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Patty O'Green

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 8/5/04

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EARLIER TODAY

 

COLE

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm standing alongside OAOAST agent Terry Taylor who'll read the results of the OAOAST Interactive poll.

 

TERRY

Thank you, Michael. And thank you to our great fans who made this a massive success. The votes have been counted. The team that'll receive the tag title shot against Black T will be... (opens envelope) Peter & Stewie Griffin.

 

Taylor sighs.

 

COLE

Obviously those aren't the real results.

 

TERRY

Thank you for pointing that out Sherlock Homles.

 

One of the production assistants hands Terry the real envelope...hopefully. A graphic with the results appears on screen as Terry announces the winners.

 

TERRY

The winners, receiving 900,000 votes: Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson -- The Global Party XChange!

 

The crowd pops HUGE.

 

OAOAST INTERACTIVE RESULTS

 

GPX -- 900,000

The Saints -- 300,000

Hell's Hitmen -- 100,000

The New New Midnight Express -- 1

 

COLE

Oh my!

 

TERRY

I'd also like to mention that during the tag title match, the Chairman of the board of directors, "Cowboy" Bill Watts will join good ol' J.R. in the broadcast booth. Bill wants to ensure the Inten5e do not get involved in any way. Thank you.

 

COLE

There you have it fans. Later on tonight: Black T vs. GPX for the World tag team titles. Thank you, Terry Taylor. This is going to be one wild night.

 

(Fade out)

 

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

 

“I Like” and heavily censored highlights from License To Pin welcome us to another exciting edition of HeldDOWN~!

 

ultimatelogohd.jpg

 

We’re taken to the inside of the Selland Arena in Fresno, California!

 

"Excuse me, is this on?"

 

"Good"

 

Television screens worldwide capture the incoming signal from their local cable provider, changings from a commercial on "The Best and Newest Diet Craze Ever" and into the confines of OAOAST Arena. Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, and the enigmatic Caboose are present at ringside.

 

"Over here. That's right"

 

"Welcome to Inten5eZone"

 

The crowd is rowdy as ever, booing the 4 men standing in the ring. The Mad Cappa, complete with Italian Championship, stands aside and away from the other 3, as if uncertain of his part in this charade. T-Bod and Dan Black take two turnbuckles to pose with their Title Belts, victorious at License to Pin. And Stephen Joseph, in the middle of it all... again.

 

COLE

The Inten5e revealed themselves last night, in power play for the ages. At its helm, we believe, was Stephen Joseph

 

CABOOSE

The guy's just evil.

 

COACH

You're telling me! He told me to learn how to dance!

 

COLE

At 5PM today the Inten5e arrived and directed the setup you see tonight. No HeldDown banners, nothing.

 

"It's our time right now cameraman."

 

CABOOSE

I think the attention whore wants the camera. Put it on him boys.

 

Stephen Joseph

As I said, Welcome to Inten5eZone. Well, what's left of it anyways. How about last night? How about Bill Watts, gullible as ever? C'mon, cheer for your tag team champions Black T! ::Crowd boos heavily:: No? Cheer for your fan favorite, the Mad Cappa, your Italian Champion! ::Stephen raises Cappa's arm which raises slowly, dejectedly. The crowd is decidedly mixed on Cappa:: Not even Cappa? Surely then, you're saving all your applause for me! ::The fans obviously aren't::

 

No? Then I'll quit wasting my time, and my friend's time. Puerto isn't here tonight, he's on well deserved R & R with Lindsey. But he would like to say that he's looking forward to training and wearing the Gold around his waist soon.

 

Dan, you've got something to say?

 

Dan Black

I do. Black T is looking forward to beating those punks in the Global Party Exchange again! They're nothing!

 

T-Bod

They're gum on my shoe, and I step on the gum on my shoe.

 

Dan Black

GPX, you're not good enough to be in the ring with us. It's a shame these fans have so much pity for the biggest LOSERS the OAOAST has.

 

T-Bod

Global Jobber Exchange is more like it.

 

Stephen Joseph

Gentleman, please, let's not insult your challengers...They might ..::chuckles:: BEAT YOU! ::laughter:: HA!

 

Whew. Okay. Point of tonight is really simple. I've got a hell of an announcement to make. One that will change HeldDown forever. You see...tonight...

 

"MARKS THE RETURN OF YOUR HERO!"

 

Stephen Joseph

Huh?

 

"I SAID, IT MARKS THE RETURN OF YOUR HERO..."

 

Andrew Hyland appears on stage and the crowd reacts by going nuts! Stephen Joseph slams his microphone into the mat in frustration.

 

Andrew

Hi Stephen. Remember me? I was on your show once. I was the North American Champion once. I remember what it was like. And you 4, represent nothing of what IntenseZone was about. You're a farce. Cappa, I thought you knew better?

 

So it goes like this. Next week. Andrew "Your Hero" Hyland vs. Stephen "Prima Donna" Joseph. Whatever match you want Stephen. I'll beat you. And beat you again. Until I pound it into your head that power trips do not last.

 

Stephen Joseph

Last I can recall, it was I that beat you. And I'm willing to bet with your ring rust, you're about as much of a threat as that kid in the third row with the taped up glasses. Great look kid, I'm sure you'll get laid when you're like, 40. And you Andrew, won't crash this party. It's just getting started. You never were Inten5e Andrew. You'd don't have a clue what its been like. You call me a Prima Donna. I call you a .

 

COLE

Oh My God. He can't say that on air!

 

COACH

The Inten5e have been stopped on HeldDown right off the bat by a returning Andrew Hyland!

 

COLE

A hero indeed! Fans welcome to another edition of HeldDOWN~! coming to live from Fresno, California. As always I’m Michael Cole, joined by the Coach and Caboose. Folks this past weekend saw one of the most unique spectacles in wrestling history, the sixteen man emperor of death tournament that spanned two brutal days, and ended when Hoff emerged with the right to be called the “Emperor of Death”. I’m sure we’ll hear from him later on tonight. For now let's go backstage!

 

The camera cuts to Drek Stone slowly walking down the hallway. Obviously still sore after his Hell-in-the-Cell match on Sunday, he hasnt't even bothered to cover up the large cut still etched across his forehead. Suddenly, he stops in front of a door and takes a deep breath. Looking unsure, he grabs the doorknob, but then suddenly backs away from the door. He paces down the hallway a little bit, but then quickly walks back there once again.

 

DREK

This is stupid. What the hell am I pacing outside here for? This guy's not going to be able to do anything....

 

Drek, looking like he's made his final decision, starts to walk back down the hallway. Suddenly, he stops in his tracks, and shakily glances at the door once again.

 

DREK

But then again....he could help. He really could. Jeez....uh.....

 

Standing there for a few seconds, Drek slowly walks back towards the door. Taking a deep breath, he suddenly turns the doorknob and barges into the room, curiously forgetting the custom of knocking. As soon as Drek steps into the room, he moves towards the desk sitting in the center. The camera slowly manuevers around Drek's body, until it finally gets a glance of who it is actually sitting at the desk.

 

EDDY KALM

Oh, hey there, Drek Stone. What could I do for you?

 

A buzz raises from the audience, noticeably surprised that Drek would actually take the time to visit a counselor like Eddy.

 

DREK

I.....this is stupid....forget it....

 

Drek turns around and begins to walk back towards the door, until Eddy interrupts him.

 

EDDY

Does this have anything to do with your loss last Sunday?

 

Drek immediately stops and lowers his head dejectedly. He slowly turns his head towards Eddy, and the two share a knowing glance.

 

DREK

It could......it could have something to do with it. But I really don't know if I want to talk about it.

 

EDDY

Why not?

 

DREK

That's a pretty ridiculous question. It's like me asking you if you want to talk about that beatdown you got a few weeks ago. Mind if I interview you about that?

 

EDDY

Well....see.....I'm not the one that visited you. There would be no reason to question me about something I'm desperately trying to forget. But if you would rather just keep to yourself, then that's your decision. Have a good day.

 

Eddy starts to swivel his chair around, but Drek quickly speaks.

 

DREK

No....no, wait.....

 

With a reassuring smile, Eddy turns back around to face Drek.

 

DREK

Jesus......Eddy, I shouldn't have lost that match on Sunday. Ugh, it's just been eating me up inside. There's no doubt in my mind that I have the ability to beat the Mad Cappa. I mean....I did it at the Great Angle Bash. What the hell happened last Sunday? How did I suddenly lose to the same guy that I had a solemn vow to defeat?

 

EDDY

Well, Mr. Stone, there's one major problem here. You're dwelling on the past. There's no reason to be doing that anymore.

 

DREK

But my Italian Championship....christ, do you know how much that cost me to develop? And it just meant everything in the world to me. I mean, it'd be like Stephen Joseph Popick losing his pocket protector. Or Homeless Dan suddenly losing that sandwich he had his eyes on for three months. It was MINE.....and now it's gone! All.....gone.

 

EDDY

Drek, you're just going through some minor withdrawal symptoms right now. You had gotten used to the Italian Title being around your shoulder, and now, you miss having the feeling of holding some gold in the OAOAST. That is perfectly understandable. But you need to realize that this is all in the past. Do you have a time machine?

 

DREK

Well....not yet.

 

EDDY

Then there's no way you can change what has happened already. You need to look towards the future. Who cares if you lost the Italian Title? You have the ability to move onto bigger and better things!

 

DREK

I know that, but...

 

EDDY

No, there should be no buts in this right now. Your confidence is wavering somewhat right now. But this is something that you can fix! This is something you have the ability to change! Realize that your loss to The Mad Cappa is not the end of your career. That it's not going to be the end of your life. You still have a chance to keep moving! Now, I want you to just take part in a little exercise.

 

Drek looks over to the side, where a full-size mirror has been set up to show him his reflection.

 

EDDY

Look in that mirror. Stare at the person looking back at you. See how the competitive spirit in that man is beginning to climb? See how he's slowly getting back the fire in his eyes? Can you see that this man is ready to move on with his life? Well, Drek, that's you.

 

DREK

Okay, listen Eddy, this is getting kind of.....

 

EDDY

Keep staring at that mirror. Now, repeat after me. I'm smart.....

 

DREK

I'm smart.....

 

EDDY

Capable....

 

DREK

Capable....

 

EDDY

And doggone it, people like me.

 

DREK

Doc, I really don't think there are too many people around here that like me....

 

EDDY

Nonsense. I like you. And I'm sure there are people around here that feel the same way. Now say it.

 

DREK

And people like me....

 

EDDY

What? I couldn't hear you!

 

DREK

I SAID....people like me.

 

EDDY

Say it like you mean it!

 

DREK

PEOPLE LIKE ME! I AM SMART, CAPABLE, AND GOD DAMMIT, PEOPLE LIKE ME!

 

EDDY

That's the spirit! This is just a different path that your OAOAST career has chosen to take! It doesn't mean you have taken ANY step back. Realize that! After you walk out of here, keep your head held high. Realize that YOU are Drek Stone!

 

DREK

Thanks a lot, Eddy. I really mean it!

 

Drek quickly stands out of his seat and rises to shake Eddy Kalm's hand. Drek walks out of the room with a wide smile as Eddy folds his arms in front of him contentedly. Immediately after walking out of the room, Drek starts to walk down the hallway, whistling happily to himself. Meanwhile, Leon Rodez brushes past him, walking back the other way. Rodez, stifling a laugh, stares at Drek for a second, but keeps walking the opposite direction.

 

RODEZ

The Don oughta have you whacked after that performance on Sunday.

 

Drek suddenly stops walking and lowers his head, shocked that somebody would lower his spirits so soon. After a few moments, he quickly spins his head around to address Leon, but Rodez has already left the room. Drek, with a scowl starting to climb across his face, pounds his hand against a nearby locker.

 

DREK

........asshole! Asshole!

 

Drek stomps down the hallway with a much different attitude than the one he just had after leaving Eddy's office.

 

COACH

First Hoff. Now Drek. What has happened to our beloved heels around here?

 

CABOOSE

You shut your dirty mouth, Coach! Ric Flair would yank your tongue out if he ever heard you use such terms.

 

COLE

What do you mean? What term? Beloved......?

 

CABOOSE

Idiots. Both of you. There's nothing wrong with these guys going to see Eddy. Eddy's there to remind them of the ability they have, and the fact that, with these two superstars specifically, ANYTHING is within their grasp. After that Hell-in-a-Cell match on Sunday, I expected Drek to be on crutches or in a wheelchair. THAT'S how hard he worked. But instead, he had the strength and the pure guts to walk around here under his own power. But that's not good enough for you!

 

COACH

I guess. If I got my ass handed to me by The Mad Cappa, I might be a little angry too.....

 

CABOOSE

It's a shame you're not more in touch with your emotional side. Drek went to see Eddy as a morale booster. And there you are to poke fun. I hope we get a whole bunch of outraged letters tonight from our fans.....and you have to read every single incoherent rambling they decided to scribble down!

 

COLE

Now, now, no reason to get into threats we'll just want to take back later. Let's just go to a commercial. We'll be right back.

 

(Go to to break)

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(Return from break)

 

The cameras cut to a shot of the garage area backstage, where Hoff is entering the building, carrying a huge dufflebag. A round of boos goes up in the crowd, with a few cheers sprinkled in.

 

CABOOSE

There he is!

 

COLE

Hoff, last weekend, victorious in the Emperor of Death tournament under some very suspicious circumstances.

 

COACH

That tournament was certainly interesting!

 

COLE

Word is that Hoff apparently has a lot to say here tonight.

 

Hoff begins walking through the arena, when a familiar voice calls out to him. Hoff stops as Jackie Gayda, OAOAST reporter, runs up to him, microphone in hand. Hoff gives her a slight roll of the eyes.

 

JACKIE

Hoff, first of all, congratulations on winning the deathmatch tourney this weekend at-- ULP!

 

Jackie is cut off as Hoff grabs the microphone out of her hand.

 

CABOOSE

"He has something to say" is right!

 

Hoff takes a deep breath.

 

HOFF

Listen, Jackie, and you boys in the back, and you fans at home. Listen up, because I'm only gonna say this one time. Last weekend...

 

Hoff grimaces and rolls his neck.

 

HOFF

Last weekend was supposed to be one of the greatest nights of my career. Hoff, the Emperor of Death. When no one said I could do it, when everyone said I was afraid, I went out and beat everyone they laid in my path, and I EARNED each victory.

 

COLE

He didn't beat Gunner!

 

CABOOSE

Quiet, Cole.

 

HOFF

Last weekend, License to Pin, was supposed to be a great night. And somehow, it ended up being a travesty.

 

JACKIE

But, how do you mean?

 

Hoff glares hotly at Jackie.

 

HOFF

Jackie, the Emperor of Death tournament was supposed to be this big event, this can't-miss concept, and what happened? Guys no-showed. The writers got their wires crossed. There were character developments that the guys didn't even know about!

 

Hoff angrily pulls the mic away from Jackie and looks hard into the camera.

 

HOFF

This is the bottom line. Last weekend, we fucked up. All of us, as a company, screwed up bigger than I can ever remember. What was supposed to be a great night ended in chaos. And I'm not calling anybody out. I'm guilty, we're all guilty, but there were definitely SOME people who made some bad decisions. Decisions that cost me, that cost the company, that cost the fans. I get that sometimes things happen, and that sometimes life gets in the way. But believe me when I tell you that it had better never, ever happen again, or I'm coming after some people in some very high places.

 

Jackie looks stunned.

 

COACH

What's he talking about?

 

COLE

I have no idea. Just be cool.

 

Hoff takes another deep breath, then continues.

 

HOFF

Now. Having said all that, let me assure everyone of one more thing. I know, I know, sometimes I can be kind of a jerk.

 

The fans boooooooo in response, and Jackie even nods slightly.

 

HOFF

But, the Emperor of Death tournament...it really opened my eyes!

 

COLE

What?

 

HOFF

It made me see that there's more to this business than just running around, beating guys up, and cracking jokes! This is a very serious industry, and after my experience this past weekend, I intend to start taking it as such.

 

Hoff smiles softly and reaches into his bag.

 

COACH

Wow, is he serious?

 

COLE

I..I guess so!

 

HOFF

Now, Jackie, if you'll excuse me...

 

Hoff pulls out of his duffelbag a golden crown, inlaid with jewels and purple velvet.

 

HOFF

...I have to go address my subjects.

 

Jackie shakes her head as Hoff walks off, crying out "THE EMPEROR IS HERE! THE EMPEROR IS HERE! BEND THE KNEE AND GENUFLECT! WOOOOOOO!!!"

 

*cut to da S.C.*

 

CABOOSE

HA!

 

COLE

Serious my foot. Hoff is just as aloof as ever!

 

CABOOSE

I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

COACH

Leon Rodez is in action next!

 

(Go to break)

 

(Return from break)

 

Adverts over, we return to Fresno California, the sight of the post-LTP HeldDOWN~! And already, a rather creepy looking figure stands in the centre of the ring as Triple C are sat at ringside.

 

COLE

Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! Already tonight, we've seen and heard from some of the biggest stars in the game...and right now, it's time for action with two men who could be future stars.

 

CABOOSE

Wait...we're actually having a wrestling match tonight!?!

 

COLE

Uhm...yeah.

 

CABOOSE

Wow. Someone in the back must be smoking something potent. A wrestling match on a wrestling show?

 

COLE

Well, if you're commenting on the lack of action tonight, we are coming off of the most brutal two nights in OAOAST history. A lot of the talent are sporting injuries...

 

CABOOSE

Phfooey! In my day, we'd wrestle every night with or without injuries...sometimes twice a night.

 

COLE

Yeah, well, in your day Ric Flair was still a draw.

 

COACH

ZINGA~!

 

COLE

Oh, hey there Coach.

 

Meanwhile, in the ring the mysterious looking man begins limbering up as the world famous (and by god don't he know it) Michael Buffer steps into the centre of the ring.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, currently in the ring. From Mexico City, New Mexico...he weighs in at one hundred seventy five pounds. This is... SKUUUUUUULL... KIIIIIIIIIDDD!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

The fans jeer Skull Kid, for no reason over than he's got a skull painted on his face (insta heel~!), as the luchador raises his hands in the air.

 

COACH

Since when could enhancement talent afford face-paint?

 

COLE

This Skull Kid is far from enhancement talent. An underrated worker, for too long left in the shadow of Damaramu before he...erm...

 

CABOOSE

I'd leve it at that Mickey. Don't wanna get a lawsuit.

 

Skull Kid continues to skip around on the spot, trying to loosen himself up...

 

 

...as suddenly, "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate starts up. Cheers suddenly fill the arena, as out from the back steps Leon Rodez. Not his usual swaggering self, Rodez still looks banged up from License To Pin and his drubbing at the hands of Calvin Szechstein. But he's a trooper, and still manages to flash a smile to the fans.

 

BUFFER

And the opponent. From Grand Rapids Michigan and weighing one hundred and ninety eight pounds. The New-Age Love Machine! 'Silky Smooth'... LEEEEEEOOOOOONN ROOOOOOODDEEEEZZZ!!!

 

The crowd, specifically the females, cheer once more as Rodez stops at the foot of the ramp. Skull Kid looks down from the ring, as Rodez quickly removes his slick black robe and dumps it into the arms of a nearby ring crew member. He quickly scuttles off, as Rodez eases himself up onto the apron and raises his hands in the air, getting considerably more cheers than Skull Kid did.

 

CABOOSE

You may have a point Cole...how the hell is Rodez going to be able to win here tonight, after what Calvin did to him at License To Pin?

 

COLE

He'll have to show a lot of heart that's for sure.

 

But heart may not help him, as Skull Kid suddenly charges forward and forearms him in the jaw! Rodez nearly falls to the floor, but grabs the ropes at the last moment, as the bell is quickly rung.

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Skull Kid nails a second forearm and a third, as Rodez hovers over the concrete floor precariously. But luckily for him, Kid grabs him by the hair and pulls him into the ring. Rodez stands back up, to take a vicious kick to the gut...

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...and a knifedge chop, rocking him into the corner.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...and a second.

 

CABOOSE

Good start from Rodez...

 

Grabbing Rodez by the arm, Kid attempts and irish whip. Rodez manages to counter though, pulling Kid forward into a BAAAACK~ body drop!

 

COLE

You were saying.

 

CABOOSE

Bleh.

 

Skull Kid gets right back up. But he goes right back down from a clothesline, which pops the crowd. It also seems to fire up Rodez, as he suddenly breaks into a sprint and hits the ropes, coming back towards Skull Kid. But the former follower of Damaramu reacts quickly and rolls out of Rodez's way. The New Age Love Machine carries on running though, hitting the ropes and landing a spinning elbow to the jaw. Down goes Skull Kid, as Rodez pops right back up...but suddenly, the effects of License To Pin hit him and he drops momentarily to his knees.

 

"LEON! LEON! LEON!"

 

The crowd begin chanting, giving Rodez a surge of energy. Up staggers Skull Kid, taking a boot to the gut. Leon then looks to lock on a front facelock, but gets quickly backdropped. Skull Kid now runs off the ropes, waiting for Rodez to get back up before springing off his feet...

 

...and getting caught in mid-crossbody, and planted with a scoop slam. Rodez quickly follows up with a legdrop, before making a cover...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both men get back up quickly, with Rodez quick to grab Skull Kid in a collar and elbow tie-up. Kid tries to escape, but can't and takes a series of knees to the gut. That weakens him up, ready for a European uppercut that sends him crashing across the ring.

 

COLE

A low risk, high impact strategy being shown here from Rodez. Smart, considering his physical condition.

 

COACH

And his bum knee.

 

Skull Kid rolls through, landing on his feet. Rodez instantly charges forward and attempts a clothesline, but Kid ducks and pushes Rodez on into the corner. Leon can't stop himself and crashing into the buckles sternum first! Hitting hard, Rodez suddenly goes limp and drops to his knees. Meanwhile, Skull Kid strides over and throws a dropkick "Silky Smooth"'s way. The kick connects...and sends Rodez crashing forward, face-first into the middle turnbuckle! Down slumps Rodez, into a pinfall from Kid...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

TWOCOUNT!

 

"YEEEAAHHH!"

 

Showing no emotion, Skull Kid pulls himself back and looks down on Rodez, who is still disorientated. A hard kick disorientates him even more. As does the second. But still, Rodez clasps the ropes and drags himself to his feet...

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...only to take another knifedge chop.

 

CABOOSE

This kid doesn't look right. Calvin really screwed him up.

 

COLE

Well, this match is quite obviously far from over. But I'll admit, Leon does look to be suffering out there.

 

Indeed, only the ropes seem to be holding him up at the moment as Skull Kid moves in and fires a couple of hard kicks into Leon's gut. Gritting his teeth through the pain, Rodez performs a standing switch and looks for a german suplex. But Skull Kid hits an elbow to the jaw to block. Rodez releases the waistlock, as Skull Kid switched behind Rodez himself and sends a stinging kick into the ribs of the fan favourite. That rocks Rodez, as Kid launches over his head and locks his legs around Rodez's head, sending him flying forward and out of the ring!

 

COLE

Beautiful head-scissors from Skull Kid!

 

CABOOSE

Never thought I'd hear the words 'Skull Kid' and 'beautiful' in the same sentence.

 

COACH

At least not without the word 'isn't'.

 

As Rodez hits the floor hard, Skull Kid is already backing himself up against the ropes, waiting for Rodez to pull himself back up. Slowly Leon begins to do just that, as Kid suddenly sprints off the ropes. Hitting the opposite strands, Kid rebounds and charges back across the ring. Rodez has finally reached his feet but has no idea where he is. Skull Kid is closing in meanwhile and reaches the opposite ropes, suddenly ducking through the top and middle ropes, somersaulting out of the ring and wiping out Rodez!!!

 

COLE

Topé Con Hilo!!! Incredible manoeuvre!

 

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

 

The crowd, despite not being Skull Kid fans, voice their opinions on the move. Meanwhile, both Skull Kid and Rodez are laid out on the floor, up against the steel railings. Seeing both men not moving, the referee begins his count...

 

 

"ONE!"

 

 

 

"TWO!"

 

COACH

These guys had better get back in the ring, and quick...

 

"THREE!"

 

COACH

...or they're both gonna get counted out.

 

 

"FOUR!"

 

Finally Skull Kid starts to stir, looking back up into the ring briefly. But he quickly turns back to Rodez, ignoring the count and stomping away on The New Age Love Machine.

 

"FIVE!"

 

COLE

Do you think Skull Kid even realises why the referee is counting?

 

CABOOSE

Of course he does! Just because he's got paint on his face doesn't make him stupid!

 

"SIX!"

 

Skull Kid finally pulls Rodez back to his feet, pushing him forward into the ring apron. Rodez hits hard gut first, before Skull Kid follows in and clotheslines Rodez hard in the back of the head! The force doubles over Rodez, which is enough for the referee to deem him back in the ring, breaking the count. Meanwhile, Skull Kid walks around the ring and climbs up onto the apron. Rodez begins to slowly recover, rolling himself into the ring. As he does, Skull Kid slingshots to the top rope and leaps from there into the ring...

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

...nailing a BIG springboard legdrop to the back of Rodez's head! The New Age Love Machine looks in trouble, as Skull Kid pulls him from the ropes and makes a cover...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

"YEEEEAAAHHH!"

 

Still the crowd are solidly behind Rodez, as Skull Kid pulls him back up. Weekly Rodez swings with a right hand. But Skull Kid easily ducks it, hitting a quick jab to the ribs in the process to double Rodez over. Again Skull Kid runs to the ropes, coming back but catching a desperation clothesline!

 

COLE

Rodez is far from done though! This kid has a lot of heart.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but heart isn't going to keep your opponent down for a three count. Heart isn't gonna make anyone submit. All it really does is give you something to drool over.

 

Skull Kid is up first, looking a little dazed. Rodez is right up behind him but he takes a hard back elbow. Another follows, before Skull Kid grabs him by the arm and attempts an irish whip. Rodez manages to counter, sending Skull Kid into the ropes but he manages to hang onto the top strand and stop himself. Reacting quickly, Leon charges in as Skull Kid dives out from the ropes...

 

 

...missing a crescent kick as Rodez ducks, carrying onto the ropes. Skull Kid acrobatically leaps into the air, looking to leapfrog the on-rushing Rodez, and does so. But Rodez stops right behind Skull Kid, waiting for him to land before punching him hard in the kidneys. Kid stops in his tracks, as Rodez spins him around into a boot to the gut and looks for a double underhook. Out spins Skull Kid quickly, winding up behind his opponent. Rodez tries to react with a back elbow. But Skull Kid ducks that...and as Rodez staggers past, Skull Kid wipes him out with a spinning wheel kick!

 

COLE

Wow. This Skull Kid is really showing us something here!

 

COACH

Damn skippy. This guy's got skills, which we didn't really see when he was under Damaramu's wing. But this might be his chance to really break out from the pack.

 

Both men return to their feet quickly, with Skull Kid the more reactive and prepared to swing with a clothesline. He telegraphs it though, allowing Rodez to easily duck. Skull Kid turns on his heels and charges again...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...right into a superkick!

 

"YEEEEAAAAAAHHH!!"

 

Down goes Skull Kid, with Rodez landing on top of him...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEARFALL!

 

Undettered, Rodez pulls himself up and drops into a crouching position, ready to strike...but just as quickly stands back up and something on the ramp catches his eye. Or rather...someone.

 

COLE

HEY! What the...

 

CABOOSE

Alright! It's DREK STONE!

 

Rodez suddenly forgets all about the match he's suddenly involved in, pointing up the aisle towards Drek, who holds his hands out in a show of innocence. Meanwhile, Skull Kid is getting back up. Clearly bothered by this unscheduled appearance Rodez lets the referee know about Drek...just as Skull Kid dives in from behind, planting a forearm into Rodez's ribs!

 

COLE

What the hell is Drek Stone doing out here?

 

CABOOSE

Looks to me like he's watching this match.

 

COLE

Yeah, but why?

 

CABOOSE

Well, Rodez made a 'comment' earlier. Maybe Drek just wondered who the hell Rodez was.

 

With Rodez hurt, Skull Kid sends him for a ride towards the ropes. Hitting them, Rodez suddenly tumbles forward into a forward roll which avoids the on-rushing Skull Kid. However Kid reacts quickly, leaping to the middle rope and springing off them. Rodez turns just in time and manages to duck a crossbody from Skull Kid, causing the mysterious one to crash chest first to the mat!

 

From the rampway, Drek looks pretty impressed.

 

Back in the ring meanwhile, Rodez is on the hop...climbing up towards the top rope as Skull Kid gets back up, holding his gut. Reaching the top, Rodez takes a moment to steady himself. Skull Kid meanwhile reaches his feet but stumbles back a couple of steps...just as Drek begins to walk further down the ramp.

 

COACH

Uh oh...Rodez had better keep his eye on Drek.

 

CABOOSE

Why? Drek's just watching the match, that's all.

 

COACH

He's walking towards the ring 'Boose. I'd say that's cause for Leon's concern.

 

Indeed, Leon sees Drek beginning to stroll down the ramp and stops for a moment. But as he does, Skull Kid suddenly dives forward into the ropes...

 

 

...CROTCHING RODEZ ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!"

 

CABOOSE

Well...I think that may have knocked the 'Love Machine' out of Leon Rodez.

 

Rodez doubles over and begins to fall forward...getting grabbing by Skull Kid, who sets up Rodez and suplexes him off the buckles, floating over into a pinfall...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

TWOCOUNT!

 

Skull Kid gets right back up, encouraging Rodez to do the same. In the meantime, Drek has began to retreat back up the rampway...all the while watching the action. Action which is going Skull Kid's way, as he takes Rodez up and over with a hiptoss. Rodez gets back up, taking a dropkick to the BUTT of the jaw. Back up gets Rodez again, into another dropkick. Still he keeps on getting up though. So this time, Skull Kid grabs him by the arm and whips Rodez...

 

*CHINK!*

 

...sternum first into the turnbuckles!!!

 

Back staggers Rodez, as Skull Kid brushes past him and leaps to the top rope in a single bound. Finally Rodez stops staggering, winding up in perfect position for Skull Kid to spring off the top and moonsault onto Rodez, hooking the leg as he lands...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

ONLYTWOAGAIN!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Rodez won't stay down! Despite the pain he must be feeling after License To Pin, Rodez is not staying down!

 

CABOOSE

He will. Skull Kid hasn't brought out the big guns just yet. But he will.

 

Skull Kid quickly jumps back to his feet and leaps to the middle rope, as Rodez begins to pull himself back up too. As he does, Skull Kid suddenly jumps up from the middle rope and lands off the top, launching immediately off that with a crazy somersault senton...

 

 

 

*WHAM!*

 

 

...WHICH MISSES!

 

"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd cheer once more, as Skull Kid lands hard but holds back any pain he may be feeling. Rodez meanwhile thanks his lucky stars that he managed to avoid the impact, before looking to the stage and pointing up at Drek. Again Drek holds his hands out in innocence. But Rodez could care less now, focusing instead on Skull Kid. The crazy Kid stumbles back a couple of steps, but gets grabbed by the arm by Rodez and whipped towards the corner...but he manages to get a foot up and block, before back elbowing the onrushing Rodez in the jaw!

 

COLE

Great resiliance from Skull Kid!

 

Suddenly, Skull Kid grabs a 3/4 facelock on Rodez and runs up the ropes, looking to hit the Acid Drop which would possibly spell the end for Rodez. That is, if he didn't block and counter with an inverted suplex...

 

 

 

 

...into a stunner!

 

COACH

Street Smarts~! Rodez hits the Street Smarts!

 

Snapping off of Rodez's shoulder, Skull Kid's head jerks back violently in a whiplash effect and he flops lifelessly to the mat. Meanwhile Rodez turns to the crowd, and gives the call for the 'Because The Lady Loves', which brings them to their feet.

 

COLE

And now, it looks like Leon Rodez wants to end this match!

 

CABOOSE

He's got it done already! Why not pin the guy.

 

COLE

Rodez wants to give these fans what they came to see. The 'Because The Lady Loves'.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah...because these people paid $20 to watch some nobody do a bunch of flips and somersaults, so he can show off for a bunch of California skanks.

 

As the crowd continue cheering, Rodez climbs out to the apron and quickly ascends the turnbuckle. Skull Kid is out cold meanwhile, not moving at all. He's in perfect position too, as Rodez reaches the top and quickly launches off...

 

 

 

...rotating through 450 degrees...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and NAILING the Because The Lady Loves!!!

 

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd erupt and Drek raises an eyebrow, as Rodez makes a cover...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Rodez stands up from the cover immediately, not botherng to celebrate his victory and instead glaring up towards Drek, who is busy applauding Rodez's efforts...mockingly it seems.

 

"Your winner of the match...LEON RRROOOOODDEEEZZZ!!!"

 

COLE

A respectable showing here from Leon Rodez and a win in quick time. Great way to rebound from License To Pin.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah yeah. But he's not 100%, not by a long shot. It took him plenty of effort to finish off Skull Kid.

 

COACH

Well, Drek seems pretty impressed.

 

Still applauding, Drek begins to turn and leave as Rodez looks on, totally confused. But he has the victory and with Drek gone, he can finally turn and throw a thumbs up to the crowd, who cheer The New Age Love Machine and his efforts.

 

****

 

(We open on a scene of the lobby of Williams & Horn. Security Guards are sitting at the front desk as the front doors swing open. Rick Edwards walks in with a determined look on his face and the guards stand up with their hands on their weapons.)

 

GUARD

We can’t let you in here Mr. Edwards. The Boss said to stop you when you showed up.

 

*Rick gives the guard a pissed off look before quickly grabbing the guards gun, twisting his arm behind him, and placing the gun against him.*

 

RICK

I’m not playing games with you people. If anyone so much as says a word or reaches for anything I’ll shoot him. I won’t kill him, but I’ll put him in a lot of pain.

 

*The guards lay down their guns*

 

RICK

Kick them over to me.

 

*The guards kick the guns over to him. Rick then kicks them across the room and drags the one guard to the elevator doors. Rick then knocks out the guard with the BUTT of the gun before hitting the elevator button. He then gathers the other guns and puts them in the elevator with him before heading on up. Rick gets to the top and hides against the wall as the doors open. Slowly he looks out the door and sees that the hallway is empty. He then makes his way into the hallway and towards the door to The Boss’ office. Suddenly the doors open and out steps Christopher Cain.*

 

CAIN

Mr. Edwards, how nice to see you. We’ve been expecting you since License to Pin.

 

RICK

So the Boss really does watch our programs? It doesn’t matter that he knew I was coming. I’m still getting into that office.

 

CAIN

No…you won’t. I guess you didn’t learn your lesson at the PPV. I’ll just have to teach it to you again.

 

*Cain takes off his suit coat and tie before rolling up his sleeves and waving Rick to come on. Rick puts his fists up and both men circle around each other, waiting for the other to make a move.*

 

RICK

Come on…hit me.

 

*Cain swings and Rick ducks before nailing Cain in the gut with two hard punches. Cain shakes them off and shoves Rick against the wall. Cain goes for a hard punch to the face, but Rick moves and Cain’s punch goes right through the wall! Rick quickly moves away from the wall as Cain pulls his hand out of the hole and we see a little blood on his knuckles.*

 

CAIN

Scared?

 

RICK

Not really.

 

*Cain swings again and Rick ducks, but Cain quickly brings his other fist up and catches Rick right on the side of the face. Rick almost goes down, but he catches himself and backs up a few steps. Rick backs up against a wall and Cain goes to punch him, but Rick moves and Cain’s punch goes right through the glass of a Fire Extinguisher case! Cain looks pissed as his hand is bleeding even more now. Rick wastes no time in grabbing the Fire Extinguisher and slamming it into the Cain’s ribs. Cain actually shows a sign of pain as Rick blasts him again in the ribs. Rick goes for another shot, but Cain kicks him hard in his hurt leg! Rick crumples to the ground in pain and drops the Fire Extinguisher.*

 

CAIN

You shouldn’t have come in such a bad condition.

 

RICK

Don’t worry about me. I’ll be just fine!

 

*Rick kicks Cain to the kneecap and Cain lets out a painful yell as Rick gets back to his feet and plants his shoulder into Cain’s gut. Rick strains to lift him up and rams him into a nearby door! Cain hammers on Rick’s back as Rick continually pounds his shoulder into Cain’s gut. Cain gets him to stop by kicking him again in the bad leg. Rick stumbles back, but then runs forward as Cain pulls the door open right into Rick’s head! Rick goes down to the floor, almost knocked out, as Cain pulls him over to the doorway. He places Rick on his side on the ground in the doorway and begins slamming the door on Rick’s gut!*

 

CAIN

You are really beginning to become a pain Rick. You had it all with us, but now you’ll have nothing when we’re through.

 

*Cain stops and pulls Rick to his feet. Rick seems worn out and half conscious as Cain begins beating his head against the wall.*

 

CAIN

What did you hope to accomplish here today? Did you really think that you would get the better of us!

 

*Cain grabs Rick by the ears and goes to slam his head into the wall one more time, but Rick begins gouging at his eyes and Cain lets him go. Rick then grabs Cain’s head and slams it so hard into the other wall that it leaves a dent. Cain falls to the floor where Rick drags him over to the open door and slams the door on Cain’s head as hard as he can! Cain then goes unconscious.*

 

RICK

No…I knew for a fact I would get the better of you.

 

*Rick stumbles over to the double doors of The Boss’ office and kicks one of them open. He then walks inside where the Boss sits at his desk with the back of the chair facing Rick as usual.*

 

RICK

Turn around you Son of a Bitch!

 

THE BOSS

Well…I didn’t expect you to beat Cain, but I should have known you had it in you.

 

RICK

I said turn around!

 

THE BOSS

Are you sure you want me to do that Rick? I don’t think you’re ready for what you’ll see.

 

RICK

What’s your problem? Are you too ugly for people to see? Or are you just too much of a coward?

 

THE BOSS

Anonymity is power Rick. If your enemies don’t know who you are they can’t attack you personally.

 

RICK

Well right now you can either turn around or I’ll make you turn around. So who has the power now?

 

THE BOSS

While anonymity has its power there is something else that has power as well and that is fear. Do you fear me Rick?

 

RICK

Hell no.

 

THE BOSS

Are you sure? Do you not still think about me during the nights when you have nightmares of your past?

 

RICK

What are you talking about?

 

THE BOSS

You already know who I am don’t you? Deep down inside you’ve always known, but you’ve tried to deny it. You hoped I was gone for good!

 

RICK

Father?

 

*The Boss turns around and we see…*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

theboss.jpg

 

*Rick’s face turns pale as Father smiles.*

 

FATHER

Yes son…you will never be rid of me. You walk around talking about how you’re trying to separate yourself from me, but I was here all along. Just when you thought you had become your own man…you were right back doing exactly what I wanted you to do.

 

RICK

You son of a bitch…

 

FATHER

When will you realize that you can never truly be your own man? Someone or something will always affect or shape your life. Someone or something will always be in control. You’re a part of one big machine that keeps on moving. The real question is will you work against the machine and be defeated or will you work with it and live? Now that you know the truth we can put all this behind us and start again. Let us be Father and Son once more and start anew.

 

RICK

You’re not my Father anymore. This machine as you call it will eventually break down like all machines. You’re not in control like you think you are and I intend to wreck your machine piece by piece.

 

FATHER

Do you think you’ll ever fully separate yourself from the memory of me and how I’ve affected your life? You will always be my son whether you like it or not. You can change everything about yourself, but I will always be a part of who you are!

 

RICK

You know what you probably will be, but instead of trying to run from it I will use it as a constant reminder of how much better than you I really am!

 

FATHER

Ha! If you choose this path then you will eventually end up right back here with me anyway. Either you find yourself standing at my side or broken at my feet!

 

RICK

How about you find yourself on your knees kissing my ass?

 

*Rick dives across the desk and attacks Father, but as he grabs for his head it comes off!! Sparks fly from the neck as Rick tosses the head away and climbs off the desk.*

 

RICK

What the hell!? A robot!?

 

*Suddenly a helicopter appears outside the office window with Father and J. Arthur sitting inside. Father grabs a megaphone and speaks.*

 

FATHER

You didn’t really think I’d put myself in harms way did you Rick? I could hear every word spoken in that room and the voice you heard was my own, but you will not get your hands on me that easily. You made your choice and now the machine will ultimately destroy you. I’m sorry son, but it must be this way.

 

*The helicopter flies away as Rick grabs the robot head and sends it crashing through the window in anger. We fade out on the angry face of Rick Edwards*

 

(Go to break)

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(Return from break)

 

COACH

It's been an exciting night so far...I wonder what we could see next?

 

COLE

Well, it looks like we're in store for a visit from--

 

Cole is abruptly cut off by the strains of "Black" as the lights dim.

 

COLE

God, I hate that f'ing song...

 

As the fans boo, Hoff steps out onto the entrance ramp...but not in his ring gear. Instead, Hoff is clad in a pair of blue jeans...and a velvet robe. Purple velvet, trimmed in white fur. His gold crown rests atop his head, and in one hand he's carrying a jeweld golden scepter. The 24/7 Title is slung over his other arm, and a heavy bandage is wrapped across one arm, and another across his chest.

 

COACH

Wow, look at the threads!

 

CABOOSE

Hey, you're gonna be an Emperor, you gotta dress the part.

 

Hoff stops halfway down the aisle, smiling and waving his scepter out across the crowd. Most are still booing, but sme cheers and some laughs can be heard. Hoff himself is laughing pretty hard as he walks the rest of the way down to ringside.

 

COLE

Well, like it or not, Hoff is the Emperor of Death, beating a returning Axel in the finals of the tournament!

 

CABOOSE

That's right, Cole, a guy he wasn't even prepared for! And he STILL won!

 

COLE

He only had to fight Axel because he laid out Gunner Sharps!

 

CABOOSE

Ha, I bet Gunner's STILL in that San Francisco hospital!

 

COLE

Will you stop.

 

The lights come up as Hoff steps into the ring, spinning and showing off his robe and crown! Hoff swaggers over to the timekeeper and grabs a microphone.

 

COLE

Look at him. He's pretty proud of himself.

 

CABOOSE

And he should be!

 

Hoff is all smiles as he pauses, looking around the arena and soaking in the fans' reaction.

 

HOFF

Welcome to the future.

 

A few fans actually pop for the catchphrase, but most remain negative.

 

HOFF

And what a future it is! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you YOUR reigning Emperor of Death......ME!!!

 

COACH

There he is!

 

CABOOSE

Haha, preach on, Brother Hoff!

 

Hoff holds his arms out, smiling wide.

 

HOFF

You know, it is SO GOOD to be me right now! I mean, just look at me! Now I admit, even I get bumps and bruises, and I took my fair share at License to Pin. But those other guys? Forget about it. They couldn't cut it! There is nobody in this company that is tougher than I am, and last wekend PROVED it!

 

The fans boo, but Hoff waves them off.

 

HOFF

Boo me if you want to, but look at the hard evidence! Not just last night, but over the past two months, I've racked up win after win. Crystal? Stole her belt. Axel? Beat him, and not just last night. Twice. Sly Sommers? With ease. Everyone I've gone up against has fallen. And speaking of fallen, you can all stop getting your hopes up, because I've got it on good authority that Gunner Sharps is STILL laid up in some crappy hospital in San Francisco.

 

The fans jeer the bad news.

 

CABOOSE

See? I KNEW it!!

 

HOFF

But you know, it's a sad day for me, too.

 

COLE

Huh? What does he mean?

 

HOFF

It's a sad day, because I'm starting to realize that, quite simply, no one will ever beat me! Look at the facts!

 

The fans are enraged at this point.

 

COLE

Come on! What facts?

 

CABOOSE

Be quiet, Cole!

 

HOFF

The FACTS are real simple. There are, at current, three winners in this entire company. Myself, Calvin Szechstien, and Zack Malibu. Everyone else is a loser. Sly couldn't beat Cal, Crystalcouldn't beat Zack--

 

COACH

Oh now THAT'S ridiculous!

 

HOFF

...and, of course, the 113th Airborne couldn't take me down right now. But what it boils down to is this. There is nobody else, in this company or in this COUNTRY, that can beat me inside this ring. So, it's with a heavy heart that I have decided....to RETIRE the 24/7 Title.

 

A wave of shock passes in the crowd as Hoff nods solemnly.

 

COLE

WHAT?! Retire the title?

 

COACH

He can't do that, can he?

 

COLE

No! At least...I don't think so!

 

Hoff takes a look at the belt.

 

HOFF

Now, of course, I'm not Bill Watts, and God knows I have no desire to be. I can't "officially" retire the belt. But, until someone worthy steps up to the plate, I will not defend this title anymore...EVER.

 

The fans are LIVID as Hoff pretends to fight back tears.

 

CABOOSE

Oh man! The end of an era is over!

 

COLE

Will you stop? This can't go down! Someone has to step up!

 

HOFF

And I--

 

Hoff is cut off as Local H's "Bound for the Floor" cuts in on the arena sound system.

 

COLE

What the...Chris Stevens?

 

COACH

The Vampire Slayer!

 

A cheer comes up from the stands as Chris Stevens steps out onto the stage, with a mic in hand! Stevens looks at Hoff, who looks more than perturbed in the ring.

 

STEVENS

Hoff...please, cut the *BEEP*.

 

The fans cheer! Hoff tilts his head and scowls at Stevens.

 

STEVENS

Listen to yourself. You'd think you're a five-time World Champion. All you are is a low-rent thug and a lackey.

 

The fans pop again, as Hoff mouths "I'm not a lackey!"

 

STEVENS

Hoff, I give you credit. You've come to the OAOAST and you've brought your A-game. You've won that title, and somehow you've kept it around your waist.

 

Stevens takes a few slow steps down the aisle.

 

STEVENS

But we both know that you could never beat me.

 

HOFF

The hell I couldn't!

 

STEVENS

The hell you could. Do I need to remind you of the way things were back at Northern Pro?

 

Hoff looks away sharply, and Stevens walks a little closer.

 

COLE

What is he talking about?

 

CABOOSE

I'm not sure!

 

STEVENS

All those times, night after night, when I pinned your shoulders to the mat--

 

HOFF

I BEAT YOU TOO!!

 

Stevens smiles and nods as he approaches the ring.

 

STEVENS

Yeah, that's right, you beat me. You took a lot from me, Hoff. You took a title that wasn't yours, just like the one over your shoulder.

 

Stevens slides into the ring as Hoff looks down at the 24/7 Title.

 

HOFF

Chris...you know as well as I do that I earned my spot back home.

 

STEVENS

Oh yeah, you earned it all right. You earned it through lying and kissing ass and stabbing me in the back.

 

Stevens steps up to Hoff, and the two lock eyes.

 

HOFF

Chris, I can't change the past, okay? What's done is done. We both had great careers back then--

 

STEVENS

GREAT CAREERS? Hoff, I was out on my ASS while you were on your second title reign!!

 

The two men go silent for a second.

 

COLE

Fans, we're not sure what all is going on here--

 

HOFF

Listen to me. What happened to you is sad, okay? But it wasn't my fault--

 

STEVENS

BULLSHIT.

 

HOFF

Listen, this isn't the time!!

 

STEVENS

Yeah, you're right, Hoff. This isn't the time. Here and now, this isn't about what happeend back then. This is about that title right there.

 

Chris Stevens points at the 24/7 belt, and Hoff backs off.

 

HOFF

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, hold on there, this belt is retired!

 

The crowd boos.

 

STEVENS

Yeah, I heard you. But guess what? Someone is stepping up to the plate.

 

Hoff looks back at Stevens, then BEHIND Stevens.

 

HOFF

Who? I don't see anyone--

 

Stevens grabs Hoff's chin and turns Hoff's head to face his own.

 

COLE

Oh my, this is explosive!

 

STEVENS

I want a title shot. Tonight. NOW.

 

Hoff looks down at his belt...and then back at Stevens.

 

HOFF

All right, Chris. I'll fight you........but not tonight.

 

Hoff turns away as Stevens glares.

 

HOFF

You see, it's just that I got all these injuries, I mean, I'm not at 100%, and I know you wouldn't want to fight a man who isn't--

 

*BAM!!!!!!*

 

COLE

Oh my God, Stevens just floored Hoff with a big right hand!

 

CABOOSE

Oh man, Hoff, get out of there!!

 

Hoff hits the ground, dropping his belt and his scepter as the 24/7 Title falls to the ground as well!! Hoff rolls out of the ring, but Stevens follows him out! Hoff staggers away, but Stevens grabs his robe and yanks him down from behind!

 

CABOOSE

NO!! That's his ceremonial robe!!

 

The fans are ecstatic as Stevens rips the robe clean off of Hoff's shoulders and throws it to the ground! Hoff crawls away, but Stevens catches him and pulls him up before stunning him with another big right hand!! Meanwhile, a referee slides into the ring and grabs the 24/7 title, handing it to the timekeeper who rings the bell!

 

CABOOSE

WHAT?! NO!! This can't be!!!

 

COLE

It's the 24/7 Title, Caboose! It's ALWAYS on the line!! Just like when Hoff stole it from Crystal!

 

CABOOSE

Aw, bollocks! Come on Hoff!!

 

Hoff again tries to run, but Stevens grabs him and slams him into the French announcer's table!!

 

COACH

NO!! The poor French announce table!

 

CABOOSE

Those poor frogs, and that poor Hoff! Come on big daddy, get away!! RUN!!

 

Hoff reels after the blow, turning back to Stevens who grabs him and delivers a European uppercut! Hoff staggers back into the table, and Stevens clotheslines him onto it! The fans cheer as Stevens climbs onto the table as well! Stevens mounts Hoff and begins laying into him with a flurry of fists!

 

COACH

It's a brawl!!

 

The referee closes in on the action, trying to get the men off the table! Finally, Hoff powers out, dumping Stevens into the laps of the French announcers! Hoff gets to his knees as Stevens gets to the floor, but Stevens is able to catch Hoff with a quick jab to the face! Stevens climbs back onto the table and grabs Hoff!

 

COLE

Oh my, this is a dangerous place for both these men, but especially Hoff!

 

CABOOSE

Oh I know...come on Hoff, get out of there!!

 

Stevens grabs Hoff in a standing headscissors, shouting out to the fans who cheer! Stevens bends downa nd grabs Hoff around the waist!

 

COLE

Stevens looking for a piledriver or a powerbomb, maybe?

 

Stevens rears back, but Hoff won't turn! Stevens lets go and clubs Hoff across the back of the neck! Hoff sinks to his knees, and Stevens grabs him again...but Hoff hits him with a low blow!!

 

COLE

Aw, come on!

 

Stevens sinks to HIS knees as Hoff shakes his head clear. Hoff stands up as the crowd's cheers turn to boos, but Hoff only smiles.

 

COACH

Oh, I don't like this, not one bit.

 

CABOOSE

I love it! Come on Hoff, teach him a lesson!

 

Hoff towers over Stevens, smiling down with a sick grin before pulling Stevens to his feet. Hoff holds him by the hair, shaking his head before looking out to the crowd. Hoff turns back -- and Stevens catches him with a right to the jaw!

 

COACH

Ooh!

 

Stevens snaps off another right, and another! Stevens rears back, and throws a BIG right hook, but Hoff ducks the blow! Hoff catches Stevens around the neck!!

 

COLE

NO!! Oh, no!! Hoff--- OH MY!!

 

Hoff grabs Stevens and DRILLS him with a ROCK BOTTOM THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

 

CABOOSE

YES!! Aww I KNEW he wasn't in trouble!!

 

The fans begin chanting "holy shit" as Hoff rolls off of the rubble and gets slowly to his feet. Hoff staggers a step back, looking down at Stevens lying in what remains of the table, then looks up, raising one arm into the air as the fans let him have it.

 

COLE

Hoff hit Stevens with a HUGE, KING-SIZED Rock Bottom through the table!

 

CABOOSE

Not just king-sized, Cole, EMPEROR-SIZED!!

 

Hoff looks down at Stevens, and his grin spreads wide as he bends down.

 

COLE

Oh no. What is Hoff thinking now?

 

CABOOSE

He's gonna make Chris Stevens pay for messing up his ceremony!

 

Hoff grabs Stevens by the hair and picks him up. Hoff yells something into his face, then rolls him into the ring!

 

COACH

There is something we don't know here, something awfully personal.

 

COLE

Absolutely, and hopefully we can get more info next week, but let's stay with this wek for now! We still have a 24/7 title match going!

 

Hoff climbs into the ring after Stevens, standing up over him. Stevens gets to his feet slowly, facing the turnbuckle, and Hoff grabs him from behind and drops him with a back suplex! Hoff pops to his feet and smiles down, before heading to his dropped scepter.

 

COLE

Now, wait, what does he plan to do with that!

 

CABOOSE

I'll give you a hint: in probably involves bashing it over SOMEONE's head!

 

Hoff picks his scepter up off the mat and turns back to Stevens, who is slowly climbing to his knees. Hoff looks, measures, and smashes a HUGE blow to the lower back of Stevens! Stevens cringes and falls to his stomach. Hoff hoists the scepter high above his head, and brings it crashing down again!!

 

COACH

This is brutal! Although it's nice to see some use for the scepter. You know, those are largely ornamental.

 

CABOOSE

Much like your brain, Coach.

 

COACH

*drooool*

 

Stevens grasps at his back, and the fans drown Hoff in boos as he throws the scepter out of the ring. Hoff struts over to Stevens, picking him up off the mat.

 

COLE

What else does he need to do here?

 

Hoff grabs Stevens, whips him off the ropes, and catches him with a SPINEBUSTER~!

 

CABOOSE

Oh yeah!! There we go, it's over!!

 

Hoff smiles, then positions himself behind Stevens, waving him up off the mat...as a cheer goes up in the audience!

 

COACH

What's that about? Why are the fans cheering?

 

CABOOSE

They recognize greatness!! Come on, Hoff, finish him!

 

Hoff looks around him and smiles, nodding to the crowd's approval. Suddenly, a large man comes out from the crowd!

 

COLE

What the-- WAIT! IT'S GUNNER SHARPS!!

 

COACH

What, hey!! There he is!!

 

CABOOSE

NO! IT CAN'T BE!!

 

COLE

IT IS!!!

 

Hoff keeps waving Stevens up, as Chris uses the ropes to climb up to his knees! Meanwhile, Gunner blows past security and slides in the ring!! The fans are buzzing, and Hoff's grin gets even bigger...before his eyes go wide!! The smile quickly fades as Hoff looks horrorstruck! Hoff turns around....

 

AND GETS SPEARED OUT OF HIS BOOTS!!!!

 

COLE

SHARP END!! SHARP END BY GUNNER!!

 

Gunner pops up and looks down at Hoff, shouting a stream of curses as Hoff grabs his midsection!

 

CABOOSE

Come on, Stevens should be disqualified!

 

COLE

The ref is letting it go! It's the 24/7 Title!

 

Gunner hops out of the ring, raising both arms into the air as the fans explode! Hoff rolls around on the mat...as Stevens find his feet!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no, I forgot about Chris Stevens!! Hoff, GET OUT OF THERE!!

 

Gunner looks on at ringside, shouting at Stevens! Stevens surveys the damage...and heads to the apron!! Stevens climbs up the ropes!

 

COLE

YES Stevens is gonna hit the big Frog Splash on Hoff!

 

COACH

If he does hit it, it'll be all over!!

 

CABOOSE

No, no, no! Hoff...move!!!

 

Stevens stands upright and looks down at Hoff, and jumps.....and HITS THE FROG SPLASH!!!!

 

CABOOSE

NOOOOOOOO!!!! Not like this!!

 

The ref makes the cover as the fans, and Gunner, count along!

 

ONE!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!

 

THE FANS EXPLODE!!

 

*ding ding ding ding ding*

 

CABOOSE

NO!!

 

COLE

YES!! He did it!!

 

CABOOSE

NO, NO, NO!!

 

Stevens rolls off of Hoff and gets to his feet as the crowd gives him a standing ovation!!!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout, and your NEW twenty-four-seveeeen champiooon......CHRRRISSS STEEEEVENS!!!

 

"Bound for the Floor" kicks in as the referee hands Chris Stevens the 24/7 Title, and Stevens hoists it high into the air!! The fans cheer, and Gunner points both fingers at him, smiling and nodding as he heads behind the curtain.

 

CABOOSE

This wasn't supposed to happen like this, it was supposed to be Hoff's big night!

 

COLE

Well it wasn't! We've got a new 24/7 Champion!

 

Chris Stevens rolls out of the ring, walking away backwards with a huge grin on his face!! In the ring, Hoff finally finds his feet, looking back at Stevens in shock and anger! Hoff screams back at Stevens as the new champion says "I beat you, Hoff! I beat you!" Hoff shakes his head no, grabbing at his hair!!

 

COACH

What a turn of events we have just witnessed!

 

CABOOSE

I still can't believe it!

 

COLE

Well believe it! We have a NEW 24/7 champion!!

 

(Go to break)

 

(Return from break)

 

We cut to a shot of Hoff wandering the halls backstage.

 

HOFF

GUNNER!! STEVENS!! WHERE ARE YOU?

 

COLE

Hoff is ENRAGED!

 

CABOOSE

He has every right, after his title was STOLEN, not by one men, but two!

 

COLE

We thought Gunner Sharps was in the hospital, but he showed up here tonight and hit Hoff with the Sharp End, which led to the Frog Splash from Chris Stevens, which led to Stevens winning the 24/7 Title!

 

COACH

A hell of an upset, to be sure!

 

COLE

Well fans, we're getting word that the Board of Directors has decided to grant Hoff a rematch. Next week, it will be Chris Stevens versus Hoff for the 24/7 Championship!

 

COACH

That's a big announcement, but I think Hoff is more concerned with getting his hands on someone right now!

 

Hoff stalks around backstage, calling for Gunner Sharps and Chris Stevens,

 

HOFF

ONE OF YOU SONS OF BITCHES GET OUT HERE! YOU MOTHER--OOF!!

 

Gunner surprises Hoff as he rounds a corner, driving him backwards into a wall!

 

COACH

Looks like Gunner found Hoff first!

 

Gunner begins throwing wild haymakers at Hoff, but Hoff pushes away off the wall, and the two men fall to the floor! Gunner is on top of Hoff, then Hoff on top of Gunner! The two men roll around before getting back to their feet!! Gunner throws a punch, but Hoff blocks it and grabs Gunner, throwing him headfirst into a wall!!

 

COLE

Oh no! Gunner took a lot of damage to his cranium this weekend!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, get him Hoff!

 

Gunner staggers back, holding his head and cringing. Hoff spins him around, but Gunner hits him with a big right cross!! Hoff goes down and Gunner pounces on him!!

 

CABOOSE

WHAT?!

 

COACH

Gunner's not going down so easy!

 

Gunner begins pounding away at Hoff, until security arrives on the scene! It takes foru men, but they finally pull Gunner off of Hoff! Hoff gets up...then LUNGES at Gunner, but security grabs him as well!

 

HOFF

YOU *BEEP*!! YOU COST ME MY TITLE!!

 

GUNNER

*BEEEP* YOU, YOU *BEEEEEEEEP*!!! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR *BEEP*ING ASS!!!

 

COACH

Wow!!

 

Security pulls the two men apart as they hurl curses at each other.

 

COLE

This thing is far, FAR from over!

 

(Go to house show ads)

 

(Return from ads)

 

We come back to a shot of a tattoo, a letter X that is bleeding. The camera pans out to see AXEL sitting in the corner of a room, hands on knees, looking straight at the camera. He has his leather coat and black tights on. Axel takes a deep breath in as he starts to address the crowd.

 

AXEL

Welcome to my World.

 

The crowd pops at Axel’s old opening line and The Dark One pauses again to hear the fans adulation.

 

AXEL

Over the last two months, I’ve been somewhere that I knew no one would find me in the OAOAST. I’ve went back home, I went back to Australia. In Australia, I made a few changes. I went back to my roots; I went back to my very first promotion, PCW. I trained there, and I saw my mentor. I saw my family, and I mended a few bridges. But as I sat there at home and saw Zack Malibu and his Thrillogy terrorise the people who I once called my greatest friends… my family, I couldn’t take it. You see, when I went away, I was starting to cleanse my mind. I was trying to right all the wrongs, fix all my problems, mentally and physically. Australia helped me cleanse those problems, right those wrongs. I had a disease, a sickness, and it was the very darkness, the very essence of who I had become in the OAOAST. I was able to cure myself without taking away any of the qualities that made Axel, Axel. I was ready to pack up, I was ready to dismiss wrestling, I was ready to give my life up. But then I saw something that almost bought the sickness back to me, the image of a man who I once considered to be one of my best friends, AJ Flaire, getting his back broken by Hoff.

 

The crowd boos at this, and Axel continues straight away.

 

AXEL

So, I came back here. I didn’t tell anyone in this company that I was coming back, I didn’t tell Gunner, and I certainly didn’t tell Crystal. Now, to address each of those individually. Gunner Sharps, while we may never be friends like we were, and while we won’t ever trust each other, and why the fuck would we, I will be there, watching your back, like I was last night. I saw you get attacked, and I couldn’t go without carrying on what you wanted to do, destroying Hoff. You may like to know that I did visit AJ when you weren’t there, and I mended fences with him as well. I also told him I was coming back, and he gave me his best wishes. Now, on to Crystal, the Female Phenom.

 

Another pop at the mention of Crystal’s name.

 

AXEL

Crystal, you were the only person that ever understood the old Axel. I came back partly for your sake, as it was hard to see you get beaten down night after night by the Thrillogy. Now you may not like it, and you may not ever thank me, but I don’t care. If you want to mend fences, you can mend them. As far as I’m concerned, you want nothing to do with me because of what I have done previously, and that’s fine. But I am still going to be there whenever you are in trouble.

 

Axel stands up out of the corner and walks a few paces forward, developing a smile on his face.

 

AXEL

The Thrillogy. People are quick to call them the greatest team ever assembled, but I am going to dispute that claim, and dismiss it as out and out bullshit. Firstly, Calvin Szechstein. People like to conveniently forget who the first man was to defeat Calvin Szechstein when he was crowned the OAOAST Champion. That man was me. The thing is, everyone called it a fluke, but the fact of the matter is that I hung with the Champ one on one. And that was back when I was a green rookie here in the OAOAST. No wonder Calvin never wanted to give me a title shot, he was running scared. He knew that I could beat him, and he didn’t want to lose the gold. Calvin, to you I say this: I want to beat you again. I couldn’t give a fuck that you don’t have the belt anymore, but I want to DESTROY YOU. You have held me down, and shrugged me off as just another mid-card talent. Well guess what? I am coming for you Calvin, you put me in a casket, so I’ll put you SIX FEET FUCKING UNDER. You manipulated me last year when I was new to this company; you used me as a pawn. I will now use you to my advantage, think about that one.

 

Axel’s smile turns to a frown as he again looks directly into the camera.

 

AXEL

Now Hoff, the OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Champion. A belt that I have held on one occasion. Hoff, you say you’re the future. You talk a big game. Last night, you backed that game up, once. YOU THINK ONE VICTORY OVER ME MAKES YOU A LEGEND? YOU THINK BREAKING A DEFENSELESS BOY’S BACK MAKES YOU A WRESTLING GOD? YOU IGNORANT SON OF A BITCH! One high-profile victory gives you NOTHING. One year ago I defeated The Mad Cappa to win the Revolution Trophy, and you know what happened two weeks later? I was a lackey of the Champion’s. Now you had a head start, you were Zack’s bitch before you won the Deathmatch Tournament! You think you will get anywhere in this company if you are friends with the Champion? You will NEVER get a shot at the gold, because you are considered below the Champion, a lackey, an add on. You got talent kid, but you don’t have the intelligence to handle that talent yet. A wise man once said to me “There is what we can do now, but then there is potential. Think of it like a grain of sand in an ocean of potential, potential is endless”. You have an ocean of potential, like I once did. But it is only when you develop the intelligence to fulfill that potential that you will be considered ‘great’. As for breaking AJ’s back, well, I think Gunner will take care of that, so I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Hey Hoff, you can’t wrestle in a hospital bed – ask AJ. Two down… one to go. This one is my favourite.

 

Axel regains his smile as he backs against the wall of the room.

 

AXEL

The OAOAST Worlds Heavyweight Champion, and the leader of the Thrillogy. The Franchise of the OAOAST, and the savior of HeldDown. The People’s Champion, the man to beat, the main man… the man that I have beaten. The man who betrayed his fans, his friends, his company. The man who holds all the cards, but is too blind to see that even with all the cards, he isn’t smart enough to win the game. You see Zackary; you talk the biggest game of anyone around here. Week after week I have watched you come out here and proclaim yourself the greatest thing to ever happen to this company, and the greatest thing to ever happen to wrestling. You shit on about how you can’t be beaten, how you deserve respect, and you piss and moan about how no one gives you the respect that you deserve. Well Zackary, I’ve got a wake up call for you. You don’t even know what you are doing. You don’t know what everyone here is capable of; you are quick to write off the roster as below you. But we know better, don’t we Zackary. I know just how paranoid you really are. I’ve been watching you Zackary, I’ve been studying you. You’re paranoid, you’re scared, and above all, you’re very very unintelligent. When you thought you threw me off the stage in that casket, you had no idea where I was. You write off Crystal as a pretender to the throne, but you know deep down that she can beat you, that she can beat anyone she wants to. Hell, she beat me once, so obviously she can beat anyone. You put on a very brave face out there in front of the people, but your stomach is in knots and your mind is always thinking about that the fact that someone could come out to the ring and challenge you, and you could be losing that belt tonight. Like another multiple champion in another federation, that belt is your life, you are nothing without it. Which is exactly why you are going to lose it, because you obsess over it. I’m not going after your belt; I’ll leave that to Crystal. But rest assured Zackary, when that issue with Crystal is over and she has the better of you, I’ll be there, and I’ll beat you again. Remember this Zack – you have never beaten me. We’ve only faced each other in one match, and I pinned you. I can do it again. Remember that. So Thrillogy, watch your backs, because I’m back for good, and I’m back to destroy the myth of the greatest group of all time. Oh…

 

 

Axel’s smile grows wider, and he puts his arms up into the crucifix pose.

 

AXEL

…and I bought a friend.

 

The picture fades out as we go back to a wide shot of the ring.

 

COLE

Interesting comments there from Axel, but he left us with a lot to ponder… who is the friend?

 

COACH

Outback Jack? Nathan Jones?

 

CABOOSE

Well Axel talks a big game too guys, he isn’t everything he thinks he is.

 

COLE

I beg to differ Caboose, Axel was right about most things. He has beaten Calvin Szechstein one on one, and he does hold a pinfall victory over Zack Malibu. How many guys can say that? In any event, we still have more great action coming up for you here on HeldDown!

 

(Go to break)

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The arena lights drop as "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system. After approximately 5 seconds...

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*

 

...a HUUUUGE pyro blast goes off on stage. Flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena, roaming the crowd momentarily before converging on stage, where a dark figure appears through a thick cloud of smoke. There stands Panther, clad in his trademark "Panther 215" basketball jersey and matching shorts (black with red trim), with a red bandana tied around his head. There's noticable bruising at his left cheek, along his neck, and on his arms--all the result of his encounter with THE HAND~! at LTP. Still, that isn't enough to keep a smile off of Panther's face as he walks towards the edge of the stage and awaits the cue in his music. As the horns begin to blare in the background, Panther raises his arms high above his head, holding the pose momentarily as bright white spotlights illuminate his frame and the entrance behind him. He then snaps his arms down by his sides, and the spotlights disperse about the arena. Panther flashes an anxious smile into the crowd as he starts down the ramp towards the ring.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for ONE FALL and has a 30-minute time limit. Introducing first...He hails from the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, PA, and he weighs in tonight at 194 pounds. With nearly 8 years of pro wrestling experience, this man is known across the globe as the Champion of Champions...ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...PAAAAAAAANTHHERRRR~!

 

The crowd pop is huge as Panther approaches the base of the ramp and looks around the arena. He points out a sign in the crowd that reads "Panther will dim the Bryteness" before hopping upon the apron and stepping into the ring. He walks out to the center of the ring, sending both Buffer and referee Earl Hebner to a corner as he turns to the main camera and takes stance, with a look of intensity in his eyes. The horns begin to blare once more as the arena goes black once again, with white spotlights roaming the crowd to the beat of the music. The spotlights get brighter...and brighter...and brighter before converging on the center of the ring, where Panther snaps his right fist into the air and pyro explodes from all four ringposts. The flashing red and white lights return as Panther walks forward and climbs the ropes, inciting cheers from the crowd as he slaps his chest and raises his right arm into the air.

 

COLE

What a response here in Fresno for Panther! His official HeldDOWN match since April and what a way to return, as tonight, Panther gets a shot at the man he hates more than probably anyone on the face of this earth, Chris Bryte! Of course, fans, Panther's coming off that epic encounter from License to Pin this past Sunday night, where he was victorious over The Hand. The Board of Directors added a stipulation to the contract for that match, which gave Panther the right to face Chris Bryte on anytime or anywhere. Panther chose tonight, hence the match we are about to witness, and what a war it should be.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but this is a really dumb move by Panther. I mean...why tonight, of all nights? I mean, just look at him. He's battered! He's bruised! He hasn't fully recovered from the beating he took from The Hand at License to Pin, so why choose to face the man tonight?

 

COLE

You've gotta understand, 'Boose, that Panther's been itching to get his hands on Bryte for months. Bryte's done so much to Panther...he's gotten so far under his skin that Panther could wait no longer, and he wants to get his hands on Bryte tonight. He wants to end this as soon as possible! He wants to end Chris Bryte's career tonight!

 

The lights return to normal as Panther sits atop a turnbuckle, gazing at the entrance with baited breath. Suddenly, we cut backstage--just at the "Gorilla" position--where we see Chris Bryte pacing back and forth with a silver cell phone held up against his right ear. He looks SCARED TO DEATH; his teeth chatter and he's trembling terribly as he speaks into the phone.

 

BRYTE

(voice cracking) Oh my God! Oh my God...how could this be happening?! How could...NO, YOU LISTEN, UNCLE KEV!! It was your bright idea that got me in this mess to begin with! YOU SAID THE PLAN WAS FOOL-PROOF!!!! YOU SAID THAT THE HAND WOULD GET THE JOB DONE AND I'D NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH PANTHER AGAIN! That big...(sighs), and where is he now?! Huh? He's laid up in a hospital...he lost an eye...(sobs) oh, Uncle Kev! What if he does to me what he did to The Hand?! I don't wanna lose an eye, Uncle Kev! I LIKE MY EYES! ("Uncle Kev" speaks) Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say! ("Uncle Kev" speaks again) Yeah...yeah...well...I've gotta go, Unc. Look, I'll call ya if I need ya. Ok? Ok!

 

And with that, Bryte flips his phone shut and looks towards the heavens. He crosses his heart and says a silent prayer, as "State Prop (You Know Us)" dies down. We cut back out to the arena, where Panther and the fans--unaware of what's just taken place backstage--eagerly away Bryte's arrival. A dim blue hue falls over the arena as "It's Goin' Down" hits the PA system. White strobe lights flash at the entrance, and the crowd begins to boo in the background.

 

Watch them flee...

 

Watch them flee...

 

Wa-Wa-Wa them flee! [hip hop hits]

 

*Scratch**Scratch**

 

And you do it like this!

 

A roar of boos comes up from the crowd as Chris Bryte appears on stage; the cell phone is in his right hand, and he's now wearing his trademark shades. Bryte's cautiously steps towards the top of the ramp, forcing a smile in an effort to hide his pre-match apprehension. He shouts obscenities at some ringside fans before starting down to the ring.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent for this evening...he hails from Topeka, Kansas and weighs in tonight at 175 pounds. He is the man who--at The Year of Living Anglelously--drove Panther out of the OAOAST, and vows to do the same thing here tonight, eliminating him from professional wrestling once and for all. He is the self-proclaimed Brytest Rising Star in all of the OAOAST...here is CHRRRRISSS...BRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYTE!!!!

 

COACH

Is it just me, or does Bryte seem a little bit nervous?

 

CABOOSE

It's just you.

 

COLE

Chris Bryte...it's written all over him! You can see it in his body language! You could hear it in that phone conversation with..."Uncle Kev"...

 

COACH

Who that is, Cole? Who that is?

 

COLE

...I dunno. I'm not totally sure what to make of that conversation, but I can tell that Chris Bryte wants no part of Panther, guys!

 

CABOOSE

Of course he doesn't. Chris Bryte has already beaten this man! He's pinned him 3 times now...*FAIR AND SQUARE* might I add. He should not have to face Panther again...especially with the state of mind this idiot is in. OAOAST corporate needs to be ashamed of themselves for backing Chris Bryte into this situation.

 

Bryte rests his cell phone in a corner as Panther eyes him from the top turnbucle, the smile on his face a mile wide. Then, as Bryte slides into the ring, Panther hops down and goes straight at him, but Bryte grabs the ref by his shirt and pulls him into Panther's path. The crowd boos in the background as Bryte implores him to check Panther for weapons, and the official obliges.

 

CABOOSE

What? That's the proper procedure.

 

COLE

This appears to me to be an obvious attempt to delay the start of this match.

 

The referee pats Panther down, checking his gear, his knee pads, and the flats of his boots to ensure that he's brought no weapons into the ring.

 

REFEREE

He's clean!

 

Panther nods, and starts for Bryte again, but...

 

BRYTE

WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIT!

 

Bryte grabs the official once again and pulls him in between he and Panther, causing the crowd to boo. "Now do me," Bryte says, refering to the weapons check. Panther just rolls his eyes and laughs.

 

CABOOSE

You have got to admire the professionalism of Chris Bryte here. Doing what he can to make sure that this official is objective so that we can get a fair match. What a true sportsman.

 

COLE

Please.

 

The referee begins to pat Bryte down. He finds a pair of knucks stashed away in Bryte's tights (right by his right hip) and forces Bryte to get rid of them. Bryte does so and the official continues the pat down, finding a small chain stashed on the opposite side; Bryte's forced to get rid of that as well. He then moves down to the right knee pad...where he finds a sharpened pencil. He tosses that, then moves to the left, where he pulls out what appears to be an ether-soaked rag. He tosses it aside as the crowd's impatience starts to show.

 

CABOOSE

Quiet you idiots! This is important procedure!

 

Panther goes back into his corner and waits as the ref pulls a few more things from Bryte's knee pads, including a pair of floppy disks, a bag of thumbtacks, a paperclip, a tv remote control, and one of those long multi-colored clown hankerchiefs that (the ones that you just pull and pull and pull and seem to go on forever). The ref then checks Bryte's kick pads...finding steel plates in both. The referee removes them as chants of "FUCK HIM UP PAN-THER, FUCK HIM UP" start up in the background.

 

CABOOSE

These people in Fresno have no morals!

 

COLE

These people are growing impatience, and rightfully so.

 

CABOOSE

I can't believe you, Cole! Would you rather this match start without the check, and Bryte go into this match with an unfair advantage?

 

COLE

Well...no, but damn it, Bryte's just trying to stall! It's obvious!

 

After removing the metal plates, the ref finally gets to the flats of Bryte's boots, where two razors are stashed. He plucks them off of Bryte's boot and walks them over to a ringside attendent. He then approaches Bryte one last time, and gives him a final pat down to make sure he's got no more foreign objects.

 

REFEREE

He's clean!

 

The ref then turns towards the timekeeper and...

 

BRYTE

WAAAAAAAAAIIT!

 

...Bryte catches him by the arm just before he can signal for the bell, drawing MASSIVE heat from the crowd. "What about the National Anthem," he says. The ref shoves Bryte away, and tries to signal again, but Bryte again catches him by the hand. Bryte tries as best he can to hold the official in place, but to no avail, as the ref manages to break free and signal to the timekeeper to sound the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Bryte stomps the mat in frustration as Panther darts across the ring and bores right through him with a spear, bringing the crowd to its feet!

 

COLE

HE'S GOT HIM!!!!!! PANTHER'S GOT BRYTE!!!!! PANTHER'S GOT BRYTE! PANTHER'S FINALLY GOT HIS HANDS ON BRYTE!!!

 

Panther rains lefts and rights down upon his younger opponent, as all Bryte can do is throw up his forearms to try and cover up. Panther grabs Bryte by the hair and drags him back to a standing position, where he rips into him with an open-hand strike to the chest. Follows up with a hard right hand to the jaw. Irish whip by Panther sends Bryte into the ropes, but instead of rebounding, Bryte manages to hold on and slide to the outside, drawing the ire of the fans.

 

CABOOSE

Smart move, Chris! Smart move. Take a breather. Take these fans out of the match.

 

Chants of "Chris Bryte Sucks" echo throughout the arena, getting the rookie riled up on the outside. After a heated verbal exchange with a female Panther fan, Bryte grits his teeth, balls up his fists and slides back into the ring. He goes right for Panther, catching him off guard with a quick collar and elbow tie-up, and using that to force Panther backwards and pin him up against a corner. The referee quickly moves in, looking to separate the two.

 

REF

Break it up, Bryte; he's in the corner! C'mon...1...2...3...4...

 

Bryte breaks on 4, raising his opened palms into the air and gradually drawing away from Panther.

 

COLE

Bryte with the break. Will it be a clean one?

 

CABOOSE

Of course.

 

Bryte nods to the ref...then nails Panther with a reverse knife-edge to the chest, to which Panther IMMEDIATELY responds with a hard right hand, knocking Bryte for a loop. Panther moves in on him, but Bryte quickly manages to slip back out to the floor, getting more heat from the crowd.

 

COLE

For the love of God! C'mon!

 

Panther rolls his eyes as Bryte rushes over to the corner and grabs his cell phone. He flips it open and begins to dial.

 

COACH

Who the hell is he calling?

 

COLE

I dunno, but this is getting ridiculous. Chris Bryte stalling once again--now on his cell phone...

 

Panther's had enough. To a positive reaction from the fans, he slides out to the floor, walks over to the timekeeper's table and snatches a chair. He then starts towards Bryte with sinister intentions.

 

CABOOSE

Oh c'non, now! *This* is ridiculous!

 

COLE

Panther's got that steel chair! Panther's going after Bryte.

 

Bryte is preoccupied with the phone and doesn't see Panther approaching from behind with the chair. The crowd clamors as Panther comes up from behind, rears back, and...

 

 

...AT THE LAST SECOND, the ref reaches through the ropes and catches the edge of the chair, preventing Panther from following through. The crowd's boos lead Bryte to turn around, where he comes face-to-face with Panther on the floor. Bryte fires off a right hand to the head, but Panther staggers him with a right og his own! A second! A third! One more sends Bryte on the run as he starts around the ring to create some distance between he and Panther. Panther's hot on his trail, though, and chases Bryte around to the opposite side of the ring, where Bryte slides back into the ring. Panther starts to do the same, but changes his plans when Bryte turns and tries to pounce him.

 

COACH

Panther's way too smart to fall for that old trick!

 

Instead, Panther reaches under the bottom rope and takes Bryte's right leg out from under him, causing him to fall flat on his back. Panther then yanks him forward and slams the back of Bryte's leg across the lip of the apron, causing him to cry out in pain. Panther does it a second time. Bryte pulls away and crawls back out to the center of the ring. Panther then slides back into the ring, and when Bryte returns to his feet, Panther comes up from behind and hits a chop block to the back of the knee. The crowd cheers wildly as Panther grabs hold of Bryte right leg, yanks on it to hyperextend it, then drives an elbow right into the crook of his knee. He does it a second time! A third! A fourth, and the crowd is going wild!

 

COLE

Panther's going after the legs now!

 

COACH

I like this move by Panther. Bryte can't run if he's got no legs!

 

Panther drives both his knees into Bryte's knee, grabs the heel and toe of Bryte's right boot and begins to pull upwards, twisting Bryte's knee in the process. Bryte winces in pain as he looks for a way of escape. He fires off a kick to the middle of Panther's back. He fires off a second. Bryte then turns into the hold and rolls onto his stomach, allowing him to kick Panther right in his bruised cheek, causing the break. Panther climbs back to his feet and moves back in on Bryte, but catches a short jab to the gut for his troubles. Bryte then nails Panther with a palm strike uppercut that sends him staggering back into the ropes. Back to a standing position, Bryte arrogantly raises his arms into the air before charging at him with a full head of steam, only to be backdropped over the top rope and to the outside. Bryte's body smacks hard off the ringside mats, and the crowd gives Panther a huge ovation as he raises his right fist into the air.

 

CABOOSE

He tossed Bryte over the top rope! DQ! DQ!

 

COLE

Please. Panther sending Bryte up and over...wait a minute.

 

On the outside, Bryte tries to stand, but his knee buckles under him, and he falls to the ground in pain. Bryte clutches at his right knee, doing the RVD sell ("OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!") while pointing at it, making sure to draw the ref's attention to it. Panther walks over to the ropes and starts to step through, but the ref grabs him by the waist and prevents him from going to the outside.

 

REFEREE (to Panther)

I think he's hurt.

 

The ref moves Panther out to the center of the ring and then walks back over to the ropes to check on Bryte's condition. "My knee's gone! My Knee's gone!", says Bryte.

 

COACH

What the hell does he mean his knee's gone? I can see it right there plain as day!

 

Bryte slowly pulls himself back to his feet with an expression of pain on his face as he clutches at his knee. When Bryte reaches his feet, Panther makes another go for him, but the referee grabs him once again and prevents him from going after Bryte.

 

COLE

Chris Bryte has apparently suffered an injury.

 

CABOOSE

That's sad! I hope it doesn't mean they'll have to stop he match.

 

COLE

Yeah. I'm sure Bryte'd just hate that.

 

Bryte begins limping around the ringside area as the referee tries to keep Panther at bay. The ref looks over to Bryte on the outside, then turns back to Panther to try and calm him down. The second the referee's back is turned, Bryte sticks his tongue out at Panther AND STARTS DOING THE RIVERDANCE! The crowd boos wildly in the background.

 

COLE

HEY! LOOK AT BRYTE!

 

Panther tries to get at Bryte, calling the ref's attentions to the scene on the outside, but when the ref turns around, Bryte starts selling the knee again.

 

CABOOSE

What about Bryte?

 

COLE

Did you see that?! There's nothing wrong with his knee!

 

CABOOSE

What do you mean there's nothing wrong! The man's limping! Would the man be limping if he wasn't hurt?

 

Panther makes another go for Bryte, but the ref grabs him around the waist to stop him. Again, with the ref preocupied with Panther, Bryte begins to taunt him again, hopping up and down on his "injured" leg without trouble. Panther is PISSED!

 

COLE

There! He's doing it again! He's--

 

The ref turns back around, and Bryte's selling again.

 

CABOOSE

What are you babbling about, Cole!

 

COLE

On the floor...Chris Bryte was just...he was...

 

CABOOSE

HE'S INJURED! Look, Cole: Chris Bryte is in enough pain right now without having you cast aspersions on him.

 

Chants of "BULLSHIT" start up in the crowd as Bryte sighs as says to the official "I don't think I can go on"! Panther looks ready to explode as Bryte--with a sombre look on his face--turns and starts limping up the ramp towards the locker room. Panther struggles to free himself from the ref's grasp as Bryte--with the official safely out of position--begins to smile. That smile quickly fades away, however, as Bryte looks towards the entrance.

 

CABOOSE

What's he...what...OH NO! NO! REFEREE!

 

Bryte's jaw drops and the crowd pops in the background as Tina emerges from the locker room. She has a sinister smile on her face as she eyes Bryte while repeatedly slapping a blood red crowbar against the palm of her left hand. Bryte practically bursts into tears.

 

COLE

Tina's on her way out here with that crowbar...

 

CABOOSE

No fair! She's not apart of this match! She'sgot no business being out here!

 

COACH

That's the same crowbar Panther used on The Hand at the PPV, isn't it?

 

It is, and as Tina approaches Bryte with said crowbar, he begins to backpedal. Bryte extends his open hands forward and begins flailing them wildly, desperately trying to reason with Tina. Suddenly--as he nears the bottom of the ramp--Bryte trips and falls rolls backwards onto his stomach. With Tina drawing closer and closer, Bryte springs back to his feet and darts towards the ring; unfortunately, he forgets to sell the knee, and as a result, he gets caught by the official! Realizing his mistake, Bryte immediately begins to sell again (WRONG KNEE, FOOL!), but the ref doesn't buy it, and he waves Panther on. Bryte yells "DAMN IT!" as Panther charges forward and clears the top rope, connecting with a beautifully executed corkscrew plancha. Both men land on the ground, as Panther begins hammering away once more with piston-like right hands to Bryte's forehead. Panther stands and motions for Bryte to "get up", and when he does, Panther sends him right back down with a hard right hook. Bryte pops right back to his feet, only to be floored with anothe right. Bryte pops up once more--dazed--at which point Panther grabs him by the hair and tosses him into the ring. Panther takes a moment to send a kiss Tina's way before heading into the ring himself, where he charges the now standing Chris Bryte. Bryte tries for a double knife edge, but Panther ducks under and runs into the ropes. Bryte tries to catch him with a spinning roundhouse coming off, but Panther ducks under that and heads to the opposite side. This time, Bryte ducks the head as Panther comes off, allowing Panther to turn around and roll over his back--OH NO!

 

COLE

BRYTE SIDE!!! HE'S GOT HIM HOOKED FOR THE BRYTE SIDE!

 

Indeed! Bryte manages to hook Panther's arms and turn him upside down into Vertebreaker position, but Panther kicks his legs wildly and manages to roll off back to a kneeling position on the canvas. The crowd breathes as sigh of relief as Bryte...well...begins to celebrate!

 

BRYTE

WHOOOOOO~! I almost got him! I almost got him!

 

Bryte leaps into the air and pumps his right fist, holding his thumb and index finger close together to indicate that he was THAAAAAT CLOSE! Bryte turns back to face Panther, who flashes a smile...

 

*WHAM*

 

...before nearly taking his head off with a HARD clothesline. Bryte gets back to his feet, only to get mowed down by another clothesline from Panther. Bryte returns to his feet once again and walks into a single leg takedown from Panther. The crowd begins to stir in the background as Panther tucks Bryte's right leg under his left armpit.

 

COLE

Panther...looks like he could be setting up for a half crab...

 

*CRACK*

 

OH! But Bryte counters, catching him with a HARD heel kick to the top of the head. He follows up with a second...a third...then wraps his legs around Panther's head, pulling him over into a triangle choke.

 

COLE

Triangle choke! Bryte's got him hooked for a triangle choke.

 

But he doesn't have it locked in well. Panther manages to get his right arm free, and begins hammering Bryte with forearm shots to the back of the knee, forcing him to release the scissors. Panther then grabs Bryte's left ankle and shoves it forwards, sending Bryte rolling back to a standing position, where he nails Panther with a HARD slap! Panther responds! Bryte! Panther! Bryte! Panther! It's a VICIOUS exchange of slaps that ends when Panther grabs Bryte in a side headlock. He doesn't hold onto it for long, though, as Bryte shoves him forward into the ropes. Bryte drops down as Panther comes off, and he leaps up and over to the other side. This time, Bryte leap frogs over Panther as he comes off, and immediately falls to the mat upon landing, sticking his legs into the air, hoping to catch Panther coming off with a monkey flip. Panther has it well-scouted, though, and manages to dives up over Bryte's legs, rolling back to his feet upon landing. Bryte's back up shortly after, and he makes a charge at Panther, only to be sidestepped and sent towards the ropes. Bryte has the presence of mind to leap onto the second rope, however, and springboards off, sending a twisting roundhouse right at Panther's head. Panther manages to duck under, though, and when Bryte lands, Panther comes up from behind and grabs a rear waistlock. The crowd clamors in the background.

 

COACH

He's going for the German...

 

BUT IT'S BLOCKED! Panther pounds Bryte with HARD forearms to the back of the neck, but two reverse elbows from the brash rookie cause him to release his grip. At this point, Bryte grabs a handful of Panther's hair and charges forward, sending him up and over the top rope! Bryte turns to celebrate to the crowd--not realizing that Panther caught the top rope and managed to land on the apron.

 

CABOOSE

Turn around, Chris! Turn around! He's still there!

 

Bryte turns and spots Panther, and the elation in his face slowly transforms to a look of fury. Bryte charges forward, shooting his head and shoulders through the ropes for a spear, but Panther sidesteps him...

 

*CRACK*

 

...and blasts him with a HARD kneelift right to the jaw!

 

*CRACK*

 

A second sends Bryte slumping down across the middle rope. With Bryte in trouble, Panther pulls back on the top rope and propels himself into the ring, landing on Bryte's back in a piggyback position. He then reaches down and pulls Bryte up by the hair--with his neck bent backwards over the top rope--and hooks him for a modified dragon clutch! The crowd goes crazy as Panther wrenches back on Bryte!

 

COLE

Truth Infection! Panther's got a modified Truth Infection applied to Chris Bryte!

 

But Bryte's in the ropes, and the referee admonishes Panther.

 

REFEREE

C'mon, Panther, BREAK IT UP! 1...2...3...4...

 

Panther releases on four, and backs out to the center of the ring with a cocky smirk on his face. Bryte clutches the back of his neck as he backs away from the ropes...

 

...and right into a rear waistlock, as Panther takes him up and over with a BIIIIIG German Suplex, dumping him right onto the back of his head. Panther pops right back to his feet, AND...

 

COLE & COACH

HE'S FIRED UP, DAMN IT~!

 

YES!

 

CABOOSE

NO!

 

Bryte slowly pulls himself back to his feet--still feeling the effects of the German--and when he reaches a vertical base, Panther slips behind him, grabs him once again and FOLDS HIM UP with another German, taking him over with such force that he rolls over twice and lands in a seated position, with the back of his head rested against the bottom turnbuckle. The crowd is electric as adrenaline surges through Panther's veins, and as Tina plays cheerleader from the arena floor, Panther turns to Bryte one more time and tells him to "get up." "NOOOOOOOO," says Bryte, doing his best Ric Flair imitation. Panther's having none of that, though, and he walks over to him and drags him to his feet by the hair. Panther grabs a side headlock and muscles Bryte out to the center of the ring, but Bryte manages to shove off, sending Panther crashing sternum first into the opposite corner. Panther clutches at his chest as Bryte starts to measure him, slapping his right thigh as he waits for Panther to turn around. When he does, Bryte charges at Panther with a Yakuza Kick that misses! Panther comes right back with a superkick, but Bryte ducks under that! Bryte fires another kick Panther's way, but it's caught! Bryte's eyes open wide with surprise as Panther shoves the foot down and pulls him into a standing headscissors. The crowd starts to rise...

 

COLE

DA BOMB!

 

Bryte knows what's coming and falls flat to the canvas, but Panther drops down with him and begins pounding him with clubbing forearm shots to the small of the back. Panther manages to hook Bryte around the waist and muscle him back up into position for Da Bomb, but when they reach their feet, Bryte rises and sends Panther over his head with a backdrop. Panther manages to hold on to Bryte's waist, however, and take him over sunset flip style...and roll him RIGHT BACK INTO POSITION FOR DA BOMB!

 

COLE

Panther is tenaciously trying to hit Bryte with Da Bomb!

 

But Bryte falls flat on the canvas again. Panther drops down once more, and begins pounding him with more forearm shots, but Bryte manages to slip away and slide out to the arena floor for a breather.

 

COACH

Bryte's lucky he got out of that one. If Panther's able to hit him with Da Bomb, this thing'll be over!

 

Bryte turns back towards the locker room (perhaps planning another escape), but is shocked to find Tina standing in his path. Bryte immediately flips out.

 

BRYTE

YOU BITCH!!! YOU NO GOOD BITCH!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!

 

Bryte takes a wild swing for Tina, but she ducks under and ROCKS him with a hard forearm shot to the jaw. Bryte holds his face for a moment, then charges Tina with a clothesline. Tina sees it coming and manages to run underneath, to the opposite side of the ring. When Bryte turns back to find her, Panther runs across the apron and catches Bryte with a Mysterio-style senton, to the crowd's delight. Sitting on Bryte's head and neck, Panther hammers down upon him with more right hands as Tina watches on with a smile on her face. Panther then drags Bryte back to his feet by his hair and nails him with a hard knee lift to the gut. Another one. Panther then grabs Bryte by the hair and the back of his trunks sends him crashing headfirst into the steel stairs, knocking the top layer of its hinges. Bryte clutches his head and neck and rolls over towards the guardrail, where Panther moves in and begins to choke him with the flat of his boot. Then, he uses a handful of hair to drag Bryte back to a standing position, where he pulls Bryte into a standing position. He pauses for a moment--savoring the crowd's reaction--before tossing Bryte's arm back over his head, and taking him over with a snap suplex on the arena floor. Bryte screams in pain as he clutches at his lower back.

 

COLE

Panther is taking Chris Bryte apart here, folks!

 

You can say that again!

 

COLE

Panther is taking Chris Bryte apart here, folks!

 

Um...right. Panther returns to his feet and shoots a glance Tina's direction, almost as if he's asking for her approval. Tina runs her hands through her hair and nods affirmatively, bringing another huge smile to Panther's face. As Bryte uses the guardrail to try and pull himself back to his feet, Panther starts pulling up the ringside mats, inciting another positive reaction from the capacity crowd.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! What the hell is he doing here?

 

COLE

I think I've got an idea. If you remember, a couple of months back, Chris Bryte gave Tina a brainbuster on the exposed concrete! I think Panther may try to return the favor here!

 

Panther's practically beaming is he walks over to Bryte, grabs him by the hair and drags him over to the exposed concrete, where he applies another front facelock. The referee climbs out to the apron and begins to admonish Panther, hoping to prevent him from doing the move (shouldn't he be counting, btw?!). Panther just laughs at him and tosses Bryte's arm back over his head. The crowd begins to cheer as Panther lifts him up--NO! Bryte blocks it, then catches Panther with a thrust to the throat. A second thrust causes Panther to release him, at which point, Bryte rolls him back into the ring to the crowd's dismay. Panther tries to catch his breath in the ring as Bryte pulls himself onto the apron and ascends the turnbuckles. However, when he reaches the top, Panther springs to his feet and shakes the top rope, causing Bryte to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle.

 

COLE

Bryte'll be singing for the Vienna Boy's Choir after that one! Eh, 'Boose?

 

CABOOSE

Ah...your momma wears army boots! Choke on that!

 

Panther moves in on Bryte and chops him hard in the chest, then sends him teetering backwards with a hard right hand to the jaw. Panther then starts climbing the ropes with Bryte...going ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP! Bryte tries to shove Panther off, but Panther nails him with two hard right hands to the face before hooking him suplex position. With the crowd on its feet, Panther hooks Bryte's right leg and brings him ALLLLL THE WAY DOWWWWN with a Pantherplex, with both men hitting the canvas with tremendous impact. Panther manages to keep Bryte hooked, though, and kips up into a bridge as the referee slides into position to count...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

NO!!!! Bryte gets the shoulder up!

 

COLE

Unbelievable! Bryte manages to kick out of the Pantherplex from the top! What a tremendous move that way by the Champ of Champs!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but give credit to Chris Bryte for being able to kick out!

 

COLE

Fans, we've gotta step out for a minute! Don't you dare go away! If anything happens--if this match ends during this break--our tapes are rolling, and we'll bring it to you on the other side! STAY WITH US!

 

**COMERCIAL**

 

When we return, THE LOGO~! scross across the screen, and the words "DURING THE BREAK" appear in the upper right hand corner.

 

COLE

Fans, we're back, and this thing came pretty close to ending just before we returned from break! There you see Chris Bryte in command of Panther. He had briefly taken control of this encourner when...watch this! Panther reverses the Irish whip into a fireman's carry, and then proceeds to plant Bryte right on the top of his head with the move he calls The Deep End! Panther with the cover, and he ALMOST GOT THE THREE! ALMOST!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but "almost" doesn't mean a damn thing! Panther's gotta pin Bryte or make him submit in order to win this match, and I don't think he'll be able to do either!

 

The logo scrolls the screen once more as we cut back to live action, where Panther is plastering the youngster with STIFF crossfaces, sending his head flopping around like one of those bobblehead dolls. Panther then places his left hand under his chin and his right hand around his head and twists off, wrenching his neck in the process. Bryte falls forward to the canvas and tries to crawl into the ropes, but Panther catches with a kick to the back of the neck. He grabs him by the hair and pulls him back to his knees, driving the point of his elbow into Bryte's head once...twice...three times before placing his hands on his chin and around his head, and twisting off once more, wrenching his neck again. Bryte quickly scrambles to the corner and starts to beg off once more. But Panther's unsympathetic, and moves in on him, catching him with a hard stomp to the chest. He pulls Bryte back to his feet and begins to unload on him with hard knife edge chops to the chest; the crowd delivers a loud "WOOO" after ever blow. Then, Panther snap mares Bryte out of the buckle and catches him with a hard soccer kick to the back of the neck. Panther then back up into the buckle and comes at Bryte, catching him with a Mr. Perfect-style neck snap that causes Bryte to quiver in pain.

 

COLE

Panther...following up on the Deep End by targeting the neck of Chris Bryte, and Bryte is in a world of hurt here, folks!

 

Bryte again tries to crawl back to the buckle, but catches a boot to the neck for his troubles. A second. Panther lifts Bryte by the hair and sends him back into the corner, nailing him with another HARD chop to the chest! A second. Panther then grabs him by the hair and snap mares him out of the buckle once again, and with Bryte in another seated position, Panther blasts him with another hard soccer kick to the back of the neck! Another! Panther then backs up into the corner one more time, then charges forward for another neck snap--

 

*CRACK*

 

But as he leaps towards him, Bryte falls back and and catches Panther with a HARD toe kick to the top of the head as he flips through. Panther hits the canvas hard, holding his head as Bryte returns to his feet, breathing heavily as the crowd boos him in the background. A dazed Panther slowly pulls himself back to his feet, trying to clear the cobwebs when--

 

*CRACK*

 

Bryte comes in and catches him with a HARD kick right to the chest!

 

*CRACK*

 

Another one to the ribs doubles Panther over. Panther winces in pain, clutching at his ribs as Panther takes a step back, shifts into a martial arts stance, and--

 

*CRACK~!*

 

He nearly rips Panther's head off with a HUGE roundhouse kick, sending Panther straight down to the canvas. Boos rain from the crowd as Bryte saunters around the ring, a cocky smile forming on his face.

 

CABOOSE

Oh boy! He's feeling it now, guys! Things are starting to get a little bit BRYTER!

 

Tina looks on with concern from the outside as Panther groggily pulls himself back to his feet, clutching his head with both hands. When he finds his feet, Bryte moves right in on him and doubles him over with a spinning back kick to the ribs! He follows that up with a hard right hand to the head that sends Panther into the buckle, at which point, Bryte storms him. He begins tearing into Panther with a series of vicious strikes--kicks, knees, forearms, punches! To the ribs! To the jaw! To the side of the head! The end result is Panther slumped down against the bottom turnbuckle as Bryte turns and plays to the crowd once more. Tina shouts words of encouragement to Panther as grabs hold of the top rope and pulls himself back to his feet in the corner, but as soon as he reaches a vertical base, Bryte charges at him and sandwiches him with a high knee right to the chest. Panther stumbles forward clutching his midsection, at which point Bryte whips him HARD into the opposite buckle. Panther hits with such force that he stumbles forward yet again as Chris Bryte charges him and floors him with a rolling Koppu kick to the the jaw! Panther is down, and Bryte makes the cover! Referee in position for the count...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

NO! Just a two!

 

CABOOSE

How'd he kick out after that?!

 

COACH

You're not gonna beat Panther that easily.

 

Bryte lifts Panther up into a seated position, at which point, he blasts Panther with a bonechilling kick to the small of the back. He follows up with another kick to Panther's temple, which rolls him over onto all fours. Bryte leaps at him and takes him over in an Oklahoma roll!

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Panther gets his hand on the bottom rope to break up the fall. Bryte gets right back up and right back on Panther, driving the ball of his knee right into Panther's ribs. He does this once again, causing Panther to cry out in pain.

 

COLE

Now Bryte's focus seems to be the rib area of Panther.

 

CABOOSE

Which is a smart move. Remember, Panther suffered fractured ribs from The Hand not too long ago. That injury may not be completely healed.

 

Bryte uses Panther's right arm to drag him back to his feet, at which point, he just begins wrecking blasting Panther with kick after kick to the ribs. Another Irish whip by Bryte sends Panther hard off the buckle, at which point, Bryte charges in for another high knee--NO! Panther moves, and Bryte's knee bounces off the top turnbuckle. Panther takes a second or two to gather himself before charging Bryte with a stiff looking forearm that sends him back into the buckle, and no it's Panther's turn to unload! Forearms! Rights! Lefts! Knees! Panther unleashes a vicious flurry on the Bryte man that brings the capacity crowd back to life. He then grabs Bryte's right harm and sends him towards the opposite buckle with an Irish whip. Bryte reverses, however, and--

 

CROWD

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH~!

 

COLE

Dear God did you see that?!

 

Bryte's reversal sends Panther sliding across the canvas, hitting rib first off the ringpost at full force. The ref heads over to check on Panther--who's groaning as he clutches at his rib area. Suddenly, Bryte moves in, tosses the ref aside and plants both feet into Panther's side--pulling back on the top rope as he presses Panther's ribs up against the post, causing him to scream in pain.

 

REFEREE

C'mon! 1...2...3...

 

Bryte breaks on three and sends a swipe the ref's way, causing him to admonish Bryte. Bryte then hops to the arena floor, pointing in Tina's direction and ordering the referee to keep her at bay. Bryte then grabs Panther's right arm and right leg, flashes a smile to the crowd, then yanks on them, pulling Panther into the post! He does this a second time. Bryte then rolls Panther over to the point where his back is pressed against the post. Then, he hooks his right hand under Panther's jaw, hooks Panther's leg with his left, places the flat of his boot up against the post and leans back as far as possible, applying a modified bow and arrow around the ringpost.

 

CABOOSE

Can you believe this move, guys?

 

COLE

Chris Bryte with Panther...he's trying to snap the man in half!

 

The referee puts his count down on Bryte, ordering him to release the hold, but Bryte releases only when Tina comes at him with a look of anger on her face. The crowd boos once more as Bryte slides back into the ring and extends his arms into the air.

 

CABOOSE

You see, Cole?! You see, Coach? Didn't I tell ya this was a mistake for Panther?

 

COLE

Panther is in some intense pain, folks! His ribs...they've gotta be killing him.

 

CABOOSE

Exactly! Chris Bryte is taking Panther apart in there, and he's finding out the hard way that everything Bryte told him about him not belonging in a wrestling ring is the truth! He should've stayed at home!

 

A bit of blood is trickling down Panther's lips as Tina attends to him in the corner. However, their little moment is broken up as Bryte grabs Panther by the leg and drags him out towards the center of the ring. Bryte lifts Panther back to his feet and scoops him up into position for a front backbreaker. He parades Panther around the ring for a moment before dropping him down rib-first across his knee. Bryte then muscles Panther back up as he returns to his feet and drops him down into another rib-breaker. This time, he holds Panther across the knee, pressing his left hand up under Panther's chin while pressing his right hand down across his midsection. On the outside, Tina begins slapping the palms of her hands against the mat, trying to get the crowd rallied behind Panther. It works, and the crowd soon picks up her beat, as chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" begin to fill the arena. Their efforts seem to be working, as Panther's left fist shoots up into the air, trembling as adrenaline begins to fill his body. With the crowd cheering him on, Panther blasts Bryte with a hard right hand to the face. A second! A third breaks the hold, and both men go tumbling back to the canvas. The crowd claps and stomps in unison as both men work to find their feet. Bryte makes it up first, but as he approaches Panther, he gets nailed with a hard right hand! A second! A third!

 

COLE

Panther's coming back! He's com--

 

*CRACK*

 

But a hard kick to the ribs stops Panther right in his tracks. Bryte scoops Panther up once again, dropping him down with another rib breaker. He holds Panther in position as he climbs back to standing position, then takes Panther over with a table top suplex! Bryte holds the bridge...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

THRRRRR--NO!!!!! PANTHER GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!

 

COLE

Panther able to get the shoulder up before a count of three!

 

CABOOSE

Please! That was a three and you know it, Cole!

 

Bryte drags Panther back to his feet, nailing him with a hard knee to the gut. He follows up with a second before before hooking Panther in a standing octapus stretch! The crowd boos wildly as Bryte applies pressure to the hold.

 

COACH

Look at the look of pain on Panther's face! He's hurting bad!

 

COLE

Indeed. And ya know, Caboose...I don't like to admit it, but I think I may have to agree with you here. This may have been a big mistake for Panther to take this match so soon after his battle with The Hand!

 

The crowd claps and stomps in unison once more as they try and will Panther out of the hold. The referee's right there, asking Panther whether or not he wishes to continue, as Panther fights to break the hold. Slowly, Panther begins to lift Bryte up off the canvas...NO! He can't withstand the pain, and ends up dropping him. Panther tries to lift Bryte again, but again, he can't take the pain, and ends up dropping him one more time. The crowd is deafening as Tina slaps the canvas as hard as she can, and chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" grow louder than ever. The fans' efforts appear to be working once again, as Panther slowly....SLOWLY begins to lift Bryte off the canvas and onto his shoulders. Bryte tries to apply more pressure, but it's no use as Panther charges backwards and drives Bryte spine first into the buckle. The hold is broken, and both he and Bryte fall to the canvas in pain.

 

COLE

What a battle it's been between these two. Which one of these men will come out on top? Will Panther be able to get his revenge?

 

CABOOSE

Why don't you stop asking questions and call the match.

 

The fans continue to rally behind Panther as he works to pull himself back to his feet. He pulls himself to a knee...then back to a standing position. Suddenly, Bryte explodes out of the buckle and blasts him with a HARD yakuza kick to the jaw!!! He makes the cover! Hook of the leg...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

THRR--NO!!!!! PANTHER SHOOTS HIS SHOULDER OFF THE CANVAS!!!

 

CABOOSE

That was three! Count faster, ref!

 

Bryte gets back to a standing position and motions for Panther to get back up. Panther does so...slowly, and when he reaches his knees, Bryte blasts him with another hard kick to the ribs. Panther shoots a look of fury Bryte's direction as he clutches at his injured ribs. Bryte fires off another one. He tries a third, BUT IT'S CAUGHT BY PANTHER! The crowd cheers as Panther climbs back to his feet, seemingly ready to take control, when suddenly, Bryte spins around and catches him square on the jaw with a dragon whip! Bryte makes another cover...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

PANTHER GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

 

CABOOSE

This official's counts keep getting slower and slower.

 

COLE

Panther's not out of this thing yet, folks!

 

CABOOSE

Yes he is! It's only a matter of time now.

 

COACH

I dunno, guys! I think Panther can do this...but he's gotta do something about those kicks if he expects to win! They're killing him.

 

Indeed. Bryte lifts Panther up off the canvas, and begins blasting him with a rapid series of Kawada kicks; in the process, he re-opens Panther's forehead wound from License to Pin. Panther leans back on his knees, as Bryte catches him with another hard kick to the chest. One more sends to the temple sends Panther rolling to the mat. Bryte takes a couple of steps back as he measures Panther, motioning for him to get back to his feet. Bryte waits until Panther pulls himself up to a knee, when he hits off the ropes, charges at Panther and springs off his knee for a shining--

 

COLE

WAIT A MINUTE!

 

CABOOSE

What?!

 

Panther catches the knee and rolls backwards, hooking Bryte up in a well-executed half crab! The crowd pops in the background as Bryte--screaming bloody murder--pulls himself towards the bottom rope. But Panther pulls him away, and drags him out to the center of the ring. Bryte makes another go for the ropes, crawling hand over hand...he's almost there, but Panther yanks him away yet again, and reapplies it in the center of the ring. Chants of "Tap, Tap" start up in the crowd as Panther wrenches back on Bryte's knee, causing him to scream at the top of his lungs.

 

COLE

Panther's got this half crab locked in, and Chris Bryte is writhing in pain!

 

CABOOSE

I can't believe this! GET TO THE ROPES, CHRIS!

 

Bryte once again begins pulling himself towards the bottom rope--hand over hand--getting closer and closer. Bryte is inches away from the bottom rope, at which point, he extends his right hand forward...

 

 

...his open palm outstretched...

 

 

 

and...

 

 

 

and...

 

 

 

 

...HE GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE! The ref calls for the break, and Panther immediately releases the hold.

 

CABOOSE

Get on him, Chris!

 

 

Bryte uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet, but Panther comes right at him and catches him with a kick to the back of the knee. A second one Panther tries an Irish whip, but Bryte reverses. Bryte measure's Panther as he comes off, but gets blasted with a basement dropkick right to the kneecap, sending him facefirst to the canvas. Panther pulls himself back up and gets right back on Bryte, grabbing his leg and slamming it knee-first into the canvas. He does it a second time. He then uses Bryte's leg to drag him over towards the post, with the crowd rallying behind him...

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! Ref!

 

COLE

Now, it looks as if it's Chris Bryte who's gonna get a taste of the steel.

 

Bryte scratches and claws at the mat, desperately trying to keep away from the post, but its no use, as Panther slides to the outside and slams Bryte's leg up against the steel. He does it a second time! Once more, and Bryte crawls out to the middle of the ring. Bryte clutches at his knee (FOR REAL this time) as he tries to pull himself back to his feet. Meanwhile, Panther has slipped into the ring behind, him, and is measureing Bryte intently. As soon as Bryte reaches a vertical base, Panther comes up from behind and chop blocks him, sending him right back to the canvas. Panther then grabs the right leg and yanks on it two times (hoping to hyperextend it) before turning into Bryte's leg with a spinning toe hold. The crowd "WHOO'S" as Bryte kicks away at Panther, hoping to prevent the inevitable, but he's unsucessful, and Panther falls back with the figure four locked on!! Bryte claws at his hair and begins screaming at the top of his lungs as Panther applies pressure to the hold.

 

COLE

PANTHER'S GOT THE FIGURE FOUR!

 

CABOOSE

Fight it, Bryte! Fight it!

 

Bryte flails his arms wildly as he tries to find a way to escape the hold. Eventually, he tires out, and lays back onto the canvas to rest. 1...2...the ref counts Bryte's shoulders on the canvas, and he quickly raises them before the official's hand can strike the mat a third time. Panther then cinches back on the hold, and Panther's shoulders fall to the mat again for...1...2...NO! Only 2!

 

COLE

Chris Bryte in danger of pinning himself here!

 

CABOOSE

He's gotta get to the rope! Get to the ropes, Chris!

 

Bryte has another idea. He begins to turn into the hold, hoping to roll over onto his stomach, thus putting the pressure onto Panther's knees. Bryte twists his body further as Panther struggles to maintain the hold. The fans yell "Tap" at Bryte at the top of their lungs, hoping that he'll give up at any moment, but unfortunately...

 

CROWD

BOOOOOOOOOOO~!

 

...Bryte manages to reverse the figure four on Panther...

 

 

...BUT PANTHER REVERSES IT RIGHT BACK, causing the crowd to cheer again. Luckily for Bryte, he's close to the ropes, and he clutches the bottom rope with both hands as the referee calls for the break!

 

CABOOSE

What heart! What determination! I love Chris Bryte!

 

COLE

How much damage has been done to that leg?

 

We'll soon find out, as Panther releases the hold, and pulls himself back to his feet. Bryte tries to do the same, but his knee buckles, and he falls flat on his face.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no!

 

Bryte tries to pull himself up one more time, but his knee buckles again, and he falls back down. Desperate, Bryte begins to crawl towards the corner, reaching for the cell phone he left on the apron at the start of the match.

 

COACH

What the hell?

 

COLE

Bryte...Bryte's going for that cell phone once again.

 

Bryte grabs the phone and begins to crawl towards the center of the ring with it, dialing for help in the process. Before he gets the chance to talk to whomever he was trying to reach, Panther comes up and steps on his wrist. Bryte stuggles to pull his hand free as Panther reaches down and picks up Bryte's phone.

 

CABOOSE

Leave that alone! That doesn't belong to you.

 

The fans pop as Panther tosses the phone to the mat and stomps on it, shattering it to pieces. Panther kicks the phone's remnants to the outside as Bryte's eyes open wide with rage.

 

CABOOSE

No...he...DIDN'T!

 

COLE

Panther's just destroyed Bryte's phone! Panther...look at Bryte's face!

 

CABOOSE

He cannot destroy another man's property and get away with it.

 

Bryte's fuming, but before he gets a chance to act on his anger, Panther comes back in and slaps him HARD across the face. Bryte tries to climb to his feet, but gets a second slap to the face, as Panther motions for him to get up. Bryte is mad as hell, and with adrenaline pumping through his veins, Bryte slaps his injured leg, pushes himself back to his feet and makes a wild wing at Panther...

 

 

...only to catch a boot to the midsection and a PANTHER CUTTER for his troubles! The crowd comes to its feet as Panther hits the move.

 

COLE

Panther Cutter! He got the Panther Cutter!

 

CABOOSE

No!

 

COLE

Chris Bryte is down! Panther's got this thing won!

 

Tina leads cheers from the outside as Panther makes a throat-slitting gesture, signalling for the end. He grabs Bryte and lifts him back up into a standing headscissors, and with the crowd rallying behind him, he wraps his arms around Bryte's waist, lifts him up and snaps him down with DA BOMB!

 

COLE

DA BOMB!!! DA BOMB!! IT'S OVER!

 

The crowd erupts when Panther hits the move. However, just as Bryte hits the canvas, pieces of black and silver debris come flying into the ring; it's nearly identical to the remnants of Bryte's shattered cell phone, but it came flying from the side opposite from where Panther disposed of the phone. Panther looks down at what is apparently the remnants of a second cell phone, then looks out to the floor, where a brown-haired man in shades, black slacks, and a Hawaiian shirt stands with a big smile on his face. Panther looks shocked as he fixes his eyes on the unknown man.

 

PANTHER

Taylor?!

 

TAYLOR

Call me "Uncle Kev"!

 

A look of confusion comes across Panther's face. At the man's feet, Tina is lying face down on the floor with shards of the shattered cell phone on the back of her head. Angered, Panther exits the ring and chases Uncle Kev away from Tina.

 

COLE

He must have hit Tina in the back of the head with that cell phone! Tina's out!

 

With Uncle Kev gone, Panther attends to Tina, lifting her back to her feet. She's a little groggy, but she tells Panther to go back into the the ring to finish the match. Panther does so, reluctantly, and is clearly worried about Tina as he steps into the ring. He's looking down at her as, suddenly, Chris Bryte comes up from behind and takes him over with a schoolboy...

 

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!

 

COLE

NO!

 

*DING DING DING* **Cue "It's Goin' Down"

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner: CHRIIIISSSSSSSS BRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYTE!

 

COLE

HE'S STOLEN THIS THING! CHRIS BRYTE HAS STOLEN THIS THING! DAMN IT!

 

Bryte quickly rolls out of the ring and starts up the ramp as quickly as possible, injured leg and all. Panther slides out after him, but doesn't give chase; instead, he attends to the injured Tina on the floor.

 

CABOOSE

How about it, gang? Chris Bryte has done it again!

 

COLE

What a load of crap! Bryte has stolen this thing thanks to...this man! Uncle Kev! What the hell is going on?!

 

On stage, Uncle Kev awaits Bryte, and gives him a big hug before raising his arms in victory. At ringside, Panther clutches Tina in his arms while looking at the scene. He looks pissed off as the scene fades to black.

 

(Go to break)

Edited by Patty O'Green

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COLE

Fans the OAOAST in partnership with The Saints’ record label, Arista Records is proud to bring to you a “refreshing” change of pace to our usually chaotic show. The Saints, the self proclaimed most legendary rock and wrestling band will be performing here live tonight in just a few minutes! How great is that?

 

CABOOSE

What's up with your sarcastic tone? You don't think this thing'll be any good? This is the Saints were talking about! They have their own wing reserved in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Plus they've got three time Grammy award winner Sarah McLachlan backing them up on guitar and vocals. What more could you want? How often do you get to see a grammy award winner perform? This is gonna be great! It’ll be like the Monterey International Pop Music festival, only without the LSD! Man those were some hazy days, man.

 

COACH

Any idea what they'll be playing?

 

CABOOSE

They’re doing a cover of You look so fine by Garbage.

 

(The camera pans over the crowd below the entrance stage. The fans are mostly teenage girls, but a few guys who had heard the Saints attract a large teeny-bopper audience have made their way down to see if they could score a hook up. On the stage a giant neon sign that reads "Saints" hangs from the ceiling hovering behind the instruments. Michael Buffer stands in the middle of an otherwise empty ring with microphone in one hand and a note card in the other.)

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen......The OAOAST and Arista Records gives to you............The most legendary rock and wrestling band of all time.......The Saints.....and..... Three time Grammy award winner......Sara McLachlan!

 

(The house lights dim and the arena is soaked with soft green glow from several spot lights. The performers take their place on stage. Synth, dressed in a ten foot long smoking jacket, sits behind the drums. Sarah McLachlan, wearing the official Saints t-shirt sets herself a few feet away from center stage. As she slings her leather guitar strap around her shoulder, the lead singer, Logan takes his spot at front and center. An unnamed bass player and pianist position themselves on the far left of the stage.)

 

CABOOSE

This is awesome!

 

COACH

They haven't played anything yet!

 

("I love you Sara!" a fan shouts to "Saint for a night" Sara McLachlan. "Marry me Logan!" another one screams at the top of her lungs. All eyes in the jam packed arena are focused on the Saints. It's not like they've never performed in front of such a large crowd before, but tonight they're feeling an adrenaline rush like no other.)

 

LOGAN

The Saints would like to dedicate this song to two very special and very wonderful ladies. That's right......Krista Isadora Duncan, Alix Spezia, this song is for you.

 

(Loud cheers erupt from portions of the crowd when Sara McLachlan runs her fingers across her guitar strings. The volume of the cheers increase as Synth joins Sarah with his soft drum beats. The instrumental harmonies drift out of the speakers on the stage and wash over the crowd like a tender wave. Logan rhythmically bobs his head up and down, patiently waiting for his turn to jump in.)

 

LOGAN

You look so fine

 

(Female fans across the arena proclaim their desire to have Logan’s baby.)

 

LOGAN

I want to...break your heart

And give ya mine

Yer taking me over

 

It's so insane

 

You've got me......tethered n’ chained

I hear your name

 

And I fallover

 

I'm not like all the other boys

I can't take it like the other boys

I won't share it like the other boys

That you used to knooooow

 

(The Saint's music spreads over the crowd like a soft mist. Logan's vocals are confident while giving off traces of vulnerability and longing. His words touch the heart of even the most hardened souls, running through them like a sweetened lava, melting every last one of their emotional barriers. Synth and Sarah start to perform the chorus of the song. Known to have a voice equal to nails on a chalkboard in it's irritability, Synth's tone is soft and low key, barely noticeable to those who don't listen closely.)

 

SYNTH AND SARAH

You look so fine

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhh

 

Knock down

Cried out

Been down just ta....find out

Ah’m through

 

Bleeding for you

 

(Logan takes over and the girls below the entrance stage launch into ear piercing shrieks. They pretend that he’s talking to them and them alone.)

 

LOGAN

I'm open wide

I want to....take ya home

We'll waste some time

 

Yer the only one for me

 

You look so fine

I'm like the......desert tanight

Leave him behind

 

If you want to show me

 

(Synth's eyes rove the arena like a searchlight, stopping only when he finds a potential one night stand to bring backstage.)

 

SARAH AND SYNTH

I'm not like all the other boys

I won't take it like the other boys

I won't fake it like the other boys

That you used to know

 

(Logan's eyes are closed and he holds his head down to the ground in front of him. Behind the flowery patter of his honeyed vocals lie pained words of a love that is to remain forever unrequited.)

 

LOGAN

You're taking me over

 

Over and over

 

I'm falling over

 

Over and over

 

(Those who know the words to the song, gleefully sing a long with the Saints lead singer, pausing at the same time he does to let Sarah get her parts in.)

 

LOGAN

You're taking me over

 

Drown in me one more time

(Sarah: Over and over)

Hide inside.....me tanight

(Sarah: Over and over)

Do what you.....wanna do

(Sarah: Over and over)

Just pretend......happy end

(Sarah: Over and over)

Let me know....let it show

 

(Logan's eyes open to the crowd in front of him. Green and blue strobe lights flicker on and off in front of him. He navigates his gaze past them to find a tan redhead in the front row who has "Saints" written in sparkly gold letters on her tank top. His eyes settle on her. Imagining just for the moment that she's Krista, he bathes her with adoring poetry.)

 

LOGAN

Endin with.....letting go

Endin with....letting go

Endin with.....letting go

 

(Gripped by the power of his own vocals, Logan drops to his knees. His words coupled with the somber sounds of Sarah's guitar rock the crowd's hearts with volcanic tremors. Gentle words of a doomed love fall on them like an emotional meteor shower.)

 

LOGAN

Let's pretend, happy end

Let's pretend, happy end

Let's pretend, happy end

Let's pretend, happy end

 

(The song ends with a depressing piano solo. After its over Logan points a finger to the sky as blue and green pillars of pyro shoot out from the two S's of the "Saints" sign. The sound of the fireworks display is quickly drowned out by a massive ovation from the sold out crowd! So taken aback with the crowd's show of love, Synth stands up and tosses his drum sticks out into the audience! A wild brawl ensues over who will possess the piece of rock and roll paraphernalia!)

 

LOGAN

We'd like to thank Sarah McLachlan for being here with us tonight (Logans waits for the cheers for the pop-rock icon to die down before continuing) Also thanks to the great city of Fresno, California! (Cheap pop!) But most of all, thank you to Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Spezia. Without you two magnificent women, none of this would be possible.

 

(The camera turns to Triple C as production crew members scamper to clean off the stage)

 

CABOOSE

Amazing. Simply amazing, that’s what that was. What did you think?

 

COLE

Who sung that song originally?

 

CABOOSE

Garbage.

 

COLE

Garbage indeed! Ha!

 

CABOOSE

Fuck off. The 1999 Grammy winner for” best female pop performance” teams up with the winners of the New Zealand music award for “best group in the year 2000” to perform for your sorry ass and all you have to say is “Garbage indeed!”? Cole, your presence here deprives a village of a very good idiot.

 

COLE

Speaking of idiots where’s Coach?

 

CABOOSE

Up front trying to get his freak on with some solid ho3s.

 

COLE

Ugh. It remains to be seen whether or not that song will melt Krista’s ice cold heart. Folks, when we come back we’ll hear from OAOAST world champion, Zack Malibu. Stick around!

 

(Go to break)

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(Return from break)

 

"Nothing" by Stabbing Westward shoots out of the speaker system, causing the wild crowd to drown out the industrial rock song with their boos. After allowing his song to play for a few moments, Zack Malibu finally emerges from behind the curtain, holding hands with Candie. His other hand holds the World Heavyweight Championship on his shoulder...a belt that he managed to retain this past Sunday.

 

COLE

Goody gumdrops. Here comes the guy who shouldn't be champion!

 

CABOOSE

You're pathetic, Cole. You're too biased for your own good. Zack Malibu showed us this past Sunday what a true champion is made out of. He managed to take everything Crystal had and SURVIVE. She never pinned him, she never made him tap, she never made him quit. Crystal came up short once again, and I for one think that this company is all the better for it!

 

Malibu, well dressed in black pants and a white button down with blue stripes, has a huge smile on his face despite the catcalls of the fans. Candie seems to be in a pleasant mood tonight as well as she leads her man to the ring, where they pose for a moment before obtaining the mic from Michael Buffer. Once the music fades out, the anti-Zack chants can be heard more clearly, and Malibu simply raises an eyebrow to the fans, showing his displeasure with their actions.

 

MALIBU

First of all, before I even bother addressing you people and your rudeness, I have to give out props to my main man the Hoff-stepper, because not only did he risk life and limb by entering the Emperor of Death Tournament this past weekend, but he came out on top, proving once again just how much The Thrillogy is not "all talk". Also, Cal, my man...gotta compliment you on the way you handled things with that Zack Malibu wannabe, Sly Sommers. Now...let's see, now that I've given two of the greatest athletes competing today their props, what else did I have to talk about...OH, that's right...CRYSTAL!

 

The crowd pops loudly at the mere mention of the Female Phenom. A rather vocal section of fans starts up a "She's The Champ!" chant, which carries, growing louder and louder, much to Zack's chagrin.

 

MALIBU

No, no...NO! NO SHE'S NOT! TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!

 

Malibu raises the belt up high, but it's not enough to quell the crowd.

 

MALIBU

STOP IT...STOP...SHUT UP! I AM TALKING HERE! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? YOU PEOPLE ALLOW ME TO SPEAK RIGHT NOW, OR THERE WILL BE SEVERE REPROCUSSIONS!

 

Malibu's threats don't stop anyone from chanting, but after several moments the chant dies off, giving him room to get his words out.

 

MALIBU

NOW, as I was saying...Crystal. It was a worthy effort. It was a hell of a fight, but you know something...you just couldn't get it done, could you? Just when you thought your life had changed for the better...*snap* (Zack snaps his fingers at the camera), you realize it's changed for the worst. This makes it the second time you've choked in a title match, and honestly, I didn't want it to come to this. I didn't want you to embarrass yourself, but you insisted. You kept at it. Your attacks on The Thrillogy, on me...well, karma is a bitch, ain't it? You had people flown in to Alcatraz Island, hopping on boats, getting their on jet ski...hell a pack of skydivers that landed there opted to stay for the event just to see you win and YOU COULDN'T DO IT! Your status as a never was is now cemented. You can never, and will never defeat me, because I am just THAT GOOD! I am The Franchise. I'M ZACK F*CKING MALIBU, AND YOU DON'T HOLD A CANDLE TO ME!

 

Malibu's celebratory ramblings draw the ire of the crowd, until...

 

CUE: "Set It Off"

 

Audioslave's song, the theme of the one and only Female Phenom kicks in, and the crowd ERUPTS! Crystal starts powerwalking down the aisle with a mic in her hand, but...

 

MALIBU

Whoa, whoa whoa! Stop right there! Stay right there, or I swear to God you'll never work for this company again, not even as a janitor!

 

Reluctantly, Crystal stays put, while Malibu sneers at her.

 

MALIBU

I don't know what you're doing here Crystal, but you shouldn't be out here. You see, this ring right here...consider it a Winner's Circle. I belong in it. Hoff, he belongs in it. Calvin, Candie...we're all winners. That's why The Thrillogy is the elite. Simply the best, better than all the rest, too hot to handle...yeah, all those cliches and more. We are the cornerstone of this company. You, on the other hand, you do NOT belong in a Winner's Circle, because, well...you're not a winner. You threw everything you had at me this past Sunday...including some things that I didn't think you had in you. It wasn't enough, though, now, was it? It wasn't enough to pin my shoulders to the mat, it wasn't enough to get me to quit, and IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO TAKE THIS BELT FROM OFF OF MY SHOULDER AND PUT IT AROUND YOUR WAIST!

 

Crystal stands still, as if she's frozen. She just glares at Malibu.

 

MALIBU

Wow, speechless. There's a first. Oh wait...I know why you can't say anything...hey Northstar, Sly...someone, one of you wanna come out here and give this poor girl the Heimlich, because she keeps CHOKING!

 

Crystal still stands her ground, but doesn't even attempt to speak in retaliation.

 

MALIBU

Aw wait...is that a tear I see? Are you crying? Why are you so sad, little girl? Is it because you wake up every morning and see the reflection of a NOBODY? Remember when I said you'd be a flash in the pan with 15 minutes of fame? Well guess what, honey, it's 14:59 and I don't see any chance of redemption in the near future, so why don't you pack it in. Throw your tank tops and thongs in a suitcase and get on a Greyhound to Vegas. They could always use a good cocktail waitress. Or housekeeper. Maybe the next time I'm at the MGM Grand, I'll even give you a good tip for cleaning my suite.

 

COLE

This is just wrong. Malibu is going too far tonight.

 

CABOOSE

But it's so true!

 

COACH

Well, I WOULDN'T mind seeing her in a maid uniform.

 

Zack leans over the ropes, dangling the belt playfully in full view of Crystal, while Candie rubs his shoulders. Crystal has not backed down, but has not advanced towards the ring either. Instead, she seems to be absorbing everything Malibu throws at her.

 

MALIBU

OK, you know what, this is stupid. I'm not going to sit here and wait for you to make a point that you feel to be true. The proof is out there, but you seem to be in denial. All of you...each and every one of you fairweather fans who root for this girl, who chant her name...LOOK AT HER! She's done nothing for you people! The cheers and adulation mean SQUAT, because I'M STILL THE KING! I AM STILL THE CHAMPION! YOU SHOULD ALL BE SHOWING RESPECT FOR THE MAN WHO BUILT THIS COMPANY FROM THE GROUND UP! YOU SHOULD ALL BE SHOWING RESPECT TO THE THRILLOGY!

 

The crowd showers Zack with more boos than before, while Crystal continues to fume from the aisleway. Malibu's eyes widen, as he turns and targets Crystal again.

 

MALIBU

YOU SEE THIS? THIS IS WHAT IT HAS COME DOWN TO! YOU WANT THE TRUTH, CRYSTAL? YOU CAN'T CUT IT! YOU CAN NEVER BE LIKE THIS! YOU WILL NEVER, EVER HAVE THE GLORY THAT I HAVE TASTED! YOU WILL NEVER, EVER HAVE THE FAME AND FORTUNE THAT I HAVE GAINED THESE PAST TWO YEARS! YOU MEAN NOTHING TO THIS COMPANY, JUST LIKE THESE PEOPLE MEAN NOTHING TO ME!!!

 

Crystal, still standing still, just eyes Malibu. The look on her face is enough to spell out her feelings right now, but she doesn't react to his tirade. Not out of fear, but because her mind seems elsewhere.

 

MALIBU

You know what...this is ridiculous. I refuse to let my triumph over you be bittersweet. You want to cater to the people tonight? You want to tell them how you let them down again, and how the "evil Zack Malibu" came out on top? Go ahead. The floor is yours. I'm done with them, and I'm done with you.

 

Just like that, Malibu drops the mic, and he and Candie exit. They storm up the ramp, and when they pass Crystal, Malibu stops. The two foes stare each other down, and Zack cautiously makes his way by the Female Phenom, who looks to be out for blood. Shockingly, they do not come to blows, and Malibu and Candie escape unscatched. Crystal looks out to the fans on either side of her, who begin chanting her name, hoping for her to shed some light on her feeling from this past Sunday...

 

...but she turns and walks up the ramp herself.

 

COACH

She's leaving me, Mikey!

 

COLE

She's leaving the arena, it would seem!

 

Crystal retreats to the back, stopping one time before vanishing through the curtain to look out at the fans again before heading to the back.

 

COLE

That young lady must be heartbroken after coming so close to championship gold this past Sunday. Fans, we hope to talk to Crystal later on if she's up to it, but for now we must take a break. We come back with OAOAST action right after this!

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(Return from break)

 

Two men, one with long black hair, the other with a short crew cut, stand in front of a OAOAST banner.

 

FRANK

Hey, all of you wrestling fans. I'm Frank and that's my younger brother Frankie -- we're the Frankensteiners. We want to let you and every tag team across this great nation and around the world know we're coming to the hard-hitting world of the OAOAST. As a matter of fact, our first match is next week on HeldDOWN...

 

FRANKIE

Yeah! I can't wait to beat somebody down, chew 'em up and spit 'em out.

 

FRANK

You must excuse my brother, here's a little hyperactive -- but one helluva fighter. We can't wait to face some of the toughest competition the OAOAST has to offer: Hell's Hitmen, the New New Midnight Express, The Saints, The Global Party XChange, and the current tag team champions Black T. Our goal: Capture the World tag team titles. Me & my little brother have never run away from a challenge -- and we don't plan on starting now.

 

THE FRANKENSTEINERS...

 

DEBUTING NEXT WEEK

 

HELDDOWN~!

 

ONE ON ONE...with THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE

 

In an office inside the arena, "Mean" Gene Okerlund is sitting down with the Global Party XChange, who are sporting bandages on their heads. Scotty Static, wearing a throwback Spud Webb Atlanta Hawks jersey, squirms around in his seat, obviously uncomfortable due to his injuries (bruised ribs from two weeks ago).

 

MEAN GENE

Hello everybody, Gene Okerlund here alongside the challengers -- the team you, the people, voted for -- in tonight's match against Black T for the OAOAST tag team championship. Gentlemen, thank you for joining me.

 

SCOTTY & JOHNNY

Thank you, Gene.

 

MEAN GENE

I know you two are extremely honored the fans choose you to face Black T for the titles, but let's talk about License to Pin, specifically Hell's Hitmen.

 

SCOTTY

There's nothing to talk about, G-Spot. Those two monster bastards tried to end our careers, okay? In retrospect maybe we took on more than we could crew. I mean, me & J.J. were involved in the Emperor of Deathmatch tournament. Maybe if we had gotten all the way to the finals we might not be so pissed. In second thought, yeah, we'd still be pissed. We were carried off -- carried off, Gene -- for a second time at the hands of Jingus -- excuse me, JINGUS -- and The Sadist. We ain't the biggest motherfukers in the world, but we're the toughest average sized motherfukers in the world. And fools, we ain't done. One way or another, we're gonna find ya, we're gonna get-cha-cha-cha.

 

MEAN GENE

Motherfukers?

 

JOHNNY

You heard right, Mr. G.

 

SCOTTY

Take the legendary Spud Webb, for example. He was 5'4" and we won the NBA's slam dunk contest is 1987, beating one of my favorite ballers in history, Dominique Wilkins, in the finals. Not only did he defeat the "Human Highlight Reel," but he beat a boatload of slammers that fateful night in Big D. That's why I have on my Spud Webb throwback jersey tonight. Out of all my throwbacks, this one's my favorite; I consider it lucky.

 

MEAN GENE

Let me take you back to the April 29th edition of HeldDown where you were involved in the tournament to declare new tag team champions. You faced Black T in the finals, and lost.

 

HELDDOWN~!

April 29, 2004 - TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT FINALS

COURTESY: OAOAST HOME ENTERTAINMENT

 

Johnny and Dan exchange blows, until Jackson just jumps and levels Black with a running enziguiri! Jackson, still the legal man, meets Tony as he runs back in with a stiff kick to the face, and then pumphandles T-Bod into the Beat Drop to a big POP!

 

Jackson rolls T-Bod out, and helps Scotty to his feet. Static slowly walks over to the corner and sits on the middle rope, as JR runs round to cheer him on! Johnny applies a front facelock and suplexes Black up into Scotty’s arms!

 

Static looks ready to deliver the flying piledriver -- but suddenly his face crumples in pain, and he drops Dan to the mat! Scotty slowly falls forward off the top turnbuckle!

 

Dan, on one knee, grabs the referee’s shirt and draws him down to him, talking rapidly, so that referee does not see Jivin’ Jim Ross enter the ring, holding a lead pipe... the pipe full in his face!

 

JR slides out of the ring as Dan releases the referee!

 

A recovered T-Bod pulls Static out of the ring and throws him into the guard rail, before jumping back into the ring!

 

T-Bod and Dan picks Johnny up, his face covered in blood.

 

Combined Rock Bottom-Out of Body Experience. The Black Body Bag (3-B).

 

ONE.

 

TWO.

 

THREE.

 

* DING DING DING *

 

Dan and TB snatch a tag belt each, holding them up in celebration, before hugging. Jivin’ JR skips back into the ring, nodding seriously at the new champs. Dan turns to JR, a new look of respect on his face, and shakes his hand. T-Bod, grinning, does the same.

 

MEAN GENE (CONT'D)

Then, the next month in front of a worldwide pay per view audience, you once again failed in your attempt to capture the biggest prize in tag team wrestling.

 

SCHOOL'S OUT: CLASS DISMISSED

May 23, 2004

COURTESY: OAOAST HOME ENTERTAINMENT

 

Johnny Jackson climbs to the top slowly. FLYING CLOTHESLINE, nearly taking T-Bod's head off... JJ looks at the crowd, asking "One more?" ...Again he jumps off, but Tony "The Body" catches his arm midair... the HEART OF ICE (Crippler Crossface).

 

Scotty jumps from the apron to the top rope, facing the crowd, then motions to the heavens before twisting midair to face the ring...

 

The crowd holds their collective breaths...

 

The Heart of Ice is stilled applied on Johnny... T-Bod tugs JJ's head back trying to add more pressure to the hold, but doing so allows Scotty a clear shot at executing... STATIC SHOCK~!

 

Dan re-enters the ring, spins Scotty around...kick to the midsection, BLACKOUT (Stone Cold Stunner).

 

1...

 

2...

 

3!

 

SCOTTY

Watching the footage brings back bad memories, man. Yeah, me & "Jam" are a couple of fun-lovin' guys but those belts, G...if we could just--if we could just hold them for 3 seconds, it would mean more than anything we've done in our lives, in our careers.

 

JOHNNY

You know how when you're a little kid somebody asks you "what do you want to be when you grow up?" A lot of people said they want to be doctors, dentists...

 

SCOTTY

(covering his mouth)

Ow!

 

JOHNNY (CONT'D)

...cops, firefighters -- I said: "Auntie May, I wanna be a gynecologist." Once the look of disbelief disappeared from her face, she said, "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that." Then her husband, my Uncle Barney said, "Good for you, son. Good for you."

 

MEAN GENE

You're only 21. You're telling me you did all that--

 

JOHNNY

I was a real-life Doogie Hoswier, M.D. Believe it or not, I actually hit the books and began studying before realizing, why study when you can party? But I had already invested so much time studying I went ahead with my childhood goal. Then it came crashing down. It was on a bright, sunny day in the 313. The doctor's office was small but up to standards. Doctor Green said, "Mr. Jackson, are you ready?" I replied, "Yes, sir!" This smokin' blonde walks in, lies on that bed or whatever the hell it is in the doc's office of pussy. I tell you, "Okay, ma'am, spread 'em." Dr. Green gets a page and tells me he's gotta make a quick call and I gotta take this one. Now I'm nervous, dude. I got this babe lying on her back, legs spread wide open. The Jam was oozing outta its jar.

 

SCOTTY

(chuckling)

Sweet.

 

JOHNNY

The hottie asks me if this was my first time. I asked her how'd she know. She said because I keep staring at her vagina, covering my sack with my hands. "Oh, shit. I'm screwed," I thought. The blonde took my hand and started rubbing it on her...

 

Johnny wipes the sweat off his foreheard. Gene & Scotty lean over, wanting to hear more.

 

JOHNNY (CONT'D)

...To make a long story short, two of my fingers go AWOL and she starts moaning like there's no tomorrow. It sounded like a B-52 was flying overhead, bro. Dr. Green walks in, and lemme tell ya, he's pissed. He chases me around the office until I manage to esacpe through a window. Later that night in one of Detroit's hottest clubs, I run into the blonde. We talk and she invites me back to her place where we got down and dirty. I thought I was Fred and she was Wilma because we were in Bedrock. Before I leave she gives me her number. I told her I never got her name. She says it's Cindy Fuzzy. Over the next 3 weeks we banged all over the country, homie.

 

Scotty stratches his head.

 

JOHNNY

That bitch wore me out like a rubber tire. I swear to Jeebus, if we hadn't stopped seeing each other I be dead, ya hear. That's when I knew it was time to following another dream: become a pro wrestler and win one of those badass belts.

 

SCOTTY

Cindy Fuzzy?! That was my mother, you i-i-i-idoit!

 

JOHNNY

What?! I didn't--I didn't know, man. Who would of thought we'd end up meeting anyway? Besides the big man down stairs.

 

SCOTTY

We're being interviewed about the biggest match in our whole career, and you bring that up. God! Well, I guess it makes up for sleeping with your lil' sis.

 

JOHNNY

Say what, whitey? You slept with my sister? When was this?

 

MEAN GENE

Gentlemen. Some order, please.

 

JOHNNY

Dude, I was joking. Ahem. You know, trying to keep us loose.

 

SCOTTY

(laughing)

Shiiiit, dawg. You had me there. We're sexy beasts, baby. We can bag any bag we want, so I could see you pulling off some bull like that.

 

JOHNNY

I concur. Look at me. I'm smart.

 

MEAN GENE

Let's get serious. Can you beat Black T?

 

SCOTTY

Of course, G-Spot. They aren't Superman. All it takes -- if I have this right -- is 3 seconds. You could be getting slaughtered but one little roll up, school boy or small package -- 3 seconds and it's over. We've said it two months ago and we'll say it again: We're focused. The beatings we took over the last month and a half will be worth it if we walk out with the belts. Right now those belts mean more to us than some piece of ass.

 

JOHNNY

Unless we lose. Then that piece of ass means more than the titles. But the titles come first right now. But GPX never come first because we're 60 minute men.

 

GENE

Well, I'm a .5 second man myself, but good luck to you. I'm "Mean" Gene, and this has been one...unique interview. Mean Gene signing off.

 

SCOTTY

Yahtee!

 

JOHNNY

Playa don't play with best friends mama's.

 

SCOTTY

Kiss those belts goodbye, Dan & T-Butthole.

 

JOHNNY

Like I kissed Scotty's mom. (Scotty shoots JJ a look) Disrightguard (yes, he said rightguard, not regard) that comment. GPX over and out.

 

SCOTTY & JOHNNY

(singing)

We want the belts! Those funky tinted blue belts. We want the belts! Because having a belt gets you laid even more -- and a phat wallet!

 

(To the ring!)

 

COLE

Last Saturday night, we saw one of the most insane aerial displays of our time at Night One of License to Pin, as Nate, Mikey, and SB87 of the Rave and Assault Squad all faced current X-Division Champion Rick Edwards in a Daredevil's Delight match, the first of its kind. We saw some stuff we've never seen before in that match, and some stuff that we might not ever see again.

 

COACH

But, at the end of the match, some dissention was shown between SB87 and his two Rave and Assault Squad partners, as they showed respect to Rick Edwards, who won the match. But, SB87 chose to disrespect the X Champion, and then vowed for a surprise for tonight. Well...let's go to Josh Matthews, who's in the ring!

 

::cut to Matthews holding a microphone in the ring::

 

JOSH

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time...they are two-thirds of the Rave and Assault Squad, Nate and Mikey!

 

("Mindfields" starts up, and Nate & Mikey come out. They don't dance around like usual, but instead standing at the top of the ramp for a second to acknoledge the fans before walking to the ring. The music stops and the lights come up, and they get quite the big ovation of respectful clapping from the fans.)

 

JOSH

I think it's safe to say that after that amazing display of innovation and guts that you guys have gotten some respect given to you by these people.

 

NATE

Honestly, I want to thank you all on behalf of my brother and I for your appreciation, and I just want to say that it was an honor to be apart of something like Daredevil's Delight.

 

::applause::

 

NATE

But, that's not what we're out here for. You see, at the end of the match, SB87 decided that he didn't want to show respect to the guy who beat all three of us single-handedly, Rick Edwards. We kind of knew something was up with him, as he's had a crappy attitude lately. But, I think he went a little too far on Saturday. Then, he said something like he had a "surprise" for us for tonight. So, SB...please come out.

 

("Bully" by Eminem" starts up, and SB87 comes out wearing a throwback Dodgers jersey and overtly-baggy red velvet pants. He has a microphone.)

 

SB87

Well...I do have a surprise or two for you two. First off, I'm not "SB87". That's a name that YOU guys made up for me. I am Sean mother(bleep)in' Bryant, and I am the future of this business. As for my other surprise...you see, I'd like to announce that I'm no longer one of your little ravin' buddies. That club scene was cool and all, but I'm just a bit cooler. Oh, by the way, I let a present for you all...turn around...

 

Nate turns around as the camera goes to a wide shot, showing someone in the ring behind Nate and Mikey. He's wearing short red and black trunks and red kneepads with a black maple leaf on them. The muscularly lean man grabs Nate as he's turning, and drops him on his head with a dangerous high angle side suplex! He kips up, hooks Mikey as he charges at him, and drops him on his neck with an Exploder suplex!

 

BRYANT

Allow me to introduce the man who was, up until earlier today, the top independent talent coming from Canada today, my cousin Alex Bryant!

 

COLE

Whoa...I've heard some stuff in newsletters and online about this guy, but I've never seen him in person!

 

Bryant then hooks his legs around Nate's in surfboard fashion, and locks in a sick-looking abdominal stretch variation, bending his body in a completely incorrect way. Sean then repeatedly dropkicks Nate in the face. Alex Bryant lets go of the hold as Mikey gets to his feet. Mikey swings a punch at Alex, and Alex ducks. Alex hooks Mikey from behind...and drops him on his head with a BRUTAL release German suplex!

 

COACH

DAMN~!

 

"Bully" starts up, as both Bryant cousins head backstage. Sean looks into the floor cameraman's camera for a second to say, "THIS is my family now!" Fans boo the Bryant cousins as they head backstage.

 

CABOOSE

So, Sean Bryant changes his ridiculous name, brings in one of the most reputable indy talent on the circuit, and takes care of those stoner kids, and it's a BAD thing?!?!

 

COLE

I mean, we all in the company have been hearing that this guy might be close to signing a deal, but I thought maybe he was coming in to help add more athletic crediblitity to the X-Division or something. I had no clue whatsoever that his cousin happened to be in the Rave and Assault Squad!

 

COACH

You know...this tag team division as of late has been hotter than a leather car seat on a hot summer's afternoon. I think that a feud between the Tethers Brothers and the Bryant Cousins might heat it up a bit more. More HD in Three!

 

*************************

 

COLE

Let's go...

 

("Gimme Back My Bullets" starts up, and Sly Sommers comes out with his jaw and bottom lip heavily taped.)

 

COACH

I have no clue what Sly's doing out here, but he's displaying the aftermath of his brutal Fans Bring the Weapons match against Calvin Szechstein at License To Pin, after Calvin gave him a jawbreaker after filling his mouth up with broken glass and thumbtacks.

 

Sly enters the ring and waves Michael Buffer in. Buffer relucantly goes into the ring. Sly hands Buffer a piece of paper and points at the microphone that Buffer has. Buffer shakes his head "no" before Sly cocks his fist back. Buffer then starts reading...

 

BUFFER

The following is a statement from Sly Sommers: "I would be saying every word of this out of my own mouth, but due to Calvin Szechstein being a desperate, blood-sucking goon on Sunday night, I am left unable to speak for the next couple of weeks. However, that will not stop me for saying what I have to say, even if it's through this orange moron with a bad toupee..." HEY!

 

Sly cocks his fist back again...

 

BUFFER

Okay, okay..."Calvin Szechstein, you've made my life a living hell since you turned your back on me a little under four months ago. You've taken my pride, my health, my ability to live a normal, functional life, and stalled me from my goal of making my name as the most skilled wrestler in this company. This is a problem that needs a solution, and I have one that will settle the matter for good."

 

CABOOSE

This should be good...not!

 

BUFFER

"At Angleslam, this company's second biggest show of the year, I, Sly Sommers, am challenging you, Calvin Szechstein, to come with me to Barbed Wire Pergatory. This isn't just a match where you got ring ropes wrapped in barbed wire, nor is it a match where the ropes are replaced by barbed wire. Sure, we'll have these ring ropes taken down and replaced by strands of barbed wire, but the ringpost will also be wrapped in barbed wire. The ring aprons will be replaced by rectangular barbed wire nets. Every table and chair not being occupied at ringside will be wrapped in barbed wire. Both competitors will be handed one roll of barbed wire before the match, and other barbed wire-related weapons will be at ringside for use by the competitors. Calvin..." Um...I can't read this, Sly.

 

Sly grabs Buffer by the collar, grabs his microphone, and shoves him down...

 

SLY (in gravelled, hard-to-understand voice):

Cal, I'm not askin'...I'm DEMANDING YOU TAKE...THIS...MATCH!!!

 

Someone jumps in the ring from the crowd, and turns Sly around. It's Calvin, but Sly saw it coming, as he lets loose with punches to the face.

 

COLE

All hell's starting to break loose in this ring!

 

Calvin goes down after a punch, and Sly straddles him to continue repeatedly punching him in the face. Various officials and referees come down to the ring to seperate the two. They eventually get Sly in one corner and Calvin in the opposite one. As Calvin is escorted out to the floor, Sly convinces the men holding him back that he's settled down. He calmly walks to center ring...

 

COLE

That's better...

 

...before charging forward, diving over two officials and over the top rope, and taking out four officials on the floor when he lands. He then gets up and tackles Calvin from behind. He punches Calvin again and again as everyone involved in the pull-apart go to the situation and pull Sly off of Cal. Sly's then carried off by most of the officials, kicking and screaming.

 

COACH

This situation's exploding as we speak...just THINK of what's going to happen at Angleslam, on August 29th...Sly Sommers versus Calvin Szechstein...a match made in Barbed Wire Purgatory! We'll be back!

 

(Go to break)

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(Return from break)

 

:: Cut to a darkened room, and the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, Dan Black and T.Bod, sitting in director style chairs. Wearing expensive suits with their tag titles over their shoulders, Black T look relaxed and stylish. The camera pans out a little to reveal Jivin' JR, the farmer of champions, also suited and wearing a huge pair of black shades ::

 

JR

Well boys, in the interests of fairness we've been allocated some interview time. And I can promise you, I'll be doing a better job than that goof Mean Gene. You know, I always had a problem with him because he used to hit on my wife. Of course, that was before she left me for the kid at the grocery store, but-

 

BLACK

Mr. Jive- a little professionalism, please?

 

JR

Uh? Oh, sure. Champs- how do you feel going into tonights big title match against the GPX?

 

Dan and T.Bod look at each other and shake their heads wearily. Dan motions for T.Bod to go ahead.

 

T.BOD

Jim- we're not going to lie to you. We don't want this match. We just defeated the NNMX in the middle of the ring at Licence to Pin, and already the OAOAST is forcing us into another defence.

 

BLACK

And not only that- against a team we've beaten TWICE already. A team that didn't even earn their shot- they got it handed to them by a bloody poll that we weren't even allowed to vote on!

 

T.BOD

Yeah, we wanted to face Jivin' Jim Ross and his fat sister Rockin' Rosie Ross, but that wasn't an option apparently.

 

BLACK

This is just typical of what HeldDown has done to Black T. We came to this show and saved the tag team division from extinction. Fans actually want to see tag matches again. And what thanks do we get, Mr. T?

 

T.BOD

None, Mr. Black. And this is why we had to become a part of INTEN5E. You know, both of us have had our problems with Stephen Joseph, and that's putting it mildly. We've both HATED Stephen Joseph, and everything he represents.

 

BLACK

True, so true. But one thing we've realised, is that Stephen isn't so different to us. He's a man who knows what he wants, and will take any steps to get it. That's why we'll have his back here on HeldDown.

 

JR

If I can bring you back to the match- GPX suffered a horrendous beating at the hands of Hell's Hitmen on Sunday. Surely, they won't be able to compete?

 

BLACK

Well, those little guys are tough buggers, I'll give them that. I'm sure they'll be ready to give it their best tonite.

 

T.BOD

But it doesn't matter if they're beat up or if they just got back from vacation- they'll never be in the same league as Black T. We're bigger, stronger and downright better. That's why we've beaten them twice, and that's why the OAOAST tag titles remain with us.

 

JR

Boys, I'm going to be out there with you, and I'm very excited about this match. There's a buzz in the locker room about it, and some are even saying this is the night where the titles finally change hands.

 

Dan and T.Bod look at each other again, and laugh heartily. They pull shades from their jacket pocket, and put them on. Black T get to their feet.

 

T.BOD

Mr. Black. Mr. Ross. Let's get to work.

 

(Go somewhere else)

 

(The Mad Cappa is seen outside the arena just pacing around in circles with his baseball bat and puffs on cigarettes very heavily. He keeps muttering, "Hell in a cell, hell in a cell, hell in a cell!" Then he changes directions as he mutters, "what have I done, what have I done, what have I done?!"

 

COACH: Well, we are witnessing the Mad One outside the arena live. What happened this past Sunday will sure go down as a memorable night for him!

 

CABOOSE: I have always told you guys that he was up to no good! He proved it by joining forces with that piece of shit Popick!

 

COACH: Folks....

 

CABOOSE: Folks?! Geez Coach!

 

COACH: Besides the interruption, we have Michael Cole standing by!

 

(Michael Cole steps into view with a mic and proceeds towards Cappa.)

 

COLE: Thanks guys! I am here with Cappa and I will try to get a word why he's doing this! Now, Cappa, why are you out here with your bat and just walking in circles?! Also, just why did you join forces with Stephen Joe....."

 

CAPPA: (swings bat to scare away Michael Cole) GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING TO ANYBODY RIGHT NOW!

 

(Cappa swings his bat and breaks the video camera to disrupt the feed!)

 

CABOOSE: That vandal! He will pay! Why, why...

 

COACH: He will definiately get fined for it! Back in a few!

 

(Go to break)

 

(Return from break)

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In a world full of posers, phonies, and wannabees,

there finally emerges a group

which has come to set the record straight.

So, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard

can you say uhhh na na na na

 

J.R.

Welcome back to HeldDown, ladies and gentlemen. You're not hearing things, either. Good 'ol J.R. with you, joined by long-time promoter of Mid-South wrestling, former Vice President of World Championship Wrestling, and currently the Chairman of the OAOAST board of directors, "Cowboy" Bill Watts. Just like old times, eh, Bill?

 

WATTS

Great working alongside you again, Jim. I'd like to thank the fans watching us live on TSM for allowing us into their homes. You take valuable time out of your week to watch us on television, TSM or pay-per-view, or at one of our live events, and we go all-out to give you the best programming anywhere. We're gonna have a good one coming up for the World's tag team championships -- the Global Party XChange vs. the incumbant champions Black T. I know you got a lot of invested in Black T, Jim, but remember, you're here to call the match.

 

J.R.

I understand, Bill. It's a great joy for me just being able to broadcast a match again, especially now that I'm no longer the voice of the OAOAST. Besides, you're here to ensure things don't get outta hand like they've been the past month.

 

WATTS

That's right. You know, Nick Patrick -- a fine referee with a troubled past -- was originally assigned to this match, but due to Jim Cornette's filed complaint about Patrick being "unfit" and biased in his officiating... we take every complaint seriously, and Nick will not referee any tag title matches until our investigation determines no wrongdoing. So we flew in 3 times international referee of the year, all the way from Blackpool, England, Sir Miles Manchester, or 'M'. He's a fantastic official who was approved by everyone in the tag division.

 

The assortment of strobe lights flicker down upon the set and ring, the arena explodes as the Global Party XChange -- Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson -- appear at the entranceway, carrying skateboards. The guys look around the area taken back at the sight of every seat filled, they point to the nose-bleed section where the fans up there have a huge banner reading "THE PARTY STARTS TONIGHT" with a fantastic hand-drawing of the tag titles draped over GPX's shoulders. Scotty & Johnny hop on their skateboards and zigzag to the ring, high-fiving each other in the process, and slapping hands with their fans. Before heading into the ring, the guys give their skateboards to a couple of kids from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

 

WATTS

Great gesture from GPX.

 

J.R.

To be quite honest, it makes me about as sick as those little brats. Let's talk about something important -- the celebrities in attendence. I saw Conan O'Brien backstage earlier tonight filming skits with many of the OAOAST superstars. Andy Richter, a huge wrestling fan who gets stuck with crappy sitcoms -- except Andy Richter Controls the Universe, which was great -- is sitting ringside.

 

WATTS

I saw Snoop Dogg hangin' out backstage with GPX.

 

J.R.

I don't know if Snoop Dogg's a guy you wanna be hangin' around with hours before the biggest match of your life. Catwoman -- speaking of awful -- stars Halle Berry and Sharon Stone have constantly been leaving messages for T-Bod & Dan Black, both of whom know they can do better. Hey, there's Chevy Chase. You know, an original Saturday Night Live castmember, Fletch, etc.

 

WATTS

I thought he was dead. After the massive success he experienced after leavin' SNL... oh, God, I'm sorry. The only success Chase has had since 1980 was getting owned by legendary actor Cary Grant. When Cary was Chase's age, he was already an icon. When you ask somebody today who's Chevy Chase, they either say "who?" or "a car."

 

J.R.

(chuckling)

Well, uh, fans...we gotta take our last commerical break. But when we come back, the champs will appear, followed by the intro's and then our huge main event. Stay with us. We'll be back in 1 second.

 

Make her say UHHH na na na na

make her say UHHH na na na na

wanna make her say uh uh uh uh na na na na

make her say UuUuUhhh na na na na

 

ANGLESLAM

August 29, 2004

 

50 beautiful women, stretching from ringside all the way to the entranceway, holding the flags of almost every major nation, surround the ring; two lead ladies standing by the steel steps hold Old Glory (U.S. flag) & the Union Jet (U.K. flag) high in the air.

 

Quiet

I am sleeping

in here

We need a little hope

 

For years

I've been sleeping

Helpless

Couldn't tell a soul

 

Be ashamed

Of the mess you've made

My eyes never forget, you see

Behind me

 

J.R.

What a regal entrance from the tag champs. The ladies, who I assume represent the flags their holding up, are drop-dead gorgeous -- and I'm not talking about the film starting Denise Richards, aka Mrs. Rick Vaughn, and the 600-pound gorilla Kirstie Alley.

 

WATTS

Those boys know how to pick 'em.

 

The black and white smoke dispurses and out come the OAOAST tag champs, receiving a surprisely loud ovation. Dan, wearing his black trench coat and shades, asks T-Bod to spin around. He obliges, showcasing his $25,000 diamond studd red robe, with T-Bod written in rare rubies on the back.

 

J.R.

Look at 'em, Bill. Look at 'em! Such pride. Such class.

 

WATTS

Such arrogrance.

 

J.R.

But what a service they have done to tag team wrestling in the OAOAST. Owning every tag team they've faced since winning the gold on April 29, by defeating 3 teams in a one night tournament.

 

WATTS

I'm not taking anything away from them, they're both great wrestlers and deserves all the praise for restoring the tag titles, but these guys have let success go to their heads. I remember when Dan Black first walked into OAOAST headquaters after becoming General Manager of IZ, he thought he owned the place. He demanded his own secretary, office and corporate jet. As General Manager, he alienated half his talent roster, to the point then-HeldDown General Manager Northstar sucessfully used it to recruit IZ and other talent to HeldDown.

 

Dan & T-Bod pause at the ring steps, the two lead ladies kiss their respective countrymen on the lips and hand them a dozen roses. Black T smell the roses. After the refreshing smell of spring, they toss the roses to the other ladies ringside, nearly starting a riot.

 

* DING DING DING DING *

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HeldDown, and our main event of the evening sanctioned by the OAOAST board of directors and the state athletic commission, for the professional wrestling tag team championship of the world! After the bell rings, your referee in charge of the action, 3 times International Referee of the Year, Sir Miles Manchester. This match is set for one fall and is no DQ.

 

Introducing first, the challengers, from Hotlanta, Georgia, wearing baggy jean shorts and white throwback Spud Webb Atlanta Hawks jersey, SCOTTY STAAATIC. His partner, from Detriot, Michgan, wearing baggy black jeans and white puffy shirt, JOHNNY "JAM" JAAACKSSSON. They are the Global Party XChange!

 

GPX acknowledge the cheers of the crowd.

 

BUFFER (CONT'D)

Their opponents, first wearing black tights, multi-time tag team champion, a former United States Television champion, a former North American champion; ladies and gentlemen, from London, England, "The Ice Heart" Dan Black. His partner, from Hollywood U.S.A., wearing black tights with female artwork on the front...he's simply ravishing, T-Bod! They are the OAOAST tag team champions of the world, Black T~!

 

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready?

 

WOO! YEAH! LET'S HOOK 'EM UP!

 

BUFFER (CONT'D)

Then, for the thousands in attendence, and the millions watching live on TSM...L-L-L-LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

 

* DING DING *

 

OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

No Disqualification

The Global Party XChange vs. Black T

 

WATTS

What an introduction, Jim. I got chills. We, in the OAOAST, can't stress enough how proud we are of the resurgence of the tag team division. When you have great teams involved, like tonight for example, tag wrestling is a beautiful thing to watch. Although I'd like to point out to the fans that this match originally wasn't going to be no DQ -- both teams came to the board of directors and said they wanted these rules in place, and when two guys or teams come up to us and says "this is what we want" we give it to them.

 

J.R.

Amen to that. Dan & Scotty will start things off for their respective teams. Both men taking in their surrounds, this is a huge matchup/crowd. As we said, dignitaries from every professional in attendence -- celebrites, sports stars. I know for a fact the Queen of England called Black T before the bout wishing them the best of luck. Dan told Her Majesty they appreciated it, but they wouldn't need it. You gotta love the convidence exhibited by the champs.

 

CUT TO:

 

BACKSTAGE -- VARIOUS LOCKER ROOMS

 

Cameras are stationed inside the locker rooms of the New New Midnight Express, watching closely with their manager James E. Cornette; Hell's Hitmen, The Frankensteiners, the newly crowned HIYA tag team champions, from the promotion of the same name, the All-American Boys all watch from their dressing rooms.

 

J.R.

This match is a huge deals, fans. As you can see, every top tag team in the OAOAST is watching this match, praying their next-in-line for a title shot.

 

WATTS

And an announcement will be made next week about that, Jim.

 

Collar-and-elbow tieup. In the corner. Will we get a clean break? No, sir. Dan gingerly slaps Scotty across the face insultantly, then struts around the ring arrogantly. Scotty laughs it off. Once again, they lock up. Back in the corner. Dan tries to slap Scotty again, but it's blocked it and -- oh, what a slap.

 

WATTS

Dan just got the yellow on his teeth slapped off.

 

J.R.

We got a slap-fest going on in the ring. Back-and-forth they go, taking turns. Scotty takes control, rocking Black with rights and lefts. Down goes Dan! Dropkick sends Black back down. Back bodydrop. T-Bod comes in, and he's quickly taken down with a backdrop. Johnny 'Jam' Jackson joins his partner in the ring. They double clothesline T-Bod outside the ring, the momentum nearly sending Scotty outside as well but he skins the cat. Dan charges Scotty... who backdrops him up-and-over! Over the top onto T-Bod outside. Johnny's swinging Scotty around like a ragdoll...SUICIDE DIVE! He spun his partner around and then threw him between the middle rope, crashing into the champs.

 

The entire arena chants "GPX," as the guys are jumping up-and-down, obviously jacked up. Meanwhile on the outside, Dan & T-Bod pace back and forth, taking their time to regroup.

 

WATTS

The World's tag team champions are getting...what's the word for it, Jim? Owned.

 

J.R.

Black T shouldn't be worried. They experienced warriors. Look at GPX. They're jumping around the ring, spending valuable amounts of engery. The teacher always beats the student. Unless the student ends up sleeping with the teacher.

 

WATTS

The whole student/teacher thing doesn't apply here. Nevertheless, I have never, ever seen Black T get dominated so early in a match. Either they're not prepared, or they came in overly-confident; perhaps thinking they had the psychological advantage by bringing up the fact GPX have never beaten them. If they keep up this performance, tonight they'll be beaten. I will say this though: It took Michael Jordon and the Chicago Bulls 3 times to finally beat the Detriot Pistons before advancing -- and ultimately winning -- the NBA Finals. This is the third meeting between GPX and Black T.

 

J.R.

You of all people should know, this isn't basketball, Bill. This is the OAOAST. This is for the OAOAST World's tag team titles. That is the defending champions, Black T, in the ring. And this is HeldDown!

 

Dan & Scotty tag their partners in. The two power men on their respective teams will do battle. The artist -- and he's an artist, folks -- formerly known as Tony "The Body" and Johnny "Jam" Jackson go face-to-face, talkin' trash. With language that would make Ralphie's mom put soap in his mouth, both men push each other, neither giving an inch.

 

"You think you're hot shit, huh?" asks T-Bod.

 

"Word, bro. I'm hotter than Mars, beeyotch." qulps Johnny Jackson.

 

"Well, punk, I'm hot toilet paper, and I'm gonna wipe that hot shit off the floor."

 

J.R.

To hell with it say both. We got two guys throwing punches in the ring for one thing: the tinted blue gold. After a knee-lift T-Bod whips JJ into the ropes. He ducks under a clothesline, then a back elbow. SPIN WHEEL KICK drops the 6'6", 292 pounder, from Hollywood U.S.A.

 

JOHNNY! JOHNNY! JOHNNY!

 

Clothesline sends the big man down. Another. And another. Jackson comes off the ropes with a double-axehandle between the eyes. The cover.

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

J.R.

What? That's illegal ref. Johnny just nailed Dan -- who was minding his own business on the apron, I might add. Now the damn referee is keeping his fellow countrymen from entering the ring.

 

WATTS

It's the rules.

 

J.R.

Oh, screw the rules! Nobody follows them away. T-Bod counters a right with a back suplex. No, JJ flips over the top...low blow...FULL NELSON SLAM~! The sonabitch used a low blow and the referee didn't see it. That SOB is supposed to be a 3 time referee of the year, and he misses a low blow? No wonder Dan doesn't wrestle in the U.K.

 

1...

 

2...

 

T-Bod gets the shoulder up.

 

JJ runs to the corner, and comes off the top with a BIG SPLASH.

 

1...

 

2..

 

Kickout.

 

WATTS

Looks like they're trying to wear out the big man, hoping for a quick pin.

 

Tag made to Scotty. T-Bod tries to surprise him with a droptoe hold but Scotty leaps over it...SUPERKICK.

 

1...

 

2...

 

J.R.

Thank God. Dan came in and jerked Scotty off real good.

 

WATTS

Moonsault from the bottom rope. Another from the second rope. Scotty comes back on top for a third moonsault. No he doesn't. He hit a MOONSAULT LEGDROP. I've never seen that in my career, J.R. I wouldn't even thought of such a dangerous maneuver. He backed flipped, but instead of landing on his stomach onto his opponent he flipped and executed a legdrop. Incredible.

 

Instead of going for the pin, Scotty tags in Johnny, who was waiting on the top rope.

 

CANNONBALL~!

 

Another quick tag.

 

SHOOTING STAR PRESS~!

 

J.R.

No! T-Bod needs to make a tag. Make a tag, dammit!

 

1...

 

2...

 

3-- No! Dan broked up the count.

 

J.R.

(flabbergasted)

That's my pimp. God bless you, Mr. Black. On behalf of planet Earth, I salute you.

 

Camel Clutch applied. A large "REST HOLD" chant cues up, which makes Scotty wink to the crowd.

 

WATTS

Brilliant move by Scotty, Jim. I don't think the fans understand the strategy involved with submission maneuvers. For the last 3 minutes or so, they've -- Scotty & Johnny, that is -- have been going full-speed. Before the Great Angle Bash last month, the opening involved a quote from Thomas Jefferson saying "War is as much a punishment to the punisher as the suffer." So true in professional wrestling. Punishing your opponent takes as much outta you as it does to them. A submission hold allows a small breather for yourself while continuing to punish your opponent. Very effective.

 

J.R.

And they're working over T-Bod's back; something the New New Midnight Express capitalized on very well during their match at License to Pin this past weekend.

 

WATTS

But you can't use that as an excuse. Remember, Scotty & Johnny were involved in the deathmatch tournament, and they had to wrestle Hell's Hitmen. Both teams coming in wounded.

 

Johnny goes to Black T's corner and manages to make Dan chase him around the ring, eventually inside the ring where the ref holds Dan back, demanding his return to his corner. While all that was going on, Johnny took over the camel clutch...without a tag!

 

J.R.

(holding back his displeasure)

No tag made.

 

Sir Miles is befuddled. He didn't see a tag and begins questioning GPX. They tell Sir Miles to ask the fans if they'd made the tag. Of course the fans say yes.

 

J.R.

I don't see NFL officials asking the home team's fans if their team was holding. You know why? Because they're biased.

 

Scotty pulls T-Bod's legs back from the outside, upsetting Dan further, who once again gets held back -- or HeldDown~! -- trying to help his partner. Sir Miles double takes, questioning GPX...again. And again, the fans say there was a tag.

 

WATTS

Months back GPX said they're more focused than ever. We're seeing that tonight. I'm not condoning their actions, but it's no DQ.

 

J.R.

Then why are GPX acting, well...heelish?

 

WATTS

You gotta understand, they're not accustomed to rulebreaking. That's why, if you ask me -- and you did -- they don't want the referee to know they're up to some dirty tricks.

 

T-Bod slowly begins powering out of the camel clutch but Scotty keeps him grounded by ramming his BUTT into the lower back. Tony grimaces as Scotty Static wrenches his head back, adding as much pressure as possible. Scotty's forced to briefly let go of the hold because his hand was being bit by T-Bod, who sees his chance to escape vanish as Scotty once again rams the BUTT into the lower back. He goes for it again, but as you can guess, T-Bod flips around, thrusts the knees up -- Scotty lands hard.

 

J.R.

How's that for a nutcracker.

 

Scotty hurls over, eyes-widen... T-Bod with the small package.

 

1...

 

2...

 

3-- No, Johnny just managed to break up the count. Dan gets involved -- stiff clothesline for JJ. The referee tries to pry Dan off Johnny but cannot. Scotty grabs Black from behind. Bad mistake. Back leg kick brings da the pain to Scotty's family jewels. Dan...SLINGSHOT BRAINBUSTER. Black carries his partner to their corner. Tag, but Johnny distracted the referee, so he didn't see the tag. M orders his fellow countrymen out. "We made a tag," Black said, slapping his hands together. Sir Miles asks the crowd if there was indeed a tag.

 

BOO! NO TAG!

 

That's all M needed to hear, he walks Dan back to his corner. Upset with the crowd Dan gives them the double bird.

 

J.R.

That isn't right! That just isn't right. The referee cannot allow the fans to make his decisions for him.

 

WATTS

This isn't the Middle East or the old U.S.S.R., Jim. The fans are excising their right to free speech.

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout. The time passed between Dan's Slingshot Brainbuster and the tag not allowed gave Scotty more than enough time to kickout. T-Bod catches a kick from Scotty, smirking T-Bod tells Static "This one for your mama, bitch!"

 

ENZURGI~! T-Bod staggers around the ring before falling onto the middle rope, his head hanging out. Scotty tags Johnny, who shouts "313" (Rey Mistero's 619). Boom!

 

SPRINGBOARD SOMMERSAULT HURRICARANA!

 

1...

 

2...

 

BAM!

 

J.R.

WHOOM! WHOOM! God God Almightly, I swear Dan just took Johnny's head off.

 

WATTS

There's the first blantant use of the no DQ rule -- which both teams asked for, I'd like reminding you and the fans.

 

J.R.

I love it. Dan just got fed up with the BS and took care of business himself. Go, boys, go!

 

As Scotty enters the ring, Dan throws the chair at him like its a dart. It'll be sometime before that moron does anything worth while. Black drags T-Bod to his corner and tells the ref to watch closely. Dan slowly picks up T-Bod's hand and tags in, even entering the ring in slow motion for M. Ha! Now there's the tag. M saw that as clear as day. With the eye of the tiger, Black grabs the chair and starts beating the hell out of Johnny. The chair shot: a universal language. It's translated the same everywhere: pain. The edge of the chair is repeatedly driven into JJ's midsection. Black opens the steel folding chair. BLACK CRUSH (suplex into powerbomb)! That chair has been bented straight to hell. Say hello to Bradshaw for us.

 

1...

 

2...

 

3!

 

NO! Scotty broked up the count with a BIG SPLASH off the top, but little did he know that he'd overshoot Dan and end up smacking his head across one of the chair's legs, immediately busting him wide open.

 

The crowd goes nuts when T-Bod pulls A LADDER out from beneath the ring. T-Bod places it in the corner. Scotty's thrown chest first into the ladder. T-Bod slams Static's head across the steel rungs of the ladder 10 times, working over that wound over his left eye. Black T lift JJ up for a double-team POWERBOMB...ON THE LADDER (still located in the corner), and ON TOP OF SCOTTY~!

 

Scotty can barely stand up, jelly-legged. Well, Black T has a situation to his problem. T-Bod has Scotty in a spinebuster position, Dan off the ropes and...3-B, BLACK BODY DROP, ON THE LADDER~!

 

A "BLACK T" chant breaks out.

 

J.R.

I don't think they're cheering for Black T because they like them -- although they should -- but because of the performance they're -- both teams, for the matter -- putting on tonight.

 

The champs aren't done yet. T-Bod whips Johnny into the ropes. OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE (spinebuster) combined with Dan's BLACK BOMB, and we have another 3-B!

 

Dan with the cover...

 

Crowd counts along with Sir Miles.

 

1...

 

2...

 

3!

 

J.R.

He kicked out! He kicked out! He kicked out! Goddammit, he kicked out!

 

The Black T chant is quickly drowned out with a "GPX" chant.

 

WATTS

Dan & T-Bod can only look at each other in disbelief. For the last 5 minutes they beat the hell outta GPX, and someway, somehow, it wasn't enough. The drive for the belts is what keeping both team going. Any normal team would of been pinned long ago, but neither of these teams wants to leave the building tonight without the World's tag team championships. They won't be able to take comfort in knowing they put on a helluva match. It's the titles or bust. There's no positives if you don't win this match.

 

Dan holds Jackson up, as his partner hammers away with punches and kicks. As T-Bod goes to the outside to grab another steel chair, Dan works over JJ with clubbering shots to the back/upper neck. T-Bod squeeze's Johnny's checks before swinging for the fences. DOWN GOES DAN! T-Bod looks in horror as Scotty, with chair in hand, looking like he just walked off a George Romero movie due to all the blood on his face and white retro Spud Webb jersey, gives him a sinister smile. T-Bod cocks his chair back but Scotty hits him with his chair first, sending T-Bod's chair right back at him. T-Bod falls outside.

 

J.R.

T-Bod was about to nail Johnny with the chair, but Scotty whacked Dan from behind, causing him to let go of JJ and end up taking T-Bod's chair shot. What a wild match this has become. It started off as a wrestling match, but broked out into a brawl.

GPX place Dan's leg between the ladder's rungs. They rock the ladder back and forth. They're going to push the ladder down to the mat with Dan attached! He's holding off for dear life. GPX jerk the ladder harder and harder, obviously a ton of experience jerking things off. GOOD GOD! Not only did Dan take the plunge, but he took the turnbuckle with him. The top rope is down! Dan is down! T-Bod is down! We're gonna have new champions dammitt! No!

 

SPLIT SCREEN shows all the teams shake their heads. Even they can't believe the action inside the ring.

 

WATTS

The ring crew will be gettin' their money's worth tonight.

 

Scotty's perched on the middle rope, his back facing Black. Johnny reverse bodyslams Scotty onto the ladder, where Dan is stuck underneath. Not only is it painful for Dan, it is for Scotty as well.

 

1...

 

2...

 

3-- T-Bod, now bleeding as well, pulled Sir Miles outta the ring, saving the titles for the time being.

 

Johnny goes after T-Bod, but Tony pulls him down and slides him into the ringpost, groin first. T-Bod helps Dan get loose from the ladder before throwing it outside the ring, which wasn't so hard to do now that there's no top rope. RUDE AWAKENING for Scotty. All four men are down, exhausted from the intense action.

 

WATTS

Wh-What's Johnny doin'? He's setting up the ladder...outside, Jim.

 

J.R.

What in the world is he doing. Oh God!

 

WATTS

He's climbing the ladder. He's gonna jump off the ladder into the ring. T-Bod sees what Johnny's doing, andthrows a chair at him! My God, the brutality of it.

 

J.R.

Strike 3. You're out! Johnny's slumped over the top rung. T-Bod's going to meet him. Good Lord, no! He's gonna suplex him from the ladder to the floor.

 

WATTS

Oh no, he can't. He wouldn't.

 

J.R.

Hell, yes, he would. Johnny's fighting it off. He has his leg wrapped around a rung. T-Bod's trying to power Jacko up. Thumb -- Johnny 'Jam' Jackson thumbed T-Bod. The crowd's counting along as JJ slams T-Bod's head on ladder. No. No!

 

SUPERPLEX FROM THE LADDER TO THE RING~!

 

The ring COLLASPES!

 

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

 

The maneuver was so devestating the impact caused Johnny to float on top of T-Bod.

 

Quick shot of the teams watching backstage in awe.

 

J.R.

Everybody's down. Johnny superplexed T-Bod from the ladder all the way into the ring, landing on that fallen rope/turnbuckle pad, and lemme tell you, folks -- yeah, it's padded, but falling from that distance onto something that isn't flat hurts.

 

WATTS

The teams watching on their monitors backstage are as shocked as we are.

 

1...

 

2...

 

3!

 

J.R.

Noooooooo!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, history has been made. You winners, and new World tag team champions, Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson -- the Global Party XChange!

 

J.R. drops his headset and enters the ring, checking on his boys.

 

BALLOONS & CONFETTI fall from the ceiling, FIREWORKS go off everywhere... a little of everything is happening inside the arena. The camera pans around catching the reaction of the fans: laughter, tears, sighs of relief.

 

WATTS

You gotta applaude the efforts of both teams, fighting not because somebody spilled coffee on them, because they had sex with a corpse, or because a wrestler's mental challenge; just for a championship, that's not a hard concept to understand like our friends on a network named after a tool/director who hasn't had a hit in a long time. T-Bod's coughing up blood, Dan's lying outside, Johnny's holding his ribs, Scotty's the only one who can celebrate but even he's too tired to do much. Sir Miles awards Scotty both belts, as he checks on his partner.

 

After looking over his fallen heroes, Jivin' J.R. takes off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves. Looks like the Farmer of Champions is going to take matters into his own hands, but not if Scotty Static has anything to say about it. Scotty spins J.R. around, hits him in the stomach with the tag title, then knocks him out with a closed fist.

 

WATTS

Well that was uncalled for. W-Wait a minute. We got some comotion going on.

 

THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS & James E. Cornette hit the ring. Cornette beats Johnny with his tennis racket, while his men pound Scotty in the corner. Irish Whip. FLAPJACK.

 

Simon drives the tag title into Scotty's bloody face, then climbs the ladder stationed outside the ring. Narcissistic Ned bearhugs Scotty before bending him backwards. Simon off the ladder with...THE VEGOMATIC~! (flying legdrop)

 

Ned covers Scotty. Cornette with the count...

 

1...

 

2...

 

3!

 

The Chairman of the board drops his headset and warns Cornette to take his boys and leave. James E. brushes him off, and invites Bill into the ring. Even though he's a tough SOB, Watts is in his 60s, even he knows he's limited. Cornette grabs the microphone.

 

CORNETTE

Ladies and gentlemen, your winners and NEW OAOAST tag team champions -- two men who know the meaning to the phrase "possesion is nine tenths of the law" --"Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic Ned", the New New Midnight Express!

 

SPLIT SCREEN: Cornette & the Midnights leaving with the tag titles in their posession, and Black T & GPX laid out in the collasped ring.

 

HeldDOWN~!

COPYRIGHT 2004

OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT

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