his eyes.

The two men quickly struggle to their feet, not pausing in their grappling for dominance. Fugue hooks his arm around Johnny's neck, but the secret agent's elbow lashes out to catch Fugue in the stomach. The musician doubles over as the crowd roars. Johnny hooks both his arms under Fugue's, pulls him to the side of the ring, hops up onto the second rope and LEAPS out of the corner! Both men spin in the air as Johnny pulls his opponent down to slam face-first onto the mat.

"INCREDIBLE!" Axis hypes. "A double underhook TORNADO DDT! Johnny is really trying to punish Fugue's neck!"

"But Fugue promised he was going to be the one doing the PUNISHING!" the King counters. "Come on, Fugue, don't let me down!"

Johnny gets to his feet, shaking his head to steady himself after the exertion. Fugue pushes himself up even faster and lashes out with a punch, staggering his opponent. The secret agent attempts a chop of his own, but Fugue ducks and jabs Johnny in the stomach. As the spy reels, Fugue catches him around the neck and ducks his head down. With a tremendous effort Fugue hauls his opponent up in a suplex--the crowd roars uncontrollably as Fugue turns his opponent around in midair and sends him CRASHING down on his back! He stands over his fallen opponent, swaying dazedly, as the crowd gets to their feet.

"The elusive ORANGE CRUSH!" Axis cries. "What a spectacular move! Oh, both these stars are going to pull out ALL the stops tonight!"

"And Fugue's got a LOT in his arsenal!" the King adds. "We ain't seen NOTHING yet!"

Suddenly the prone Dangerous lashes out with a foot. Fugue stumbles, the breath driven out of his gut. Johnny hops up, whips his hand across Fugue's chest and leans down to grab Fugue around the neck. The crowd gets to their feet--a hard effort by Johnny and FUGUE is hoisted up into the air, then turned around and thrown down in HIS turn!

"And JOHNNY hits the ORANGE CRUSH!" Axis cries over the rampant applause. "I knew Johnny had more tricks up his sleeve!"

"I don't believe it!" the King says, staring.

Fugue rolls away and gets to his feet, stumbling almost unnoticeably. He focuses on his opponent and smiles--a tinge of respect coloring his usual manic expression. Johnny gets up, shaking his head, trying to focus through the exertion. He notices the musician's expression, and his own face assumes a smirk as he acknowledges the unspoken sentiment. Then the two combatants charge each other again, locking up in the middle of the ring as the audience shouts for more. Johnny attempts a knee to the stomach and Fugue responds with his own, staggering the secret agent. He tries to lock his arms around Johnny but the secret agent suddenly yanks Fugue over in a classical judo throw. As Fugue sits up, dazed, Johnny grabs his arms and pulls them backward, pressing his knee against Fugue's shoulders!

"A SURFBOARD STRETCH!" Axis yells. "And we thought Johnny was going to go for the count out--but there's no reason he couldn't make Fugue submit right HERE!"

"Yes there is!" the King counters. "Because Fugue DOESN'T SUBMIT!"

Fugue's grin becomes fixed and glassy, a gruesome rectos. His legs scrabble at the mat...and he gains purchase, almost dislocating his own shoulders as he pushes himself up off the mat! Johnny stares in disbelief, then loses his grip on one of Fugue's arms. The musician instantly spins and smacks Johnny in the face, sending the spy stumbling away. Fugue grimaces just a little as he shakes his arms out, staring at his opponent.

"Ha! I told you!" the King crows.

"But Johnny's done some damage to Fugue's arms!" says Axis. "Fugue's arms are his main weapon! This is definitely going to affect the rest of the match!"

Fugue stares at his opponent with a grim smile. Johnny recovers, staring back at his opponent. Dangerous sets himself in a martial arts stance, then lunges forward with a kick. Fugue ducks quickly and lands a punch--Johnny retaliates with an elbow but Fugue shrugs it off, kneeing Dangerous in the gut again, and again! As Johnny staggers, Fugue quickly ducks down and puts his head between Johnny's legs. He pushes upward, and Dangerous tips forward, dangling down Fugue's back...

...AND FUGUE SITS DOWN, BOUNCING JOHNNY'S HEAD OFF THE MAT!

"OH MY GOD!" Axis cries over the incredible roar of the fans.

"What the HELL was THAT?!?" the King yells.

"A DOUBLE LEG BACK PILEDRIVER!" Axis screams. "Also known as the CROWN'S GATE! Johnny Dangerous is down and quite possibly for good after that!"

Dead.

That’s about how Johnny Dangerous would appear, lying flat on his back and making no movements at all as Referee Anthony Michael Hall steps up to issue a ten count. Less than a few feet away and sporting a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon itself, Fugue tosses his elbows onto the top rope, crosses one leg over the other, and leans back into the ropes, eager to watch the demise of a spy.

“ONEE!” Anthony Michael Hall shouts while thrusting his arms into the air. Still no movement from Johnny, and the count goes on.

“TWOOOO!”

“Come on, Johnny!” Axis cheers. “You’ve been through worse than this, get up!”

“Please, Axis. I have no better respect for someone than a man who knows when his beat and knows when to stay knocked out! Johnny just need‘s to take that bit of respect and stay down before he gets himself seriously hurt!”

“THREEEEE!”

“Johnny hasn’t moved an inch at all!” says Axis with quite the worried tone of voice. “Maybe he came down on his head wrong!”

“That’s the whole point, you stupid Vic! If he came down on his head right he would of just got back up! This match is about killing each other!”

Nodding his head in constant approval, the smile stretched across Musician’s face grows even wider the longer the count goes. “You will learn, Johnny. Oh yes you will.”

“FOURRRR!”

“Oh, no.” Fugue says to himself, hearing the rumblings from the crowds starting to grow louder and louder. “Here it comes.” Say’s Axis, before a chant for Johnny Dangerous breaks out.

“FIVEEEE!!”

“DAN-GEROUS!”

And finally his body makes a quick jerk, showing the first stages of some vital signs.

“He’s alive!” Axis shouts with glee.

“DAN-GEROUS!”

“SIXXX!!”

“DAN-GEROUS!”

“He’s done for.” says King. “I expect him to just fall back down and take his highly anticipated loss.”

He raises his arm up, reaching out for the ropes, but alas they are much to far to reach and their isn’t much time left. “Time to pull yourself together, Johnny!” gritting his teeth while speaking to himself, Johnny rolls onto his stomach and begins to push himself off the matt.

“DAN-GEROUS!”

“SEVENNN!!”

“DAN-GEROUS!”

Still not good enough to end the count, the Referee keeps it going. “Such determination.” says Fugue while watching Johnny struggle to pull himself together. “If only you would just listen.”

“DAN-GEROUS!”

“EIGHHHT!!”

The crowds persistence seems to pay off, the louder they cheer the more it seems to drive this Secret Agent. Finally after what seems like forever and a decade, Johnny pushes himself up and stands to his feet!

“COME ON, DANGEROUS!” Barks the sadistic Musician as he wiggles his fingers in anticipation of sinking them into Johnny once again, but the Barracuda answers only with a stare. “You want your so called dignity back?” he ask, “then come and get it, you sorry son of a BITCH!”

“I don’t know if it’s all that wise for Fugue to egg Johnny on like that,” Axis remarks, “it could really backfire on him.”

“Please,” balks the Suicide King, “Johnny is on his last leg, he has no drive left. Fugue is merely trying to snare him into his trap!”

A trap that just might come into fruition as the daring words spoken by Fugue seem to cause Johnny to stir. Slowly he begins to pull himself off the ropes he had been using to support himself and makes a step towards the Musician... then stumbles back into the ropes when a bit of dizziness emerges.

“See, Axis!” King points out. “I told you he was done for! Johnny couldn’t possibly sustain himself with Fugue inside a steel cage!”

Fugue lets a soft chuckle escape from his lips, amused at the damage he has inflicted as he begins to close in for the kill. Johnny however, has decided that playtime is over! He grabs at his tie, loosing it and pulls it off, then begins to unbutton his sport jacket.

“What’s this?” questions Axis. “It would appear that Johnny is ready to lay a real beating on Fugue... whoops there goes the coat!”

“About time he took that crap off! I don’t know how he has gotten as far as he has wrestling in that getup!”

The sleeves are next. It’s times like these that Johnny is glad he purchased a quick release-easy to roll up- on the fly sparring shirt, and in no time flat the sleeves are rolled. The audience (Who are always easily amused to begin with) let out a thunderous cheer for Johnny’s little tirade, and another pop emerges when the Spy strikes one of his Kung Fu poses, raises his hand out to the always smiley Fugue and beckons him nearer.

“This ought to be good.” says King.

“Are you kidding?” says Axis. “THIS COULD BE THE FINAL SHOWDOWN!!”

Fugue rushes in towards Dangerous and swings for his jaw, but Johnny ducks and nail’s the Musician with a quick Mule Kick.

WHACK!!

Stunned out of his mind, Fugue nearly falls to the mat and fallen he would if not for Johnny reaching out and grabbing onto the back of his head just before running him across the ring, and slinging him headfirst into the side of the cage!

WHAM!!

His head bounces off the steel framework like a tennis ball, sending the musician stumbling backwards, and right back into a sharp drop kick to the back of the head by Johnny Dangerous, that propels his head into the steel frame for a second time. Latching onto the back of the Musician’s head with his meat hooks, Johnny peels him off the side of the cage, pulls him back, and thrust him back towards the cage.

WHA... “Not quite!” King shouts in joy when Fugue desperately swings his foot up against the cage, saving another round of his face meshing with the cage, and quickly he backfires with an elbow, nailing the Barracuda square in the jaw!

CRACK!

“Another shot to the jaw!” Axis comments. “I can’t believe Johnny would leave himself so exposed for that.”

“It’s not like he’s trying.” King retorts. “Johnny is just to lousy of a wrestler to put a stop to Fugue’s game plan.”

“What game plan? This is starting to look like some fight on the corner of fifth and Lincoln. If they keep this up, one of them will be leaving in a body bag.”

“What’s wrong with that?” counters King. “Think of the buy rates that would produce for the Tuesday rebroadcast.”

Not wanting to get King to far wound up, Axis simply ignores the statement, focusing his attention back towards the ring where Johnny is cradling his jaw just seconds before the Maniac Musician clasps his hands together and drives a spinning backhand to Dangerous’ temple! SMACK! The force of the blow sends Johnny on a one eighty degree spin, knocking him completely off balance, and sending him face first to the mat! The Barracuda looks up from the mat, seeing that the ropes are in a reachable distance, and begins to slowly edge his way...

WHAM!!

“I don’t think so.” mutters Fugue as he stomps his foot into the back of Johnny’s head, rocketing his head hard into the canvas! WHAM!!

“Good God!” remarks the Axis, astounded at the ferociousness displayed by Fugue. “He really is cutting loose.”

Hall prepares to begin another ten count but before he can even utter ‘one’, Fugue grabs onto Johnny by his chin and hoist him up to his feet. He grits down hard on his teeth as he rears back with Dangerous’ head, and thrusts it back into the mat with a bit of a grunt added from the Musician! WHAM!! Johnny’s head crashes into the mat hard, bouncing his cranium a good inch or two off the mat before slamming back into the canvas! The crowds begin to rile up with an assorted variety of booing and hissing towards the Magnificent Seven member as he raises his foot over the back of Johnny’s head, but the Referee makes the save, pushing back on Fugue so he can begin his ten count.

“What the hell was that?” ask the Suicide King, extending an open palm towards the ring. “There are no rules here against gratuitous violence. Hall is playing favorites here, I can smell it!”

“Please, King. Anthony Michael Hall is about as fair as they come. I mean come on now, what do you want him to do? Let them kill each other in there? He has to draw the line at some point, and I think stopping Fugue from curbing Johnny Dangerous is a pretty good call.”

Hall throws both of his arms into the air, shouting out the beginning of the count. “ONE!!”

Behind him one man, is less than thrilled to be shoved back on. Especially by a damn Referee! He grits down on his teeth and clenches his fist. His body trembles as anger begins to come over him, causing the Musician to act without thinking of the outcome as he steps forward and grabs onto Anthony’s shoulder just as he raises his arms back up for the count.

“TW...” Fugue spins him around and blast him in the eye, knocking the poor Referee for a loop! Quickly, the Musician locks his arms around Hall’s waist, hoist him up and over, slamming him on his neck with a German Suplex! WHAM!!

“WHAT!!” Shouts Axis with his mouth dropped wide open! “What the hell is he doing?”

“Teaching the Referee a damn lesson. Fugue is a teacher and as such, school is always in session. Maybe now Anthony will think twice before shoving back on a superior wrestler.”

Amused by his handwork, Fugue wipes his hands against each other then turns his attention back towards-

“WATCH OUT!” warns King!

WHAM!!

A Super Kick that Fugue never saw coming, which instantly floors the Musician after the shock waves of the kick jar his brain and put the lights out... usually.

“YES! YES!” exclaims Axis along with the crowds who light up with a wondrous cheer, which proves to grow only louder when Johnny raises his head out to the masses, hovering over Fugue’s body. “This is it, King!” shouts Axis while latching onto King’s arm and shaking it with glee. “The most devastating move in the entire Junior Leagues, the Armed and Dangerous!”

With the speed of a Cheetah, Johnny takes off at a full sprint for the ropes, hitting them he sinks back as far as possible then rockets out of them headed right back for Fugue. With only inches to spare, Johnny lunges into the air, pulls off a beautiful flip while extending his fist, clasped together and comes down onto Fugue’s head!

NO! Just before he can connect, Fugue rolls quickly rolls himself out of harms reach, letting Johnny crash down into the mat face first and looking like a plum fool!

“HA-HA!” King points towards Johnny with a round of laughter although barley audible over the astoundingly loud boo’s that come tumbling down from the crowds. “What an Idiot, all he Armed and Dangerous-ed was the mat!”

Fugue stands to his feet, rubbing at his jaw which slightly smarts from the Johnny Kick he took, but not enough to put him out of order. Slowly a smile emerges through Fugue’s face again as he lets out a bit of a chuckle towards Johnny Dangerous, who only looks up towards the Musician with a look of anger. “You just don’t get it, do you, Johnny.” says Fugue. “You will never be anything but flash, and that flash will get you absolutely no where in this business.”

“WHAT’S HE SAYING? WHAT’S HE SAYING?” Axis curiously ask.

“Will you shut the hell up, Axis?” growls King. “I’m trying to hear for myself!”

Words spoken by the Musician are paid no mind to by Johnny, who scrambles to his feet and lunges towards Fugue swinging his fist! Fugue easily ducks without much of a problem, dropping down he swings his leg out and sweeps Johnny’s feet out from under him, sending the Spy back to the mat. “See, Johnny.” Fugue begins again. “I have total control. Nothing you do will ever stop me, this is my world and up until now I have allowed you to play in it!” Johnny growls as he once again leaps off the mat and tries to tackle Fugue, who seems to have a rather bad case of diarrhea of the mouth! The Musician swats him away, and nails Dangerous in the back of the head with a punch, laughing as he does.

“See,” King points out, “Fugue is so amused by Johnny thinking he can beat him that he is laughing in his face!”

“I don’t know what that’s all about. Fugue is one disturbed individual, that’s for sure.”

Laughing all the way, Fugue cranks his fist into the back of Johnny’s head, over and over, and over, until Dangerous is put down to the mat. “I’m just too good. Learn by example, Johnny.” Johnny scowls towards Fugue as once again he begins to pull himself up, anger begins to pump through his veins towards Fugue and his laughing. Growling he again lunges towards the laughing Maniac, picking him up and running him into the turnbuckle.

WHAM!!

His bones crunch against the metal post, but the more Johnny tries the harder the laughter comes spilling out, driving Johnny to a near brink of insanity! Dangerous swings his fist out, but the Musician persist until Johnny is forced to take a step back, steam almost pouring from his ears!

“Johnny better get a hold of himself!” shouts Axis. “He’s getting really pissed off, and it’s going to throw his concentration off. Don’t let it get to you, Johnny!”

Johnny clenches down hard on his fist, gritting down on his teeth all the while Fugue laughs and lets out a mighty “WOOOOOO!!” which produces a loud jeer from the crowds. “NO MORE!” Johnny tells himself before cutting loose with a loud battle cry, and rushing for Fugue while drawing his fist back.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” He screams as he swings his fist out with all his effort, slamming it into Fugue’s temple! WHHAAAMMMM!!!! The blow more than snaps Fugue’s head to the side, instantly silencing his cackling.

“WOAH!” Axis is drawn back by the sudden blitz! “I don’t think I have ever seen Johnny Dangerous hit someone so hard! Fugue has pushed him over the edge and all the way to the bottom of the ravine!”

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!” Shouting his words into Fugue’s face, madness seemingly begins to overcome Johnny. Grabbing his foe by the neck and forcing him down onto the corner turnbuckle, Johnny rears his arm back and slams his fist into the Musician‘s skull! WHAM!!

And again! WHAM!!

“SORRY!” WHAM!!

“ASS!” WHAM!!

“MOTHER!” WHAM!!

“FUCKER” WHAAAMMMM!!!!

Johnny sails his last punch right into Fugue’s forehead, which almost snaps his head off his neck! Releasing his hold on Fugue, Johnny takes a quick step back letting the Musician stammer forward, and quickly sends a Spinning Heel Kick into the Magnificent Seven member’s chin!

KA-RACK!!

Blood begins to drip profusely from Fugue’s mouth as he stumbles back, and Johnny cuts loose with another Spinning Heel Kick, nailing him in the exact same spot as before!

KA-RACK!!

No? Fugue still stands after his body completes a three hundred and sixty degree spin from the blow, although barley. Any moment now and consciousness will fade from his soul, but that’s too long for Johnny! Dangerous makes another spin, throwing out his leg and nailing Fugue with a third and final Spinning Heel Kick!

KAA-RAAACCCKKK!!!

The final attack knocks Fugue off his feet and into the ropes, which toss him forward into the mat! The fans rejoice with a huge roar of approval after seeing the man they wouldn’t so much as dare to even piss on him if he were on fire trashed so harshly. Johnny stands breathing deeply, with his eyes locked onto Fugue’s waiting for him to move.

“My God,” says Axis, “Johnny just went completely nuts on Fugue there! We might need to get a medic into that ring fast!”

“What for?” King ask, his finger points towards the ring. “Look Fugue’s getting up!”

The look on Johnny’s face is simply priceless when he sees Fugue beginning to get back up. “How the hell?” The Musician reaches for the ropes, with blood oozing from his mouth, not sure of exactly where he’s at but knowing he must go on. Johnny can’t do much more than stand in complete awe, wondering just what in the hell will it take to put this man down.

“I told you, Johnny!” Shouts Fugue, barley able to stand his finger points towards Johnny but his knees almost give out on him, forcing him to take residence against the ropes. Dangerous steps forward with his fist once again balled up, but Fugue lashes out with a palm strike almost nailing Johnny flat in the face, and connect he would have if not for such a wild attempt which the Barracuda ducks under, raises up and locks both his arms under Fugues with a double chicken wing!

“No way!” says King, but way it is as Johnny lunges into the air and back, pulling Fugue along for the ride, slamming the Musician down into the mat with a-

“CODA!” Shrills Axis! “BY GAWD, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! JOHNNY DANGEROUS JUST NAILED FUGUE WITH HIS OWN MOVE A GOD DAMNED CODA!”

“WHAT? WHAT? JOHNNY CAN’T DO THAT!” whines King, but Axis is quick with the rebutal. “THE HELL HE CAN’T HE JUST DID! If he turns this into a... HE IS! HE IS!”

After being snared into this move more times than he would like to remember, Johnny knows exactly how to pull it off. He kicks off of Fugue’s back, flips over and lands in a not quite as perfect as Fugue but reasonably tolerable BITTERSWEET HARMONY!! Instantly, the crowds rejoice like Jesus himself just came down through the rafters! Cheering until their heads almost explode!

“SOMEBODY STOP THIS MADNESS!” demands the Suicide King, completely repulsed by Johnny hacking up such a perfect move.

“Your just mad because finally I can shout... HARMONY! Johnny has it locked in, and Fugue is writhing in pain! will he tap! will it finally be enough to stop this match!”

“If the referee weren’t knocked out.” says King.

“Oh... I almost forgot about that. Thanks, King.”

“No problem. Now... THAT SON OF A BITCH! HE HAS STOLEN FUGUE’S MOVE AND HE DON’T EVEN HAVE IT LOCKED IN RIGHT!”

Letting out a blood curdling cry of pain, Fugue tries to keep it under control. Johnny grunts as he bares down even harder, almost breaking the Musician’s arms off his shoulders in the process! Like a good Referee, Anthony Michael Hall finally summons the urge to awaken! He looks over towards the mangled wreckage and “SHIT! A submission!” Hall scrambles just as fast as his damaged body will let him go, towards the attempt!

“Damn! I should of just kept my mouth shut about the Referee.” says the Suicide King. “I should have knocked on some wood... or Formica in the case of our table.”

“Look, King! He’s about to tap!’

After forever and a day, Hall is close enough to ask the Musician if he submits, but receives no response. His body slumps down, held up only by Johnny Dangerous prompting Hall to check on his status. He grabs onto Fugue’s arm and raises it into the air. Releasing it, the arm immediately drops to the canvas.

“ONEE!!” Hall shouts as he grabs onto the Musician’s arm again, and raises it into the air. Releasing it for a second time the arm repeats itself, dropping to the canvas.

“TWOO!!”

“THIS IS IT!” screams Axis in tender delight! “THIS IS IT!”

“THE HELL IT IS! COME ON FUGUE!”

For a third time, Hall grabs onto the Musician’s arm, raising it high into the air. The crowds release a loud pop in anticipation of it dropping again, and Johnny bares down as hard as he possibly can! Hall hesitates for a second then with out further adue, releases the arm.

Which drops, slowly falling towards the canvas....

until his arm hits the mat, for the third time!

“THREE!!” Hall shouts as the crowds blow the roof off the building with a tremendous cheer! “He’s out, Johnny! Let him go, let him go!”

DING! DING! DING!

“NOOOOOOO!!!” King slams his fist into the table almost knocking it in two! “This can’t be happening!”

The moment Johnny hears the sound of the bell ringing out, he knows he has clenched victory firmly into his grasp. He lets go of Fugue, letting the Maniac slump towards the mat as Hall grabs onto Dangerous’ arm and raises it in the mighty ‘V’!

“Your winner of the Ultimate Fight,” Funyon booms, “JOOOOOOOHNNNY DANGEROOOOUUSSS!!”

The crowds explode with another round of applause, but Johnny sense there is more to this than what would appear to be. With his foot, he rolls Fugue over onto his back, who’s face is covered in blood. Johnny stares hard at the Musician, noticing that still on his face is that familiar smile. He stares for a moment, then shakes his head as he takes a step back and throws his arms into the air, while the Mission Impossible II theme pounds through the arena!

“Won he has,” Axis adds, “in what must have been one of the most brutal matches I have ever witnessed in my commentating career! These two took each other from one end of the earth to the other, but in the end it was Johnny Dangerous who was able to lay claim to victory tonight.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that!” snaps the Suicide King, eager to get his point of view across. “Fugue may not have actually won this match, but has he lost?”

“Of course he has, just look at...”

“NO!” King interrupts. “Did Fugue accomplish his goals? This entire time he has been trying to teach Johnny Dangerous how to become a master at this game. Don’t ask me why, but for some reason Fugue saw past all the flash and whatnot of Johnny Dangerous and set out to create a truly exceptional wrestler out of him.”

“Oh come on now, King.” still finding the whole teacher-student theory a bit hard to swallow, Axis is quick to dispute it. “Even if that was the case, why would Fugue want to teach Johnny Dangerous anything? That would just make his climb to the top even harder if he made Johnny better.”

“Don’t ask me, Axis.” King calmly says. “I don’t come up with this stuff, I just comment on it.”

“Well, coming up next we have our grand finale. The other match you all have been dying to see! Wildchild going toe to toe for the last time in the Junior Leagues with Ejiro Fasaki, and the World Heavyweight Championship on the line!”

“Jesus Christ, Almighty.” King sighs heavily. “How many times does Ejiro have to kick that painted circus freak’s ass? Hopefully this will be the last time!”

“Hopefully we will have a new champion when it’s all said and done.” Axis adds. “That match is coming up next!”

January 27, 2003

“And now, standing by with the World Champion Ejiro Fasaki for some last minute comments before the final showdown with Wildchild… is Ben Hardy. Take it away Ben.”

The focus of the camera shifts from the announce team to the sight of interviewer Ben Hardy and The World Champion, Ejiro Fasaki, standing backstage. Ejiro looks as confident as always with the belt over his shoulder as he waits for Ben to ask a stupid question.

The little pain in the ass speaks, “Thanks Axis! What a night of action it has been thus far and there is still more great action to come here tonight. But perhaps the most anticipated match up of the evening is going to feature the final war between “The Emperor” and the Bahama Bomber… Mr. Fasaki… with only a little time left before that show down, what are your thoughts?”

“My thoughts? Ha. That’s a good one Ben Hardy. Like anyone in this entire building has ever cared what Ejiro Fasaki had to say. Like any one of the millions of fans watching at home gives a damn about what I might tell them regardless of how it would improve their lives. I’m a man who is not to be appreciated in his own time, Ben, and I think I’ve come to accept that now. I have done everything there is to do here in the SJL my friend. I’ve been the Ejiropean Champion… I am the World Champion. But still … no one wants to listen to me or to watch me or to even talk about me. Because they still all think they are better than me. And they always will, no matter how much I prove it.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Sigh… Ben… I have told the world time and again what Ejiro Fasaki stands for. I have told the world exactly who I am and why I do the things I do. But they refuse to listen. They refuse to adapt. And because of that, I had to make examples. Examples like Wildchild… whom I have beaten time and again since we first crossed paths. Yet here I am, doing to same thing I have always done and somehow I have yet to feel appreciated for it. So I have to think that once I’m gone… that’s when the people will realize what they had in Ejiro Fasaki. Maybe then, they’ll appreciate what I did and who I was. But … that is their problem.”

“Wait, where are you going?”

Instead of answering the question, Fasaki merely smiles before walking off camera to the annoyance of Ben Hardy.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see? Back to you Axis.”

January 27, 2003

“And now fans, it is time for the main event of the evening,” declares Axis as a buzz starts to build around the ring, “The time for talk has ended. The time for action is just moments away. This is to be the final battle between The Wildchild and the SJL World Heavyweight Champion “The Emperor” Ejiro Fasaki. For months on end, these two have battled back and forth again and again in all sorts of different matches and situations. But never have they battled it out one-on-one for the World Heavyweight Title like they will here tonight. This is truly for all the marbles.”

“But what you failed to mention, Axis,” chimes in the Suicide King in the most sarcastic tone possible, “Is that outside of one fluke occurrence, Wildchild has never been able to get the job done against Fasaki, and there is no chance that will happen again tonight. Lightning never hits the same place twice.”

“So says the Gambling Man, but moments from now it will not matter what anyone has to say. These two men will settle their issue once and for all inside the confines of the squared circle. So without further ado, let’s go to the center of the ring to Funyon with his ring introductions for this contest.”

DING!

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome one and all to the MAIN EVENT for this evening! This match is scheduled for one fall with no time limit and is for the SJL WORRRRRLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!”

With that announcement, the fans in attendance let loose a solid cheer in anticipation of the action that they all paid their hard earned money to see. Funyon looks about at the throng of people with a smile as the din rises ever more to a crescendo of applause. But that pales in comparison as the fans erupt at the sound of “Everlasting Gaze” by the Smashing Pumpkins pumps into the arena from the state of the art sound system. Finally as the song draws to a close, fireworks blast into the air with thunderous explosions again and again high above the crowded arena. When finally, from behind the curtain comes the favorite son of the Smarks Junior League, none other than Wildchild! Looking out to the crowd with his usual smile, Wildchild rocks his head back and forth for a moment before striding down the aisle. Slapping hands with the assembled wrestling fans, Wildchild makes his way down to ringside. Circling the ring, Wildchild makes sure that every fan at ringside has a smile on their faces before taking a little jog and somersaulting right between the middle and bottom rope before easily tumbling to his feet to the roar of the fans and the flashing of their cameras. Leaping up to the middle rope, Wildchild lifts his arms high to the people while Axis and The King of Hearts analyze the situation.

Axis says, “Wildchild does not appear to be the least bit nervous about this match up coming. He seems incredibly loose and without any of those butterflies that plague a number of wrestlers in their pay-per-view debuts.”

The Suicide King answers that, “Well sometimes, Axis, those butterflies are what keeps you going. Sometimes that nervous edge is just what someone needs to take that next step. We will see just how that plays out when this match gets under way.”

The King will not have much longer to wait as the sounds of Biohazard’s “Sellout” starts to roll in from the outer reaches of the arena. The crowd’s mood immediately changes for the worse as they await the appearance of the deadly World Heavyweight Champion. When through the curtain comes a long black Chevrolet convertible! A chauffer cautiously drives the car down the ramp as, sitting in the back seat with his feet hanging over the side, is none other than “The Emperor” himself, Ejiro Fasaki. Riding down the ring in style, Fasaki merely waves his arms at the people dismissing them from the luxury of his modern day chariot. The car comes to a stop mere feet from the ring before Ejiro Fasaki stands up in his seat. Looking out to the people, Ejiro raises one arm to the sky as pyrotechnics blast from all four of the turnbuckles high into the air. Looking at the people with a smile, Fasaki leaves the confines of the automobile and steps to the arena floor. Slowly walking to the corner of the ring, Ejiro regally walks up the ringside steps with his World Title belt in hand. Parting the ropes, Fasaki makes his way into the ring before climbing up to the middle ropes for one last look at the people before getting ready for combat.

DING!

As both wrestlers go to their corners and referee Matthew Kivell stands between them with the World Title belt in hand, Funyon readies himself to complete his duties as the announcers continue to break down the contest.

“Some of you at home might be wondering about the whereabouts of Tony Hydra, or the Magnificent Seven or even the other members of Wild and Dangerous Nights,” remarks Axis. “Well fans, let us just say the powers that be wanted this match to finally settle the issue between these two men. And that was just not going to happen with all those extra distractions. So all of those people have been banned from ringside until the conclusion of this contest. This match will be contested one-on-one. There will be no excuses, only a winner and a loser in this one.”

Funyon looks at both men on either side of him before pulling the microphone up to his lips once more to begin the official announcements for this match up.

“First, introducing the challenger in the ring to my left, he is wearing blue tights with black trim. He weighs in tonight at 217 pounds and stands five feet, eleven inches. He is the pride of Morgan’s Bluff in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas. The Bahama Bomber, WILDDDDDDDDDDDCHILLLLLLLLLLD!”

The crowd once again showers The Wildchild with a plethora of cheers as a chant of his name breaks out among the people. But The Wildchild is not taking his eyes off of the man he really came to The Compaq Center to see… Ejiro Fasaki.

WILD! CHILD! WILD! CHILD!

“And his opponent... He is standing in the ring to my right and wearing black trunks this evening. He tips the scales at 190 pounds and measures five feet and eight inches. He is the former SJL European Champion, and the reigning, UNDISPUTED, SJL Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOORRRRLD… Coming to us from beautiful Sarasota, Florida, he is a member of The Magnificent Seven. This is “THE EMPEROR” EJIROOOOOOOOOOO FASAKIIIIIIIIII!”

Both men step forward and go nose to nose as the referee gives them last minute instructions that can be heard over Funyon’s microphone, “Okay gentlemen, I went over the rules with you both earlier in your locker rooms. Obey my commands at all time and let’s have a good clean match. At my command, return to your corners and we’ll get this started at the bell. Good luck gentlemen.”

Both men backpedal to their corners without breaking their grip on each other’s eyes. Ejiro flexes out his neck while Wildchild presses his back against the turnbuckle as finally...

DING!

“This match is underway!”

Slowly stepping up to each other once more, there is no stare down as Ejiro quickly reaches forward and grabs a hold of Wildchild’s neck with a standing headlock. Grinding away on the head for just a moment, Fasaki is unable to hold on as Wildchild pushes the World Champion into the ropes with a mighty shove. Both men meet in the center of the ring with a hard shoulder block, but neither is willing to leave their feet at this early juncture of the match of their lives. Quickly flexing his arm for a moment, Fasaki heads into the ropes again and charges at a ready and waiting Bahama Bomber. Leaping over the charging champion easily with the leapfrog, Wildchild turns slightly and extends an arm before sending Ejiro flying into the air with a high and tight hip toss. Awaiting the World Champion’s return to his feet, Wildchild easily and gracefully takes to the air and drives both feet into the chest of “The Emperor” with a perfectly executed dropkick that sends Ejiro rolling down to the mat and all the way to the outside of the ring. Rocking up on the balls of his feet, Wildchild hits the ropes in order to gain the momentum needed to propel himself to the outside of the ring and onto Fasaki. But the wily World Champion deftly steps aside before Wildchild is anywhere near making the leap to the outside. Wildchild, seeing this, stops his run and retreats to a corner away from the ropes as Ejiro gathers himself on the arena floor.

“I think this is what we all expected out of these two,” says Axis, “Wildchild immediately attempts to pick up the pace and go to the air as Ejiro attempts to keep him controlled and on the canvas. It has the pattern these two have been following during their whole feud. I have to wonder if the person who adds the new wrinkle to their game tonight will be the one to come out of this match the winner.”

“Considering the history of success he’s had against Wildchild, I would say Ejiro is pretty set in his ways,” adds The Gambling Man, “It’s whether or not Wildchild can counter Fasaki’s ground game that is the real question.”

Stepping back into the ring, Fasaki slowly paces back and forth as Wildchild waits with his hands on his knees, ready for whatever the Magnificent Seven member might dish out next. Both men circle each other like sharks smelling blood as they jockey for some sort of advantage. Eventually both men chose to go for a collar-and-elbow tie up in the center of the ring and pit their strength against each other like two mighty elks. Surprisingly enough it is Wildchild who breaks the stalemate with a sharp upturned knee to the chest that sends Ejiro down to one knee for just a moment as Wildchild steps to one side of his opponent. And as the World Champion works up to his feet, he is met with a snapping kick to the back of his calf. Another kick cuts into the back of Ejiro’s knee and sends the Emperor down to one knee once more. Quickly hitting the ropes once more, Wildchild looks to blast Ejiro across the brow with a running elbow. But the Champion ducks low as Wildchild’s elbow goes flying overhead. Pivoting back towards Wildchild, Ejiro lowers his center of gravity and sends Wildchild flying into the air with a tremendous backdrop. Hitting the ropes for a bit of momentum, Ejiro hops into the air in an attempt to drop a knee into Wildchild’s face. But the quick as a cat wrestler easily rolls to one side as Ejiro cracks his own knee into the canvas. Hobbled from the collision, Fasaki staggers once more as Wildchild goes into the ropes and obliterates Ejiro with that devastating running elbow to face! Dropping down, Wildchild hooks the leg as Kivell counts away...

ONE!

TWO!

THREENNNNNNAAAAHHNOOOOOOOOO!

Axis calls, “Near fall early on from Wildchild! You can really tell that elbow caught Ejiro off guard for a moment. There is no way, as much as I hate his guts, that Ejiro was worn out enough for that close of a count this early in the contest.”

The Suicide King adds, “But it’s still a good idea to go for those early falls. First off you might get lucky and get the three. Secondly, it puts the pressure on your opponent and makes them think instead of react. Thinking in the ring too much leads to losses. In those split seconds where you’re considering what the other guy is doing while he’s making the cover you need to be kicking away immediately.”

Ejiro desperately attempts to shake loose the webs that are clouding his senses as Wildchild kicks his downed opponent in the head with a bare foot. Another foot sends Fasaki flat to the canvas before Wildchild takes Ejiro by the arm and pulls him off the mat. Using the arm like a sling, Wildchild propels The Emperor into the ropes and meets him on the rebound with a hard reverse elbow to the head. Quickly turning on his heels Wildchild flies backward into the air before landing across Fasaki’s head with a moonsault press. Looking out to the people for just a moment, Wildchild decides to forgo the cover and instead motions that he is going to make that climb to the part of the ring he calls home. Climbing all the way up top, Wildchild draws a bead on the rising World Champion and takes to the air for a stunning missile dropkick!

“That misses!” calls out Axis as Fasaki steps to one side and allows Wildchild’s body to go flying past before colliding with the canvas. “Wildchild took his first big chance of this contest and Ejiro managed to make him pay for it.”

“Well ‘Clown boy’ is bound to make some errors in his matches,” answers The Suicide King, “That’s why they call his style high risk. If those sorts of moves worked all the time, it would have to be renamed something else entirely. And who wants to go through all that hassle?”

With his first big advantage in this contest, Ejiro Fasaki goes about the business of taking Wildchild apart as much as possible while he can. Taking the stunned Wild One off the mat, Ejiro quickly pulls Wildchild’s arm behind his back and sends the Bahama Bomber right into the turnbuckle, shoulder-first. Staggering away from the corner and holding onto the shoulder, Wildchild winces in pain as Fasaki tries to take a firmer lead of this contest. Taking the wounded shoulder and twisting it around with a wristlock, Ejiro Irish whips Wildchild across the ring and into the opposite turnbuckle. Charging forward, Ejiro attempts to drive Wildchild back into the corner with a clothesline but Wildchild is not so out of it that he would stay still and take such a clumsy attack. Ducking his healthy shoulder low, Wildchild lifts Fasaki all the way up and over the top rope to the arena floor! Once again hitting the floor in a heap, Fasaki lies on the cold concrete as Wildchild gets momentum once more from hitting the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. Taking to the air once again, this time, Wildchild’s risk pays off as he crushes a rising Ejiro under his weight with a devastating corkscrew attack to the outside!

Axis calls out as the fans erupt, “What a move! You talked about it earlier King, Wildchild needs to keep taking chances like that one if he is going to take the World Title away from Ejiro Fasaki.”

“Fasaki really needs to get himself a breather now Axis, but Wildchild is not going to allow him that kind of luxury,” remarks The Gambling Man.

Taking Ejiro off the arena floor, Wildchild dips low and picks his smaller opponent up on his shoulder before allowing his chest to drop on the ringside barrier. Popping off the guardrail, Ejiro staggers backwards as Wildchild leaps onto the barricade and springs off, landing on Ejiro’s shoulders and arching backwards, pulling the Champion overhead with a flying head scissors that sends him flying into the barricade. Ejiro stumbles against the ring apron as Wildchild continues to stalk his prey like a panther. Charging forward for a moment, Wildchild lowers his shoulder and tackles Fasaki right into the barricade, driving the champion’s back against protective barrier with thundering authority. Grabbing Ejiro by the hair, Wildchild easily drags The Emperor back towards the ring and tosses him in, following under the bottom rope. Pulling his injured body along, Ejiro is not about to get away from Wildchild in his present condition. The challenger instead pulls Fasaki up and pushes him against the ropes before slamming his fist directly into Ejiro’s forehead. Taking Ejiro and slinging him into the ropes, Wildchild ducks low before sending Fasaki flying high overhead with a backdrop of his own.

Slapping his forearm in order to signal to the fans as to what is on its way, Wildchild stands near the ropes and waits on Fasaki as the deadly champion tries to keep his body from being on the canvas too long. Hitting the ropes once more, Wildchild gets all the momentum he needs before taking to the air for the flying forearm. But at the last possible moment, Ejiro drops strait back to the canvas as Wildchild goes flying towards the ropes. Flying overhead, the Bahama Bomber slams his own body into the ropes! Struggling for just a moment like a fly in a web, Wildchild unfortunately tumbles in between the top and middle ropes and is caught around the throat in a hangman’s noose! Quickly fighting with all of his might, Wildchild desperately attempts to free his head and neck from the trap as the ropes tightly constricts the flow of air to his lungs. Realizing Wildchild’s predicament immediately, referee Matthew Kivell attempts to pull the ropes far enough apart that the man from the Bahamas can pull his head free. But there is another man in the ring who is not as understanding.

“Ejiro is not going to allow Wildchild the chance to escape!” says Axis; “He is going to take as much advantage of this chance as he can.”

Coming up alongside Wildchild, The Emperor reels back and slams into the side of Wildchild’s head with a hard elbow smash. Firing away again and again into the Wildchild’s face as hard as he can with his vaunted elbow, Fasaki smiles brightly just before turning on a dime and blasting Wildchild across the brow with the dreaded screaming elbow. Finally having enough of Fasaki’s illegal attacks, Kivell physically backs him against the far ropes and threatens the World Champion with an immediate disqualification if he should attack once more. Returning to Wildchild, Kivell finally parts the ropes wide enough for Wildchild to get his head free. Dropping to the mat without a trace of air and little drops of blood dripping from the back of his ears, Wildchild can hardly stand as Fasaki returns to the attack. Pulling Wildchild up and on to his shoulders, Fasaki walks toward the center of the ring before pulling Wildchild’s head down and between his knees before crushing the Bahama Bomber with a crushing tombstone piledriver!

“WHAT A MOVE!” exclaims The Suicide King as Wildchild’s head bounces off the canvas with a sickening thud before crumpling to the canvas, “Great planning for Ejiro there, he saw that Wildchild was hurt and decided to take a swing for the fences that paid off big time.”

“COVER!” chimes in Axis as Ejiro lies down across Wildchild and motions for Kivell to make the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREEENNNNNNAHHHHHHHHHHHNOOOOOOO!

Wildchild just barely gets a shoulder out in time to beat the count. Holding his head in disbelief, Ejiro seems unsure as to what he should do next. Finally making that choice, Ejiro grabs Wildchild by the arm and pulls his challenger into a seated position before wrapping his legs tightly around Wildchild’s head and falling back towards the canvas with a leg scissors. Pushing up with his arms, Ejiro exerts the maximum amount of pressure that he can as the wounded Wildchild desperately tries to hold onto that little thread of consciousness. Squeezing away like an anaconda, Fasaki continues to put the squeeze on his downed opponent as Kivell continues to check in to see if the challenger wishes to submit or if he has lost consciousness. Seeing that none of these things is happening Kivell continues to look on as Fasaki continues to punish Wildchild’s neck and head with this hold.

Axis calls out, “You can tell what Fasaki is trying to do here, King. This is the same strategy that Ejiro and Hydra used against Wildchild in that tag match two weeks ago. By putting pressure on Wildchild’s head, Fasaki is hoping that this disrupts Wildchild’s balance enough that he will be unable to utilize that high-risk offense. Of course, we both know how that match turned out.”

“Of course, this time, Wildchild does not have anyone to tag out to either,” interjects The King of Hearts “This time, he is going to have to fight up under the pressure all by his lonesome and not have an opportunity to rest on the apron.”

Slowly struggling against the hold, Wildchild painfully manages to turn himself and Ejiro over to their stomachs and slowly pull his head loose from Fasaki’s grip. Finally free of the vice, Wildchild struggles to pull himself away from his opponent and attempts to get some air into his lungs and shake loose the cobwebs from that piledriver. And as Ejiro pulls himself off the mat, he is rather surprised that Wildchild didn’t go for some sort of leglock while he had the chance. Perhaps he had Wildchild at more of a disadvantage than he originally thought? Running against the ropes, Ejiro charges back at the seated and wounded Wildchild and drives a hard boot across the side of the head. Then pulling Wildchild off the canvas, Ejiro sends his foe into the ropes and meets him on the rebound with a button precise dropkick to the head.

“And that is the difference between Ejiro and Wildchild right there,” remarks The Suicide King with a smile, “When Ejiro does go off the mat, it is with measured precision and calculation. Wildchild just throws his body into the air and hopes it makes contact.”

“But when he does make contact, Wildchild’s moves sure make a whole lot more difference than a simple dropkick will,” counters Axis. “I have to wonder if Ejiro is making a mistake not going with a little more impact instead of grinding away at the point of injury like he is doing.”

Laughing mightily at his achievements, Fasaki continues to stay on Wildchild with a hard punch to the top of the seated warrior’s head. Pulling the Bahama Bomber off the canvas, Fasaki casually flips Wildchild over with a snap mare in order to get him in perfect position for a flipping neck snapper. Casually hopping to his feet, Fasaki bounces off the ropes for a moment before coming back and dropping a hard knee across his foe’s face with authority. Chuckling as he gets to his feet, The Emperor admires his work for a moment as he allows Wildchild the opportunity to get up to his feet. Almost strutting up to his opponent, Ejiro places a boot into Wildchild’s stomach in order to double him over and puts on a front facelock. Slowly turning around for a reverse neckbreaker, Fasaki takes a moment too long savoring his advantage before Wildchild instantaneously continues the turn and immediately lifts Ejiro into the air into position for a vertical suplex. Quickly spinning on the way down, Wildchild drives Fasaki strait into the canvas with the corkscrew suplex! Holding his own head in pain, Wildchild still manages to get to his feet just as a stunned Fasaki does the same. But it is Ejiro who makes the first move as he charges forward with a clothesline attempt. But Wildchild ducks low and underneath the charge before rising back up and catching Fasaki right underneath the chin with a thrust kick! Ejiro goes flying to the canvas as Wildchild also stumbles before falling down against the middle rope and tries to get his wits about him.

“What a move there by Wildchild to catch a breather before Fasaki is able to recoup and take back the momentum,” says Axis.

“I have to give it to Wildchild,” The King admits, “This kid has no quit in him. Regardless of what I think about his philosophy as far as getting things down in the ring, I have to give him that.”

Staggering back up to his feet, Ejiro Fasaki looks about the ring, trying to get a bead on the whereabouts of his opponent. Finally Ejiro turns just in time to see Wildchild charging forward at the World Champion. Leaping almost in instinct, Ejiro watches as Wildchild goes underneath him. But turning back around, Fasaki can do nothing as Wildchild plows through him and knocks him down to the canvas with a high cross body block. Reaching back and holding a leg, Wildchild tries to pick up the win as Kivell counts along with the fans...

ONE!

TWO!

THRNOOOOOOOOOO!

The Emperor kicks loose from Wildchild’s cradle in plenty of time to get out of the pinning predicament. Quickly popping back up to his feet, Wildchild collects the World Champion and sends him into the ropes for his patented flying elbow strike. Clapping his hands in order to get the crowd jacked up once again, Wildchild again hits the ropes before crushing Ejiro across the face with a magnificent flying forearm to the head. Getting right back to his feet once more, Wildchild looks out to the crowd with a glare as they respond to his offense with great satisfaction and enthusiasm. Immediately grabbing Ejiro by the wrist, Wildchild winds him up and drags him over to the ropes. Walking up the turnbuckle, Wildchild looks out into the sea of humanity before pulling Ejiro around the ring with the praying ropewalk! Around the ring they go as Wildchild balances perfectly on the top rope... until that no longer happens!

“Wildchild slipped on the top rope and groined himself!” remarks Axis as the people in the arena share a collective whimper in sympathy, “And the really scary thing about it is that Ejiro didn’t really do anything to cause Wildchild to lose his balance.”

“Oh didn’t he? Wildchild’s balance is all messed up thanks to all that punishment and especially thanks to that tombstone piledriver. Now, Fasaki is going to make this situation even worse for Wildchild.”

Saddling up to the side of the groined challenger, Ejiro lifts Wildchild high and away from the ropes before falling strait backward with a stunning belly-to-back suplex that again rocks Wildchild’s head against the canvas. Holding onto the back of his head as Ejiro rises to his feet Wildchild attempts to get his marbles back in order. Ejiro Fasaki stumbles for a moment before hauling Wildchild up and pushes him back into a corner. Taking Wildchild by the braids, Ejiro pulls his head forward as he jams his elbow into the face of his challenger. Jamming the elbow into Wildchild’s skull again and again, Fasaki continues to go to work until Matthew Kivell steps in at the count of five to enforce the five count. Stepping into the corner once again with a fresh count, Ejiro swings his leg into Wildchild’s head and chest again as again until once more, Kivell breaks up the attack in the corner and, this time, warns Fasaki that he may disqualify him if this behavior continues. So instead of just mauling away, Fasaki instead runs into the ropes for momentum and goes to the air to deliver the knee strike in the corner. But Wildchild is not about to just stand there and take that sort of blow and he rolls out of the corner just as Ejiro’s knee crashes into the top turnbuckle! Hobbling on the knee for a moment, Ejiro cannot defend himself as Wildchild presses him back into the corner...

“BAM! BAM! BAM!” calls out Axis with enthusiasm as Wildchild turns the tables on Ejiro and starts to throw elbow after elbow strait into the World Champion’s face.

Rocking and reeling, Ejiro slumps down in the corner to the point where he falls down on his seat as Wildchild just continues to drive elbows into Fasaki’s face as the referee finally pulls the Bahama Bomber out of the corner.

“Sweet sassy molassy!” remarks Axis, “Wildchild has gone crazy with elbows! I wonder how long he has been waiting to pummel Fasaki just like that!”

The Caribbean crusher stands facing the corner with his hands on his knees, breathing heavily through bared teeth, a crazed look in his eyes. He lunges into the corner, grabbing Ejiro by the arm and pulling him out forcefully, whipping him into the far corner. Ejiro crashes back-first into the corner with stunning impact! He steps out of the corner slowly, clutching the small of his back, when Wildchild reaches out and grabs him by the arm, whipping him into the opposite corner for a second time! Ejiro staggers back out into the waiting arms of Wildchild, who whips him yet again back into the opposite corner…

WHAM!

The beleaguered champion bounces out of the corner a third time as Wildchild runs to the ropes behind him and flies through the air, snaring Ejiro’s head with a side headlock from behind, and driving him face first into the mat with a face-jarring bulldog! “Cover him,” squeals Axis, as the tropical tumbler rolls Ejiro onto his back, lying heavily on top of him…

ONE!

TWO!

THRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE—NO! The pertinacious champion refuses to stay down, shooting his shoulder off the mat at the last possible moment! Wildchild slowly gets to his feet, as Ejiro remains lying on the mat, seemingly out of it. The challenger points to the corner and the crowd becomes electric as he runs over to it, leaping into the air and landing on the top turnbuckle, but the lingering effects of Ejiro’s previous attacks resurface, as Wildchild’s impaired balance causes him to stumble momentarily on his perch, giving Ejiro just enough time to suddenly roll onto his knees and pop up off the mat, lunging towards the corner and knocking Wildchild’s feet out from under him, crotching him on the top turnbuckle.

“Hah,” crows the King, “he was playing possum! He had Wildchild right where he wanted him the whole time!” Fasaki climbs up the turnbuckles behind Wildchild, wrapping one arm around the challenger’s waist and the other underneath his leg, scooping him off the top turnbuckle for a belly-to-back superplex!

CRASH!

But Wildchild rotates his body into Ejiro as they fall, crushing the champion’s body between his and the canvas!

“What a SENSATIONAL counter by the Wildchild,” screams Axis, “And he could have him here!”

ONE!

TWO!

THRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEENO!

The two weary combatants struggle to their feet, exchanging punches as they do so. Wildchild begins to get the better of the fisticuffs, but the champion neutralizes him momentum with an eye poke.

“Ejiro’s always thinking ahead,” remarks the King. “He just stopped Wildchild cold with a good old Greco-Roman thumb to the eye!”

Fasaki whips the challenger into the ropes, but Wildchild dives forward, planting his hands on the canvas as his legs fly overhead, bouncing off the ropes and back towards the center of the ring, leaping backwards the second his feet touch the mat and striking Fasaki in the face with a scintillating handspring elbow! Wildchild rolls atop Ejiro for another pin fall attempt:

ONE!

TWO

THRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE—NO!

“He kicked out,” screams the King. “Wildchild’s thrown everything but the kitchen sink at Fasaki, but he can’t keep his shoulders down!”

The Bahama bomber lifts Ejiro to his feet, but the champion stuns him with a knee lift into the midsection! Ejiro hammers Wildchild in the side of the head with clenched fists, seeking to further impair his opponent’s balance before whipping him towards the ropes. But the challenger reverses, stumbling and nearly tripping over his feet dealing with a sudden sense of vertigo. Fasaki hits the ropes, as Wildchild finally finds his bearings and drops to the mat as Ejiro rebounds, trapping the champion’s ankle between his feet and dropping him neck first against the bottom rope with a drop toehold!

“Drop toe hold sends the champion into the ropes,” reports Axis. “And now he’s going for the Chicklet Buster!”

Wildchild dives between the bottom and middle ropes, swinging his legs around and out of the ring, blasting the champion full in the face! But Wildchild again is unable to fight the battle with his equilibrium and loses his balance, slipping off the ropes just as he makes contact with Ejiro, bouncing headfirst on the ring apron and down onto the protective mats on the concrete floor below.

“Wildchild lost his balance,” says Axis. “The champion caught a big break on that one!”

“What the hell are you talking about,” retorts the King. “It wasn’t a coincidence that ‘Clown-boy’ there lost his balance. It wasn’t luck; it was the product of a brilliantly thought out and perfectly executed game plan! Ejiro knew that the only way to beat Wildchild is to ground him, and the best way to ground him is to affect his balance.” Suicide King’s countenance suddenly took on a vehement tone. “You know what Axis? I’m tired of you not giving guys like Ejiro credit! Fasaki is a thinking man’s wrestler; he went into this match with a game plan, and so far he’s executed that game plan flawlessly! Unlike Wildchild, whose only plan in this match was to react to whatever the champ did and to throw himself around like a rubber ball! And look where that’s gotten him! Lying on the ground half-conscious. How DARE you insult Ejiro by calling that luck!”

“Look,” says Axis as Ejiro manages to roll himself out of the ring, “I give all the credit in the world to Ejiro for being one of the finest ring tacticians in the business today. All I’m saying is that against an opponent like Wildchild, who has been such a persistent and difficult challenger to him, sometimes even the best laid plans don’t yield success.” Axis continues as Ejiro stomps brutally at the side of Wildchild’s head outside the ring. “And against someone like Wildchild, who creates so many stylistic problems for him, sometimes even an athlete of Ejiro’s admittedly impressive wrestling acumen needs a little luck in order for everything to fall in place exactly as they might hope for.”

Fasaki pulls Wildchild off the floor and tosses him into the ring, crawling in after him. He grabs the tropical tumbler by his braids and again pulls him to his feet, stopping him while in a bent over position to batter the side of his head, particularly around his ear with a ferocious flurry of punches.

“You’ll do anything to not have to give someone like Fasaki their due,” replies the King. “Luck is the byproduct of hard work and preparation. Ejiro has put hours, DAYS, into studying Wildchild’s strengths and weaknesses. I can’t believe you can sit here so fat, dumb and happy, looking at a single speck on a mosaic and thinking that’s the whole thing!”

Lifting Wildchild’s head to eye level, Ejiro scowls at him with a sour expression on his face, and suddenly swings around, blasting Wildchild in the face with his dreaded Screaming Elbow! Wildchild falls to the canvas as if in slow motion, and Ejiro falls wearily atop him…

ONE!

TWO

THRRRRRREEEEEEEENO!

Wildchild seemingly reaches all the way back to Morgan’s Bluff to find the strength to kick out! Ejiro slowly stands up and pulls Wildchild to his feet as well, pushing him back against the ropes and whipping him to the far side, catching him as he rebounds with a sleeper hold! Actually using his shorter stature to his advantage, the champion wraps his arm around Wildchild’s throat, trying frantically to squeeze the life out of him.

“If you could refrain from stroking Ejiro for maybe two minutes,” snaps Axis, “you’d probably realize that my comments aren’t a criticism of Fasaki so much as a testament to Wildchild’s tenacity. Look King, I realize that you don’t like him, and I’m not going to try and change your mind, but damn it, he’s beaten some of the best in the SJL, and beaten them in spectacular fashion! These two have gone against each other several times, and while Ejiro has had the edge in terms of wins and losses, Wildchild has pushed him to his limits in each and every match, so excuse the hell out of me if I have a little bit of difficulty believing that Ejiro has all of a sudden come across the secret key to ultimate victory!”

Wildchild slumps forward, beginning to succumb to the effects of the sleeper hold.

“Well, if you actually knew anything about wrestlers,” retorts the King, “then you’d know that the good ones adapt. It doesn’t really matter that none of the tactics previously employed by Ejiro have had this much success; what matters is that Ejiro, as a true champion should, continued to refine his craft, continued to adapt his style, continued to pursue a way to neutralize the strengths of the one person in the SJL who I’ll admit has been his most difficult opponent.”

LET’S GO WILDCHILD! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

“Well, be that as it may,” says Axis, ignoring the merits of the King’s argument, “there are seventeen thousand plus in the Compaq center in Houston, rallying behind the Bahama Bomber!” The referee holds Wildchild’s arm in the air, releasing it as it drops inertly to his side.

LET’S GO WILDCHILD! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

“It doesn’t matter how much the fans are behind him,” crows the King as Wildchild’s arm drops a second time, “because they can’t save him! I love it; one more drop of that arm, and Ejiro will have proven once and for all that he IS better than Wildchild!”

The referee raises Wildchild’s hand into the air for a final time, releasing it to allow it to either stand or drop. Wildchild’s arm begins to slowly slump down towards his side…

And…

Stands fast in mid-drop!

The capacity crowd in the Compaq Center explodes in a cacophony of cheers, imploring the Caribbean Cruiser to fight back. Wildchild shakes his arms violently in a desperate attempt to regain circulation, suddenly thrusting his elbow into Fasaki’s midsection, lifting him savagely off the canvas. A second piercing elbow smash causes the champion to again rise off the mat, his landing creating enough separation between him and Wildchild for the acrobatic star to shift slightly to his side and swing his arm around Ejiro’s waist, lifting him off the mat and backwards through the air, dropping him violently onto mat with a belly-to-back suplex! Both men lay motionless on the mat as the referee begins a ten-count:

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

At the count of five, both men begin to stir. Fasaki rolls towards the ropes, using them to pull himself up as Wildchild struggles to get to his knees. Ejiro is the first to his feet, half-supporting his weight on the ropes as he screams obscenities at Wildchild, daring him to stand back up again. Fasaki suddenly charges at the Bahama Bomber with a lariat attempt, but he ducks underneath, and leaps into the air as Ejiro rebounds, planting his feet into the champion’s midsection and locking his arms around his head and arching back, launching Ejiro overhead and out of the ring with his patented air throw!

“Freefall,” cries Axis as the rabid fans in the Compaq Center break into loud “Holy Shit” chants. “He just sent the champion into Freefall! And I think that Ejiro may have bumped is back on the ring apron as he went out!” Ejiro is indeed clutching his back as he struggles to get to his feet, while Wildchild is back on his feet inside the ring, measuring his opponent as he braces himself to slingshot outside the ring.

SPLASH!

Wildchild grabs onto the top rope and slingshots himself out of the ring, prompting Ejiro to move to one side in an attempt to avoid what he believes to be a plancha, but Wildchild instead simply leaps over the top rope to land on the middle on the outside of the ring with his back facing the ramp, where he immediately springs off, flipping backwards through the air and twisting slightly, landing on Ejiro in something resembling a cross-body press!

“Wildchild with a SENSATIONAL Asai moonsault,” hollers Axis, “but I think he may have over-rotated! The effects of Ejiro’s attacks on his balance still very much evident, as Wildchild seems to continue to lack the degree of body control that we’re used to seeing from him.”

“Now after looking at that, I challenge you to continue to deny that Ejiro’s game plan hasn’t been successful! As much as that attack hurt him, it’s was almost worth it when you consider that Wildchild can’t control what he’s doing out there, and it was only dumb luck that he even actually hit Fasaki! Besides, Wildchild can’t win the title outside the ring; if he’s not confident with executing his high risk moves, or if he can’t control himself, then his chances of winning this match just dropped to slim and none!”

Wildchild drags Ejiro over to the ring, rolling him inside as he climbs onto the apron, waiting with apprehension for the champion to rise to his feet. As Fasaki begins to stand up, the Bahama Bomber, leaps onto the top rope, and springs into the ring, mashing Ejiro’s face with his feet as he delivers a springboard missile dropkick!

“Missile dropkick,” cries Axis as Wildchild rolls on top of Ejiro, “but you can tell he has very little confidence in his balance right now. A healthy Wildchild would have added a Shooting Star motion with that!”

The referee slides into position to count the shoulders…

ONE!

TWO!

THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—NO! The Emperor will not relinquish his championship easily, as he digs deep to kick out from Wildchild’s devastating attack. Wildchild looks up wearily at the referee sweat having almost completely removed his face paint, an exasperated expression on his face. He turns Ejiro onto his stomach and wraps his arms around the champion’s waist, pulling him up off the canvas.

“He’s going for a German suplex,” says Axis. “If he hits this, we could have a new champion!”

Fasaki struggles frantically in an attempt to free himself from the waistlock, and finally thrusts his elbow back behind him…

CRACK!

Wildchild’s neck snaps back sharply as Fasaki drills him right between the eyes with a sharp elbow smash.

CRACK!

A second elbow finds Wildchild’s ear, forcing him to release the waistlock, and giving the champion the opening to slip to one side, surprising his opponent by suddenly leaping off the canvas and bringing his legs sharply into the air, dropping Wildchild to his knees with a stunning back brain kick. Ejiro bounces back onto his feet and reaches forward, wrapping his arms around Wildchild’s waist and pulling him backwards off the mat, dropping him on his back and bridging for a German suplex pin!

ONE!

TWO!

THRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO!

Wildchild rolls his left shoulder off the mat with less than a tenth of a second to spare. Ejiro picks his foe up and shoves him into the corner; repeatedly driving knees into his midsection and stepping backwards a few yards before rushing the corner and driving a running knee lift into Wildchild’s solar plexus.

“He drove that right into the challenger’s heart,” says Axis.

The Emperor pulls Wildchild out of the corner and whips him towards the far ropes, but the tropical tumbler reverses the whip and catches Fasaki as he leaps into the air and turns his body into Wildchild, countering a possible victory roll with a breathtaking wheelbarrow suplex!

“TREMENDOUS counter,” shrieks Axis. “This could do it!”

ONE!

TWO!

THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO!

Ejiro just gets the shoulder up, but appears unable to do much else. Wildchild rolls onto his feet and darts over to the corner, leaping onto the top turnbuckle, but needing a second to steady himself. He jumps backwards off the turnbuckle into the ring, twisting as flies through the air until he faces the inside of the ring, and pumping his body in a jackknife motion as he falls onto the champion with a twisting frog splash! Wildchild bounces off his target and lay nearby, clutching both his midsection and the side of his head.

“It’s over,” hollers Axis. “Just roll over kid, and you’re the champion!”

“No way he beats Ejiro with this,” whines the King, as Wildchild rolls over on top of the champion. “It can’t happen this way!”

ONE!

TWO!

THRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—

“NO! Ejiro won’t go down while he still draws breath,” sighs a relieved Suicide King. “And once again his game plan from earlier in the match came through to save the title for him; ‘Clown-boy’ was so disoriented from his frog splash, that he couldn’t immediately make the cover!”

Wildchild slowly gets to his feet, pulling Ejiro up along with him. He pushes the champion against the ropes, tattooing him with a series of vicious knife-edge chops, before whipping him towards the far ropes. Ejiro again leaps into Wildchild, scissoring his legs around the challenger’s waist, and the tropical tumbler lifts Fasaki into the air, but this time the champion kicks his legs forward wildly. The sudden shift in weight proves to be too much for Wildchild’s impaired equilibrium, and he starts to stumble forward, enabling the Emperor to drive him face-first into the canvas with a bulldog headlock!

“MAGNIFICENT counter by the champion,” crows the King triumphantly. “Fasaki has been a step ahead of Wildchild this entire match… and look! He’s going for the Crossface,” as Ejiro grapevines Wildchild’s arm and reaches forward to secure the cobra clutch. “Cobra Crossface! It’s all over!”

”The Emperor” wrenches back with all the force he can muster, causing excruciating pain to shoot throughout the challenger’s spinal column. “It’s time for me to end this little game,” he growls into Wildchild’s ear loud enough for the camera crew to pick. “I’m through with you as of now! You’ve never been at my level, and you never will be! I am your lord and master in this ring, and I don’t have any more time to waste on you! You’ve stood in my way for the last time!”

Pulling back once more with as much force as he can muster, Ejiro attempts to once and for all force Wildchild to admit just who is the winner in this long and bloody feud. But Wildchild is not about to just tap out no matter what the cost. But Ejiro has the cobra crossface cinched in like a human python and screams out to his opponent, “TAP! TAAAAAAP!” But still Wildchild refuses to call it quits, regardless of the pain and mounting pressure to fall unconscious. It’s now or never for the Bahama Bomber and using the only free part of his anatomy that he has, his legs, Wildchild begins to push up and against Fasaki’s grip. But Ejiro presses his legs down across the mat as well and refuses to allow Wildchild to simply push them both into the ropes. But Ejiro cannot do that and apply as much pressure as he would like to the hold itself, so at least Wildchild has allowed himself an opportunity to think up something else. And so he does, quickly up on the balls of his feet, Wildchild begins to walk both Ejiro and himself to one side and closer to the ropes. Reaching out with his legs, Wildchild finally manages to hook the bottom rope with his ankle and forces “The Emperor” to release the hold. Or at least that is what the champion should be doing.

“Come on Ejiro! Release the hold!” calls out Matthew Kivell over the sound of the arena as he tries to get Fasaki to break cleanly. But the World Champion has no interest in the referee’s orders at the moment. Frustrated and angry, the referee begins his five count towards disqualification…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIV… EJIRO BREAKS JUST IN TIME!

“Whew,” sighs Axis, “I thought Fasaki was never going to let Wildchild loose from that crossface, King, and that we might have a disqualification that absolutely no one wants to see.”

The Gambling Man answers, “Come on, Axis, The World Champion is way too smart to just let himself get disqualified. He truly wants to beat Wildchild one more time before this feud ends. And he cannot do that if he gets himself disqualified. He was just utilizing the crossface as well as he could before he was forced to break.”

And Wildchild felt every extra second in that hold as he struggles to get some sort of chance to recover as both his shoulder and head continue to ache from the punishment of the cobra crossface. But an angry Fasaki is not about to give him any more opportunities to come back from the brink. Quickly pulling Wildchild’s head in between his legs, Ejiro pulls the number one contender vertical into space before driving him strait into the canvas with a deadly piledriver that causes Wildchild to bounce a foot into the air after impact! But Fasaki is not pleased enough with that, so he once again pulls Wildchild off the canvas and once again spikes him into the canvas with another piledriver! Flopping to the canvas like a fish out of water, Wildchild holds onto his neck as though a guillotine just hadn’t managed to go all the way through and was caught half way through. But Fasaki is still not satisfied as he once again collects Wildchild and places his head between the World Champion’s legs once more.

“Oh sweet Jesus,” cries Axis, “He’s trying to cripple Wildchild! Ejiro has this match won and he’s going for permanent injury instead.”

“Well… those are the breaks!” laughs The Suicide King as Fasaki pulls Wildchild vertical to the canvas once more.

Holding Wildchild in the air longer this time, Fasaki steps around in a circle in order to display his prize to the entire audience of people that are horrified at what might happen to their wrestler of choice in this contest. Looking from side to side with a smirk, Ejiro jumps into the air once more before crushing Wildchild against the canvas with one, final piledriver. And this time, Wildchild does not clutch his head and neck in pain. His body does not flail wildly on the canvas. He simply hits the canvas and ceases to move. Still on his seat from the final piledriver, Ejiro looks out to the people and laughs a sick little laugh as he ever so slowly pushes Wildchild over onto his stomach and lays across his body for the inevitable…

ONE!

TWO!

THREOHHHHHHHHHHHHHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

“HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT!” orgasms Axis like Jim Ross on crack, “I cannot believe it! Wildchild got out at a count of two! What a display of guts and determination!”

“… It … It… It doesn’t matter! He’s not coming back and Fasaki is going to make sure of it right now!”

Slapping the mat as though the world had just come to an end and it turns out that God actually hates him, Fasaki holds onto his hair and screams in horror. What does he have to do in order to put Wildchild away this time? What can he use that will keep the Bahama Bomber down for one last time? Finally a solution is reached as he pulls a still rather limp Wildchild off the mat and hauls him up to his shoulder once more.

“He’s going for the tombstone once again! This move worked so well for him earlier that he’s going to try and put Wildchild away with it!” says Axis.

Pulling Wildchild’s head down between his knees, Ejiro looks to end this thing one and for all. But Wildchild has other plans! Using the little strength he has left, Wildchild pulls his legs apart before slamming them across Fasaki’s head with as much force as he can muster. Staggered by the blow, Ejiro is knocked back a step with the force of the shot. So once more, Wildchild slams his legs around Fasaki’s head and causes the World Champion to begin to fall backward! With his feet on the mat once more, Wildchild uses his underrated strength to jerk Fasaki up into the air and reverse the tombstone position! Walking the helpless Fasaki to where he wants him, Wildchild hops into the air and spikes Ejiro into the canvas as hard as he can. The Emperor’s head crashes into the mat at an awkward angle as his spine contracts against the weight if his own body. But instead of going for the cover, the Bahama Bomber has some other plans. For with Fasaki in as much trouble as he is, Wildchild thinks to himself that it will not be enough. So the Wildchild quickly slaps himself across the head to clear the cobwebs and begins the long climb up to the top rope.

Axis remarks to the fans, “Wildchild’s making his move to the top! And he’s being very careful not to go up too quickly this time… It looks like he’s not going to be falling off the top until he wants to this time!”

“Come on Ejiro! MOVE!” shouts The Suicide King in the desperate chance that Ejiro can hear him and react at the same time. But The World Champion can and does neither of those things.

So, the deadly Wildchild centers himself on the top with his back to the ring as Fasaki barely shows a single sign of life on the canvas. And then without any further hesitation, Wildchild takes to air with his patented…

FALLING!

STAR!

PRESS!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

AND FASAKI GETS CRUSHED!

“It’s over!”

ONE!

“It’s over!”

TWO!

“IT’S OVER!”

THREEEEEEEEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOOFUCKINGWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

“I don’t believe it! What will it take for this match to end?” questions Axis as he wipes the sweat from his brow.

“And neither can Wildchild! He finally hits one of those big time moves he’s been trying to do all match long and Fasaki STILL manages to get a shoulder out! Face it Wildchild! You cannot pin that man!”

Perhaps realizing the same thing, Wildchild hammers the canvas with his hand for a moment or two in complete and total frustration. Staggering to his feet, the challenger almost falls into the ropes as he points at Fasaki’s unmoving carcass and yells out obscenities like they are going out of style. Kicking the ropes in a fit of rage, Wildchild looks back at Fasaki as though the World Champion had just done the impossible. Slowly that look of rage turns to an almost sadness as Wildchild struggles to come up with something that might put the World Champion away and prove that Wildchild has what it takes to defeat anyone in this business. Finally coming up with something, Wildchild claws the air for just a moment before drawing his hands into his body to tell the people that it is time to go for a Wild Ride! Pulling Fasaki off the canvas, Wildchild slaps on front facelock before reaching down to grab Ejiro’s leg in preparation for the Wild Ride 2003! Lifting Ejiro high in the air, Wildchild looks to end this thing right then and there. But Fasaki is not going like that! Kicking with his free leg as much as he can, Ejiro manages to escape the hold and slide down Wildchild’s back to escape! Quickly grabbing Wildchild from behind, Ejiro arches back and scores with a …

“BACKDROPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPA!” screams Axis in his trademark style.

“Fasaki is not going for the cover though! He’s going for the Tombstone once again!” calls The Suicide King. “He is going to pay Wildchild back the way he reversed the last one!”

Flipping Wildchild onto his shoulder for the third time in this match, Ejiro holds his most hated challenger high as The Emperor raises his arm high in impending victory. But that is never a good idea and Wildchild begins to kick himself loose from the piledriver and slides down Ejiro’s back just as Fasaki had done moments earlier. But he did not slide down alone! Because as Wildchild went over the top, he hooked Ejiro’s head on the way! And now Wildchild has Ejiro in a dragon sleeper!

“A submission move from Wildchild! A submission move from Wildchild?” asks Axis.

Indeed it is Axis! And Wildchild is not done yet! Holding onto the dragon sleeper, Wildchild places a foot into the back of Ejiro’s leg and forces him down to his knees! The Bahama Bomber quickly uses that move to his advantage and moves from the dragon sleeper to the even more deadly DRAGON CLUTCH! Ejiro screams out in pain as Wildchild continues to wrench away on the hold… pulling and tearing away at Fasaki’s head as the referee checks in… once… twice…

TAP! TAP! TAP!

“OH MY GOD! IT’S OVER! FASAKI TAPPED OUT! HE TAPPED OUT!!! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!”

DING! DING! DING!

Wildchild releases the hold and allows Fasaki to slump to the canvas as the fans in attendance let loose with the loudest cheer of the night! Leaping up into the air, Wildchild pumps his fist high as Funyon makes the official announcement…

“Ladies and Gentlemen…. The winner and NEWWWWWWWWWWW SJL Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD WILLLLLLLLLLDCHILLLLLLLLLLLD!”

Pyrotechnics blast into the air once more as balloons and confetti release from the rafters and showers the ring. And as Ejiro Fasaki rolls out of the ring and makes his way down the ramp way, Wildchild continues to celebrate in the ring as Kivell hands him his new title belt! Quickly coming down the aisle come Dace Night and Johnny Dangerous to congratulate their partner on this success. Meeting both of his friends with a hug, Wildchild looks out to the people as the other members of the Wild and Dangerous Nights lift his arms to the air in victory as the people continue to shower Wildchild with praise. Kivell quickly fetches the world title belt from the timekeeper, and hands it up and into the ring to Johnny Dangerous as the Wildchild continues to salute the fans for their support. Coming up from the side, Johnny and Dace place the World Title around the waist of the new Champion who has worked so hard to get to his point. With the title finally secured, Dace and Johnny duck low and hoist Wildchild up on their shoulder to show to the crowd their new champion as Axis and The Suicide King look on.

“What a moment this has to be for Wildchild, King. What a moment for everyone in this arena! As finally, WildChild proves just who the best man is and always has been.”

“BAH! He got lucky!”

“Not even you can diminish what Wildchild has accomplished here tonight, King. He came out and beat the man and now… he is the man! What a moment! What a night of action here tonight at Malice in Wonderland! You all at home just have to wonder what we’re going to do next here in SJL action! So, for The Suicide King… This is Axis signing off for The SJL! Goodnight everyone!”

January 27, 2003

Recap:

This is too good for you to just skim the results, boys. From Mall Brawl to the World Title match, this is a superb show. Set aside some time and just read it. Also, I hope everyone who lost posts their losing matches. Christian Blackwell, Omega Storm, and Spike Jenkins in particular came VERY close to winning their matches.

SJL Malice in Wonderland!

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