World's Worst Wrestling returns

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

We fade in on an executive meeting. A shadowy figure sits in front of many wrestlers.

 

"Laydeez and gentilmen.. I am Vince Roosoo.. and I will make you superstars"

 

Dean Malenko speaks up

 

"Um, in some countries, I am a superstar"

 

"Deeno.. you got to realize that the kids today.. they want violence.. they want porn.. they want ENTERTAINMENT"

 

Russo laughs

 

"Now, I will assign you your gimmicks. Live them"

 

Russo holds up a piece of paper

 

"Malenko, you see how the WWE, the company I saved, has a wrestler who's supposed to be raytardead.. well.. you will be a wrestler who is really smart, but used to be raytarded.. you will be called Algernon"

 

"Um.."

 

"IT'S GOLD BABY! Okay.. Sah-boo.. you got a new gimmick too.. You'll be 'The Beheader'.. you see.. you're an a-rab.. and you can tell the fans that you'll behead them"

 

"Um, i'm Indian"

 

"Sah-boo.. you don't talk, remember? It'll be gold!"

 

"Rick Flare! You got a new name... you'll be 'David Flair Classic'!"

 

"Ahmed Johnson, you're Bunny! Buff Bagwell, you're 'The Rookie'!, Matt Morgan, you're 'The Robot'!, Grenier, Christopher, you'll be 'La French Guys', people hate the French!"

 

Russo laughs

 

"Fans, we also have a stable of Zombie Wrestlers ready to enslave all of humanity! We got some titles to decide!"

 

The Zombies are on the prowl...

 

[WWW-TT Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Sexual Harris-ment defeated The Zombies (Zombie Iron Sheik and Zombie Maven) when R. Harris pinned Maven after the Bad Touch in 0:16:39.

Rating: -***

 

[WWW-TT Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Bunny and The Rookie defeated La French Guys when Bunny pinned S. Grenier with the Pearl River Plunge in 0:10:31.

Rating: *

 

La French Poodle (Sean O'Haire in a poodle costume) attempts to attack Bunny, but Cochese (Jamie Dundee) runs out of the crowd for the save

 

[WWW-TT Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

The Zombies (Zombie Shawn Stasiak and Zombie Prince Iaukea) defeated The Insane Clown Posse when Stasiak pinned Shaggy with the Meat Grinder in 0:22:32.

Rating: 3/4*

 

The Zombies attempt to recruit the Insane Clown Posse, but obviously the ICP doesn't have enough brains to satisfy them

 

Meanwhile, John Bradshaw Layfield tries to report the Illegal Immigrants.

 

[WWW-TT Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

The Illegal Immigrants defeated Animal and Johnny Grunge when Dandy pinned Grunge with the Dandina Cradle in 0:02:19.

Rating: 1/2*

 

Algernon proves himself to be too smart for the backstage interviewer.

 

[WWW-HW Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Algernon pinned David Flair Classic after a dropkick in 0:07:49.

Rating: ** 3/4

 

The Beheader practices his skills by placing a melon on a table, but the melon proves elusive for him and he breaks the table with his sword.

 

[WWW-HW Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Cochese pinned The Beheader with the Flying Lariat in 0:07:48.

Rating: ** 1/4

 

Backstage, we see JBL talking to the INS.

 

[WWW-HW Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Viscera pinned The Robot with the Big Splash in 0:11:02.

Rating: -*** 3/4

 

Kane has a special question for Lita. Lita isn't here. So yeah.

 

Kevin Nash drinks coffee and flips his hair.

 

[WWW-HW Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Kevin Nash pinned Kane with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:00:59.

Rating: -3/4*

 

MAKING HIS RETURN: The Abortionist

 

[WWW-TT Semi-Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Sexual Harris-ment defeated Bunny and The Rookie when R. Harris pinned Rookie after the Bad Touch in 0:11:37.

Rating: -* 1/4

 

After the match, Todd (Chuck Palumbo) attacks the Rookie, prompting Cochese and Bunny to come to the rescue, before Disorderly Conduct runs out to back Todd up.

 

[WWW-TT Semi-Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

The Illegal Immigrants defeated The Zombies (Zombie Shawn Stasiak and Zombie Prince Iaukea) when S. King pinned Iaukea after the Mexicant in 0:17:00.

Rating: * 3/4

 

Meanwhile, in the back, the INS is unable to catch the Illegal Immigrants

 

[WWW-HW Semi-Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Cochese pinned Algernon after a flying legdrop in 0:01:49.

Rating: * 3/4

 

COMING SOON: The Polygamist

 

[WWW-HW Semi-Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Kevin Nash pinned Viscera after a big boot in 0:10:29.

Rating: -*** 1/2

 

[WWW-TT Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match for the vacant WWW Tag Team titles:

The Illegal Immigrants defeated Sexual Harris-ment when S. King pinned R. Harris after a moonsault in 0:18:03.

Rating: -* 1/4

(The Illegal Immigrants won the WWW Tag Team titles.)

 

John Bradshaw Layfield runs out and lays out the Illegal Immigrants with chairshots. He drags them off into the sunset.

 

[WWW-HW Finals]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match for the vacant WWW Heavyweight title:

Kevin Nash pinned Cochese with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:09:52.

Rating: -1/2*

(Kevin Nash won the WWW Heavyweight title.)

 

The lights dim after the match and Triple H comes out with the Big Gold Belt. A staredown ensues.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Yes! The greatest fantasy booking RETURNS~

[Internet Warfare 0]

LOL you had me cracking up the entire time. I especially love the "David Flair Classic" bit in the begining.