PROMO - Those Kooky Canucks

[Guest]

The camera fades in, providing a terrible view, the eye barely able to make out any details, as apparently Ben Hardy and his cameraman are in the middle of a darkened room. Hardy's voice can be heard, as he searches through the darkness.

 

"Okay, the camera's on, right.... I don't get it, this is the office we were supposed to meet him in, and... OW! Geez, I rammed my toe into this.... what is this, a desk? Hey, watch it!"

 

Suddenly, the camera rolls end over end, cameraman bumping into Ben, picture rattling, lights flickering on, and the view on the screen becomes a closeup view of a face. But not just any face, no. This face belongs to a beaver.

 

Recovering the camera from where it has fallen on the desk, the cameraman steps back, and the view of the room becomes clear, a dimly lit office, the beaver settled comfortably on top of a wide desk next to a name plaque reading simply 'General'. Stepping into the shot, Ben Hardy speaks into his microphone, addressing the back of the chair behind the desk, turned away from him still.

 

"Umm.... excuse, me, General......"

 

Suddenly, the chair swivels about, revealing the figure seated therein. Only the light in the room isn't complete, a dark swath cutting across the general's body, keeping his face hidden.

 

"Just General, Mr. Hardy. I'm glad to see you made it. From what I heard of your reputation, I expected perhaps that you might get locked in a closet on your way here."

 

"Now, listen here, I don't think that's quite...."

 

Cutting Hardy off again, the figure leans forward, one hand reaching across the desk to scratch behind the beaver's ears, gently stroking the small animal's back. "It's extremely fair, my friend. You are merely here to hear what I have to say, so I would appreciate it if you listen closely. I have an announcement for the fans of the SJL. I am here, on a mission. I am here with my operative, C.I.A. A man specially trained, ready for combat with the best this league has to offer, and to show all the fans out there a little Canadian hospitality."

 

Leaning close over the desk, Hardy reaches out one hand towards the beaver, only to recoil as the animal growls at him.

 

Chuckling a bit, the General once more scratches the beaver behind the ears, continuing his speech. "Now now, Mr. Hardy, you've nothing to worry about. Pierre won't bite. Much like C.I.A., he's quite friendly. Although I'll admit, I don't like you much at all, and I've only known you three minutes. This matter is simple. Canadians are a fun loving people, mostly. But we can be serious, as well. Coming up on this week's Metal, C.I.A. has orders, to step into the ring against a sadistic opponent in Fugue. And to show everyone in the SJL just what he can do."

 

Turning his chair about once more, the General's voice rings out. "Our organization is here to make friends, of the fans, and those wrestlers who deserve our respect. And to be a powerful enemy to those who do not. Now get out of my office. I've left you something of a present outside."

 

Stammering a bit, Ben Hardy begins to leave the small office, camera man backing out of the room first. As Hardy exits the room, the door closes behind him, and he stares at it for a moment before turning back to the camera. "Well, there you have it, folks. An.... interesting encounter, not with our new SJL talent, but instead with a man who apparently gives him his orders. This is Ben Hardy..."

 

Without warning, from above, a rush of sticky, brown fluid comes crashing down, covering Hardy from head to toe. Dabbing one finger in the liquid, Hardy gives it an experimental taste, and sighs. "This is Ben Hardy, covered in maple syrup. Turn off the damn camera."

 

Barely holding back his laughter, the cameraman flicks the switch, and the screen fades to black.

[Guest]

Nice going, dude. Looking forward to see more from you!

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

(Y) @ funny Canadians and maple syrup.

[Guest Suicide King]

I very much like the Blofeld with a beaver vibe.