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Stephen Joseph

World Without End 2004

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Opening Music: Trick Daddy, Let's Go

 

Lets Gooooo! (Lets Gooooo!)

If you want it you can get it let me know (let me know),

I'm bout to fuck a nigga up, Lets Gooooo! (Lets Gooooo!)

If you want it you can get it let me know (let me know),

I'm bout to fuck a nigga up, Lets Gooooo! (Lets Gooooo!)

 

[Trick Daddy:]

If you want some, come get some,

cuz where I'm from we tote big guns,

And everybody know somebody that

know somebody that know somethin bout it,

And I want answers now who, what, where,

when and why,

see, a lotta dudes like to act a fool

and all get all loud but that aint my style,

and he who he gonna get and what he gonna do,

run up on me if he want to,

Out there impressin his homies,

but he stood up in front of his mama,

I mop up the flo wit em,

And I kick in the door and let the .44 get em,

I got fools that'll go get em,

This for him, the crew and the dudes that run wit em.

 

Lets Gooooo! (Lets Gooooo!)

If you want it you can get it let me know (let me know),

I'm bout to fuck a nigga up, Lets Gooooo! (Lets Gooooo!)

If you want it you can get it let me know (let me know),

I'm bout to fuck a nigga up, Lets Gooooo! (Lets Gooooo!)

 

::Fade to Black, cue voiceover::

 

All Hallow's Eve, a time of darkness , a worship of the unknown, unexplainable, inexplicable. Is it a gateway to another world, or just a figment of our wild imaginations?

 

Be afraid, be very afraid.

 

For we each are haunted.

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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Cold Opening (Outside the Arena)

 

“What did we tell you guys before?! You don’t have authorized access, GET OUT! And I don’t want to see both of you again!”

 

A loud voice is heard from outside of the arena as the main doors open and out flies Chris and James, both hitting the concrete hard before looking up and seeing security just inside the door, pointing for both of them to vacate.

 

“Oh man, Chris, you know what this means?”

 

”Yeah, it means I’m going back in there!”

 

“You can’t! They’ll kill us!”

 

”He said we BOTH can’t come back in. Well you can sit out here and I’m going in!”

 

“What!? Hell no, chump! That’s all me!”

 

James and Chris begin to slap each other, but stop after a few seconds.

 

“This won’t get us anywhere,” Chris yells. “how about a contest?”

 

”What kind of contest?”

 

“Best two out of three. Rock, Paper, Scissors first, and the winner gets to choose the next event, and whomever wins two first gets to go in!”

 

“Then GO!”

 

The two men shake their first and fire off… James comes up with paper, and Chris comes up with…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…scissors.

 

“Aw crap!”

 

James curses under his breathe as Chris celebrates, and then points out toward the parking lot.

 

“The second event…HIDE AND SEEK!”

 

The cameras fade to black as Chris covers his eyes and James runs off, trying to get as far away as possible.

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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*The cage is constructed around the ring as the fans cheer. This is a black barred cage like the blue ones the WWF used to use.*

 

COLE

What a way to start off tonight's event, World Without End. I'm Michael Cole Ringside with the Coach and the engimatic Caboose. Triple C in the hishouse!

 

CABOOSE

Never say that again.

 

Cole

OAOAST Executives decided earlier today that we're going to start off the night with a main event matchup. It is time for the cage match between The Machine and Justice Inc. Not only is pride on the line, but Parka and Jude must compete in this match in order to get the serum needed to keep Blurricane and Jude alive.

 

COACH

That seems easy enough. I doubt that Parka and Jude would back out of the match.

 

CABOOSE

Unless they’re scared.

 

COLE

That’s ridiculous…wait…I’m getting word from the back that we may have a problem.

 

*We cut backstage where Josh Matthews is standing with The Parka outside his dressing room.*

 

JOSH

Parka what is going on?

 

PARKA

Sadly Jude is in no condition to wrestle tonight. It seems JAE and Cain conveniently put all but one vile of serum in our bundle and Jude graciously let Blurricane take the last one.

 

*Josh looks like he’s about to cry*

 

JOSH

He’s not dead is he!?

 

PARKA

No…and stop yelling in my ear you freak! He’s just not in any condition to wrestle.

 

JOSH

But if you don’t go out there you won’t get the serum.

 

PARKA

Don’t worry Josh I will be out there. Once I realized that Jude wouldn’t be able to wrestle I took care of things and this match will go on.

 

JOSH

Who is going to be your partner?

 

PARKA

You’ll just have to wait and see.

 

JOSH

Well there you have it guys. Back out to you.

 

CABOOSE

Well I was right…they’re scared.

 

*Big Machine by Velvet Revolver begins and the fans boo mercilessly. JAE and Cain come out on stage holding a bundle of the serum in the air and laughing.*

 

COLE

This makes me sick.

 

CABOOSE

Maybe you need the serum?

 

BUFFER

Coming to the ring, from Washington D.C., the team of J. Arthur Edwards and Christopher Cain, THE MACHINE!!!!

 

*JAE and Cain test the sturdiness of the cage before climbing inside through the door and posing on the turnbuckles.*

 

COACH

It’s good to see the OAOAST go old school with the barred cage.

 

CABOOSE

What do you know about old school?

 

COACH

It had Will Farrell in it.

 

CABOOSE

Oh geez…I set myself up for that one.

 

*The music dies down and is replaced by California Love by Tupac and Dr. Dre. The fans cheer as Parka drives the El Camino out onto the stage and makes it bounce. Parka steps out with a mic in hand and motions for the crowd to calm down for a second.*

 

PARKA

As you all know Jude cannot wrestle tonight, but I’m not backing down when my friends’ lives are at stake. I went and called a good friend to come and be my partner tonight. Some of you may know this man.

 

COLE

Who is it?

 

COACH

Shhhh.

 

PARKA

One year ago this man and I set the tag team world on fire.

 

COLE

Oh my God…it can’t be.

 

*The fans cheer as they think they know who is coming out.*

 

PARKA

That’s right, for one night only I give you the return of…THE DREAM MACHINES!!!!!

 

COLE

Whoa!!!

 

CABOOSE

Damn…I wasn’t expecting that.

 

*Oh Hell Yeah by H-Blocx plays as Peter Knight makes his way onto the stage and the fans stand and cheer.*

 

BUFFER

Coming to the ring for the first time in many months, former two time tag team champions, the team of Peter Knight and The Parka, THE DREAM MACHINES!!!!!

 

COACH

I just realized that this makes it The Dream Machines vs. The Machine. How ironic.

 

CABOOSE

Wow I’m sitting next to sheer brilliance.

 

COLE

Thank you.

 

CABOOSE

Set myself up for that one too.

 

*PK and Parka walk to the ring as JAE and Cain stare them down.*

 

CABOOSE

Notice how JAE and Cain didn’t throw a fit or anything. That’s because they’re not afraid. This isn’t about tag team titles or anything like that. This is about putting this feud to an end.

 

COLE

No it’s about playing with people’s lives!

 

CABOOSE

Well yeah that too.

 

COLE

I understand that this will be Texas Tornado style in that all four men will remain in the ring at once. Victory will come by pinfall or submission only I also understand.

 

*All four men are in the ring as the bell sounds.*

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

All four of them stare each other down while waiting for the other team to make a move. Parka demands to see the serum, but JAE shakes his head no and says they’ll get it once the match is over. Parka starts to charge at JAE, but PK holds him back and tells him to calm down.

 

COLE

Oh come on! Give him the serum already!

 

CABOOSE

What? So they can run off like cowards?

 

COLE

Don’t be ridiculous.

 

PK and Parka go to a corner and talk strategy while JAE and Cain charge in. Parka and PK notice them coming and both quickly nail their counterpart in the gut with a punch. PK and Cain pair off while Parka and JAE pair off. PK grabs Cain by the head and begins slamming it into the cage wall. Each time PK slams his head Cain just comes back with a smile on his face. The two of them then viciously trade punches back and forth as Parka whips JAE to the ropes and hits a Back Body Drop. Parka quickly nails Cain in the back of the head with a forearm and allows PK to hoist Cain onto his shoulder. PK then shoots Cain headfirst into the cage with a Snake Eyes!

 

COLE

Did you hear that impact!

 

CABOOSE

Did he get his finger caught in there?

 

COLE

Oh come on that joke is old! Plus this isn’t a chain-link cage!

 

Cain bounces off a little shaken as PK waits for him to turn around. Parka catches a standing JAE with a Flying Leg Lariat that takes him back down and PK grabs Cain. PK goes to lift Cain, but Cain breaks the hold with a forearm to the back and lifts PK with a Double Choke!

 

COLE

Look at that strength! PK isn’t a small guy!

 

COACH

How would you know?

 

CABOOSE

Oh Coach that’s it!

 

*Caboose tapes Coach’s mouth shut*

 

Cain’s chokehold is broken as Parka hits a Dropkick to his back and PK lands on his feet. PK then nails Cain with a Clothesline at the same time as Parka hits a Chop Block!

 

COLE

They just flipped Cain almost out of his boots!!

 

During the action PK and Parka forgot about JAE and he managed to climb to the top rope and come off with a Flying Cross Body to Parka!

 

1

 

 

 

NO!! The count is broken up by PK!

 

COLE

JAE had to have known that wouldn’t work with PK still walking around!

 

PK goes to grab JAE, but Cain is up and nails PK in the lower back with a forearm. Cain then whips PK to the ropes and hits a hard Sidewalk Slam that actually lands PK right on top of Parka!

 

COLE

Whoa!!

 

COACH

Mmmphuhhmuhhh

 

CABOOSE

You said it Coach!

 

JAE stands and pulls PK to his feet as Cain hits a Spear that slams PK right into the cage wall! The whole cage shakes and the crowd lets out a loud “uhhh.”

 

COLE

They’re gonna break this cage I just know it!

 

PK stumbles out and JAE lifts him onto his shoulders for The Objection! JAE hits the move and goes for a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

No!!

 

Parka starts to get up, but Cain grabs him and hooks him upside down on the cage wall in the Tree of Woe position before giving JAE the “he’s all yours” gesture. JAE quickly hits a Dropkick that bounces Parka’s head off the cage wall! Parka dangles in the air nearly unconscious as the fans boo The Machine. JAE yanks Parka down from the wall and he lands hard on the top rope before bouncing back into the ring.

 

COLE

They don’t even care if they injure him!

 

CABOOSE

Come on it’s wrestling. You have to accept that you will get hurt.

 

As JAE and Cain gloat PK catches JAE by surprise with a Clothesline that almost knocks him out of his boots! Cain runs at him and PK hits a Flapjack that sends Cain throat first across the top rope! Cain snaps back and falls to the mat as PK stands with his arm in the air! He then helps Parka to his feet, but Parka is only half conscious as he stumbles around.

 

COLE

They tore Parka up!

 

JAE is up and catches PK with a low blow while he’s trying to help Parka. PK doubles over in pain as JAE begins nailing him with knee strikes to the gut. JAE then hooks him for a Gut Buster and holds on to do it two more times! JAE then shifts him into a Bodyslam position and tosses him to the mat. Cain is to his feet and hits a Legdrop across PK’s throat. Cain then sees Parka running out of the corner and catches him with boot to the gut followed by an Exploder Powerslam that rocks the ring!

 

COLE

It looks like The Machine if firing on all cylinders.

 

CABOOSE

Don’t start with the clichés Cole!

 

Cain goes for a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

No!!

 

JAE motions for Cain to lift PK up. Cain goes to grab PK, but PK kicks Cain in the side of the head! Cain shakes it off, but PK nails him again with a kick before standing. PK then grabs Cain and whips him to the ropes before hitting a Big Boot that causes Cain to stumble back into the cage wall! Before Cain can recover PK runs at him, but JAE cuts him off with a Spear! JAE acts quickly and hits a Standing SSP!

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

No!!

 

JAE stands, but Parka grabs him from behind and hits a Half Nelson Suplex that drops JAE right on his head!

 

COLE

What a vicious suplex!

 

CABOOSE

That will scramble your brain cells.

 

COLE

I thought you said not to use clichés?

 

COACH

Mmmph…mehhhhhph..

 

CABOOSE

What about Coach? He just used two clichés!

 

COLE

How? His mouth is taped!

 

Parka goes for a cover of his own.

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

No! Cain breaks up the count.

 

Cain pulls Parka up by the hair and lifts him into a Gorilla Press before tossing him right into the cage wall so that he hits back first! Parka bounces off and hits the mat face first with a loud thud as Cain laughs. Cain’s laughing is short lived as PK is back up and grabs him for a STO! Cain holds the back of his head in pain as PK has been focusing his attacks there. PK then sees JAE begin to stand and plows over him with a hard Shoulder Block! The fans cheer as PK raises his arms in the air.

 

COLE

PK has regained control of this match for the Dream Machines!

 

PK then helps Parka to his feet and tells him to do something. Parka then pulls JAE up into an elevated Bear Hug as PK gets a head of steam and hits a Clothesline. Parka made sure to stand by the cage wall and instead of going down JAE’s head slammed right into the wall as PK nailed the Clothesline to finish The Awakening.

 

COLE

Man it has been a long time since we’ve seen The Dream Machines do that!

 

CABOOSE

Well duh they haven’t been teaming for awhile!

 

COACH

Uhhhhmmmph!!

 

CABOOSE

What’s that!?

 

*Caboose rips the tape off Coach’s mouth*

 

COACH

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I said that it’s a shame that they haven’t been teaming up.

 

Parka goes for a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

3

 

 

No!!

 

Parka is pulled off of JAE violently by Cain, but PK knocks Cain off of Parka with a hard forearm shot to the face! PK and Cain begin trading punches back and forth, but Cain gains the advantage and then whips PK hard into the cage wall. The wall creaks loudly as PK hits it and the fans cheer.

 

COLE

Did I just hear that thing creak? I have a bad feeling about this.

 

Cain wastes no time in Splashing PK against the wall and then whipping a standing JAE towards him. JAE flies in with a splash of his own and PK stumbles forward. Cain then grabs him and hits a hard Chokeslam before motioning that it’s over. Cain then pulls PK back up and goes for a Quick Death, but Parka comes to life and hits another Chop Block to Cain’s leg! PK falls on top of Cain, but JAE quickly pulls him off before the ref can count. Parka then jumps over a laying Cain and nails JAE with a Flying Forearm! JAE goes down to the mat and Parka tells PK to pull Cain to his feet.

 

COLE

Now what?

 

PK actually lifts Cain into the Electric Chair position as Parka scales the cage and the fans cheer! Parka goes all the way to the top of the cage and signals that he’s going for it.

 

COLE

Is Parka going to try the Dream Catcher off the cage!?

 

CABOOSE

No way!

 

JAE springs to life and pulls Cain off of PK’s shoulders as Cain and JAE toss PK head first into the cage. Suddenly the cage wall gives way with Parka on top and falls towards the entry ramp! Parka manages to get on top of the wall, but the impact sends him bouncing off and to the floor beside the ramp!!

 

COLE

Holy Shit Parka is dead!!

 

COACH

Thank God that fell towards the ramp and not the crowd!

 

The fans chant “Holy Shit” as Parka rolls on the floor in pain. Cain quickly lifts PK into position for the Quick Death and hits it, but the ref is checking on Parka on the outside! Cain yells for the ref to come back into the ring as he goes for a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

3

 

 

No!!! PK kicks out!!

 

The fans cheer as the ref holds up two fingers instead of three. Cain complains about the count as JAE pulls PK to his feet and goes for the Rolling Fireman’s Carry Takedown! As JAE runs forward PK actually slips out and shoves JAE face first into one of the remaining cage walls. PK stumbles around a second before Cain comes after him. Cain tries to lift him for a Samoan Drop, but PK fights out and hoists Cain onto his shoulders for the Knightmare! However, PK doesn’t have the strength to do the move and Cain slips out. Cain then goes for a Full Nelson Slam, but PK breaks free again and turns around before grabbing Cain for a quick STO! PK goes for a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

No!! JAE breaks up the count and pulls PK to his feet.

 

JAE hits a quick Judo Toss and follows it with a Moonsault Pin.

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

3

 

 

No!!

 

JAE gets back up and climbs to the top rope. He waits for PK to stand and then comes off with a Missile Dropkick that sends PK stumbling back to where the cage wall used to be. PK uses the ropes to keep from falling over, but he seems woozy. Cain and JAE then whip PK to the other side of the ring before going for a Double Chokeslam. PK fights his way out and begins nailing both men with rights and lefts. JAE swings at PK, but PK ducks and the punch nails Cain. JAE apologizes, but PK uses the opportunity to perform a Double Noggin Knocker!

 

COACH

Now that’s old school!

 

CABOOSE

Am I gonna have to tape you mouth again!?

 

Cain stumbles back against the ropes on the side without a cage wall and PK Clotheslines him over. Cain lands hard on the collapsed cage wall and lets out a scream in pain. JAE runs at PK, but PK hoists him into position for the Knightmare and hits it!

 

COLE

That’s it!!

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

COLE

They did it!!!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen, your winners, THE DREAM MACHINES!!!!

 

The fans cheer as PK goes to check on Parka and helps him to his feet. PK raises both their arms in victory as the fans cheer louder. PK and Parka begin looking for the Serum around ringside. They find the pouch that JAE had earlier, but it’s empty! The fans boo as JAE asks for a mic inside the ring.

 

J. ARTHUR

Did you think I’d bring that stuff to ringside? You didn’t even hold up to your end of the bargain! I said that Parka and JUDE had to show up for the match!! Therefore you don’t get the serum!

 

The fans boo mercilessly as JAE exits the ring and pulls Cain off the cage wall before leaving in a hurry.

 

COLE

I can’t believe this!!

 

COACH

Does this mean that Jude and the Blurricane are going to die!?

 

CABOOSE

Oh don’t tell me you’re gonna cry!

 

COLE

I am in shock. I thought JAE was more of a man than that! Let’s cut to something else!

 

COACH

Taking it back to Jackie Gayda with Panther in the back!

 

The scene cuts backstage, where we see Jackie Gayda standing alongside Panther and Tina; Tina's wearing a red and white "Superwoman" baseball cap, matching baby-tee and tight blue jeans, while Panther's clad in his "Panther 215" gear (white jersey/shorts with black lettering/trim) and a pair of shades. The crowd pops inside the arena as their image appears on the Angletron.

 

JACKIE

Fans, I'm back here alongside Panther, and later on tonight, you'll be going one-on-one with Drek Stone. It'll be a ladder match; the winner will be declared winner of the Round Robin tournament. Now Panther, Drek has had a lot to say coming into this match. He feels as if it's his destiny to hold the OAOAST Championship, that you don't deserve a shot at the title...he even went as far as accusing you of paying off your opponents in order to get as far as you have in the tournament. Now Panther, you've been fairly quiet over the last couple of months, and you've just been taking it all in, but I...and I'm sure all the fans wanna know just what you've got to say regarding those comments from Drek Stone.

 

With a smirk on his face, Panther removes his shades and hangs them from the collar of his jersey. He then pulls the mic to his lips and looks into the camera.

 

PANTHER

Well, Miss Jackie, I've heard everything that Drek Stone has had to say. Telling the world how I don't deserve a title shot. How I haven't busted my ass. Well Jackie, everything that Drek has been saying...all his little cheap shots, his little accusations...Jackie, those have been lies, and that right there is the fundamental difference between me and him. Because you see, Jackie, I don't lie! Everybody knows that I speak...the fucking...

 

CROWD

TRUTH!!!

 

PANTHER

(smiles) damn right, and Reckless Drek is fixing to get a lethal dose of it in just a matter of moments. You see Drek Stone talks about how much he deserves the title shot. Gets a few cheap wins here and there and wants to come out and yap about how hard he's worked to get to this point. Well you wanna talk work, Drek? You wanna talk busting your ass?! Well make no mistake about it, Drek: I've been busting my ass for the last 8 years, and I've been through more hardship--more hell in the last 2 and a half years than a lot of people ever experience in their entire lives. See, a year ago when I came back to wrestling--when I came to the OAOAST--my life was at its lowest point. I had lost my wife...my family, I had no job, and I was scraping the bottom of the barrel just to get by. The only thing I had in my life at the time...the only reason I was able to keep my head above water was because of this woman right here (points to Tina), and the only way for me to get back on my feet was for me to return to this god forsaken business, a business that--make no mistake about it--I *HATE* from the bottom of my heart. A business that's made my life miserable...a business I swore to myself that I would never EVER come back to again. But I had to do it, and in the year I've been back, I've had to put up with so much shit...so much drama. From Brock Ausstin's shit, to Chris Bryte...Kevin Taylor, The Hand, seeing one of my longtime friends killed right in front of me! I've had to overcome all of that to get to this point...to get this opportunity, and I'll be damned if I don't make the most of it here tonight!

 

Panther pauses and takes a deep breath. The camera slowly zooms in on his face as a look of determination builds up in his face.

 

PANTHER

See, I could be like Drek and tell all these people that it's my destiny to win this match...that it's my destiny to be the World Champ. Well I won't do that...truth is, I don't even want the damn thing. But the thing is...I *NEED* that title! I need to be a Champion. Not for the glory of it. I've been there and I've done that. A belt itself doesn't mean a thing to me anymore. But in order for me to get my life back on track...in order for me to get myself to the point that I don't have to rely on this rotten business anymore, I need to have that title. And Drek, you had damn sure better believe that I will stop at nothing...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...when it comes to getting it. I don't care what I have to do. I don't care who or what I have to go through. Bottom line is that the title WILL belong to me! And Drek, like it or not, love me or hate me, there ain't a damn thing you can do to stop me, BECAUSE THERE CAN'T BE ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!

 

JACKIE

Thank you, Panther, and as always I wish you the best of luck in your match here tonight. Right now, let's take it back to TRIPLE C~! for our next match.

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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COACH

Well, what a night we've had so far!

 

COLE

I'll say! Now, we've got the debut of The Phenom, and I've got to say, this guy looks like trouble.

 

CABOOSE

You're only saying that because of what happened to you on your other show.

 

COLE

We're not talking about that.

 

(The stage goes black.)

 

Cue: 'Seven Nation Army'

 

(Spotlight comes up on The Phenom. Mixed reactions from the crowd.)

 

COACH

Well, the guy knows how to make an entrence!

 

COLE

I just don't trust him. He's got the face of a madman!

 

COACH

Oh, come on, he's not going to harm you!

 

(The PHENOM GRABS A MIC)

 

PHENOM

Hello, everyone. Are you ready for a real fight?

 

(Pop)

 

PHENOM

That's what I thought. So I'm posing a question to anyone in the locker room. If you want a fight with me, come out right now.

 

Cue: (Generic Salsa Music)

 

(Gunn-esque pop for Pheonix,who runs to the ring)

 

COLE

Well, It looks like Pheonix wants to face The Phenom!

 

CABOOSE

He can't do that! He'll be eaten alive!

 

(Pheonix is in the ring, looking ready to fight.)

 

PHENOM

Oh, come on! You want to face me? You'll be destroyed! You know what? I'm not going to face the likes of you!

 

(Scattered Boos)

 

PHENOM

So you just go back into that locker room, and...

 

Cue: 'Frankenstein'

 

(Big Pop)

 

CABOOSE

It looks like.....Frank Frankensteiner wants a match!

 

COLE

Well, good job Phenom! Now you've got to face one of the toughest men in the OAOAST!

 

PHENOM

(off-mic) Come On!

 

*ding ding ding*

 

Headlock. Phenom gets some kicks in, but Frank gets in a good swipe to break it up. Phenom attempts a clothesline, but Frank moves out of the way and hits a superkick. Frank grabs Phenom for a suplex, but Phenom give a kick to the head to knock him down. Cover-up.

 

One!

Two!

Kickout!

 

COLE

What offence from the rookie Phenom!

 

Phenom picks Frank up and throws him to the ropes and pulls a reverse-clothesline. Phenom attempts the pin, but Frank trips him and goes for the pin himself.

 

One!

Twkickout!

 

Frank starts to kick at Phenom, who rolls out of the ring. Count starts.

 

One!

 

Phenom goes back to the ropes, bounce off, and hits a Hellraiser! Coverup.

 

One!

Twokickout!

 

COACH

The Ohio State graduate is barly hanging in there!

 

Phenom turns around to get to the ropes, but Frank grabs him and hits a suplex. Coverup.

 

One!

Two!

Thkickout!

 

CABOOSE

What a show being put up by both men! I...I think Frank's going to...yes! The Frankensteinerrana!

 

Sure enough, Frank goes up to attempt the Frankensteinerrana, but as he attempts to hit it, Phenom catches Frank and pulls off the Porto-bomb! Coverup!

 

One!

 

Two!

 

Three!

 

*ding ding ding*

 

Cue: 'Seven Nation Army'

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner, THE PHENOM!

 

COLE

What an ending!

 

CABOOSE

I don't think anyone has reversed the Frankensteinerrana in my years as an announcer!

 

COACH

Well, I see big things from this Phenom guy!

 

COLE

I tell you, I've covered Serbian Genocide, the Branch Davidian Compoud, and the Oklahoma City Bombing, and none of them scare me as much as The Phenom!

 

COACH

Well, stay tuned, we've got more action coming up, including Hoff vs. Crystal for the World Championship!

 

CABOOSE

Go Hoff!

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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Back to the action, Michael Cole is ringside after the ring has been cleared from our last match. Remember, by the Zack Malibu or Crystal blow-up dolls, only $39.99 plus shipping and handling.

 

COLE

Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome the newest tag team in the OAOAST...the South Central Militia.

 

Public Enemy's "Don't Believe the Hype" blares in the arena, but instead of coming out through the entranceway, the S.C.M. come out from the crowd. They take the microphone away from Cole.

 

MARCELLUS

Get out of here, bitch! After the cowboy and his gang debated whether or not the world could handle us, finally the South Central Militia -- Marcellus Wallace & Whitey Ford -- have arrived. It's not uncommon to see video packages hyping a new wrestler(s) debut -- but me & Whitey had one, just one. You know why? Because The Man deemed we weren't "family friendly." Fuck that PC bullshit! The S.C.M. are from the streets. Hey, there's some fat broad in the front row bitching about my language.

 

COLE

We apologize fans. These guys are very outspoken.

 

COACH

They're the spokesman for the ghetto experience.

 

The camera cuts to a HUSKY WOMAN with her small children.

 

MARCELLUS

Fuck you, bitch! Shove that pizza in your mouth and shut da fuck up. Leave bitch! Leave! We're real. I bet nobody here has seen somebody killed right in front of ya. I bet nobody here has killed a cocksucker. We've seen all that shit. Goddamn, I even lost a fuckin' eye.

 

COLE

A couple of fans, the same fans who appeared at a number of OAOAST events before the OAOAST got a restraining order against them, are threatening to jump over the guardrailing. They're wearing black jumpsuits and holding "Make Love, Not War" signs. OAOAST and arena security surround the fans, in order to keep things calm. These two troublemakers obviously found a way inside the arena.

 

CABOOSE

Probably from buying tickets, Cole.

 

The SCM exit the ring and go up to the heckling fans. All 4 men exchange some very heated words.

 

COLE

Come on, now. We don't want this.

 

WHITEY

You bitches wanna fight? You want some? Huh?! Well, down in South Central we settles scores one way...with our fists! You PC motherfuckers remind of that dot with the comma on the bottom. I think it's called a semi-colon. What's the fuck is that?! The comma and the colon screwing each other. That shit's incest! I don't even know when I'm supposed to use the motherfucker. Now I'll never be able to take a dump without thinking that long, hard straight piece shit comin' out my ass is the comma underneath the colon.

 

One of the fans throws a punch at Marcellus, who ducks and shoves another fan down, taking away his chair, then THROWS THE CHAIR INTO THE CROWD! The S.C.M. pull the two hecklers over the railing, who are struggling to get away, and toss them into the ring. Surprising, security forces let the SCM beat up the fans.

 

SCM absolutely brutalize those two peace lovers, pounding their fists in their faces among other cheapshots. Marcellus with the POS (Piece of Shit--DOUBLE-ARM DDT). The S.C.M. simultaneous SPEAR/FLYING FOREARM combo, aka JAILBREAK, on the second fan. They remove the hippie lovers' jumpsuits, leaving the fans in their boxer shorts.

 

CABOOSE

Ha! New attire.

 

WHITEY

Let that be a lesson to all the ho's in the back. We're here for one thing, and one thing only: the OAOAST tag team championship! Whoever wins tonight's tag team title match -- the SCM is ready to bust a cap in yo' ass. We want the gold.

 

MARCELLUS

Freedom of speech...Just watch whatcha say.

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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We come back to a shot of Referee Christopher Canberra in the ring, not in referee gear, but in a black tracksuit, looking pretty worried.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP! In the ring, the challenger, Referee CHRISTOPHER CANBERRA!

 

CABOOSE

Anyone like squash? I know I do.

 

COLE

Well for once Caboose, I’m going to agree with you on this one. The referees have their job and the wrestlers have theirs. This guy Canberra should have known better than to get involved in Gunner Sharps’ matches, he must have a death wish!

 

COACH

In case you weren’t watching lets have a look at what happened in the match between Gunner Sharps and Panther three weeks ago…

 

*HeldDown logo flashes over the screen*

 

The referee gets to his feet…

 

 

 

 

 

..AND CALLS FOR THE BELL!

 

Gunner stops dead, and Panther slides off of his back! Both men look perplexed by the ringing of the bell!

 

 

COLE

WHAT?

 

CABOOSE

What the hell is this referee doing?

 

The referee walks over to Michael Buffer, and begins telling him his ruling. Buffer, looking puzzled by the decision, announces it to the capacity crowd.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen, due to his assault on the referee earlier in the match, Gunner Sharps has been DISQUALIFIED! So YOUR WINNER… PAAAAAAAANTHEEEEEERRRRRR!!!

 

Gunner is LIVID with the call, and he gets right in the referees face for it. The ref points to his logo and actually SMIRKS at Gunner, saying that he can’t do anything about it.

 

COLE

The referee is walking a fine line here!

 

Gunner looks to the crowd, a scowl on his face, and responds with “I CAN’T TOUCH YOU? WATCH ME!” and floors him with a right hand!

 

COACH

That referee, I believe it is Referee Christopher Canberra, made the wrong call, and now he’s paying for it! Gunner doesn’t care about fines or money, he wants revenge!

 

Gunner jumps off the top… and DRIVES the Referee through the table with a TOP ROPE ALL GUNS BLAZING!

 

CABOOSE

Oh…my…god.

 

*HeldDown logo flashes over the screen*

 

COLE

And of course, two weeks ago, Christopher Canberra cost Gunner ANOTHER Round Robin Tournament match, this time against Leon Rodez! Both matches could have catapulted Gunner to the top of the table, and he could have been the one in the Elimination Chamber match!

 

CABOOSE

So, I can understand if this referee is just a *little* scared at the moment, but he deserves everything he gets tonight.

 

Canberra paces around in the ring, and asks the referee if he can get out of this. The ref just smiles and shakes his head.

 

COLE

Now, in the same vein as another successful company, the OAOAST has decided to have a little fan interaction. But we’re not going to let the fans decide what match this will be, because, obviously, the marks will pick a really really shitty concept, and we would lose favor with our primary audience, the smart internet fans. So let’s cross down to Coach at ringside, with some great OAOAST fans.

 

COACH

Thanks Michael, I’m here with a couple of fans here, firstly we have young Samantha Wright, who do you think will win this match?

 

LITTLE GIRL

Gunner Sharps!

 

COACH

Thanks Samantha. Next we have, what is your name miss?

 

RANDOM CHICK

Lauren Ross, from Oklahoma.

 

COACH

And how long do you think it this match will go?

 

RANDOM CHICK

Oh, I think it will go less than a minute if this referee guy doesn’t run away from Gunner.

 

COACH

Thanks for that. Next we have, what is your name sir?

 

RANDOM GUY

Kevin Jason Aussie, from Down Under.

 

COACH

H! One of Axel’s fellow countrymen. So, what are your thoughts on this match, Mr. Aussie?

 

KEVIN JASON AUSSIE

I think Gunner should be ashamed for picking on this ref. I don’t think Gunner will win. And don't compare me with that disgrace to Australia, Axel.

 

COACH

Wishful thinking and an attitude problem there by that great OAOAST fan. Back to you guys.

 

COLE

Thanks Coach, and thank you to the great OAOAST fans who are giving their opinions on this match. And what about the guy that predicted the referee will win?

 

CABOOSE

Well, he never actually said that, he just said Gunner wouldn’t win. But yeah, rocks in his head.

 

COLE

That’s what I thought. Now, we are ready for the 24/7 Champion!

 

CUE: “Debonaire’ by Dope

 

BUFFER

And his opponent, from Detroit Michigan, weighing in tonight at three hundred fifty-eight pounds, the OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Champion… GUNNERRRRRRRR SHHAAAAAAAAARRPPPPPPSSSSS!!!

 

Gunner Sharps barges through the curtain as the fans give him a huge ovation! He holds his arms up in the air to salute the crowd, before briskly walking down the ramp. He rolls into the ring, and quickly unhooks his belt and gives it to the ref.

 

COLE

Gunner’s not wasting any time here! He wants to get this one over with!

 

The bell rings and Gunner walks straight up to Canberra, who is now shaking like a leaf. He smacks his fist with his hand, and then points to his head, telling Canberra to have a free shot! His opponent is reluctant to try, but Gunner insists that he can have one free shot. Canberra winds up his tiny fist, and clocks Gunner right in the mouth… but Gunner doesn’t budge!

 

COACH

Well, at least he tried.

 

Gunner just smiles at the referee, who tries to hit the big man again, but Gunner just grabs his fist and crushes his hand! The ref screams in pain, and Gunner grabs him by the throat for a Chokeslam! Gunner goes to lift Canberra, but Canberra kicks a field goal between Gunners legs!

 

COLE

Low Blow!

 

Gunner staggers to the ground and Canberra pushes him over, making a cover! The referee counts…

 

ONE…

 

NO! Gunner POWERS out, launching Canberra across the ring!

 

CABOOSE

There goes that dream.

 

Gunner gets up quickly, and stalks Canberra round the ring, with the corrupt referee trying his best to get away from the big man. Gunner finally stops Canberra in his tracks, forcing him into the corner! Gunner grabs the referee by the throat again, this time tossing him over to the other side of the ring, Canberra landing hard on his back! Gunner walks methodically towards the fallen Canberra, who is now begging Gunner not to hurt him! Gunner grabs Canberra yet again and picks him up, hoisting him into the air for a Gorilla press!

 

COLE

Look at the power, Gunner is holding the referee up there like he’s nothing! This guy is getting what he- wait a minute!

 

Gunner smiles to the crowd and prepares to drop Canberra, but two men take him down from behind, with Canberra rolling out of the ring!

 

COLE

What the hell is this?

 

CABOOSE

Hey! That’s the guy from ringside! That Aussie guy!

 

Indeed it is, as Kevin Jason Aussie and another man, one that is smaller than him with blonde hair, but that looks just like him. The two men club Gunner with blow after blow, and once they get the big man on the mat, start laying heavy boots into the Twenty-Four Seven Champion. Gunner tries to get up, but the two men are relentless, not giving him any breathing space! Christopher Canberra comes into the ring, and pumps his fist in the air, celebrating!

 

COLE

That fan from ringside, Kevin Jason Aussie, and whoever the hell that other guy is, have attacked Gunner Sharps here!

 

The two men lift Gunner to his feet, and send him for a Double Irish Whip. Gunner comes off the ropes, the two men try a double clothesline, but Gunner ducks under! Kevin Jason turns around, and Gunner floors him with a big boot! His partner turns around next, and Gunner catches him by the throat! Gunner lifts him high in the air, and drives him into the mat for a Chokeslam!

 

COACH

Chokeslam by Gunner!

 

CABOOSE

Gunner just took those two guys out!

 

Gunner turns around to face Christopher Canberra, whose smirk turns into a look of fear. Gunner lunges forward at him, but Canberra ducks and runs to the other side of the ring! Gunner turns around and runs after him… but gets FLOORED with a clothesline by another man, a monster, dressed in a flannel shirt, tank top and ripped jeans!

 

COLE

Man! Another one!

 

The big unknown man picks Gunner up and sets him up for a Pumphandle Slam! He lifts Gunner up, before dropping him in a sit out Michinoku Driver!

 

COACH

What a high impact move there!

 

CABOOSE

Would somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?

 

The big man points to another man, sitting in the front row, dressed in a black business suit, who casually steps over the guardrail and into the ring. He looks at Kevin Jason and his partner, who have recovered, and points to the two sides of the ring. Kevin Jason steps out of the ring on one side and stands on the apron, and his partner does the same on the other side. Kevin Jason springboards up onto the ropes, and comes off, hitting a Somersault Legdrop on Gunner Sharps! His partner comes off of the other side, jumps once on the ropes and turns around, before springboarding off and rotating 450 degrees for a 450 Moonsault!

 

COLE

Wow! Amazing agility and athleticism by that little guy! But what the hell are all these guys doing?

 

The man in the suit walks over to Christopher Canberra, who is still scared out of his mind, and tapes him on the head, before walking over to Gunner. He nonchalantly puts a foot on Gunner’s stomach and the referee counts…

 

COLE

No! Not like this!

 

ONE!

 

TWOO!

 

THREE!

 

COACH

We’ve got a new 24/7 Champion!

 

CABOOSE

I can’t believe this! Who do these guys think they are?

 

The suited man grabs the 24/7 Belt from the timekeeper and gets the referee to put it around his waist. The big man, Kevin Jason, and his partner all congratulate him, and Canberra is told to grab a microphone. Canberra obliges, and hands the mic to Kevin Jason.

 

KEVIN JASON AUSSIE

Now, I bet all you wankers are wondering just who in the hell are these guys?

 

CROWD

BOO!

 

KJ

Well, as The Mouthpiece of this organization, let me introduce to you the NEW dominant force in the One and Only AngleSault Thread! First, myself, hailing from the Wild West of Perth, Western Australia, weighing in at a perfect, exact, Two-Hundred Pounds, I am The Mouthpiece, Kevin Jason Aussie!

 

COLE

Well at least we know one of them!

 

KJ

Next, from the beautiful birthplace of the Great Barrier Reef, the Gold Coast, in Queensland, Australia, standing at a modest, pocket-rocket size of five feet ten inches, and weighing in at one hundred eighty-five pounds of man muscle, with 20 long, pulsing, inches, of arms, the ladies love him, the blokes want to be him, My Half-Brother, and The Looks of this establishment, Saxon Aussie! Combined, Saxon and I are the Full Blooded Aussies – FBA!

 

The small wrestler acknowledges the crowd who reply with solid boos. Kevin Jason moves on.

 

KJ

The third man in the ring, hailing from the south, the home of Aussie Rules Football, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. Standing Six Feet Eight Inches, and weighing in at exactly Three Hundred Pounds of rough, unforgiving mass, my cousin, The Brawn of our little group, Jarvo Aussie!

 

The big man raises his fist to the crowd and then points at the new 24/7 Champion, the suit-clad man.

 

KJ

Finally, last, but never least, the undisputed leader of this clan. Born in the upper class suburbs of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, he completed a degree at the University of Sydney, before starting his own successful financial company. Trained by such Indy greats as CM Punk, Samoa Joe, and ‘American Dragon’ Bryan Danielson, he was successful in everything else, so he decided to be a wrestler. Now, with unmatched technical ability as well as world class speed and power, he has become the premiere talent coming out of Australia in the last five years. He stands six feet tall, and weighs in at two hundred and thirty pounds. He is my favourite first cousin, YOUR new OAOAST Twenty-our Seven Champion… Ladies and Gentlemen, get on your feet and show respect for ‘The Top Dog’, Cameron S. Aussie The Third!

 

Cameron raises the 24/7 Belt high in the air, and nods at Kevin to continue.

 

KJ

You won’t break our bond, because we are family. We know our place, we know our roles, and we know how to be the most successful force in the OAOAST. We will go to any level, climb any mountain, break any rule, because together, we are Aussies WithOut Limits – AWOL!

 

With that proclamation, Kevin throws down the microphone, and the four men leave the ring, Cameron with the 24/7 Belt firmly in his possession. Referee Christopher Canberra leaves behind them, a relived look on his face.

 

COLE

Well there you have it! This new renegade group, Aussies WithOut Limits, has cost Gunner Sharps the OAOAST 24/7 Championship tonight! Christopher Canberra knew that these guys were going to help him!

 

CABOOSE

Well, Gunner was outsmarted tonight by Canberra and AWOL, but I guarantee now that he will be back with a vengeance guys!

 

COLE

Man, what a Pay Per View! And we’ve still got some huge matches coming up!

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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Meanwhile, elsewhere in some place unknown...

 

“I GOT YA!”

 

“CHEATER!”

 

“Nuh uh. And I just beat your time by nearly five minutes!”

 

Chris gets to his feet and brushes himself off, having been found by James.

 

“I would have found you a lot quicker last time had you not cheated, you cheater!”

 

“It’s not my fault I had to go the bathroom and you didn’t check it.”

 

”The door was LOCKED!”

 

“PRIVACY IS KEY, MORON!”

 

Chris grumbles.

 

“Fine, what’s the last event?”

 

“You’ll see, come with me…”

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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COLE

Wow, look over there!

 

CABOOSE

What? There’s nothing there!

 

COLE

Made you look, made you look!

 

BUFFER

The following tag team contest is set for one fall…

 

Cue: "Do You Call My Name?"

 

BUFFER

At a total combined weight of 495lbs, El DANDY~! and SpiiiiiiiiiiderPoet - LOS INFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERNALES!

 

The Infernales, former OAOAST tag team champions, walk down to the ring, slapping fans hands and getting huge cheers from the partisan crowd. Both men enter the ring and scale the turnbuckles, saluting the fans.

 

COACH

The Infernales as popular as ever, and tonight they finally get a chance to go two on two with-

 

CABOOSE

-with the men who they’ve been messing with for the past 2 months! Time after time Los Infernales have persecuted Black T, and it’s pay back time.

 

Cue: “Quiet”

 

Black smoke, white pyro, and here come the HIYA Tag Champs.

 

BUFFER

Accompanied to the ring by the “Farmer of Champions”, Jivin’ Jim Ross, first, from London, England, at 240lbs, the “Ice Heart” Daaaaaaaaaaan BLACK! And his tag team partner, from Hollywood California, weighing 290lbs, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-BOD!

 

They are BLLLLLLLLLLACK TEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Dan and Tony walk to the ring with huge, smug grins on their faces, while JR moonwalks behind them. The fans almost spit out their lungs hurling BOOOOS at the least popular tag team in the OAOAST today. The Infernales watch Black T enter the ring, bouncing on the spot.

 

CABOOSE

Hey, c’mon, wait! Black T aren’t ready!

 

COLE

I think the Infernales are just getting on their guard against any of Black T’s trademark tricks.

 

Dan removes his black trench coat, while T.Bod takes off his sparkling robe and gives the crowd the old snake hips, to predictable results. Dan, T.Bod and JR consult in a corner, until it’s decided that Black will start for his team. It’s going to be Dandy for the Infernales, and the two men meet in the middle of the ring.

 

Black, taller than his stockier opponent, looks down at El Dandy with a sneer and -

SLAP!

 

COACH

Ow! El Dandy just got totally bitch slapped!

 

Dan grins as Dandy brings his head back up to face Black.

 

Our referee, Charles Robinson, gets the match underway.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Black turns away with a swagger and nods confidently at T.Bod - only to get dropkicked in the back by Dandy! Black is propelled out of the ring through the ropes to the floor. As he‘s staggering up, Dandy has bounced off the ropes and launched himself over the top rope with a plancha straight into Black! Both men crash into the guard rail!

 

COLE

El Dandy wasting no time putting his body on the line to lay some punishment down on Dan Black.

 

CABOOSE

What an idiot. I hope he’s broken his neck.

 

Sadly for Caboose, Dandy is back to his feet and stomping away on Black. T.Bod runs round to intercept, but is met by SpiderPoet, and backs down.

 

Dandy gets Black up and throws him into the ring for the first cover of the match:

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

Dandy brings Black up, applies a front face lock, and executes a snap suplex. Dandy follows up with a Muta style power elbow to the sternum of Dan, and then ascends to the top rope!

 

Black, shaking his head clear, gets to his feet as Dandy launches off with a flying body press that slams Dan straight back to the mat- but Dan rolls through it, and winds up on top of Dandy with a handful of tights!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

No-kickout, and Dandy and Dan go at it in the middle of the ring. Dandy CHOPS Dan hard, while Black responds with forearms and a European uppercut. Dan whips Dandy off the ropes, but as he ducks for a back drop Dandy leaps over him and drags him into a pin with a sunset flip!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

Black angrily rolls to his feet and charges at Dandy, who meets him with a simple take down into a cradle!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

Both men up and Dan stomps the mat in frustration.

 

COLE

Not much of an Ice Heart right now, Caboose.

 

CABOOSE

That idiot Dandy is enough to get anyone angry. These stupid quick pins are never going to finish Dan, it’s just wasting time.

 

Black demands Dandy lock up with him, and the high flying star obliges. Black uses his height advantage to press Dandy down and then grabs his left arm into a hammerlock. Dan sweeps the legs out from under Dandy and takes him down face first onto the mat with the hammerlock still in place. Black then scoots up into a side headlock on the mat, grinding his arms into Dandy’s face.

 

Black yells at Robinson to ask Dandy if he wants to quit.

 

COACH

A little optimistic from Dan.

 

CABOOSE

C’mon, Dandy would probably tap out to a handshake.

 

Dandy starts to fight back, getting up to one knee and then pushing Dan off towards the ropes. Black hangs on to them however, and calmly tags in T.Bod.

 

COLE

Smart move from Dan. Dandy was about to up the tempo of the match once more, and that’s something Black T don’t want. Dan is all about technique while T.Bod brings the power, but neither man is a high flyer.

 

T.Bod steps slowly into the ring and flexes his impressive physique at Dandy. Dandy doesn’t look impressed, and challenges T.Bod to a test of strength.

 

CABOOSE

What an idiot.

 

The two men lock fingers, and T.Bod begins to power Dandy down- so the smaller man kicks him in the gut and nails a DDT!

 

COLE

You were saying?

 

CABOOSE

You’re an idiot.

 

T.Bod is already rising and shrugging off the DDT, so Dandy runs the ropes and leaps into the air, but T.Bod catches him and hits him with a hard backbreaker. Tony brings his opponent up and whips him hard into the corner, before running in after him.

 

Dandy gets his boots up however, and T.Bod is knocked away, bent double clutching his face. Dandy rolls over his back and tags in SpiderPoet to a big pop!

 

Poet peppers T.Bod with forearms and chops, and then whips him to the ropes and nails a trio of arm drags, followed by a hurricanrana. T.Bod, dizzied, falls to the floor by the ropes, where JR pats him on the back, encouraging him to “be a man, be a hoss!”

 

T.Bod picks himself back up, but Poet isn’t allowing him any recovery time, and kicks him repeatedly in the midsection, followed by a snap mare take over that sits T.Bod on the mat. Poet steps back and delivers a stiff kick between T.Bod’s shoulder blades. T.Bod scowls and shouts in pain, as Poet steps back and delivers another kick. The crowd draws its collective breath at the sound of boot on flesh, and Poet steps back for a final kick- but Dan Black is in the ring and drops him with a sleeper slam!

 

COLE

Black T are just a well oiled machine. They watch out for each other and know exactly when to strike.

 

CABOOSE

Exactly why these Infernales will fall tonight, and then Black T will be back on the path towards the OAOAST Tag Team Championship.

 

T.Bod and Poet slowly pick themselves up, with T.Bod winning the race and cutting Poet off from a tag with a hard forearm shot to the back. T.Bod wraps his arms around Poet and executes a belly to back suplex. T.Bod places his boot on the chest on Poet and snakes his hips with the cover:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Poet throws his arm up as the crowd boos T.Bod’s arrogance.

 

“The Body” grabs Poet by the neck and brings him up into a front facelock and a delayed vertical suplex in which T.Bod holds Poet vertically in the air for almost twenty seconds before finally driving him into the mat. Again, T.Bod places his boot on SP’s chest for an arrogant cover, but this time Poet grabs his foot and flips him onto his back, following with a standing moonsault!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THRE- T.Bod kicks out

 

Poet brings T.Bod up and tags in El Dandy. Los Infernales whip “The Body” to the ropes and hit him with a double back elbow and stereo elbow drops. Dandy then brings T.Bod up and plants him in the corner with a body slam.

 

Dandy heads up top and leaps off with a moonsault- but T.Bod gets his knees up, and Dandy crashes into them at full speed! T.Bod rolls over and tags in Dan Black.

 

Black drags Dandy away from the Infernales’ corner and goes to work, stomping Dandy repeatedly in the head, chest and neck. Dandy rolls under the bottom rope, and Charles Robinson makes Black back off.

 

Dandy gets to his feet and goes for the tag, but Dan cuts him off with a kick to the gut. Another kick, and Dan lifts Dandy up and hits a brainbuster, scooting over for the cover:

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THRE-Kickout!

 

Dan wastes no time, bringing Dandy up and whipping him into the Black T corner. Dan then calmly walks over and SPITS at SpiderPoet!

 

Enraged, Poet leaps into the ring but is stopped by Charles Robinson, allowing T.Bod to slap a choke on Dandy from the apron. Dan joins in the choke until Charles turns back. Black then grabs Dandy and executes a textbook Northern Lites suplex:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE-

 

Kickout!

 

 

Black brings Dandy up and sets him for a wrist clutch exploder, but Dandy elbows out and runs the ropes, but runs straight into a lariat than spins him 360 down to the mat. Dan drags Dandy over and tags T.Bod. “The Body” kicks Dandy in the midsection and then tries for a power bomb, but Dandy counters into a rana!

 

T.Bod is up again, and cuts Dandy off from tagging Poet. T.Bod hammers away with forearms, and tries for his Rude Awakening neck breaker, but Dandy pushes him off.

 

COLE

Black T can’t quite put Dandy away here.

 

CABOOSE

But they’re stopping him tagging. He’s gradually being worn down for the pin.

 

Indeed, T.Bod cuts Dandy off from the tag again, this time hitting a German suplex. T.Bod brings Dandy up and this time succeeds in driving him hard into the mat with a stiff power bomb. Cover:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

No! Poet breaks it up! As Robinson gets Poet out, Dan Black takes the opportunity to enter the ring. Together, he and T.Bod hit’s a double team suplex on Dandy, and T.Bod covers again.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

No! Dandy gets a foot on the rope at the last possible second!

 

T.Bod tags in Dan Black, and they whip Dandy off the ropes. Dandy ducks their double lariat attempt, and then nails both men with a double DDT! Dandy starts to crawl across for the tag- and makes it! Poet leaps into the ring a takes down both T.Bod and Dan with lariats and dropkicks. Poet whips Dan to the ropes and hits the TILDEBANG~! (Press into Ace Cutter)

 

Before Poet can even get near tagging, however, T.Bod attacks him, and the two exchange blows. Poet gets the upper hand and whips T.Bod into the corner, running in after him and monkey flipping him out. Poet vaults to the top and connects with a twisting moonsault! T.Bod isn’t the legal man, so SP throws him out over the top rope.

 

Meanwhile however, Dan has rolled out of the ring to the floor on the other side of the ring, so Poet goes after him. Meanwhile, JR helps T.Bod up and gives him one of the HIYA tag titles. Black runs groggily around the ring and back in from the other side, with Poet chasing after him. T.Bod enters the ring wielding the tag belt, but Robinson grabs a hold and tries to take it away.

 

With Charles distracted, as Poet approaches Dan, who’s down on one knee, is able to nail SP with a devastating low blow! With Poet bent double its-

 

KICK WHAM BLACKOUT! (Stunner!)

 

Seeing this, T.Bod drops the belt. Dan, still feeling the effects of the Tildebang, rolls over and tags T.Bod. “The Body” covers-

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No! Poet kicks out! T.Bod is furious, and gets in Robinson’s face, who insists it was only a 2 count. T.Bod turns back to Poet, dragging him off the mat and whipping him off the ropes-

 

OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No!

 

El Dandy breaks it up!

 

This brings Dan back into the ring, as he attacks Dandy from the side, grabbing him up and giving him a release Dragon suplex! Dandy rolls out of the ring and Black goes after him. Charles Robinson is distracted by Dan stomping down Dandy, allowing T.Bod to catch the HIYA title belt returned to him by Jivin’ JR.

 

T.Bod waits for Poet to get up to one knee- and nails him in the head with the belt!

 

Cover, as JR yells at Robinson to turn around-

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

The winners of the match- BLLLLLLLLLLLLLACK TEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Dan rolls back into the ring and he and T.Bod hug. Jivin’ JR, well, jives at ringside.

 

COLE

Well, I don’t even have anything to say about that.

 

CABOOSE

Let’s keep it that way, shall we? And just congratulate Black T on another fine win.

 

COACH

It’s time Bill Watts and the board put a stop to Black T’s constant cheating. Or we get some smarter referees.

 

CABOOSE

Are you insulting lil Naitch?

 

COLE

Black T win again…but Los Infernales never had a chance to wrestle a fair match, just like all Black T’s opponents. For the good of the OAOAST tag division, they MUST BE STOPPED!

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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COLE

Coming up now is a first for the OAOAST, as Yuji Chusaki of the HI-YAH promotion in Japan will be having his first match on American soil right here on Pay-Per-View, putting his HI-YAH Jr. Title on the line against a young man who's really come into his own in the past couple of weeks...

 

COACH

Alex Bryant's really starting to make waves here in the OAOAST, starting with a tag team elimination bout ten days ago that ended with him beating both Tethers brothers in a row. His partner and cousin, Sean, unfortunately suffered a broken wrist in the match that'll keep him out of action for another month, so Alex is flying solo. Anyway, then on HeldDOWN~! this past week, in a "demonstration", he defeated a student from the Malibu Wrestling School named Jonas Smith three times, the first with a crucifix roll into what's known in England as the Alligator Clutch, which is when you have the opponent on their back, grab their legs, and fall forward to fold the opponent in half while just laying on their legs. The second win was via submission with his arm-clutched-over-the-shoulder variation of the Crossface, called the Border City Stretch, before racking up the third victory with his cross-legged fisherman's driver known as the Border City Driver.

 

COLE

But, Jonas Smith is NO Yuji Chusaki. Chusaki is one of the most acclaimed junior heavyweights to come out of the Orient in quite some time, gaining even American fame via tape trading on the Internet, and a televised match of his a few weeks ago, where he defeated Sly Sommers in a victorious HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Title defense with his Devastation Impact, a one man belly-to-belly Spanish Fly backflip slam off the top rope.

 

COACH

Chusaki'll have to contend with possible flight exhaustion, as he just flew for over half a day just to come to this show, and only landed yesterday. Plus, he's working in front of a foreign crowd: how will that help or hamper him? It's the matwork against the aerial assault, for the HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Title, and it's NOW!

 

("Six Barrel Shotgun" starts up, and Alex Bryant comes out. He adds a new mannerism to his entrance, stopping right as he enters the arena to grab his right wrist, cock his righ hand like a gun, and pantomime-shoot it at the camera before walking right to the ring.)

 

COLE

No doubt about it, this is the biggest match in Alex Bryant's young career.

 

COACH

Just two years ago, Alex was a huge tape buyer, from what I hear, and one of his favorite wrestlers to watch on tape was, in fact, Yuji Chusaki.

 

(A Japanese techno song starts up, and Yuji Chusaki comes out, jogging to the ring in a large red, hooded ring robe. The crowd applauds Yuji, and he salutes them when he enters the ring.)

 

COLE

I don't think there's any doubts about Yuji's following in America now. Let's go to the ring introductions...

 

BUFFER

The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a forty-five minute time limit, and it is for the HI-YAH Junior Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, the challenger...he hails from Windsor, Ontario and weighs in tonight at 192 pounds...he is "The Grappler" Alex Bryant!

 

(Does his "fingerbang" taunt from his entrance, only directed at Yuji)

 

BUFFER

And his opponent...weighing in tonight at 156 pounds...from Osaka, Japan, he is the current, reigning, and defending HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Champion...Yuji CHUUUUUUSAAAAAKI!

 

(Crowd starts chanting "YUJI!", so he takes a step forward and pumps his fist in the air to acknoledge the crowd. Yuji then takes off the robe to reveal Dean Malenko-style white-and-red trunks and white boots. He's dyed his hair red and grown a partial goatee since the Sommers match as well.)

 

*DING**DING*

 

The bell rings, and we're underway. Chusaki sticks his hand out of respect, and Alex quickly slaps it, however you want to interpret that. Alex sticks his right hand out, basically asking for a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Yuji grabs on. They quickly lock their free hands. They struggle for position before Alex is able to use his added size and power to push Yuji down and bridging him over. Alex then does a rolling bridge to where he's ear-to-ear with Yuji, and bridged in front of him while keeping ahold of the hands. Alex uses some impressive leg strength to bridge back up to his feet, pulling Yuji up with him.

 

COLE

This is quite unorthodox.

 

Alex has Yuji's arms hooked from behind him, and bends over to roll Yuji over his back and have him standing in front of him. Alex lets go of both hands and grounds Yuji quickly with a front facelock. Alex holds him in it for a second before hooking Yuji's leg and attempting a ball-and-chain cradle. But, Yuji wiggles out during mid-roll and rolls away from Alex.

 

COACH

I don't know if Alex'll be able to bank on out-wrestling this world-class champion like he has with guys like the Tetherses or Jonas Smith.

 

Both competitors quickly shake themselves off before going right into a collar-and-elbow tie-up in center ring. Alex is able to float that right into a rear waistlock on Yuji. Chusaki is able to squeeze a hand between Alex's hands and his own stomach, and grabs Alex's wrist. He then yanks on the wrist and breaks the waistlock to reverse it into a reverse hammerlock, which he uses to go right into a headlock.

 

COLE

That's the thing about Yuji Chusaki: he comes off on first sight like an incredible high-flier, but in reality can chain wrestle with the best of them. That's something that Alex Bryant, who we said is an avid HI-YAH tape viewer, should know by now.

 

Alex did see it all coming, however, as he shoves Yuji off to the ropes. Yuji bounces back and charges at him, but runs right into a shoulderblock by Alex that sends him down. Alex immediately drops down to go for a cover, but Yuji kicks out and rolls Alex off of him before both competitors kip up to their feet. But, they take no time to stay in a stalemate, as they immediately lock up again. Alex uses that to go for a fireman's carry, but Yuji kips out of that and lands on his feet.

 

COACH

Chusaki's like a cat!

 

Bryant somehow saw it coming, immediately bringing him over with a schoolboy. But, Yuji rolls out of it immediately. Alex rises to his feet while having Yuji in a front waistlock, and forces him into a corner. Surprisingly, Alex immediately gives Yuji a clean break, but not without a mocking shove to the chest. They both circle around center-ring after Yuji walks out of the corner before going into another collar-and-elbow lock-up. Alex uses that to go into a hammerlock, but Yuji hops up on Alex's shoulders horizontally and brings him over with a crucifix...

 

...but Alex balances himself and keeps standing with Yuji on his shoulders. He tries to swing Yuji around into a side slam, but Chusaki hits a tremendous reveral, going right into an armdrag to bring Alex over! Both competitors come up, and Yuji hits a really nice-looking snap rana. But, when he goes to cradle the legs, Alex reverses with a sunset cradle...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

Both competitors immediately come back up to their feet, and Yuji goes for a flying headscissors. However, Alex grabs him in mid-move and places him back on his feet before Irish whipping him off to the ropes. Bryant goes for a rolling koppo kick, but Yuji leaps over it and rolls back onto his feet when he lands. Both competitors are up, and Yuji hops onto Alex in wheelbarrow position before pushing off of the mat, reaching up, and bringing him over with a headlock takeover!

 

COLE

Wow, this action's fact-paced!

 

Yuji cranks in the headlock on the mat, forcing the blood to rush to Alex's head. But, Alex grabs Yuji's near leg and quickly turns him over to a side cradle...

 

1...

 

Yuji kicks out, but is rolled onto his stomach by Alex, who pulls him up in double-underhook position. He then wraps his leg around Yuji's inside leg and forces him down to the mat back-first before going into the guard position. Alex then grabs both of Yuji's hands in a double knucklelock and holds them down to the mat for a pinning predicament...

 

1...

2...

 

Yuji gets a shoulder up. Chusaki then is able to squeeze his legs under Alex, pushing his feet up against Bryant's ribcage. Alex is forced up to his feet after pushing up with his own, holding onto Alex and coming up in monkey flip position before leaping up and bringing him over with a hurricanrana!

 

COACH

Originality: something Yuji Chusaki thrives at.

 

Both competitors come up, with Alex moving a little slower and more dazily. Yuji charges at him and latches on to go for a DDT. But, Alex tosses him off of him immediately and Yuji lands on his feet. So, Alex leaps over and around Yuji to bring him over with a schoolboy, which he immediately tries to transition into an Alligator Press (defined above). But, Yuji sits up as Alex leaps, causing Alex to jump flat on his face. Alex goes to all fours while holding his face, as Yuji comes to his feet. Yuji immediately goes for a double stomp to the back, but Alex rolls out of the way.

 

COLE

It should be illegal to move this fast!

 

Both competitors come to their feet quickly, and Alex lifts Yuji for a slam. But, Yuji slides out over Alex's shoulder and hooks him from behind in a Dragon Sleeper neck clutch. He then goes for The Slice (ala Big Show's Hog Log, but with the opposite leg coming down on the opponent's throat), but Alex turns himself around and scores with a legsweep to escape and send Yuji down.

 

COACH

The real tape-viewing knowledge that Alex Bryant holds of Yuji Chusaki is coming out now.

 

Alex hooks Yuji's legs and rolls through into a jackknife pin...

 

1...

2...

 

Yuji reverses it by rolling sideways while holding onto Alex twice and putting Alex in a front headscissors. Alex does a headstand and basically jumps with his feet, landing on his feet and turning Yuji over by the ankles before going for a Gedoh Clutch (starts in camel clutch before rolling the opponent onto their shoulders while leaning forward for a pin). But, he overrotates, as the momentum puts Yuji on top, who then tries to lock in a camel clutch. But, Alex immediately grabs the bottom rope to insure an immediate break.

 

COACH

Alex Bryant's showing an amazing amount of ring awareness for someone with that much lack of experience.

 

Yuji gives Alex a clean break and time to get up. When he does, they go right into a collar-and-elbow lock-up. Yuji gets the advantage and locks in a wristlock. Alex then does a headstand with his free hand before coming back on his feet, now positioned with the armwringer between his legs, with the weight of him breaking it. That gives him the opening to put a headlock on.

 

COLE

That's ANOTHER reversal I've never seen.

 

Alex quickly grounds him with a headlock takeover, keeping the headlock applied while on the mat. Yuji can't squeeze his head out, so he reverses with a side headscissors. Alex can't squeeze his head out of the equally difficult predicament, so he simply rolls backwards onto his knees, stands up to pull his head out, and drops down to go back to the headlock.

 

COACH

Alex Bryant sure does like his weardown holds.

 

Bryant, however, doesn't stay with the hold for long, unhooking one of his arms from the headlock to attempt to hook Yuji's leg for a cradle. But, Yuji wraps his legs around Alex's arm and rolls to the side, putting him in an inverted crucifix cradle...

 

1...

2...

Kickout!

 

Both competitors get up on their feet immediately, as Yuji goes for a hurricanrana right then. But, Alex knew it was coming and reverses it into a powerbomb! He grabs Yuji by the ankle and rolls him backwards and back onto his feet before Irish whipping Yuji off to the ropes. Yuji comes off of the ropes and runs right into a drop toe hold before Alex hops right to a grounded front facelock.

 

COLE

This is EXACTLY what Alex Bryant has to do in order to win: make sure that Chusaki cannot run and fly around, and wear him down cardio-wise while doing so.

 

Slowly, Yuji comes to a standing position while doing so, as Alex tries yanking him back down to the mat but can't. Yuji gets fully standing, but Alex hooks him for a suplex right when he does. Alex spins with it, going for a suplex/spinning neckbreaker combo manuever, but Yuji stays in front position and reverses to a backslide...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

Alex rolls out on pure force when kicking out, and immediately locks in a front facelock again on Yuji, pulling him up with it to keep him on the defense while wearing down his smaller, more energetic opponent. Alex then twists around Yuji's neck and locks in a cravate. But, he obviously doesn't apply it very well, as Yuji is able to slip his neck out and send Alex down with a legsweep.

 

COACH

As good of a high-flier as Yuji is, he's a WRESTLER first and foremost.

 

Yuji quickly grabs Alex's leg and goes for a spinning toe hold, but Alex plants his foot firmly on Yuji's rear end and shoves him off, sending him to come off of the ropes. Alex rolls over onto his stomach and Yuji leaps over him, looking to come off of the ropes on the other end. Alex hops up to his feet as Yuji runs back, and goes for a backdrop. But, Yuji shows off his cat-like balance and lands on his feet to counter-act the move.

 

COLE

Tell me: how many people alive today could do that if need be?

 

But, Yuji can't show off for long, as Alex immediately turns around and brings him down with a side Russian legsweep before rolling back and right into a lateral press...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

Alex quickly pulls Yuji up and puts him in yet another front facelock. Bryant then forces him into the ropes before sending him off to the other side with an Irish whip. Yuji comes off of the ropes and Bryant attempts to bring him down with a hiptoss. But, Yuji again lands on his feet. However, Alex thought ahead and was able to capitalize, hooking Yuji and bringing him down with a side suplex/backbreaker combo move!

 

COACH

That's thinking on your feet!

 

Alex rolls Yuji off of his knee and onto his stomach on the mat before placing his knee in Yuji's back and applying a bow-and-arrow submission. Yuji, showing off some deceptive leg strength, is able to pull his legs away from Bryant's grip, but Alex quickly turns Yuji over on his stomach and again goes back to the front facelock. Yuji quickly starts fighting to get to his feet, but is only able to get to all fours before Alex transitions into an Oklahoma Roll...

 

1...

2...

Kickout!

 

Both competitors come up right after, and Alex forces Yuji into a corner by charging his shoulder into Yuji's mid-section. Alex then connects with a stiff European uppercut to the jaw before snapmaring Yuji out of the corner and then dropping down while delivering a knee strike to Yuji's spine. Alex follows up by locking Yuji in a bodyscissors and rolling it over into a version of the Gedoh Clutch...

 

1...

2...

Kickout!

 

Yuji is able to get up on his own right then, but gets sent back down when Alex hooks him while coming up to his feet and sends him right down with an STO onto his knee! Alex again rolls Yuji onto his stomach on the mat before hitting a kneedrop to the spine, rolling back onto his feet in one motion. He immediately comes off of the ropes and delivers a jumping double kneedrop to Yuji's back, with all of his weight crashing down on the spine.

 

COLE

Smart gameplan by Alex, using his knees to attack Yuji's back, which if weakened, leaves him virtually unable to do his Devastation Impact one-man Spanish Fly finishing move.

 

Alex again goes back to the front facelock, using it to pull Yuji back up to his feet before lifting Yuji up and slamming him down to the mat. Bryant sits Yuji up before going to one knee, planting the bent leg in Yuji's back while yanking back on Chusaki's arms. He switches his legs' positioning quickly, planting both of his feet in Yuji's back before forcing him up to his feet by rolling on his back. Alex then rocks back and forth before he gets enough momentum to perform a reverse monkey flip...but Yuji is able to land on his feet again!

 

COACH

That was wowzers!

 

Alex sits up, looking confused, and gets a dropkick to the spine by Yuji. Yuji then takes off, runs off of the ropes, and hits a nice-looking flipping legdrop. He then kips up right then and hits a standing moonsault that he uses to go for the pin...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

Yuji pulls Alex up and chops him right before pushing him up against the ropes and sending him off to the other side with an Irish whip. Alex comes off of the ropes and Yuji goes for a jumping back elbow. However, Alex catches his smaller opponent and sends him down to the mat with a side suplex. Alex cradles the leg and bridges for a pinning combination...

 

1...

2...

Kickout!

 

Alex immediately pulls Yuji up and gives him a really quick snap suplex before floating over again into a lateral press...

 

1...

2...

Kickout!

 

COLE

Alex is really wanting to get this match over now, knowing that Yuji probably has more stamina than him.

 

Alex pulls Yuji up and cranks his neck around as if he's going for a neckbreaker before dropping him back-first onto his knee. He then re-hooks Chusaki and sends him crashing down with an STO! Alex then rolls Yuji onto his stomach and locks in a pendulum hold (Boston Crab with person on offense facing the opposite way and holding the defense's hands to bend the back at a higher arch). Yuji is able to escape simply by the sweat of his palms causing Alex's grip to slip.

 

COACH

That's one of the factors of actually being involved in a match that you can't train for while preparing for the match.

 

Yuji tries crawling away to the ropes, but Alex pulls him back to mid-ring by the ankle before hooking both arms for a double chicken-wing and sitting down beside Yuji in almost a double chicken-wing version of the Crippler Crossface. Yuji is slowly able to come to his feet, but Alex still has ahold of him by the arms as both rise. Chusaki tries running off, but Alex pulls him back in and hits a reverse jawbreaker, jamming the top of his own skull into the back of Yuji's neck before following through immediately with a shoulder tackle to the small of the back.

 

COLE

Another first from an innovative junior heavyweight!

 

Alex then makes sure Yuji's laying on his stomach and hooks his jaw and ankles before bridging, applying an inverted bow and arrow lock. Yuji refuses to tap and Alex gets frustrated, so he rolls backwards onto his feet and pulls Yuji up with his neck and inside leg hooked. He then lifts Chusaki and drops him with a fisherman's suplex without the bridge.

 

COACH

A rare youthful mistake by Alex Bryant: not bridging for the pin there.

 

Alex pulls Yuji up and lifts him to hit a regular backbreaker. Alex then hooks his leg over Yuji's bent leg, stands up fully, and pulls Yuji off of the mat by the hair to apply a neck crank to complete his standing STF variation. Yuji again refuses to give it up, so Alex angrily shoves Yuji down to the mat face-first and follows up by pulling Yuji up, lifting him on his shoulders, and performing an airplane spin as the crowd counts along with the rotations...

 

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

6...

7...

8...

9...

10...

11..

12...

13..

 

COLE

It may look goofy, but it's actually ruining Yuji's equilibrium, causing him to not be able to run around and fly as well as usual.

 

Alex then sets Yuji down, and sits down to regain his own balance while letting Yuji stumble around and waste energy. Alex pops up behind Yuji and grounds him with a waistlock takedown before hooking him in a full nelson and turning him over into a bridged pinning combination (ala the Dragon Suplex)...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

As soon as Yuji's shoulder comes off of the mat, Alex rolls him back over and goes right back to the grounded waistlock. Alex then switches to a half-nelson and uses it to pull Chusaki up to his feet. Bryant then switches to a neck crank and snapmares Yuji onto his rear end before pulling him up under his arm in reverse DDT position. Alex then lifts Yuji up for a Curtain Call, but Chusaki is able to get his legs behind him and around Alex's neck before rolling with it and putting Alex in a victory roll cradle...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Both competitors come up, and Yuji bypasses a punch attempt by Alex by hitting a quick front dropkick to the stomach. He kips up and comes off of the ropes before going for a hurricanrana on Bryant. However, Alex is able to hold onto Yuji and toss him into a corner with a powerbomb!

 

COLE

That must have hurt!

 

Alex then pulls Yuji out of the corner by his legs before basically hugging Yuji's legs, turning him over, and sitting down on his back in a move called the Samoan Crab. Yuji struggles to the ropes, but isn't able to get there until Bryant accidentally trips and falls. Alex lets go of the hold immediately, but turns right around and grabs Yuji's feet, attempting to pull him off of the bottom rope by them. But, Yuji backflips while Alex is in mid-pull, and lands on his feet.

 

COACH

Yuji Chusaki is busting out some Jet Li moves tonight!

 

Alex somehow was able to react to that immediately however, and sends Yuji back down with a stiff forearm to the face. Alex pulls Yuji up again and drops him with a scoop slam. Alex turns Yuji over and locks in a half-crab. Bryant drags Chusaki to the middle of the ring in order to prevent him being able to get to the ropes. But, Yuji finds another way out, repeatedly kicking Alex with his free leg before Alex has to finally let go in order to block the kicks.

 

COLE

That's one way to escape a hold!

 

Yuji comes up to his feet, holding his back in pain. Alex is bent over, holding his side from the kicks. Chusaki sees this and takes advantage, connecting with a hard running knee strike to the side of the head. Alex goes down, but is pulled right back up by Yuji, who tries but cannot lift Alex for a suplex due to his hurt back. So, he stands Alex up and forearms him in the face before coming off of the ropes and running right into a drop toe hold from Bryant.

 

COACH

That must take some resilency: going from being hit in the face to being back on the offense.

 

Alex then rolls over Yuji's back and attempts to go for his Border City Stretch. But, Yuji knows it was coming and is able to roll away quickly to go right to the ropes. He allows Yuji to rise to his feet after the rope break, but immediately locks in a waistlock as soon as Yuji's standing. He then hits a reverse legsweep that sends Chusaki hard down on his chest and face before going to a reverse guard position on top of Yuji.

 

COLE

He could do about a dozen choices from here, all of them very painful.

 

Alex grabs Yuji's arm, working to bend it forward. He succeeds before hooking it over Yuji's neck and going to a seated position on Yuji's back to fully apply a cobra clutch version of the camel clutch. Alex has it cinched in for nearly eight seconds before Yuji starts to slowly come to his knees. Yuji goes to all fours, as Alex yells to Yuji, "Stay down, you moron!" But, Chusaki doesn't follow the orders, slowly coming up to a standing position. He then twists himself around, escaping the headlock portion, pulling Alex in since Alex kept ahold of his wrist, and delivers an armdrag!

 

COACH

Again, that's something you don't see everyday.

 

Alex stumbles up to his feet, and gets brought over with a snapping hurricanrana in which Yuji immediately cradles the legs for a pinning combination...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Both competitors come up to their feet, and Yuji chooses to come off of the ropes to add more velocity to whatever running move he's going for. He leaps at Alex...but gets brought down with a devstating kneeling version of the Sky High! Alex then takes a moment to regain his breath from that momentary loss of offense before pulling Yuji back up to his feet. Alex then lifts Yuji onto his shoulders, and hits the Cruel Intentions (Sean O'Haire's old finisher; a DVD where the legs are pulled down into a spinebuster-style slam). Alex rolls that right into the cover...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Alex pulls Yuji up and hooks his arm around Yuji's head before placing his own head under Yuji's arm, lifting him, and hitting a devastating slingshot suplex, which he immediately floats over into a lateral press...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

Bryant just can't seem to keep Yuji down.

 

Alex immediately pulls Yuji up, hooks him, and hits a big head-and-arm overhead suplex. Alex then does a backwards roll, hooks Yuji's legs underneath his arms, and turns it over into a Boston Crab. Yuji slowly creeps to the ropes, as the crowd cheers him on. He crawls to force the move to move five feet backwards, but right as Yuji reaches out to grab the ropes, Alex notices and pulls him back to center-ring. Alex realizes after five more seconds that Yuji won't tap, so he rearranges Yuji's legs around his own and locks in a Sharpshooter.

 

COACH

That move's won many men many prestigious championships.

 

Alex attempts to sit down with it, but can't because Yuji knows how dangerous a Sharpshooter can be, and immediately scrambles for the ropes, which he gets to quickly. Alex breaks the hold, but doesn't give Yuji any time to get up, going right after his legs as he's still on his stomach. But, Yuji is able to counter this tactic, hooking his legs around Alex's neck, pushing off of the mat, and spinning in mid-air, hitting a version of the flying headscissors in the process.

 

COLE

Yuji's using defense as his offense, which is completely throwing Alex off of his game.

 

COACH

Yuji's sudden comebacks during Alex's offense must really be throwing Alex off of his game.

 

Yuji kips up, albeit holding his back, while Alex stumbles up to his feet. Yuji runs at Alex and hits what, at first, looks like a flying headscissors before he changes the rotation and brings Alex down with a flying reverse DDT! Yuji gets up and the crowd cheers him as he pulls Alex up before whipping him off to the ropes. Alex comes off of the ropes, and runs right into an Arachnid Kick (spinning wheel kick with extra half-rotation)!

 

COLE

That's gotta hurt!

 

Yuji then goes into a corner and awaits Alex getting up by waving him on with his hand. The crowd roar grows more and more as Alex gets to a standing position. When fully standing, Yuji charges at Alex...who ducks a Yakuza kick! Both turn around and run at each other, colliding foreheads and going down at the same time. The referee sees that neither's going to get up quickly, and starts his count...

 

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

6...

 

Alex is slowly pulling himself up with the ropes, as Yuji's on both knees...

 

7...

 

Alex is on one knee while holding onto the ropes...

 

8...

 

Yuji's on one knee as Alex gets to his feet. Alex pulls Yuji up to his feet by his hair, and forearms him in the face. Yuji stumbles backwards while holding his face...before charging at Alex with a stiff forearm to the face of his own! Alex holds his face for a second before firing back with a stiff forearm of his own. Both competitors then go back-and-forth, trading off stiff forearm strikes to the face, but neither giving in a disadvantage.

 

COLE

Here's some Japanese-style wrestling for ya!

 

Yuji takes one final forearm to the face before bending down, pounding the mat in frustration with both fists, grabbing the back of Alex's head, and connecting with five consecutive forearm strikes to the side of his head before letting go and throwing a devastating discus forearm!

 

COACH

Yuji's all fired up now!

 

Yuji turns to the crowd and yells "C'MON!", eliciting the crowd to cheer even louder as he pulls Alex off of the mat and whips him off to the ropes. Alex bounces off of the ropes and runs right into an old-school Frankensteiner, right into the cradle pin...

 

1...

 

2...

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

That was close!

 

Yuji comes to his knees and blows off the referee, who is telling him that it was a two-count. He pulls Alex up and hooks his head over his shoulder. Yuji then runs at the corner, looking to go for a Sliced Bread #2. But, Alex holds onto the ropes with one hand and doesn't go down when Yuji flips over him. With the other arm, he grabs Yuji's head in mid-move in stunner position, and spins him around into a falling reverse DDT!

 

COACH

NWA-TNA used to call that move the Stone Cutter, but we obviously don't...

 

Alex pulls him up in the reverse facelock position and spins Yuji around into a regular front facelock. Alex hooks the near leg, and brings Yuji over with a fisherman's suplex...

 

1...

 

2...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Alex pulls Yuji up quite hastily, looking angry while doing so. He butterflies Yuji's arms, and brings him over with a bridging double-underhook suplex...

 

1...

 

2...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Alex pulls Yuji up by the hair and hooks him for a side suplex. He lifts Yuji, but Yuji backflips out of the move, landing on his feet behind Alex. Bryant turns around and runs right into a dropkick that sends him flying between the top and middle ropes, and to the outside. The crowd stands up, knowing something dangerous is coming up. Yuji then grabs ahold of the top rope and springboards up onto it. He launches off, and hits an incredible flip plancha where he accidentally overrotates and comes down chest-first, though he still takes Alex down hard!

 

COLE

That was almost a 450 plancha!

 

COACH

Can you believe it?!?!?!

 

Yuji gets to his feet, holding his side but still running from the adreneline, even taking time to get a bottle of water from a fan and pour it over his head. Yuji throws the empty bottle at Alex before pulling him up and tossing him back into the ring. Yuji goes to the apron. He then does another top rope springboard into a big-time swanton bomb! Yuji goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

2...

 

 

Alex gets his foot on the bottom rope!

 

Yuji pounds the mat angrily, but doesn't waste too much time before pulling Alex up. He forearms him in the face twice to keep him unable to fight back before delivering an Irish whip. Alex comes off of the ropes, and runs right into an unorthodox flipping body attack, basically a rolling Koppo kick in mid-air without the kick. Yuji quickly goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Yuji pulls Alex up and butterflies his arms. But, Alex is aware what is happening, and is able to pull one arm out of the predicament. He then pulls Yuji into a small package with the other arm...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both competitors come up, and Alex ducks a clothesline, immediately reaching behind him right after and bringing Yuji over in a backslide that he quickly converts to the Alligator Press...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

Yuji's obviously scouted a few of Alex's more successful cradles and has found reversals for them in most situations, such as crunch time right now!

 

Alex pulls Yuji up and kicks him in the stomach. Alex butterflies the arms, lifts Yuji, and brings him down hard with a Tiger Bomb...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COACH

Alex's having to revert to going to moves not normally in his moveset if he wants to win the HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Championship!

 

Bryant pulls Yuji up and yells at him, "STAY DOWN!" Alex then applies a wristlock before stepping over the arm and rolling forward into a La Magistral/sunset flip combination pin...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Yuji goes to all fours after kicking out, so Alex straddles him in a rather odd manner, hooking his heels under Yuji's armpits and rolling him into a sunset cradle...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both competitors come to their feet, and a dizzy Chusaki ducks a punch from Alex. Both competitors turn around, and Yuji goes for a hurricanrana. But, Alex tosses him off. Yuji lands on his feet, but immediately gets snapmared before Alex wraps his legs over Yuji's shoulders and sits down with the cradle that won him the elimination tag match from two weeks ago...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

That was the unbeatable cradle...and Yuji just beat it!

 

Alex gets up, and starts freaking out. He grabs the referee by the collar and threatens to punch him. During this time, Yuji rises to his feet. He shakes himself off before connecting with a thrust kick to Alex's back. Alex bends over backwards, leaving him open for the Slice! Yuji goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Yuji sits up and slaps himself in the face to get his adreneline rushing. He then goes to the top rope and crosses himself before launching off...and MISSING A SHOOTING STAR SENTON (extra rotation, lands on back)!!!

 

DAVE PRAZAK

HO-LY FUUUUUUUUCK!

 

COLE

Wait, you're too good be be commentating here...

 

DP

::exits::

 

Alex slowly comes up to a standing position, looking worse for the wear. Yuji comes up to one knee while holding his back. Alex sees what position Yuji's in...and hits a Glimmering Warlock (shining enziguri)! He immediately goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

2.5...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COACH

That was DAY-UM close!

 

As soon as Yuji kicks out, Alex hooks Yuji's arm under his armpit and goes right into the kneeling abdominal stretch. Bryant cranks back on the hold, trying to bend Yuji in the wrong way. But, he makes a critical mistake by not hooking the leg, allowing Yuji to get an easy rope break. But, Alex doesn't wait at all for Yuji to get out of the ropes, as he pulls him out of the ropes and hooks in the Border City Stretch in the middle of the ring!

 

COLE

It should be over here!

 

Alex cranks back on the hold deeply, even planting the flats of his feet on the mat and pushing back with his legs. But, he ends up leaning back too far and losing his control on the move, enabling Yuji to reverse it with a side cradle...

 

1...

 

 

 

2....

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both competitors come up to their feet, and Yuji immediately forces Alex into a corner to set up a series of windmill palm chops (arms move in a circle, like a windmill, and strike the chest of the opponent while coming back down in front of you) to Alex's chest. He leaves Alex dazed enough to set him up on the top turnbuckle...

 

COLE

This could be the Devastation Impact coming up!

 

Yuji climbs up to the top rope, giving the "thumb across the throat" salute to signify that he's going for it all. He hooks Alex by the waist and pulls him up until he's standing on the top rope. But, he took too much time setting the move up, as Alex starts headbutting Yuji in the face repeatedly to escape the hold. Yuji finally lets go of the front waistlock, and starts to fall backwards. But, Alex grabs his arm and keeps him on the top rope. He then hooks Yuji's head and crosses Yuji's legs before lifting him...

 

COLE

TOP ROPE BORDER CITY DRIVER!

 

COACH

WHAT THE HELL?!?!? HE'S DEAD!!!!

 

Alex immediately cradles the legs upon landing for the pin...

 

1...

 

 

 

2....

 

 

THREEEEEE!!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the contest, and NEEEEEEEEEW HI-YAH Junior Heavyweight Champion...Alex BRRRRYYYYAAANNNT!

 

Alex just falls back and lays on his back, as the referee drapes the HI-YAH Junior Heavyweight Title belt across his chest before raising his hand. Bryant hugs the belt, as his eyes start to tear up. A large portion of the crowd stands up and applauds the athleticism shown in the contest.

 

COLE

This certainly is an emotional moment for Alex Bryant: winning a title he's seen defended so many times before on videotape as a teenager, and breaking out before our very eyes tonight.

 

COACH

Love him or hate him, you've got to admit that Alex Bryant has talent. And tonight, that talent drove him over one of the top talents that the Land of the Rising Sun has to offer.

 

A few more officials then come into the ring and help Yuji, who was knocked unconcious by the Super Border City Driver, out of the ring and to the locker room. A "YUJI!" chant starts up.

 

COLE

These fans here in attendance really earned a new respect for an international superstar tonight.

 

Alex Bryant rolls out of the ring on his own power, stopping on the floor to put his belt around his waist before walking to the back.

 

COACH

There goes the new HI-YAH Jr. Champion!

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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Cole

Now, our very own Josh Matthews is ringside with Stephen Joseph, returning to the OAOAST tonight.

 

Josh

Stephen Joseph, ever since The Mad Cappa lost to you and was forced to return to the Inten5e, you've been missing. In fact, the Inten5e really isn't around at all. What can you say about this matter.

 

Stephen

I didn't feel intensely about the Inten5e. What can I say? 5 people searching for meaning wanting to be involved again. Cappa's gone, Puerto's missing, Dan and Tony have their own thing going on. Where do I fit in?

 

Josh

You said that The Puerto Rican should be the next challenger for the OAOAST Title. Do you still believe that?

 

Stephen

I really don't care. I don't care to be interviewed by you either. Nor to be here, actually. What I came to realize is fairly simple. Time passed me by, so I'm left with a choice. Reinvent who I am, and claw my way back up to where I rightly deserve to be, or walk out as an obscure legend.

 

I'll not be walking out obscurely. Good day gentleman. I'll be back. Shantih.

 

Josh

Back to you Cole.

 

Cole

Just when you think you have Stephen Joseph all figured out...

 

Coach

On a positive note, coming up next, a title match!

 

Caboose

Man, they sure get their bang for their buck by having you around Coach

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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WWEGPXvsNNMX.jpg

 

OAOAST TOP 10, PRESENTED BY BUDWEISER: KING OF BEERS

 

Tag Team Champions: The Global Party XChange

 

1. New New Midnight Express

2. Black T

3. Hell's Hitmen

4. Chicks Over Dicks

5. The Love Doctors

6. The Muses

7. Frankensteiners

8. Bryant Cousins

9. Tether Brothers

10. South Central Militia

 

COLE

I welcome in Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who'll provide color commentary for our next match. The Coach & Caboose will return later on. Great to see you again, Jesse.

 

VENTURA

I gotta get somethin' off my chest, Michael Cole. It's been a while since "The Body" has called a match on pay-per-view, so I spent some of the afternoon meeting some old and new faces. I had a great sit down with Black T and the New New Midnight Express, so, in the interests of being fair and balance, I tried to talk with the World tag team champions, the Global Party XChange, but they refused all media requests for interviews, including yours truely, if you can belive that.

 

COLE

Jess, our next match is a big one. The OAOAST World tag team titles are on the line as Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express face the OAOAST tag team champions, the Global Party XChange.

 

VENTURA

It's about time the New New Midnight Express have finally received their return match. I know Jim Cornette and his attorneys had been working the phones the last few months trying to get "Cowboy" Bill Watts to put his John Hancock on the contract that would give the New New Midnight Express their return shot, so I'm happy for James E. It's been long overdue.

 

COLE

Last week the New New Midnight Express attacked GPX before their big non-title match against The Muses.

 

VENTURA

"Attack" is too strong a word. After speaking with James E. earlier today, I've come to find out he was defending his late mother's honor. Apparently Scotty Static said some unkind things about mama Cornette, so her baby boy defended her.

 

COLE

Did Cornette tell you that? What a liar.

 

VENTURA

James E. is a great man. Okay, so he tells a little fib every now and then, but I have all the reason in the world to believe he's telling the truth this time. You know how GPX are -- you can't even understand what they're sayin' sometimes.

 

COLE

Fans, let's revisit what happened between these two teams the last time they met one-on-one. Take a look.

 

HeldDOWN~!

August 19, 2004

Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment

 

Simon & Ned double-team JJ, then whip him into the ropes. He ducks a double-clothesline attempt and hits one of his own. The crowd stands firmly behind Johnny, chanting his name. Jackson ducks a right hand from Blanchard and lifts him up for a back suplex, but Ned floats over and nails Johnny behind the head with an ENZIGURI, bouncing him off the turnbuckle right into the grasps of "Sarcastic" Simon's SMALL PACKAGE.

 

1...

 

2...

 

3!

 

VENTURA

There you saw it, Cole. 1-2-3! A few short weeks after debuting in the OAOAST, the New New Midnight Express shocked the entire wrestling world by defeating the Global Party XChange two weeks after they had won the tag team titles. I'm sure mama was watching that night on the biggest TV the big man upstairs has. But what made that night even better, the New New Midnight Express fulfilled their goal: they won the World tag team titles. Bill Watts was against them. The fans were against them. But they used that as motivation, and they kicked GPX's ass! Just like they'll do tonight. And there's not a damn thing Bill Watts can do about it. Ha!

 

COLE

I gotta ask you about the New New Midnight Express' actions last week. You've mentioned his name already, but "Cowboy" Bill Watts wasn't pleased with Jim Cornette & the New New Midnight Express. As a matter of fact, he fined them $3,000. They've nearly racked up about $50,000 worth of fines.

 

VENTURA

With the revenue Jim Cornette Enterprises brings in weekly, he has some money to burn. Besides, wouldn't you say he got his money's worth?

 

COLE

He certainly did.

 

VENTURA

There you go. Money's meant to be spent. He even promised to finance my presidential campaign in 2008 if I decide to run. And believe me, they have jobs waitin' in the Ventura/Barkley administration. How does Secretary of Commerce James E. Cornette sound? He always has somethin' to say. Secretary of Transportation: "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton. Vegomatic. Need I say more? Secretary of Health & Human Services: "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard. The man's ripped and he's one helluva wrestler to boot.

 

COLE

Don't you think T-Bod would be disappointed he wouldn't have a cabinet position?

 

VENTURA

He will. T-Bod will be my Secretary of Defense. With Dan Black in the United Kingdom, the United States of America will always have a tag partner. Hell, I'll even let Jivin' J.R. be my Press Secretary. Here's another question for you, Cole: What does old man Watts do with the money collected?

 

COLE

I don't know.

 

VENTURA

I saw him driving a bad new Cadillac! I think Watts is using the money for his own personal gain. He ought to be investigated by the I.R.S.

 

* DING DING DING DING *

 

BUFFER

Word Without End continues with a battle for the professional wrestling tag team championship of the world. It is set for one fall. When the bell rings, your referee in charge is Earl Hebner. Ladies and gentlemen, ARE YOU READY? Sold out crowd in attendence, ARE YOU READY? Then for the thousands in attendence, and the millions watching on pay-per-view... LLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

 

The crowd goes APESHIT, but once the opening notes to "Chase" cues up, they begin booing relentlessly. Jim Cornette leads the New New Midnight Express, making an "X" with their index fingers, to the ring. "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned's silvery vest sparkle as the arena lights shine down on them.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, the challengers, to be introduced by their manager.

 

CORNETTE

Ladies and gentlemen, here they are. They've crippled more men than polio & ALC combine. "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS!

 

BUFFER

And their manager, Mr. Jim Cornette.

 

Cornette hops on the second rope, waving his tennis racket in the air, wooing.

 

In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabee's

there finally emerges a group

which has come to set the record straight.

so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard

can you say uhhh na na na na...

 

BUFFER

And their opponents. From Hotlanta & the 313, weighing 407 pounds, the OAOAST World tag team champions, Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson, THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE!

 

COLE

The Global Party XChange are ready to go. They remove their titles, and run to the run. GPX & the Midnights are slugging it out in the center of the ring. Both Midnights whipped into the ropes. BACK BODYDROP, followed by a couple of SUPERKICKS square in the jaw! The NNMX take a powder. GPX and their fans are going crazy. The adrenaline running wild. Those of you who couldn't join Thursday night on HeldDown, The Muses--Tiffany & Logan--who've seemed to develop some kind of spiritual bond with the New New Midnight Express, defeated the GPX, after being attacked by Simon & Ned before the match. They re-injured the ribs Scotty had broken months ago, and injured Johnny "Jam" Jackson's knee.

 

VENTURA

Don't you dare start making excuses for GPX.

 

COLE

I'm not.

 

VENTURA

You're not? Then why are you brainwashing the fans with that corny "they're fighting hurt" spiel?

 

Jim Cornette and his men are huddling outside the ring. In the ring, Johnny gets on all floors and lets his partner use him as a SPRINGBOARD, as Scotty SOMMERSAULTS OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO CORNETTE & THE NNMX! The crowd appreciates the danger Scotty put himself though, with the injured ribs and all, and beginning chanting "SCOTTY! SCOTTY! SCOTTY!" Static tosses Ned Blanchard back into the ring, where Johnny Jackson is waiting.

 

VENTURA

Look at this illegal double-team. This match isn't being held under Texas Tornado rules. Don't the referee know the rules? Do we still even have a rules? Somebody enforce the damn rules!

 

COLE

Easy, tiger. Ned into the ropes. FLAPJACK! GPX hit one of the Midnight Express' trademark moves on "Narcissistic" Ned. Johnny's going to the top. "Sarcastic" Simon is still down on the outside. Jim Cornette is trying to help him up, but he too took one helluva bump. Scoope slam.

 

VENTURA

They're not gonna...?

 

COLE

I think they are, "Body." THE ROCKET LAUNCHER!

 

1...

 

2...

 

"SARCASTIC" SIMON DIVES ON JOHNNY.

 

COLE

2 count. The New New Midnight Express are lucky, and I mean lucky. GPX were half-a-count from retaining their titles.

 

VENTURA

Notice how it was Johnny "Jam" who came off the top. I wonder how much punishment Scotty will be able to take. That adrenaline won't last forever. Wrestling is a very tough spot, where the back takes a lot of the beating. Even the simpiest little thing like hitting the ropes hurts.

 

COLE

Very interesting observeration. Fans, those of you who saw the Top 10 Tag Team rankings before the match, and are wondering how the South Central Militia received a Top 10 ranking. I was informed the OAOAST Board of Directors were so upset with the behavior of Marcellus "One-Eye" Wallace & Vincent "Whitey" Ford, that they decided to throw them into the fire, so to speak, and gave them a Top 10 ranking, instead of having them work for it. A very good decision, if you ask me. Let's see how tough those guys are when they're facing some of the best teams in the world.

 

VENTURA

Hey, those guys were speaking from the heart. This is America. We have freedom of speech, and the S.C.M. were expressing their views.

 

COLE

Scotty & Johnny double-team Simon in the corner, then whip him into the ropes. Scotty with the DROPTOE HOLD, Johnny with the ELBOW TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD. Another trademark Midnight Express move executed on the New New version of the duo. And again, as you pointed out earlier, Jess, it was Johnny who delivered the impact of the move.

 

GPX throw Simon over the top rope. Scotty Static exits the ring. For the first time in this entire match, we're going to have two men in the ring, not 3 or all 4. Oh, "Narcissistic" Ned nearly caught J.J. by surprise with a clothesline, but "Jam" was barely able to duck under the extended arm and connect with an armdrag. And another. How 'bout a Mexican armdrag? Nice biel by Jackson.

 

VENTURA

Yeah. I remember when it used to be called a hip toss.

 

Blanchard hops over J.J. Johnny leapfrogs over Ned -- and nearly loses his balance! Once again, Johnny leapfrogs over Ned -- but his LEG GIVES AWAY. Johnny tries to get back up, but Ned CHOP BLOCKS his leg. "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard wastes no time going to work on J.J.'s knee, the knee Jim Cornette whacked with his tennis racket this past Thursday. Scotty Static looks on with concern, as Ned jerks the leg, then drops consecutive elbow drops on the knee. Ned tags in "Sarcastic" Simon, who hits a TOP ROPE KNEEDROP ONTO J.J.'S KNEE. Simon jerks the knee some more...FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK. Immediately, Johnny begins SCREAMING IN PAIN.

 

VENTURA

The Party XChange is about to crash, Cole.

 

COLE

I seriously doubt that, Jess. Johnny has a ton of heart. The image of losing the tag team championship two weeks after winning them lurks in the minds of Scotty & Johnny, they'll die before giving up.

 

VENTURA

Well, then tell the morgue we're gonna need a hearse for two.

 

"LET'S GO JOHNNY!" * clap clap clap clap clap *

 

"LET'S GO JOHNNY!" * clap clap clap clap clap *

 

"LET'S GO JOHNNY!" * clap clap clap clap clap *

 

VENTURA

(scoffs)

Like that's gonna do him any good.

 

COLE

It might. The fans letting Johnny know they're still behind him.

 

Jim Cornette is verbally abusing Johnny from the outside. "Sarcastic" Simon keeps hitting J.J.'s knee with his fist, demanding he give up. "No," screams Johnny, lying on his back.

 

1...

 

2...

 

J.J. SITS UP.

 

Simon SLAPS J.J. He does it again. Johnny looks Simon, then Ned, then Jim Cornette, then back to Simon, in the eyes, and says "FUCK YOU," while throwing them THE BIRD. The crowd cheers. The cheers grow louder when Johnny PUMPS HIS FIST IN THE AIR. Simon does everything he can to keep Johnny from turning over the Figure-Four. Cornette sticks the tennis racket between the ropes, allowing Simon to hold onto it. Referee Earl Hebner kicks the racket away. "Narcissistic" Ned holds Simon's hands, but Earl breaks it up. J.J. REVERSES THE FIGURE-FOUR! Now Simon is the one yelling. Singelton quickly lets go of the hold. Simon tags in Ned, but Johnny tags in his partner as well, having sommersaulted to his corner. Scotty Static comes in a house afire. Knocking down Simon & Ned with rapid punches and kicks. He's hitting-and-running. Ned into the turnbuckle. Back bodydrop. Scotty lands on the ring apron after Ned tossed him over the top, avoiding a clothesline attempt. Static uses Blanchard's hair to slam him to the mat. He spingboards to the top rope. SHOOTING STAR LARIAT!

 

1...

 

2...

 

SIMON WITH THE VEGOMATIC.

 

Blanchard covers Static.

 

1...

 

2...

 

JOHNNY BREAKS UP THE PIN.

 

"Sarcastic" Simon & Johnny "Jam" Jackson begin going at it. Referee Earl Hebner is trying to seperate the two, and return them to their respective corners. "Narcissistic" Ned is screaming at Hebner who's screaming at Cornette who's screaming back at Hebner. While all this is going on, the CANVAS IS RISING UP AND DOWN.

 

VENTURA

What the hell is that?!

 

COLE

It's like the ring is experiencing an earthquake or something.

 

Earl Hebner gets between Simon & Johnny, but all 3 men end up falling through the middle rope. In the ring, Ned backs Scotty against the ropes and unloads a fury of bodyshots. A HAND RISES FROM THE RING. Static whipped -- no, he counters it, but so does Blanchard. Hebner's still trying to break up the brawl between Jackson & Singleton. A MAN WEARING A STRAITJACKET RISES FROM THE RING. Scotty ducks a clothesline, sending Ned bouncing off the ropes. He leapfrogs over Scotty, right into a CLAWSLAM FROM JINGUS! He slides out of the ring, and exits through the crowd.

 

VENTURA

Oh!

 

COLE

Unbelieveable.

 

Scotty covers Ned. Earl Hebner runs back into the ring.

 

1...

 

2...

 

VENTURA

Cornette is going crazy. He saw what happened, but that Hebner moron didn't see it.

 

3!

 

* DING DING DING DING *

 

In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabee's

there finally emerges a group

which has come to set the record straight.

so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard

can you say uhhh na na na na...

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, and still OAOAST tag team champions of the World, THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE!

 

COLE

GPX have done it! All the critics said they have yet to beat a major tag team one-one-one...They did tonight.

 

VENTURA

They cheated! Scotty Static saw Jingus pop out of the ring and Clawslam Ned. Doesn't Hebner find the hole near the turnbuckle slightly suspicious?

 

COLE

Fans, here's a word about our next big pay-per-view event.

 

VENTURA

Aren't you going to say anything about what I just said?

 

COLE

Yeah--thanks for joining us tonight.

 

When you think of Thanksgiving, two things come to mind: turkey and football.

 

On Sunday, November 28, a wrestling tradition returns.

 

The OAOAST proudly presents...

 

THANKSGIVING STAR WARS

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Live from Texas Stadium in Irving, Texas

 

CUT TO: LOCKER ROOM AREA

 

OAOAST.com's Tony Schiavone is with Jim Cornette. "Narcissistic" Ned holds an ice pack on his neck, while "Sarcastic" Simon messages his shoulders.

 

SCHIAVONE

Jim Cornette--

 

CORNETTE

Shut up, Schiavone! We had GPX beaten! Then, like a Jiffy Pop popcorn bag, the canvas begin rising. JINGUS came out from underneath the ring and ClawSlammed "Narcissistic" Ned straight to hell. But that moron of a referee was conveniently out of position! The tag titles should be around the heavenly waists of "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned as we speak. We ought be throwing a party this very second, instead we're mourning another screwjob. This is a disgrace! Call 911. We were robbed. WHERE'S WATTS!

 

Cornette removes his polyster suit, and throws it to the ground.

 

SCHIAVONE

Back to you guys at Sofa Central.

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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COACH

Coming up next, we have a very unique bout, as Chris Stevens will face some of his toughest opposition to date, in Sly Sommers.

 

COLE

Sly toured Japan recently, even having to skip out on a previously scheduled 2/3 Falls bout for the World Title against Crystal at our Pay-Per-View spectacular last month, Dirty Deeds, one in which both competitors have publically stated that they want to make up in the future.

 

COACH

During the tour, the OAOAST decided to play live-to-tape updates of his travels of the HI-YAH promotion on our HeldDOWN~! broadcast. These caused Chris Stevens to become a victim of bad formatting, as the updates would come on during air time that was promised to him.

 

COLE

This caused Stevens to snap after a hard-fought victory against Phoenix a couple of weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!, even vowing to have words for whoever was behind this. The thing is, he thought that Sly was somehow behind this.

 

COACH

The two ended up having a verbal confrontation on the HeldDOWN~! after Sly returned from Japan, where Sly proposed this match for tonight, with the stipulation that, if Chris wins, he gets all of Sly's upcoming bookings, including what's been vaguely described as the "main event slot at our November Pay-Per-View".

 

COLE

Also, if Chris wins, Sly's vowed to get rid of his current ring gear, entrance music, and any type of fanfare that goes along with him in the OAOAST, promising to don black trunks and boots, have no real big entrance, and wrestle nothing but preliminary matches for six months, becoming what they call a "Dojo Boy" or "Young Lion" in Japan.

 

COACH

Chris quickly accepted, but then laid out Sly and left a pretty good impression on both Sommers and the viewing audience. The next week, Chris teamed with Drek Stone to face Panther and Sly Sommers, both first-time teams. The end came when Stevens cracked Sly across the skull with a steel chair and scored the cheap victory.

 

COLE

Without any further ado, let's go to the ring!

 

("Bound to the Floor" starts up, as Chris Stevens comes to the ring. He has his fist raised in the air the entire walk to the ring, with a smug look on his face. He's wearing a black cut-down t-shirt (ala Scott Hall) with the phrase "Sly Killer" written in white on the front.)

 

BUFFER

The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute time limit; your referee is Kip Nerdly. It is a "Spot for Spot" match. Introducing first, from Rochester, Minnesota; weighing in at 221 pounds...Chris STEEEEEVEEENNNNS!

 

COACH

I'm sure that shirt'll sell on eBay really well someday...

 

("Gimme Back My Bullets" kicks in over the PA system, as Sly Sommers bursts out of the entrance to a loud ovation! He takes off his blue HI-YAH warm-up jacket while walking to the ring before slapping hands with a few fans and sliding into the squared circle...)

 

BUFFER

And his opponent...from Chippawa , Michigan; weighing in at 194 pounds; he is a former OAOAST X-Division Champion...Sly SOOOOOOOMMMMMERRRRSSS!

 

COLE

There's a lot on the line tonight for Sly...

 

COACH

And Chris too...remember: he wins this, he's in the main event next month!

 

*DING**DING*

 

After the referee finishes frisking both competitors for weapons, they come to center-ring and engage in a collar-and-elbow lock-up. Sly is able to overpower Chris, and ends up forcing him into a corner. The referee asks for Sly to relinquish with a clean break, and he does. Both competitors back out of the corner, and go into another collar-and-elbow tie-up in center-ring. This time, Stevens is able to overpower Sly and send him into a corner. The ref asks Chris for a clean break...and he disobeys, with a knee to the stomach followed by apunch to the face.

 

COLE

Looks like Chris Stevens is turning the clock all the way back if he wants to beat Sly and his new-aged offense.

 

Chris then applies a headlock and pulls Sly out of the corner with it. As soon as Chris gets him to center-ring, he switches the headlock to a wristlock. Sly struggles in pain in the hold before performing a forward roll and then kipping back up to his feet. The momentum allows him to reverse Chris's wristlock into a reverse hammerlock of his own!

 

COACH

Say what you want about him, but Sly is as technically proficient as the best of them!

 

Chris quickly reverses with one of his own, but Sly fights fire with fire by picking up his own foot, putting it on Chris's hand and pushing down to break the lock, and reversing to a regular hammerlock. Chris reaches back and reverses into one of his own. He then pulls another dirty trick and gets a handful of Sly's hair to pull him down to the mat by.

 

COLE

That was a perfectly fine display of technical wrestling...until the rather dirty hairpull.

 

Chris keeps the hammerlock applied on the mat, but Sly is able to bridge up before spinning himself around, pulling his arm out of the hammerlock and going right into a front facelock. Sly pulls Chris up to his feet with the front facelock before tranforming it into a cravate. Chris has an extremely hard time squeezing his head out, so he hooks Sly around his waist and starts twirling around in circles, trying to get some momentum going. Finally, when he does, he falls back, hurling Sly off of him and into a corner.

 

COACH

Weird, but effective.

 

Chris gets onto his feet and charges at Sly in the corner. But, Sly rolls away, though Chris stopped himself before going chest-first into the turnbuckles. But, he takes too much time hesitating after blocking the run into the corner, and leaves himself open for a schoolboy from Sly...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

Both competitors come up, and Sly immediately connects with a back elbow that sends Chris right back down. Chris pops up quickly, but Sly grabs the back of his head and connects with two quick forearms to the face before sending him off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Chris bounces off of the ropes and runs right into a flying back elbow to the jaw.

 

COACH

Sommers is on fire!

 

Sly pulls Chris up, and connects with three consecutive lightning-quick jabs to the jaw. Sly then jumps up and throws a dropkick, but Chris sidesteps it and high-tails to the outside.

 

COLE

I think Chris is trying to slow down Sly's momentum here...

 

COACH

I also think he's scared.

 

Chris sits down on the concrete floor for a second to regain his composure. He responds to a "JUST GO WRESTLE!" chant with "Shaddyup!" He starts to yell at a fan behind him before the fan points at the ring. Chris turns around, and Sly's in mid-air attempting a pescado (slingshot bodypress to floor). Chris side-steps Sly, but Sommers lands on his feet. Sly then runs after Chris, who starts to run away from Sly. The chase goes all of the way around the ring, until Chris slides back into the ring. Sly follows, but gets met with a stomp to the head by Stevens.

 

COLE

Classic trick there by Stevens, yet Sly still fell for it.

 

After a couple of more stomps, Chris pulls Sly up and sends him off with an Irish whip. Sly comes off of the ropes and gets met mid-ring with a back elbow to the face that sends him down. Chris then comes off of the ropes immediately behind him and hits a falling fistdrop. Chris then goes for the cover...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

Chris quickly pulls Sly up and forces him into a corner with a front bodylock (basically a hug). Chris then delivers a loud slap to the face, which causes Sly to get angry. He tries running at Chris, but Stevens sends him down with a drop toe hold. Chris immediately flops over Sly and transitions into a side headlock on the mat. Sly doesn't stay in position too long, as he starts rising to his feet as Chris holds on and rises with him. Sly then tries shoving Stevens off to the ropes, but Chris holds onto the headlock and stays still.

 

COACH

Stevens has about a twenty-five pound weight advantage, and all of that weight goes into leverage and strength that he has over Sommers.

 

Sly then throws two jabs to Chris's kidneys to distract him with pain before trying it again. Chris loses his grip momentarily before pulling Sly to him by the hair and locking the headlock back in. Chris cranks it on tight in center-ring, but he maybe applies it too tightly, as he ends up applying the most pressure to the top of Sly's head, allowing him to slip out and put Chris's arm in a reverse hammerlock.

 

COLE

Very basic stuff here so far.

 

Sly then changes his grip on the arm and tries taking Chris down with a Fujiwara armbar. But, Chris does a forward roll to escape and applies a front facelock to ground Sly. Chris immediately switches back to the headlock and pulls Sly up to his feet with it. But, that seems to work against him, as Sly lifts him off of the ground with the headlock applied. However, Chris knew it was coming somewhat, as he reaches back with his legs and brings Sly over with a flying side headscissors, keeping the headscissors applied for a wear-down hold on the mat.

 

COACH

Nice strategy by Stevens so far; he's wearing down Sly as soon as possible with holds that won't take much energy away from himself, as Sly's proven he can go full-tilt-boogie for long distances, such as in his one-hour time limit draw against Crystal back in Australia.

 

Sly tries pulling his head out of the headscissors, but can't. So, he rolls to a front position, as he's planning on attempting to do a headstand pop-out. But, Chris knew it was coming from watching previous Sly matches, and rolls Sly over on the other side. But, Sly's obviously been training in terms of counter-counters in Japan, as he immediately rolls backwards, does the headstand pop-up to his feet from a side position, and then comes down hard on Chris's stomach with a double stomp!

 

COLE

That's one way of getting your opponent's attention!

 

Sly then runs, bounces off of the ropes, but misses with a running rolling senton on Chris, who rolled out of the way in the nick of time. Both competitors come up, and Chris sends Sly down with an uppercut punch to the jaw.

 

COLE

Stevens has a deceptively strong right hand.

 

Chris pulls Sly up and slams him back down before he starts a series of standing kneedrops to Sly's forehead. He hits three perfectly before dropping the fourth across Sly's throat. He then sits on his knees, choking Sly with his shin. The referee notices the choke, and gives Chris a five-count to break the choke, which Chris narrowly gives it up in time.

 

COACH

I see that Chris has adapted well to cheating quickly.

 

Chris then pulls Sly up and whips him off to the ropes. Sly bounces off of the ropes and runs into a boot to the mid-section. Chris then comes off of the ropes to the side and hits a spinning neckbreaker. Chris goes right into the pin...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

Chris immediately pulls Sly up to a bent position and strikes him in the face with his knee. He then hooks Sly in and hits a snap suplex before going for another cover...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

Chris pulls Sly up to his feet again and forearms him in the face before shoving him into a corner. Stevens follows up with a Kevin Nash-esque back elbow before applying a headlock on Sly in the corner. He uses that to skid Sly's eyes and forehead across the top rope. He lets go of the cheating tactic after the referee counts to four. He then shoves Sly down to the mat before falling down with a falling headbutt to the shoulder and neck. Chris follows up with a cocky cover without hooking the leg...

 

1...

2...

Kickout.

 

COLE

You HAVE to hook the leg, man.

 

Chris jaws with the referee about how long Sly was down, giving Sommers time to recouperate on the mat before pulling him up to the mat. Stevens goes for an Irish whip on Sly, but Sly is able to reverse it. Stevens bounces off of the ropes and runs into a hiptoss. However, Chris is able to turn his body around in mid-move and reverse it into a jawbreaker that he immediately follows up with a clothesline to send Sly down.

 

COACH

That was quite smooth and flawless for such an awkward reversal.

 

Stevens pulls Sly up, as he spits the gum in his mouth over the ropes and onto a fan in the front row. He then sends Sly off to the ropes on the other side with an Irish whip. Sly bounces off and runs directly into a jumping heel kick directly to the jaw. Chris then rushes up to the second rope and connects with a flying legdrop. Stevens turns around and goes for the lateral press.

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout.

 

Chris pulls Sly up and takes a huge breath in frustration. He then cranks Sly's head and hits a neckbreaker onto his knee. Stevens doesn't give Sly much time to breathe, however, as he immediately pulls Sly up with a rear chinlock. He then drops Sly across his bent knee neck-first again before pulling him up again and applying another headlock.

 

COACH

Stevens might want to be careful; too many attempts at a move leave you wide open for a match-ending reversal, especially considering Sly uses the most dangerous version of the side suplex in the business today.

 

However, Chris gets a bit too big for his britches, as he actually lets the headlock up to stand Sly up and laugh at him while he delivers an insulting slap to the face. Chris looks away while keeping ahold of Sly...and Sly puts him in a wristlock! Sly immediately transitions that into a hammerlock as Stevens starts freaking out!

 

COLE

I bet he didn't see that coming!

 

The crowd cheers Sly until Chris ends the brief comeback by getting out of the hammerlock with a drop toe hold before flopping over and locking in a front chancery (front facelock with arm hooked). He pulls Sly up with it before hitting a violently-fast front chancery suplex that he immediately transitions into a rear chinlock. However, Chris shows youthful immaturity by giving it up within five seconds to pull Sly up and slam him face-first across his knee, with the force flipping Sly over.

 

COACH

As good of a knee strike that was, I really doubt giving up the rear chinlock that early was a smart move.

 

Chris pulls Sly up and snapmares him over. He keeps ahold of Sly's neck and pulls him up, only to snapmare him over again. He again keeps ahold of Sly's neck and snapmares him over. Once more, Stevens pulls Sly up and snapmares him. He stops after the fourth time to lock in a cobra clutch on Sly, who's seated on the mat.

 

COLE

The repeated snapmares had to of messed up Sly's equilibrium.

 

Chris cranks in on the hold tightly, but the fans start clapping in unison to give Sly the energy to overcome this. Slowly, Sly starts to rise to his feet. Chris repeatedly shakes his head in shock as Sly comes up to one knee. He then starts to elbow Stevens in the stomach, which enables him to wiggle his head and arm out of the hold as he comes up to his feet. He escapes the hold and tries running to the ropes, but Stevens pulls him in by the hair and right back for a spinning facebuster!

 

COACH

C'mon, ref! That's way too many hair pulls in one match to be considered legal!

 

Stevens pulls Sly off of the mat and connects with a stiff chop to the chest before again sending him off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Chris goes for his signature high knee when Sly bounces off of the ropes, but Sly has it scouted, as he's able to duck it and run to the other side. Sly comes off of the ropes again, but runs into a snap powerslam that's immediately cradled into a pin...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout.

 

Stevens pulls Sly up again and shoves him into a corner. He then connects with two consecutive knee strikes to the stomach before going for a Flatliner. But, Sly holds onto the rope and won't let go so Chris can't pull him down. Stevens sees this, notices that the referee's out of place, and gives Sly a rake to the eyes before successfully hitting the Flatliner.

 

COLE

Stevens just doesn't seem to like playing fair tonight, now does he?

 

Stevens then rolls Sly out of the ring. Sly dazily comes to his feet, and gets a pescado (slingshot bodypress to floor) for his troubles. Chris pulls Sly up, as the referee's flat-out telling the crowd that he's relaxing the count-out rule so that we get a winner. Stevens locks Sly in a cravate before slamming his face into the apron. Stevens then climbs to the apron, and awaits Sly to get to his feet. When Sommers gets up, Stevens runs and leaps off of the apron...right into a belly-to-belly suplex on the concrete!

 

COACH

I don't know where he got the energy to do that, but that was goshdarn impressive!

 

The crowd starts clapping in unison and chanting "SLY!" as both slowly rise to their feet. Sly's up first, after about eight-ten seconds of pergatory. He grabs Stevens and tosses him back into the ring before shaking his arm and rolling back in himself. Sly sees that Chris is coming to his feet, so he goes up to the top rope. When Chris is fully standing, Sly leaps off of the top rope...and gets met with a kick to the stomach by Stevens. Chris follows up with a DDT before floating over into a lateral press...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Stevens runs his hands through his hair in frustration before pulling Sly up. He takes a second to regain his composure from the belly-to-belly on the floor before hitting a front slam on Sly. Chris steps over Sly, hops to the second rope, and hits a moonsault that immediately goes into a pin...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Stevens then pulls Sly up, lifts him on his shoulders, and hits a Finley Roll (rolling Samoan drop). Chris immediately rolls back onto his feet and climbs up to the top rope. He screams to the crowd, "You guys want to see something cool?" The crowd cheers...so Chris smirks at them, gives them all the finger, hops back down to the mat, and delivers a Hogan-style legdrop!

 

COLE

This is NOT the time to be smarting off to these fans!

 

Chris then goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Stevens then pulls Sly up with a front facelock. He hooks Sly's arm over his head, lifts him, and hits a slingshot suplex. Chris keeps ahold of Sly, comes up with him still hooked, and hits a second slingshot suplex. Stevens then pulls Sly up with his arms butterflied. Stevens lifts him with a double underhook and flips Sly in mid-air to drop him with a reverse DDT.

 

COACH

Very inventive manuever there by someone who's been basically going "old school" the entire match.

 

Chris then goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Chris pulls Sly up again, hooks him, and drops him with a front-face suplex. Stevens then pulls Sly close to the ropes before going to the apron. Stevens launches himself over the top rope and hits a slingshot legdrop. Stevens goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

You can definately see the frustration growing by the look on Chris Stevens' face.

 

Stevens then pulls Sly up in a reverse DDT neckgrip before lifting him up and driving him down with a spinning Curtain Call. Stevens again goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Stevens again argues with the referee about a slow count. The referee blows him off, so Chris angrily pulls Sly back up to his feet. He then hooks Sly's neck and leg. Chris goes for a fisherman's neckbreaker, but Sommers twists out in the nick of time. Sly ends up behind Chris, and hooks his neck. Sommers yells out "ONE HIT WONDER!", which gives Chris the idea to turn it around and drop Sly with a reverse DDT.

 

COACH

I don't care if you have your opponent near unconciousness; if you flat-out say what you're going for next, chances are that he's going to reverse it.

 

Stevens quickly rolls backwards onto his feet and pulls Sly up from behind. Chris then hooks Sly's neck from behind and drops him with a reverse jawbreaker, jamming his own skull up into the back of Sly's neck. He then chains that into a Cobra clutch Russian legsweep variation and floats it into a lateral press...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Kickout!

 

Stevens pulls Sommers up yet again, and goes for a suplex. But, in mid-move, Sly reverses it into an Edge-o-Matic (reverse facebuster)! Sommers stays sitting to rest for a few seconds before coming to his feet as he sees Chris stumbling upward. When Chris is up, Sly charges at him with a Yakuza kick. But, Chris ducks and brings Sly over with a schoolboy...

 

1...

 

2...

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

That was almost it!

 

Both competitors come up at around the same time, and Stevens connects with a clothesline where he puts his bent knee behind Sly, causing Sly to land spine-first onto it. Chris pulls Sly off of his knee and brings him down with a front-fall neckbreaker. Chris then goes for the cover yet again...

 

1...

 

2...

 

Rope Break!

 

Chris shakes the bottom rope angrily for a second before choking Sly with his bare hands. He barely breaks in time for the five-count to expire. Stevens then pulls Sly up with a rear chinlock firmly applied. But, by the time both are standing, Sly's throwing rapid-fire elbows to the kidney, and is able to escape. Sly comes off of the ropes, but Chris ducks his running lariat. Stevens comes behind Sly and brings him down with a sleeper drop!

 

COLE

The pace is picking up quickly here!

 

COACH

...and now that Chris has decided to keep the sleeper applied on the mat, the pace pretty much just died.

 

Stevens does keep the sleeper applied on the mat, trying to wear Sly out into unconciousness. Sly's eyes slowly shut, as the "SLY!" chants start up again. The referee then starts the "arm drop" test that will decide if Sly's unable to continue...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

THR...The arm stays up!

 

Stevens looks at the arm, and comedically starts blowing on it to try and send it down. But, Sommers instead starts pumping it in the air, trying to get the crowd to clap along with the rhythm of his fist's pumping. The crowd's clapping gets quite loud, as Sly starts on his way back up to his feet. Chris tries cranking down on the sleeper as Sly comes to his feet, but Sly doesn't go down. Sly finally gets up to his feet...and starts firing away with ridiculously quick punches and elbows to the stomach!

 

COLE

This crowd has lit a fire in Sly Sommers's ass!

 

Sly keeps going with the strikes to the mid-section, as the crowd gets louder with each one. Finally, Chris has almost let go of his grip...and a strong uppercut to the jaw sends him off and down! The crowd erupts! Stevens stumbles up to his feet as Sly comes off of the ropes...and Sommers connects with a diving lariat!

 

COACH

I think it's safe to say that Sly's making a comeback!

 

Sommers kips up, as he awaits Chris getting up. Stevens stumbles back up to his feet and walks right into a hiptoss converted into a reverse falling DDT in mid-move! Sly pulls Chris up, and connects with a stiff forearm to the face that sends Chris down! Chris pops back up, and runs into another forearm to his face! Sly pulls Chris up and gives him an Irish whip. Stevens comes off of the ropes and grabs Sly, turning around and reversing the Irish whip.

 

COLE

What's this?

 

Sly comes off of the ropes...and ducks Chris's signature superkick! But, he comes off of the ropes on the other side and gets ran over with a big high knee to the face! Chris collapses down on Sly's prone body and goes for the pin...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COACH

That was ridiculously close!

 

Chris sits on his BUTT for a second and yells out "DAMN IT!" He gets up and pulls Sly up to his feet. He then gives Sommers yet another Irish whip. Sly comes off of the ropes and runs right into a second high knee! However, Chris decides against going for the cover, and pulls Sly up again. He gives him another Irish whip...and delivers a THIRD high knee to the face! Chris immediately goes for the cover...

 

1..

 

 

2...

 

 

ROPE BREAK!

 

COACH

If Sly hadn't of gotten his foot on the bottom rope, it would have been curtains for him and his career.

 

Chris leaves the frustration aside, and immediately pulls Sly up. He hooks Sly's head and goes for a reverse suplex. But, he has trouble lifting Sly up. He tries again, but again can only get Sly up so high before possibly messing up the move. So, he puts him down and slaps his face from that position before re-hooking him and getting him up all the way for the reverse suplex...but he does it a little too well, as the momentum sends Sly over and onto his feet...and Sly reverses into the One Hit Wonder!

 

COLE

That could do it!

 

Sly goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

2...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Sly slowly crawls up to his feet, having to repeatedly brush the hair out of his face while doing so. He then starts climbing up to the top rope, until he's finally perched for a moonsault. But, the slowness of his movement gives Chris enough time to get up to his feet. He walks over to Sly and starts throwing fast forearms to his back. Stevens then gets his head in between Sly's legs and goes for a powerbomb...but Sly reverses into a hurricanrana with a cradle!

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both competitors slowly come to their feet, showing the wear-and-tear from this contest. Sly throws a clothesline, but Chris ducks it. Sly turns around, and Chris lifts him on his shoulders, dropping him with a Death Valley Driver! Chris goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

THRE...SLY KICKS OUT!

 

Chris pulls Sly up with his arms butterflied, and goes for a Tiger Bomb. But, Sly's basically deadweight and therefore is very hard to lift. So, Chris grabs him by the hair and yanks him down to the mat, threatening to smack the referee if he yells at him. Stevens stomps Sly three times, then points upward...

 

COLE

This could be it for Sly...I think he's alluding to his ever-so-dangerous Frog Splash!

 

Chris goes to the apron and then scales up to the top rope. Stevens yells, "It's OVER!" and launches off....but Sly moves, causing Chris to miss the frog splash! The referee then counts down both downed competitors...

 

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

 

Chris is sitting in a corner, as Sly's barely on one knee...

 

6...

7...

 

Chris pulls himself out of the corner as Sly's stumbling around on his feet. They both come center-ring, and Chris connects with a LOUD chop to the chest. Sly responds with a stiffer chop of his own. They then go back-and-forth with a series of almost-disgustingly stiff chops, so fast that it's nearly pointless to go through the back-and-forth-ness. Finally, Sly ends the series by grabbing Chris's arm during a chop attempt and sending him down with a Fujiwara armbar.

 

COACH

That was a creative way to stop someone from hitting you...

 

However, it's short-lived, as Chris quickly gets to the ropes. But, Sly shows some aggressiveness, pulling Chris away from the ropes by the arm instead of a clean break, and pulling him up while applying a wristlock. He then puts his leg over the elbow and hits a Rocker Dropper onto the elbow.

 

COLE

Creative targetting of the arm.

 

Sly comes up to his feet, as Chris comes up to one knee, holding his arm. Sly runs at Chris...and connects with an odd Shining Wizard to the shoulder! Sly then grabs the arm and locks in a cross armbreaker! Chris looks as if he's going to tap...but then rolls backwards and leans to his side, putting Sly in a schoolboy...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COACH

Sly was a milisecond away from becoming the lowest bit on the OAOAST Totem Pole!

 

When Sly kicks out, he wraps his legs around Chris's neck and applies a triangle choke. Chris looks like he's fading for a second...before lifting Sly and dropping him like a powerbomb. Chris then pulls Sly up, and starts throwing very boxer-esque right and left hooks to Sly's face. Sommers is practically out on his feet, so Stevens backs up and goes for the superkick...but Sly catches the foot!

 

COLE

That was out of NOWHERE!

 

Chris tries begging off, but Sly shakes his head "no", and spins Chris around. He then grabs the arm, jumps and leaps off of the second rope, and hits a divorce court (tornado single-arm DDT), which he immediately transitions into a bridging hammerlock! The crowd starts chanting "TAP!" at Chris, and he just about does...but then rolls forward and yanks his arm out of the hammerlock!

 

COACH

He could have hyperextended his shoulder just reversing that hold!

 

Stevens quickly clinches Sly's head in a headlock and pulls him up with it. Chris thinks he has something...but Sly then lifts him with a side suplex twisted into a Dominator! Sly goes for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

WHAT?

 

COACH

I could have sworn that was IT!

 

Sly pulls Chris up to a bent position and waves his hands to signal that it's "over". He then hooks Chris's arms across his chest and lifts him for the Slyledriver. BUT, Chris wiggles his way out and comes back down on his feet, immediately connecting with his superkick when landing. He goes for another cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

SLY GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE!

 

COLE

Jesus H. Christ!

 

Chris goes berserk, and starts repeatedly punching the mat while screaming in frustration! Stevens rises to his feet and yells at Sly to get up. Sommers basically just lays there, attempting to get up but lacking the energy to do so. Chris eventually has to go over and pull Sly up to his knees by the hair just to get him off of the mat. Chris then walks back to the other end of the ring while Sly rises. When Sly finally gets to his feet, Chris charges at him with a second superkick...but SLY DUCKS!

 

COACH

YO~!

 

Sly then hooks Chris from behind, clutches Chris's arm over his own chest, and drops him on his skull with the USA High Angle Backdrop 2K4! But, Sly doesn't let go of his grip on Chris, as he comes back up to his feet with Stevens hooked for the USAHA2K4...and hits the move again, dropping him on his skull! Sly bridges with it for the pin...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2....

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

OH MY GOD~!

 

COACH

Chris Stevens might have just done the impossible...

 

But, Sly immediately rolls over on top of Chris after the kickout, hooks his head and arm, and turns him over into the crossface chicken wing! Sly applies the bodyscissors to keep Stevens in place...and HE TAPS!

 

*DING**DING!*

 

::THE CROWD ERUPTS!::

 

BUFFER

YOUR WINNER...SLLLLLY SOOOOOOMMMMMERRRRRSSS!

 

COLE

That was quite the win for Sly Sommers!

 

COACH

Sly narrowly escapes having to become a "Young Lion" once again in a hard-fought battle!

 

Sly rolls out of the ring, and has his hand raised by the referee out on the floor. He's obviously worn out from the hard match, holding his neck and unbalancedly walking to the back while slapping hands with his fans.

 

COLE

Love him or hate him, you've gotta give props to Chris Stevens here tonight. This kid took the fight to a guy who some have referred to as a main-eventer. He nearly defeated the guy who, just one month ago, people were saying was the top candidate to end Crystal's title reign early.

 

COACH

Of course, the predictions have now gone to Hoff being the one to take it from her prematurely, but nonetheless...Chris Stevens basically dominated most of this match. If it weren't for a tiny mistake or two here and there, he would have beaten Sly Sommers tonight and taken his spot on our roster.

 

COLE

Let's not forget: he kicked out of TWO USA High Angle Backdrop 2K4's in a row, whereas Sly used rope breaks for most of Chris's signature moves. Not to discredit Sly's victory, but it's safe to say that Chris Stevens upped his game here tonight, even in defeat. Congratulations to both competitors on a hard-fought contest that we all here enjoyed thouroughly.

 

COACH

Up next: another match.

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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(We get a shot of some dude in the front row. He's dressed to pimp his shizzle. It's fairly obvious that he rolls the best weed, cause' he got it goin on. He seems like a nice dude, with some nice dreams.)

 

COLE

There's the winner of the OAOAST.com costume contest, which I was the judge for! His name is Calvin Broadus from Long Beach, California! He won for his awesome Snoop Doggy Dogg costume! And how bout that? He's wearing the costume right now! What dedication! He looks just like the Doggfather!

 

COACH

You're an idiot.

 

(Spotlight shines on MB)

 

BUFFER

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE FIRST EVER TRICK OR TREAT MATCH BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE OAOAST AND COSMO GIRL! THE RULES ARE AS FOLLOWS; At the five minute mark, one gimmick is added to the match, at the ten minute mark another gimmick is piled on top of that and at the twenty minute mark the third and final gimmick comes into play! The participants must also wear costumes!

 

COLE

Alright! We have a match between Alix Spezia of the number four ranked tag team, Chicks Over Dicks and her ex-future sister in law, Holly-Wood, who represents the number six ranked tag team, the Muses and tried to murder me last week. Certainly this is one of our more odd matches. Its a Trick Or Treat match presented by the OAOAST and Cosmo Girl. The rules have changed a bit since it was first announced. The match can end at anytime and only three gimmicks will be added. Whereas before it could only end after two gimmicks were announced and new gimmicks would be added every ten minutes.

 

COACH

Let's hope one is bra and panties!

 

CABOOSE

If Holly-Wood wins then the Muses are free to rock and roll! There's a lot more then won loss records at stake in this match. And Cole no one would think any less of you if you crap your pants when she comes out.

 

Lets Gooooo! Lets Gooooo!

If you want it you can get it let me know (let me know),

I'm bout to fuck a nigga up, Lets Gooooo! (Lets Gooooo!)

If you want it you can get it let me know (let me know),

I'm bout to fuck a nigga up, Lets Gooooo! (Lets Gooooo!)

 

A smoke machine clouds the entrance ramp with uh...smoke. Red and gold lights twist about the venue. Finally a spotlight in the shape of the Hollywood sign settles on the entrance ramp. Through that thick smog steps none other then Holly-Wood! The haze is still clouding the area and we're unable to see her costume. She steps out a bit further and now we get a look at her outfit. She's dressed as Cammy from Street Fighter, complete with ugly red beret, stockings with green spots, funky hair and a bathing suit that shrinks into a thong in a back. The male fans and some female fans cheer for Holly's revealing outfit.

 

CABOOSE

Niiiiiiice.

 

COACH

Step away boy, Big Coach has 11 inches of big tymer love for this phat ass honey. I dont think that the Cholos in LA can satisfy her needs... But I can.

 

COLE

What the hell are you talking about?

 

COACH

Nothing you'd understand, Will & Grace.

 

BUFFER

Now making her way to the ring, from Hollywood, California, weighing in at enough pounds to kick YOUR ass, she appears courtesy of Arista Records, HOLLLY-WOOOODDD!!!!!!

 

Holly walks down the ring, still trying to get used to her awkward costume. She takes the beret off and casually tosses it into the fans, where several audience members battle over the rights to take it home.

 

COLE

Holly is Northstar's step sister. I think she's doing this as much for him as for the Saints.

 

Holly enters the squared circle and glares meanly at the entrance area as if she's trying to use some sort of mind powers to blow it to bits.

 

Avril Lavigne's painful ballad, "Nobody's home" fires out of the speakers, leading the crowd to erupt with a thunderous celebration! Stepping out from behind the mass of spider webs is Alix Spezia! Her appearance whips the crowd into further frenzy! For tonight's match Alix is masquerading as Punky Brewster. Her brown hair is whipped into free flowing pig tails. She's wearing a red shoe on her left foot, a green on her white foot, a blue shirt, a red denim jacket and a pair of blue jeans that look they went through a paper shredder.

 

COACH

Bah! Too many..um what are those things called again? Oh yeah, CLOTHES! I sucked dick for Coke. You ever sucked dick for weed? BOO this woman, BOO!

 

COLE

I love Punky Brewster!

 

CABOOSE

That's only because you had a crush on Henry.

 

COLE

I like older men. Sue me.

 

BUFFER

And the opponent, from San Jose, California...weighing in at one hundred and thirty five pounds, she is one half of Chicks Over Dicks, ALIX SPEZIAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

Alix walks down the entrance ramp, pulling candy out of a giant bag and tossing it into the audience. Even though, there's plenty to go around the moronic cocksuckers in the stands still fight over it.

 

CABOOSE

The Saints are watching this match with baited breath. Holly has come to dig them out of the mess that they created.

 

Both women are in the ring and refuses to let her gaze depart from Holly. Her eyes follow her across the arena as she scales to the top rope and throws out the peace sign! The loyal fans match the gesture!

 

With both competitors situated in the ring the ref, Keith Primeau (not the Keith Primeau) calls for the bell

 

DING DING DING DING

 

Alix leaps at Holly with arms in the air for a lockup! Holly ducks behind and airborne Alix, wraps her arms around her waist and twists her to the side with a wrestling takedown. Alix is dropped to the mat, but her pride is more hurt then anything. Holly backs away from her rival and starts to sport an arrogant look. The expression on Alix's face lets Holly know that while she may have won the opening battle, Alix fully plans on winning the war. Alix stands up and springs at Holly! Holly catches her with a knee to the gut! Alix doubles over and Holly is sharp to toss her into the ropes with an Irish whip! Holly follows Alix in for a high knee lift but Alix turns the tide with a springboard dropkick! Holly falls back to the mat in a heap! This time its Holly's turn to have her pride hurt! In addition to her unusual costume, Alix wears a giddy grin. Holly slowly picks herself up off the mat. Whereas her opponent is all smiles, she is less then amused. Alix backs away from her former companion and extends her arm as if to say “Go on and stand up I won't hurt you.” Holly shoots Alix her “fuck off” glare as she regards her gesture as one of disrespect as opposed to politeness. She stands and the two meet for a lockup. Neither woman has a noticeable strength advantage and as such their battle over the basic hold proves to be a fierce but pointless fight. Loud groans are heard from each competitor as they exert countless amounts of energy to the task of forcing the other down. Perhaps the smarter of the two, Holly realizes the absurdity of the situation and abruptly ends the lockup. Alix stares with a quizzical look that asks what Holly's thinking. She gets her answer in the form of a lariat! Alix ducks under Holly's arm and quickly tags her with speedy superkick! But Holly catches Alix's boot and slams her leg back to the mat! Alix can only wonder how she missed a surefire attack! Holly grabs Alix into a front face lock of infinite death! Again they wage another war for dominance which Holly wins by lifting Alix for a vertical suplex! Holly's victory has a shorter life then a fruit fly as Alix smartly counters it into a vertical suplex of her own! Holly gets one up on Alix and ends up slipping behind her, facing away from Alix. Holly lands on both feet, but stumbles forwards a few inches. This gaffe eliminates any advantage she hoped to gain and she damns herself under her breath. She turns around just in time to use her forearm to block Alix's punch! Again Alix goes for a punch! Holly reads her like a children's book and blocks the incoming blow with remarkable ease! Holly to goes on the attack and knees Alix in the stomach! Holly tries to come down on Alix with a fame asser! BUT Alix counters the move with a Samon Drop! The look on Holly's face is one of pure disappointment mixed with strong pain as Alix takes her back to the mat with a superb counter!

 

On the lower left hand corner of the screen sits a time counter that reads 2:45.

 

“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!”

 

COLE

The unpredictability of this match lends itself to Al...

 

COACH

Man, hush. Gimme another shot of Holly-Wood's bootay. Coach be da lucky playa-playa tappin dat fine azz! BRAAAAAAAAINZ, MAMI, BRAAAAAAAAAAAINZ!

 

Both lovely ladies are standing up. Alix fires off what she hopes will be a painful thrust kick! Holly has other ideas and she grabs Alix's leg and sends her twisting to the mat like a runaway ferris wheel with a dragon screw! Holly tries to get Alix into a leg lock but the tanned brunette rolls through the move and the submission hold is never applied! Every line on Holly's face reads frustration and her skin is flush with anger. Alix, who is on her feet, seems to relish seeing her adversary flustered and continues to sport that cute smile she's known for. Holly attempts to turn that smile rightside up with a running clothesline! But Alix side steps the move and Holly runs right into the ropes! Her arm somehow gets tangled up between the top one and the second one! Beads of sweat shoot off her forehead like bullets from a gattling gun as she frantically tries to free herself from a sticky situation! Alix thinks back to the Girl Scout meeting where she was told that she should always help a person in need and realizes that Holly is a person in dire need! Alix lends a “helping” hand by grabbing hold of Holly's legs and dumping her to the outside! Holly tumbles over the ropes but somehow manages to land on her feet! Again her clumsiness proves to be her downfall as she wobbles backwards and ends up falling flat on her BUTT!

 

COACH

Arista records might want to find a new liaison! How many more minutes till bra and panties?

 

COLE

Coach, are you insane? If Holly showed any more skin we'd be broadcasting this pay per view on the Spice Channel.

 

ALIX COMES OFF THE TOP WITH AN ASAI MOONSAULT~! Holly pulls herself out of the way! Will Alix crash into the mat like a downed jet fighter? NO! She lands on her tennis shoed feet! Holly leans against the ring apron to catch her breath. When she sees that Alix avoided a disastrous landing, she slams her hand against her forehead and asks the gods above what she has to do to beat this woman! For one thing she needs to avoid Alix's next move! Alix tries to splash Holly and sandwich her between the apron and her body! Holly steps forward, grabs a hold of the side of Alix's body, uses her own momentum against her and tosses her up, back first into the ropes! BUT Alix places her hands on the edge of the apron for support and flips backwards! On the way down she catches Holly with a DDT~! SMAACK! Holly's head gets spiked into the mats! Holly's body hangs in the air for what feels like an eternity before finally rolling forward and onto the floor! The crowd erupts with a chorus of cheers for Alix, who seems to be holding her hand against her back as if it was an ice pack.

 

COLE

What an innovative move! Holly's other lone pay per view match came when she and Alix Spezia teamed up to handle Candie. Happier times for those two.

 

COACH

It would be happy times for the Coach if we could zoom in on Holly's BUTT. Thong, th-th-thong!

 

Alix picks up a hurt Holly and rolls her into the ring. She follows her enemy into the squared circle and stays right on her with a number hard stomps! With each stomp, Holly's breath escapes her despite her best attempts to keep it in. Understanding the obvious, that its impossible to win if you never get a move in, Holly grabs Alix's stomping leg and pulls it out from under her, dropping her to the mat with a single leg takedown! Holly crawls to the ropes that betrayed her mere minutes earlier and uses them to pull herself to her feet. Her reddish hair hangs lazily in front of her face, blocking her sweat drenched forehead. It gives her a very casual look, but this match has all the casualness of a Florida hurricane. Holly spots Alix getting to her feet. She brushes a few strands of hair away from her enyy colored eyes and darts at Alix! Alix lifts her head up at the exact wrong moment and Holly is able to nail her smack in the face with a running elbow smash!

 

EHERRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

COLE

What the heck?

 

CABOOSE

That's a buzzer! That means its time to announce the first stipulation.

 

Frowning, Holly holds her hands to hips and shakes her head. “Just my luck” She mumbles. “I start to get on a roll and the match has to be stopped for Alix's stupid gimmick.” Holly kicks the ropes, pretending just for an instant that they were the fools who sanctioned this match.

 

The crowd, who doesn't share Holly's understandable displeasure, buzzes with a grand anticipation equal to that of little kids at a local mall who are about to meet “Santa” for the first time.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen...the first gimmick of this Trick or Treat match is....SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE!

 

The announcement raises more questions then it answered. Like who's the ref? And what role will he play in determining in the outcome of this match.

 

COLE

Special guest referee? Mystery on top of a mystery! Who will it be?

 

This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius!

 

The opening line of Fifth Dimension's disco track garners quite the reaction from the sold out crowd. This match has suddenly got a lot more interesting. Questions are raised as to which Muse it'll be. But before suspense can build, Logan Cowabunga Mann steps out from the back. He's actually in costume also, dressed like Tarzan. Minus the jungle man's profund muscle definition, Logan looks like Dave Chappelle if he decided to strap on an afro and wear a tiny loin cloth. No one cheers for his revealing outfit.

 

COLE

Business is picking up! This contest just got a bit more interesting!

 

COACH

And my penis just went soft. Logan put a freaking shirt on, man! I'm begging ya!

 

Holly eyes her client with rueful skepticism. There was a fifty fifty chance that it could've been either Saint. But she had to admit to herself that when she saw Logan instead of Synth, her heart sank a few inches. Regardless, she can't lament the choice of guest referees, she has a job to do. And she intends on doing that job very well. The break in action had allowed Alix to recover from the dropkick, rendering what could've been a lethal strike useless. It was another in a long line of disappointments in Holly's life, but she tries not to dwell on it. Instead she meets Alix in the ring where the two exchange forearms. Alix gets the upper hand by mixing in left forearms with rights. It's a basic but deadly combination that Holly isn't sharp enough to counter. Alix backs Holly into the ropes, then leans into her. Alix grabs onto her opponent's arm and propels her into the ropes with an Irish whip! When Holly comes back, Alix leaps onto her for a hurricanrana~! But Holly grabs hold of Alix's legs and flips her off! Alix lands on her feet, but she also lands right into Holly's trap! Holly grabs Alix into a front facelock, hooks her knee, then twists her around like she was a bottle top, smoking her with a twisting fishermen's suplex!

 

COACH

She calls that the Rodeo Driver!

 

CABOOSE

Count the pin, Logan.

 

1

 

 

2

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

Holly's eyes narrow and her eyebrows curve downward. She casts an aggravated glare in Logan's direction. It's a look that Logan's used to seeing from women in clubs that he hits on, not from one who's assigned to salvage his floundering music career. Holly turns her attention back on Alix and pulls her to her feet. Holly whips Alix into the ropes! But Alix comes back like a runaway tank and hits Holly with a spinning wheel kick! Holly drops like a rock! Holding her face she rolls to the side. Alix follows her up and tries to land what little body weight she has onto Holly with a standing moonsault! Holly quickly rolls out of the way! If she hadn't, her entire face might have been grounded into bits by Alix's chest. Both women stand up at the same time, but with a killer instinct far greater then that of her peaceful rival, it's Holly who lunges at Alix! She jumps onto Alix like a pitbull off its leash! Holly takes out years of pent up frustration and anger on Alix's back with clubbing forearms! Alix bends over, defenseless, and continues to be pounded by her ex-friend. Ending her forearm assault and sweeping in front of Alix, Holly wraps her arms around Alix' waist and drops her to the mat with a gutwrench suplex! If Holly was lucky, that would be enough to put Alix out before the second stipulation could be announced.

 

COLE

It's important for Holly to stay on the attack. Alix bounces back quick. That's her trademark.

 

Before Holly can even attempt a pin, Alix stands up. Holly tilts her body in disgust and her dark crimson lips curl into a sharp frown. Holly takes the Punky Brewster look alike and again sails her into the ropes! With an agility that would put a circus acrobat to shame Alix leaps onto the third rope and throws herself back at Holly with a lionsault press! Holly steps out of the way but Alix lands on her feet! “Sickening.” Holly comments on Alix's uncanny ability to escape near doom. Alix tosses out a rare punch, but all Holly feels is a gust of cool wind as she leans backwards and avoids the move. Holly throws a forearm but Alix blocks it and shoves her away . Holly's emotional roller coaster has her visibly fuming and Alix takes advantage of her frayed state by leaping onto her shoulders, twisting around and nailing her with a victory roll! Logan counts the pin!

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

The eldest of the the two women, Holly, not so kindly informs Logan that his count was a little on the fast side. Unfortunately she has more important things to do then debate pin count speed. Such as finding out how she's going to avoid Alix's top rope corkscrew body press! Sadly her brain can't work at supersonic speed and the solution to the problem remains absent. Alix's chest slams into her spandex covered one and both women tumble to the mat with Alix in full control! Logan drops down for another pin count.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

The buzzer sounds, electrifying the crowd! The fans talk amongst themselves, trying to predict what the final stipulation will be. Of course no one is waiting with more anticipation then Coach! He's eagerly anticipating bra and panties. Will our lovable pervert be disappointed?

 

BUFFER

And the second stipulation....this match is now a two out of three falls contest!

 

Cheers from the sheepish crowd, who fail to realize that neither woman is known for their stamina, are heard. Holly doesn't even bother to wait for the commotion to die down! She wants this match to end and end now! She immediately pounces on Alix for a Hollywood Groove (Liontamer) The fan's cheers turn to transgressing boos! Alix flops about like a fish on a hook and eventually gets herself to the ropes before Holly can properly turn her over. Alix frees her legs from Holly's then kicks her rival right in the stomach! Holly doubles over and backs away from Alix. With a good amount of distance between them, Alix is free to get to her feet without hindrance. She stands up and runs at Holly with a flying spinning forearm! CRACK! Alix's arms crashes into Holly's face and they both tumble to the canvas! It's Holly who's worse for the wear and she tries to roll away from Alix. Alix tenaciously stays right on her case and pulls her into an arm bar! But Holly avoids the hold like it was salmonella wrapped and yanks her arm away! Both women stand up, Alix's brief offensive advantage all but gone. Holly takes hold of Alix's arm and whips her into the corner! Holly follows her in with a corner avalanche, smashing her chest into Alix's face! Alix starts to stumble out of the corner, but her enemy puts her right back with a hard shove! Holly drives a hard elbow across Alix's cheek! She follows that up with a spinning back kick right to her chest! Holly runs her fingers through her hair as she sports her usual frown as her rival is left hurting. She grabs Alix and hurls her back first into the opposite turnbuckle! After a short delay, Holly comes at Alix like an enraged bull with a yakusa kick! NO! Alix moves out of the way! Holly crotches herself on the turnbuckle! The move doesn't effect her as much as it would say, Zack Malibu. Fuming, she pulls her leg off the turnbuckle and uses it to smoke Alix with a leg lariat! Good lord, Holly could've taken Alix's head off with that one!

 

CABOOSE

Solid attack. Show Alix her counter didn't work.

 

Holly rolls out of the ring, where she's heckled by a few drunkards in the first row. Ignoring their invites for oral sex, she digs under the ring for some good old fashion plunder! What she comes up with is a steel chair! As she pulls herself out from under the ring apron the fans are able to see that she has a weapon! They proceed to give Holly more heat then a furnace door! She prepares to roll into the ring with her weapon of choice when Alix nails her with BASEBALL SLIDE! Alix's tennis shoes shove the steel sitting apparatus right into Holly's face! Surprisingly and dismaying to the fans, Holly isn't knocked over. Instead she lurches backwards as if she was drunk. With her eyes watering and her mouth coughing she still holds onto the chair as if it was some irreplaceable jewel.

 

COLE

I wasn't aware this was a hardcore match, but Holly's treating it like it was one. Let's get some order!

 

Camera flashes populate the stands as Alix flies over the ropes with a breath taking plancha! NO! Holly dishes out an inhumane counter by smashing the chair into her ribs! Alix's body twists awkwardly to the side and she lands on the outside floor on her back! As the pain from the landing sends vibrations through her body, Alix starts to tremble uncontrollably. Chants of “Holy shit” rain down from different areas of the building. Holly leans against the guard rail for support. A vacant look sets in her face as she clutches the chair the way a child holds a teddy bear during a frightening thunderstorm. She continues to run her fingers through her hair and stare blankly into space.

 

COACH

The woman is mad! Mad! This wouldn't have gone down in bra and panties match!

 

Her face stilling shockingly expressionless, Holly comes off the guard rail. She raises the chair above her head and brings it down right across Alix's back! CRAAACK! The sound of cold steel meeting warm flesh creates a horrifying sound that travels a hell spun path throughout the venue. Alix drapes her arm across her back, hoping to protect it against any further blows. Red hot lances of pain rip into her bones causing her to say a silent prayer for her safety.

 

CABOOSE

If I was Synth, I'd have a girl's name, but I'd also be very thankful to have a woman like Holly going to bat for me!

 

The fans booing her, Holly takes Alix by the hair and rolls her into the ring. At Logan's request, she leaves the chair behind. With her hand against the ring apron she leans over so that her hair completely obscures her face. She's huffing and puffing like she's either out of breath or preparing to blow a little pig's house down. She whips her head up, swallows hard and prepares to enter the war zone. Holly uses the ring ropes to slowly pull her way onto the apron. As she starts to stand up Alix is amazingly right there with a basement dropkick! With the adrenaline surging through her tiny body its almost as if the incident with the chair never occurred! The blow nearly knocks Holly to the outside but she uses her grip on the second rope to pull herself back onto the apron. Now standing, Alix reaches over to grab her into a front face lock but Holly is amazingly quick with a shoulder block to her stomach! With Alix bent over, Holly rockets herself into the squared circle with a sunset flip! Instead of going for a pointless pin, Holly stands up and grabs Alix into a Hollywood Groove! On cue, the crowd boos. Their negativity is quickly replaced by positivity as Alix is somehow able to power out of the move before harm can befall her!

 

CABOOSE

Holly-wood hasn't allowed Alix to get into her comfort zone.

 

Alix beings to push herself up but Holly runs her hands through her hair then drops a leg right across Alix's neck, effectively keeping her on the ground.

 

COLE

Why is Holly always touching her hair? It's annoying!

 

CABOOSE

Look at it! It's naturally red and she's a neat freak so I bet she shampoos it all the time. I bet it smells like scented vanilla candles. You're just mad because she went wild on you!

 

Holly takes hold of Alix's right leg. Alix scrambles to the ropes as quick as she can, preventing Holly from utilizing a submission technique. Holly looks daggers at Logan who's telling her to let go of Alix's leg. In fact she does the exact opposite of that order and grabs her other leg. Holly yanks Alix away from the ropes and ends up dropping her neck first onto the mat! Holly turns to Logan and gives him her “Fuck off” look that victimized Alix earlier. The Tinseltown terror STILL has Alix's legs so she tries to hit another Hollywood Groove! Just like last time Alix franticly gets to the ropes before Holly can turn her over. Unlike last time, Logan takes matters into his own hands and physically gets in between Holly and Alix. This forces Holly to make an unwelcome clean break. She launches a glare of bitterest gall at Logan, leaving him a tad intimidated.

 

“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!”

 

COLE

Alix is still getting up and fighting. What a trooper!

 

COACH

Trooper? Arguments over women touching their hair? This is the most poorly commentated match we've ever done.

 

Holly forces Alix into a lockup. She spins her rival behind her and then takes her to the mat with a snapmare! Holly steps on Alix's face and twists her foot across her nose! It's a move designed to insult Alix rather then hurt her. Holly hovers over Alix, viewing her with great condescension.

 

COLE

That's a very insulting hold used by Holly-Wood. It has no place in pro wrestling.

 

COACH

Just like you!

 

Holly tries to whip Alix into the ropes. REVERSED~! Holly hits the ropes and comes back into an arm drag! She slams the mat with her fist and stands up, fully intending on knocking Alix's block off! She charges at Alix with a shoulder block! Alix spins around Holly's unattacking shoulder and ends up behind her! Holly comes to a sudden halt! She turns around and and tries to level Alix with a punch! NO! Alix grabs Holly's arm and pulls her down to her stomach! With her opponent grounded, Alix locks on armbar! Holly fights like a mad woman to escape! And she does just that by flipping onto her back and kipping up! She staggers (again like she's drunk) to a corner to catch her breath. But Alix is right there with her for a corner splash! NO! Holly ducks down and flips Alix over the ropes! Much to the crowd's delight and Holly's intense displeasure, Alix lands on the ring apron! The match continues to move at a light speed pace as Holly leaps in front of Alix to shove her to the outside! But Alix knocks her away with a shoulder block to the gut! Holly doubles over and stumbles backwards, wheezing like an old man! Alix climbs to the top rope and takes to the friendly skies with a majestic and glorious 450 STAR FAME-ASS-ER~! If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a photo of that move would be a best selling novel! Holly's face is planted right into the mat! Holly reacts by clutching her bruised face and kicking her feet against the mat.

 

(Coach pulls out his penis and slaps Caboose in the face with it)

COACH

THAT'S WHAT'S UP! COACHCALL~!

 

Alix pulls Holly's arms away from her face and starts to lock her into a fujiwara armbar! But Holly is fully aware of her location in the ring. She slides a few inches to left and hooks her arms around the ropes. Sweat drips from the top of her forehead as her breathing grows heavy. Logan who's been a mostly ineffectual referee calls for a clean break which Alix gives him. Holly rubs her arm, which seems to be aching without relent.

 

COLE

You have to admit, this has been a hard fought and at times dirty match.

 

Holly stands right up into a front face lock! Alix lifts her up for a brainbuster! But Holly frees herself from Alix's clutches! She lands behind her and hooks her into a full nelson! Alix thrashes against Holly's grasp, but to no avail! Holly lifts Alix up and drives her back into the mat with a FULL NELSON SLAM~!~~~! Holly rolls Alix onto her stomach then lazily walks to the corner and slowly climbs to the top turnbuckle. The crowd roars in anticipation for a high risk move! Holly glances to her left then to her right. The capacity crowd continues to cheer and she goes tearing through the air with a frog splash! KRAAAAABAM! Holly lands right across Alix's back with a FROG SPLASH~!! Eddy however you spell your last name, eat your heart out! Alix feels like a tiny bomb went off inside her back. Both women are on the mat, the frog splash taking more out of Holly-Wood then she expected. She slowly climbs onto Alix and begins to rain down punches on the back of Alix's head! Alix reacts by shooting her elbow backward and hitting Holly in the arm. The strike knocks Holly off and Alix starts to roll towards the ropes.

 

CABOOSE

That frog splash looked huge, but Alix is still kicking!

 

SMOKEY FROM FRIDAY

THAT'S MAH DAWG! THAT'S MAH DAWG!

 

Alix pulls herself up with the aid of the ring ropes. Holly stalks over to Al and smacks her across the face with a cruel back hand! It draws a decent amount of heel heat from the fans. It also leaves a red mark across Alix's cheek. Alix responds by kicking Holly in the knee, temporarily stunning her. The San Jose state alum tries to whip Holly into the ropes, but the Street Fighter dressed wrestler puts her thang down flips it and reverses it! Alix runs the ropes and looks like she's coming right back into a big time clothesline from Holly! But at the last possible moment, Alix latches onto Holly's arm and takes her for a totally wild spin with a tornado divorce (single arm DDT~!) Holly flops onto the mat with the crowd loudly rooting on her former companion! Alix hops over Holly's fallen body and runs the ropes! Arm sore as shit, Holly picks herself up. With vengeance the sole thing on her mind she lowers her head so that Alix will leap frog her! But Alix has other ideas! She runs back and kicks Holly in the shoulder! Holly shoots upright only to see Alix giving her the middle finger! Slightly annoyed, Holly takes a swipe at Alix with a lariat! Holly's arm catches nothing but air! Alix comes up behind Holly and spanks her bare tush, popping the crowd and pissing off Holly. Then gets her with a much more devastating MONA LISA SMILE~!! NO! Holly counters it into a MUTHAFUCKING DIAMOND CUTTER~!! BIG PIMPIN BABY! She crawls on top of Alix for a pin!

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

3!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

BUFFER

The winner of the first fall...Holly-Wood!

 

EHHRRHHHRRRR!

 

COACH

I hate that buzzer!

 

COLE

We're at the twenty minute mark, so its time for a new stipulation. It could be bra and panties, Coach.

 

COACH

I love that buzzer.

 

The boos suddenly stop as the fans once again try to figure out what will be the next gimmick.

The answer comes when a steel cage is lowered from the ceiling. Despite the fact that a steel cage is pretty elementary gimmick, the crowd cheers wildly. What fools. Wrestling fans are stupid. I mean that.

 

BUFFER

And the third gimmick....this match is now special guest referee, two out of three falls...CAGE MATCH!

 

COACH

Mother fucker!

 

BUFFER

This match can be won by pinfall, submission, or escape.

 

Looking as empty as a fueless gas tank, Holly attempts to take the third option. The exact nanosecond that the cage is lowered from the rafters, Holly leaps onto it and begins a long journey to the top. She keeps her eyes focused on the world beyond the steel chamber and she fails to see that Alix is starting to stir. Holly keeps climbing, albeit very slowly like all wrestlers. She presses her head against the caging as she makes her way to the top. Hold up! She feels something tugging on her camouflaged stockings. She turns and around and looks seriously peeved to find that its Alix! Her nostrils flare up like a fire alarm and she begins to seethe uncontrollably. Alix keeps tugging on her leg as if Holly was a little kid at a toy store and Holly was her mom. BAM! Holly angrily shoves her steel toed boot right into Alix's face, knocking her to the mat! Alix goes down but doesn't stay there for more then a few seconds! She goes right over to Holly, grabs her legs and yanks her clear off the cage! Holly GUILLOTINES herself on the ropes! She bounces back like she just got shot out of a cannon and Alix gets her with a MONA LISA SMILE~! The sold out crowd goes ape shit! Alix goes for a pin!

 

CROWD

1

 

 

 

CROWD

2

 

 

 

CROWD

3~!

 

“I'M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!” Alix proudly boasts as her fallen adversary covers her hands with her face.

 

BUFFER

The winner of the second fall.....Alix Spezia!

 

Alix goes right back to work! She picks up Holly and staggers her with a few quick left forearms. With Holly wobbling like a bobblehead and the crowd proudly bleating Alix's name, she runs the ropes and comes back with a graceful cross body block~! CAUGHT! Holly catches Alix and the pig tailed wrestler is stricken with panic! Holly's legs wobble but she's still able to inch backwards. She drops down to her back, throwing Alix over head in the process! The crowd gasps in horror as Alix lands back first into the cage! As her denim clad back connects with cold steel, she grimaces. She falls forward draping herself awkwardly on the ropes. Holly scoops herself up off the mat. Alix is in a very vulnerable position and she plans on taking full advantage of that. She charges forward and plants a yakuza kick right in the side of Alix's head! Alix's head snaps as if it was a ball on a tether and it slams against the wall of the cage creating a disgusting thud! Her entire body frees itself from the ropes and drops to the ring floor. She looks more like a piece of road kill then an actual wrestler. Holly lays into Alix with savage stomps! The fans began to get on Holly's case but it'll be a cold day in hell before she gives a fuck. She bends over and pulls Alix out from under the ropes. She takes a fistful of Alix's hair and yanks to her feet so violently that she pulls out a couple of strands. She takes some delight in knocking Alix's head back and forth with hard right hands. With Alix seemingly in a purple haze, Alix goes behind her rival and gets her into a waistlock. The crowd, apparently equipped with psychic abilities, knows exactly what Holly's planning on doing. They boo her so cruelly and so loudly, that her concentration is actually broken and her grip loosens. It only loosens a tad buts its enough for Alix to force Holly's hands away from her body. Now completely free of Holly's clutches she takes her elbow and crushes it right into the side of Holly's head! Holly's head snaps sideways and her body does the same. Alix jumps onto the ropes then bounces off with a beautiful springboard dropkick! At the last possible moment, Holly gets her hand up to block the move, but that doesn't stop her body from falling to the mat like it got dropped out of a plane! Holly's down and out for the moment and Alix uses this precious time to catch whatever breath she has left. Her face is redder then the planet mars and sweat is starting to soak through her costume. She watches patiently while Holly stands up. When she's fully upright, Alix races at her. Her speed is far slower then normal and Holly wraps around her for a waistlock! Again the crowd showers the female grappler with jeers, but unlike last time she won't make the uncharacteristic move of letting them affect her. She's quick to tighten her grip as Alix makes every effort to free herself. The two struggle, but its Holly who remains firmly in control! She lifts Alix up and tosses her overhead with a german suplex! Alix hits the cage in a collision more brutal then a fifty four car accident! The second her body connects with the cage, she screams as if she had just been shot! She falls forward and Holly catches her body! The audience rips into Holly as she spins Alix around like a rag doll and destroys her with a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Holly shoves Alix off her outstretched knee as if she was some vile, rotten piece of meat. Holly runs her fingers through her hair and coughs gently. Her emotional roller coaster comes crashing to a halt as a cheerless mood settles over her like a morning fog. Her look is devoid of any feeling or emotion, rather it appears as if she's never felt those words before.

 

CABOOSE

Holly making great use of that steel cage! Use it like a weapon! That's what I always say.

 

COLE

A cage match doesn't mean you have carte blanche to destroy your opponent.

 

Alix is on her feet, crouching she appears ready for anything. And Holly's going to hit her everything. Holly flies into Alix with a kitchen sink of offensive attacks, mixing in side kicks with jabs and throwing a few forearms and straight punches! Holly looks like some kind of demented kickboxer as she proceeds to unload on Alix. Each blow is a strike in revenge for the ruining of the Saints and her emotionally injured brother. Alix blocks one of Holly's kicks and shoves her backwards. This halts Holly only temporarily, which if nothing else, buys Alix some time to attack. Alix then charges forward, using her entire body as a battering ram she blasts Holly with a dropsault! BUT Holly catches Alix's legs and sends her down to the mat with a spine buster! Throbs of pain shoot through her back as Holly lets go of her. Alix is having a terrible time on the mat, nearly choking on her own spit as she fights to regain control of her body. Holly gets to her feet and looks at the steel cage. Her eyes go up and down it, and she realizes that its a lot bigger in person then it is on TV. She turns back to a battered and beaten Alix and stares at her with a weak detachment. Her focus returns to the cage. She steps onto the ropes and transfers her feet to the cage. Her climbing is slow, not for dramatic effect, but rather because she can't bring herself to climb faster. That last offensive flurry must've sapped what energy she had left. Scaling the cage becomes a feat comparable to climbing mount Everest when you're bound to a wheelchair. The muscles in her legs strain and tighten and start to feel as if they're encased in cement.

 

“Fuck it.” She mutters in defeat.

 

Holly drops back to the mat, meaning this match will go on a little longer. She pries Alix off the canvas and nails her in the gut with two quick knee shots. Holly sports a “no body's home” look as she gets Alix into an underhook. She tries to lift her up for an underhook back breaker but Alix wildly whips against her hold like a mugging victim trying to free herself from her attacker. Alix does break free of the underhook. Stunned, Holly reels backwards. Alix whips her, but instead of sending her to the ropes, Alix pulls Holly back towards her and floors her with a divorce (singe arm ddt)! Holly got her hand up to block her face from hitting the mat, but that didn't do much to prevent her arm from hurting like it got ran over by a tractor. Alix attempts to get Holly into an armbar but Holly protects her arm as if it was made out of 14 karat gold. Giving up all hope of scoring with the submission, Alix just lays on top of Holly for a pin!

 

CROWD

1

 

 

 

CROWD

2

 

 

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

Just in case we didn't catch the hint, Logan holds up two fingers to show the count Alix got.

 

“THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” chant the moronic fans who can't seem to count properly.

 

COLE

My stars and garters, how did she kick out? How?

 

Alix rolls off Holly, looking like she's about to explode. Neither woman could've have imagined that this gimmicky midcard match would turn out to be akin to a walk through the darkest level of hell. Alix's once beautiful facial features become wrought with worry, her made for the movies looks now littered with agony and worry After a few seconds of rest, Holly is amazingly the first to move. She stands up with legs as weak as spaghetti. Alix meets her with a kick so feeble it might as well have come from an 80 year old man. Holly catches her foot without much trouble. Alix sends her other foot at Holly with an enziguri! Alix's leg looks like its traveling through mud and Holly has no problem ducking the slow flying limb. She grabs a hold of the grounded enziguring leg and has Alix in a wheelbarrow set up! The crowd sits on the edge of their seat loudly railing off Alix's name. Drawing on their strength she makes a valiant effort to escape Holly's suplex attempt. The fight, while admirable, ultimately does more harm then good as it takes a massive amount of energy out of Alix. She's helpless to prevent Holly from tossing her back into the cage with a wheelbarrow suplex! Holly nearly puts Alix through the cage and entire structure shakes with never before seen violence. Alix slumps to the mat, her eyes now shut as if she was taking a nap.

 

COLE

There's only so many times you can toss someone into a cage! This is enough! This match has gone on too long, damn it!

 

Holly's neck muscles emerge, defined lines erupt on her forehead and the sweat travels a delicate path around them. Her eyes involuntarily shift from side to side, betraying her ice cold demeanor She grabs Alix and pulls her form under the ropes. She wraps her arms around her waist then lifts her up for a Canadian backbreaker. In a move that wreaks of pure desperation Alix counters by clawing Holly in the face! Alix's nails open up a small cut on Holly's cheek and she's left with no choice but to drop her. Alix takes a few moments to recuperate, then grabs Holly into a front face lock. She spins her rival around 180 degrees and sets her on top of the turnbuckle. Alix uses the ropes for support as her body is saturated with pain. Her misery is steady, like the sun shining on a sweet spring day. With as much speed as paraplegic turtle, Alix climbs onto the top turnbuckle. Once there she's met with a weak gut shot from Holly. Although the punch was weak, Alix has been so brutalized that it nearly knocks her off the turnbuckle. Veins pop up all across Alix's body, her tanned complexion reddens with each passing second. Her body sagging dejectedly, Holly continues to slug at Alix. Every new punch is decreasing in strength. Alix finally does what she climbed to top for and leaps onto Holly's shoulders! She starts to pull her off the top with a hurricanrana but Holly counters it into a HOLLYWOOD GROOVE! The fans burst out with a noise unlike any other! Both wrestlers drop to the mat, the outcome of the match now riding on the line! The previous thirty odd minutes mean nothing and it all comes down to the next few seconds. Encouragements of “DON'T TAP OUT” pour from every last corner of the arena! Alix's right leg starts to slip away from Holly, but she quickly clings to it like tape to paper. Alix lays face down on the canvas, sweat causing her clothes to stick to her body, nearly merging with her skin. She makes a crawl to the ropes but at the rate she's going, the Maple Leafs will win the Stanley Cup before she ever gets there. Unlike most wrestlers, who glare and growl like moronic barbarians when they have a submission hold applied, Holly, with her stockings nearly torn to shreds, maintains her frigid demeanor. Its almost as if Alix is being maimed by Data from Star Trek. Holly hair drapes wildly in front of her eyes, preventing anyone from peeking into the windows of what little soul resides in her body.

 

“DON'T TAP OUT! DON'T TAP OUT!” Urge the now standing fans

 

Alix has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, but she'll stay in the Hollywood Groove until the end of time if she ha....

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“Let's Go” returns to the arena!

 

COLE

Huh?

 

Apparently Logan has called for the bell despite the fact that Alix never tapped out! If Logan was Lucy from I Love Lucy, he'd have some explaining some to do! It takes a few moments for the confused audience to figure out what's going on. When they do, they pelt Logan Mann with a barrage of jeers, taunts, boos and so many vulgarities, you'd think he took a crap in their swimming pool! Logan takes Holly's hand in his and raises her arm in victory! Holly slyly tilts her right eye brow up and shows off a tiny smile. She feels like fainting, but Logan's hand is the one thing keeping her up.

 

BUFFER

Your winner of the first ever Trick or Treat match brought to you by the OAOAST and Cosmo Girl....HOLLY-WOOOOOOOODD!

 

The announcement is met with renewed viscousness from the capacity crowd. They try to pelt the squared circle with debris but not a single one of them can clear the prison like cage. Their inability to reach Logan and Holly with their physical manifestations of anger only make them grow louder with vile energy!

 

(We get a backstage shot of Synth Eszier jumping up and down like he just won the lottery! He's hugging and kissing random wrestlers and staff, while wearing an ear to ear smile.)

 

CABOOSE

Hahahahahah! I saw that coming a mile away, I tells ya! If you didn't you are stupid! Hhahahha! For a germaphobe, Holly did pretty well! When you've got a lot on the line, she comes through!

 

COLE

Devil's night may be over but Logan Mann has sold his soul to the man himself.

 

COACH

Or woman in this case. But take a look at the buns on her, where do I sign up to get rid of my soul! HOLLA ATCHA BOI~!

 

CABOOSE

Coach is right to make light of this situation. When Logan was announced as guest referee, Alix should've just thrown in the towel. Now with Chicks Over Dicks out the way, the Saints can focus on tag team gold. They hold a victory over GPX and now that those asshats have finished off the Midnights, the Saints will be knocking on their door and we have Holly-Wood to thank for it.

 

(FADE OUT)

(We open up to a club~! Sitting at the bar at said club is a guy with heavily gelled black hair who’s wearing a Von Dutch T-shirt and truckers hat. Next to him is dude with long blonde hair with black high lights who’s sportin the latest from Five Crown. In the back ground we can hear “Simply being loved” by BT is being spun by the DJ. Blue and purple lights flicker across the establishment as young singles get down to the pulsating beat.)

 

OC(guy with black hair)

Direct quote, “The OAOAST tag team scene has an embarrassment of riches.”

 

CHRISTIAN AGUILERA (blondie)

Psh. More like an embarrassment of embarrassments.

 

(They laugh)

 

OC

Got that right. This so called scene reminds me a lot of Elvis. Overrated and dead.

 

AGUILERA

It’s so lame, its sad. I feel bad for them. I can’t even stand watching them. It makes my mind hurt, like my mind is bleeding. It fucking sucks.

 

OC

Take it easy, dude. I feel your pain. When one of your top teams is a rip off of a team most of your viewers are to young to remember and your champions are a group posers who have less street cred then Scott Baio, you got issues.

 

AGUILERA

It’s like they have aids. Like they’re sick or something.

 

OC

When you’re sick you need a cure. And that cure is us. The In Crowd Remix. The remix that had to happen.

 

(FADE OUT)

Edited by Patty O'Green

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CUE: "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach

 

COLE

Faaaaans, here we go!

 

COACH

Straight Ballin' YO!!

 

CABOOSE

...I have stupid in stereo...jesus christ...

 

-The fans boos are so loud, that (thankfully) Michael Cole is drowned out completely! The curtain opens slightly, revealing CANDIE!~, wearing nothing but a schoolgirl outfit.

 

CABOOSE

Oh, I love Candie's costume...

 

COACH

TRICK O' TREAT, BITCHES!!!

 

CABOOSE

Boy, are you retarded?

 

COLE

He's been playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for the past five days, non-stop...

 

CABOOSE

Oh...so he's delirious from sleep, quoting the game, AND retarded. Gotcha.

 

COLE

I'm worried, he hasn't come to bed in fiv...I mean...shiiiiiiit, son, I mean he doesn't come to my bed and drag the bitches I'm done with out to the hallway...y-ya heard?

 

CABOOSE

...I hate you...I really do...

 

-Following close behind Candie, is the Franchise...Zack Malibu. He is flanked by members of the local SWAT Team. Zack slowly takes in the boos, smiling a "Fuck You" smile to the crowd as he, Candie, and the SWAT Team members walk down to the ring.

 

COLE

Bill Watts, in order to keep the participants of this match from killing each other before the bell sounds, has hired members of the local SWAT Team to escort them to the ring...Geez, if even Watts think these guys need added security...

 

COACH

Balla's git PUNKD!!

 

CABOOSE

Mike, I don't think I can take this much longer...

 

-Zack, Candie, and the SWAT Team members slowly enter the ring, as the lights dim. The music fades out as the arena is engulfed in darkness.

 

 

 

 

"OW AH-HA-HA-HA!!"

 

CUE: "Down With the Sickness" by Disturbed

 

-The boos of the fans turn to irresponsibly loud cheers! The curtain once again opens, and out powerwalks the HI-YAH World Champion, AXEL!!!

 

COLE

Little known fact, Axel won the HI-YAH Title as the masked Kuro Mikoto...he's a household name in Japan, fans.

 

-Axel, not even paying attention to his SWAT Team Members, throws the title belt into the ring and slides in, making a bee-line for Zack. Before he can even make it to the middle of the ring, Zack's SWAT members block his way, pushing the Dark Prince back with their Riot Shields. Axel, once again, doesn't even pay attention to the SWAT's as he just glares at Zack. The music fades out, and Axel quickly turns his attention to the entryway, an blood-thirsty look overcoming his face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"1 2 3 4!!!"

 

CUE: "Nowhere" by The Stitches

 

-The boos, once again, turn irresponsibly loud, as the curtain flies open. The first person to walk out is JASMINE!~, who is dressed up like a secretary, complete with coke rim glasses and tiny, tiny, tiny skirt.

 

COLE

That's either a really big belt or an awfully small skirt.

 

CABOOSE

There's nothing awful about it!

 

-Immediately following behind Jasmine are the two SWAT's, who are then followed by Austin "Ragdoll" Baker, who has a mic gripped tightly in his right hand.

 

RAGDOLL

"WHOA! CUT THE MUSIC! NOW!"

 

-The music stops as Ragdoll continues his stride down to the ring, taking in the boos and flipping off the crowd. He slowly climbs into the ring, and is pushed back by one of Zack's SWAT's. Ragdoll glares at the anxious young cop and raises the mic again.

 

RAGDOLL

"Touch me again, and every fucking member of your family will be dead, you hear me?!"

 

-The SWAT member backs off slightly as Ragdoll turns his attention to Axel.

 

RAGDOLL

"Look, asshole...I tried six times to get this match turned into a No Holds Barred Match, and each time I failed. So either you're being a little cunt, or I'm missing something."

 

-The fans "ooooooooo" as Axel grabs a mic from MICHEAL BUFFER!~! He glares at Ragdoll as he speaks.

 

AXEL

"You're missing something...a No Holds Barred match goes entirely against what this belt represents, so I will not take pa...

 

RAGDOLL (interrupting)

"Oh, FUCK YOU, you little Bitch! 'A No Holds Barred match goes against everything this belt represents...waaah waaaah waaaah.' Shut the fuck up and listen. Either you make this match a No Holds Barred match, or I walk out...and I KNOW you won't let that happen...you want to kick my ass too bad."

 

-The fans cheer as Ragdoll and Axel get within a foot of each other before the SWAT members break them up. Their locked eyes never stray from one another.

 

MALIBU

"Hold on...Since when was this match JUST about you two?"

 

-Ragdoll finally breaks his gaze and stares angrily at Zack.

 

RAGDOLL

"Since when did people start giving a shit about you again?"

 

MALIBU

"Look, Junkie..."

 

RAGDOLL

"What, Prick?! What're you going to say?! Is it a clever remark about my drug problem?! What is it? Fucking say it!"

 

-Malibu is obviously taken aback by the words, and Ragdoll is quick to take advantage.

 

RAGDOLL

"Yeah, you can't...you know why, Zack? Because you're nothing but fuckin' talk! All you ever do is run your mouth, and when someone calls you on it, you choke...I mean for fucks sake, you lost your title to a FUCKIN GIRL! What kind of a man are you?! You know what your problem is? You're pissed off for no fucking reason...'Oh, I'm a Pissed Off Prep,' No! You're a Pissed Off PRICK! FUCK YOU, ZACK! NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU ANYMORE, AND NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR FUCKING INPUT!!"

 

-The fans slowly rise to their feet and applaud Ragdoll's blunt words. Zack leans in his corner, a look of "What just happened" plastered on his face. Ragdoll slowly turns to Axel.

 

RAGDOLL

"So...what'll it be? Axel vs. Washed Up Prick in a straight match or Axel vs. Washed Up Prick vs. Austin "Ragdoll" Baker in a No Holds Barred match for the HI-YAH World Title?

 

-The fans start chanting "NO HOLDS BARRED!!" as Axel stares at Ragdoll. A few moments pass before Axel slowly raises the mic to his mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AXEL

"...............I accept."

 

-The fans cheer as Ragdoll grins evilly.

 

RAGDOLL

"Do your job, Buffer."

 

-The cheers are fucking IN-SANE! The fans start to stomp their feet savagely as they cheer.

 

BUFFER

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! The next match...is scheduled for ONE FALL...and is...a NO...HOLDS....BARRED TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!"

 

-No need to say how loud it is...it's that loud.

 

BUFFER

"Introducing first...the CHAMPION....from Tasmania, Australia...weighing in at 235 Pounds....he is the HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...THE DARK ONE....AAAAAAAAAAXELLLLLLL!!!!"

 

-The pop is asaninely loud, and some Japanese fans in the front row throw black and grey streamers into the ring.

 

BUFFER

"And his opponent...first...from Los Angeles, California...weighing in...at 195 pounds...he is the former...Two Time OAOAST WORLD...HEAVYWEIGHT...CHAMPION....THE FRANCHISE.....ZAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAL-I-BUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"

 

-The fans boo and chant "YOU'RE WASHED UP!" as Zack glares at Ragdoll.

 

BUFFER

"And finally...the second opponent...from Las Vegas, Nevada...weighing in...at One Hundred...and Sixty Five Pounds...he is a former...OAOAST X Champion...The LIVING LEGEND...the ICON!! HE IS....AUSTIN....RAAAAAAAAAAAGDOLLLLL.....BAAAAAAAAAAAAKEERRRRRRRR!!!"

 

-Although he berated the hated, the fans boos still fill the arena for the Sin City Madman. He smiles wide as he lights up a cigarette and blows the smoke into the facemask of one of his SWAT members. The SWAT shakes his head as he, and the rest of the security, vacate the ring. Buffer does so, Candie does so, Jasmine does so...it's just Zack, Axel, and Ragdoll...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DING DING DING!!!

 

 

COLE

HERE WE GO!!!

 

Ragdoll immediately flips off Zack Malibu, and then Axel, who he gives the double bird to!

 

COLE

Well, Rags isn’t here to make any friends, he’s here to win the HI-YAH World Title!

 

Axel and Ragdoll charge at each other, going blow-for-blow, right hand for right hand! Axel gets the advantage and sends Ragdoll into the ropes for an Irish Whip. Rags comes off the ropes, and Axel floors him with a hard clothesline! Axel grabs Ragdoll by the hair and starts to pull him up, but Ragdoll connects with a thumb to the eyes! Right hand by Ragdoll to the temple of Axel, Axel fires back, Rags with another right, Axel fires back again, Ragdoll lands a kick to the midsection, Irish Whips Axel, Axel reverses, Rags comes off the ropes, Axel with a leapfrog, Rags comes off of the other side, Axel ducks under, Rags comes off a third time, Axel charges him, and both connect with a clothesline, knocking both men down!

 

COLE

What an exchange there!

 

Meanwhile, Zack Malibu is in the corner, watching his two opponents ripping each other apart! Axel and Ragdoll slowly get up, not noticing their other foe. They exchange right hands again, Ragdoll hits Axel with a hard chop, followed by another, the crowd ‘Wooing’ along with each one! Ragdoll pushes Axel back to the ropes, steps back to the middle of the ring, and takes both he and Axel over the top rope with a Cactus Jack Clothesline!

 

COACH

Uh-oh, both guys are on the outside! Who knows what they will find out there!

 

COLE

They’re right in front of us!

 

CABOOSE

Magnificent strategy by Zack Malibu though I must say, just let these guys beat the holy hell out of each other, and pin the more beaten up one! Great stuff!

 

Ragdoll is the first to get up on the outside, and upon seeing Axel trying to get to his feet, kicks him right in the face, sending him straight back down! Rags pushes the timekeeper out of the way and grabs his chair. He folds the steel sitting device and measures his former friend. Axel gets to his feet, using the steel ring post for support. Rags takes the chair back, and swings wildly at Axel… but he ducks!

 

COLE

My god! That would have sandwiched Axels head in between the ring post and the chair! That could have been career-ending!

 

Ragdoll lifts the chair high above his head and charges at Axel, who connects with a desperation blow to the stomach! Ragdoll staggers backward, clutching his stomach, and dropping the steel chair. Axel picks up the chair, swings, and connects with a hard shot to the head of Ragdoll, compressing his spine!

 

CABOOSE

That’ll come back to haunt you.

 

COACH

Axel with a vile chair shot! Ragdoll is down, and he could be out!

 

Axel throws the chair away and grabs his opponent by the hair, picking him up. Ragdoll, obviously on Dream Street after that shot, has a glazed look in his eyes, as Axe rolls him back into the ring. Axel goes up to the top rope, and waits for his adversary to get to his feet! Ragdoll staggers to his vertical base, and Axel flies off of the top rope, looking for a clothesline… but Ragdoll buries a right hand into Axel’s stomach, sending him flipping over and onto his back! Ragdoll collapses, feeling the effects of that chair shot!

 

COLE

These men have really built up a hatred of each other; they will do anything to injure each other!

 

Zack Malibu continues to stand in the corner and let both of his opponents go at it! Slowly, Axel and Ragdoll get to their feet, and look at each other, and then at Zack, who is clapping!

 

CABOOSE

Aw, he appreciates their little show!

 

Axel and Ragdoll continue to look at Zack, who is still clapping, and putting his thumbs up, telling them they are doing a really good job. Axel and Rags look at each other, nod, and then charge at Zack, laying right hands into the former OAOAST Champ in the corner! They send Zack for a double Irish Whip into the opposite corner; Zack rebounds off of the ropes, Rags charges, and hits a running enziguri!

 

COLE

Deceptacon by Ragdoll on Zack Malibu!

 

Axel goes up top, and launches toward Zack, connecting with an elbow to the sternum!

 

CABOOSE

Not fair!

 

COLE

He deserves it!

 

Axel gets up and looks down at Zack, but Ragdoll straight away charges and hits him with a right hand! Rags hooks Axel up with a front face lock, and takes him over in a Snap Suplex!

 

COLE

So much for that alliance!

 

Zack then rushes over to Ragdoll from behind, and takes him over with a German Suplex!

 

CABOOSE

Beautiful German Suplex from Zack, he’s in control!

 

Zack turns around to face the crowd, but Axel is right there! Boot to the stomach by Axel, and he hits an Evenflow DDT! Axel with a cover on Zack Malibu!

 

COLE

Cover by Axel! He might have the win!

 

 

 

ONE…

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

NO! Ragdoll breaks up the pin with a boot to the back of the head! Rags lifts Axel to his feet, grabs him by the hair, and launches him over the top rope, to the floor! Rags turns around to face Zack, who is now to his feet as well! The two men meet in the middle of the ring and begin the trash talking, neither man backing down from the challenge!

 

COLE

These two have a very long and storeyed past; they met at Ragdoll’s last Pay Per View appearance, back in February at Zero Hour!

 

Zack smirks at one of Ragdoll’s comments, and steps back, taking the defensive. He then brings his hand forward and slaps the taste out of Ragdoll’s mouth!

 

COACH

Wow!

 

Ragdoll steps backwards himself and holds the side of his face, before developing a smirk of his own! Ragdoll then lands a hard, stiff blow to the side of Zacks face! Zack comes back with a stiff kick to the quad of Ragdoll! Ragdoll fries another stiff blow, and Ragdoll fires another stiff kick! Zack then lands a third kick, this time to the ribs, which has Rags reeling! Zack steps back, and knocks Ragdoll off of his feet with a Yakuza Kick!

 

CABOOSE

Stiff shots by both men, and Zack takes the advantage!

 

Axel rolls back into the ring, and instantaneously connects with a chop to the chest of Zack! Zack steps back, clutching at his chest, and Axel connects with another hard chop! And a third chop! Axel sends Zack Malibu for an Irish Whip, Zack reverses; Axel comes off of the ropes, and hits a Harlem Side Kick on Zack! Axel comes off of the ropes, and delivers a leg drop to the fallen Malibu!

 

CABOOSE

He can’t beat Zack Malibu! No!

 

Axel gets up again and comes off of the ropes, but Ragdoll stops him, landing another stiff shot! Rags grabs Axel’s head and takes him over to the corner, before driving it into the turnbuckle pad. Ragdoll runs to the ropes as Axel staggers out to the centre of the ring, Rags comes off and hits Deceptacon again, this time on The Dark One! Ragdoll goes for a cover, hooking the outside leg!

 

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

 

NO! Zack Malibu this time breaks up the count!

 

COACH

It’s hard to determine who is in control here, because everyone has their moments!

 

Zack grabs Ragdoll again and hooks him up in a front face lock, and takes him over for a beautiful vertical suplex! Zack then picks up Axel and tries another suplex, but Axel blocks it!

 

COLE

Zack having a hard time getting Axel over for this suplex.

 

Zack tries once again, but Axel blocks a second time! Axel hits Zack with three knees to the stomach, which makes The Franchise break the hold.

 

COACH

Well, didn’t get it done that time.

 

Axel and Zack swap right hands, Zack tries a clothesline, and Axel ducks under. Axel picks Zack up for a Death Valley Driver…

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! Counter it Zack!

 

Axel turns around, preparing to drop Zack with a Death Valley Driver…

 

 

…but WHAM! Ragdoll connects with Red Label to the jaw of Axel!

 

COLE

What a super kick by Ragdoll!

 

As Axel is falling backwards, Zack counters into a crucifix, pinning The Dark One!

 

 

 

ONE…

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….

 

 

NO! Ragdoll lands a front dropkick to his two opponents, pushing Axel off of his shoulders and Zack out of the crucifix!

 

COLE

ANOTHER close one! This match should not be viewed by those with heart problems!

 

As Axel recovers, Malibu gets up, but Ragdoll approaches from behind, taking Zack by the hair and leading him to the corner. Ragdoll sets Zack up in the corner and backs up, giving himself enough space to charge in and drive a knee into Zack's ribs! Malibu collapses, but Ragdoll picks him up, and drives a pair of back elbows into the side of the prep's face! Baker takes Malibu by the arm, sending him across the ring and watching as Zack crashes into the far corner! Ragdoll sets him up and charges in, but Malibu get a foot up to knock Ragdoll away...and into the waiting arms of Axel, who tosses him with an overhead belly to belly suplex!

 

COACH

Ragdoll has just joined the Mile High Club!

 

CABOOSE

Do you even know what that means?

 

Axel stalks his friend-turned-enemy, but Ragdoll feigns recovery, and instead slides backwards out of the ring! Baker falls to the floor, putting his hands up and telling Axel he can't take anymore right now. Axel goes to exit the ring and give chase, but Malibu runs over and kicks the middle rope as Axel is climbing through, allowing the rope to strike him low! The Dark One reels from the move, and Zack pulls him back into the ring, delivering an inverted atomic drop before running the ropes and spinning a full 360 degrees, rocking Axel with a Roaring Elbow! With Axel down, Zack runs the ropes again...but this time Ragdoll hops up on the apron and yanks the top rope down, causing the OAOAST's so called Savior to take a spill out to the floor!

 

CABOOSE

This match has been like Coachman's mom...all over the place!

 

COACH

Y...HEY!

 

Zack tries to get up, but Ragdoll puts a quick end to that by planting his foot in Zack's ribs, knocking him back over. Baker takes a moment to celebrate, raising his arms up to the crowd...and then finds himself sprawling across the Sofa Central commentary table, courtesy of an Axel baseball slide!

 

COLE

His head nearly wound up in my lap!

 

CABOOSE

Oh you would have LOVED that, wouldn't you Cole?

 

The fans roar as Axel exits the ring, heading for Ragdoll. Zack gets up, but Axel simply turns and clocks him with a right hand, sending Zack stumbling backwards! Axel drags Ragdoll off the commentary table, sending formats, monitors, and other assorted junk flying everywhere! Axel pulls back Ragdoll's head, looking out to the crowd for their approval before he slams it into the table~!

 

CABOOSE

Hey! You can't do that!

 

COLE

It's no holds barred!

 

CABOOSE

But that's not a hold! That's a hit! Hits should be barred!

 

COLE

...you're REALLY stretching to back up your bias these days.

 

Ragdoll is dazed and confused, as Axel pries him away from the table, then spins around and hurls him towards the ringpost, causing the former X Champion to collide with the steel headfirst! Ragdoll falls to his knees! He runs his hand up over his forehead, checking for blood, which is in fact starting to drip. Jasmine rushes over to check on him, but Axel is right there, scaring her enough to back away as he picks Ragdoll up over his shoulder and charges the ringpost, ramming Ragdoll's back into the steel!

 

Zack Malibu, meanwhile, FINALLY rolls back into the ring, after taking all the time he needed to recover. He walks across the ring, over to the side where Axel and Ragdoll stay on the floor. He calls to Axel to roll Ragdoll in, which takes The Dark One by surprise. Malibu insists, and Axel does roll Ragdoll in, but follows suit, not wanting to allow Zack to steal a victory from him. Malibu tells Axel to pick Ragdoll up, and together they Irish whip him into the ropes, catching him on the rebound and sending him up in the air, and bringing him down across both of their knees with a double gutbuster! Ragdoll kicks and screams after the impact of the move shatters his ribcage, and once the move connects, Zacks turns on Axel, kicking him low and then backing up, connecting with SCHOOL'S OUT...NO!

 

Axel catches Zack's foot, and spins him around, quickly grabbing the waist and hurling him up into the air, dropping Zack on the back of his neck with a release German Suplex!

 

COLE

Can you say "neckbrace"!?

 

As Axel turns for Zack, he's cut off by Ragdoll, who shoots for his legs and pulls him to the mat! Ragdoll sits atop Axel's shoulders, hammering him with wild punches before getting up to his feet, welcoming Axel up! Axel rushes Ragdoll, pushing him back into the ropes, but Ragdoll hammers on Axel's back, breaking his grip, then pulls him up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker! Ragdoll staggers back, waiting on Axel to get up...and while The Dark One is hunched over, pushing up off the mat, Ragdoll charges in and leaps up, bringing his knee into the air and jarring Axel with a DEVIL DOLL~! The Dark One falls, but only to one knee, as he shows amazing resilience...AND THEN GETS BLASTED WITH A ZACK ATTACK~!

 

COLE

Two...TWO SHINING WIZARD VARIATIONS!

 

Ragdoll looks on in disbelief, and quickly covers Axel as Zack recovers, but only get the count of one before Malibu pulls him off!

 

COLE

This is absolutely amazing! All three men are taking this to extremes, the hatred is abounding!

 

Zack lands a right hand to the face of Ragdoll, and Ragdoll comes back with one of his own. Zack hits a loud knife edged chop, which the crowd greet with their usual ‘WOO!’ Boot to the midsection by Ragdoll, Irish Whip, Zack comes off of the ropes, Ragdoll tries a clothesline, Zack ducks under, and hits a ROARING ELBOW!

 

COLE

THE ROARING ELBOW! COVER!

 

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO………

 

 

 

 

THR-NOOOOOOOOO! Axel breaks up the count with a double axe handle to the back of Zacks head!

 

COACH

Man, how close was that?

 

CABOOSE

Come on Zack! Get Axel!

 

Zack and Axel both get up and face each other, to a pop from the crowd. They face off, inviting each other to strike the first blow. Zack seems hesitant, and Axel sees this, advancing on Zack, continuing to talk trash to The Franchise. Zack goes for a right hand, but Axel blocks it, and hits one of his own! Zack goes for another right hand, but again no luck, as Axel blocks it and hits another stiff shot to the forehead! Zack tries again, hoping for third time lucky, but no, Axel blocks it again, and hits a third right hand. Irish Whip by Axel, Zack reverses, Axel comes off of the ropes; Zack tries SCHOOL’S OUT – NO! Axel ducks under! Axel comes off of the other side; Zack stops him in his tracks with a boot to the stomach! Zack sets Axel up for a POP Drop, but Axel punches Zack in the stomach, causing him to stagger backward! Axel picks Zack up over his shoulder, setting up for Dark Royalty… but Zack slips down his back, and locks in the California Dream!

 

COLE

The Dragon Sleeper is locked in! Axel beat Zack with that very move at HeldDown: Australia!

 

Zack keeps the standing Dragon Sleeper Locked in, but decides to go for an inverted suplex instead! Zack tries the inverted suplex, and rotates Axel over, but Axel lands on Zacks shoulder, and uses the momentum to take himself over, putting Zack in a Tombstone position! Axel steadies… DARK ROYALTY!

 

COLE

DARK ROAYLTY! ITS OVER!

 

COACH

Zack is out of it!

 

CABOOSE

NO!

 

 

 

 

ONE….

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Ragdoll JUST breaks up the count!

 

 

COACH

My goodness I thought that was over!

 

CABOOSE

My goodness? This is Pay Per View, dammit! Try again!

 

COACH

Ok, ok… Motherfucker! I thought that shit was done!

 

CABOOSE

Better.

 

COLE

The tide just keeps changing in this one!

 

Ragdoll grabs Axel by the hair, and prepares to propel him out of the ring. Ragdoll charges, but Axel lands an elbow to the gut! Axel grabs Ragdoll by the hair and propels HIM out of the ring to the floor below! Axel drops to the canvas and rolls out of the ring after his former friend. The Dark One starts to force Rags to his feet again… but Ragdoll connects with a low blow! Ragdoll grabs the steel chair that was acquainted with his face earlier, and measures Axel! Axel turns around… and BAM! Ragdoll floors the HI-YAH Champ with a vile chair shot!

 

COLE

Man, did you hear that? My god!

 

COACH

Axel just got his brains splattered all over that chair!

 

Ragdoll throws the chair down and rolls Axel back into the ring! Cover by Ragdoll on Axel…

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! Zack breaks up the count!

 

 

COLE

I thought he was unconscious!

 

Zack and Ragdoll both get up, Rags making it to his feet first. Rags with a shot to Zack, Zack with a shot to Ragdoll, and both men see Axel getting to his feet! They look at each other and nod, as Axel gets to a vertical base. Zack and Ragdoll with a double boot to the midsection, and they hook Axel up for a vertical suplex!

 

COLE

A bit of teamwork from Zack and Ragdoll, could this be an alliance?

 

Zack and Rags try to lift Axel up for the double suplex, but Axel blocks it! Axel buries a right hand into Zacks stomach, and he staggers back! Axel hooks Ragdoll in a front face lock, and Zack in the same position on the other arm!

 

COACH

What’s this?

 

Axel hooks both Zack and Rags up… DOUBLE EVENFLOW!

 

CABOOSE

No! He can’t do that!

 

COACH

Axel is covering both men!

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! A pair of kickouts!

 

COLE

Axel was a half a second away from getting a pin on both men there!

 

COACH

All three men are down!

 

The fans show their appreciation for the three athletes, no matter how much they despise and hate two of them. They all begin to get to their feet! Zack connects with a right hand to Axel, who staggers over to Ragdoll! Ragdoll tries a right hand, but Axel blocks it and hits one of his own! Ragdoll staggers over to Zack, who tries a right hand, but Ragdoll blocks it, and connects with a hard chop! Zack comes back with a chop! Ragdoll with a chop! Zack with a chop! Both Ragdoll and Zack turn to face Axel, who charges, and tries a double clothesline… NO! He only gets Rags who rolls to the outside, Zack ducks out of it! Zack goes behind Axel… TRENDSETTER!

 

CABOOSE

YES! Go Zack!

 

Malibu looks down at Axel, who is showing signs of life on the canvas, and smirks as he goes to the corner. He smirks at the crowd - who give him their usual reception of boos and jeers – and screams “SCHOOL’S OUT BAYBAY!”

 

COLE

Zack is signalling for the end here!

 

Zack measures Axel, who is staggering to his feet. The Franchise winds up his super kick, and starts to charge, but Ragdoll has a hold of his other leg! Zack shakes his leg free and kicks Ragdoll right in the face! He then turns around and goes for School’s out on Axel… But Axel ducks under! Zack turns around… SPINEBUSTAH~! Axel gets a rush of adrenaline! He DARES Ragdoll to come into the ring and face him!

 

COLE

Axel is all fired up here!

 

Ragdoll charges into the ring and toward Axel... Axel blocks a right hand, and hits one! Two! Three! Four! Ragdoll tries a clothesline, Axel ducks under! Axel sets Ragdoll up in a standing bodyscissors… SITOUT POWERBOMB! Axel rolls out of the cover, and strikes the crucifix pose to the crowd!

 

COLE

Bad move by Axel, he could have had the win there!

 

Axel looks at the crowd and points to Ragdoll, and signals for the end! Axel turns around…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… SCHOOL’S OUT! OUT OF NOWHERE BY ZACK MALIBU!

 

 

CABOOSE

Third Time Lucky! YES!

 

 

COLE

Zack got the School’s Out! We could have a new Champion here!

 

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RAGDOLL BREAKS UP THE COUNT!

 

COACH

I can’t believe this! All three men have had the match won multiple times! This is amazing!

 

Zack gets to his knees, obviously exhausted… but gets floored back down to the mat with the DEVIL DOLL by Ragdoll! Cover!

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! Axel breaks up the count once again!

 

 

CABOOSE

So many near falls!

 

COACH

Such little time!

 

COLE

That didn’t even make sense.

 

Ragdoll and Axel both get to their feet, with Zack down on the mat from the Devil Doll. More right hands are exchanged by the two men, and Axel gets the advantage, forcing Ragdoll back into the corner! STIFF uppercut by Axel on Ragdoll, that sends the former X Champion down in the corner! Axel goes over to Zack Malibu, and picks him up by the hair, taunting him, telling him that this is payback for all that he has done! Meanwhile Ragdoll has pulled out something from his pocket!

 

CABOOSE

Someone get Axel off of him! Candie, get in there!

 

COLE

This is payback for Axel! This is payback for the casket incident, for Crystal, for AJ, for Gunner, and most of all, for himself!

 

Axel picks Zack up in a Reverse Death Valley position and smiles to the crowd!

 

AXEL

TAKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

 

Axel rotates Zack over…

 

 

 

 

 

…and DROPS HIM in an AXEL SLAM!

 

 

 

 

COLE

YES! YES! AXEL SLAM!

 

Axel stands up and looks at the fallen Malibu, He turns to cover his adversary...

 

 

 

 

…but RAGDOLL blows a FIREBALL into his face!

 

 

COACH

OH MY GOD!

 

COLE

NO! Ragdoll with another fireball!

 

Axel rolls around on the mat, holding his face! Ragdoll strolls over to Zack, and covers him!

 

COLE

Not like this!

 

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

COLE

NO! GOD NO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

 

CUE: "Nowhere" by The Stitches

 

Ragdoll holds his arms up in victory, as the referee grabs the HI-YAH Title! Michael Buffer makes the announcement to the crowd, amid hysteria!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner… and NEEEEEEWWWWW HI-YAH WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGDOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

 

COLE

Dammit no! Ragdoll stole this one from Axel! Ragdoll stole the victory!

 

COACH

And what’s more, Axel may be in need of some serious medical attention here! That fireball may have damaged his face, he may have first or second degree burns!

 

Axel is still rolling around on the mat in severe agony, as the EMT’s emerge from the backstage area with a stretcher. Axel is rolled onto the stretcher, and quickly escorted out of the arena! Meanwhile, Ragdoll snatches the HI-YAH title belt off of the referee and holds it high in the air, with Jasmine joining him in the ring!

 

COLE

This makes me sick!

 

CABOOSE

Ragdoll showed he had the brains to win this match guys, and he may have just ended Axel’s career in the process!

 

Zack staggers to his feet, and Candie helps him out of the ring. He looks up at the ring, where the new HI-YAH Champion Ragdoll is standing victorious. Zack stares at his opponent, and Ragdoll returns the icy glare. The two bad guys of the OAOAST keep the trash talk going, as Candie helps Zack to the back.

 

COLE

My god, I can’t believe this! And we’ve still got an OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship match to come! Can Hoff realise what he calls his destiny, or can Crystal slay the rookie monster? What a Main Event this is shaping up to be!

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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From outside of the arena, a chilling voice is heard doing it’s best afternoon mid-90s TV theme song impression…

 

When I wake up in the morning

And the clock lets out a warning

I don't think I'll ever make it on time

By the time I got my books I give myself a look

I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by

 

It's alright cause I'm saved by the bell

 

The voice is Chris’ as he belts out the tune, trying in vain to please the three homeless judges before him as James rolls around on the ground laughing in bewilderment in the background…

 

If the teacher pops a test I know I'm a mess

And my dog ate all my homework last night

Ridin low in my chair she won't know tha t I'm there

If I can hand it in tomorrw it'll be alright

 

It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the bell.

It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the bell.

It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the bell.

 

With a final flourish, Chris does a perfect front flip and lands on his knees, finally drawing a gasp from the judges. James can barely get to his feet.

 

“Shut up, man!”

 

“No no, that was sooooo good, really.” The sarcasm was so thick it could stop bullets, but Chris just shrugged it off.

 

“Let’s see how YOU do, smart guy!”

 

“Fine!”

 

James clears his throat and sits down on the curb, faking his way across an imaginary piano…

 

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

 

 

Wouldn't you like to get away?

 

 

Sometimes you want to go, where everybody knows your name,

and they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

 

James is suddenly joined by Chris, who sits down next to him and starts up a duet…

 

 

You wanna go where people know, people are all the same,

You wanna go where everybody knows your name.

 

 

You want to go where people know, people are all the same;

You want to go where everybody knows your name.[/i]

 

The two get up, arms around each other and stumble off across the parking lot, repeating the last stanzas over and over and over. As they reach the end of the parking lot they have totally forgotten about the pay-per-view and the arena behind them.

 

“So, what song do you want to sing next?”

 

“We are the world!”

 

“No, man, We are the champions! YEAH!”

 

“We are the world! We are the WORLD!”

 

“WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!”

 

“WORLD!”

 

“CHAMPIONS!”

 

“WORLD!”

 

“CHAMPIONS!”

 

…things never change…

 

Chris throws the first shot, an open-handed slap to James’ face. The retaliation is similar and before long they are slapping at each other like crazy. The homeless judges walk past them shaking their heads and down the street, leaving Chris and James battling back and forth behind them. Somewhere, John Ratzenberger smiles, cause with the OAOAST, we’ve got Made…In America.

 

The Cheers theme then cues from out of nowhere, as the possibilities that the homeless have a jukebox is still out there, and the scene fades to black.

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for the OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP...

 

"YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!"

 

BUFFER

...and in this match, there will be NO countouts. NO disqualifications. There MUST be a winner!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

Woah!

 

CABOOSE

Since when was this made?

 

COLE

I don't know, but I sure like it! I guess the OAOAST board was determined to let this issue settle itself before it became personal.

 

CABOOSE

Well, God knows letting them cave each other's skulls in with chairs isn't going to make it personal.

 

 

.:CUE: "Higher Ground" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers:.

 

The crowd instantly rise to their feet as the music of the OAOAST X-Division Champion hits, bringing out Eddy Kalm and Leah Blackstone through the WEB OF EVIL, HELL AND HELLISH EVIL~! at the top of the ramp. Quickly they step to the side...

 

*PHHHFFFF!*

 

...as off goes the pyro and into World Without End flies The Blurricane!

 

 

"PEOPLE! KEEP ON LEARNIN'!"

 

"SOLDIERS! KEEP ON WARRIN'!"

 

"THE WORLD! KEEP ON TURNIN'!"

 

"'CAUSE IT WON'T BE LONG!"

 

Blurricane, Kalm and Leah walk down the ramp towards the ring as we see various people in the arena in Blurricane costumes. Not advisable for trick or treaters over the age of eight. And even then, you know...it's cheaper to use an old bedsheet, a bikechain and a bottle of ketchup. Anyway, Blurricane and co. enter the ring and Blurricane hits 'the' pose, to a pop from the fans, before backing into one corner of the ring.

 

COLE

The champion, looking focused here tonight. He knows that tonight will be a big test...possibly one of the biggest tests he's had as X-Division Champion.

 

COACH

No doubt. Rodez is rested up and ready to go.

 

CABOOSE

Oh, he's still less than 100% though. Don't let his bravado kid you, Rodez is still not in top condition.

 

 

*GONG!*

 

"GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!"

 

Out through the web bounds Leon Rodez, firing up the crowd as Kool and the Gang's "Jungle Boogie" plays in the background...the crowd dancing along with Rodez, as he reaches down and tags the outstretched hands of the crowd. Watching on, Blurricane seems unconcerned with Rodez's jovial mood and goes about his stretches, while Rodez keeps on tagging hands and smiling at the women.

 

COLE

Well, Leon certainly LOOKS in top condition.

 

CABOOSE

All for show.

 

Reaching the ring, Rodez leaps over the top and dances his way over to Leah Blackstone...earning a shove from Blurricane for his trouble. The referee steps in before things can escalate so Rodez smiles and turns away to fire up the fans some more. Meanwhile, Blurricane glares over at Rodez while Leah steps behind her man with Kalm. The music is off by now and the buzz of the crowd replaces it, as Michael Buffer steps back into centre stage.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing...the challenger! From Grand Rapids, Michigan and weighing two hundred and eight pounds. This is "Silky Smooth"... LEEEEEEEEOON RRRRRRROOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Rodez salutes the crowd once more to another wave of cheers.

 

BUFFER

At this time, introducing Eddy Kalm... and Leah Blackstone!

 

Kalm and Leah acknowledge their names with little more than a raised arm apiece.

 

BUFFER

And they represent the opponent. From Houston Texas. He weighs in at two hundred, ten pounds and he is the reigning...and defending... UNDISPUTED ONE AND ONLY ANGLLLEEEEESAULT THREAD... X-DIVISION CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLDD!!! THEEEEEE BLLLUUUUURRRRRRICAAAAAANEEEE!!!!

 

The crowd pop for the champion as he removes his title belt during the intro, holding it in the air for all to see. Still holding the belt aloft, Blurricane then turns to Rodez and points a finger towards the belt...as does Rodez, with the referee again stepping in before the battle can ensue. Quickly, Buffer takes the hint and leaves the ring. As do Kalm and Leah.

 

COLE

So here we go...Blurricane and Rodez, former friends looking to become king of the X-Division hill.

 

Removing his royal blue robe, Rodez dumps it to the outside where it's caught by one of the ring crew...while Blurricane hangs his cape over the top turnbuckle. Already, a "RODEZ" chant has started up, as both men turn away from their corners. They're ready. The fans are ready. The ref is ready...

 

COACH

I'm ready!

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

And the match is underway. Both men jig out of their corners like two prizefighters, ready for action. Only instead of punching each other's faces in, Blurricane and Rodez both lunge forward into a collar and elbow tie-up. Both then jostle for position, with neither man gaining an inch on the other before Rodez finally pushes Blurricane away. The two exchange a brief stare before trying again. But again, after a few seconds of jostling it's another stalemate. So for a third time the two dive in...this time, Rodez slipping quickly behind with a hammerlock. A back elbow from Blurricane quickly breaks that, allowing him to reach back and lock on a side headlock. Only for Rodez to slip out and back into the hammerlock. Again Blurricane goes for an elbow, but Rodez ducks it this time and Blurricane's arm flies over his head. As it comes back though, on goes a side headlock before Blurricane leaps into the air and side headlocks Rodez to the mat. Only trouble is, Rodez hangs onto the hammerlock and quickly manouevers the X-Division Champion face-down on the canvas. The split crowd applaude Rodez's abilites as he chains from hammerlock to side headlock, only for Blurricane to counter by rolling Rodez over onto his shoulders and cradling a leg...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

Kickout by Rodez.

 

Back up scramble both men. Quickly Rodez goes for another side headlock takedown but is just as quickly pushed off by Blurricane, into the ropes. Back shoots the challenger with a head of steam, swinging with a clothesline that Blurricane easily ducks as he runs past Rodez. Hitting opposite ropes, the two men rebound and look to be on a collission course...until Rodez puts the brakes on. Blurricane skids to a halt at the same time leaving both men staring the other down.

 

COLE

And we're at a stand still!

 

COACH

Man, these two guys are showin' it here tonight!

 

Face to face, challenger and champion start to exchange words. Words which anger Blurricane enough to swing with a punch wildly. Rodez easily ducks though, quickly schoolboying Blurricane before he can steady himself...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

Kickout by Blurricane.

 

Again, both men scramble back to their feet quickly. This time Rodez wastes little time in firing a knee to the gut, before hooking Blurricane's arms up. Blurricane is able to spin free however, to the side of Rodez, grabbing him by the arm and irish whipping the challenger into the ropes. Rodez hits a shoulder block on the way back though, before hitting the next set of ropes. Blurricane gets back up, but gets a second shoulder for his trouble. Back again goes the challenger. This time though, Blurricane fakes him out and drops down. Only for Rodez to react quickly, hopping over Blurricane and waiting for him to get up before spinning Blurricane around...

 

*SMACK!*

 

...and slapping the taste out of the X-Division Champion's mouth! The crowd 'OOOH', as with that one strike this match has gotten personal...especially to Blurricane, who loses his cool and charges at Rodez. He ducks a clothesline though, waiting for Blurricane to charge again before hooking for a hiptoss. But on the way down, Rodez cradles Blurricane in his arms...picking him back up and driving him down HARD across his knee!

 

COLE

Ouch! A nasty, nasty modified backbreaker there.

 

COACH

Uhm, jusging from my notes...he calls that the Shoop Shoop, Silky Scoop Loop.

 

CABOOSE

...you made that up, right?

 

COACH

If only.

 

With Blurricane favouring his ribs, Rodez decides to go for a cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

Kickout.

 

Blurricane is quickly out, but all the same the modified backbreaker with the world's most ridiculous name has done it's damage, and Blurricane is busy clutching at his lower back. Rodez meanwhile stalks over his opponent, stomping him a couple of times before picking him up by the head. A forearm rocks Blurricane, before he gets whipped off the ropes. As his opponent comes back, Rodez ducks his head...a moment too early, allowing Blurricane to leapfrog him effortlessly. Around turns Rodez, quick with a boot to the gut and going for a DDT. Blurricane almost immediately arches back with a northern lights suplex attempt. But Rodez hangs on with the front facelock, tightly enough to bring Blurricane over into a sickening landing with something resembling a DDT!!!

 

COLE

He countered it! I've never seen a move like that in my life guys! Awesome!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but Rodez still took the move himself.

 

Blurricane's head bounces off the mat and he slumps into a seated position, holding his neck as Rodez pulls himself up slowly behind the champion. A slight smile now appears on Rodez's face as he lines up Blurricane, through a makeshift picture frame with his hands, before diving forward and dropkicking him in the base of the spine!

 

"OOOOOOOHHHH!!!"

 

The crowd groan, as do Kalm and Leah. Blurricane would too, if the wind hadn't been knocked out of him, as he slowly slumps to the side and into a pinfall attempt...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout.

 

Undettered, Rodez stands back up with a quick flash of a smile out towards his fans, who respond with cheers. While he's doing that though, Blurricane has fought through the pain and is creeping up behind Rodez. Who luckily has the presence of mind to fire off a back elbow, catching the champion flush in the jaw. Back staggers Blurricane, while Rodez turns around and nails his opponent with a big right hand that drops him to his knees. Blurricane is quickly back to a vertical base but takes another right hand before getting hooked and vertical suplexed. Quickly Rodez rolls back to his feet, striding past the fallen Blurricane and heading to the top rope.

 

COACH

Well, it's about time we got some flying. After all, this is for the X-Division Championship.

 

Wasting no time in reaching the top, Rodez crouches into position and wait for Blurricane to get back up, waiting some more while he stumbles over. Once he's close enough, off the top springs Rodez, connecting with a missile dropkick! Away flies Blurricane, while Rodez scrambles over to make a cover...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout.

 

COLE

It's clear Leon Rodez wants this over with as quickly as possible. You may be right 'Boose, those ribs may still be bothering him.

 

CABOOSE

May be right? Of course I'm right!

 

Helping Blurricane up from the mat, Rodez scoops and slams him. Rodez follows that up with a quick elbow drop, before pausing for a moment, clearly thinking over strategy. As too is Eddy Kalm, who watches on intently as his protegé is in some trouble at the moment. Rodez facelocks Blurricane and again pulls him up, pausing again before snapping behind Blurricane and popping him over with a german suplex! Blurricane lands high and tight, again jolting his back on landing. Meanwhile, Rodez is already back up and trying to get the crowd behind him. They remain split however, some cheering but not all. All the same, Rodez takes the cheers he does get in his sails as he jigs back around. Blurricane is up but clearly feeling the effects of the match, as in strides Rodez...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOO!"

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOO!"

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOO!"

 

...offloading three hard knifedge chops. Gasping for breath, to his knees Blurricane drops. With a hook of the head, Rodez pulls the champion straight back up though, quickly dropping behind Blurricane and locks on a waistlock. But before he can pop off a second german, Blurricane swings with both left and right elbows, both connecting in quick succession. Seeing stars, back staggers Leon as Blurricane finds the wits to hit the ropes, charging back at Rodez who instinctively backsteps away from the champion...until reaching the ropes, which he quickly pulls down. Blurricane doesn't react and gets lowbridged over the top, landing hard on the rampway! He's back up quickly though, grabbing the unaware Rodez and pulling him over the top too! Now both men are on the elevated rampway...and suddenly the two men have erupted into life, exchanging punches while the crowd roar both men on!

 

CABOOSE

Here we go! It couldn't last Cole...it just couldn't. You knew it'd degenerate into this eventually.

 

COLE

Well it was always on the cards, yes.

 

CABOOSE

And notice, it's Blurricane who started the actual fight. I think he's frustrated because so far, he's been out-wrestled!

 

Still the punches fly at a rapid pace, with Rodez seemingly getting the better of the exchange as Blurricane falls back against the ropes. Which is no let up, as Rodez moves in on the under-fire champion and pulls him off the ropes...lamping him with a stinging right! Blurricane's jaw snaps skywards and he falls backwards, the ropes bouncing him back into a clothesline by Rodez. All Kalm and Leah can do is watch on from across the ring with nervous looks adorning their faces, as Rodez pulls Blurricane off his back and throws him a few feet up the rampway. Blurricane rolls through to his feet, but Rodez is already coming back off the ropes and charging towards the entrance way and Blurricane...

 

 

...but Blurricane ducks a clothesline, leaving his forearm extended for Rodez to run gut-first into. Rodez groans and doubles over, while Blurricane uses Rodez as assistance to pull himself up. Quickly he drives a forearm into Rodez's ribs...and with that forearm, it seems any recovery Rodez had made in the past few weeks was for not as he wails in pain and falls to his knees with a hold of his back.

 

CABOOSE

I hate to say I told you so, but...well...I did tell you so.

 

COLE

That could very well be the turning point in this match. And it could be the end of Leon Rodez's X-Division Title aspirations.

 

Where-as the old, happy go lucky Blurricane may have shown pity on someone with the likes of Leon Rodez...but this Blurricane has an X-Division Championship to retain, so runs in and boots Rodez in the spine with as much force as he can muster! Rodez again groans in pain, collapsing forwards with a hand still clutched to his back. Blurricane meanwhile turns away from Rodez and re-enters the ring. From there he strolls across, looking down at Kalm.

 

"Chair."

 

COLE

What!?!

 

COACH

Oh ho, boy!

 

Kalm looks understandably surprised...but shrugs and quickly walks over to the timekeeper's table where he retrieves a chair from under Buffer. Blurricane accepts it with a thank you and sets the chair down in the centre of the ring. While on the rampway, Rodez is crawling slowly towards the ring. As he gets near, Blurricane exits to the rampway and throws the challenger back in before climbing the ropes towards the top turnbuckle. Gallantly Rodez pulls himself up to his feet. Just in time for Blurricane to fly off the top, landing on top of the fallen Rodez with a crossbody block which goes straight into a cover.

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Blurricane leaps back to his feet, only to then leap off them and drop a leg across the throat of the challenger. His body jolts on impact, as Blurricane thinks for a moment...and then makes another cover.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

This time Blurricane doesn't leap back to his feet...preferring instead to pepper Rodez with some right hands. Rodez tries to cover up, but still the punches continue until Blurricane is good and ready to cease.

 

CABOOSE

Blurricane looks really frustrated here. Which, isn't usual.

 

COLE

Well, we know that Leon Rodez frustrates people. He just won't give up. Won't quit.

 

CABOOSE

He's stubborn is what you're saying.

 

Pulling Rodez back up, Blurricane slowly pushes him towards the corner and up against the buckles. Blurricane throws Rodez's arms aside, leaving his chest wide open...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOO!"

 

...for a chop. Blurricane's glove does little soften the blow, judging by the reaction from Rodez, as Blurricane pulls the winded challenger a step out from the corner before stepping behind him. Hopping to the middle rope Blurricane then hooks on a reverse front facelock. Rodez quickly reaches up and hooks Blurricane's head, trying to pull him off the ropes. So Blurricane releases the reverse front facelock and drives his knee into the back of the challenger's head! That dazes Rodez, allowing Blurricane to leap over the top of his opponent, clasping his ankles around "Silky Smooth"'s head on the way over and headscissor him far across the ring! Rodez stays down on landing, as Blurricane quickly heads to the top rope again. Quickly he's up top, launching off the top just as quickly. At the last second, Rodez tries to roll out of the way...but succeeds only in rolling onto his front, as Blurricane's top rope splash connects across his lower back! Which, of course, is not a good thing.

 

CABOOSE

He may be stubborn, but this kid doesn't have much luck, eh?

 

COACH

I disagree. He has plenty of luck with the laydeez~!

 

CABOOSE

...last I checked, this was a wrestling show. Sexual prowess has nothing to do with wrestling ability.

 

COACH

So, in theory, that'd make Cole a great wrestler, right?

 

CABOOSE

...no.

 

COLE

Ouch...my pride.

 

As Rodez lays flat out, face down on the canvas with a hold of his lower back...The Blurricane is hurting himself, as he landed rather in a rather unorthodox position. Still, he's in better shape than Rodez and manages to get to his feet first. And as he does, right beneath his feet lays the steel chair. A change of heart suddenly strikes Blurricane though and he passes up on the opportunity to use it, deciding instead to pull Rodez up and whip him off the ropes. Rodez shoots back, straight into a jumping clothesline which is followed with a quick pinfall attempt...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

Blurricane is quickly back up, pulling Rodez up by the hair which is of course perfectly legal with No DQs. Up but hurt, Rodez swings with a weak right hand. It connects, but Blurricane shrugs it off and goes to the gut before pulling Rodez in and lifting him up for a powerbomb. Rodez slides out in mid-air however, taking Blurricane over with an armdrag variation for good measure! The crowd pop as Blurricane scrambles to his feet, to be met with a running forearm from a suddenly recovered Leon Rodez! Blurricane falls into the ropes, as Rodez follows right in and continues the onslaught by peppering Blurricane with some more forearms, some more punches...

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOO!"

 

...some more chops...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOO!"

 

Before, that is, Blurricane finally fires back with some offense of his own. Both men are once again exchanging punches, with Rodez once again in control of that. Eventually the punches of Rodez wear out the X-Division Champion, to the point that he stops short of a punch in exhaustion. And at that point, Rodez whips Blurricane off the ropes. Coming back, Blurricane ducks a clothesline and drills Rodez in the kidneys with a knee that drops Rodez to one knee. Quickly Blurricane rushes past Rodez, hopping off of his planted knee and swinging with the shining enziguri. But Rodez ducks it and Blurricane falls flat on his face. And quickly Rodez grabs him, floating over with an Oklahoma roll...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

NO!

 

Blurricane, knowing that he's just three counts away from being a former champion, realises he has to go on the offensive and nails an unprepared Rodez with a double axehandle across the back...and again. Rodez feels the effects, allowing Blurricane to take Rodez over with an Oklahoma roll of his own...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

NO!

 

COLE

Both men continuing to go hold for hold, move for move.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but eventually one of them will use that chair. One of them will lose their cool and resort to weaponary to be the X-Division champ.

 

Grabbing Rodez by the hair, Blurricane pulls up the challenger and sends him off into the ropes before following right in behind. The move doesn't go as planned though, as Rodez bounces off the mat too late for Blurricane's planning and the two men clock heads. Away stumbles Blurricane as Rodez holds his head, shrugging off the pain and charging at Blurricane, who looks for a hiptoss. Rodez blocks it though, connecting with a knee to the gut before scooping up Blurricane and powerbombing him...

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!*

 

 

...ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!!

 

 

COACH

Aw, DAYYUM~!

 

CABOOSE

Heeeeere we go!

 

Rodez smiles broadly as he staggers back from delivering the move...but suddenly, realising that his opponent's landing was 'broken' by the chair, Rodez's expression becomes almost apologetic. The crowd are cheering away meanwhile, but Rodez is not. Obviously he didn't want to do things that way.

 

CABOOSE

...what is he doing? He's got the X-Division Title within his grasp...pin him, you idiot!

 

COLE

Well, I don't think Rodez wanted to do this. He didn't know the chair was there...

 

CABOOSE

SO!?!

 

Leaping to the apron, Leah Blackstone doesn't seem too happy and is trying to get in to check on The Blurricane, with the referee standing in her way. Seeing Leah on the apron, Rodez walks over, sorrowful look on his face as he tries to explain what happened. But while he does, Blurricane is slowly but surely pulling himself back up to his knees. Still Rodez seems more concerned with apologising to Leah than going back on the attack. But eventually he pulls away from Leah and moves in on Blurricane. Who drives a forearm deep into the gut of the challenger, before pulling himself gingerly up and spiking Rodez with a DDT!

 

COLE

And from nowhere, Blurricane is back in this one!

 

CABOOSE

He shouldn't be. This one should be over, but Leon Rodez is an idiot!

 

With Rodez down, Blurricane falls flat on his back, with one arm laying over the challenger...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

NO!

 

Leah and Kalm are suddenly more vocal, cheering Blurricane on as both he and Rodez begin to simultaneously struggle to their feet. Blurricane is up first, grabbing Rodez as he does and throwing him across the ring...giving himself chance to pick up the steel chair! With a rare look of anger in his eyes, Blurricane looks from the chair in his hands over to Rodez struggling to his feet across the ring...before charging...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...into a superkick!

 

"YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

 

The chair goes flying and so does Blurricane, while Rodez drops to his knees and takes a quick breather. Which doesn't last long, before Rodez drags Blurricane nearer the turnbuckles and begins to climb to the top rope.

 

COLE

And now, we may see Rodez attempt to end this one!

 

CABOOSE

About two minutes too late, yeah.

 

Rodez takes a bit more time than before to reach the top, but does so eventually...only to find Blurricane too far away to hit his patented 450 Splash. So, Rodez plumps for 'plan B' as he stands tall on the top rope and springs into the air, with a frog splash...that MISSES it's target! Blurricane had rolled out of the way just in time, causing Rodez to crash harmlessly to the canvas. The force bounces Rodez back up and he sits on his knees, too winded to move as Blurricane pulls himself back up. Blurricane turns, knowing exactly what to do as he runs forward and connects with the shining enziguri to the back of Rodez's head! The challenger slumps forward, getting cradled up into a pinning combination...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

NOOO!

 

Frustrated, Blurricane slaps the mat angrily as he gets carefully back to his feet...while Rodez is still on his hands and knees. Blurricane pulls Rodez up to his feet though, only to then turn him around and toss him out of the ring and to the floor, following right out after him.

 

COACH

I think you may have been right 'Boose. Blurricane does look a little frustrated here.

 

CABOOSE

Woah...Coachman, agreeing with me?

 

COACH

Well it's either that or you eat me again.

 

The fight has spilled to the floor as Blurricane grabs Rodez, turning him back towards the ring and irish whipping the challenger hard back-first into the ring apron! Back staggers Rodez, with Blurricane simply brushing past Rodez and climbing up onto the apron himself. Rodez reacts however, charging at Blurricane and grabbing him by the ankle...but taking a kick from Blurricane's free leg, directly into the jaw. The force staggers Rodez a good few steps back, giving Blurricane time to re-adjust himself and assess his position. He then assesses Rodez's position too, before turning back to the ring and leaping in one bound to the top rope. Almost toppling forward, Blurricane stops and gains his balance, before suddenly flipping backwards to the awe of the crowd. Rodez doesn't see Blurricane until it's too late, able only to throw his hands up in a feeble attempt to catch the champion as he crashes down...

 

 

 

COACH

Oh shi -

 

*CRAAAA - CCCKKK!!!*

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

...AND BOTH MEN CRASH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!

 

 

 

"HO - LEE SHIT!"

 

"HO - LEE SHIT!"

 

"HO - LEE SHIT!"

 

 

Laying amongst the rubble of the table are Rodez and Blurricane, while Triple C get the hell off of their sofa while they still can. The crowd meanwhile are going nuts, as monitors and wires cover the two combatants who may very well be both done for.

 

COLE

He...hello. Hello...are we on? 'Boose?

 

COACH

You on Mikey?

 

COLE

Yeah...I can hear you Coach...my god. I think Caboose's headset has been ripped off, but that's not the issue here! Rodez and Blurricane...are hurt, are out here. Blurricane flew with that Suicide Moonsault and...wiped out Rodez, wiped out our table.

 

COACH

Can we...I mean, should we...you know, help these guys?

 

 

*************************

 

*THE OAOAST INSTANT REPLAY

SPONSORED BY MOUNTAIN DEW*

 

Almost toppling forward, Blurricane stops and gains his balance, before suddenly flipping backwards to the awe of the crowd. Rodez doesn't see Blurricane until it's too late, able only to throw his hands up in a feeble attempt to catch the champion as he crashes down...

 

 

 

 

 

 

*CRAAAA - CCCKKK!!!*

 

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

...AND BOTH MEN CRASH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!

 

*************************

 

 

Back to live action and beginning to stir is The Blurricane, pulling the wires and monitors that cover him off of his body and tossing them to the side. Broken glass and wood covers the floor beneath the two men and it seems Blurricane may have taken some of it, as his right shoulder is bleeding. Favouring that body-part, Blurricane stumbles out of the wreckage and falls forwards to where Eddy Kalm and Leah Blackstone quickly check on him. In the meantime, the referee is trying to take some of the larger objects off of Leon Rodez, who is still laying flat out on the collapsed table but is conscious.

 

COLE

I'm guessing this match will continue, but I'm not sure if Leon Rodez is in any condition to.

 

COACH

Agreed. He went through the table back-first...with all of Blurricane's weight flying down on him from lord knows how high. Those bad ribs could be broken ribs now.

 

All Rodez can manage to do at the moment is reach his arms skywards, waiting for some sort of energy to reach him before trying to get up. Blurricane meanwhile seems to be relatively okay and walks back over to Rodez, grabbing his arms and heaving Rodez out of the mess of wood, glass and metal. Even though his shoulder is clearly bothering him, Blurricane drags Rodez over towards the ring and heaves him up onto the apron and rolls him into the ring...following in, with the concerned referee right behind him. All that remains now is for Blurricane to pull Rodez away from the ropes and make as much of a cover as he can.

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

COLE

He...HE KICKED OUT!

 

COACH

Sunnuva...

 

Blurricane can't believe it and holds his head in his hands, unable to believe his luck. But he knows that his X-Division Championship is just a three count away and that he has the match well in hand, so pulls his head back out of his hands and starts to pull Rodez up. The challenger is nearly dead-weight, with Blurricane having some trouble in dragging him to his feet. But once he does, there's no problem in goozling Rodez ready for the chokeslam. Quickly Blurricane looks to the crowd, gives the thumbs up and hooks Rodez's tights. From there he lifts Rodez up and quickly drives him into the canvas with the chokeslam, taking a moment to regain his bearings afterwards before dropping down and making the cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUTAGAIN!!!

 

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Now Blurricane really cannot believe what's happening and remains on his knees, staring down at Rodez in sheer disbelief.

 

 

"YOU CAN'T KILL HIM!"

*CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

"YOU CAN'T KILL HIM!"

*CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*

 

To his feet scrambles Blurricane, taking a handful of Rodez's hair and dragging him slowly up once more. At a slight loss for ideas Blurricane stops momentarily, before again grabbing the goozle and setting Rodez for a chokeslam. No pause, no thumbs up...Blurricane raises Rodez into the air quick as a flash. But from deep, deep down in his deepest reserve, Rodez finds enough energy to hook Blurricane around the head on the way up and PLANT him with a DDT that nearly blows the roof off of the arena!!!

 

COLE

DDT! I can't believe Rodez is still in this match...let alone delivering offence!

 

COACH

This is insane Cole.

 

Both men are down and sucking wind, with the split crowd beginning to favour what must now be clearly the underdog...the challenger, Leon Rodez. Still there are plenty of Blurricane supporters though and both men are being willed up, with both drawing from that energy as they try to get back up. First to his feet is the champ, dis-orientated from the DDT. The challenger is up soon after but with all the mobility of an 80 year old, clutching at his back and gasping for air. In stumbles Blurricane but he takes a boot to the gut, before getting hooked for a tiger driver. But as he tries to lift Blurricane his back twinges and Rodez stops in his tracks, grabbing his back. That gives Blurricane chance to escape, scoot behind Rodez and hit a quick side russian legsweep. However, the fall leaves both men down again.

 

CABOOSE

...is this worthless piece of crap working yet!?!

 

COLE

Yeah, you're on 'Boose.

 

COACH

Welcome back, brah!

 

CABOOSE

Great. Is there any way to make this work without being able to hear you two?

 

Struggling to his feet, Blurricane gets back up and looks around the ring for some sort of inspiration...and there is the steel chair again. Picking it up, Blurricane knows he has to do whatever it takes to retain his title and weakly sets the chair up in the centre of the ring. While across the ring Rodez pulls himself up using the ropes, Blurricane has the chair sat up and ready to use so walks over to Rodez and boots him in gut. Rodez responds with a jab though!

 

And a second jab!

 

 

Third jab!

 

 

Fourth jab!

 

 

And the fifth! Blurricane is on rubber legs as Rodez turns around, blowing a kiss out towards the fans before turning back to the X-Division Champion and connecting with the backbrain kick!

 

COACH

MAMA SAID KNOCK...YOU...OUT~!

 

Rodez searches for some energy before turning Blurricane onto his back and making the cover...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

For all the talk of Rodez's miraculous recoveries, don't count out The Blurricane either. He's two and 0 against Rodez of course.

 

Sighing, Rodez gets back to his feet, using the ropes to hold himself up as he slowly manoueveres his way over to the champion and whips him off the ropes. Rebounding, Blurricane re-adjusts his course and plants his foot on the steel chair and uses it to spring into the air and crossbody into Rodez...

 

 

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

No, Rodez rolls through with a cover of his own...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

Kickout by Blurricane.

 

Both men get back to their feet as quickly as possible, with Blurricane running off the ropes as he gets to his feet and charging towards Rodez. But Rodez sees Blurricane and his jumping clothesline coming, catching him in mid-air and falling forward...

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

...FLAPJACKING HIM ACROSS THE CHAIR!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!"

 

The chair collapses under Blurricane and he bounces off to the side, holding his sternum from the impact of the landing. Rodez has meanwhile got the adrenaline flowing through his body and leaves the ring to climb towards the top rope...each step causing him to grimace, as he eventually reaches the top rope.

 

CABOOSE

This is a risk Rodez really doesn't need to take here.

 

COLE

But he's taking it all the same, with the X-Division Title in his sights...

 

Getting to the top, Rodez looks to where Blurricane lays...roughly halfway across the ring. Rodez doesn't care though, standing to the cheers of the crowd before flying through the air and connecting with the Frog Splash! But in doing so, Rodez drives whatever wind he has left in him back out of himself. Both men are down and both have aching ribs, but it's Rodez who recovers quickest to drop an arm over the champion...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!"

 

COLE

Only two! One count away from a new champion!

 

Rodez grits his teeth through the pain as he pulls himself back up, grabbing the steel chair as he does so and using that as a makeshift walking stick. Folding it up, Rodez waits for Blurricane to get back up with the chair ready to swing...but he then hesitates, allowing Blurricane to charge in for a jumping clothesline. Rodez ducks however, quickly tossing the chair at him as he lands. Blurricane catches it though, ducking a clothesline attempt from Rodez...

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

...and connecting with a VILE chair shot, folding Rodez into himself and causing him to collapse to the canvas. The crowd give another mixed reaction as Blurricane tosses the chair aside, before grabbing Rodez and giving the signal that the end is near. Blurricane then pulls Rodez up, doubles him over and sets him ready for the Blur Effect!

 

COACH

He's going for it and you can bet Rodez won't be kicking out from this.

 

CABOOSE

Famous last words.

 

Turning into the body of the challenger, Blurricane hooks the challenger up and lifts him up ready for the Blur Effect...

 

 

...but Rodez floats over, landing on his feet and lifting Blurricane up into the Electric Chair position. However, Blurricane counters too, pushing off and landing behind the challenger before pushing him into the ropes. Rodez rebounds off the ropes as Blurricane leaps upwards with a Dropsault attempt...only for Rodez to hang onto the top rope at the last possible chance and stop himself, causing Blurricane to crash to the canvas hard! He gets up quickly out of instincts, to be placing in a reverse front facelock and lifted up ready for the Street Smarts. But again comes the counter, with Blurricane hooking Rodez on the way over, hitting an inverted DDT and cradling Rodez up from nowhere...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE..

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

CABOOSE

The hell?

 

COLE

Kickout at two and nine tenths!

 

CABOOSE

This kid is some sort of android...he's got to be!

 

Back up hops The Blurricane, scurrying over and retrieving the steel chair, looking slightly desperate now as he runs in with the chair raised. But Rodez sees him coming, drop-toe-holding Blurricane to the canvas. The chair falls agonising inches away from Blurricane's reach...just as Rodez steps over Blurricane's leg and hooks the arm. The crowd know what's coming and rise to their feet, as Rodez reaches around and locks the cravate around The Blurricane's head to a HUGE pop from the crowd!

 

COLE

THE CHICK MAGNET!

 

Blurricane is locked in and his reaches for the ropes are in vain desperation, as they are a good few feet away. Still, the X-Division title is slipping through Blurricane's fingers and he knows it, knowing too that he HAS to fight the move. So with all the energy he has, Blurricane begins to crawl and claw forwards with his eyes fixed on the ropes.

 

But his back is being arched back violently, the same back that had been worked over earlier. Pain fills the body of The Blurricane, as he grits his teeth and continues to claw inch by inch forwards, the ropes getting nearer ever so gradually...

 

 

 

 

 

...but they're still not close enough, as Rodez wrenches away with all his might...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*TAP TAP TAP!*

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

COLE

NEW CHAMPION!!!

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

 

 

*GONG!*

 

"GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN!"

 

"Jungle Boogie" hits again but can be barely heard over the roaring crowd, who are going crazy as Rodez releases the Chick Magnet and clutches his head in his hands in pure ecstacy! Leah and Kalm quickly roll into the ring to check on Blurricane, who's shoulder is still bleeding profusely...while the referee goes over across the ring, retrieving the X-Division Championship belt.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen...your winner, by submission. And the NEEEEW! UNDISPUTED ONE AND ONLY ANGLLLEEEEESAULT THREAD... X-DIVISION CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLDD!!! LLLLLLLEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN RRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!

 

COLE

After so many months on the bench...after re-constructive knee surgery. After thinking his career was dead and buried before it had hardly even begun! Despite everything he went through and against all odds...Leon Rodez came to World Without End. He fought through injury, suffering and pain! He overcame the challenge of The Blurricane and he is the NEW X-Division Champion! What a moment!

 

Taking the belt in his arms, Rodez is at the point of tears as he looks into the large gold plate and the striking red 'X'...and knowing that it is now his! And despite the searing pain in his back, Rodez pulls himself to his feet and raises the belt high above his head, to another eruption from the crowd. The moment is just sinking in. Rodez looks around the crowd and pumps his chest, thanking all of his fans...as The Blurricane clutches his shoulder, but nods his approval towards Rodez before he, Leah and Kalm make their way slowly up the ramp.

 

COLE

What a match and what a moment.

 

CABOOSE

Credit where credit's due, Rodez impressed me. But, at the risk of sounding too hurried...there's plenty more to come and there's plenty more I want to see more than Rodez's lovefest. So...let's get on with the show. And get a replacement table out here would ya? These aren't viable working conditions for someone like moi.

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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We cut out to ringside, where a clipboard holding the contract for the World Title match hangs above the ring. The camera pans the ringside area; an erect ladder is positioned in the middle of the ramp, and numerous other ladders are placed at various points around the ringside area. The camera's focus switches to the ring, where Michael Buffer stands with a mic in his hand.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the tiebreaking match in the Round Robin Tournament! It is a LADDER MATCH, and it is scheduled for one fall. The winner of this contest will earn a chance to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship next month in the Elimination Chamber match! (crowd pops) And now, the participants...

 

Woke Up This Morning

Got Yourself A Gun

Mama Always Said You’d Be

The Chosen One

 

The sounds of A3's "Woke Up This Morning" hit the PA system. The spiderweb entrance opens up, and the crowd boos wildly as Drek Stone emerges from the locker room. He doesn't let jeers phase him, though, as he strolls down the ramp with a look of determination in his eyes.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, hailing from Brooklyn, New York and weighing in tonight at 225 pounds - he is the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Athlete!” Folks, please welcome the former OAOAST Italian Champion…….DRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEK STOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!!!

 

The crowd continues to boo and heckle Drek as he continues his path to ringside, stopping momentarily to eye the ladder set up on the ramp. He grabs hold of the ladder and shakes it, testing it to make sure it's nice and sturdy. Then, a smile appears on his face as he turns and looks up at the contract.

 

CABOOSE

Look at Drek Stone! Is he ready or is he ready?

 

COACH

...uh...I dunno. What was that first choice again?

 

COLE

Stop it. Drek Stone on his way to the ring...and he sure looks ready to take hold of what he feels is his destiny...that contract that hangs high above the ring.

 

CABOOSE

Exactly, Cole. The fact that this match is even taking place is perhaps the biggest travesty in the history of professional sports. I mean, really, Cole, Drek Stone should not be facing Panther here tonight. Right now he should be sitting back and getting prepared for HIS title shot next month at Thanksgiving Star Wars. His shot at immortality, but that isn't happening right now, because of that corupt, senile old...so-and-so, Bill Watts. I mean, c'mon, Cole...the you can't sit there with a straight face and tell me that Drek Stone doesn't deserve that title shot.

 

COLE

Of course he does. I would never take anything away from Drek Stone. As rotten as the man is, as much as I dislike the man personally, I will admit that he's an amazing competitor and he's certainly earned the right to challenge for the World Title...but on the other hand, so has Panther! You heard what he had to say earlier on. Panther's been through hell and back just to get to this point.

 

CABOOSE

Oh please. Don't tell me that you're actually buying into that sob story of his?

 

COLE

'Boose, Panther's been through so much since coming to the OAOAST. Just the fact that this man had the misfortune of seeing his friend and former tag partner--J-Dogg--killed right in front of him by The Hand. Incidents like those have been known to scar people for life, and for Panther to come back from that and make it to this point...that's tells you something.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, it tells me that you and these people are without a doubt the biggest group of morons I've ever seen in my life. Let me know you, Panther knows that everything that Drek Stone has said about him is true! He knows that he's a sham! He knows that he doesn't deserve that title shot, so what he does is conjure up this little speech designed to get sympathy from these people!

 

COLE

You can't honestly believe that.

 

CABOOSE

Oh, I believe it, and I think it's pathetic. Well you know what Cole...and you too, Coach, I'll tell you one person who will not feel sympathy for Panther tonight, and that's Drek Stone. He's gonna take it to Panther like he's never had it taken to him before, and when it's all said and done, Drek's gonna make the "hell" that Panther's been through over the last year look like a trip to Disney World.

 

COLE

We'll see about that.

 

By now, Drek is in the right, lightly pounding his chest as an impressive display of fireworks fire up from the ringpost. Chants of "DREK STONE SUCKS" echo throughout the arena as Drek turns back toward the locker room, a scowl on his face as he awaits the arrival of his opponent. Then, his music dies down, and "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system. The arena slowly fades to black, and after approximately 5 seconds...

 

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*

 

...a HUUUUUGE pyro blast rips through the stage. Flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena, roaming the crowd momentarily before converging on the stage, where Tina appears through a thick cloud of smoke, closely followed by Panther. The crowd erupts with cheers as Panther strolls to the top of the ramp, intensity written all over his face. Tina takes a knee in front of him, and as the horns begin to blare in the background, Panther slowly raises his arms into the air, holding the pose as bright white spotlights illuminate the set behind him. Then, he snaps his arms down by his sides, and the spotlights disperse about the arena. Panther then starts down the ramp WITH PURPOSE~! as Tina follows closely behind.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent: being accompanied to the ring by Tina! He hails from Philadelphia, PA and weighs in tonight at 194 pounds, he is the Champion of Champions...this...is...PAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNTHHHHHHEEEEERRRRR~!

 

Panther approaches the ladder on the ramp, and--like Drek before him--pauses to get a good look at the ladder. He too tests it to makes sure it's sturdy...then begins to climb it.

 

COACH

Huh? What's he doing?

 

COLE

Panther climbing that ladder on the lamp...Drek Stone in the ring not knowing what to think.

 

Indeed. Drek looks on, perplexed as Panther climbs to the top rung the ladder. With Tina standing below in front of the ladder, Panther scours the arena, soaking up the crowd's reaction. Then, he looks directly at Drek, and with intensity in his eyes, he snaps his right fist into the air and...

 

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*

 

...simultaneous pyro blasts rip through the stage as well as the four ringposts, scaring Drek Stone half to death. The crowd goes wild as Panther climbs down and he and continue continue their path to the ring.

 

CABOOSE

Show off!

 

COLE

Panther's got this crowd on their feet. They are ready for what I'm sure will be an incredible battle.

 

At ringside, Panther hops onto the apron and steps through the ropes, going face to face with Drek as he walks toward the center of the ring. The lights return to normal and the music dies down as the two men begin to trash talk each other. Drek is all up in Panther's face, yelling something about him not deserving the title shot, which leads Panther to shove Drek. Drek comes right back with a pie-face, bringing a smile to Panther's face. He cooly turns back to Drek, who by now, has his fist cocked, preparing to throw a right hand--

 

*BAM*

 

--BUT PANTHER FLOORS HIM WITH A RIGHT OF HIS OWN!!!!!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

There's the bell! This thing is underway!

 

The crowd explodes as Drek finds his feet, only to be floored by another right from Panther! Drek rises once more, but another hard right sends him sailing back into the buckle. Panther storms him quickly, firing off boot after boot into the well-developed abs of Stone before whipping him hard across the ring, causing his body to richochet off the buckle with tremendous force. Drek staggers out of the buckle, clutching at his lower back, at which point Panther grabs him by the arm and sends him right back into the origninal buckle. Drek goes in head first, hitting with such force that he rolls up the turnbuckle and lands in a seated position on the top rope (think HBK). Then, Drek--completely out of it--teeters back and falls back into tree of woe position.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! Drek!

 

COLE

Drek Stone's legs are hooked on that top rope! And watch Panther! He's signalling for something.

 

Indeed. Panther raises his right fist into the air as he backs into the buckle opposite Drek. Stone sees Panther setting himself and tries unsuccessfully to free his legs. With a look of dispair in his eyes, Drek can do nothing but watch on helplessly as Panther storms toward him and...

 

 

*WHAM*

 

DRILLS him with a baseball slide dropkick right to the face. The crowd goes bonkers as Drek's body slumps to the canvas, at which point, Panther rises to his feet and plays to the crowd once more.

 

COLE

Panther is owning Drek Stone here in the early going!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but the keyword there is EARLY! You just wait until Drek gets his mojo working! Things will be much different then! Trust me!

 

Tina claps in approval on the outside as a wobbly Drek stumbles back to his feet and staggers back into the ropes. Unable to catch his bearings, Drek lunges at Panther with a wild right hand, but gets nothing but air. Drek turns and takes another swing at Panther, but the Champ of Champs ducks underneath and runs into the ropes, mowing Drek down with a running front elbow as he comes off. Panther hovers above Drek, wiggling his fingers in anticipation as he awaits his rise. And as soon Drek's vertical, Panther grabs him and hooks him for a T-Bone--BUT NO! Drek nails him with an elbow to break his grip. Undaunted, Panther grabs him again, but two more reverse elbows send him staggering back into the ropes. Drek takes a moment to shake loose the cobwebs before charging Panther with a full head of steam...

 

 

COACH

OOOOOOH! LOOK AT HIM FLY!!!!!!!

 

 

...but a back drop from Panther sends the Reckless one sailing over the top rope and onto the floor below. The crowd is on its feet as Panther climbs upon the ropes and raises his fist into the air. On the floor, Tina is estatic as she roots her man on.

 

COLE

This crowd is deafening in here.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah! These no good fans are so bloody loud...Drek Stone can't even think! It's not fair.

 

On the outside, Drek begins to slap the ringside mats in frustration.

 

COACH

Uh oh! Drek beginning to lose his cool here.

 

He pulls himself off the floor and climbs back onto the apron, only to catch a running forearm to the face from Panther! Front elbow buckles Drek's knees, at which point, Panther grabs him by the hair and drags Drek over to the buckle, preparing to slam him into it...but Drek presses his boot against the post to block it. Instead, Drek counters with an elbow to Panther's jaw, then slams his head into the top turnbuckle, sending the Champ of Champs staggering back out into the center of the ring. Looking to capitalize, Drek propels himself to the top rope and leaps at Panther with a flying clothesline, but Panther has the presence of mind to catch him in midair and bring him over with a armdrag!

 

COACH

DAMN!

 

COLE

What a move!

 

Drek right back to his feet, but a dropkick from Panther sends him rolling toward the ropes. Drek uses the middle and top ropes to pull himself back to a vertical base, at which point, Panther charges in and sends him sailing over the top rope and onto the ramp with a vicious clothesline. Panther pumps his fists, drawing another strong crowd reaction as on the outside, Drek throws up his hands and begins crawling up the ramp.

 

COLE

Drek Stone has been beaten from pillar to post thus far in this one, and now he's beginning to crawl! How embarrassing must this be for him?

 

CABOOSE

Bah! This damn Panther been cheating every step of the way here in this match.

 

COACH

Where's Drek...is he...

 

COLE

He's going for the ladder!

 

Indeed. The crowd boos Drek as he crawls toward the ladder hand over hand. Those boos soon turn to cheers as Panther steps out onto the ramp, casually walks up behind Drek and nails him with a stomp to the back of the head. A second puts him flat on his face. Panther then steps over Drek's prone body and walks toward the ladder himself. He grabs it, folds it up, and turns back to Drek, who's now beginning to pull himself onto his knees. With a sick smile on his face, Panther shoves the ladder over and...

 

 

*CRASH*

 

 

...the aluminum structure falls right onto Drek's head, the force of the impact sending him tumbling backwards onto the ramp. Drek rolls over onto his stomach to pull himself back up, at which point, Panther lifts the ladder up and stalks behind Drek.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! Drek...look out! Behind you! He's behind you!

 

COLE

Panther's got that ladder! Drek Stone...I don't think he even knows where he is...

 

 

*CRASH*

 

Panther just drops the ladder down onto the back and the neck of Stone, causing him to cry out in pain. One of the handheld cameras gets a close up of Drek's face, which is beginning to become the proverbial crimson mask. Panther doesn't care, though, as he kicks the ladder away and lifts Drek back to his feet. Another front elbow to the head staggers Drek, and a right hand follow up knock the Reckless one back down to a knee. Panther then lifts Drek to his feet by his right arm and whips him toward the ring ropes. Drek bounces off and comes right at Panther...

 

 

*CRASH*

 

...ONLY TO CATCH A LADDER TO THE FACE ON THE REBOUND!!!!!

 

COLE

My God!

 

COACH

He damn near took his head off!

 

Drek rolls around on the ramp clutching at his nose. Panther lifts the ladder once more, preparing to make a go for the contract...

 

CROWD

ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!

 

CABOOSE

These people are sick!

 

COLE

The fans are asking for it again! Will Panther oblige?!

 

The fans continue to chant as Panther looks around the arena, then over to Tina, who nods her head in approval. Then, he drops the ladder and lifts Drek back to his feet, to a huge crowd pop.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! Don't do it again! Not again!

 

Panther grabs the wobbly Drek and whips him back into the ropes. He again grabs the ladder as Drek rebounds, but this time, Drek manages to roll underneath the ladder and back to his feet. Panther turns around to try and intercept Drek, but Stone dropkicks the ladder right back into his face. Huge heat from the crowd as both men lie on the ramp, Panther trapped underneath the ladder!

 

CABOOSE

Ha! What did I tell you, Cole?! What did I tell you?! It's his destiny! Drek Stone's destiny to win this match!

 

COACH

Calm down, Boo. It's just one move!

 

CABOOSE

Yes, BUT WHAT A MOVE! That move is the first nail in the coffin of Panther's championship hopes and dreams, and Drek Stone's first step toward immortality! Grab your cameras, fans, and take a good look at that man! That is the next World Champion you are looking at!

 

COLE

I think Crystal and Hoff would take exception to that comment!

 

Drek slowly pulls himself back to his feet as Panther shoves the ladder off of him, trying to clear the cobwebs. He manages to pull himself to a knee, when suddenly, Drek Stone charges and catches him with a running kick to the side of the head, sending him rolling across the ramp. Panther uses his momentum to roll back to his feet, but a mafia kick from Drek puts Panther right onto his back. The fans in the front row boo and shout obscenities at Drek, prompting him to respond with a one finger salute. He then heads back over to the ladder and lifts it up. By now, Panther is slowly beginning to pull himself back to his feet, at which point, Drek scoops the ladder up over his shoulder. Panther sees what's coming and tries to get out of the way, but he's too groggy to do so and...

 

*WHAM*

 

...Drek charges him, with the top rung of the ladder hitting Panther in the face with such force that he's sent flying over the top rope and into the ring. The crowd boos wildly as Drek falls back into a seated position on the ramp. Tina starts to slide into the ring to come to Panther's aid, but one of the referees at ringside grabs her around the waist to prevent her from doing so. Slowly, Drek's able to pick himself and the ladder back up and head back to the ring, where Panther--who's now bleeding--tries to pull himself together. He rolls over onto his knees and tries to push himself back to his feet, but as soon as he reaches his feet, Drek comes up from behind and clips the back of his knee with the ladder.

 

CABOOSE

HAHA! Beautiful! He can't climb the ladder with only one leg.

 

Panther writhes in pain on the mat as he clutches at his knee. Drek doesn't relent, though, and begins stomping the knee furiously--each blow causing Panther to cry out in pain. Drek then grabs Panther's leg and yanks on it, trying to hyperextend the knee. He does it a second time, after which, Panther catches him with a boot to break Drek's grip. Panther crawls toward the corner, hoping to distance himself from Drek, but is unsuccessful as Drek comes right in and catches him with a hard stomp to the knee. He grabs Panther by the hair, lifts him up and presses the back of his neck against the top turnbuckle, at which point he begins to choke him. Panther squirms and flails his arms as he gasps for air. The crowd boos as Drek releases the hold, taking a step back to admire his handiwork. Then, he sizes Panther up and BLASTS him with a reverse elbow right to the side of the head. He follows up with a second, before grabbing Panther's weakened leg, draping it over the middle rope and yanking on it, applying more pressure to the knee and causing Panther to wince in pain. To counter, Panther pulls Drek into a modified front headlock and begins to fire off right hands to the top and back of Drek's head, forcing him to break. Drek staggers, at which point, Panther limps at him and catches him with a hard right hand to the side of the head. He follows up with a second. He goes for a third, but Drek ducks underneath, catches him in a side waistlock, bends his knee back and drops him down onto his own knee with a shin breaker. He delivers a second one before allowing Panther to drop to the canvas, clutching at the injured leg.

 

COLE

Panther's in a world of hurt here!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah...and I've got the feeling that it's gonna get worse.

 

Drek Stone lifts the ladder off the canvas, turns it upside down and drives its edge right into the side of Panther's knee! Again! He then lays the ladder at Panther's feet, drapes the back of Panther's knee across it, and slams it down across the ladder's edge. Then, he opens up the ladder and closes it on Panther's knee! The crowd begins to clamor.

 

COLE

C'mon, Drek! Don't do this!

 

CABOOSE

DO IT, DREK! DO IT!

 

COLE

Panther's knee...his knee is trapped inside that ladder! Drek's climbing up on the middle turnbuckle...NO DREK! DON'T!

 

COACH

He'll break his leg!

 

Tina tries to intervene, but again, the referee grabs her and holds her in place. Drek looks down at her and just laughs before turning back to Panther. He rubs his hands in anticipation before standing upright on the middle rope and leaping off...

 

*CRUNCH*

 

COLE

OH NO!!!

 

...and stomping RIGHT down on the ladder, sandwiching Panther's leg inside of it. The crowd heat is massive as Panther pulls his leg free and rolls over onto the apron, where Tina rushes to his side to console him.

 

COLE

Panther's hurt.

 

COACH

I think his leg may be broken.

 

CABOOSE

Get the contract, Drek! Get it!

 

With a huge smile on his face, Drek lifts the ladder off the canvas, sets it up in the center of the ring and begins to climb.

 

 

Rung by rung...

 

 

Rung by rung...

 

COLE

And this thing is over, unfortunately. Gallant effort on the part of Panther.

 

 

Drek continues his climb, getting just within reach of the belt...

 

CABOOSE

Here we go, Cole! Drek Stone, destiny is knocking at you door!

 

Drek's reaching for the belt...

 

 

 

he can't quite get it...

 

CABOOSE

GO HIGHER, DREK! GO HIGHER! One more rung and you've got it.

 

He prepares to pull himself up another rung, when suddenly...

 

 

 

 

...PANTHER leaps from the top rope and catches the ladder with a missile dropkick, knocking both it and Drek to the canvas! The crowd pops big as Panther rolls around on the mat, clutching at his leg.

 

COLE

What heart and determination on the part of Drek. He won't give it up that easily.

 

CABOOSE

Get on him, Drek! Get on him.

 

Both men slowly pull themselves back to their feet. Drek makes it up first and lunges with a right hand to Panther...but Panther fires back with one of his own! Drek tries another but Panther blocks it, and fires off another hard right! Panther triples up! Quadruples even! Whatever the hell comes after quadruple--OH! But a swift kick to the knee by Drek halts his attempted flurry. Single leg takedown by Drek puts Panther onto the mat, and Drek yanks on the leg once more to hyperextend it. He does this one more time before stepping over with a toe-hold, but Panther flops and pulls himself over to the ropes, managing to grab it with both hand. Drek releases the toe-hold and grabs Panther by the ankle, trying to yank him off the ropes. Panther's trying as hard as he can to hang on as Drek pulls with all his might. Suddenly, Panther boots Drek with his feet leg, sending him tumbling back--

 

 

*CRASH*

 

 

AND CAUSING HIM TO HIT HIS HEAD ON THE LADDER!!!! The crowd pops as Panther extends his leg to get some feeling into it, while Drek holds the back of his head in frustration. Panther begins to make it back up to a standing position, but Drek runs forward and gives him a vicious sweeping kick to the back of his leg. As Panther falls onto his hands and knees, Drek picks up a nearby ladder. He holds it up over his head…..and simply drops it onto Panther’s spine!

 

“CRACK!”

 

The sound of the steel ladder smacking against Panther’s back echoes throughout the entire arena!

 

CABOOSE

There we go. Not only is Panther’s leg hurting him, but now he can worry about his back too!

 

With a smile, Drek picks the ladder up off the mat. After propping the ladder up near the turnbuckle, Drek then drags Panther near that same corner. He slowly scales the turnbuckle until he’s on the top rope. Standing behind the vertically-positioned ladder now, Drek takes his time to measure it in relation to Panther’s body. He then finally jumps off…..with his momentum pushing the folded up ladder in front of him…….AND THEY BOTH FALL ONTO PANTHER’S BODY! Drek rolls along with the move, and stands up on his knees, triumphantly holding his arms out for the crowd, as Panther rolls around the mat clutching at his ribs.

 

COACH

And Drek Stone already becoming innovative with that ladder.

 

CABOOSE

Do you see the dedication in Drek’s eyes tonight? Nothing will stop him. He will shatter Panther into pieces tonight with that ladder. He does not care!

 

With an arrogant grin, Drek gets back up to his feet and stares at Panther flailing about the ring in pain. He folds the ladder up again and props it up in the corner once more. With bad intentions racing in his mind, Drek doesn’t allow Panther the opportunity to make it up under his own power. He pulls him off the mat by his hair and quickly grabs his arm. With a hard pull, he irish-whips him into the ladder……NO! PANTHER REVERSES IT! AND DREK GOES BOUNCING OFF THE STEEL LADDER! The force of the move sends him hurtling back, and Panther’s ready to meet him! He picks him up in a spine buster position…..runs forward…..AND SMASHES HIS BODY AGAINST THE LADDER WITH A SPINEBUSTER! The fans explode as Drek slowly crumples down to the mat!

 

COACH

Now THAT was a spine buster!

 

COLE

You can talk all you want about how much Drek Stone wants this title shot. But Panther may want it just that much more!

 

Seeing that Drek is finally down on the mat, Panther grabs the nearby ladder and sets it up underneath the hanging contract. However, Panther notices that Drek Stone is starting to use his arms to pick himself up, so he runs forward and whacks him in the chest with a well-placed kick. The force of the shot sends Drek rolling to the outside of the ring. The fans loudly applaud as Panther looks up at the contract flailing about in the wind…..yes, for some unknown reason, there is wind in the arena. He begins to inch his way up the ladder, coming ever so closer to that elusive title shot. First rung……

 

…..second rung….

 

…..third rung…….

 

Meanwhile, outside the ring, Drek painfully makes his way back up to his feet and sees Panther eagerly climbing the ladder in the ring. He dashes onto the apron and does his best to quickly climb up the turnbuckle.

 

…..fourth rung….

 

…..fifth rung……

 

…..Panther reaches up for the contract…..

 

….but Drek stops him by jumping off with a missile dropkick INTO THE LADDER!! The ladder begins to slowly fall, forcing Panther to fall along with it - and unfortunately causing him to crotch himself on the top rope!

 

COACH

OUCH!

 

CABOOSE

Now that’s a missile dropkick! Not that amateur garbage we saw Panther do earlier!

 

The fans groan at Panther’s predicament, but Drek just laughs. He walks towards the ladder, folds it up, props it up on his shoulder like a battering ram - and runs at Panther, hitting him in the head with the ladder! The power of the blow immediately causes Panther to fall onto the arena floor! Drek, realizing that this could be his time to end the match, quickly sets the ladder up underneath the contract. Giving a quick glance at Panther to make sure he’s still outside the ring, Drek begins making his ascension up towards his chance at championship gold. First rung….

 

….second rung….

COLE

Could this finally be it?!

 

 

….third rung……

 

 

….fourth rung……

 

 

CABOOSE

Hoff and Drek Stone in November! Imagine the buyrate!

 

 

….fifth rung……

 

 

COLE

Drek is there! The contract is within his grasp!

 

 

He reaches up……

 

But Panther suddenly clutches his arms around Drek’s waist. Drek, with a look of shock, tries to break the grasp, but Panther’s got a good hold. He moves himself up to the first rung to get a better position, but then jumps off……HITTING DREK STONE WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX OFF OF THE LADDER!

 

COACH

Whoa!

 

CABOOSE

Oh god! Did you see the way Drek’s head bounced off the mat?!

 

The building erupts in cheers after the move as both men slowly roll around the ring in pain. The move seems to have tweaked Panther’s leg again somewhat, so he makes an effort to flex it back and forth to get feeling back into it. Not wanting to waste this opportunity, Panther summons the strength to hobble himself back up to one leg. He looks at the ladder, studies it for a moment, but then folds it up, choosing not to climb it at this time. He props the ladder up against the top rope, one end lying on the rope and the other end reaching the mat. Seeing that Drek is on his hands and knees trying to get up, Panther does the humane thing by helping him and picking him up by the back of the head. However, once he gets Drek up, he gives him a nasty right hand to the face. He fires back with another shot. And another. And a fourth blow.

 

COACH

Drek’s really reeling now! He looks ready to fall!

 

Just when Drek looks about to fall back, Panther grabs him around the waist. He then lifts him up……and BRINGS HIM OVER WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX ONTO THE PROPPED UP LADDER!!! As Drek’s bones rattle inside his body, he lets out a loud scream of pain and rolls back onto the mat.

 

“PANTH-ER!”

 

“PANTH-ER!”

 

CABOOSE

Oh my god.

 

COLE

The pain that must be going through Drek Stone’s body right now!

 

Panther lets out a loud scream to the crowd, and turns his attention back to Drek. He sits on top of his chest and begins peppering him with lefts and rights to the face. He gets off Stone’s body and starts laying in a wide series of stomps into Drek’s midsection. The fans count along with each one as Panther continues to lash out with nasty kicks to Drek.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

FIVE!

 

SIX!

 

SEVEN!

 

EIGHT!

 

NINE!

 

TEN!

 

The fans explode with another series of cheers after the tenth stomp, but Panther hasn’t had enough. He picks Drek back up off the floor by his hair and throws him into the corner. He steps back…..and then charges forward with an avalanche splash! But Drek, at the last moment, manages to get out of the way! Panther, confused for a moment, turns around, but gets a quick boot to the stomach.

 

CABOOSE

Here we go! Drek! Hit this! You have to!

 

Drek grabs him into a DDT position, trying to stop Panther from attempting to squirm out of the move. Drek suddenly jumps up for the STONECUTTER…..but Panther ducks down and hits him with a LOW BLOW! Drek winces heavily in pain, allowing Panther to jump up and hit Drek with the PANTHER CUTTER!!!

 

CABOOSE

NO!!

 

COACH

THAT’S IT!! THE PANTHER CUTTER!! OUT OF NOWHERE!!

 

The fans go crazy as Drek flops down to the mat and rolls out of the ring! Panther begins using the ring ropes to pull himself up as the fans start clapping heavily for him to grab the ladder. Panther, not wasting one moment, sets the ladder up right underneath the contract. He then starts to climb, with the fans wildly cheering him the entire way.

 

Panther’s on the first rung!!

 

 

Second rung!!

 

 

CABOOSE

I can’t believe this! This can’t be happening!

 

 

Third!!

 

 

COACH

This is Panther’s fate! This is his to capture!

 

 

Fourth!!

 

 

 

Fifth!!

 

 

COLE

PANTHER’S NOW ON THE SIXTH RUNG!!

 

 

 

HE REACHES UP TO GRAB THE CONTRACT…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……BUT DREK SOMEHOW MANAGES TO PUSH THE LADDER OUT FROM UNDERNEATH PANTHER! But Panther reaches up and grabs onto the ceiling rope holding the contract! The ladder hurtles down to the mat, but Panther’s left hanging in mid-air!

 

COACH

Uh-oh. This can’t be good.

 

CABOOSE

Why, what the hell would ever give you that opinion?

 

The fans gasp as Panther starts swinging back and forth. Cursing angrily under his breath, Drek sets the ladder up near Panther’s body and starts climbing it as quickly as possible. Panther’s trying to steady his body so he could get a good grasp of the contract, but despite his attempts, he continues swinging.

 

Now Drek’s on the second rung!

 

The third rung!

 

The fourth!

 

 

 

COLE

What is Drek Stone getting ready to do here?

 

 

 

The fifth!

 

 

 

Standing near Panther’s hanging body, Drek waits for Panther’s legs to swing near his body. After a moment, they finally do. Drek catches the legs of Panther around his head and suddenly holds him up in a power bomb position. With a look of horror, Panther tries reaching up to grab the contract as quickly as possible, but it’s too late! Drek jumps off the ladder…….BRINGING PANTHER DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A POWERBOMB OFF THE LADDER!!!

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

COLE

OH MY GOD!

 

COACH

These fans are absolutely right!!

 

CABOOSE

What did I tell you two? What did I tell everyone at home?! Drek Stone will break Panther in half tonight if he has to!

 

Both men collapse onto the mat, as the fans get out of their seats and start cheering the efforts in the ring. After a few moments of resting for both men, Drek finally gets the strength to roll over onto his knees. However, it’s easy to see just how wounded he is at this point. With a look of anguish on his face, Drek at last gets up to his feet, yet clutching at his stomach noticeably. He staggers over to the ladder and slowly folds it up, allowing it to then fall back onto the mat. Meanwhile, Panther slowly starts to stir in the ring, rolling himself over onto his chest. Struggling pretty heavily, Panther takes a while to finally make it up to one knee. At this point, Drek grabs him by the neck and holds him in a DDT position. Panther makes a vain attempt to get out of the hold, but he just doesn’t have the strength. Drek then jumps up……AND GIVES PANTHER A STONECUTTER RIGHT ONTO THE STEEL LADDER! With absolutely nothing to hold onto, Panther goes face and chest-first right onto the ladder!

 

CABOOSE

That’s it! This one is OVER! IT’S OVER!

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

“DREK STONE SUCKS!”

 

With a sadistic smile on his face, Drek shoots a glare on Panther, who is still completely laid out on the ladder. Stone then rolls to the outside and grabs one of the ladders that have been propped against the ringside barricades. He slides the ladder into the ring and follows after it. Drek pulls Panther’s body - and the ladder underneath it - towards a nearby turnbuckle. With Panther laying on top of one ladder, Drek takes the other ladder and puts it on top of Panther’s body.

 

COACH

Something tells me this couldn’t be leading to anything good either.

 

CABOOSE

Well Coach, you’re just on fire with these predictions tonight.

 

With his opponent sandwiched between two ladders, Drek starts scaling the turnbuckle until he gets to the top rope. He looks out at the crowd for a moment and arrogantly pounds his chest, receiving a wide series of jeers in return. He takes one more second to brace himself, then jumps off with a MOONSAULT….ONTO BOTH THE LADDER AND PANTHER’S BODY!! With a loud scream, Drek rolls onto his stomach and starts kicking his legs against the mat furiously.

 

COLE

Wow! What athleticism that move took!

 

COACH

Panther is just out cold!

 

Meanwhile, despite their distaste for Drek, the fans get onto their feet once again and start to applaud. Finally, after letting the overwhelming pain calm somewhat, Drek uses the middle rope to pull himself back up to his feet. With Panther out cold in between the two ladders, Drek grabs the top ladder off Panther and sets it up underneath the contract. With pain racking his body with every step, Drek tries to scale the ladder towards the title shot, but he’s forced to do it rather slowly.

 

 

First rung…

 

 

Much to the encouragement of the crowd, Panther manages to gingerly roll off the ladder his body was laying on.

 

 

CABOOSE

Doesn’t this guy ever give up?

 

 

Drek climbs up to the second rung….

 

 

Panther gradually crawls towards the opposite side of Drek’s ladder.

 

 

Drek climbs to the third rung…..

 

 

Panther uses the ladder’s steps to pull himself up to the first rung.

 

 

COLE

Could this become a race to the contract?

 

COACH

If it does, Drek looks just a little closer right now.

 

 

Drek gets to the fourth rung…….

 

 

Panther gets up to the second rung.

 

 

Drek winds up climbing to the fifth step, while Panther gets onto the third one!

 

 

With a burst of vigor, Drek gets to the sixth rung!

 

 

He reaches up…..

 

…..

 

….AND GRABS THE CONTRACT!

 

CABOOSE

YES!!!!!

 

 

 

NOOOOOO! Panther gives him a hard punch to the stomach! Drek doubles over in pain as Panther gets up to the fifth rung! Drek rears back a little and hits Panther with a right hand to the face. Panther reels back after the shot, but comes back with his own blow! They both exchange looks of anger, then start fist fighting on top of the ladder! Panther gets the advantage by landing three consecutive punches to the face of Drek Stone. With Drek wavering, Panther grabs him from underneath the arm. He then JUMPS OFF THE LADDER WITH A HIPTOSS……SENDING DREK STONE RIGHT INTO THE LADDER STILL LAYING ON THE MAT!!! The arena absolutely bursts into a rowdy series of cheers as Drek starts shaking violently in the ring.

 

CABOOSE

NO!!!

 

COLE

Did you HEAR the cracking sound as Drek Stone hit that ladder?!

 

CABOOSE

That is a real human being! HOW COULD PANTHER DO THAT?!

 

Drek then forces himself to roll to the outside of the ring. Gasping for air, Drek grabs his ribs but nothing seems to be relieving him from his pain. Panther looks at Drek flailing helplessly on the arena floor, but then turns his attention back to the ladder. He begins to slowly climb up steps towards the contract hanging high above the ring.

 

First rung….

 

 

Second rung…..

 

 

Third rung….

 

 

COLE

Panther is coming SO, SO close to winning this thing.

 

 

“PANTHER! PANTHER!”

 

 

Fourth rung…..

 

COACH

Drek is still outside the ring! He’s not getting up anytime soon!

 

CABOOSE

That’s not true! That CAN’T be true!

 

 

Fifth rung…

 

 

 

Sixth rung….

 

 

Panther is now within reach of the title shot contract! The fans start pleading for Panther to reach up and grab the slip of paper.

 

 

COACH

Come on, Panther. You can do it! This is your destiny!

 

 

Panther picks his arm up……

 

 

…..but then suddenly lowers it. He looks out at the crowd for a second, who are confused as to why Panther would just stop reaching up. Panther then looks at Drek Stone who is still down on the arena floor. He stares at him for a moment and the cheers in the building slowly start to rise as the fans begin to realize what Panther may have in store.

 

 

COLE

Wait, what is Panther doing?

 

CABOOSE

He couldn’t possibly be that stupid. He really couldn’t.

 

 

Panther begins climbing up the ladder once again.

 

 

Seventh rung…..

 

 

…..

 

 

…..Panther is on top of the ladder!!

 

 

COACH

Panther, you’re a little too high now. What are you doing….?

 

 

Taking a deep breath, he looks out at the crowd, whose cheers have now literally reached a fever-pitch. Finally, after stalling for a moment, Panther jumps off the ladder……TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!!! AND HE CONNECTS ON DREK STONE WITH A FROG SPLASH!!!

 

COACH

WOW!!!!

 

COLE

I DON’T BELIEVE THAT!!

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

The crowd in the building start going insane, as both men lay lifelessly on the arena floor!

 

“PANTH-ER!”

 

*CLAP CLAP*

 

“PANTH-ER!”

 

*CLAP CLAP*

 

COLE

Did I just see what I think I did?!

 

COACH

Simply amazing! Just unbelievable!

 

Several clips of that amazing frog-splash are shown on the OAOAST AngleTron, as both men remain outside the ring. Suddenly, more cheers start to rise up from the crowd as Leon Rodez comes running down to the ring!

 

COACH

Leon Rodez?!

 

CABOOSE

What the hell is he doing here?!

 

He slides into the ring and walks towards the ladder laying down on the mat. He props the ladder up against one of the corners, but then walks over to the one that’s still vertical. He moves it until it’s right underneath the contract. He begins to quickly climb up the rungs!

 

 

First rung….

 

 

Second rung….

 

 

CABOOSE

What is this?!

 

COLE

Remember what Watts said?! The first person to grab this contract gets the title shot! He didn’t say it HAD to be Panther or Drek Stone.

 

 

Third rung……

 

 

Fourth rung……

 

 

CABOOSE

Come on. Don’t let THIS happen!

 

 

But someone else is running down to ringside! It’s……it’s the Blurricane!

 

 

Fifth rung…..

 

 

The Blurricane slides into the ring!

 

 

Sixth rung….

 

 

RODEZ REACHES UP……

 

 

BUT THE BLURRICANE PUSHES THE LADDER OVER!! Rodez slowly goes falling along with the ladder, but the momentum sends him hurtling over the top rope and to the outside of the ring!! Rodez flops down to the arena floor, as the Blurricane sets the ladder up underneath the contract inside the ring and starts to climb himself.

 

 

First step….

 

 

Second step…..

 

 

But here comes Gunner Sharps running down to the ring! Once again, the fans start cheering at this unexpected arrival! Gunner slides into the ring and the Blurricane, noticing that he’s near getting attacked, jumps off with a double axe handle towards Gunner. But Gunner swats the Blurricane’s hands away, forcing him to land onto the mat relatively helpless. Gunner gives him a boot to the stomach, steps back…..AND HITS HIM WITH AN OH-MY-GOD HOLY SHIT SPEAR INTO THE STEEL LADDER! The cracking sound of Blurricane’s bones hitting the steel reverberate throughout the building as Blurricane folds upon impact and falls to the mat.

 

 

COLE

What an absolutely BRUTAL spear!

 

CABOOSE

I can’t stand this! Where is everyone coming from?!

 

Gunner holds his arms up for the crowd, who loudly support him in return. He turns around to look at the contract……BUT GETS A LADDER SMACKED INTO HIS FACE! IT’S THE MAD CAPPA! The force of the shot sends Gunner falling to the outside of the ring! Now it’s The Mad Cappa that gets the chance to set up the ladder. He unfolds it directly underneath the contract, and begins climbing up towards the paper hanging above the ring.

 

The Mad Cappa’s on the first rung……

 

 

The second rung!

 

 

He’s on the third rung!

 

 

CABOOSE

He’s stolen enough from Drek Stone! Don’t let it be a title shot!

 

 

The fourth!

 

 

The fifth!

 

 

Suddenly, Cappa finds himself being pulled away from the ladder in a power bomb position! It’s Panther! Panther pulls The Mad Cappa off the ladder and holds him up for a few seconds, allowing the crowd to gather what may be coming next. Panther then brings the Mad Cappa down with DA BOMB!!! The boom of Cappa hitting the mat sends the fans scrambling into cheers.

 

COACH

Panther just came out of nowhere! And now he’s the only one standing in this ring!

 

Panther falls onto one knee for a second following the impact of the move, but then gets back to his feet once again. This time, it’s Panther trying to climb the ladder once more. He gets onto the first rung….

 

 

…..but suddenly finds his hands clasped behind him in a full nelson position. It’s Drek Stone! Panther struggles to get out of the hold, but his arms are just locked together too tightly. Drek then uses his strength to pull Panther off the ladder, SPIKING HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE RECKER!!!

 

COLE

THE RECKER!! THE RECKER!!

 

Panther rolls along with the move and ends up on his stomach with his feet hanging out between the ropes! Taking a deep breath, Drek struggles to get back up his feet. Seeing that this could be his last opportunity, Drek maneuvers the ladder underneath the contract. Despite nearly every body part throbbing, Drek climbs onto the first rung!

 

 

 

The second rung!

 

 

 

Drek Stone moves up to the third rung!

 

 

CABOOSE

Guys, do you believe in miracles?!

 

 

 

The fans are screaming for Panther to get back up, but he looks to be out cold!

 

 

 

Drek on the fourth rung!

 

 

 

The fifth rung!

 

 

COLE

He’s getting close! THERE’S NO ONE TO STOP HIM!

 

 

 

Everyone looks to be down! Rodez! Blurricane! Gunner! Cappa!

 

 

 

The sixth rung!

 

 

 

And Panther just isn’t moving!

 

 

COLE

Is this it?! IS THIS THE END?!

 

 

 

 

Which gives Drek the chance to reach up…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…….reach up……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…….AND GRAB THE CONTRACT!

 

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

 

*CUE A3: “Woke Up This Morning*

 

 

 

CABOOSE

YES! YES! YES! YES!

 

 

 

The fans give an initial roar of shock as Drek holds the contract up high, but then - instead of booing Drek winning - they get up and start applauding the match they’ve just seen. Drek, thinking the applause is for him, widely holds his arms out for the crowd - which then earns him quite a large number of boos.

 

CABOOSE

How could they boo that man?! Do you realize what we’ve just seen here?!

 

COLE

Folks, it’s true. Drek Stone WILL be getting a Heavyweight Title shot in November!

 

CABOOSE

This is a dream. This is a dream come true!

 

He slowly makes his way off the ladder and rolls out of the ring, tightly gripping the contract in his left hand. With a smile on his face, Drek slowly limps back up the ramp, using his right hand to slowly massage the pain in his back. Meanwhile, in the ring, Panther slowly starts to stir as referees and ring officials rush in to check up on him. The other men on the outside of the ring begin to make it up to their feet as they dejectedly walk to the back.

 

CABOOSE

They should just keep walking to the back. How dare they try to take this away from Drek.

 

COACH

They tried to seize an opportunity. How can you blame them for that?

 

CABOOSE

Oh, I can. And I will. Later. But I will let no one ruin this moment for me! Drek Stone - with the biggest win of his entire career! Forget the Boston Red Sox. THIS is a time to remember!

 

On the way, Blurricane and Leon Rodez lock eyes with each other for a moment, but no action is taken. All four guys just walk past Drek Stone, each of them shooting him an angry glance, but none of them bothering to attack him. Drek watches as they all go through the curtains, and then holds his arms out for the crowd once again. They resoundingly boo him once more as he raises the contract high above his head, loudly boasting of his accomplishment.

 

CABOOSE

Celebrate, Drek. Celebrate! This is your night!

 

COLE

What a match we’ve just seen, folks. Panther and Drek Stone gave you absolutely everything they’ve had - and tonight, Drek just managed to be a little better.

 

CABOOSE

This is amazing. This is simply amazing! Imagine Drek Stone in the Main Event in November! He earned this tonight! He so earned this!

 

COLE

Folks, we’ll be right back with our next match as we allow Caboose a little time to clean himself up.

Edited by Phoenix Fury Legdrop

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WWECrystalvsHoff.jpg

 

COLE

Ladies and gentlemen, it's now time for the main event--

 

CABOOSE

YES!!

 

COLE

And possibly, Caboose's dream come true--

 

CABOOSE

OH YEAH, BABY!!

 

COLE

It's time for our World Championship match: Crystal, the OAOAST Champion of the World, defending against Hoff.

 

CABOOSE

Against HOFF!! The NEW World Champion!!

 

COLE

Easy, 'Booze. He hasn't won anything yet.

 

COACH

Yeah, and if you ask me, he's not gonna! My gurl is gonna roll on through this match and keep her title where it is.

 

CABOOSE

You wish, loser! Hoff is the MAN, and the MAN is gonna take the title back from that little girl.

 

COLE

Folks, we've seen a big change in Hoff over the past few weeks, as he's really stepped up his game. Or so he claims, as, the fact is, we haven't seen him in the ring since--

 

CABOOSE

Since he beat Crystal. That's right, Coachman, spin it any way you want to, but Hoff beat Crystal once, and he can sure do it again.

 

COACH

Really? Well, the last time I remember, Hoff got it HANDED to him for the entire match before somehow pulling out a fluke roll-up for the win.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, well, who won the match, smart guy?

 

COACH

Who's got the belt, Boo-cifer?

 

COLE

Guys, if you'd calm down for a bit, Michael Buffer is about to handle ring announcements.

 

CABOOSE

I hate that guy.

 

OAOAST ring announcer Michael "Let's Get Ready To Rumble" Buffer steps into the ring with the house microphone in hand.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and children of all ages. The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit, and it is for the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship of the World!!

 

"YEAH!!!!!"

 

"Black" sounds over the arena loudspeakers, and the fans go...well, they go. The arena is rocked with some big cheers, and some damn loud boos...but it's roaring as the #1 contender, Hoff, steps onto the stage.

 

CABOOSE

THERE'S MY MAN!!

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, hailing from the city of Minneapolis, Minnesota...he is a two-time 24/7 Champion, as well as the Emperor of the Deathmatch, and tonight, he steps in the ring for the first time to challenge for the championship of the world. Weighing in this evening at 267 pounds, the number-one contender to the OAOAST Championship....HOFF!!!!!!

 

Hoff stops at the bottom of the aisle, taking it all in with a deep breath. Hoff then slides into the ring, springing up and ascending the nearby turnbuckles, saluting the crowd to a good-sized pop!

 

COLE

These fans giving it up for Hoff; of course, last Thursday on HeldDown he showed a lot of class, shaking hands with Crystal at the top of the show.

 

CABOOSE

That's what it all is, Michael1 A show! Hoff is just putting on the soft act. We'll see the real Hoff, the VICIOUS Hoff, tonight.

 

COACH

Ah, I'm not so sure, 'Boozey. Hoff seems a little different lately!

 

COLE

Of course this entire situation has led to a lot of tension between Hoff and the leader of the Thrillogy, Zack Malibu. Hoff has really sort of stepped up, and I think Zack has taken offense!

 

CABOOSE

Well, I mean, Zack is the leader. I want to see a new champion here as much as anybody, but Hoff's got to understand where Zack is coming from.

 

COLE

Absolutely. Zack is--

 

CABOOSE

Can you BELIEVE it, guys?! I mean, next month, we could see it! Hoff vs. Drek Stone! FOR THE TITLE!!

 

COACH

We know, Caboose, we know--

 

CABOOSE

ONE MATCH AWAY!!

 

COACH

I hope he doesn't wet himself. Mikey, you wanna trade seats?

 

COLE

No way.

 

"Black" dies off as Hoff heads to a corner, stretching out. "Set It Off" sets off, and the fans go WILD!!

 

COLE

LISTEN TO THIS OVATION!!

 

The ENTIRE arena comes to its feet as the world champion, Crystal, steps onto the stage!

 

BUFFER

And his opponent!! Hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, in the great white north of Canada, she is the Female Phenom, a former 24/7 Champion, and the first woman ever to hold the World Championship. The reigning, and defending, heavyweight champion of the wooooooorld......CRRRRRRYS-TAAAAAL!!!!!!!!

 

Fireworks EXPLODE as Crystal poses for the fans, hoisting her belt high into the air at the top of the stage!! The fans chant her name as Crystal walks down the ramp, smiling thinly and keeping her eyes locked onto Hoff. Crystal slides in under the bottom rope, then climbs up the corner, holding her belt up again as cameras go off around the arena! The flashes die down as Crystal hops off the second rope, her music fading as she hands the World Title belt to the referee. The ref shows it to Hoff, then holds it up for the arena to see.

 

COLE

This is it. That's what it's all about, the World Heavyweight Title. That's why these two are here.

 

The referee hands the belt to the timekeeper, then calls Crystal and Hoff together for instructions.

 

COACH

Do you believe that Hoff is ready, guys?

 

CABOOSE

Absolutely.

 

The official checks Hoff's tights and boots for illegal opbjects.

 

COLE

He says he's ready. We know that Crystal is ready.

 

COACH

She's been ready all along.

 

The official moves to Crystal, who keeps her eyes locked on Hoff the entire time.

 

COLE

We are all ready...and here we go!

 

*ding ding ding ding ding*

 

The ref waves champion and challenger together, and Hoff wastes no time darting at Crystal, grabbing her in a collar and elbow tie-up. Hoff transitions into a side headlock, and wastes no time in bringing Crystal to the mat in a headlock takedown. Crystal spins up to her feet lightning-quick, but Hoff is up almost as fast, and turns to face Crystal! Hoff steps into a guarded stance, but Crystal doesn't attack, instead eyeing Hoff up and down. Crystal takes a step back, and Hoff steps forward to meet her. Crystal gives an uneasy look before darting at Hoff, and the two lock up again. Crystal gets the better of Hoff this time, pushing him to the corner, but Hoff spins her around and throws her in back-first! Crystal moves to get out, but Hoff stops her with a HARD shot to the ribs, driving his knee into the champ. Crystal buckles, and Hoff pushes her back into the corner and unloads a big right hand.

 

COLE

Hoff off to the early advantage!

 

Hoff lays in a big body blow, and another, and a shot to the face, using his big rights to methodically work the champion over. Hoff grabs Crystal and whips her out of the corner, across the ring. Hoff charges after her, but Crystal slingshots herself using the corner and lands behind Hoff! Suddenly, Hoff jumps and throws a dropkick behind himself, catching Crystal in the chest and sending her down!

 

COACH

Hoff saw it coming! Looks like all that tape watching did some good!

 

Crystal sits up from the dropkick and gets to her feet. Hoff charges from his knees, and scoops her up ina double-leg takedown. Crystal hits the mat and Hoff falls on top of her, unloading some more vicious fists! Crystal manages to shove Hoff off of her and roll to the ropes, scampering to her feet and leveling a wild glare at the big man. Hoff smirks and nods, drawing a cheer from the capacity crowd. Crystal shakes her head loose of some cobwebs, and stalks over to Hoff again, circling the big man.

 

COLE

It's odd to say this, but Crystal is actually playing her game by slowing down right now!

 

COACH

Whatever you may say about these two, I don't think anyone would argue that Crystal is the superior technician! Slowing down the pace will help her work Hoff over.

 

CABOOSE

I'd argue that point.

 

Crystal and Hoff pace each other, and suddenly dart together again, and Crystal transitions the tie-up into an armbar, on the right arm.

 

COACH

My girl is LEARNING!

 

COLE

Hoff's not the only one who watches film. Crystal didn't have much success on Hoff's left arm a few weeks ago, but she knows that guys like Chris Stevens, who by the way put on one hell of a show earlier, have had success on his right.

 

CABOOSE

Stevens and Sommers tore it down, but let's focus on our new champion for the time being.

 

COLE

You really believe it, don't you Caboose?

 

CABOOSE

Why the hell not?

 

COLE

Good question!

 

Crystal turns the standing armbar into an armwringer, sending Hoff doubling over in pain...but Hoff quickly powers out, wringing his arm the other way and flipping Crystal onto her back!

 

CABOOSE

I always loved that counter.

 

Crystal quickly nips up, but Hoff sends her right back down with a clothesline! The fans pop as Crystal lands HARD, favoring her neck. Hoff pulls her back to her feet, whipping her off the rope and catching her with a back elbow. Hoff turns to throw another dropkick...but Crystal catches his feet and crosses his legs!! The arena goes NUT as Crystal tries to turn Hoff over for the Crystalling, but the big man powers out and kicks Crystal away from him.

 

CABOOSE

Nah, not yet, baby.

 

COLE

Hoff's offense is comign fast and furious tonight, but he better be careful of counters like that!

 

COACH

2 FAST 2 FURIOUS!

 

CABOOSE

I hate you.

 

Hoff rolls up to his feet, but Crystal catches him with a kick to the face. Hoff reels as he stands to his full height, and Crystal catches him with a spinning heel kick as he turns to face her! Hoff goes down, and Crystal quickly goes for a cover, but it only gets two!

 

CABOOSE

Now how much will her lateral presses wear him down?

 

COACH

Well he did lose a little weight...

 

COLE

Oh, stop. The fact is, Hoff's got to expend energy kicking out. And at the rate he's USING energy, that could be costly.

 

COACH

Solar powered, he ain't.

 

Crystal finds her feet and pulls Hoff up, catching him with a European uppercut. Hoff stumbles, and Crystal throws a forearm that knocks him back another step. Crystal senses the momentum, and runs off the ropes, jumping at Hoff with a corss body -- but Hoff catches her, and turns it into a modified back breaker, driving his knee into Crystal's ribs! Hoff tosses Crystal off his knee and stands up to his full height, stomping away at the champion's ribs. The fans boo the move.

 

COLE

Hoff doing whatever he can to hurt Crystal! Going after those ribs!

 

Hoff pulls Crystal to her feet and whips her into a corner, then follws her in, charging in shoulder-first and spearing her in the midsection. Crystal doubles over, and Hoff pulls her out and whips her cross-corner. Hoff charges in, but Crystal uses the ropes to leap him, rolling over into a sunset flip! The ref makes the count, but Hoff again escapes at two! Both competitors find their feet, and now it's Crystal's turn to LEVEL Hoff with a BIG spear, sending a shockwave through the crowd! Crystal lays into Hoff with some rights, and makes another cover, but Hoff AGAIN out at two!

 

CABOOSE

Blinded by her woman's anger, Crystal forgets to hook the leg. How sad.

 

COLE

Stop it, you.

 

CABOOSE

What?

 

Crystal gets off Hoff, unfazed by the kickout, and pulls the big man to his feet. Crystal throws a low elbow to the gut, doubling Hoff over, and Crystal capitalizes with a Russian leg sweep! The champ floats over into a cover!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Crystal slaps the mat with her hand, before pulling Hoff back to his feet. Crystal grabs Hoff by the arm and armdrags him over, letting go of the arm and standing up. Crystal faces away from Hoff, and delivers a GORGEOUS standing moonsault to the challenger! This time she hooks the leg, but AGAIN, Hoff gets out at two!

 

COACH

Looks like the tide has shifted to mah girl's favor!

 

CABOOSE

For now.

 

Crystal pulls a groggy Hoff up to his feet and throws a right hand, but Hoff blocks it! Crystal fires again, but Hoff blocks! Hoff quickly gives Crystal a thumb to the eye, earning him a warning for the referee!

 

CABOOSE

Whatever it takes!

 

Crystal grabs at her eye as Hoff waves the referee off. Hoff grabs Crystal, but the Phenom stuns him with a sharp right hand! Crystal fires off another right that sends him reeling! Crystal throws one more, and it backs Hoff up to the ropes! Crystal fires Hoff off the strands, and catches him off the back side with a reverse elbow! Hoff clutches his jaw in pain as the fans get riled up! Crystal, feeling the momentum, whips Hoff again, but this time it's reversed! Hoff waits for Crystal off the other side, and throws a clothesline, but Crystal ducks!

 

COACH

Aw, naw, she knew that was coming!

 

Crystal turns around...RIGHT INTO A ROCK BOTTOM!!

 

COLE

Rock Bottom!! Rock Bottom!!

 

CABOOSE

Did she know THAT was coming?! Because Hoff sure as hell did!!

 

COLE

COVER!!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!! Crystal gets out at the last second, and Hoff pounds the mat as he gets to his feet!

 

COACH

That's my girl! She won't go down so easy!!

 

COLE

Yeah, but Hoff is in control! We might not be far away from a new champion!

 

Hoff grabs Crystal by the hair and pulls her to her feet. Hoff flexes, sending a cheer through the crowd, before grabbing Crystal by the wrist! Hoff whips Crystal away but hangs on, and yanks her back in for the short-arm clothesline! But Crystal DUCKS! The champ ducks under Hoff's bicep and rolls through, ending up behind Hoff! In an instant, Crystal takes Hoff over with a BEAUTIFUL release German Suplex!! Hoff hits hard, grabbing the back of his neck as Crystal rolls up to her feet!

 

COLE

What a counter! Just like that, the momentum could be shifting!

 

Crystal picks Hoff up, whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a drop toe hold! The champ quickly finds her feet and rolls over Hoff, trapping the big man in an Oklahoma Roll! The ref makes the count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO! Hoff springs up and rolls away, somersaulting backwards and onto his feet. Crystal spins onto hers as well, and Hoff charges with a clothesline, but Crystal ducks! Hoff turns around, right into a dropsault! Hoff staggers all the way back into the far corner, and Crystal follows him in! Crystal whips the big man out of the corner, and Hoff hits chest-first, bouncing back! Crystal seizes the opportunity and rolls Hoff up with a schoolboy!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT! Hoff uses his legs to push Crystal off of him. Hoff gets to his feet, but Crystal is up first and meets him with a stiff forearm shot to the face. Hoff reels, and Crystal hops onto his shoulders to attempt a hurricanrana...but Hoff grabs her by the waist! Hoff stops Crystal's momentum, pulling her back up and then dropping her into a SCINTILLATING powerbomb!! Crystal rolls onto her stomach, clutching her neck as she crawls towards the ropes! Meanwhile, Hoff takes the chance to catch his breath in the corner!

 

COLE

Hoff said he was ready, but I don't think he was prepared for anything like this! Crystal just doesn't stay down!

 

CABOOSE

He's prepared! He's ready! STOP BADMOUTHING THE MAN COLE!!!

 

Hoff collects himself and pulls Crystal up from behind, hooking her in a rear waistlock! Hoff throws Crystal overhead, but Crystal flips over and lands on her feet! Hoff lands on his back and quickly pops back up, but Crystal charges at him, running him into the ropes from behind! Crystal uses the momentum to roll Hoff up!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT! Hoff escapes the pinning predicament and gets back to his feet. Crystal gets up, and Hoff meets her with a kick to the gut that doubles the champ over. Hoff grabs Crystal in a front facelock, hooking her up for a vertical suplex! Hoff lifts Crystal up, but Crystal shifts her momentum and lands behind Hoff on her feet! Crystal grabs Hoff from behind for another German, but Hoff throws a reverse elbow that stuns the champ! Hoff spins around, grabs Crystal by the arm, and pulls her in, flooring her with a short-arm clothesline! Crystal hits the mat, and Hoff looks out to the crowd!

 

COACH

What's the big daddy thinking?

 

Hoff points to the corner and the crowd goes WILD!!

 

COLE

Oh my!

 

CABOOSE

We haven't seen the big elbow in FAR too long!

 

COLE

But does he have her weakened enough to hit it?

 

Crystal slowly attempts to get up, and Hoff helps her, before scooping her up and slamming her in perfect position. Hoff steps through the ropes, and onto the apron, and up the corner as the crowd gets to its feet! Hoff looks down at Crystal, then stands to his full height, closing his eyes and looking to the heavens!

 

COLE

This could be it if it hits!

 

Flashbulbs go off as Hoff dives off the top...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND HITS THE BIG ELBOW!!

 

COLE

My GOD!

 

Hoff leans into a lateral press! The ref makes the count!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!! Crystal gets a shoulder up at the last second! The fans go CRAZY!!

 

COACH

YES!!

 

COLE

I cannot believe this.

 

Neither can Hoff, who gets to his knees, looking on the verge of mental exhaustion. Slowly, Hoff gets up, and pulls Crystal up to her feet. Hoff throws the woozy champion into the ropes, and sets for the SPINEBUSTER-- but Crystal slides under Hoff's legs! Crystal pops up and turns to face Hoff! Hoff spins around, and Crystal grabs him with a double-leg takedown-- INTO THE CRYSTALLING!!!

 

COACH

WHOA!!

 

Crystal tries to set in the move as the crowd goes ecstatic, but Hoff quickly scampers to the ropes before she can sit down in the hold! The ref calls for the break, and Crystal, reluctantly, lets go of the hold and steps away.

 

COLE

Crystal was moments away from retaining her title there!

 

CABOOSE

I can't take much more of this.

 

Hoff uses the ropes to climb back to his feet, and turns to face a pissed-off-looking World Champion. Crystal stalks toawrd Hoff, but Hoff throws a kick-- but Crystal catches the foot! Suddenly, Hoff leaps into the air and NAILS Crystal in the back of the head with an ENZIGURI!!

 

COACH

What?! No way!

 

COLE

Hoff said he had some new tricks up his sleeve!

 

COLE

The Hoffziguri! I love it!!

 

Crystal falls to the mat, and Hoff makes his way back over to the corner! Hoff takes a moment to breathe, then looks back as Crystal starts to stir and...heads to the outside?!

 

COLE

What is this?

 

COACH

I don't know, but the fans are loving it! High-risk Hoff, tonight!

 

The fans are up as Hoff again scales the turnbuckles, crouching on the top as Crystal gets to her feet! Crystal slowly collects her bearings, and turns to face Hoff, who leaps off the top rope with a MISSILE DROPKICK!

 

But Crystal CATCHES HIS LEGS! Hoff fights, but Crystal crosses the legs and turns him over INTO THE CRYSTALLING!!

 

CABOOSE

No! Not again!!

 

COLE

Crystal has it locked in!!!

 

Crystal pulls back and sets down into the hold, arching Hoff's back at a frightening angle!! Crystal looks back as Hoff SCREAMS in pain, and she pulls back even harder!!! The referee checks on Hoff, but Hoff waves him away!!

 

COLE

Hoff's trying to fight out, but this could be the end!

 

CABOOSE

No! He's almost at the ropes!!

 

COLE

Hoff very near that corner, but can he get there?

 

Hoff grabs at his hair in pain, gritting his teeth and reaching out for the bottom rope, but it's too far away!! Hoff gets to his elbows, and tries to pull his way forward! Hoff manages to inch ever so closer...then yells out in pain again as Crystal pulls back further on the legs!! Crystal looks over her shoulder, eyes on FIRE as she puts on the pressure!!

 

COACH

Crystal is DYING for Hoff to tap out here!

 

CABOOSE

Hoff's the one dying! Come on, buddy, FIGHT IT!!

 

Hoff grits through the pain, and uses his arms to inch a little closer to the ropes! The referee checks on Hoff again, asking if he gives, but Hoff shakes his head and pulls closer to the ropes! Hoff reaches out for the bottom strand-- and Crystal PULLS HIM AWAY!!!

 

COACH

That's it, that's gotta be all! No way he gets out now!!

 

COLE

Hoff is fighting with everything he has, but is it enough?

 

COACH

I don't think so!!

 

The ref kneels as Hoff raises his arm...but doesn't tap! Hoff AGAIN inches EVER so closer to the ropes, trying to make up the lost ground! Crystal shakes her head, leaning back, but Hoff makes it another inch!!

 

COLE

This is sheer will keeping Hoff going! The desire to become champion!!

 

Hoff reaches out for another grab at the ropes...but his hand slowly falls back down as his eyes begin to gloss over!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no, I think Hoff's fading!

 

COLE

All the pain, all that trauma to the back...Caboose, you might be right! I think he's fading!

 

Hoff makes another limp grab at the ropes, but his hand falls short, and hits the ground, unmoving. The offiical grabs Hoff by the left wrist, and raises the arm...letting it fall back to the mat. The referee raises one finger.

 

COACH

This is gonna be the end, fellas.

 

COLE

No one can say Hoff didn't give it everything he had, but this has been too much.

 

Suddenly, the fans -- behind Crystal just a moment ago -- begin stomping their feet and clapping, trying to give Hoff the energy to wake up! The fans pour it on, but the referee raises Hoff's hand a second time....and it falls. The referee shouts "TWO!" and holds up a second finger, sending the crowd into a frenzy.

 

COACH

One more time and it's all she wrote!

 

Crystal REARS back as the referee picks Hoff's hand up for a third and final time. The official raises the arm...lets it go...and it drops.

 

And as it falls, somehow, someway, it grabs the bottom rope.

 

COLE

NO!!!

 

COACH

WHAT?!

 

COLE

Hoff is STILL ALIVE!!

 

The fans go BALLISTIC as the referee calls for the break! Crystal's temper FLARES as she throws Hoff's legs down, insisting to the referee that that had to be it! The referee simply points to Hoff, who is still clinging to the bottom rope.

 

CABOOSE

He is hanging onto that rope for dear life. Lord, I think my heart just gave out. I cannot believe what we just saw.

 

COACH

Oh, man, you're not the only one!

 

COLE

Guys, I don't think he's going to give up. I think Crystal will have to just plain knock him out.

 

COACH

Boy, you might be right!

 

Crystal brushes past the referee and kicks Hoff in the offending arm, and Hoff lets go of the rope. Crystal pulls Hoff up viciously by the hair, and STINGS him with a knife-edge chop. The fans are back in Crystal's corner, letting out a "WOOOOO!" before cheering. Crystal whips Hoff HARD across the ring, and he lands back-first in the opposite corner with a dull thud, before sinking to his knees, grabbing at his lower back.

 

COLE

Hoff is in a bad way.

 

COACH

Yeah, sad to say -- even for a Crystal fan -- but this match may be not far from over.

 

CABOOSE

Don't say that!! NOTHING IS OVER!!

 

Hoff falls to all fours, and Crystal pulls him up to his feet, but Hoff stuns the champ with a right hand to the midsection! Crystal doubles over a bit, and Hoff, on one knee, grabs her and lifts her up into a SPINEBUSTER~!!

 

COACH

OH MY GOD!!

 

COLE

HOW?!

 

The fans pop HUGE for the sudden impact move, as Hoff falls backwards after he plants Crystal. Slowly, Hoff rolls over, and drapes an arm across Crystal's chest.

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO!!!!! Crystal gets a shoulder up!! Hoff rolls off of Crystal, and both competitors lie on the mat as the official begins a ten count!

 

1....

 

2....

 

3....

 

COLE

This is truly anyone's game now!

 

4....

 

5....

 

Crystal slowly starts to get up, rolling onto all fours, and to one knee.

 

6....

 

Crystal gets to her full height, and the official waves off the count. Crystal picks Hoff up off the mat, and hops onto his shoulders, hitting a hurricanrana into a cradle!! The ref makes the count!!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

COLE

Where did he find the strength?!

 

Hoff breaks free of the pinning combination and rolls away. Crystal lands on her hands and knees, and quickly springs up, pulling Hoff to his feet. Crystal whips Hoff towards the corner, but somehow, the big man reverses and throws Crystal in. Before she can move, Hoff charges and hits a Stinger Splash!! The fans pop as Hoff backs out, holding his back again and grimacing in pain. Hoff grabs Crystal, who is crumpled in the corner, and hoists her up onto the top turnbuckle...

 

COACH

Goin' UP TOP!!

 

COLE

This could be dangerous ground for both competitors! Even if Hoff hits this superplex, with his back, it could be crippling!

 

CABOOSE

Then let's hope it's more crippling to Crystal!!

 

Hoff, gingerly, climbs up onto the second rope. Crystal throws a forearm, but Hoff steadies himself and fires back with a big right hand. Crystal reels, and Hoff climbs up onto the top rope, and pulls Crystal up as well. The fans once again get up as Hoff throws his arm over Crystal's neck! Hoff drapes her arm over his, and pulls her up...and his BACK GIVES OUT!! Hoff folds up and falls straight down, landing HARD with Crystal on top of him! The champion quickly hooks the inside leg, and the referee makes the count!!

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO!!!! Hoff gets his other leg on the ropes!!

 

CABOOSE

I cannot believe this. I can't HANDLE this!!

 

COLE

This match has been vicious, back-and-forth, and these two are STILL GOING! SOMEHOW!!

 

Crystal, this time, gets to HER knees, and it's her turn to look disappointed. The champion slowly gets to her feet, looking down at Hoff, breathing deeply and just shaking her head. Crystal pulls Hoff up, and whips him into the ropes, catching him as he comes off with a jumping spinwheel kick! Hoff hits the mat hard, and Crystal pops up!! Crystal takes one look at Hoff before running to the ropes!!

 

COLE

Hoff is in perfect position!!

 

Crystal springs once, twice...DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!!!

 

COACH

SHE GOT HIM!! SHE GOT ALL OF IT!! IT'S ALL OVER!!!

 

Crystal hooks the leg! The referee makes the count and the fans count along!!

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!! Hoff kicks out at the LAST SECOND!!!

 

COLE

OH MY GOD!!

 

COACH

I can't believe this!!

 

The fans roar as Hoff barely, barely gets the right shoulder up in time. Crystal slowly looks up at the referee, who signals two as she looks on with her mouth half-open.

 

COLE

I don't think Crystal can believe it either!

 

CABOOSE

She has thrown everything she has at Hoff, and he has kicked out again and again. She locked him in the Crystalling, and he made it out. Guys, I am telling you, this is destiny.

 

COACH

But Hoff is OUT! This has to be academic at this point! What else can he do?

 

CABOOSE

I don't know. I honestly just don't know.

 

Crystal gets to her feet and looks down at Hoff, who is just barely moving. Crystal holds her forehead in her hand, shaking her head in disbelief at what just happened. Crystal looks down at Hoff again...and heads to the corner.

 

COLE

What's she going for here?

 

Crystal takes a long look at Hoff, trying to judge the distance, before nodding and climbing up to the first turnbuckle.

 

COACH

Looks like...maybe a moonsault?

 

CABOOSE

I'll tell ya, I believe in Hoff, but if she hits this...

 

COACH

Match over.

 

CABOOSE

No question.

 

Crystal takes another look back, then hops off the ropes, grabbing Hoff by the arm and dragging him a bit closer to the ropes. Crystal nods again, and climbs up. Slowly, Hoff rolls over.

 

COACH

Whoa...whoa!! Crystal, turn around!!

 

Crystal scales the ropes, perching on the second and raising one hand into the air! The fans pop, and Crystal steps onto the top turnbuckle!! Meanwhile, Hoff gets to his hands and knees, shaking out the cobwebs!!

 

COLE

Crystal better turn around! Somehow, Hoff has gotten to his feet!!

 

Indeed, Hoff slowly pulls himself up off the canvas!! Crystal takes a look back -- and sees Hoff isn't there!! Crystal looks the other way...just in time to see Hoff fall on the top rope and shake it!! In a flash, Crystal lands crotch-first on the buckle!!

 

COACH

I don't care if you're man or woman, that hurts!!

 

The fans slowly rumble as Hoff pulls himself off of the ring ropes...and walks behind Crystal!!

 

COLE

What is he trying to do now?!

 

CABOOSE

I have no idea anymore. God only knows what they can throw at each other.

 

Hoff steps onto the first rope, and clubs Crystal in the back. Crystal falls forward, and Hoff stands on the second rope.

 

COLE

A back suplex, maybe?

 

COACH

I would think that's what it has to....

 

Hoff pulls Crystal's head back, and hooks it under his arm. The fans ROAR and get to their feet!!

 

COLE

Oh my.

 

COACH

Oh, no.

 

CABOOSE

He's not....is he?

 

Hoff, breathing deep, looks long and hard at the crowd, before stepping up to the top rope and pulling Crystal up with him.

 

CABOOSE

Holy shit, I think he is.

 

Hoff takes one last, deep breath, before grabbing Crystal at the waist. Hoff leaps backwards, lifting Crystal up...and drops her with a FUTURE SHOCK OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!!

 

"HOLY SHIT"

"HOLY SHIT"

"HOLY SHIT"

 

COLE

OH MY GOD!!!!!

 

COACH

HE HIT HER WITH THE FUTURE SHOCK OFF THE TOP!!!

 

Hoff drops Crystal on her head, and lands HARD on the mat next to her. Hoff rolls away from the momentum of the move, then crawls over to Crystal and drapes one arm over the champion.

 

COLE

COULD IT BE?!

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!

 

*ding ding ding ding ding*

 

COLE

IT IS!!

 

COACH

HE GOT IT!!

 

CABOOSE

HE DID IT!! HE DID IT!! I TOLD YOU ALL ALONG HE'D DO IT!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

 

The crowd goes retarded as Hoff rolls off of Crystal, spent.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest, and NEW OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World.....HOFF!!!!!!!

 

COLE

I don't mean to sound like Jim Ross, but by God, somehow, someway, Hoff has done it!!

 

The referee grabs the OAOAST World Championship from the timekeeper and walks over to Hoff, who is still lying on the mat. The referee drapes the title across Hoff's stomach, and raises his hans, prompting the new World Champion to sit up, looking at the belt in his hands. Hoff blinks, blinks twice, and smiles almost incredulously, starting to cry as he squeezes the belt in his arms.

 

CABOOSE

Aw, dammit, go ahead and cry!! You earned it!!

 

Hoff holds the belt as the referee slowly gets Crystal back to her feet. Crystal holds her head as she gets up...then sees Hoff sitting on the mat, holding the World Title in his arms. Crystal takes it in...then turns, resting her head on the turnbuckle.

 

COLE

I don't think Crystal can believe what just happened. She had Hoff beaten, and somehow he just wouldn't stay down.

 

COACH

I can't imagine what my girl is going through right now...

 

The referee tries to check on Crystal, but she pushes him away...meanwhile, Hoff gets to his feet, and looks at the title belt again, smiling before raising it into the air and ROARING out a victory cry!! The fans go BANANA as Hoff climbs up the turnbuckle, holding the belt overhead with both hands as the cameras flash!!

 

CABOOSE

And what must that man be thinking! I can hardly believe it myself!

 

COLE

What a year it has been for Hoff. Breaking out from the Underground in the early months, joining the Thrillogy, becoming a two-time 24/7 Champion and the Emperor of Death, and now this, the crown jewel...what a year.

 

Hoff hops off of the turnbuckle, smiling from ear to ear as the referee raises his hand properly, before strapping the belt on the big man himself to a huge ovation. The cheers die off, though, as Crystal turns around to see Hoff wearing the OAOAST World Title.

 

COLE

Oh, man.

 

COACH

I know they had a little respect going, but what does Crystal have to be thinking, to see Hoff wearing what was her belt just a moment ago?

 

COLE

I can't even imagine what that must be like.

 

CABOOSE

Let me tell you guys...it ain't easy.

 

Crystal dries her eyes, and looks Hoff over. The big man sets his jaw, and nods at Crystal...and Crystal nods back. Crystal takes a step toward Hoff...and extends her hand. Hoff takes it to a THUNDEROUS ovation.

 

COLE

How do you like that? What class!

 

CABOOSE

She's a bigger person than I, guys. I don't like her, but I gotta hand it to her. Doing that takes a lot.

 

COLE

What a night this has been...what a night.

 

The former and current champions shake hands in the middle of the ring, then let go, and Crystal turns and exits the ring. Crystal walks up the ramp solemnly, looking down as Hoff's theme music, "Black," fills the air. The fans get to their feet one last time as Crystal takes one last look back, looking at Hoff climb the turnbuckle, unstrapping and holding high the OAOAST Title -- his title, as on this night, Hoff is the new heavyweight champion of the world.

 

*FADE TO BLACK*

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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Credits

 

OAOAST PPV Coordinator

Stephen "Back from the Dead" Joseph

 

OAOAST PPV Creative Writing

Zack "Demon-Child" Malibu

"Axe-Murderer" Papacita

The Amazing"ly Zombified" Rando

"The Skeleton" La Parka

Nice "Vampire" Adam

Patty "Phearless" O'Green

Phoenix Fury Legrop "Of Doom"

"Gruesome" Hoff

King "of the Damned" Cucaracha

The Undead" Phenom

 

Graphics

Papacita

 

OAOAST Created By:

"Death by Red Sox" Anglesault

"Crippled Computer" Tony149

Edited by Stephen Joseph

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