KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2006 This week the OAOAST heads north of the border to the home of the Canucks and about 300 versions of the Stargate TV series, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Into the arena we go as 14,000 Vancouverians Vancouverites Canadians are ready for another edition of the flagship show of everyone's favorite parody e-fed. MICHAEL COLE We are live here in Vancouver for HeldDOWN!! COACH The old stomping grounds of my 24/7 BABY GURRRRRRRRRLLL~! *WHAP* CABOOSE Shaddup. COLE Thank you. Good evening everyone, Michael Cole here along with Coach and Caboose at our usual spot in Sofa Central ready to call the action. Tonight we've got a HUGE main event for you, one many are saying should be a PPV main event. In a steel cage, Zack Malibu defends his HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship against the Samoan Tsunami, Faqu. Also the trio calling themselves the Wildcards will also be in action in a tables match against Los Diablos Del Fuego. Speaking of the Diablos, Moracca is going to have a little bit of a warmup to kick off the show. The questionable sounds of "It's Raining Men" fill the arena and the Canadian fans do not know quite how to react to Los Diablos De Fuego as they jig down to the ring. Mariachi rides an imaginary pony down the ramp while Moracca hands his pink sombrero to a ringside fan, giving him a seductive wink. Yes, him. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Mariachi and their mascot, El Oveja! He weighs in at one hundred and seventy one pounds... hailing from Cabo San Lucas, MEHICO! He represents Los Diablos De Feugo... MMMOOORRRRRAAAAAACCAAAAAAAA!!! CABOOSE Is that a blow up sheep doll? COLE Yes, that's El Oveja, Los Diablos' new mascot. CABOOSE Why's there a hole in the bottom of it? COLE As I said, Moracca of Los Diablos De Fuego in action to start things off, taking on "The Natural" Christian Wright. This will be Christian's first match without Bohemoth by his side in the OAOAST and it'll be interesting to see how he gets on, against certainly one of our more 'unique' workers. There's history here, Los Diablos being responsible for Christian and Bohemoth's defeat to Chicks Over Dicks at AngleMania earlier this year which was one of the major factors in Wright and Bohemoth's break-up. *BREEEAAAK!* The well trained fans boo wildly as "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool hits, the new entrance music of the former HI-YAH World Heavyweight Champion, Christian Wright. Striding out through the entrance doors, Wright holds his hands aside and waits in the spotlight lighting up the stage before pulling away his hood and striding on down the aisle. BUFFER And, his opponent! From Raleigh, North Carolina...he weighs two hundred and thirty three pounds. The OAOAST 2005 Rookie Of The Year... "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHHRRRRRIIIIISSSSTIIIIIAAAANN WWRRRRIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHHHHTT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Jogging his way up the ring steps, Christian stops on the apron and disrobes of his...robe...tossing it on top of a nearby stagehand before entering the ring. Mariachi and sheep doll quickly leave the ring as Wright glares across at Los Diablos, with noted distain on his face. COLE Christian Wright seems very eager to remind everyone about his status as Rookie Of The Year, but you could argue that he really hasn't lived up to that billing so far this year. CABOOSE Why do you think he's always pointing it out? It's the only thing he's accomplished all year. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and we are underway, with the unorthodox Moracca skipping across the ring merrily to lock up. In no mood for games, Wright shrugs that lock up attempt away and buries a knee into the gut, clubbing Moracca over the spine with a forearm and making his intentions perfectly clear in the process. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" COLE And there's the chant, starting up early. Wright seems even more fired up now as he wraps on a tight headlock, grinding his forearm across Moracca's ear in the hope of cauliflowering it up. In moves referee Charles Robinson, but although Moracca's a little affeminate he's not that weak to quit from a headlock. Landing some forearm to the ribs, Moracca weakens up the headlock before backing off the ropes, shooting CW off the otherside. Wright shoots back at Moracca tries to stand up to him, but ends up going down from a shoulder block. Off goes Wright again, Moracca rolling over onto his front for Wright to go up and ove...NO! Moracca pushes up as CW goes over, tripping him up and causing him to land flat on his face! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Coming up holding his nose, Wright wheels around and Moracca catches him with an armdrag! Up comes Wright, into a second armdrag from Moracca! And Wright completes his misery by walking into a third armdrag, leading into an armbar by Moracca. COLE Unorthodox he may be, but don't count Moracca out. Los Diablos De Fuego had a pretty good record down in OAOVW and became staunch fan favourites in the process. COACH But they're not the 2005 Rookie Of The Year! COLE Not you too. Wright clambers up in the armbar, ending up getting the arm wrung for his trouble. Rather than work on the hold or keep it tightened up or even keep it properly applied, Moracca instead places Wright's hand on his chest, guiding it down towards his crotch...which is thankfully cut off by another knee from CW! The morality man then slaps Moracca upside the head for his lurid behaviour, before snapping him over with a vertical suplex for a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Roughly hauling Moracca up, Wright slams in a forearm and then a second, before whipping Moracca off into a corner. However, Moracca lands chest first on the top turnbuckle, able to manoeuvre himself up and over the top to the apron. Momentarily surprised, Wright delays his charge, eventually running and getting slapped across the chest for his trouble. Locking fingers with The Natural, Moracca climbs the ropes and tumbles in, taking Wright over by the arm lucha style! COLE There we go! Again, Moracca showing what he can do! Wright pulls himself up as Moracca hits the ropes, shooting himself out into a wheelbarrow position. Catching the Diablo, Wright manages to counter and as Moracca pushes up off the mat Christian catches him in a waistlock. But unfortunately for Wright, Moracca decides he likes this position, bumping and grinding with a dirty smile on his face! COLE Oh Lord. Disgusted, Wright pushes Moracca away and tries to dust off the gay he's left behind, but leaves himself open for a schoolboy rollup from Moracca... 1... 2... Kickout! Scrambling up Wright begins to charge in, but so does Moracca. Thinking himself the wiser, CW ducks his head...but Moracca goes up and over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! Beginning to reel a bit, Christian is backed up against the ropes by Moracca and sent off the other side, rebounding back and taking an inverted atomic drop! Wright instantly clutches his 'area' and in a surprising show of sportsmanship, Moracca attempts to help him out by offering to rub it better. Wright doesn't appreciate the gesture though and wipes Moracca out with a clothesline! COLE You get the feeling that Christian is lacking a little confidence tonight, because so far Moracca who is a predominant tag team wrestler is having the best of this match. CABOOSE I know Wright's had a bad run recently, but losing to Moracca would top everything he's lost this year, surely. COACH Not gonna happen. CDub's smart, that's why he's the Rookie Of The Year and Bohemoth wasn't. Wright continues to favour himself but pulls Moracca to his feet, draping his arms over the ropes... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lashing him with a knifedge chop. Moracca grimaces in pain, at first, before rubbing his nipples. Yeah, and I can't believe I wrote that. Confused as to what to do, Wright goes to the gut with another knee before pulling Moracca off the ropes. Chops, apparantly, don't have the desired effect so Wright instead slams a forearm across the side of the head before scooping Moracca for a slam. Moracca is able to go up and over, landing behind CW. Quickly Wright lands a back elbow to stop Moracca from capitalising, then takes him over with a crisp Belly To Belly Suplex! Making sure not to put too much body on body, CW follows up with a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Wright applies a simple rear chinlock to try and slow Moracca down, but Moracca pushes up and sits out with a Jawbreaker! The whiplash effect sends Christian retreating backwards and into the corner, where Moracca runs in and crushes him with a clothesline. Winded, CW slumps down against the bottom turnbuckle, as Moracca lights up. CABOOSE Oh no, he's not. COLE I think he might be. Folks, if you didn't put the women and children to bed already, now might be a good time. Moracca happily slaps his cheeks, Mariachi applauding him on as he backs up towards CW...AND GIVES THE NATURAL THE STINKFACE!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAA - EEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!" COACH That's wrong. So so wrong. For what seems an eternity Wright finds himself with Moracca's BUTT rubbed in his face, but finally he manages to push him away. Clearly pleased with himself, Moracca skips over to Mariachi who has climbed onto the apron and gives his tag partner a hug. Wright meanwhile pulls himself up, trying to swat away the smell from his nostrils and failing. Out he staggers, into Moracca who performs a simple double leg takedown before floating over into a Jacknife pin... 1... 2... Kickout! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Wow, Moracca almost had him! What an upset that would have been! CABOOSE That's a little debatable, with Wright's form. Both men come back up and it's Wright who strikes this time, a European uppercut knocking Moracca into the corner. Down to the bottom turnbuckle drops Moracca and unlike Wright, Moracca is more than willing to stay sat. Looking down with disgust, Wright is beckoned on by Moracca, the fruity Mexican licking his lips in anticipation... ...and slowly, Wright smiles. COLE Uhm...what the hell's going on? What's going on is Christian Wright backin' that ass up! Moracca eagerly awaits the Stinkface and Wright seems willing to oblige, slapping his ass as he backs towards Moracca. COLE Am I seeing things? Have Los Diablos De Fuego converted the convertor!?! Backing up, Wright shakes what God gave him as he approaches Moracca, eyes closed, waiting with baited breath. Not seeing Wright stop short, tapping his temple. *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE BROKE HIS FACE~! COACH YES! I TOLD YA, HE'S A GENIUS!! Shocking Moracca with a mule kick right in the face, Wright kills Moracca's buzz flat. Moracca writhes in pain holding his face, until Wright then hauls him up, the smile long gone now as he hooks on a front facelock. Up goes Moracca...and with a twist, DOWN goes Moracca! COLE Converting The Sinner!! 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And just like that, there goes the losing streak! Christian Wright picks up a crucial victory! BUFFER Here is your winner... The OAOAST 2005 Rookie Of The Year... CHRISTIAN WRRII... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wait, what!?! COLE OMGIT'SPIMPHEMOTH~!~! The crowd go bananas as striding down the ramp comes The Meterosexual Monster himself, Bohemoth, suited and booted and stylish as ever. Christian panics and bails from the ring, hiding himself up beside Sofa Central as Bo casually strides to the ring where Mariachi is busy checking on the fallen Moracca. Jogging up the steps, Bo enters the ring and stares at Wright through orange tinted sunglasses, totally stoic. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Pensive even to be in the same arena as his former bodyguard, Wright hops over the barricade and begs for the bigman not to think about following. Bohemoth watches on for a moment before slowly removing his sunglasses. Folding up the shades, Bo places them carefully in his front jacket pocket, before taking a step forward... ...and DESTROYING Mariachi with the MURDERLINE~! COLE Woah! Wh...what the hell was that for!?! CABOOSE Maybe Bo remembers getting glitter thrown in his eyes at AngleMania by these two fruit baskets. The crowd seem stunned for a moment but soon cheer on the ultra cool Bohemoth as he pulls Mariachi back up. Moracca remains down and hurt as Bohemoth scoops Mariachi up into his arms, parades the Mexican around, before spinning him out, around and DOWN with the Erotic Awakening Of B!! Mariachi quivers on the canvas, Wright watching on in horror, as Bohemoth now lifts Moracca up. Stooping low, Bo hoists up Moracca, turning swiftly and PLANTING Moracca with a Front Spinebuster, ONTO Mariachi!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Bohemoth has just destroyed Los Diablos De Fuego! And look at the look of fear on Christian Wright's face! The decimated Los Diablos cuddle up to each other for consolance as Bohemoth retrieves his shades from his pocket and puts them back on. And without further motion or word, Bo takes a last glance at the cowering Christian Wright before turning and abruptly leaving. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" COLE I think Bohemoth has just sent a message loud and clear to Christian Wright, who has still yet to accept his former bodyguard's challenge for a match at The Great Angle Bash! And if I were Christian, I'd be inclined to keep things that way! COACH Bo's just a power guy. Sure, he looked impressive beating up Morachi and Marracas, but CDub proved tonight that he's smart. He won with his brains, not just his brawn and if Bo got his match at The Bash, he'd be outsmarted just the same. CABOOSE I'd heal up quick if I were the Diablos, since they've got more work to do later on. COLE I don't even want to know how they recuperate. Bo doesn't take a second look back, walking stoicly back up the ramp as Wright takes his leave through the crowd. The arena lights go out, save for the big screen, which flickers to life with the sound of a death bell. On the screen: Heroic music starts to slowly build as footage from Bloody, Battered and Beaten '04 flares to life, distorted with dust and scratches and in black and white: Black slowly moves over to the corner, shaking his head clear, and starts to climb the cage. His progess is slow now, loss of blood and all the punishment he’s taken dulling his speed. When Dan is almost at the top of the cage, Poet suddenly rolls up! The crowd POPS hugely! Poet runs to the corner and starts to climb up after Dan! Black reaches the top and tries to pull himself up, but Poet slams a forearm into his back! Dan almost falls but steadies himself. Poet climbs past Black and crouches on the top of the cage, with Black hanging onto the cage just below. JR Ohhh, I don’t like the look of this! Poet jumps over forward, grabbing Black’s tights as he falls, and both men hurtle to the mat, with Poet POWERBOMBING Black down! Black is DRIVEN into the canvas with horrendous impact, and Poet crashes down too! Cut to: OAOAST Dirty Deeds As the events of the match unfold, the heroic music continues to soar as a VOICE talks over the match. Coach:"What do these guys have to DO to each other in order to win?" Poet pulls Zack up to his feet, but Zack uses a schoolboy out of nowhere...KICKOUT...Poet rolls through, grabbing Zack with a double underhook, Pedigree style as he gets up...Zack backdrops out...SUNSET FLIP BY POET...KICKOUT BY ZACK...Malibu rolls over and grabs Poet as he's getting up...POP DROP~! POP DROP BY ZACK MALIBU~! THE POET IS OUT~! 1!! 2!!! 3!!! NO! NO! SPIDERPOET KICKS OUT TO A HUGE ROAR FROM THE CROWD~! HE KICKED OUT OF THE POP DROP~! VOICE: Life. And Death. MC:"Listen to these fans, Coach! Listen to the response these guys are getting!" Stunned, Zack has no idea what to do. He pulls Poet over a bit more, within range of a top rope move, as that's where he's going. Zack points upwards, and then starts his climb, with his back to SP. Shockingly, the Poet starts to stir as Zack is climbing, and comes over to Zack, trying to pull him down! Zack kicks away, but Poet climbs up, trying a back suplex off the turnbuckles, but Zack elbows back, staggering the Poet and eventually driving him off, as he goes crashing to the mat. Zack makes it to the top turnbuckle, perching himself up there, but Poet shakes off the cobwebs and gets up, only to be met with a boot to the face! TORNADO DDT...BLOCKED~! Poet hangs on, and lifts Zack back up, placing him back on the top rope! Poet hits an open handed chop that nearly cracks Zack's chest open, and climbs up the ropes as well. The two men trade blows, each one jockeying for position, and SP grabs a facelock, trying to get Zack up and over, but the ex champion does his best to prevent it! Zack hits SP in the ribs, and then grabs him in a facelock, throwing him down to the mat front suplex style, and SP goes SPLAT~! on the mat! Zack gets his balance, and stands up on the top rope, ready to soar through the air. SP stands up, and looks up to see Zack flying at him with a picture perfect bodypress... AND CATCHES HIM WITH A TILDEBANG IN THE AIR~! SP TILDEBANGS MALIBU OUT OF NOWHERE~! COVER~! 1~! 2~!! 3~!!! WINNER:Spider-Poet in 19:44 Both men lay on the mat, as the fans go wild. The third time has been the charm for Spider Poet, as he finally defeated the one man he seemingly never could. The referee checks on both, and Candie slides in to check on Zack, as the fans roar is drowning out the sounds of "Short Stories With Tragic Endings". VOICE: We think we know how its all going to work out. Play by the rules, do the right thing and it all works out. Poet is brought to his feet in the corner by the referee, while Zack regains his composure across the ring, with Candie making sure he's OK. A large SP chant starts up, but Poet does not acknowledge it. Instead, he starts coming towards Zack, limping on his bad leg. Candie turns to see him coming, and steps aside, as the two men lock eyes. Malibu comes out of the corner, and now these two weary warriors are in the dead center of the ring, covered in perspiration and out of breath, after having just put on a great match. The last match in SpiderPoet's career. SP extends a hand to Zack, and Zack looks down, and accepts the handshake, and then the two hug to a huge cheer from the crowd. Suddenly, streamers of various start flying into the ring, as fans are tossing them at SP in celebration of his career. Another "SP" chant starts up, so Zack Malibu and Candie each take a corner and climb up, working the crowd up even moreso and encouraging the SP chants. Poet, his eyes now showing signs of tears, stands in the center of the ring, looking out to every side of the arena and pounding his heart, then pointing out to all the fans. Zack and Candie come down, and each one of them take Poet's arms and raise them up high, taking part in this final moment. A moment that not only the fans, but that the OAOAST will remember. We are watching these scenes and we pull away from them, through a monitor screen. Back just a bit more and turn around to see a figure clad in black, complete with a black leather coat. VOICE: We think we've watched the sun set on some things. Some lives, some hopes, some careers. But sometimes fate intervenes and we find ourselves back in old lands. His arms are crossed and he's watching it intently. And he looks familiar . . . it's . . . SpiderPoet?! The camera halts on the reveal of his face and we can hear the crowd POP. And just then the screen goes black with a bass drop and we see the word ANGELUS fade up. Fade to black. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2006 We return live as the crowd is still buzzing after what they saw before the break. COLE Did I just see that right? Did I see the man formerly known as SpiderPoet/Peter Cone in that video piece? CABOOSE I guess we'll just have to wait and find out. Sweet Home Chicago hits and Jumbo comes strutting through the curtains to a nice pop. He high fives the fans as he makes his way down the aisle. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way down the aisle, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 440 pounds...JUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Jumbo gets into the ring and performs some dance steps. BUFFER His opponent, already in the ring! Hailing from Tupelo, Mississippi, and weighing in at 249 pounds...Keith Jackson! *DING DING DING* Keith Jackson comes at Jumbo, and locks up with him. Jumbo tosses him right off into his corner. Jackson goes right back in and attempts to slam the big man. COLE Forget it! Jumbo looks out at the crowd and smiles as Jackson continues his slam attempts, then picks Jackson up and delivers a slam of his own! COACH Well, you've got to give the guy credit, he keeps coming! Jackson throws a dropkick at Jumbo, making him stagger backwards. CABOOSE Hey, nice dropkick! Jackson gets up and celebrates his feat, then turns around to be met with a dropkick himself! COLE And how about THAT for a nice dropkick? Jumbo struts across the ring, then walks over to Jackson and delivers forearms to the back. He then whips him into the corner and follows him in with an avalanche! Jumbo lifts Jackson onto the top rope, then climbs up to the second rope, and delivers a superplex! Jumbo then gets up, backs into the ropes, and delivers the XL SPLASH~!!! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Here is your winner...JUMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! COLE Nice showing from Jumbo tonight! The referee raises Jumbo's hand as he climbs out of the ring, then Jumbo jumps to the floor and slaps hands with the fans. COLE Right now, let's go back to Josh! The camera goes backstage where we see Josh Matthews standing in front of a door labeled “Mad Machine.” Josh: Hello, everyone, I’m here to get a word from Otaku before his 6 man tag match. Josh politely knocks on the door. Ayane peeks out. Ayane: Just a moment, please, Josh-san! Josh: S-Sure... After not too long, Otaku comes out the door, dressed for his match, including an “RIP John Tenta” shirt. Josh: Hello there, Otaku, it’s good to see you again after the scare at Anglemania. Otaku: It is good to be back, Josh. When I ran out to the ring last week, I finally felt back at home. I watched every week for two long months of rest and recovery, wanting to come out like I did last week to help. Josh: Speaking of last week, Otaku, your match against Asmodai was quite short. Do you feel like you’re up to a long match? Otaku: As long as I’m careful and don’t take too many shots to the midsection, I think I’ll be okay. I waited until the doctor said I was in wrestling shape because I know I’m in for a long battle against someone like Brock Ausstin. You cannot deny his skill, his raw power. But I can, however, disagreee with his motives and ways. That, beside the obvious personal issue, is why I am working my way up to a one on one title match against Brock. And, worse cones to worst, for tonight, at least, I’ll be able to tag out to either half of one of the best teams in the OAOAST. I’m looking at tonight as a way to prove myself. That I am back in shape for an all out wrestling match, and that I can go head to head with the so called “Current Big Thing.” Josh: Okay, good luck in your match tonight, Otaku. Otaku: Thanks, man. Good luck with the interviews. I hope everyone is polite. Otaku goes back into his room. Josh: Back to you guys, Cole! COLE Otaku might be the most polite wrestler I've ever come across. COACH I'm sure he'll be thanking Brock Ausstin profusely after Brock gets his hands on him down the road. CABOOSE .....did you just use the word "profusely"? COACH I've got an intellect; I'm not just some parrot that repeats the same crap ove.... CABOOSE Crystal. COACH MUH BABY GURRRR......HEY! No fair! COLE Up next, it seems like we have that open challenge that Saint Andrew laid down last week after the returning monster, Gibraltar, destroyed two young men in a matter of moments by himself. COACH And he's specified that it's only four-sided ringers...apparantly hexagons freak out men of the cloth. "Bloody Murderer" by Cursive starts up, as the lights dim and a green spotlight fills the aisleway. Saint Andrew leads the gargantuan Gibraltar to the ring. Andrew jogs backwards and cackles like a jackal, so proud of his behemoth. COACH If this guy keeps with it, I don't see anyone in the world stopping him! All of a sudden, Colombian Heat comes running down the aisle behind Gibraltar, and he connects with a chairshot over the back of Gibraltar's head! The big man is stunned, but not downed, in the aisle! *BELL RINGS* COLE He isn't even cleared to come back for a month! COACH The man broke his face...he wants revenge! Colombian Heat leaps onto Gibraltar's scary-wide back and starts trying to pound away at his head with elbows! But, Gibraltar comes to and backs up, sandwiching Heat in between the ringpost and his 500+ pounds of mass! COLE The ring literally moved! Colombian crumbles to the floor, and Gibraltar shakes the last effects of the board shot off. He pulls Colombian up and tosses him easily into the ring. Gibraltar comes in, over the top rope, and drops an elbow. He pulls Heat up to his feet and sends him off with an Irish whip. Colombian Heat comes off of the ropes, gets lifted onto Gibraltar's shoulders, spun around, and driven down with a Samoan drop! Andrew screams for Gibraltar to pull colombian up and toss him into a corner, so he does. Gibraltar then reaches back and CREAMS colombian with a chop! Colombian Heat bounces up and down, then receives another! Gibraltar whips colombian to the other corner, then charges to the other corner and charges at colombian...BIG avalanche! Heat falls to the mat on his face. Andrew climbs up on the apron and tells Gibraltar to wait... ANDREW BIG MAN! Let me get something... Andrew climbs down and reaches underneath the ring...and grabs a chair! He slides it in underneath the bottom rope, and Gibraltar picks it up. Heat's slowly climbing to his feet. COLE He'll get DQ'd if this happens! COACH The Saint is a sadist! He doesn't care! Gibraltar raises it...and Colombian Heat headbutts him in the groin! That stalls him briefly, as Heat connects with a knife-edge chop to the testicles! The crowd noise starts to rise, as Heat goes nuts with stomps to the groin! Heat then screams to the heavens, comes off of the ropes...and runs right into a chairshot so HARD that Gibraltar broke the damn chair over Heat's head! *DING DING* BUFFER Your winner via disqualificiation...COLOMBIAN HEAAAAAAAAAAAT! COLE Winners and losers don't matter now...he could be hurt bad! Gibraltar reaches down and grabs Heat by the throat with one hand. He lifts him up with just about no effort, gets him in the air, and brings him down HARD with a chokebreaker! Saint Andrew then goes under the ring again and pulls out a table! He sets it up outside the ring... COLE What the hell is he going to do with it?!?!? COACH Enough's enough! Gibraltar pulls Heat up and hooks him with a gutwrench. He lifts Colombian Heat over his shoulder in Dominator position, walks over to the ropes....DOMINATOR OVER THE TOP AND THROUGH THE TABLE! COLE MY LORD! The table explodes with splinters, as officials rush out from the back immediately! Saint Andrew climbs onto the apron and cackles while pointing at his monster, who just growls at his actions! COACH This doesn't look good...let's get out of here for a time-out! (COMMERCIAL BREAK) COLE We're back...just moments ago (replay shown), we saw Gibraltar absolutely go nuts by giving Colombian Heat, who answered Saint Andrew's open challenge, a Dominator over the top rope and through a table...(cut back to live action) We see Heat now, unfortunately being stretchered out...I hope things aren't as serious as they look... COACH Yeah...Let's go to some other segment to keep the tempo up-beat. Zack takes it right on the chin and nearly falls from the roof, catching himself with one hand before spilling down to the canvas below! Malibu looks down, seeing that it's a bit of a drop from the roof to the mat. Crystal swings herself on the roof of the cage, gaining momentum before swinging up and wrapping her legs around Zack's head... ...AND HITTING A HURACANRANA THAT PULLS HIM FROM THE ROOF DOWN TO THE CANVAS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH YOOOOOO~! The crowd roars as Zack and Crystal land...but Crystal tucks and rolls backwards just as she crashes...AND COMES UP WITH MALIBU'S LEGS IN HER ARMS~! THE CRYSTALLING IS LOCKED ON~!!!!!!!!! COLE LOOK AT THIS! THIS MUST HAVE BEEN HER PLAN ALL ALONG! CABOOSE SHE SUCKERED HIM IN! HE COULD HAVE DIED FROM THAT FALL! COACH He went up there! Who was the su... "Leon!" Glancing away from his T.V monitor, The Silky Smooth One himself (being the only person on the roster called Leon) looks up from his seat to find those teenage heartthrobs D*LUX entering his locker room, dressed to kill. Or compete. Hopefully they won't kill, OAOAST insurance is pretty weak. Leaving his video going, Leon shuffles around to face his partner for tonight. TYLER We've been looking for you everywhere. C'mon man, it's go time. LEON One moment, 'my cru'. If you were looking 'everywhere for me', why didn't you start outside the locker room with the big gold star that says 'Leon Rodez' on it? TYLER We did but you weren't here. LEON Ah...coffee break. SHAYNE What are you doing anyway? CABOOSE Well he's not here to play poker with us, you twit! What do you THINK he's trying to do!? COACH He can't get in though, Mikey! He can't help Zack! Hoff starts shaking the wall of the cage desperately, but the fans pop like never before as Leon Rodez, The Global Party Exchange, and The Blurricane charge down the ramp and pigpile on Hoff, beating the former 24/7 Champion up the ramp and back to the dressing room! Hoff, weary from his earlier brawl, tries to fight back, but is driven back to the dressing room thanks to the four on one odds, as Crystal struggles to keep Zack down! Hoff is sent back behind the curtain, and the four babyfaces stand atop the ramp, making sure nobody tries anything, watching on as the action unfolds down in the ring. TYLER We get that Crystal took your belt bud, but can you not do your scouting some other time? LEON My wha...oh, scouting! Yeah. That's...that's exactly what I was doing. Sure. Sounding far too unconvincing, Leon grabs the remote from beside his feet and pauses the tape as he attempts to change the subject. LEON So, me tagging with you guys, huh? It's funny because I always wanted to be in a boyband. Well, until I hit puberty at least, then my priorities changed a bit you know. But until then it was a dream. Of course, back then it was still a popular dream. I admire you guys though, living your dreams no matter how out of date they may be. SHAYNE Are you ready or what? LEON Woah woah, what's with the attitude? I thought you boyband guys were supposed to be laid back, mellow, nicer than nice. SHAYNE Yeah well, not tonight. TYLER You realise that Jade's going to be at ringside tonight. In Ned's corner. ... LEON Yeah. Of course. The upbeat body language that usually comes from Leon slowly fades, as he runs a hand over his head. LEON Listen, I know you two guys feel bad but Jade's tough. She'll be able to deal with it, so I know that that "Slaveheart" video deal was pretty embarrassing... SHAYNE Pretty embarrassing!? Did you see what they did!? LEON No. I tried but...no. I heard though. All week. And for what I've heard, Ned'll get what's coming to him. But what I'm trying to say is there's no point in us going out there and losing our cool over it, because that's exactly what Ned's counting on. They tried it on me before. You've got to trust Jade and just concentrate on wrestling. Bludgeoning Blanchard's brains out is a tempting idea but it's not going to get Jade out of this contract and it won't get you the HI-YAH Tag Titles back. TYLER We know. LEON Good. Just follow my lead and we'll be fine. Now, give me a minute and I'll be right with you guys. Fist pumps all round, Shayne and Tyler leave the locker room. And once he's sure they're gone, the first thing Leon does is of course grab the remote. "Zack? Come on Zack, do you give or not!?" "I.....I....can....Nnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaargh...I...Unnnnnnnh..." "Zack? ZACK?" Crystal pulls back, letting out another war cry, overexerting herself simply to try and further hurt the man who betrayed their friendship and tortured her for the past four months. "ZACK?" "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH....I.....I....." "I SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *SUPERDUPERMEGAPOPOFTHECENTURY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* *DING*DING*DING* Hebner taps Crystal on the shoulder, and she collapses, falling forward as she lets go of The Crystalling. The London crowd reaches a fever pitch as she slowly stands up, lifting her head to see the fans calling for her and pointing to Earl Hebner, who stands behind her. She turns, and Earl Hebner takes her wrist and raises her arm up, drawing a huge crowd pop again, and a sigh of relief from the Female Phenom! Michael Buffer stands up, and his normally bombastic voice is nearly drowned out by the joyous crowd as he makes the official announcement. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNER....AND THE NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION....CRRRRRRRRRRYSSSSSSSSSSSSTALLLLLLLL!" COACH MIKEY COLE, SHE DID IT! COLE CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL IS THE NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Smiling broadly, Leon finally stops the tape and follows as we fade to commercial. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2006 COLE We're back on HeldDOWN. Tonight's show is brought to you by OAOASTShopzone.com. CABOOSE I get the feeling Leon's becoming obsessed with Crystal. And not just teenage fanboy obsessed either, more Jonathon Coachman obsessed. COACH What's the big deal? So he was watching a tape of Crystal winning the World Title? So what, I do that all the time. CABOOSE Like I say, Jonathon Coachman obsessed. COLE Leon has his 'issues' with Crystal but tonight he has to put those aside, because we're set for Six Man Tag Team action and this all centres around another of the OAOAST's female attractions, Jade Rodez. It was 11 days ago at School's Out live on Pay Per View that Jade and her team D*LUX were beaten by The Beverly Hills Blonds and Mackenzie DeCenzo. Due to the stipulation on that match, poor Jade has had to become Ned Blanchard's...'slave'. And we of course all saw last week that downright disgusting footage that The Blonds recorded and had the audacity to air in front of a worldwide audience. Well tonight Ned and Simon might have a few consquences to pay for their depravity, not just from D*LUX but from Jade's brother Leon. COACH Yeah, but he still gets to go home tonight with Jade and the HI-YAH Tag Title. Simon too. You think they care it they get a few bumps and bruises tonight? Ned can just get Jade to rub some ointme... COLE Don't give him ideas, for the love of God! COACH And besides that, they've got big Gunner on their side. Consequences, schmonsequences, says I. "Call Me" by Blondie hits, prompting a group of backstage hands to come flying out from the back, dragging a lavish red carpet with them. And soon to grace the carpet is Mackenzie DeCenzo, clapboard in hand, heralding the arrival of the HI-YAH Tag Champs. Stood at either side of Mackenzie, Ned sneers out at the crowd in his typically lurid way while Simon makes a handscreen around his HI-YAH Title. The trio then part, allowing Jade Rodez to follow out. Looking understandably like she'd rather be someone else, the bedraggled Rodez sibling lugs Mackenzie's director's chair down the ramp like the good little slave she has become. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this six man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing team number one...first, hailing from Beverly Hills, California. Led to the ring by their Business Consultant MACKENZIE DECENZO... and, "the Slave you all Crave" JADE RODEZ. They weigh in at a total combined weight of four hundred, sixty pounds. The HI-YAH WORLD Tag Team Champions... SIMON SINGLETON and "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOONNDDSSSSSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH The Slave you all Crave, I love it! COLE How long did it take Ned to think that up? Probably all night while he couldn't do what he really wants to do with poor Jade. COACH Oh poor Jade, boo hoo. Quit whining. She'd love it and so would you. Jade sets the director's chair up at the first post she comes to and tries to walk off around the ring. However, Ned has other ideas, jogging down the ramp and dragging her back by the arm. Finger wagging, Ned points to the floor. Jade again tries to get away, but a contract's a contract and a slave's a slave, meaning Jade has no choice but to drop to all fours by the apron, providing a makeshift step for Ned to climb up to the apron with. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That is repulsive...just repulsive! Who the hell does he think he is!?! CABOOSE Jimmy Rave? Simon follows his partner up the human step, the Champs entering the ring while Mackenzie decides she'll enter too, just for the fun of it. And to dig her sharp high-heel into Jade's back on her way up, causing her to yelp out in pain. Mackie pays it no heed as she's helped in by Ned and Simon, the Blonds and Mackenzie posing in centre ring while Jade pulls herself up clutching her back on the floor. "FUCK YOU NED!" "FUCK YOU NED!" "FUCK YOU NED!" COACH Can somebody bleep that out please? We do have standards around here you know. COLE Oh, we have standards when Ned's getting yelled at, but using a poor young girl as a step is a-okay? COACH There we go with the 'poor' stuff again. Either you know something about her upbringing that we don't or you're just a pansy. "Vicarious" by Tool (and to name a band Tool, you have to be one) hits next and Gunner Sharps storms through the HeldDOWN~! entrance doors. Luckily, Jade isn't required to help this monster into the ring, as he strides down the aisle and up the ring steps. BUFFER And, their tag team partner. Standing 7 feet tall and weighing in at three hundred and seventy five pounds. He hails from Detroit, Michigan... GGUUUUUUUNNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR... SSHHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRPPSSSSSSSS!!!. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Luckily, Jade isn't required to help this monster into the ring, as he strides down the aisle and up the ring steps. Climbing in over the top, Gunner pulls away his facemask and is patted on the back by his partners as he turns back to the entrance, growling away like the monster he is. Mackenzie has now left the ring and takes her seat in the director's chair, with Jade crouched unbecomingly beside the chair, almost like a dog. *GOOOOONG!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." Jade is the first to her feet as "Mama Said Knock You Out" hits and although she is soon forced to kneel back down, the crowd around her stand freely and cheer wildly for "The Silky Smooth One" as he jigs out from the back, backed up by both Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant. Neither member of D*LUX plays to the crowd as usual, instead glaring down at Ned and Simon, who smugly dare them all on. BUFFER And, introducing their opponents. At a total combined weight of six hundred and seventeen pounds. The team consisting of "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT and "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... D*LLLLLUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!! And, their tag team partner. Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLEEEEEOOOOOOOONN RRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" With the introductions over, Brave and Bryant suddenly peel away and sprint towards the ring, sliding right into an ambush by The Beverly Hills Blonds! Lagging behind, Leon slides in to attempt the save, but Gunner is waiting with a boot to the side of the head, meaning Leon doesn't even make it to his feet! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And we're underway in a hurry, D*LUX and Leon Rodez unable to wait to get their hands on Ned Blanchard! It's Blanchard who has his hands on them though, by way of fists to the head of Tyler Bryant. Singleton deals with Shayne Brave while Gunner pulls Leon to his feet, pitching him up and over the top...to the apron. Hanging onto the top rope, Leon avoids a Lillian Garcia like spill to the floor and lands safely on the apron. Gunner takes a moment to notice but when he does he charges in, only for Leon to lowbridge the top rope and send Gunner toppling over the top and to the floor! That allows Leon to re-enter the ring and now pull Singleton off of Shayne, dropping him with a right hand. Next to get it is Ned, pulled around and dropped down just as his partner was, to the quiet delight of Jade on the floor. And now Leon is cooking, spotting Simon Singleton charging in and ducking his head, near enough to the ropes to backdrop Simon over the top...AND RIGHT ON TOP OF GUNNER!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Two for the price of one...and now, Ned Blanchard's gonna get his! COACH Oh no! Pulling himself up slowly, Ned dusts himself off unaware of what's awaiting him. Screams of "CUT!" from Mackenzie fall on deaf ears as Ned finally lifts his head...to find himself surrounded. Shayne, Tyler and Leon have circled The Handsome Hustler and there's nowhere for Ned to run as he tries to beg off, but is denied by a right hand by Shayne! Right hand by Tyler! Right hand by Leon! Right by Shayne! Right by Tyler! Right by Leon and Ned goes down, trying to roll to the safety of the outside. D*LUX aren't going to let him go anywhere though and grab a leg each to stop Ned from crawling away, then drag him back to his feet and send him off the ropes. Back shoots Ned, into the arms of D*LUX who press him into the air, then split, allowing Ned to plummet back down... *SMACK!* ...AND GET BOOTED BETWEEN THE LEGS IN MID-AIR BY LEON! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE YEAH! That outta cool Ned off a little! COACH Oh no, right in the Golden Globes! Weeping in pain Blanchard finally manages to roll away from danger, but Shayne is close behind him and follows him to the outside giving chase. Meanwhile, Gunner has rolled back into the ring and blindsights Leon and Tyler with a double clothesline, sending both rolling out to the floor. Shayne continues to chase Ned regardless, rounding the ring as Ned slides back in and begs off again. That trick isn't going to work on Brave. Or, so it seems, until Simon Singleton sneaks into the ring and clotheslines Shayne down from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ned quickly rolls back out and demands that Jade tend to his 'injury' while referee Billy Silverman finally has control and deems Simon and Shayne the legal men by counting Simon's pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Well, it looks like we've finally got some control here. Singleton and Shayne Brave in to start and look at Singleton go to work! Singleton pops back up and puts the boots to Shayne before turning to his corner, to find no partners as Ned is still concerned with his testicles and Gunner is out of position. So Simon hauls Shayne up and sends him off the ropes. As he comes back, "Showtime" Shayne tries to go through the legs with a baseball slide. But Simon stomps down on his way through, slamming the sole of his boot into the back of the teeny bopper's head and putting an abrupt end to his slide. Stepping off to the side, Simon then follows up with an elbow, following that up with a legdrop. Staying sat, the perrenial second man of the Beverly Hills Blonds/NNMX takes centre stage now as he waits for a little hush in the 'studio'. SINGLETON TAKE TWO! *BAM!* Simon lifts the leg and slams it across the back of the head, clapboard style. COLE We saw this at School's Out... SINGLETON TAKE THREE! *BAM!* And again! COLE ...and it was ridiculous then too. Rolling backwards and to his feet, Singleton backs off the ropes and strolls back, measuring Shayne as he leaps up with a Standing Frog Splash, right across the lower back! Shayne groans in pain, as he's then turned over and covered... 1... 2... Kickout! Picking Shayne back up, Simon now has his two partners on the apron but declines to utilise them, instead hooking "Showtime" and taking him over with a textbook suplex. Hanging onto the head, Simon floats through and brings up Shayne with him, re-positioning himself behind the boyband sensation and dragging him down across a knee with a modified backbreaker. MACKENZIE BRAVO! BRAVO! With Shayne still draped over his knee, Simon strikes a few red carpet poses for any paparazzo that might be in attendance before helping Shayne upright, applying a front facelock. Taking his sweet time over the next move proves a mistake though as it allows Shayne to fire back. Firing punches into the ribs with his free hand, Shayne weakens up the Blond and spins out of the facelock, coming out to arms length and looking for a short arm clothesline. Simon manages to duck over and spin into a waistlock, chained into a full nelson. But Shayne slams his arms down to break the hold, drops to a seated position and snares Singleton over into a rollup... 1... 2... Simon kicks out... ...but Shayne rolls through and makes the tag to Leon Rodez! Unaware of the tag, Singleton is to say the least shocked as he sees The Silky Smooth One barrelling towards him with a clothesline and isn't able to duck the arm before it clubs him down. Back up pops Singleton, into a second clothesline. And then a third. Staggering around, the disorientated second wheel of the Beverly Hills Blonds stretches out a hand for the tag but wanders just short of his partners, back around into Leon who looks to slow the pace back down with a simple arm wringer. Leon then reaches out and tags in Tyler, giving the arm another tug while Tyler scales the buckles, coming off the top with an equally simple double axehandle. Tyler takes the lead from his experienced partner and wrings out the arm, with a vengeful look towards Ned. COACH Why does nobody do things IN ANGER~! anymore? I miss that. Dropping to a knee, Simon tries to lower his base and find an escape route, but Tyler wrenches the arm again to bring him back up and makes the exchange with Shayne. Despite still favouring his back, Shayne goes up top and comes down with the elbow on the arm, then barring the arm back up to keep Singleton at bay. COLE Great teamwork from the trio of D*LUX and Leon here and it seems Leon's calming influence is being taken to heart by Shayne and Tyler, who came in fired up which didn't do them much good. COACH They're not going to beat Simon with an arm wringer though, are they? COLE They're wearing him down, Coach. COACH They're wearing my patience down. With the arm still barred up Shayne extends a leg out, allowing Leon to tag back in. Grabbing the waistband of his shorts and twirling his finger to the sky, it's Leon's turn to go up, coming off the top and snapping Simon's arm like a Slim Jim, Dig It~!, as he drops another double axehandle across the shoulder! By now Simon's arm is beginning to hang a little loose and Leon goes right back to it, wringing the arm...but leaving himself open for a thumb to the eyes by the apparantly no longer Sarcastic Mr. Singleton! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Leon tries desperatly to rub some sight back into his stinging eyes, Simon quickly takes a detour and scampers to his corner, making the tag to the 7 footer, Gunner Sharps. COLE And now the whole face of this match changes, as in steps big Gunner! CABOOSE And you know he's got to be pissed about getting beat at School's Out. Gunner climbs in over the top and measuring the standing target across the ring he charges, looking to wipe out the blinded Rodez with a clothesline. However, Leon isn't quite as blinded as he makes out and manages to swipe Gunner's legs out in mid-charge, drop toeholding Gunner to land throat first across the middle rope! The bigman sprawls out on the ropes, Ned and Simon looking on despairingly as Rodez does THE JIG~! before hitting the ropes, shooting back and driving the weight into the spine! COLE Call That Bitch Bojangles! If Gunner wasn't angry before, he is now. As Gunner claws himself up off the ropes, Leon backtracks and lets Tyler Bryant try his hand against the bigman. And despite a one hundred seventy pound weight difference, Tyler eagerly enters the ring and hits the ropes in front of Gunner, firing off a dropkick. Gunner goes back barely more than a step, unaffected by the boybander. Tyler tries again and this time Gunner takes another step back and taking this as progress, Tyler quickly makes the tag to Shayne, who rushes down the apron. Leaping to the top, "Showtime" Shayne then springboards in with his own dropkick, but that still doesn't put the bigman down leaving D*LUX looking a little confused as to what to try next. Coming together, the two quickly decide they need to stay on Gunner while they've got him rocking and both rush off the ropes, looking for stereo clothesline on the monster...CAUGHT! Gunner grabs both boybanders by their throats, setting for a double Chokeslam. Leon senses the danger early however and quickly scampers up the ropes, prompting The Beverly Hills Blonds to try and come in to stop him. Referee Silverman is naturally drawn over to the proven rule breakers, allowing Leon free reign to tumble off the top with a Blockbuster neckbreaker to finally take Gunner down! COLE He calls that Slam Dunk The Funk...and, I'm afraid I don't get it. But an impressive move nonetheless. Leon re-exits the ring and with Silverman still fielding protests from The Blonds Tyler and Shayne double up, "Showtime" Shayne hitting the ropes and "Tremendous" Tyler backdropping his partner across Gunner's chest. Out goes Tyler, as Silverman comes back over to count the pin... 1... 2... AUTHORATIVE kickout by Gunner, pressing the 188 pounds Shayne over Silverman's head and across the ring! COLE Wow! Incredible strength by Gunner! CABOOSE And they've left the smallest man in the ring in with the biggest, not a very smart move from D*LUX and Rodez. Scrambling to his feet Shayne realises he's outmatched and tries to get back to his corner to make the tag. Problem is, there's a seven foot Michigan monster standing in his way. Throwing out an arm, Gunner catches Shayne at the side and tosses him back one-handed into the Beverly Hills corner, before charging in and avalanching "Showtime"! Unbeknownest to the referee, Ned grabs hold of Shayne's white denim jeans waistband, keeping him pinned in the corner as Gunner charges again and crushes him against the buckles a second time! Gunner is slapped on the shoulder by Simon for a tag as he backs out of the corner looking for a third charge. However, referee Silverman is soon alerted by Ned's hand in the triple team by super snitch Jade Rodez, earning Team Blond + 1 a warning. And earning Jade some chastisment from both Blanchard and Mackenzie DeCenzo. "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" Meanwhile, Simon has taken over from Gunner and pulls Shayne into the centre of the ring, landing a spinning savate kick to the midsection that doubles his opponent over. Hitting the ropes, Singleton then follows up with a Swinging Neckbreaker and makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Straight away, Simon tags out to Ned, pinning down Shayne's legs as The Handsome Hustler steps into the ring and measures the boyband superstar for a driven elbow into the sternum. Ned pops back up for a second elbow. And a third, all in quick succession. Ned then proves just how shallow he is by looking right past his manageress and his slave, into the third row where a 'lucky' woman in the third row gets a kissy face from Blanchard. COACH What a man. Even in the middle of the match, Ned still has time for his adoring fanbase. COLE Puhlease. Rolling Shayne back up to his feet, Ned backs up to the ropes and whips him across the ring, catching him on the rebound with a kitchen sink knee, buried in the gut. Shayne goes down to his knees, only to be pulled back upright for a Side Russian Legsweep by Blanchard, chained straight into a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Blanchard takes brief issue with the count with referee Silverman, before noticing Singleton wanting back in and giving his partner the tag. Together The Blonds set "Showtime" up and deliver a double irish whip, landing double bionic elbows upon Shayne's return. A little flip-flop and fly later and Simon drops tha big elbow if you weeeell, demanding the count... 1... 2... Another kickout! CABOOSE Well, that was a little dumb. Singleton doesn't have nearly enough weight behind an elbow drop to win a match with it, even with nostalgia on his side. Pensive looks have taken over in Team D*LUX's corner as Singleton now wraps on a bodyscissors with the legs, going back to the ribs that have been worked on most of the match. At a loss of what to do, aside from come into the ring and do more damage, Rodez decides on a little fan interaction, slapping the turnbuckles in rhythmically. "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" Jade tries to fuel the chant on her side of the ring but Mackenzie and Ned put a stop to that, if not the chant. Feeding off the energy Shayne tries to fight the hold and shuffles around into a seated position. Shayne then starts to try and prise Simon's legs apart to break the hold, which is stopped by a couple of forearms between the shoulder blades. Crawling backwards with the scissors still on, Simon then tags in Ned who comes in able to pick his spots. "1!" "2!" "3!" A measured Blanchard boot slams into the chest of the helpless Shayne... "4!" ...giving Singleton time to break the hold and slide from the ring before the count of five he needs to get out legally. Ned decides not to pick up where his partner left off and instead brings Shayne back up, grabbing the arm and whipping Shayne across the ring and HARD into a neutral corner! The force brings Shayne stumbling out and into Ned's arms, for another whip into the opposite neutral corner. BLANCHARD THIS ONE'S FOR YOU BABY! ...announces Ned to Jade, earning a look of disgust from his slave, as he charges in...AND MISSES! Shayne avoids the corner splash and Ned ends up running himself into the turnbuckles! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There's a miscue by Ned, who's wandering eye has gotten him in trouble and not for the first time. COACH Jade distracted Ned! You can't tell me that's fair. COLE And you can't tell me it's fair that...well, that any of Ned's treatment towards Jade is 'fair'. "SHAYNE!" "SHAYNE!" "SHAYNE!" "SHAYNE!" Crawling towards his corner, Shayne looks to make the tag while Ned still lays slumped in the corner gasping for breath. COACH It's just a good job he didn't make her wear that schoolgirl outfit from the Slaveheart video, then he'd really be distracted. CABOOSE I don't remember a schoolgirl outfit in Slaveheart. COACH Special Director's Cut. Ned finally comes back to his senses and peels himself off the turnbuckles stumbling around to find Shayne closing in on his corner. A despairing dive from Ned sees him lunge for the ankles. And he manages to grab Shayne, holding him back... ...only momentarily, as Shayne hops up onto one foot and lunges with the TAG to Leon Rodez!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" In comes Leon, to the despair of Ned who tries the ol' begging off trick again, despite the fact it hasn't worked for him yet. Singleton comes rushing in to provide a save but Leon cuts him off, and suddenly He's Got The Fire Down Below with the inverted atomic drop! Off hops Singleton as Gunner now tries to save, ending up being cut off by a dropkick before he can even get fully in the ring. Now Ned tries an ambush. But he gets caught, right hand blocked and retaliated! Rodez keeps coming with the right hands backing Ned up into a corner as Tyler Bryant rushes in, unloading on Singleton with right hands as well. With The Blonds backed into opposite corners, Leon and Tyler give each other the signal before whipping them out, into a collision in centre ring! Away stagger The Blonds, Simon eventually collapsing backwards as Ned gets dropkicked in the back...but he doesn't go down. So Leon says to hell with it and rushes in with a facecrusher, BRINGING NED'S HEAD DOWN INTO SIMON'S NETHER REGIONS!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NO! That should be a disqualification! Just because Leon's into shoving people into other people's crotches doesn't mean he should be allowed to force the Blonds to join his...his...sex festivals! COLE Sex festivals? CABOOSE He's getting hysterical. Shall I slap him or you? Simon rolls quivering from the ring holding his...well, you know...as Leon brings Ned back up, backing him into a corner. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" That's a chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" So's that. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" That too. Resisting the urge to strut out of the corner Leon then whips Ned out from the buckles, over towards Tyler who's waiting to execute a backbody drop on The Handsome Hustler! Celebrating their good teamwork, Leon and Tyler slap hands, Leon then inexplicably breaking into a dance routine in an attempt to fit in with his boyband buddy. Unimpressed, "Tremendous" Tyler leaves and goes after Ned...but leaves Rodez open, as Gunner Sharps manages to sneak his 7 foot frame into the ring unnoticed by The Silky Smooth One, clubbing him down from behind with a clothesline! COLE Man, Gunner completely blindsighted Leon. And just as he was about to break into the Running Man too. By the throat Gunner lifts Leon back up, signalling that it's all over before hauling Rodez up and DRILLING him with a Chokeslam! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Oh, it's over! COLE But Gunner isn't the legal man, Ned is and he's busy trying to fend off Tyler Bryant out here on the floor. Gunner doesn't realise this until his attempted pin isn't counted by referee Silverman though. And despite Mackenzie's attempts to convince Silverman that Gunner is Ned's "stunt pinner", the referee refuses to count the fall, forcing Gunner into action. Reaching out of the ring the bigman grabs Tyler by the hair to stop him wailing away on Ned, long enough for the Handsome Hustler to drive his knee into the gut and throw Tyler face-first into the steel barricade! Gunner then helps Ned into the ring and motions for him to make the pin. COACH Here we go, now it's over! Strolling over, Ned decides to put his own finishing touches on the match, leaping over Leon with an elbow drop before making his pin... 1... FEET ON THE ROPES! 2... BUT JADE PULLS NED'S FEET OFF THE ROPES... ...AND DRAGS HIM CLEAN OUT OF THE RING!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE YEAH! YEAH, YOU GO GIRL! CABOOSE This can't end well. Ned is, to say the least, shocked by this show of disloyalty from his slave and Mackenzie is equally outraged, standing from her director's chair to scream her displeasure at Jade. At Jade meaning right down her ear. The 18 year old understandably backs down, meekly shielding herself from Ned who's yelling at the top of his voice, finger pressed right up against Jade's shielding hand. "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" "JADE!" Meanwhile, in the ring, Gunner doesn't wait around to deal with these histrionics and pulls Leon back up. Leon fights back however, headbutting Gunner in the gut on his way up before taking it to the seven footer with some right hands! A flurry of shots land and eventually Gunner is on the backfoot, retreating towards the centre of the ring as Rodez continues to throw the rights. A big one leaves Gunner staggering, Leon following up with a clothesline. Gunner stays up, but the bigman is clearly unsteady on his feet, so Leon backs off the ropes and comes chargi...NO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rodez falls flat on his face, his leg tripped from underneath him by...well, by Rodez. Jade Rodez. COACH COLE Oh my...did Jade mean to do that? COACH Of course she meant to do it! She's a slave and slaves do what's good for their masters! Looking utterly ashamed of herself, Jade hangs her head and looks away from the ring, having placated Ned and Mackenzie at least as they happily back off. Stumbling up in the ring, Leon turns to see what the hell just happened. But he soon remembers he's not alone in the ring, turning around...INTO A MOTHERFUCKING IMPACT SPEAR!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE GOD HE TORE HIM IN HALF!!! Sliding back into the ring, Ned calls Gunner off. The bigman backs off under orders as Ned then begins to try and hoist Leon's deadweight back off the mat and up to his feet. Still unable to watch, Jade shields her entire head, eyes and ears, not wanting to know what's happening as Ned finally gets Leon up. On goes a front facelock and up goes Leon, down across the top rope before bouncing back courtesy of a patented Ned Blanchard Slingshot Suplex! Gunner keeps watch, as Ned wraps Leon up, legs hooked, head cradled... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Damnit! That stinks! Rolling straight from the ring, Ned smiles his smug smile as Mackenzie rises from her chair again to applaud The Handsome Hustler. D*LUX roll in moments too late, as Ned scampers to safety with Gunner as a shield, smiling away as Jade Rodez is already halfway up the aisle skulking away sadly. BUFFER Your winners of the match...the team of GUNNER SHARPS and the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS!!! Ned is greeted by Simon and the two HI-YAH Tag Titles, which The Blonds proudly hoist over their heads for D*LUX to see. Seething from the ring, Tyler and Shayne tend to Leon with eyes fixed on the rampway, as Ned thanks Gunner for a job well done, while Mackenzie pats Simon on the back, despite the fact he wasn't involved in the finish whatsoever. COLE And look at how pleased with himself Ned Blanchard is. COACH Of course he's pleased with himself! He just pinned a former 2 time 24/7 Champion, a former X Division Champion, one of the so called future stars of this company. Ned pinned him, one two three. And now he gets to go home to a made bed, a well cooked meal and a well scrubbed kitchen floor. COLE That's repulsive! How can you act so smug? Ned Blanchard just forced Jade into costing her own brother a match! CABOOSE Poor Jade. ... CABOOSE What? I wanted to get to say something for a change. COLE Let's go to something else, get my mind off of this situation. Josh Matthews is standing backstage. JOSH Thanks, guys, I've got a big match announcement for next week's HeldDOWN~! I've just received word from the commish's office, next week, right here on HeldDOWN~!, a twenty-man, over-the-top-rope battle royal will take place! But this isn't just any battle royal, the winner of this battle royal will receive a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight championship at the Great Angle Bash! Unfortunately, the commish didn't reveal any of the participants in this match... Jumbo walks past with his bathroom bag on the way to the shower. Josh stops him, causing him to drop his bag. JOSH Jumbo, can I get some comments on the battle royal next week? JUMBO Not now, can't you see I'm getting ready to shower? Jumbo picks up everything, as they both stand back up. JOSH But Jumbo, aren't bodywashes for ladies? JUMBO ...you'd know! Jumbo finishes his trip to the shower as the crowd laughs. JOSH Well, it looks like I'm not going to have any luck getting an answer from Jumbo. I'll have more info as it comes. Let's go back out to Sofa Central! COLE Up next we’ve got the always exciting, always energetic Dance Dance Dragon taking on COACH Whoa, whoa, whoa you mean his DANCERS are always exciting right? COLE I meant what I said The appearance of the holographic Dragon and the sound of Madonna’s "Hung up" quickly cuts off any more banter before it got too inane and heralds the entrance of the one, the only, the dance master himself DANCE!! DANCE!! DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGON!!! Dragon steps through the curtains, looks right, looks left and then GETS HIS GROOVE ON!!! Moments later the aisle is filled with scantly clad gyrating women much to the delight of the male portion of the crowd (and let’s be frank that’s the majority of the people in the stands) COACH Oh yeah shake that thing!! CABOOSE I see you’re looking at the Dragon again COACH Oh har, har very funny. Dance Dance Dragon leaps up on the apron where he breaks out the old school Saturday Night Fever stuff much to the delight of the fans. COACH So why is he out here? Does he have a match? Is it an interview? Come on Cole what? COLE Jesh I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition! NOOOOOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!! COACH . . . . . COLE . . . . . CABOOSE . . . . . Everyone in the arena are surprised to see the arrival of three men dressed all in red Cardinal’s outfits come through the curtains. Two of the cardinals (the largest of them and the smallest) begin to cover up the dancers with blankets and stuff which naturally draws quite a negative reaction BOOOOOOOOO!! The last Cardinal (Obviously the leader, he’s got that kind of poise after all) keeps walking towards the ring with a determined look on his face as he begins to explan CARDINAL X (Ximenez) Our chief weapon is surprise. . . surprise and fear. . . fear and surprise oh yes. . . Our two weapons are fear and surprise. . .and ruthless efficiency. . . (damn) Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency. . .and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. . . (slaps his thigh in anger) Our four. . .no. . . Amongst our weapons. . . Amongst our weaponry. . .are such elements as fear, surprise. . . Oh sod it! Cardinal X stops for a moment to compose himself, then he turns back towards the Dance Dance Dragon who just stands there, wondering what the hell this is all about. CARDINAL X The Spanish Inquisition Team has come here to stop your sinning. . . and debauchery, your sinning and debauchery . . . and your promiscuous ways! Cardinal X turns to the huge Cardinal wearing a pilot’s helmet and who is currently holding a dancer under each arm. CARDINAL X Come on you do it! CARDINAL BIGGLES Do wot? CARDINAL X The part about the sluts, the harlots, the whores you know - quote the bible and all that CARDINAL BIGGLES Ah right, right (turns his attention to Dance Dance Dragon) We’ve come for your sluts. . . erm I mean can we have your harlots? . . . no that’s not right. . . whores of . . . erm. . . CARDINAL X (whispers) Babylon CARDINAL BIGGLES That’s right Babylon CARDINAL X Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! . . .harlots, whores of babylon, sluts. . . blah, blah, blah. Cardinal Fang, read the charges! X turns to see Cardinal Fang chatting to one of the dancers obviously checking out her rack in the process CARDINAL FANG So if youz not got somezing to do after the show maybe yu and ai can. . . CARDINAL X CARDINAL FANG!! CARDINAL X Oh yes, yes. You are ‘ereby sjarged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church by ze flaunting of ze sluts with ze big kno- CARDINAL X That's enough! Now, Dance Dance Dragon - if that is indeed your real name, how do you plead? The Dragon just looks at the crowd with a “doesn’t he know I don’t talk” gesture wondering if these guys are for real. CARDINAL X Confess your guilt!! CONFESS!! CONFESS! Dragon shrugs his shoulders, what can he do after all. CARDINAL X So silence huh? Your guilt is racking you that badly? Cardinal Fang sneaks over to Cardinal X and whispers something in his ear CARDINAL X Ah yes excellent idea Fang, excellent. (turns back towards Dance Dance Dragon) Since you seem to be the silent type we’ll just confiscate these women to prevent you from any further sinning and depravities. That finally gets a reaction from the Dragon as he leaps off the apron down in front of Cardinal X where he emphatically shakes his head, making it very clear that NO ONE takes the Dragonettes away from him - no one. CARDINAL X Alright I’m a fair man. . . a just man. . . a fair AND just man, I’ll give you one more chance to repent. But only because I’m just a fair and just man. . . and patient to boot. CARDINAL BIGGLES No you’re not CARDINAL X You’re right - get him boys! The large Cardinal Biggles lunges for the Dance Dance Dragon but he’s too swift for him and simply ducks under the big man’s arms and then runs down the aisle to help the girls escape from these three obviously insane men. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! CARDINAL X COME BACK HERE AND FACE THE INQUISITION!! . . . COME BACK HERE!! But Dance Dance Dragon obviously didn’t go to Sunday School as he ignores Cardinal X and herds the dancers back stage out of harms way. CARDINAL X OAOAST The Spanish Inquisition Team is here to CLEAN YOUR ACT UP!! It starts with Dance Dance Dragon, from now on no more sinning!! CABOOSE But I like sinning CARDINAL X No more skanks and whores COACH WHAT? That’s my favourite part! He’s been here 10 minutes and I already hate him CARDINAL X We will spread the good word and you WILL listen. . . one way or the other COLE Oh thank the lord, it’s time for a commercial break - hopefully we’ll get these guys out of the ring before the deem Coach immoral and try to convert him CABOOSE Hey maybe we should ask them to stay then COACH You son of a bi. . . Commercial Break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2006 BUFFER “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! THE NEXT MATCH...IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!! AND IS FOR THE VACANT OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!! CUE: “Man in the Box” by Alice in Chains -The fans go BUCK-ASS-WILD!~! as the curtain flies open, and out walks AJ Flaire, a wide smile on his face. COLE This match is going to be incredible, Coach! COACH Yes, it is, Mikey! We have two of the best X Division wrestlers in the business, competing TONIGHT, for the OAOAST X Title...AJ Flaire is, of course, the most decorated and most recognized X Wrestler in the OAOAST, and is widely considered by fans and wrestlers alike to be the best Champion EVER! COLE That’s right, and his opponent tonight is TJ Burns. TJ may not be as established as AJ, or as experienced, but he has the drive, he has the guts, and he has the moves to possibly take this match. BUFFER “ENTERING FIRST!! FROM DETROIT, MICHIGAN...THE GREATEST X CHAMPION IN THE HISTORY OF THE OAOAST!! THE PHENOMENAL! A! J! FLAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIRE!! -AJ quickly slides into the ring and twirls around slowly, showing his cocky side. He then hops onto the nearest turnbuckle, looking around at his screaming fans. COLE In my opinion, Coach, AJ Flaire - while he is an incredible wrestler - is going to walk out of this arena empty-handed tonight. TJ Burns is coming back to a company that he left over a year ago, so he needs to prove himself to the new blood, to show that he was, and still is, a dominant force in this industry. COACH That isn’t necessarily the case, Mike. TJ has proven time and time again that he is a dominant force, but ONLY in tag matches. He captured Tag Team gold with Tyler Bridges, but he never really proved himself in singles matches. AJ has the upper-hand there. Tonight, experience beats finesse, and AJ walks out with the gold. CUE: “Broken Boy Soldier” by The Raconteurs -The welcome back pop is phenomenal! Green and orange strobe lights go off all around the arena. Once again, the curtain opens, and out steps TJ Burns! BUFFER “AND HIS OPPONENT!! FROM DONEGAL, IRELAND!! THE MICHAEL COLLINS OF THE OAOAST....TEEEEEEEEEEE JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!” -TJ walks sternly down the ramp, raising his Irish flag high in the air. He slides into the ring, glares at AJ, and drapes the Irish flag over the nearest turnbuckle. The song fades as TJ turns towards his opponent, their eyes locking. COLE Here we go, Coach! The wait is over! -The crowd is electric and buzzing. TJ and AJ walk towards the center of the ring and begin their staredown. They’re nose to nose now, their eyes never leaving the others. COACH Oh, they’re letting their hatred show right now...this is going to be a bloodbath! -AJ breaks the stare...and extends his hand. The fans erupt as TJ smirks, before extending his hand as well. The crowd applaud as the two shake hands, showing their respect. DING!! DING!! DING!! -The bell rings, and the two begin circling one another, before going into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. They push each other up and down, left and right, back and forth, before TJ drives his knee into AJ’s stomach, causing the veteran to double over. Burns grabs Flaire by the hair, trying to pull his head into his knee, but Flaire blocks it. TJ tries for the other knee, but another block by Flaire. TJ finally leaps into the air, driving both knees towards AJ’s face, but a third block stops them, causing TJ to fall to his back. Almost instantly, TJ drives both feet into AJ’s gut, flipping him over. AJ lands hard on the mat, but immediately springs up, just as TJ does. AJ swings his leg at Burns, but the kick is caught. AJ leaps into the air, swinging his other leg, going for an enziguri, but TJ ducks underneath. AJ lands on his foot, but it is kicked out from under him. AJ lands face first on the mat, and TJ drops down, grabbing his head and arm...CROSSFACE!! COLE TJ HAS THE CROWN JEWEL APPLIED! TYLER BRIDGES SIGNATURE SUBMISSION!! -The crowd erupts as AJ screams in pain. TJ starts to wrench more on the move, but AJ grabs ahold of his hands and begins prying at his interlocked fingers. AJ, using his superior strength, pulls the fingers apart! COLE AJ FLAIRE BROKE THE CROWN JEWEL!! COACH The Queen will be PISSED!! -The crowd erupts as AJ quickly swings his body around, so that he is now in a sitting position. He grabs TJ by his long hair and falls backward, slamming the Irishman’s head against the mat with a thud. AJ springs up as TJ does the same, and the two are at a standoff. The crowd goes crazy as the two stare at each other. COLE These two are showing why they both deserve this title! -The two once again start circling one another, before going for another collar and elbow, but TJ ducks behind AJ, getting him in a waistlock. AJ grabs his hands, trying to undo them, but TJ releases his grasp...WHAM! AJ flies forward, thanks to an elbow to the back of the head. Without hesitation, TJ runs for the opposite ropes. He rebounds just as AJ turns around...WHAM!! The clothesline from AJ sends TJ crashing to the mat, clutching the back of his head. AJ runs towards the adjacent ropes and rebounds. TJ flips over onto his stomach, as AJ leaps over him. AJ rebounds off the opposite ropes, just as TJ dives towards his legs...CRASH! AJ flips over onto his back, clutching his knee. TJ hops up, before collapsing in the nearest corner. COLE In the opening minutes of this match, we have seen fast and furious action, AND WE HAVE TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK!! -COMMERCIAL- -The action returns, and this time, AJ has the upperhand, delivering European uppercuts in the bottom left turnbuckle. COLE Fans, welcome back. During the break, we saw the tide turn in AJ Flaire’s favor. Lets look at the recap. -A smaller screen appears in the upper right corner of the screen. It shows TJ preparing for a superkick. He kicks, but AJ ducks. AJ goes behind Burns...WHAM!! A Huge Dropsault to the back of TJ’s head sends him crashing to the mat. The screen disappears now as AJ whips TJ towards the opposite corner. TJ hits the turnbuckle hard chest-first, letting out a loud gasp as he stumbles backward. AJ runs towards him and leaps, grabbing TJ’s head in a bulldog position. AJ plants his feet on the top turnbuckle and pushes off, spinning around at the same time...CRASH!! TJ clutches his face and squirms around as AJ hops up. He quickly grabs TJ by his feet and drags him to the middle of the ring. AJ runs towards the ropes and hops onto the second, causing him to backflip through the air...But TJ rolls out of the way!...CRASH!! The fans erupt as AJ hits the mat hard, causing him to bounce up into a kneeling position...WHAM!! COLE DEVIL DOLL BY TJ BURNS!! DEVIL DOLL BY TJ BURNS!! COACH It wasn’t done as well as Ragdoll’s, though, Mike...the match might not be over!! -TJ covers AJ quickly! The ref drops! 1!! 2!!! 3HEGOTITNOHEDIDNT!~! -The fans erupt as TJ sits up, obviously annoyed. He shakes his head slowly before cursing to himself. He grabs AJ by the head and slowly stands, bringing The Phenomenon to his feet as well. COLE I can’t believe that didn’t end it! COACH As I said before, It wasn’t as well-done as Ragdoll’s. TJ went for finesse instead of power, and he got short-changed. -TJ pushes AJ against the ropes...WHACK!! “WHOOOO!!” WHACK “WHHOOOOO!!” Two blistering chops turn AJ’s chest blood red, but he has no time to gather himself. TJ quickly whips him towards the opposite ropes...AJ rebounds...AND DUCKS THE DROPKICK!! TJ hits the mat chest first, causing him to shoot up to his knees...WHAM!!! FANS “OHHHHHHHHHHH!!” -TJ clutches the back of his head, courtesy of a vicious dropkick. AJ shoots up and runs towards the bottom right turnbuckle. Without problem, he leaps to the top and perches, like a hawk, studying his prey. The fans slowly begin their cheers as TJ slowly stands, spinning slowly towards AJ...WHO LEAPS OFF!! He spins and twists through the air with ease...CRASH!! The fans erupt as he lands on TJ in a cross-body, landing in a pinning position!~ The ref drops! 1!! 2!! 2 and 3/4!~! -AJ now sits up as the ref holds up two fingers. AJ shakes his head and glares at the ref before grabbing TJ by his long blonde hair. COLE AJ Flaire showing why HE is the greatest X Division champion of all time! COACH A Sky-Twister Cross Body...I didn’t know AJ had it in him! -AJ wastes no time, and positions TJ for a suplex...CRASH! A quick snap-suplex sends TJ to the mat...but that’s not all! AJ holds on and twists over, getting back into a standing position. AJ lifts again, this time holding on for a little bit longer...CRASH!!! Another suplex! This one causes TJ to shout in pain, but it’s not over YET! AJ flips back over and stands. He lifts TJ in the air once again, holding him high in the air. The fans cheers grow louder with each second that TJ is in the air....CRASH!!! An explosion of cheers go off as TJ’s head hits the mat hard! AJ immediately covers!! COLE TRIFECTA!! THE TRIFECTA!! 1!!! 2!!!!!!! 3!!!!! NOGODDAMMITHEDIDNTGETIT!! -The fans boo as the ref holds up two fingers. AJ shakes his head, once again, glaring at the ref. He mouths random threats to the striped man before standing once again. The fans start chanting: FANS “EX-TRA SPEC-IAL! *clap clap clapclapclap* EX-TRA SPEC-IAL! *clap clap clapclapclap*” -AJ nods and smiles wide, looking over the fans. He points to the bottom left turnbuckle... FANS WHOOOOOO!!!! -...Now the bottom right... FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOO!! -...top right?... FANS WHOOOOOOO!!!!!! -Aaaaaand the top left. FANS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! -AJ nods and runs to the top left turnbuckle, the furthest turnbuckle from TJ. He immediately leaps up onto turnbuckle, and stands quickly. He points down at TJ, smiling wide...AND LEAPS!!! AJ twists and turns, almost as quickly as the flashbulbs that are going off. It is truely poetry in motion...HE LEVELS OUT!!! CRASH!!!!! THE FANS ERUPT AS AJ HITS THE MAT HARD!! HE SQUIRMS IN PAIN AS TJ LIES ON THE MAT!!! COLE AJ FLAIRE MISSED THE EXTRA SPECIAL!! TJ ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY AT THE VERY LAST SECOND!!! COACH ALL THAT POSING! ALL THE PLAYING TO THE CROWD DID AJ IN!! -The fans cheers grow louder as the two combatants lie on the mat, barely moving. The ref looks at the two...and begins his count... 1... 2... 3... -TJ is the first to start to stand, and he slowly pushes himself up to his knees. 4... 5... 6... -AJ crawls over to the ropes, grabbing onto the second. He slowly pulls himself up, as TJ gets to one knee. 7... 8.... -TJ is standing! The ref stops the count as TJ stumbles over towards AJ, who is almost standing. TJ quickly puts the boots to AJ’s left knee...another kick...and another! He stops suddenly and grabs AJ by the head, picking him up to a standing position. He pushes AJ against the ropes, and whips him towards the opposites. AJ rebounds...and TJ ducks behind him!! TJ quickly grabs AJ by the arms and lifts!!...CERASH!~!~! SIT-OUT RAZOR’S EDGE!~!~ COLE IRISH CAR BOMB!~! IRISH CAR BOMB!~ TJ HIT THE IRISH CAR BOMB!~! -THE CHEERS ARE OFF THE CHARTS AS TJ COLLAPSES ONTO AJ!~! THE REF DROPS!! 1!!!!! 2!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING!!! CUE: “TNT” by AC/DC BUFFER “HEEEEEEEERE is your winner....and NEW OAOAST X DIVISION CHAMPION!!! T!!! J!!! BUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!! -The cheers are deafening as TJ rolls off AJ! TJ slowly gets to his knees, looking around at the cheering fans. They are chanting his name for the first time in a year, and his eyes begin to well up with tears. The ref hands him the title belt, which TJ takes slowly, his eyes never leaving it. He smiles wide as he pulls it closer to his face, kissing the X in the middle. COLE TJ Burns, in his very first match back in the OAOAST as a single’s wrestler, has defeated the Greatest X Division Champion in the history of the OAOAST! TJ has PROVEN that he is fully capable of being in the OAOAST by himself!! -TJ slowly gets to his feet, just as AJ does. AJ turns slowly, holding the back of his head. He looks at TJ, who looks back at his opponent. AJ nods slowly, before extending his hand. TJ smiles wide, before taking the hand. TJ pulls AJ in, and the two hug. The fans cheer as they slap each others backs, before AJ pulls away and raises TJ’s hand. The two stand in the middle of the ring, as the fans give them a standing ovation. COLE These two gave us their all tonight, and TJ Burns came out on top! COACH WHAT an incredible match, Mikey...ABSOLUTELY incredible... COLE Fans, we’ll be right back. “LIGHTNING CREW!” The opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts up as the crowd stands up and boos. The AngleTron shows a picture of Cuban Wall posing in front of a Cuban Flag and CUBAN WALL written to the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters. Lights flicker on and off in the entrance, while smokes fill the entranceway. The crescendo hits, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. *No chance (No chance) That’s what ya got! (Ha, ha, yeah!) Put up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* A few seconds later, the entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall comes out to loud boos. Cuban Wall looks at the crowd and pumps his right fist in the air, and then proceeds to walk to the ring, eyes focused solely on it, with a serious look on his face. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute T.V. time limit. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 lbs. He is the Muscle for The Lightning Crew. He…is…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall shadowboxes a little bit as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. COLE Welcome back to Vancouver as Cuban Wall is going one-on-one against Thunderkid this week on HeldDOWN~!, hoping to avenge his boss, Tha Puerto Rican, who lost to Alfdogg last week thanks to interference from Thunderkid! CABOOSE Oh what a tragedy that was. So depressing. PRL was SO close to becoming World Heavyweight Champion for the first time, but once again, he got screwed. It’s not fair. Cuban Wall enters the ring. Wall stands in the middle of the ring, and does The Lightning Crew Salute to boos. COACH Da Coach was very pleased that PRL lost last week. CABOOSE If you speak in the third person one more time, I’ll fight you right now here at Sofa Central. Cuban Wall jaws with the fans as "No Chance In Hell" continues to play. He raises his arms on a second turnbuckle, then shadowboxes while waiting for his opponent as "No Chance In Hell" dies down. COLE This won’t be easy for Thunderkid. Cuban Wall has the height and weight advantage. But Thunderkid is a fighter, and won’t back down from any challenge, no matter how much the odds are against him! CABOOSE He’s going down. Big time. The lights go down in the arena again. Smoke appears in the entryway. “God Of Thunder” by KISS starts playing, causing the crowd to cheer. The entrance doors slide open, and yellow strobe lights are revealed. Through the smoke comes Thunderkid, garnering a nice pop from the crowd. TK acknowledges the pop from the crowd and then starts walking down the entrance ramp, staring at Cuban Wall, who has removed his sunglasses and chains. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From Green Bay, Wisconsin. Weighing in at 255 lbs. THUNDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! ‘Kid points a finger at Cuban Wall, who responds with the good old fashioned middle finger. TK walks up the ring steps and enters the ring. COLE A feud has been brewing between Tha Puerto Rican and Thunderkid ever since Living Anglelously when Tha Puerto Rican attacked Thunderkid during his match with Reject. COACH PRL says he attacked TK to get Alfdogg’s attention and possibly get a World Title shot. Well, he got his shot last week, and…hee hee, sad to say, HE LOST! CABOOSE He had the match won damn it! He did! He was going to give Alfdogg the Corporate Nightmare when that no good Thunderkid butted in with a steel chair! It was terrible! COACH I enjoyed it. CABOOSE Yeah, but your opinion doesn’t count! Thunderkid raises his hands in the air, getting another pop from the crowd. Cuban Wall stands in a corner watching this. Referee Earl Hebner pats down Thunderkid and Cuban Wall, and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* CUBAN WALL vs. THUNDERKID “God Of Thunder” by KISS dies down. Thunderkid and Cuban Wall circle each other to start. COLE Tha Puerto Rican I bet is watching this in The Lightning Crew dressing room. COACH Yeah, and I bet he’s getting massaged by Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez while watching it. Shit, I wish I were in The Lightning Crew dressing room right now too. Cuban Wall and Thunderkid lock up. Cuban Wall begins his offense by attacking the shorter Thunderkid with soupbones all over his body. He follows that with a back elbow to TK’s face! Wall grabs ‘Kid, and punches him in the face a few times, and then goes to the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms OF DEATH~! Thunderkid tries to escape the onslaught of the Wall, but Wall is on his case, grabbing Kid from behind and nailing with some more FOREARMS OF DEATH~! The forearms take Thunderkid to another corner, where Cuban Wall punches Thunderkid in the face, and then scoops him up in a fallaway slam position. Cuban Wall runs to the opposite turnbuckle, and slams Thunderkid’s back against it. Wall then runs to another turnbuckle and slams ‘Kid’s back against THAT. Wall runs to a third turnbuckle, and slams TK’s back against that one, and finishes with the fourth turnbuckle, before finishing with a powerslam! Wall covers Thunderkid. 1… 2… KICK OUT! COLE So far it’s been all Cuban Wall! CABOOSE And that’s the way it’ll be for the whole match! Wall goes back to the attack, picking Thunderkid up. The crowd starts chanting, “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” CW eyes them angrily, then whips Thunderkid into a turnbuckle. Wall looks at the crowd, and then charges…giving Thunderkid a MASSIVE AVALANCHE! The crowd groans seeing that. Wall grabs Kid’s right hand and whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Wall smiles evilly, and then charges forward for another Avalanche… BUT THUNDERKID KICKS HIM IN THE FACE! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Thunderkid fights back with elbows to the face! More! More! MORE! Thunderkid bounces off the ropes…right into a sidewalk slam from Cuban Wall! COLE Awww! Cuban Wall cuts Thunderkid’s comeback short! CABOOSE HA! HA! Way to go Wall! Yes! Wall covers TK. And gets two! Cuban Wall picks up Thunderkid. Thunderkid kicks Cuban Wall in his right thigh! The kick gives Thunderkid the chance to punch Wall in the face! Right hand! Right hand! Right hand! Cuban Wall knees TK in the gut to stop that. Cuban Wall punches TK’s face some more. He Irish whips TK into the ropes…and shows off his agility by leaping off the mat with a flying clothesline on Thunderkid! CABOOSE That’s no regular 6’7 footer there kids. That’s Cuban Wall! The Muscle for The Lightning Crew, and one hell of a guy if I do say so myself. CW grabs Thunderkid’s hands, and drags him to the end of the ring. Thunderkid’s head is just outside the ring. Wall exits the ring and meets up with Thunderkid. He gives him a forearm across the chest. Wall gets on the ring apron. COLE Uh-oh. This isn’t going to be pretty! Cuban Wall measures Thunderkid up, and then charges forward, jumping up, and extending his right leg for a legdrop… But Thunderkid MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! Cuban Wall lands BUTT-first on the ring apron to cheers! COLE And nobody’s home! Thunderkid exits the ring so that he can throw Cuban Wall back into it. CABOOSE Oh God! That had to hurt! COLE Thunderkid hoping to make the comeback right here, right now! TK picks Cuban Wall up and beats on him. He kicks him in the face, and then kicks him in the gut. Thunderkid then heads to the ropes, bounces off of them, and delivers a Bicycle Kick to Cuban Wall knocking him down! COLE Bicycle Kick! Bicycle Kick on the 6’7” Cuban Wall! COACH Thunderkid got some mad height with that one! Thunderkid picks up Cuban Wall. He forearms him in the face a few times, and then kicks him in the gut. Thunderkid whips Wall into the ropes---Wall reverses---and then gives Thunderkid a big boot sending him over the top rope and onto the floor! COACH And now Cuban Wall is once again, in control! CABOOSE Just like The Lightning Crew is always in control! HA! HA! Thunderkid is catching his breath on the outside when Cuban Wall grabs him and scoops him up. He charges forward, looking to send TK into the ringpost, but TK slides off of Wall, and shoves him into the ringpost! TK follows that up with a bulldog on the floor! COLE Hey, Thunderkid is in control now! TK picks Wall up and throws him into the ring. Once Wall gets up, Thunderkid grabs him, and gives him a belly-to-back suplex! ‘Kid covers Wall. 1…2…KICK OUT! Thunderkid goes to stomping on Cuban Wall. He dares Cuban Wall to get up and then exits the ring to climb the top rope. COLE Thunderkid looking to go aerial here. Little does Thunderkid know that Cuban Wall has been getting up while TK has been climbing. So when TK gets to the top rope, Cuban Wall is ready, running to the ropes to crotch TK on the top turnbuckle! GUYS IN THE CROWD OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Cuban Wall punches the crotched Thunderkid. Kid is dazed and confused, so Cuban Wall climbs the bottom rope. He punches Thunderkid some more, and then climbs the second rope. More punches, and then Cuban Wall climbs the top rope! COLE Hey wait a minute. He’s not gonna— Cuban Wall punches Thunderkid on the top rope. He then places Thunderkid in a facelock and stands him up. The crowd stands up too, buzzing in anticipation. COLE He’s not gonna…no way! CABOOSE Oh yeah, Mikey! Oh yes! Here it comes! The biggest superplex you’ve ever seen in your entire life! Cuban Wall puts Thunderkid’s left arm over his head and then grabs ‘Kid’s tights. Both men stand up on the top rope. The crowd is buzzing. Even at 6’7” and 285 lbs, Cuban Wall is still able to get off the top rope and DELIVER A TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX ON THUNDERKID!!!!! COLE Superplex! What a superplex! The monster, the giant Cuban Wall just gave Thunderkid a superplex! And the crowd cannot believe it! COACH I think the ring just shook! CABOOSE Yes! Yes! Way to go! Way to go Wall! Now cover him! COVER HIM! Cuban Wall and Thunderkid both lie on the mat for a little bit. Cuban Wall then slowly crawls over to Thunderkid and hooks his right leg. Referee Earl Hebner counts. COLE This could be over! 1… 2…. 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999 THUNDERKID GETS HIS RIGHT SHOULDER UP!! COLE No! No! We still got a match! We still have a match! Cuban Wall is shocked, so he gets up, drops his right elbow onto Thunderkid’s throat, and covers him again. 1… 2… RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! CUBAN WALL You motherfucker. COACH Thunderkid is still fighting! He’s not out of this match just yet! COLE And Cuban Wall is PISSED~! Wall exits the ring, muttering to himself. He heads to the ringside area, and shoves Michael Buffer off his seat. Cuban Wall grabs his chair, and folds it up, entering the ring. COLE And now Cuban Wall has a chair. CABOOSE Just like last week when Thunderkid hit PRL with a chair. Now, Thunderkid is going to feel the steel…again! The crowd boos loudly, while Cuban Wall gets set to smash the chair onto Thunderkid’s body. He has a smirk on his face as he lifts the chair over his head. Thunderkid is getting up. But then Hebner begins complaining! Cuban Wall turns around and argues with the referee, calling him all of the “Seven Dirty Words You Can’t Say On TV” (Credit: George Carlin). Wall motions that he wants to use the chair on the senior referee. This is enough to shut the ref up. The Wall turns around…right into a PUNCH FROM THUNDEKRID KNOCKING THE CHAIR INTO HIS FACE! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Thunderkid just struck! He punched the chair into the face of Cuban Wall! And the big man is down! CABOOSE Oh no! OH NO! Thunderkid looks at the fallen Wall. He taunts Wall as the crowd cheers… But suddenly the cheering stops, replaced with loud, LOUD booing. Why you ask? Because none other than “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTO RICAN has ran into the ring. TK’s back is turn, so he doesn’t see Puerto make his entrance. But when ‘Kid turns around, Puerto BLASTS him with a Johnny-Go-Round (Johnny from The Spirit Squad’s Cool Looking Spinning Wheel Kick)! COLE Ow! PRL is here! Damnit! Damnit! He is here, and he has attacked Thunderkid! Again! CABOOSE That was incredible! What height! What accuracy! What a move! That was a hella cool spinning wheel kick PRL just did! PRL laughs evilly, as he smack talks Thunderkid. P.R. picks TK up, and punches him, but Thunderkid fights back with punches of his own! Right hand from TK! Right hand from PRL! Thunderkid unleashes the fucking fury on Tha Puerto Rican, and finishes him off with a clothesline over the top rope and onto the floor! PRL crawls up the entrance ramp, a broken man. COLE Thunderkid just took care of PRL! PRL is out of this match! CABOOSE Ah phooey! I was enjoying him being out here! The crowd goes crazy. Thunderkid yells obscenities at Tha Puerto Rican, who is crawling up the ramp, terrified. THUNDERKID Don’t you dare come back! You hear me? Don’t you dare come back! PRL is gone from the picture, so Thunderkid turns around… Into a GOOZLE! COLE Oh dear. Cuban Wall chokes Thunderkid with his right hand, and then lifts him up, giving the former North American Champion a CHOKESLAM! COLE Chokeslam! Chokeslam on Thunderkid! And Thunderkid is out cold! CABOOSE Turn out the lights. The party’s over. COACH It’s pretty much the end for Thunderkid. He can’t possibly kick out of this one. Cuban Wall catches his wind, and then gets on the mat to cover Thunderkid. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! GOT‘CHA! KICK OUT!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CABOOSE WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?!!! COLE It seems as though Cuban Wall may have underestimated Thunderkid’s will to fight! CABOOSE WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? ATTACK! ATTACK!!! KILL YOUR ENEMY!!! STRIKE FIRST!!! NO MERCY!!! Cuban Wall is IN ANGER~! He looks at the crowd…and makes the cutthroat sign. Cuban Wall gets up while the crowd boos. Thunderkid is exhausted, breathing hard and in pain. Cuban Wall is breathing hard too, but he still manages to pick up Thunderkid. He lifts TK up, and places him on his right shoulder. The crowd holds its collective breath. CABOOSE Here it comes! Wallbreaker time! NO! Thunderkid slides off of Wall’s shoulder! Wall with a right hand—DUCKED! Thunderkid with a kick to the right leg! Thunderkid beats on Cuban Wall, gaining more and more crowd support. Cuban Wall soon becomes dazed and winded. TK whips Cuban Wall into the ropes. He kicks Wall in the gut, bending him over. Thunderkid then applies a facelock on Cuban Wall. THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Thunderbolt DDT! Thunderbolt DDT on Cuban Wall! Thunderkid just gave the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall the Thunderbolt DDT! I don’t believe it! COACH The 6’3” 255 pound Thunderkid just managed to give the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall his finishing move! Now is his chance! He can go for the win here! However, the Thunderbolt DDT took a lot of energy out of Thunderkid, so he rests on the mat. Cuban Wall is in pain. The crowd is still cheering. Just then, STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK runs down the entrance ramp, surprising the fans that haven’t seen him since April! COLE What the? Popick? What is he doing here? CABOOSE I’d like that question answered myself! Stephen Joseph gets on the ring apron, distracting Earl Hebner. He argues with Hebner as the crowd boos, knowing something is up. Thunderkid is starting to get up, while Cuban Wall is out cold. COLE Hey—hey! The crowd starts booing again as from out of nowhere Tha Puerto Rican shows up…holding a championship belt. Earl Hebner is still arguing with Stephen Joseph, so he doesn’t notice when Tha Puerto Rican SMASHES the championship belt on the back of Thunderkid’s head! COLE What the hell? What? What’s PRL holding? COACH It looks like a belt! COLE But what belt? PRL doesn’t hold any title! CABOOSE Except the greatest wrestler ever title! Thunderkid is stunned, but not out. So PRL waits for Thunderkid to face his direction… ::BELTSHOT on Thunderkid!:: Thunderkid goes down! COLE PRL just knocked out Thunderkid! But with what? CABOOSE I don’t know, but I like it! Tha Puerto Rican and his belt leave the ring. Thunderkid is out cold. Stephen Joseph finally gets off the ring apron to join up with Puerto. Earl Hebner sees that Thunderkid is out cold, but as usual, thinks nothing of it. PR and Popick walk up the entrance ramp with smirks on their faces. Meanwhile, Cuban Wall has started crawling towards Thunderkid. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Cuban Wall is crawling over to Thunderkid! He’s going to steal this victory! Damn it! Damn it! CABOOSE Meh, what are you going to do? Cuban Wall continues crawling over until he is on top of Thunderkid. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count amidst loud boos. COLE Oh no! 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.9999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KIICCCCCKKKKKKKKKKOUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 COLE No! That wasn’t enough either! Oh my! CABOOSE Oh you gotta be kidding me! COACH I can’t believe Thunderkid kicked out of that! PRL must be so pissed! And indeed he is pissed. Popick and PRL are puzzled that Thunderkid kicked out despite being hit in the head twice with a belt. Despite the kickout, Thunderkid is still in pain, so Cuban Wall doesn’t have much of a problem, picking Thunderkid up and lifting him up onto his right shoulder. WALLBREAKER! COLE Wallbreaker! Wallbreaker on Thunderkid! Thunderkid screams out in pain. He convulses on the mat, while Cuban Wall gets up. He glares angrily at Thunderkid, and then bounces off the ropes, jumping up, and crashing down with The Lightning Crew Splash! COLE And now The Lightning Crew Splash! The Lightning Crew Splash finds its mark on Thunderkid! CABOOSE Yes, yes. This is good. Very good. Cuban Wall has managed to silence the crowd. He covers Thunderkid, making sure to hook his right leg. Earl Hebner counts. 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (9:53) COLE And Cuban Wall wins one for The Lightning Crew and Tha Puerto Rican! MR. BURNS Excellent. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. Cuban Wall gets up. Earl Hebner goes to raise his hands, but Wall swats at him. BUFFER Here is your winner…CUBANNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick both applaud Wall. PRL holds up his championship belt, although the camera cannot get a good look at it. THA PUERTO RICAN Way to go Wall! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK All right Wall! COLE Well Cuban Wall got the win, but he needed some help to do it. PRL and…whatever that belt is definitely played a role in this victory for Cuban Wall. CABOOSE Well not a huge role, but definitely a role. Yeah definitely. Earl Hebner checks on Thunderkid, while Cuban Wall exits the ring. “No Chance In Hell” is still playing. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen showing replays of PR’s beltshots and the ending. COLE Tha Puerto Rican had run in earlier in the match, but was taken out by Thunderkid. Then, after Thunderkid hit The Thunderbolt DDT, Stephen Joseph Popick made his return to HeldDOWN~! distracting the referee, allowing PRL to first hit Thunderkid in the back of the head with some kind of championship belt, and then followed that up with a beltshot to the face. Even though that still wasn’t enough to finish the match, a few seconds later, Cuban Wall gave Thunderkid the Wallbreaker and The Lightning Crew Splash, and I most certainly believe that the beltshots played a role in Thunderkid’s defeat. CABOOSE Yeah, but don’t exaggerate. The Wallbreaker and The Lightning Crew Splash are a deadly combination. Cuban Wall has won many matches using both moves. So, don’t think the beltshots helped much. COACH I think they did. CABOOSE You only think about Crystal! COACH MAH BABY GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURL~! CABOOSE *Sigh* The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cuban Wall has joined up with his two cohorts, and has given them high fives. Thunderkid is starting to get up, just in time to see PRL raise his championship belt over his head. PRL laughs manically, while Popick and Cuban Wall smirk. Cuban Wall laughs, as he, Popick, and PRL walk up the entrance ramp. Thunderkid is upset. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds continues playing. COLE What I like to know is what is that belt PRL holding? Where did he get it? We need some answers! And some answers soon damn it! COACH Damn it! That’s a fun word to say. Cut to The Lightning Crew dressing room where Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, and Stephen Joseph Popick are gloating and laughing it up over their screwing of Thunderkid. PRL is holding his championship belt. The crowd boos. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN Ha! Ha! That was great! We should lay the smackdown on Thunderkid tonight right? HA! HA! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Oh yes, it truly was magnificent. The look on Thunderkid’s face when he lost was great. I’ll never forget it. CUBAN WALL Hey, thanks for helping me. I appreciate it. THA PUERTO RICAN Hey no problem, my brotha. The Lightning Crew sticks together forever. Good job kicking the crap out of Thunderkid for me. I appreciate it. CUBAN WALL No problem, boss. Always trying to help. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah. Now hit the showers. CUBAN WALL Yes sir! Cuban Wall leaves. And taking his place is OAOAST interviewer “Mean” Gene Okuerland. “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND Gentlemen, if you don’t mind me interrupting you. STEPHEN JOSEPH Actually we do mind. But, it’s too late to change it, so, what’s your question Gene-O? “MEAN” GENE Well, my question is…what exactly is that belt you and PR are carrying? STEPHEN JOSEPH What? This? *Points to the championship belt.* This right here…is the CORPORATE CHAMPION BELT! “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND Oh sweet Jesus. Not again. The camera finally gets a close-up shot of the Corporate Champion belt. It’s resembles the 1998-2002 WWF Championship belt, with the word CORPORATE written across the belt in blood red. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Yes, that’s right. The Corporate Champion belt, which is only awarded to the Corporate Champion. And since there is only ONE Corporate Champion in the OAOAST, it makes perfect sense that this belt belongs to Tha Puerto Rican! I gave the belt to PRL in 2004, and now we decided to bring it back as a way to remind the world that PRL is indeed the Corporate Champion, and the GREATEST Corporate Champion ever! HA! HA! Tha Puerto Rican nods approvingly. THA PUERTO RICAN Yup. I am The Corporate Champion, and I hold the Corporate Champion belt! A testament to my awesomeness as The Corporate Champion! “MEAN” GENE OKUERLAND So wait a minute. You guys have brought another title to be defended in the OAOAST? POPICK Whoa. Whoa! Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa there, Mean Gene. You’re getting a little carried away here. This is NOT, I repeat, NOT a title. This belt will NOT be defended in the OAOAST. We’re not having another Puerto Rican Title situation here. This belt is more like…a trophy. Yeah, it’s a trophy. A trophy for Tha Puerto Rican to carry around, to brag about, to show all his fans, all of his Lightning Bolts. And if they’re lucky, maybe, just maybe, Tha Puerto Rican will let them touch the belt for one second! Wouldn’t that just be awesome!? Of course it would! “MEAN” GENE So, this belt is just a trophy. That’s all it is? THA PUERTO RICAN What did Popick just say? The Corporate Champion belt is my PERSONAL property. It is not to be defaced, smashed, crushed, or have its name changed. This belt is mine, and it’ll always be mine, and NO ONE, not NO ONE will take this belt away from me! The Corporate Champion belt is the latest in my long line of accomplishments, and I’ll guard this baby till the day I die! So OAOAST, and especially Thunderkid, I’m sorry, but I will NEVER put this belt up for grabs. I’ve already gone through that once before. I won’t do it twice in one lifetime. This trophy will go with me wherever I travel. This belt (PRL pushes the belt in front of the camera) is MINE. MINE. MINE. ALL MINE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Yes! PRL and Popick high five each other. Popick holds the belt in front of the camera. The camera gets a good close up shot of the Corporate Champion belt. THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! The Corporate Champion belt is still dominating the shot as we end the promo. (Cut to Triple C.) COLE I don’t believe it. Of all the annoying, disgusting, obnoxious, arrogant things PRL has done in his three years here in the OAOAST, this has got to be near the top of the list. A Corporate Champion BELT? Give me a break! CABOOSE What’s the problem? You heard PRL. It’s more of a trophy. It’s not a belt to be defended in the OAOAST. It’s his personal property, and it’ll ALWAYS be his personal property! I approve of this. COLE But why have a trophy turned into a belt? And why debut this belt the week after PR lost to Alfdogg in the OAOAST World Title match? PRL is so desperate; he wants to hold a title so bad, that he’ll create his own belt just so he can say he’s a champion! PRL has some serious issues. The Corporate Champion belt or “Trophy” is nothing more but a way to appease his ego, to fill in the gap left by losing the 24/7 Title at AngleMania V and losing the World Title match against Alfdogg last week! The man has got some serious problems. CABOOSE Why do you have to be so negative about EVERYTHING? COLE Because that belt can, and HAS been used as a weapon. PRL isn’t just going to use that belt as a means of bragging. You know it, and I know it. CABOOSE Oh stop your worrying. You’re such a worrywart. Calm down! COLE Caboose! Didn’t you see Cuban Wall vs. Thunderkid earlier? CABOOSE I did, and I saw a Wallbreaker and The Lightning Crew Splash end the match. Not the Corporate Champion belt. COLE But it did play a part in the finish. CABOOSE It barely played a part. It was more about Cuban Wall’s two finishing moves! The Corporate Champion had NOTHING to do with Wall winning. NOTHING AT ALL! Now let’s get back to the show! COLE Caboose! CABOOSE LET’S MOVE ON COLE! COLE Caboose! COACH Cole, we’ll be here all night. COLE Fine! But you’ll see that I’m right in the end! CABOOSE Yeah, right! COLE All right. Anyway. Moving on. Great Angle Bash 5th Anniversary Show! June 25th, ONLY on Pay-Per-View! Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits and Rick Heyross leads out his team of three...Team Heyross, and the Heartland champion, Brock Ausstin. COLE And we're set for more six-man tag team action here on HeldDOWN~! BUFFER The following six-man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way down the aisle, led out by their manager, Rick Heyross...at a combined weight of 785 pounds...introducing first, the duo of CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAMMMMMMM MMMM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE The OAOAST's first-ever Six-Man tag team champions, set to take on a first-time ever trio! COACH And I think experience definitely wins out in this match! Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana hits and the Heavenly Rockers' entrance is met with a big pop, and high-pitched squeals from the female contingent. BUFFER Their opponents, at a combined weight of 647 pounds...introducing first, hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada, the team of SYNTH ESIZER and LOGAN "USHER" MANN, the reigning OAOAST Tag Team champions of the WORLD...the HEAVENLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COACH And finally, a little respect from the OAOAST brass for Team Heyross, Cole! COLE That's right, Coach, because at the Great Angle Bash, it'll be the Heavenly Rockers defending their World tag team championships against Team Heyross! All Along the Watchtower by Phil Lesh and Friends hits, and Otaku II is greeted with a warm reception. BUFFER And their partner, hailing from Boston, Massachusetts... OOOOOOOOOOTAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU U TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! Brock looks out at Otaku with a smirk on his face, as Otaku charges the ring, and gets a double-leg takedown on Brock! *DING DING DING* CABOOSE Here we go, boys! COLE All six men battling it out in the ring! The Heavenly Rockers back Moss and Benjamin into opposite corners with right hands, and Otaku backs Brock into another corner. A triple Irish whip~! follows, sending the Heyross contingent into one another! The Heavenly Rockers send Brock out over the top rope with a double clothesline, then join Otaku in a TRIPLE CLOTHESLINE~! of Team Heyross! Moss and Benjamin quickly retreat and join Brock on the floor. COLE And the team of Otaku II and the tag champs looking really good early! The Rockers dance around the ring, as Otaku motions for Brock to come back into the ring. Brock still maintains his smirk, though not as widely as it was at the start. COLE A little background on Otaku and Brock...it all started at AnglePalooza, when Brock eliminated Otaku from the Lethal Rumble match, and following the elimination, Otaku was none too pleased at Brock's "motions", shall we say, towards his wife, Ayane Mitsui. The two would wage war headed into AngleMania, where Brock would humiliate Otaku and destroy his father's mask! Otaku has vowed vengeance, and this is the first time the two have been in the same building since AngleMania! COACH When's the kid going to learn to just leave well enough alone? Logan stands in the corner, as Otaku and Synth step out. Charlie Moss joins Logan in the ring, and they circle. COLE And it's going to be Charlie Moss, out of Purdue University, starting with Logan "Usher" Mann! Moss goes to a rear waistlock, and takes Logan down to the mat. Moss releases the hold, and slaps Logan in the back of the head! COACH And look at Charlie toy with Logan right there! Logan gets up and circles the ring with Moss once again, and the two tie up. Moss grabs a side headlock, but Logan pushes him off into the ropes. Logan drops down, then takes Moss down with a drop toe hold! CABOOSE Nice move by Logan there! Logan hops up behind Moss, and waits on him to stand up. When he does, Logan taps him on the shoulder, then pops him right in the mouth with a left hand! COLE And there's that left hand of "Usher" Mann! Moss rolls into his corner, holding his chin. He stares at Logan for a couple seconds, before Quentin Benjamin sticks his hand out. Moss tags him in. COLE And now it's Quentin Benjamin, the former Oregon Duck! Benjamin circles the ring with Logan, then ties up. He grabs a side headlock. Logan backs him into the ropes, where he makes a blind tag to Synth. Synth comes in as Logan pushes Benjamin off, and both Rockers leapfrog Benjamin, then both put their heads down, with Synth standing behind Logan. Benjamin leaps in the air over Logan and does a front flip, rolling over the back of Synth and coming down on his feet, which draws OOHS and AHHS from the crowd. COLE What athleticism! CABOOSE Look out, though! Benjamin stops to celebrate his feat, which allows the Rockers to deliver a double clothesline! Moss jumps in the ring and is met with one, as well! Brock Ausstin then jumps into the ring, and delivers a double clothesline of his own, flooring the Rockers and drawing a noticeable pop, when Otaku catches him from across the ring with a spinning wheel kick! Brock slides out of the ring once again. COLE And again, it's the Heavenly Rockers and Otaku standing tall! COACH Who's legal in this match? CABOOSE I think it's Quentin Benjamin and Synth Esizer. Benjamin rolls back into the ring, as Moss and Brock climb onto the apron. COLE And it looks like that's who the referee is letting back in. Synth and Benjamin begin to trade blows, with Synth getting the better of the exchange. Synth backs into the ropes and catches Benjamin with a running forearm, sending him to the mat! Synth then tags in Otaku, who climbs to the top rope as Synth wrenches Benjamin's arm. Benjamin begs Otaku off, but to no avail, as Otaku comes down on the arm with a double axhandle! Otaku then wrenches the arm himself, before picking Benjamin up and slamming him to the mat! Otaku then drops a leg and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE First pin attempt of the match gets two for Otaku! Otaku picks up Benjamin, then wrenches the arm once again, and tags Logan. Logan goes to the top, and repeats Otaku's move, coming down with an axhandle! Logan delivers a vertical suplex to Benjamin, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Logan hops up and drives an elbow into Benjamin, then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. Logan puts his head down, and Benjamin hops over and attempts a sunset flip! Logan hangs on, gets his balance, and sits down... 1... 2... Benjamin BRIDGES OUT, then backs up, and hits Logan with a SUPERKICK~! as he comes at him! COACH There we go, baby! COLE Nice kick by Quentin Benjamin, as the tide appears to have turned in this match! Benjamin drops to his knees and catches his breath, then tags in Charlie Moss. Moss comes in and delivers a gutwrench suplex to Logan, then drops a knee to his sternum, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And now it's Logan Mann in trouble, as Moss gets a two-count! Moss picks up Logan and whips him into the ropes, but Logan ducks a clothesline and grabs Moss around the waist, pushing him into the ropes, then rolling back into a reverse sunset flip! However, Benjamin is distracting the referee! COLE Logan's got a cover, where's the referee? Benjamin's distraction allows Brock to slip in and drill Logan with a clothesline from behind! CABOOSE And what a clothesline from behind by Brock! COACH Todd Bertuzzi would have been proud of that one! Moss picks up Logan, and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex! Moss then follows Logan over to his corner, where he hits Otaku with a cheap shot! Otaku steps into the ring, distracting the referee, as Benjamin hops in, and Team Heyross hits the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! on Logan! Moss covers, as the referee comes around... 1... 2... Logan gets a shoulder up! COLE Two-count only! COACH Come ON, ref! Moss complains to the referee, to no avail, then lifts Logan up and tags in Brock Ausstin. COLE And Brock Ausstin in there now, his first legal action in this match! Brock backs Logan into the corner, then whips him HARD across the ring, with Logan hitting the buckles with his back and falling straight forward onto the mat! Brock leans over and slaps Logan in the head a couple times, before lifting him up in a PRESS SLAM~! and tossing him down to the mat! COLE And Brock Ausstin, the Heartland champion, showing off that awesome power! Brock flexes for the crowd, drawing mostly boos, with some applause scattered within. He then tosses Logan back into the corner, and tags Quentin Benjamin. Benjamin climbs to the top rope, as Brock bodyslams Logan in the middle of the ring. Brock then grabs Benjamin, and tosses him off for a ROCKET LAUNCHER~!... ...but Logan gets the knees up! CABOOSE Logan better go make a tag here! Brock stays in the ring, and as the referee tries to get him out, Logan is able to make a tag to Synth! COLE Tag made, but the referee didn't see it! The referee turns around to see Synth going after Benjamin, and forces him back out, as the crowd voices its disapproval. COACH Get him out, ref! No tag! COLE Well, there WAS a tag, but thanks to Brock Ausstin, the referee didn't see it! Benjamin tags Moss back in the ring, and Moss plants Logan with the STO BACKBREAKER~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Logan is too close to the ropes and gets a foot out! COACH What a coward! COLE Coward? He just saved the match for his team! Moss pulls Logan out, and goes for the MOSSY KNOLL~!!! But as he bends over, he's met with the left hand of Logan once again! COLE And once again, that big left of Logan Mann meeting the face of Moss! Now go make a tag, Logan! Moss makes a tag, to Brock Ausstin, who sets up Logan for a powerbomb! However, Logan flips over the back, lands over on his feet, then leaps over and tags in Otaku! CABOOSE Uh-oh! COLE The referee saw that tag! And here's the matchup we've been waiting for! Brock tells Otaku to bring it, as Otaku steps in and ducks a clothesline, and starts trading blows with Brock! COACH And Otaku's making a mistake here! Surprisingly, Otaku gets the better of the exchange! COLE Maybe not! COACH I can't believe it! Otaku whips Brock into the ropes, and hits him with a double-leg dropkick! As Brock gets to his feet, Otaku catches him with a Tiger Suplex~! 1... 2... NO! Brock gets loose! Otaku delivers a DDT to Brock! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Brock gets a foot on the rope! COACH Look at that smart move by Brock, saving the match for his team! COLE Otaku starts to set up for the BUBBLEGUM CRASH~!!!!!11111, but Quentin Benjamin hits him from behind! Benjamin goes for a superkick, but Otaku ducks and hits him with one of his own! Moss then attacks from behind, and goes for an Irish whip. Otaku reverses, sending Moss into the corner, then catches him with a hurricanrana!...but Moss blocks it, and hooks the MOSSY KNOLL~!!! CABOOSE Wow, what a counter by Moss! Moss sits back, but Synth slides into the ring and plants Moss with the PERCUSSION~!!!111 COLE Synth with the Percussion! The referee forces Synth out of the ring. COLE The legal men are still Brock and Otaku! Brock picks up Otaku, and sets up the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111...but Otaku rolls backwards, rolling Brock into a crucifix! 1... 2... 3!!! COACH NO!!! COLE HE DID IT! Otaku II has pinned Brock Ausstin! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match...the team of THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS and OOOOOOOTAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!! CABOOSE I think this has got to be an upset, when you consider that Brock and Team Heyross were the first Six-Man tag champs! The Heavenly Rockers congratulate Otaku as he raises his hands high in the air out in the aisle, with Brock looking out at him, a look of shock replacing his previous smirk. COLE And you've got to wonder, is it time to worry if you're Brock Ausstin? This could earn Otaku his chance, one-on-one, at the Great Angle Bash! We cut to the backstage area to find James Blonde and Faqu lightly sparring in their dressing room. BLONDE Big night tonight. You're gonna take Malibu down. You are the MAN tonight. FAQU Hey, don't worry about me. You got a big sick bastard to watch out for. I'm not gonna be there to back you up, so watch your back brah. BLONDE I got this. Then I'll get the champagne ready for your victory party later. Good luck man. FAQU You too. The duo slap hands and Blonde exits the room leaving Faqu alone to shadowbox as we fade. UP NEXT: James Blonde vs. Bloodshed. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2006 Coming back from a commercial break, the arena is loud as can be as “My Own Summer” blares out from the PA and Michael Buffer stands at the ready in the ring. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL…introducing first…from Dallas, Texas…he weighs in at two hundred and thirty four pounds…JAAAAAAAAMES BLONDE! James Blonde appears from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring, his partner noticeably absent. COLE Our main event will see James Blonde’s tag team partner facing off against Zack Malibu inside of a steel cage! I guess with nobody – no Hooligan, no Wildcard, and no James Blonde to interfere, Faqu decided to do the honorable thing and sit this match out, even when his opponent, one of the Wildcards, has not exactly proven himself to be honorable in the slightest! COACH We both know that one-on-one, a guy like Blonde can take down whatever it put in front of him. Faqu will probably do the same later tonight. Zack might be all about keeping everyone out, but those steel bars will be keeping HIM in, too. Blonde hits the ring and slides under the bottom rope, standing to his feet and spinning in a cascade of lights and cheers---- ---as the lights go out?!!!! CABOOSE COACH COLE The arena darkens and the music fades, leaving nothing but the sounds of fans murmuring and the announcers wondering what is going on. COACH This is all a bunch of silly tricks! I’m sick and tired of this! CABOOSE We’re sick and tired of you. COLE There could be a problem with the electricity in the arena and----- *CLAAAAAAAANG* The lights suddenly return to their normally scheduled radiance, and the image present is that of James Blonde lying on his back, his head bleeding, and the man known as Bloodshed standing over him, armed with a shovel!! COLE It’s Bloodshed! Bloodshed has just sneak attacked James Blonde!! CABOOSE We should get some help out here. COACH Yes! Call the EMTs! Get some officials! In the ring, the referee tries to reason with the weapon-wielding maniac, but a single swing causes the ref to retreat to the outside before ending up in the same position as James Blonde has found himself in. As the fans look on, their boos growing rapidly in number, Bloodshed looks out upon them, a smile on his face. Lifting Blonde, Bloodshed drags his would-be opponent to the corner and lifts him up to the top turnbuckle, placing him sitting sideways, his legs dangling toward the outside in one direction as Bloodshed holds his body from falling in the other. COLE What is he trying to do, what is he trying to DO!? COACH WE NEED HELP OUT HERE! Bloodshed can be heard laughing as he climbs through the ropes and up the bracing of the turnbuckles, pulling the body of James Blonde up with him until both men are in a standing position on the level of the second buckle. CABOOSE This isn’t going to end well, gentlemen… Precariously balancing the knocked-out James Blonde is quite the task for Bloodshed, who has his arms latched around the body of Blonde in a rear waistlock, his feet working to keep him steady, his left foot balanced on the second rope as his right foot wraps around the bracing, probably the only safety measure to be seen as, with all the strength he can muster, Bloodshed pulls James Blonde up and over him, releasing the man mid-throw and sending him flying through the air, his body flipping wildly… *CRAAAAAAAAAAASH* COLE/COACH/CABOOSE HOLY (BLEEEEEP)!!! The crowd chants, unbleeped, as Bloodshed’s german suplex attempt sends James Blonde sailing through the air, backflipping, and coming down hard chest first, ABSOLUTELY CRUSHING THE PORTUGUESE ANNOUNCE TABLE!! COLE I’ve never seen anything like that before in my entire life! James Blonde could be DEAD!! CABOOSE He looks like he’s breathing to me… COACH …and look at that monster! Bloodshed, having wrapped his feet in the turnbuckle braces, hangs upside down from the corner, his eyes fixated below him on the destruction he has caused as a smile forms across his face. COLE Never in my life…and we’ve just got word of commotion backstage! The scene switches backstage, where an army of officials and EMTs stand, separated from the curtain by Bruce Blank, who seems to be asking questions about various medical conditions as they try to push around him, his body forcefully pushing back against them as he nonchalantly chats with an upset, annoyed, and confused EMT. CABOOSE What does he think this is, ER? COACH This makes me sick! COLE Bloodshed is still hanging from the ring, laughing, and now we see the reason for the delay in the help for James Blonde, who is still out cold, bloody, and surrounded by shards of wood, electrical equipment, and our Portuguese announce team! On the big screen, Bruce can finally be seen relenting to the officials as he moves from their path, the army of people flowing past him. They appear through the curtain and head towards the ring--- …as the lights go out AGAIN! COACH Not again!!! Moments later, the lights return, the officials and medical personnel are able to make it to the downed Blonde, but Bloodshed is nowhere to be found. COLE Bloodshed has disappeared just as quickly as he reappeared, leaving only a destroyed table and a decimated James Blonde in his wake. Any chance of interference tonight on behalf of that man there was just thrown out the window. CABOOSE Could the Wildcards be adding a little insurance policy to Zack Malibu’s title defense tonight, regardless of the steel cage? COLE Anything is possible, especially here in the OAOAST. We will be back in just a few moments, as we have been told to take a break to let the medical team here work on James Blonde and to get a new table out here. Commercial break Yankee Doodle plays as we return from commercial break. An American flag is shown waving in the background. Cut to a man flipping burgers on a grill, then serving a hot dog to a friend. Cut to a little girl at a picnic table eating an apple pie. Cut to a young boy hitting a baseball, and running the bases. Cut to fireworks in the night sky. *Record scratch* Cut to Brock Ausstin delivering the F-STUNNER-5 to Alfdogg! Cut to Zack Malibu delivering SCHOOL'S OUT to Reject! Cut to Peter Knight locking the Queen Angelito Stretch on Thunderkid! Cut to Team Heyross planting a jobber with the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER! Cut to Drek Stone grinning devilishly into the camera... America has a new pasttime. Cut to Alf delivering the Five-Star Alf Splash to Peter Knight, and posing with the OAOAST World championship. OAOAST presents Battlebowl July 4, Live from Madison Square Garden in New York City! Backstage and still depressed at her hand in her brother's defeat earlier in the night, Jade Rodez sits alone in one of the arena's long corridors with her head hung down looking at the floor sadly, in no mood for any conversations or condolences. Unfortunately, that's just what she's going to get, as the Beverly Hills Blonds celebration party has stumbled across Jade. Simon and Mackenzie chatter away in the background as out in front, Ned Blanchard is busy talking on his cellphone, still in his ring gear. BLANCHARD Not at all, not at all! It was my pleasure! And if you ever need any assistance dealing with him again, just give me a call and I'll be at your side at a moment's notice. Listen, I've gotta go. Thanks again for the call Crystal, I'll see you next week. ... (hanging up) Why so glum, Cookie? Cheer up, you did great out there! Giving no response, Jade continues to hang her head. BLANCHARD Oh come on, what's the matter? Don't tell me that you're all sad because I beat your brother cleanly in the middle of that ring. He should be used to it by now. Besides, families in wrestling are never supposed to get along anyway. It's an unwritten rule. So you tripped him up? Big deal! Sneering, Ned twirls a lock of Jade's hair around his finger, causing her to pull away. BLANCHARD I know just the thing to cheer you up... JOSH MATTHEWS JADE! Jade Rodez! BLANCHARD Oh jeez. Rushing onto the scene, Josh Matthews skids to a halt beside the unimpressed Beverly Hills Blonds, with a clipboard in his hands. MATTHEWS Jade, I just got back from the head office and this is the contract that you wanted, all approved... BLANCHARD Let me see that! Snatching the clipboard away from Matthews, Ned scans the contract, shaking his head with a wry smile. Mackenzie eventually snatches it away herself, causing murmurs from the BHB. BLANCHARD What the hell is this? MATTHEWS Well, it's a contract for next week, for one on one match between yourself and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant. And not only that, but it will be a Lumberjack Match, with each of you able to select three hand picked Lumberjacks. (notices everyone looking at him) ...I read it on the way. MACKENZIE Wait a second, what the hell is this about stipulations!?! MATTHEWS You mean the bit where if Tyler wins, then Jade is freed from the contract forcing her to be your slave? "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" BLANCHARD Wha...YES, the bit about Jade being free from her contract! You don't give me a lot of credit, do you Cookie? What the hell makes you think I'd sign away that, especially after I won it fairly and squarely at School's Out? Finally looking up, Jade JADE Because it he loses...I'll do anything you ask. SINGLETON You're already doing that dummy, that's one of the condition of being a slave! Infact, now that I think about it, that's kinda the only condition of being a slave. BLANCHARD Wait wait, hear her out. By anything you mean...'anything' anything? JADE Yes. BLANCHARD No questions asked? JADE Yes. BLANCHARD Any time of the day, whenever I want it? JADE ...yes. Perking up, understandably, Ned snatches back the contract and a pen from Josh Matthews' front pocket. Without hesitation, The Handsome Hustler then places the contract on Jade's back, using her as a makeshift leaning post as he happily signs on the dotted line. Mackenzie and Simon don't seem to be too impressed with Ned's decision, but Ned certainly does, as he hands the contract back to J.Math. BLANCHARD You young lady have got yourself a deal. Seven days and you're all mine. And by my calculations, that leaves us with thirteen lucky, lucky days to celebrate our new arrangement you lucky, lucky girl. Thirteen days and thirteen nights, alone in the wilderness of my plush duvet. And once those legs open, you're not gonna want to close them ever again! Everyone suddenly feels the urge to vomit, aside of course from Ned who for some reason assumes that sentence would in some way be alluring. BLANCHARD Now, you go back to the hotel and get my bath water ready. I've got some Lumberjacks to find. COLE Ugh. Just.....ugh. COACH I wonder if Ned likes to use mango body butter? CABOOSE Don't make me hit you again. Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go COACH Ah man that can only mean those two flaming luchadors! MICHAEL BUFFER The following match is a TABLES MATCH!! “WE WANT TABLES!! COACH Oh come on people no one is in the ring yet! MICHAEL BUFFER Introducing first from sunny, funny Cabo San Lucas in Mexico weighing in at 340 pounds: “Mariachi” Javier Manuel Nieves, “Moracca” Luis Mendoza they are the unparalelled LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-O-O-OH!! The pink and yellow lights haven’t been seen in the OAOAST lately but Los Diablos are BACK from a well earned vacation to Fire Island and they both look tanned, buff and sensual as they engage in a close, sensual tango for a moment before they start skipping down the aisle. Moracca sees something he likes in the front row as he goes over and writes his phone number on some guy’s shirt and then makes the international “call me” sign. COLE Did you copy the number down Coach? COACH Oh har, de, har, de – dumbass! MICHAEL BUFFER And their opponents. . . That is all Buffers gets out before “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” is blasted over the PA system and the cheers turn to boos and hisses for the invading Wildcarders. 3 seconds later Bruce Blank and Todd Cortez the come blasting out from the back at full speed, running towards the ring instead of their normal relaxed entrances where they slide under the bottom ropes and then go to town. COLE These guys are not waiting around! They want to get their hands on Mariachi and Moracca! Bruce and Cortez rush Mariachi and Moracca with both fists swinging left and right just as the house lights return to normal. Bruce hammers Mariachi into the corner with a forceful double axe handle blow to the back of the “Alternative Lifestyle” Luchador’s head. Cortez quickly rushes Moracca and clotheslines Mendoza with such force that both Moracca and Cortez flip over the top rope to the floor. COACH He nearly took off Moracca’s head!! “WE WANT TABLES!! WE WANT TABLES!! WE WANT TABLES!! “ Working in perfect unison both Cortez and Bruce start to clubber their opponents over the back with one stiff forearm blow after another until they drive both Moracca and Mariachi to the ground. With Mariachi on the canvas Bruce quickly switches tactics and starts to grind his boot into the back of Mariachi’s head, rubbing his opponents face into the canvas. COACH Bruce has shown a total and utter lack of respect for more or less everyone in the OAOAST COLE You mean like the Upstarts have no respect for anyone but themselves? COACH Oh no, no, no don’t DARE compare the Upstarts to those cavemen. On the floor Cortez has kept Moracca under control with a succession of quick jabs to the face. After about 10 blows or so Cortez pulls Moracca back to his feet by the hair and then hoist him up and over his head in a release Belly to Belly suplex with such force that it actually overshoots one of the tables set up outside and Moracca hits the mat on the other side of the table instead. CABOOSE Moracca just got lucky Pete COLE Lucky?? He hit the concrete floor with only a 2 inch mat to protect him – how is that lucky? CABOOSE Well for starters he didn’t get driven through a table. Bruce raises his cowboy boot clad foot and then quickly brings it back down in an attempt to stomp Mariachi in the back of the head, fortunately for Senior Nieves he’s alert enough to move his head out of the way of the boot that hits the mat instead. Mariachi also rolls out of the way of a second and a third attempted stomp by Bruce but is unprepared for Bruce’s surprise elbow drop that lands all 295 pounds square on the Mexican Cruiserweight’s chest. With a folded up table in hand Cortez is about to launch another attack on Moracca but Cortez underestimated his opponent’s physical condition as Moracca leaps up off the mat… Onto the table he was thrown over just moments ago where he then runs across it to drop kick the table in Cortez’s hands right into the big man’s face *BAM!* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! COLE You can’t take your eyes off this guy for a second! Man alive he crossed that table like greased lighting COACH Like an Illegal worker crossing the border eh? So would you say he turned the tables on Cortez? COLE & CABOOSE *GROAN!* “WE WANT TABLES!! WE WANT TABLES!! WE WANT TABLES!! “ Bruce is totally unaware of what is going on down on the floor as he just keeps working over Mariachi without realising that Moracca has Cortez trapped under the folded up table. Moracca stands on the table that’s on top of Cortez and looks at the crowd with a smirk while they start to chant for him. Then El Diablo Del Fuego begins to jump up and down, stomping on the table each time he lands, sending shockwaves through the wood and into the trapped Cortez. VIVA LOS DIABLOS!! The chant gets Bruce’s attention and he quickly turns around to find out what’s going on on the floor. Bruce sticks his upper body out through the top and 2nd rope to try and grab Moracca, but the speedy youngster is 3 steps ahead of him and quickly blasts the King of Pain across the jaw with a flying forearm. The second Moracca gets back up from the drop kick Cortez rushes in and clubbers him over the back and then rolls him into the ring only to follow him a split second later. COLE And here comes the tables! Cortez is looking to make sort work of Los Diablos here tonight COACH If he thinks everyone are as easy as these two he’s got another thing coming, especially when the Wildcards come up against the Hooligans again. CABOOSE And what makes you think they’ll succeed next time? COACH They’ll be prepared, they’ll have the ultimate game plan ready! Taking advantage of his situation Moracca quickly leaps up onto a table and once again runs across it to drop kick Cortez into the turnbuckles in the corner before the Urban Legend can react. COLE Again Moracca takes a chance and uses the table to his advantage CABOOSE Yeah but he got trapped by Bruce though, didn’t he Pete After drop kicking Cortez Moracca gets caught with his back to Bruce Blank. With the table positioned behind him Bruce whips Moracca into the ropes and then grabs the smaller opponent as he comes off the ropes and tries to throw him over his back in a huge backdrop. The more agile Moracca manages to turn his body in mid air and instead of being flipped over Bruce’s head he instead drives both his feet straight into Bruce’s chest with a picture perfect drop kick that knocks Bruce backwards driving his lower back into the table edge. VIVA LOS DIABLOS!! Moracca quickly locks an arm around Bruce’s head and leaps into the air for an extra elevated DDT, but once he’s twisting in mid air Cortez rushes in and totally annihilates Moracca with a stiff as hell Lariat!! The Lariat knocks Moracca to the ground with such force that he flips over and ends up half way out of the ring from sheer force alone CABOOSE WOW! Did you hear that impact? COLE I did, it was sick like a baseball bat hitting a side of beef If this had been a regular match odds are good that Cortez would have been able to get the pin fall, but in this match pin falls don’t matter, DQ’s don’t exists and you can’t get counted out – all that matters is driving your opponents through a table. With that in mind Cortez quickly grabs Moracca by the hair and drags him over to the table that’s set up in the ring. The moment the Urban Legend lifts Moracca up in the air Mariachi gets a second win and comes darting out from the corner and spears Cortez in the midsection. COLE Cortez just took the weak spear but stayed on his feet CABOOSE At least Mariachi got him to let go of Moracca. Cortez charges Mariachi with a clothesline but Nieves ducks under it sending Cortez into the ropes. When he bounces back off again Moracca and Mariachi team up to just barely lift the bigger Cortez into the air with a back drop. Due to the weight advantage they’re only able to flip Cortez over the top rope where he lands on the apron while grabbing the top rope. Mariachi quickly kicks Cortez in the stomach to double him over which Moracca follows up by leaping over the top rope into a sunset flip power bomb attempt. COLE Cortez has the ropes!! He ain’t going down that easily CABOOSE SUPERKICK!! Caboose screams out as Mariachi drives his boot straight into Cortez’s jaw so that the big man releases his grip on the top rope and allows Moracca to finish the power bomb move. Cortez flies off the apron and guided by Moracca’s hands on his tights is driven straight down on the protective mat on the outside. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! With Cortez down on the outside Mariachi turns his attention back towards Bruce who’s still leaned against the turnbuckles in the corner holding his lower back, he’s obviously still in pain from where he hit the table edge earlier. With a 4 step run in Mariachi leaps up onto the top rope and springboards off it aiming a drop kick straight at Bruce in the corner. OOOOOOOOOOOOHH!! At the last second Bruce moves out of the way resulting in Mariachi missing the drop kick completely and hitting the top turnbuckle back first before bouncing backwards, crashing to the canvas. COLE Bruce was so totally playing possum there, he suckered Mariachi right in CABOOSE You got to admit, it worked didn’t it? COLE Well… yeah okay I’ll have to admit that it DID work Moracca grabs the top rope and leaps into the ring behind Bruce’s back, then he leaps up onto the table set up in the ring and runs across it. Bruce must have seen El Homo Loco out of the corner of his eye as he quickly kicks the folding legs out from under one end of the table so that it tilts over on one end causing Moracca to slip and slam his jaw straight into the corner of the table without putting up his hands to take some of the impact COACH OH SICK! Moracca is going to need a dentist when this is over CABOOSE I wonder if Isaac Yankeem is busy these days Bruce folds the other table legs and then raises it up in the air aiming it straight at Mariachi in the corner as he runs towards him. *BA-CRASH!!* The table snaps into several pieces as Bruce drives the edge of it square into Mariachi’s gut with all the power he has in his 295 pound frame. The impact knocks Mariachi through top and middle rope and onto the apron as Bruce turns to the crowd and flexes his massive arms to celebrate. “SO THIS IS WHAT THE MIGHTY WILDCARDS DO? FIGHT GIRLY MEN!” Every single face in the arena turn towards the entrance where Scotty Static and Johnny Jax are walking down the aisle, each with a microphone in one hand and a steel chair in the other, every single face in the arena but Bruce and Todd as they keep on fighting, only throwing each other a quick glance. JOHNNY JAX Ah you know they’re tougher than anything the SWF has produced GPX keep on ragging on Bruce and Cortez as the walk towards the ring, grinning and joking as they go, throwing insult after insult at the Wildcarders but without much reaction from neither Blank nor Cortez. Static looks at Johnny, then he nods as he’s about to pull out one of the big guns in their arsenal SCOTTY STATIC HEY BRUCE!! That there Ultraviolet or whatever you were talking about last week? – it’s a joke! That got Bruce’s attention as he angrily turns towards the Global Party Exchange with a murderous look in his eyes. With one hand on his bleeding jaw Moracca runs across the ring, then he leaps up on Bruce’s shoulders and locks his knees around the big man’s head before flipping forward, gripping the top rope to guide his body as Moracca drags Bruce out of the ring with a vicious snap to the Huracanrana. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! COLE HOOOOOOOOOOLY!! We’re treated to Scotty and Johnny giving each other a high five after getting Bruce distracted and then we cut to the other side of the ring where Moracca manages to hold on to the top rope and land on the apron while Bruce flips over and smacks against the floor and the guard rail at high speed. A quick roll later and Moracca is back in the ring where he notices that Cortez is conscious again after being slammed to the ground and is now stalking Mariachi who’s still on kneeling on the ground, recovering from the tumble he took out of the ring. CABOOSE Where is Moracca going COACH HE’S COMING RIGHT FOR US Coach yells out in surprise as Moracca runs towards Cortez and dives between the top and the middle rope for a torpedo like tope aimed right at the Urban Youth. Cortez adjusts his position at the last moment to catch Moracca mid leap, then he twists it around and power slams Moracca straight onto the announcers table driving both of them through the wood and sending the monitors and papers flying everywhere. COACH Oh F*ck! Coach screams like a little girl as he has to leap out of the way of Cortez’s table breaking antics. COLE Talk about being close to the action CABOOSE You know what this means fellas? Moracca has been put through a table!! Next elimination decides the match! COACH Are you sure THIS table counts? Cortez pulls Bruce back onto his feet and helps him get steady before they pick up one of the tables stacked on the outside and grab it by each end. Because Moracca distracted Cortez before he could attack Mariachi he’s has been able to recover and is now back on his feet, ready to resume the fight. But the fighting spirit of the “Exoticó” is quickly snuffed out as Cortez and Bruce run at him and sandwich Mariachi between the ring post and the table that they drive forward with enough force to break it in half on Mariachi’s body. CABOOSE HE’S OUTTA HERE!! Bruce and Cortez wins!! COACH Hold on there Boosey! Both Bruce and Cortez think they’ve won as well as they raise their arms in the arm celebrating their table breaking antics when the referee approaches Michael Buffer to inform him of what the official stance on the match is, after nodding a few times Buffer stands up and addresses Bruce, Cortez and the crowd. MICHAEL BUFFER Since Bruce and Cortez broken the table on Mariachi instead of Mariachi going through the table it has been deemed that this is not an elimination so the match MUST CONTINUE!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Both Cortez and Bruce are livid when they hear the announcement, Bruce even goes so far as to grab the referee by the shirt and yelling at him while Cortez blows a snot rocket at some annoying fans at ringside. The GPX on the other hand seems to be highly amused by the Wildcard’s misfortune. Moments later Cortez finds himself in the crowd as Moracca launches himself at the Urban Legend with a sharp piece of table wood in his hands and drives both of them over the top of the guardrail into the crowd. The first row quickly clears out as the two combatants slam down onto the concrete and continue to fight.. COLE Moracca may technically be eliminated from the match but he’s still got a LOT of fight in him and he’s taking it to Todd Cortez COLE Someone get them out of the front row though, that ain’t right, those damn animals need to keep it in the ring Cortez kicks the piece of wood out of Moracca’s hand before wiping his hand across his forehead, when the Urban Legend sees his own blood on his fingers his eyes open wide and his nostrils begins to flare as he realizes that the Unique Youth has cut him open. CABOOSE I think Cortez is fixin’ to show us why he’s know as a street fighter Cortez rushes in to strike Moracca with a clothesline but Moracca is just too quick for the Urban Legend as he ducks under the arm to send Cortez flipping over the guardrail. After releasing the referee Bruce turns his attention towards the fight just in time to see Moracca run at the guard rail, leap up and balance off the top of it before diving at Bruce with a twisting body press that drives Bruce back towards one of the tables set up on the outside. *KRESH!!* With the match hanging in the balance Cortez leaps forward and sacrifices his own body by tackling the side of the table, knocking it out of the way second before Bruce would have been driven through it and ends up under the big man. COACH Damn that’s quite an unusual tactic by Cortez CABOOSE He saved his team mate, that’s what matters to Cortez even if he has to sacrifice his own body. Cortez is the kind of guy that doesn’t mind putting his body on the line as long as he wins, he’s proved that tonight more than once Moracca is quickly back on his feet and slides an unbroken table into the ring under the bottom rope before he quickly helps Mariachi back to his feet. Together Mariachi and Moracca grab Cortez by the shirt and roll him under the bottom rope into the ring with them right behind him. COACH If they take Cortez out of the fight then Bruce is much easier to beat, he may be good, he may be big and strong but even he can’t overcome TWO world class athletes . . . well two performers like Moracca and Mariachi Moracca unfolds the table legs and sets it up in the ring while Mariachi keeps Cortez under control with a quick Senton Bomb that drives the air from Cortez’s lungs. Mariachi grabs the Urban Legend by the right hand and Moracca grabs him by the left to drag him back to his feet to then throw Cortez into the ropes. COLE Watch out Bruce has just crawled back into the ring Moracca and Mariachi leap into the air, extend their legs to snap Cortez backwards with a perfectly synchronous double drop kick that draws a lot of fan approval. Moracca quickly gets back up, leaps at Bruce for a tornado DDT while Mariachi starts to climb the ropes. CABOOSE Bruce blocked the DDT!! He just put on the breaks and stopped Moracca mid air. I may not like him but that’s an awesome display of power COLE He better pay attention to his partner, he’s about to get flattened by Mariachi Mariachi bounces off the top rope and flips backwards aiming straight at the prone Cortez on the mat. Bruce quickly grabs the table that’s been set up in the ring earlier and throws it half way across the ring where it lands with the proper side up right in Mariachi’s path. Mariachi is unable to stop the flipping momentum on his Moonsault and comes down on the table with his upper body and head first crashing through the table to the ground. For a second the entire arena is silent until * DING*DING*DING*DING* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Instead of waiting for an announcement or the referee to raise his hand Bruce quickly drops down, rolls under the bottom rope and then gets in Static and Jax’ face, hands raise, voice raised even more. BRUCE BLANK Who invited the local job squad? You better get on out of here before I forget my manners and give everyone a free flashback to School’s out Scooter. SCOTTY STATIC Why don’t we give them a flashback huh? RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! JOHNNY JAX Yeah there are two of us here, two of you! BRUCE BLANK Heh – I know you both suffered a lot of physical trauma recently so I’ll forgive the amount of base in your voice little boy but frankly you guys bore us. COACH Oh no he didn’t!! BRUCE BLANK I mean we’ve beaten you, we’ve dominated you, we’ve PUNISHED YOU!! There ain’t nothing in it for us to destroy you again. Bruce waves his hand dismissivley at GPX which seems to piss off the Party Exchange no end. SCOTTY STATIC You talk big Bruce, you and your card buddies but just like the SWF you’re all talk and no action! Those titles do not belong to the likes of (with a very contemptible tone) you or thes- Before Scotty can finish the sentence Todd Cortez comes off the top rope knocking both Static and Jax to the ground with a cross body block. Bruce quickly grabs Cortez by the back of the tights and hoists him back to his feet, saying a few words to him before both of the Wildcard members head for the locker room COACH WHAT? COME BACK HERE AND GET YOUR ASS KICKED!! CABOOSE Like the did at School’s Out? Neither Cortez nor Blank even bother to look back driving home just how little they’re worried about the Global Party Exchange. Moments later both Jax and Static get back to their feet and then run up the aisle for the backstage area with bad intentions on their mind. COLE Oh look at the time, we’ve got merchandise to flo. . . I mean we got to go to commercials! Main event is coming up NEXT! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2006 We return as the steel cage has been lowered around the ring and ring hands are scattering up the ramp, their job for the night done. COLE It's time now fans for the main event of the evening, a Steel Cage Match for the HI-YAH Championship. While cage matches are typically put forth for major grudges, this seems to be more for keeping people out of the action tonight. With tension rampant between various allegiances, especially Zack Malibu and The Wildcards, the cage match seemed the safest bet for a fair fight. CABOOSE And what a fight it's going to be. Faqu has been determined to capture this belt since Anglemania this past year. Tonight, he gets his shot within the walls of the cage, but in the back of his mind, has to be concerned with the elimination of his partner earlier tonight at the hands of Bloodshed! COACH Pssh, concerned? I'd be furious! Everyone knows that's a Malibu call! CABOOSE You don't know that. COLE Whatever the case may be, that just added more fuel to the fire. No matter what Malibu claims, The Wildcards have stated that they'll continue to "back him up" whether he wants it or not. No matter how hard Malibu attempts to cut the tie, his decision to bring in The Wildcards has haunted him in recent weeks. Tonight, he attempts to make up for it by giving Faqu a fair fight, and in the process putting himself and his championship reign in danger! "My Own Summer" hit, and the fans pop like mad, as the challenger appears on the entranceway, pausing for a few moments before making his way down to the cage surrounded ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is for the HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, from Honolulu, HI, and weighing in tonight at two hundred, ninety seven pounds, he is the "Samoan Tsunami", FAAAAAAAAAAAAAQUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Looking focused, Faqu walks up the steps and through the cage door, raising an arm out to the fans who applaud his arrival. Faqu then hits the ropes and warms up a bit, all while keeping his eye on the entranceway, as he awaits the champion. "Getting Away With Murder" plays, and a loud pop follows, although scattered booing is noticeable. Given recent events, it's no surprise as to why, as even the fans have tired of Malibu's allegiance to the outsiders contingent of Bloodshed, Todd Cortez, and Bruce Blank. COLE The champ is here! COACH Dude...SO 2004. Malibu comes out looking less animated than usual, more intent on keeping his belt as well as the respect of his peers. He simply heads right for the ring and slides through the door, unstrapping himself of the HI-YAH belt and seemingly wanting to get this over with ASAP. The two men walk closer and closer to each other, meeting in the dead center of the ring. Of course, "dead" center might not be the best description to use when you're in there with an agile Samoan monster whose bad side you've recently gotten on. Still, Zack breaks the tension of the staredown with the extension of his right hand, offering respect to someone he still considers a friend. COLE Now, it'll be interesting to see Faqu's reaction here, because he's not taking Zack's recent actions lightly. CABOOSE To play devil's advocate though, Cole, some of those feelings could be bitterness and resentment for the fact that he's struck out everytime he's gone for the HI-YAH Championship. COLE Things have certainly gotten in the way in the past, but with a wall of steel seperating these men from the outside world, it's finally one on one, and at Malibu's call no less. Faqu, still staring a hole through Zack, looks down at the end, and knocks it away. Malibu takes a deep breath and backs up, coming up to his "friend" and again extends his hand. Faqu again looks down, this time in disbelief that Malibu would try this tactic again...but this time the Samoan takes the hand of Zack Malibu! AND YANKS HIM TOWARDS HIM, UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS! COACH He's gonna drop him already! Frantically, Malibu shakes himself off, avoiding Faqu's Death Valley Driver! The Samoan quickly turns around, and Malibu reacts fast with SCHOOL'S OUT...but it's caught! Faqu throws the leg down, and then starts focusing on the leg with hard kicks, connecting with the upper thigh and area just over the knee. Malibu finally starts blocking the kicks and starts retaliating, using hard slaps to fight back, and then drives Faqu back even further with some wicked chops! Malibu then shoots Faqu to the ropes...or at least tries to, as Faqu reverses and sends Malibu in! Zack rebounds, running right into the grasp of the big man, who pushes Zack up over his head, and then throws him back down to earth with a hard slam! As Malibu reels, Faqu bounds for the ropes, and comes off with a front dropkick that knocks Malibu back down to the canvas just as he had gotten up! COLE He moves fast for a man his size, and between the power and momentum behind it, that dropkick could not have felt good! CABOOSE When does ANYTHING you see inside the ring feel good, Cole? Faqu picks Zack up, then starts rattling him with repeated hard slaps before backing him into the corner and stuffing his face with forearm shots before turning around, walking away...and hitting a running forearm in the corner! Faqu then sends Zack across the ring, forcing him to slam hard against the turnbuckles. He charges in, but Malibu rolls out of the corner, avoiding the oncoming charge! Faqu turns around, but Malibu is up and starts firing off jabs with his right hand, continuously stunning Faqu with the blows! Zack then hits the ropes and delivers a single leg dropkick, cracking Faqu's jaw, and causing him to teeter back against the ropes! Zack approaches, and Faqu quickly shoots for the legs, taking Zack down to the canvas and hooking the legs while he stands back up...and he catapults Zack into the cage wall! BUT ZACK WAS READY FOR IT! COLE Look at THAT agility! Like Spider-Man, Malibu clings to the cage wall and climbs up a bit higher, looking over his shoulder before letting go and turning his body around so that he can land where his focus lies...on Faqu's shoulders, so that he can snap him over with a huracanrana! CABOOSE HOLY! COLE That was amazing! Malibu pops right up, fueled by the roar of the crowd, and nails Faqu as he comes up with hard running lariat that simply staggers the big man. Malibu then hits the ropes again, but as he goes for a second lariat, Faqu throws his arm up and hooks Zack's, swinging around him and trapping him in a full nelson! COACH He saw that one coming a mile away! Malibu's way too predictable. CABOOSE Oh is that so? Faqu keeps his hands clenched, as Zack tries his best to wriggle free. Moments go by, but with each passing second there's more pressue put on Zack's neck, and it becomes too much to take. Zack's struggling becomes less and less, as his legs give and he's forced down to his knees! COLE Faqu is pushing down hard on the neck, any more force and we could see a submission! Malibu stays on his knees, his upper body being pushed forward due to the lock on his neck. Faqu keeps the full nelson applied, because with such minimal effort it's giving his body a chance to rejuvenate. He puts the pressure on, but Malibu begins to fight back, again trying to shake free before trying to push up off his knees...but Faqu cancels any plans of a comeback by yanking Malibu off his knees and planting him with a full nelson slam! Malibu slams down on the canvas, and the big man hits the ropes and comes off with a big splash, crushing Malibu under his body weight! ONE! TW-NO! CABOOSE First pinfall of the contest by the challenger, or by anyone for that matter, and he barely got two. COLE I don't think anyone, including us, expected Malibu to go down too soon. Faqu pries Zack off the canvas, trapping him in a front facelock and using that tactic to again wear Malibu down. He then segues into a vertical suplex, but Malibu slips out and shoves Faqu to the ropes...but the big man barrells off and nails Zack with a thunderous shoulderblock! Faqu then hits the ropes again, but Malibu rolls onto his stomach, forcing Faqu to continue running the ropes. Faqu comes off again, and Malibu leaps up for a leapfrog...but instead of going under the move, Faqu catches Zack out of the air, and puts him across his shoulders, again for a Death Valley Driver! CABOOSE He's got him, he's got...NO! Malibu wriggles free from the finisher once again, and wraps his arms around Faqu's waist, trying to use a German suplex, but Faqu elbows out of it, cracking Malibu in the jaw! Faqu turns around and ties up with a collar and elbow lockup, pulling Malibu away from the ropes, then hits a European uppercut that dazes Malibu long enough for Faqu to snare him by the head and run him across the ring, bieling him headfirst into the wall of the cage! COLE THERE'S the breakdown, right there. It's all out the window now! Malibu is down, and Faqu stands over him, reaching down and pulling his now bleeding head up and goes to work, crossfacing him repeatedly! Faqu then pulls him to his feet, then yanks Zack's head back, snapping him down to the canvas before hitting the ropes once again, and coming off with a kneedrop to the cut open forehead of the HI-YAH Champion! Malibu convulses on the canvas, as Faqu hits the ropes again, and delivers another big splash to Malibu, again staying on top of him for the count! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH Dammit...he's persistent, can't ever say he's not! Faqu again helps Malibu to his feet, but then takes him down the hard way, this time courtesy of a gutwrench suplex. Faqu then drags Zack to the corner, and with Malibu dazed and bleeding, the big man ascends the turnbuckles, setting himself up for flight! COLE We know that Faqu is more than capable of taking to the air, and...wait, wait! Faqu, climbing the ropes with his back to his opponent, doesn't see Zack roll to his feet. In an act of desperation, Malibu lunges forward and shoves the Samoan's legs out from under him, crotching him on the top rope! Malibu then pulls his friend/foe down into the tree of woe, and starts brutalizing him with kicks, as the sight of his own blood has put Zack into a rage! CABOOSE He's got Faqu trapped in the tree of woe, and now he's cutting loose on him! Malibu backs up, then charges forward, letting out a primal scream before driving his knee into the exposed ribs of the upside down Samoan! He then spins himself around and heads to the far corner before charging again, this time leaping into the air and coming down with a hesitation dropkick to the jaw of the strong style monster! Malibu then crawls towards Faqu, jabbing at his head while Faqu flails his arms, trying to deflect the blows from his unfortunate position, but Malibu grabs him by the head and pushes him up, then yanks him off the ropes by his head and drops him hard on the canvas! COACH DAMN! That's one way to get out of the tree of woe! Malibu then moves into a ground and pound, clubbing Faqu across the head before standing up and hitting a legdrop on his rival! Malibu stands up, and then quickly drops an elbow, then again, then repeats the process a third time, connecting with all three elbowdrops before pulling Faqu up and summoning the strength to hoist him up and over with a snap suplex! Malibu then hits the ropes and leaps high into the air, crashing down with a fourth elbowdrop onto Faqu that draws loud applause from the crowd as he covers for a pin! ONE! TWO! NO! COLE Faqu getting a shoulder up there, but Malibu has now come to terms that he needs to be relentless...that this isn't a match between two friends anymore! Right on cue, Malibu brings Faqu up and hurls him through the ropes, into the small crevice between rope and cage. Zack follows suit, and takes Faqu by the head, grating his face along the steel wall before ramming him repeatedly into it! Faqu starts to slump down, so Malibu steps back into the ring, then drags Faqu back in by his ankles, and now does exactly what was done to him earlier, as he delivers some crossfaces of his own to Faqu! Once Zack finishes with that, he picks Faqu up and delivers a hard chop, then wrenches the arm, drops an elbow on the bicep, and strikes with another hard chop before running the ropes and coming off with a high bicycle kick that puts Faqu on his back, staring at the ceiling! CABOOSE He drilled him with those educated feet. I think all professionalism and sportsmanship is out the window now, boys. As soon as those words are uttered by Caboose, Malibu heeds to them, lifting Faqu's legs up and opening them so that he can plant a boot in the big mans midsection! Some fans boo the tactic, but Malibu doesn't bother playing to the crowd, instead focusing on the task at hand. He grabs Faqu's legs again, but this time the big man kicks free, knocking Zack down to the mat! Malibu gets right back up and goes for the legs, but again he's kicked away by Faqu, who is trying to make it to his feet. Malibu gets up just as Faqu is, and grabs him by the head, but the big man powers out of Zack's attempt and lifts him off his feet, carrying him across the ring before dropping him across the top strand of rope crotch first! "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" COLE Yep, no sportsmanship in that move whatsoever! COACH But it got Zack off his back! Malibu dangles dangerously, a look of hurt emblazoned across his face. Groggy, Faqu approaches again, and with Malibu reeling from having his special place dropped across the cable, the Samoan opens up with chops to the defending HI-YAH Champion, rattling him with every shot until a fourth chop knocks Malibu off his unwanted perched, and he collapses down to the area between the ropes and the cage wall! CABOOSE Malibu's down and out right now, and there's no rolling out of the ring for a rest here tonight. Faqu backs off and uses Malibu's aching to get in some recovery time of his own, all while keeping Malibu in his sights. Soon enough, the Preppy One begins struggling to his feet, using the ropes as an aid in doing so...but once he's up the Samoan charges, shooting his upper body through the ropes and SPEARING MALIBU AGAINST THE CAGE WALL~!~! COACH YO~! COLE Zack Malibu...he just got PLASTERED against that wall of steel that's surrounding the ring! "FAH-QU~!" "FAH-QU~!" "FAH-QU~!" CABOOSE Listen to these fans! I think they sense the Samoan is en route to victory! After shaking off the effects of driving his body weight into his opponent, Faqu reaches down over the ropes, grasping for Malibu and pulling him up. He lifts him up in suplex position, but holds him, and walks back a few steps, closer to the wide open space of the ring...and then DROPS Zack right on his head with a devestating brainbuster! COLE Faqu completes the trifecta of targeting the neck, back and head, and in spectacularly brutal fashion! Faqu rolls onto Malibu, and even runs his forearm into Malibu's face as he pins him down...but as the referee's hand hits the mat for the first time, the determined Samoan notices something other than Malibu's shoulder starting to rise for a kickout. COACH YO...I mean...yeah, YO, what are they doing out here!? The crowd's attention turns not to Malibu's escape of defeat, but to the aisleway, as Bloodshed, Bruce Blank, and Todd Cortez, the least favorite people in the OAOAST locker room, have made their way out...not to mention Blank is brandishing his favored barbed wire baseball bat! COLE They have no right...NO RIGHT being out here! Zack told them to stay out of it. COACH THAT'S your reasoning? That ZACK said for them not to come out? It's a setup Cole, plain and simple! The Wildcards slowly walk the aisle, and after Zack kicks out at two from the brainbuster, Faqu gets up and looks through the cage wall, then waves The Wildcards on, daring them to see what they can do! COLE He's...he's INVITING them to the ring, but with the cage up...that's why... CABOOSE What the...who just ran by us? Someone hopped the rail! The crowd is buzzing once again, this time because THE HOOLIGANS have come through the crowd on the other side of the arena, and have hit ringside! In a shocking turn of events, the arrival of Static, Jax, and even Jamie O'Hara, last seen getting stapled alive, draws a pop from the crowd...and ESPECIALLY when they block the doorway to the steel cage! COLE The Hooligans, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad to see them! COACH Yeah boys! What now, Wildcards!? The Wildcards back off, although Blank is still snickering about what's going down. The Hooligans flank the ringside area, making sure no one gets to the cage, because now it's all about Zack and Faqu, and who the better man will be. Inside the cage walls, Faqu picks Zack up for a second brainbuster, or maybe a suplex...but whatever it is, it's avoided, and Malibu lands behind him, and hits a quick German suplex, surprising the Samoan! ONE! TWO! Faqu rolls a shoulder, but as he does that, Malibu simply rolls to his feet, using all his energy to pull the big man up, and drop him with another German suplex! Rather than try for the pin, Malibu continues the chain, rolling through the move and dropping him with a third German suplex before rolling to his feet once again, this time hooking one of Faqu's arm with his own, trapping him in a half nelson...and then throwing Faqu backwards, dropping him on the back of his head and neck with a release half nelson suplex! "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" CABOOSE Nevermind wrestling, these two are going to be stuck facing off in wheelchair basketball after this match! Malibu rolls Faqu onto his back, and sets him up in position near the ropes. Zack then climbs the turnbuckles, pausing for a moment to look outside at The Wildcards, who are looking on with smiles, as the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion leaps from the top, and crashes down on the big man with a flying legdrop! Malibu hooks the leg, and the referee is right there for the count. ONE! TWO! THR-NO! NO! SHOULDER UP! COLE He kicked out! Frustrated, Malibu slams his hands on the canvas, and picks Faqu right back up, not wasting any time in shooting him to the corner. Faqu crashes, and Malibu charges right in...but the big man fires off an elbow that knocks Zack back a step or two. Malibu takes it, then charges in again...right into another elbow from Faqu! This time he takes Zack by the head and readies himself on the middle rope, and sets off with a tornado DDT...but Malibu blocks the move and then powers forward, pushing Faqu across the ring and into the far corner! Malibu then opens up with repeated shoulderblocks on Faqu, then takes him out of the corner and sets up for his own tornado DDT...but Faqu counters his by throwing Zack off, and then nails him with a jumping enzugiri as he makes his way towards him again! Both men are down, but the crowd is on their feet, applauding the gusto of both men as they lay down, recuperating! COLE A lot of energy has been exerted by both men. It's all going to come down to that one fatal blow! Malibu and Faqu soak up whatever energy they can muster as they lay under the bright lights of the arena, with fans, friends and foes all watching on. Almost simultaneously they both push up, both on spaghetti legs...and turn towards each other...AND THAT'S WHEN MALIBU CONNECTS WITH SCHOOL'S OUT! CABOOSE THERE'S THAT FATAL BLOW, MICHAEL! Zack collapses atop Faqu, desperately pulling back on his leg to keep him down, as the crowd chants along with the count. ONE! TWO! THREENO! NO! NO! KICKOUT BY FAQU! COLE HE KICKED OUT! COACH DAMN! The Wildcards look shocked, while The Hooligans gleefully smirk at their bitter rivals. Malibu is disappointed, taking a deep breath because he was just unable to put away the savage with one of his trademark winning moves. He takes Faqu by a handful of hair and drags him to his feet, slapping him lightly as if to get his attention before hitting the ropes...AND RUNNING RIGHT INTO A HARD TWISTING POWERSLAM! Faqu bounces off of Zack and rolls away, leaving him cringing in pain on the canvas. Faqu slowly gets up, visibly favoring his jaw from the School's Out. Malibu pushes up on all fours, but Faqu delivers a running soccer kick to knock Malibu over, then reaches down and picks him up. He sets him for a back suplex, but Zack floats over and spins Faqu around...BUT FAQU REACTS FASTER, PICKING ZACK UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS... ...DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON ZACK MALIBU~!~! COLE I think THAT might be your fatal blow, 'boose! Faqu covers, and the crowd breaks from their roar to count along with the referee's hands. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE He's done it! Faqu has won the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title! The crowd is ecstatic. The Hooligans seem pleased. The Wildcards, however, are disgusted, as the look on their faces tells that they are not happy with what has just transpired. Meanwhile, the referee helps Faqu to his feet and raises his hand, as the door to the cage opens so that Michael Buffer can hand over the championship belt before making the announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner, and the NEEEEEEEEEEEW HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...FAAAAAAAAAAAQUUUUUUUUUU! "My Own Summer" plays, but you're barely able to hear it, as the crowd response is wonderful, perhaps the biggest Faqu has gotten in his life. He kisses the center medallion of the belt and then raises it up high, walking to all four sides of the ring to show it off. He saves the aisleway for last, rubbing the belt in the Wildcards faces before putting it over his shoulder and turning away. As he turns, Malibu starts to come up to his knees, holding his head and neck, and with his last ounce of energy, extends a hand to Faqu. COLE Malibu...say what you want about what's gone on lately, but he's got respect. Faqu looks at the hand, and unlike earlier in the night where he slapped it away, this time he simply turns away and exits the cage, leaving Malibu alone. CABOOSE Well he's got the belt, but obviously their friendship needs some work! Faqu exits the cage, first eyeing The Hooligans and giving them a polite nod for their backup. He then turns to The Wildcards, who stare right back at him, and then he walks by, eyeing Blank in particular. The Hooligans follow suit, making sure Faqu's got backup if he needs it, but The Wildcards stay put...except for Cortez, who races to the ring. COLE So much for keeping out of Zack's business. Now here comes Cortez to help Zack. CABOOSE Malibu...man, what are you doing with these guys? Zack, who can barely stand, is aided by Cortez, who starts to help him up...but Zack shoves him away! COLE I don't think he's doing anything, Caboose, look at this! Cortez again tries to help, but Malibu pushes him away again, and now Cortez starts taking it personally. He leans over Malibu and tells him he's just trying to help, and starts to help him to his feet again... ...AND THEN TODD CORTEZ SPIKES ZACK MALIBU WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!~!~!~!~! CABOOSE WHAT THE HELL!? On cue, Bloodshed and Blank storm the cage, with Bloodshed shoving the referee down before shutting the door behind them and locking it! Bloodshed then waves the key around, showing that he stole it from the referee, and then tosses it over the cage wall, out somewhere into the crowd! COLE What are they...no...NO! Blank and Bloodshed eye Cortez, who looks back, and then drags a lifeless Malibu to his feet, shoving him forward...RIGHT INTO A BARBED WIRE BAT SHOT TO THE RIBS~! CABOOSE DAMMIT! Malibu drops and keels over, his abdominal area start to bleed due to the open cuts. As he clutches at his ribs, Blank tells everyone to back up, and then cocks the bat over his head, bringing it down hard across the shoulder blades of Zack Malibu! COACH They're...I mean...I... COLE If the tie wasn't cut before, it's damn SEVERED now! After dropping Zack with the second shot, Blank hands the bat over to Bloodshed, who sits on Zack's back and takes the bat longways, raking the wire into the forehead flesh of the former HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion! Malibu screams in pain as Bloodshed rakes the bat back and forth, causing blood to cake up on the wire, and drip onto the canvas! Blank and Cortez stand over this all and talk trash, and when Bloodshed removes the bat, Blank stomps Zack in the head with his cowboy boot before taking back his prized weapon, now stained with the blood of the OAOAST's favorite son. COLE Malibu, I...I don't know what to say, this is... CABOOSE This is MANSLAUGHTER, Cole! Premeditated manslaughter! Again, Cortez yanks the body of Malibu off the canvas, standing him up so Blank can look him in the eye and tell him "you don't own us" while goozling him. He pushes Malibu back, and now Cortez grabs him by the head and falls to the canvas, trapping Zack in the Street Dreams, while Blank starts jabbing the end of the bat into Zack's ribs! COLE Someone...someone has to help him! CABOOSE WHO? Who is going to help Malibu!? He brought this on himself! I hate to say it...I hate to...but he brought these guys here, and now he's paying the price for it! Cortez doesn't need much effort to put Zack out, as Zack was nearly there. He throws Zack off of him, and together the three Wildcards put their feet to work, stomping Malibu into oblivion before Bloodshed drops to the canvas and turns Malibu onto his back, pounding him just like he did to Scotty Static and staining his fists and forearms with the blood of the prep. The fans look on in horror, and garbage starts filling the ring, or bouncing off the cage walls, while Blank and Cortez parade around, taunting the fans who disprove of their tactics. COLE This is too much! We have...we have to get him out of there! Once again, Zack is pulled up to his feet, with an arm held by Bloodshed and Cortez. Blank spits into his hands and rubs 'em together, then cocks the bat again, running with it and smashing it against Zack's forehead, causing blood to spray over the other two Wildcards, who seem to take plesaure in it! CABOOSE Zack...I don't...look at him... Not an inch of flesh isn't covered with blood, and it's a grisly sight for all...except for The Wildcards, who have enjoyed what they've just done. Finally, whether it's out of mercy or pure boredom, Blank, Cortez, and Bloodshed start climbing the cage wall to exit, with Blank leaving his bat behind as a memory for Malibu. Right next to him, the very weapon that just put Zack Malibu through the worst hell of his life lays stained with his blood, as our cameras fade out on what's left of Zack Malibu. Fade to black Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2006 CREDITS: King Cucaracha Alfdogg Zack Malibu The Amazing Rando Bruce Blank Masked Man of Mystery LiveFastDieNever Ed Wood Caulfield © 2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All Rights Reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
