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KingPK

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 8/10/06

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You can tell it's a serious and sombre start, when HeldDOWN~! gets the cold opening. And that's exactly what we've got tonight as we open in the parking lot to see the OAOAST 24/7 Champion Leon Rodez entering the arena. Slapping the security guard on the shoulder and flashing a thumbs up on a good job, Leon hauls his bag behind him as he enters the arena and finds himself confronted by a microphone weilding Josh Matthews.

 

MATTHEWS

Leon, a momentous night in OAOAST history, can we get some comments from you on the hot topic of conversation, Zack Malibu?

 

RODEZ

I'm not sure it's my place to comment. But...you know, it's a real shame. Sure, he stepped over the line... way over the line. But Zack's a good person.

 

For a moment there's an awkward silence, which takes Leon a little by surprise. After all, interviewers are supposed to be talkative by their very nature. It's a weird night, see.

 

MATTHEWS

I doubt many would agree with that sentiment right now, but...

 

RODEZ

That's the problem, see. I've known his bad side and I've known his good side, we were Champions together and we were enemies and the fact is what he did was totally out of character for either one. Zack's no psycho. He's no threat to human life...(laughs to self)...I mean come on, he's a father now. He just...look, the guy was provoked and provoked. He's put up with so much crap from so many people and he's held back and held back but those Smartmark guys crossed the line. They didn't just step over it, they did it with a skip in their step. Zack's actions were a complete moment of madness. Breaking into his house and threatening his newborn baby and it's mother was pre-meditated and calculated. Cold blooded. And yet, it's so typical of everyone to turn a blind eye to that and jump on the popular bandwagon of making a scapegoat out of someone for one solitary mistake, no matter how much worthwhile they've done in the past. Months and months of the SWF guys making Zack's life a living hell and not one person in this company stood up for him. Not one...

 

Pausing for a moment, Leon hangs his head a little.

 

RODEZ

Not even me.

 

Leon looks back up, far more serious than you'd normally expect from him. Turning to Josh, Leon takes a deep, audible sigh before continuing.

 

RODEZ

What Zack did was wrong. I've got as long of a fuse and temper as anyone, so I can't really identify with him and how he reacted. But...well, I just hope it hasn't really come to this. Because if this really is the end of Zack Malibu in the OAOAST, then there's a lot of people that have failed him who are gonna look at themselves in the mirror tommorrow morning and feel pretty ashamed of themselves. And I'll be top of the list.

 

With a sorrowful look to Josh, Rodez walks off the set, perhaps forgetting that was supposed to be part one of the interview. But he's long gone by the time Josh really notices, so the crack interviewer, perhaps a little guilty himself, waves for a cut to the opening video package.

 

HDLOGOBD.jpg

 

It's the top of the hour (hey, it actually is! How about that?), and as soon as our scheduled program begins, we are given a wide shot of the arena, with one man standing in the center of the wrestling ring. Lining the aisleway and the ringside area are numerous OAOAST superstars and employees. D*LUX. Otaku. James Blonde. Faqu. Los Diablos Del Fuego. Longdogger Pete. The entire Lightning Crew. The Hooligans. Black T. Leon Rodez. Michael Cole and Coach, sans their headsets, stand tall over at Sofa Central. Faces and heels, friends and foes alike, are all in attendance for what promises to be the most emotional segment in HeldDOWN~! history. Standing in the ring, clutching a microphone and staring at the fans chanting his name, causing him to grow misty-eyed, is Zack Malibu.

 

"MAL-AH-BU!"

"MAL-AH-BU!"

"MAL-AH-BU!"

 

All of those in attendance are on their feet as well, cheering loudly for the company hero, who tonight, has come to say goodbye. Numerous "Please Don't Go!", "Don't Fire Zack!", "We Love Zack", and other signs of that nature are visible and held high, as the chants eventually settle down to allow Malibu the time to address everybody.

 

ZACK

Thank you. Thank you everybody. I appreciate the reception tonight, I really do. I'd be lying if I told you it wasn't going to make what I have to say tonight harder on me.

 

Zack pauses, and takes a deep breath, as if he needs to get up the courage to speak.

 

ZACK

I'd first like to start out by apologizing for my actions last week. I realize that a line was crossed, and I need to take responsibility for my actions. I acted selfishly and irrationally, concerned only with my personal vendetta, and not of the safety of my fellow wrestlers, arena staff, fans, or anybody else in attendance. So to those of you who I have offended in any way, I offer a heartfelt apology to you. I'm very sorry.

 

The crowd and wrestlers respectfully clap, which spurns a loud "Don't Be Sorry!" chant, as everybody knows exactly why Zack did what he did one week ago, and seem to understand why completely.

 

ZACK

Now, um...what...what I have to say to you now is not going to be easy, so please bear with me. I...I, uh...

 

Malibu now begins to choke up, unable to speak. The cameras close in as tears well in his eyes, and he wipes them away before continuing.

 

ZACK

I, um...I came out here tonight to say goodbye to all of you.

 

Malibu bites his lip and lowers his head, and whatever words he wants to get out next are blocked by the chants of the fans.

 

"PLEASE DON'T GO!"

"PLEASE DON'T GO!"

"PLEASE DON'T GO!"

 

Malibu looks out to the crowd, now openly crying in the center of the ring. The cameras pan the faces of the OAOAST superstars at ringside, many of them also getting caught up in this emotional moment.

 

ZACK

I...I didn't want it to end this way. I just...I had to protect my family, you know? A baby girl...my baby daughter...and she...she's young enough that she'll forget what happened to her. She's the lucky one, because now every night of my life I have to go to sleep knowing that I won't get the chance to make it up to her. To make it up to Candie, and to everyone who stood by me throughout my whole career...I'm so sorry I won't get to make it up to you.

 

Malibu now breaks down, his crying echoed via the microphone. Fans are crying as well, as Malibu goes over to the corner and puts his head down, trying to regain his composure. He stands up and walks across the ring again, once again trying to speak without his voice cracking under the emotion.

 

ZACK

I have had an amazing career in this company. I have been to the top of the mountain, and I have been fortunate enough to have taken part in matches that will be remembered generations from now. I am fortunate enough to have established a bond with this company that I hope will remain strong on a personal level as my professional bond with it ends. I...I'm sorry, once again, for the damage my actions may have caused. I will never forget what this company did for me, and the impact it had on my life. I will never forget the reactions, the support, or the well wishes from you fans out there. I will never forget my peers...my fellow workers, who I'm hoping will continue to establish the OAOAST as a wrestling superpower. Each one of you has something to offer to this company, or else you wouldn't be here. All of you are integral parts of this machine, and don't ever forget it. Don't ever let your efforts slip, because I put 110% of myself into this company, and I hope you all will too.

 

The wrestlers and the crowd applaud, as Malibu stands at center ring again.

 

ZACK

With all that said...I don't want to take up much more of your time tonight. I never...I never thought it'd come down to this, and...

 

Knowing he needs to say goodbye, it becomes that much harder for Malibu, as he cries and falls to a knee, holding his head in his hands. Malibu continues to cry until Leon Rodez hops up on the apron and enters the ring, followed by the three Hooligans, and then both members of Black T. Rodez puts a hand on Zack's shoulder to get his attention, and when Zack stands up, the former World Tag Team Champions embrace to a standing ovation. Rodez breaks away, and Malibu turns to The Hooligans, who have never been his greatest allies, but who have respected him. Malibu embraces each of them, and soon enough the ring starts to fill with OAOAST talent, as each one wants to pay their respects to the man who made it all possible for them. Malibu makes time for everyone individually, as many of the superstars are getting emotional at what is taking place. Finally, Zack Malibu picks up the microphone one last time.

 

ZACK

Everybody, thank you for everything. Thank you for the respect, for the support, and for following my dream and helping make it happen. Thank you.

 

Not one fan is left sitting down, as the arena gives Malibu a standing ovation as he continues to exchange parting words with the OAOAST superstars. A loud "Zack" chant comes over the crowd as they stand, clap, and cheer for the man who without a doubt did more for the OAOAST than any other member of the company did. As Malibu finishes his goodbyes, the sea of wrestlers parts, and Tony Brannigan and Leon Rodez hold the ropes open for Malibu to step out onto the apron. Zack does, and looks around through his teary eyes, as the wrestlers work the fans into one final ovation for Malibu. Crying, Zack hops off the apron and starts up the aisleway...

 

...and then we hear the sound of "Medal" (Kurt Angle's Theme)?!!??!

 

IT'S ANGLESAULT~?!?!??! ANGLESAULT IS HERE ON HELDDOWN~!

 

Dressed in a dapper suit, George Steinbrenner's favorite wrestler comes storming down the aisle, pointing at Zack and waving for him to "get back in that ring!" as he puts it. The fans are cheering loudly, but no one else seems to know what to make of this, as they are all appropriately shocked. Anglesault comes down the aisle and stands face to face with Zack Malibu, and the two engage in a huge hug which leads to another huge cheer, before Anglesault turns Zack around and leads him into the ring. Anglesault brushes wrestlers out of the way and calls for the microphone, while the rest of the arena is absolutley shocked at his appearance.

 

ANGLESAULT

I know this comes as a bit of surprise to you all, and I'm not here to take advantage of anyone's airtime here, nor did I come to say goodbye...because Zack Malibu is NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

 

The fans ROAR, but Malibu is now even more shocked.

 

ANGLESAULT

I don't care who is in the "authority figure" position, because around here that seems to change on a weekly basis. I don't care what the legal department says, or what deals were struck. What you have here is a man who was purposely pushed to the limit by certain parties, and wanted nothing more than to make things right for his family. You hear that...HIS FAMILY. They went after a young lady, and a newborn baby girl, and if it were any other one of you, you'd have done the SAME THING Zack did last week, am I right? If it were your families, wouldn't you have felt the way Zack did?

 

Anglesault's question is met with applause, and many of the wrestlers nod their heads as well.

 

ANGLESAULT

So let me make it perfectly clear...this company bears my name. You might not see me in action anymore, or even involved in the corporate structure, but when it comes down to it, it's still MY name on the marquee, and it's MY name that sells...but it's THIS MAN, Zack Malibu, who has held this company in place. It's Zack Malibu who has done more for this company than even I...it's got my name, but it has his heart, his soul, his sweat, his tears...this is ZACK MALIBU'S company as much as it is mine, and I will be damned if I was going to sit home tonight and watch this man say goodbye to us. Let me make it perfectly clear, because I've already had talks in the back with the legal department, and my lawyers, who are the best money can buy. I told them in no uncertain terms that if Zack Malibu left the OAOAST tonight, that I would pull my namesake, my likeness, the rights to my name...all of that would disappear, and you'd be left with what? The OAOT? Not exactly marketable, is it? I told them that I would distance myself from this company as far as I possibly could, because I would not lend my name to a company that disassociated itself with the man who did more for it than any other person walking this Earth. So just to make it perfectly clear...Zack Malibu is NOT retiring tonight, Zack Malibu is NOT leaving the OAOAST tonight...I mean, not unless he wants to...and I think we know the answer to that question!

 

The fans go wild as Zack, still reeling from the shock of his onetime rival turned longtime friend saving his career, makes it clear he's staying put.

 

ANGLESAULT

Now you guys have a show to run, and I've got a plane to catch, so let's get this HeldDOWN~! going, right!?

 

The fans roar, as Anglesault nods his head.

 

ANGLESAULT

Oh wait...before I forget, before I go, there is one other thing. Zack, I know there's something you want more than anything. It's not just a chance to stay here, but a chance to make things right. For your family, for your fans...for everyone. So let me ask you this...you want Bruce Blank, Zack?

 

Zack nods his head, and The Hooligans surround Zack, shouting words of encouragement.

 

ANGLESAULT

I thought you might, so that's why I did one last thing for you before I go. At ANGLESLAM...in his first match back in months, this man, right here Zack Malibu WILL be in action...AGAINST BRUCE BLANK, NO RULES NECESSARY!

 

A HUGE roar comes up from the crowd now, as Malibu and Anglesault hug once again, this time piled on by the united superstars of the OAOAST, who all support Malibu's quest for redemption due to what The Wildcards put his family through. Anglesault exits the ring with the mic in hand, and stops at ringside to say one final thing.

 

ANGLESAULT

Ladies and gentlemen, there's no need to say goodbye...so say WELCOME BACK to ZACK MALIBU!

 

"WELCOME BACK!"

"WELCOME BACK!"

"WELCOME BACK!"

 

Malibu is quickly scooped up onto the shoulders of James Blonde and Faqu, as the OAOAST rallies around him. The fans cheers are deafening as they don't have to say goodbye to their hero...and backstage tonight, there are at least a few people not happy with this shocking turn of events.

 

Commercial break

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COLE

Fans, after a shocking announcement, we welcome you to HeldDOWN~! I'm Michael Cole along with the Coach, and I still can't believe I saw Anglesault, the man this company is named for, return to the ring and reinstate Zack Malibu!

 

COACH

How the hell can he do that? Zack nearly committed cold-blooded MURDER on live television and he's being carried out of the ring like he just won the title again!

 

COLE

You can do anything with a good attorney, I guess. But the biggest news is that finally, FINALLY Zack Malibu will get his hands on Bruce Blank in less than three weeks time at AngleSlam from Miami. If I was Blank, I'd make sure my life insurance was paid up.

 

COACH

This is going to be one of the few times that I'm actually going to agree with you, Cole. Bruce Blank has pushed Zack past the breaking point and he's going to unleash hell on him August 27th.

 

COLE

We're just getting started on a jam-packed show for you tonight, including THREE big main events. First, as you heard earlier, the man that we were just talking about, Bruce Blank, will take on the monster Gibraltar inside a 15-foot high steel cage! Also, Thunderkid and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Alfdogg will take on the man he will face at AngleSlam, Drek Stone, and Hoff in a tag team match. And finally, we will have the HeldDOWN debut of the match voted PPV Match of the Year in 2005, the Torneo Cibernetico! Ten OAOAST stars split into teams of five will do battle and we'll go over the participants and the rules a bit later on. But right now, you see the cage is set, so let's get on with the action on HeldDOWN~!

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

The following match is a CAGE MATCH!! Where you can win by escaping the cage or pinning your opponent. Introducing first. . .

 

"Well every time that I come home nobody wants to let me be

Seems that all the friends I got just got to come interrogate me

Well I appreciate your feelings and I don't want to pass you by

But I don’t ask you about your business don't ask me about mine"

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Hailing from Mobile, Alabama and representing the Wildcards he is the SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION BRUUUUUUUUUUUCEEEEEEE BLANK!!!

 

WHITEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! WHITEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!!

 

The crowd in Louisville all being to boo and jeer and look around for something to throw as the leader of the Wildcards and one of the most universally hated men in wrestling steps into the arena and then heads for the cage.

 

COLE

These Wildcarders have been allowed to run free for too damn long!

 

COACH

So are you saying that you approve of Axel’s decision and that he makes a good boss?

 

COLE

Well I agree that Bruce needs the biggest asskicking ever invented

 

COACH

. . . and that he’s a good boss?

 

COLE

Let’s not push it.

 

"Well it's true I love the money

And I love my brand new car

I like drinking the best of whiskey

Playin’ in a Honky Tonk bar"

 

To say that Bruce looks pissed off is an understatement, he’s so fuming mad right now that he couldn’t be in a New York bar due to their new "no smoking" rules.

 

COACH

There is a face not even a mother could love

 

COLE

The look of a bulldog chewing on a wasp you mean?

 

Bruce stops on the ring steps for a second and adjusts his black SWF Sweat Shirt before reluctantly stepping into the cage. Once he’s inside Bruce reaches over and grabs the side of the cage, shaking it to test how sturdy the construction is.

 

"So, don't ask me no questions

And I won't tell you no lies

So, don't ask me about my business

And I won't tell you goodbye"

 

WHITEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!! WHITEEEEEEEEEEEE TRASH!!

 

COACH

No matter how you slice it, Bruce is in trouble tonight

 

COLE

GOOD!

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

And his opponent

 

SAINT ANDREW

Yeah that’ll be quite enough of you Buffer, I’ll handle this!

 

Saint Andrew steps through the curtains with a grin on his face as he shoos Michael Buffer away.

 

SAINT ANDREW

You all know who’s coming down the aisle, a man so large that he blocks the sun wherever he walks. A man so powerful that he juggles with elephants just to get a good work out, a man who had he remained in Israel would have kicked the Lebanese back to the stoneage already

 

COLE

Politics in Wrestling? There is no politics in wrestling!!

 

COACH

Besides it went straight over the head of the people of Nashville, it’s not in the US and there is no oil involved - they don’t care.

 

There's a ghost in my bed.

She cries in her sleep

she says I won't let her leave

I lie perfectly still

she stifles her tears

I don't want to disturb her

 

SAINT ANDREW

Bruce Blank. . . Say hello to your worst nightmare, a nightmare called GIBRALTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR!!

 

"Let go, let go, please let me be

Look at the ghost you've made of me"

 

The dim green spotlight falls on the monster of a man as he walks out and heads straight for the cage with a single-mindedness hardly ever seen. The big man actually hears more than a few cheers tonight, yes he’s a monster, yes he’s a bastard but he’s an OAOAST bastard and he’s going to inflict some serious damage on Bruce Blank

 

COACH

I can’t wait to see this guy take Bruce’s cowboy hat and shove it up his ass!! Then wring the ass into a ball and bounce it all over the place

 

COLE

You won’t hear me complain JB. . . I mean Coach.

 

Gibraltar has to duck down a bit as he steps through the cage and over the ropes. The OAOAST officials quickly lock the cage, if they want to escape it HAS to be over the top tonight. Gibraltar stands in the middle of the ring all 7’5’’ intimidating inches of him, all 502 pounds of awe-inspiring muscle.

 

FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!!

 

COACH

FUCK HIM UP!!

 

COLE

COACH!!

 

COACH

What?

 

COLE

You forgot to say "Now"

 

*DING*DING*DING*DING*

 

Gibraltar remains in the middle of the ring, just staring at Bruce as the SWF invader remains in the corner with a worried look on his face. After a couple of moments Bruce slowly approaches the big man, not sure exactly how to fight someone that much taller than himself (Now he knows how the tiny Cruiserweights feel)

 

COLE

No place to run, no place to hide - Gibraltar’s gonna getcha Bruce!

 

COACH

I’ll bet you that there are a lot of people backstage watching this one intently Cole.

 

COLE

Especially Zack Malibu

 

Bruce finally springs into action by rushing the giant and striking him across the chest with a super stiff lariat that sends Gibraltar backwards into the ropes and the cage where he slams his head against the pole that’s holding up the mesh. Bruce quickly rushes over, pushes Gibraltar down and then hooks the big man’s arms with the middle and top rope to secure the monster of a man.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

COLE

One lariat? ONE FREAKING LARIAT??

 

With his monstrous opponent trapped in the ropes Bruce grins as he flips off the crowd. Then he grabs his right sleeve and pulls it back revealing a heavy chain wrapped around his right arm which explains why he was able to hurt Gibraltar with a single lariat.

 

COLE

That cheating bastard!!

 

COACH

Come on ref do your job!

 

COLE

Unfortunately there is nothing he can do, it’s perfectly legal.

 

The King of Pain grabs the end of the chain to keep it in place as he strikes the trapped Gibraltar square in the face with another stiff, chain enhanced lariat that looks like it almost knocks the big man’s head off. After the second lariat Bruce sides the chain down his arm and wraps it around his hand instead so that he can punch Gibraltar with it

 

*KA-CHING!!*

 

The first blow rocks the giant man and also cuts him open with a long gash over the left eye. The sight of his opponent’s blood is only further incentive for Bruce to do it again, which he does without remorse, swinging and striking Gibraltar on the already opened cut

 

*KA-CHING!!*

 

COLE

Oh sick!

 

COACH

Gibraltar is wearing the proverbial Crimson Mask tonight

 

COLE

He’s helpless, Bruce is making mince meat out of him!! SOMEONE STOP THIS!!

 

With Gibraltar already bleeding like a stuck pig Bruce takes the time to run across the ring, bounce off the ropes on the opposite side to launch himself at Gibraltar

 

COACH

RIGHT IN THE MUSH!!

 

COLE

Trapped, bleeding and in pain and yet Gibraltar fights through it all

 

Bruce has run face first into Gibraltar’s HUGE right foot that the giant raised at the last moment to keep Bruce from attacking him. While Bruce is rattled Gibraltar is able to free himself from the ropes and stands back up. It doesn’t matter how big you are though, two fingers to the eyes will temporarily blind anyone - a fact that Bruce uses to his full advantage as he rakes Gibraltar’s eyes.

 

Bruce reaches down between Gibraltar’s legs and tries to lift him up for a body slam, but once he’s got him about half way up Gibraltar falls forward crushing Bruce under his 502 pounds

 

*WHAM!!*

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

COACH

Oh he’s got to do better than THAT

 

COLE

No one has been able to body slam Gibraltar and Bruce isn’t going to be the first one to do it!

 

Gibraltar just remains on top of Bruce figuring that he’s got him in a good position for a pinfall.

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

TWOO!!!

 

 

 

TH-NO!!

 

Bruce manages to break the pin, not by kicking the massive Gibraltar off but by twisting his entire body out from under the monster before the referee can hit the mat for the third time. Gibraltar slowly gets back to his feet, looking at the blood dripping from his face onto his hands, stunned at seeing his own crimson. When Bruce gets up he’s immediately grabbed around the throat by the now enraged monster and thrown

 

Nay HURLED!!

 

Through the air striking the cage back first with FORCE!

 

*CRASH!!*

 

FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!! FUCK HIM UP!!

 

Gibraltar hauls Bruce back on his feet and then HURLS Bruce face fist into the cage on the opposite side of the cage, busting the Wildcarder open at the ear.

 

COACH

I think that I speak for everyone when I say: That’s the way to do it!!

 

COLE

Man I was a little worried that Bruce would get away with it.

 

COACH

Not tonight!

 

Staggered and dazed Bruce reaches over the ropes and grabs hold of the cage door, trying his best to force it open somehow. He’s had enough, he’s done, he just wants to get the hell out of there even if it costs him the match.

 

COWARD!! COWARD!! COWARD!! COWARD!!

 

Gibraltar grabs Bruce by the mullet with both hands, drags him to the middle of the ring and then headbutts his opponent

 

*BONK!!*

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

COLE

If it was anyone else in there with Gibraltar I’d probably feel sorry for him Coach, but Bruce deserves EVERYTHING he gets

 

COACH

I’ve said that since day one Michael!

 

Gibraltar grabs Bruce by the hand and whips him hard into the ropes, catching him on the return with a monster sized SPINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BUSTA!!!

 

*BLAM!!*

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

Even though he could have probably covered Bruce Gibraltar doesn’t even attempt it, instead he gets up and heads to the corner as Saint Andrew yells at him to get back and attack Bruce. Gibraltar just waves his manager off and then climbs up the ropes using the cage for balance.

 

COLE

He’s. . . he’s leaving the cage!! He’s saying F.U. you Bruce I’m leaving you for dead.

 

COACH

Ah man I wish he’d go back and hurt that hayseed a bit more!

 

When Gibraltar gets to the top rope he stops climbing and instead turns around while balancing on the top rope with his hands on the top of the cage.

 

COLE

What the?

 

COACH

You don’t think he’s going to?

 

COLE

Yes!

 

COACH

No way, seriously?

 

COLE

YES!!

 

COACH

GO GIBRALTAR GO!!

 

The crowd comes unhinged as Gibraltar starts to fall forward (intentionally) as he goes for a top rope splash on Bruce Blank

 

That’s a 7’5’’ 502 pound monster coming off the top rope people!!

 

*WHAM!!*

 

And just missing as Bruce rolls to the ring

 

COACH

SON OF A BITCH!!

 

COLE

There is still hope King, Bruce only managed to roll out of the way he’s not back in control of the match

 

COACH

SON OF A BITCH!!

 

COLE

In fact Gibraltar seems to be doing better even though he’s obviously hurting

 

COACH

SON OF A BITCH!!

 

COLE

Yes I think we heard you the first time.

 

Bruce drags himself over to the corner as Gibraltar slowly and gingerly gets back to his feet after missing with the biggest big splash you’ll probably ever see. The man-monster staggers over towards Bruce, grabs him by the mullet and. . .

 

*WHOOOOOOOOOOOO-CHANG!!*

 

Is struck right across the face as Bruce swings the chain at him

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

COACH

SON OF A BITCH

 

COLE

Alright that time it was valid.

 

Bruce gets back to his feet, fists shaking as he looks at the giant bloodied Gibraltar staggering. Then he steps forward, resolutely reaches down and grabs Gibraltar between the legs once more and raises him up horizontally off the ground. He struggles quite a lot but he actually manages to turn the big man over and SLAM HIM TO THE CANVAS!

 

COACH

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY SLAM!!

 

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

 

Despite their hatred for Bruce seeing a 7’5’’ giant of a man picked up and slammed down does impress the crowd in Louisville. Unfortunately for Bruce he’s not really able to follow up on the body slam as he’s lurched over by the ropes, one hand on the top rope and the other holding his back in sheer agony.

 

COLE

I think he overdid it

 

COACH

Good!

 

COLE

I think the weight was just too much for his back

 

COACH

GOOD! Serves the fucker right, come on big man you can still win this!!

 

There is hardly any motion in the ring as Bruce is trying his best to not pass out from the pain and Gibraltar is still reeling from the shock of actually being slammed down. As a testament to just how bad a shape Bruce is in right now it’s actually Gibraltar that starts to move first as he drags himself to his feet using the cage.

 

COLE

Come on you big bastard!!

 

COACH

You should be glad he can’t hear you Cole

 

Gibraltar grabs Bruce by the mullet and the back of his jeans, lets out a bestial guttural roar and hurls Bruce across the ring, clearing the top rope completely as he strikes the side of the cage

 

*CRASH!!*

 

COLE

HOLY SHIT!!

 

The impact knocks the side of the cage off it’s hinges as they simply snap from the excessive force. The side of the cage falls down with Bruce on top of it, crashing against the ground and then rolling off the section of cage as everyone looks on in shock and awe.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

* DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*

 

COACH

OH HEEEEEEEEELL NO!!

 

BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!!

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen. . . the winner of the match by escaping the cage BRUCEEEEEEEE BLANK!!

 

Every single fan in the arena starts to boo and curse as Bruce drags himself back to his feet, staggering, bleeding from the gash on the side of his head and visibly in a tremendous amount of pain as he staggers down the aisle towards the back without even looking back at Gibraltar, he escaped with a win tonight but it wasn’t exactly a glorious win for him.

 

COACH

What the??

 

There is a flash of motion from the other side of the cage as someone leaps out of the crowd and hits Saint Andrew over the back of the head with a chair before he begins to climb the cage with the chair in tow.

 

COLE

That’s. . . that’s Colombian Heat isn’t it?

 

COACH

What the hell is he doing here??

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

Heat climbs up and balances on the top of the cage with the steel chair held high over his head as he leaps off towards an unsuspecting Gibraltar

 

*THWACK!!*

 

Colombian Heat drives the chair into Gibraltar’s head knocking the big man down as he dents the chair over the big man’s skull.

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

 

COACH

He just knocked the big man totally out!

 

COLE

Colombian Heat was seriously injured by Gibraltar at the Great Angle Bash some months ago, he’s finally come to get his revenge on the big man.

 

COACH

Oh I remember that, it was sick how Heat went through the windscreen of that car.

 

Colombian Heat leaps to the floor and takes the microphone from Michael Buffer to address the crowd.

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT

If all of y'all enjoyed seeing me make Gibraltar feel the Heat, make some noise up in this BI-AAAATCH~!!!"

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

 

COLE

We'l return with more in a bit.

 

------------------------------------------------

 

The night sky illuminated by the moon, a LIMO pulls up in front of a trendy nightspot. Mouths drop as none other than newest OAOAST superstar THEODORE MONEYMAKER exits the limo with a bevy of BEAUTIES in toll. Two sets of twins to be exact. Blonde and brunette.

 

They walk up to the front door, laughing in the faces of those who have to wait in line to get in.

 

BOUNCER

Yo, Teddy!

 

Baring an striking resemblance to former pro wrestler and WCW World Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons, the bouncer warmly greets Theodore and company. Suddenly, a hand waving a $5 bill appears between the bouncer and Theodore. The bouncer swats it away.

 

BOUNCER

Take yo' Monopoly money elsewhere, fool. Serious inquiries only.

 

THEODORE

Still trying to short-change you, huh, Christopher? You know what the funny thing is? 5 bucks is worth a helluva lot to that guy.

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

CHRISTOPHER THE BOUNCER

Chump change to a man like yourself. Go on in and enjoy yourselves, ladies and gentleman. Your room is ready.

 

THEODORE

Excellent.

(pulls out a wad of $100 bills)

One, two, three, four, five. Here you go, Chris. I could use a good man like you to watch my back when I step inside the squared circle. Make sure nobody touches the ride. Come on, ladies.

 

CHRISTOPHER THE BOUNCER

(to everyone outside)

Anybody here who touches that limo is gonna have my hand touch their heart when I punch a whole through their damn chest, ya hear?!

 

* STYLISH CLIP *

 

To those unaccustomed to the party atmosphere associated with clubbing, the loud techno music and flashing lasers would have you running out the front door in a split-second, but not Theodore. The booze (and drugs?) flowing freely, Theodore and the beauties are escorted to their private V.I.P. room. It's anything but private once they enter the room. A 20-something young couple are smooching on the leather loveseat.

 

BLONDE TWIN #1

(gasp)

There's....

 

BLONDE TWIN #2

...someone...

 

BRUNETTE TWIN #1

...already...

 

BRUNETTE TWIN #2

...here.

 

The couple quickly fix themselves up. Buttoning their t-shirt, blouse, etc. Nearby are carts with leftover lobster and chilled champagne.

 

THEODORE

Yes, ladies. They're my special guests.

 

Quadruple your pleasure, quadruple your headache.

 

BLONDE & BRUNETTE TWINS

Aw, I thought we were your special guests, Teddy?

 

THEODORE

You are, my bevy of beauties. But tonight is a very special night for these two lovebirds, John and Jane Mark. It's their first wedding anniversary.

 

The couple go up to Theodore and graciously shake his hand.

 

JOHN

Mr. Moneymaker, sir...

 

THEODORE

Please, call me Theodore.

 

JOHN

Theodore, I sure like to thank you for allowing us to celebrate our anniversary in your V.I.P. room. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but we met in this club two years ago.

 

THEODORE

Oh, is that right? Icing on the cake then.

 

JANE

I'd like to second what my husband said, Theodore. You've been so wonderful to us. It's ashame the media paints you as a money-hungry, womanizing, party animal.

 

THEODORE

Well, you know how the media is. But thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it. Say, why don't you go and have some fun out on the dance floor? What's your song?

 

JANE

(laughs; blushing)

Don't say it, John. It's embarrassing.

 

JOHN

But it's our song, honey. Britney Spears' "I'm A Slave For You."

 

THEODORE

I sorta digged her myself before she got all fat. The girl is poppin' babies out like hotcakes. I tell you what. You go tell the DJ Theodore Moneymaker said to play your song. Now go have yourselves some fun!

 

JOHN & JANE

Thank you, Theodore.

 

The couple exit, giggling. Theodore breaks out his super slick cellphone to make a call.

 

* BEEP * BEEP * BEEP * BEEP * BEEP * BEEP * BEEP *

 

THEODORE

Theodore. They're on their way to the dance floor now. Charge them for the dinner and the use of my V.I.P. room. After much thought, they just couldn't accept the charity. Yep, that's right. Fifteen hundred dollars. :D

 

Call ends.

 

BLONDE TWIN #1

That....

 

BLONDE TWIN #2

...is...

 

BRUNETTE TWIN #1

...so...

 

BRUNETTE TWIN #2

...mean.

 

BLONDE TWIN #1

And....

 

BLONDE TWIN #2

...such...

 

BRUNETTE TWIN #1

...a...

 

BRUNETTE TWIN #2

...turn-on.

 

The ladies thrown Theodore down on the loveseat and begin to kiss him all over the face, neck and chest. By the time the segment ends Theodore is shirtless.

 

THEODORE

Isn't life wonderful?

(ponders)

Only if you're the Billion Dollar Heir. And you're not! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

You break the laws

You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all

Come on come on, lovin' for the money

Come on come on, listen to the Moneytalk

Come on come on, lovin' for the money

Come on come on, listen to the Moneytalk

Moneytalks

 

Moneytalks

B.S. Walks

Moneytalks

 

Commercial break

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OAOAST BACKTRACKER

 

Brannigan is slammed mid-ring. Mann ascending to the top, raising both arms in the air before diving off, dropping both knees down onto the chest of Tony Brannigan!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE-- NO!

 

* DING DING DING *

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Inexplicably, the riot cops pounce on Logan. While one jabs the baton into the ribs of Mann, the other kicks him in the gut. John Eastwood, the young official just called up from the OAOVW, is no match for the protectively padded enforcers who physically manhandle the youngster, suplexing him overhead to the floor!

 

COLE

Damn you! There's no reason for this. It's uncalled for, damnit!

 

Tony Brannigan picks his fights all right. And what a fight he picks, attacking both riot cops, kicking off one of their helmets to reveal a black ski mask underneath. A struggle ensues as Tony tries to unmask the cop. His attention solely on removing the mask Tony doesn't see the other cop come up from behind and drill the point of the baton into the ribs!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

The cavalry arrives. SYNTH and DAN BLACK making their presence felt. The Synthmeister is served a double clothesline straight from hell as he springboards off the top, causing Dan to have second thoughts about entering. No second thoughts about it. Dan stays put on the floor. He only reaches into the ring to pull his partner, Tony Brannigan, to saftey in the corner.

 

COLE

(pleading)

Dan, please. Put your differences aside and help the Heavenly Rockers. Please!

 

Black watching with the rest of the viewing audience as the riot cops give a whole new meaning to the term "excessive force," suplexing the Heavenly Rockers all over the place. Every suplex imaginable used. And just like that the two men exit. The masked man retrives his helmet, shooting Dan Black a look afterwards.

 

COLE

That's gotta be--That's gotta be a message straight from Axel. A taste of what's to come if Black T and the others don't confirm.

 

COACH

Defiance won't be tolerated, that's for sure.

 

Dan enters the ring and starts putting the boots to Synth and Logan! Black legdrops the right arm of Synth's, before applying the "HEART OF ICE" CROSSFACE!

 

COLE

Damnit, Dan! The company needs to band together not destroy each other. No wonder why they call you the "Ice Heart." You a souless son of a bitch! And here comes security. About damn time. Too damn bad they couldn't put the donuts down soon enough and help when those two riot cops went against everything law enforcement stands for and went Rodney King on the Heavenly Rockers' asses.

 

Black drapes the tag titles over the waists over Synth and Logan, then helps Tony backstage as we go to break.

 

"THIS HAS BEEN OAOAST BACKTRACKER"

 

Michael Cole provides the voice-over as we pan around the arena. Completely sold out, as usual.

 

COLE

Along with conspiracy theories, there are plenty of unanswered questions stemming from last week's altercation between the Heavenly Rockers, Black T, and riot cops. Our Hot Newz staff have been working 'round the clock on this story, and all they've uncovered is that the men under the riot gear were not from the local police force. It should be noted, repeated attempts to reach Black T for comment have gone unsuccessful. Likewise for the Heavenly Rockers, who, as has been reported on OAOAST.com and countless other media outlets, were in Las Vegas this past weekend for the wedding of Logan Mann and Holly-Wood. On behalf of everyone in the OAOAST, we send out our congratulations to the newlyweds. But before the Heavenly Rockers bolted for Vegas, my broadcast colleague Josh Matthews caught up with them in the locker room after Logan's match with Tony Brannigan last week. Let's view that right now.

 

RECORDED LAST WEEK...

 

Pacing like a madman and cussing worse than a sailor, Logan is throwing anything that isn't nailed down -- chairs, luggage, etc. Ace reporter Josh Matthews cautiously enters the room, doing his best to avoid being plunked by a flying object.

 

Logan spots Josh and balls up his fist, the expression on his face suggesting he's ready to knock Matthews into next week.

 

LOGAN

Whaddya want?!

 

JOSH

(timid)

Lo-Logan, I'd like your thoughts on what happened in-in your match with Tony Brannigan?

 

LOGAN

You do, huh? You want a comment? Why don't you take a look at the footage! A picture is worth a thousand words, right? Right?!

 

JOSH

(stammering)

I-I-I-I guess so. Yes.

 

LOGAN

The biggest night in my personal life is coming up and my professional life is in shambles. My partner is being examined by medical personnel, while the woman I plan on spending the rest of my life with is at home crying her beautiful eyes out because not only did she see me get beat up again, but she's gonna have a giant bruise on her face thanks to a certain a-hole who's getting a World Title shot at Angleslam. Bruise? Did I say bruise? If I did, that's because it ties into what I'm about to say next. And that is...I know who those riot cops were.

 

JOSH

You do? Who, Logan? Who is it? Tell us. I think I speak for everyone when I say, we want to know.

 

LOGAN

THE SOONER BRUISERS!

 

JOSH

But they've been suspended since their conduct at Living Angleously. Are you sure it's them?

 

LOGAN

Proof positive. Or I'll go on national television and apologize to their face. There ain't nobody else in the world who dish out suplexes like they do. They've kept a low profile, waiting for the right time to strike. So I'm calling for the Sooner Bruisers to be reinstated. You hear that Axel, "Mr. President"? I want YOU to REINSTATE their asses! It's time to end this once and for all. Anytime, anyplace. Reinstate the Sooner Bruisers sayeth Logan Mann!

 

JOSH

Thank--

 

LOGAN

(pulling the mic up to his face)

I'm not done yet! I got something to say to Dan Black. I wanna know where you're coming from, bro. We weren't the only ones getting beat down, so was Tony Brannigan. Didn't you see that? Because I'm starting to wonder whose side are you on, brother. That's right! I'm saying you're a double agent, something right out of a Bond film, Black! You go weeks without talking or wrestling, leaving Brannigan to carry all the workload. Until you prove otherwise...you're one of them in my eyes!

 

* ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT *

 

HOT! HOT! HOT...

 

HOT NEWZ~!

 

180px-171.jpg

 

"MEAN" GENE OKERLUND

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you breaking Hot Newz~! The OAOAST has just confirmed that an incident occured this past weekend at the wedding of Logan Mann and Holly-Wood involving the Sooner Bruisers! As we just heard, Logan Mann suspected the men dressed last week as riot cops last week were indeed the Sooner Bruisers. Details are still sketchy, but it seems his assumption was correct. OAOAST officials are currently in the process of obtaining home video shot at the wedding, which we hope to have for you next week. From the OAOAST Hot Newz~! room, I'm Gene Okerlund.

 

(BACK TO SC)

 

COLE

Since when do we have a breaking news desk? Oh well, welcome back to HeldDOWN~!, where right now it's all change at Sofa Central. Coach has gone to refill the popcorn bowls and I'm instead joined by two very familiar faces, The Global Party Exchange, here to impart their knowledge of tag team wrestling during this HI-YAH Tag Team Championship Match. Hopefully we won't get taken off the air mid-way through, but if we do you can continue watching on OAOAST.com.

 

JAX

Hasn't that site been down for like 2 years?

 

STATIC

Wait, we had one to begin with?

 

COLE

[shifty eyes]

So, uh, as we said HI-YAH Tag Team Championship on the line. The Champions D*LUX make their first defence of the belts in their second reign, as they take on the OAOAST's perrenial hired hitmen, The South Central Militia. And this will be by no means be an easy test for the Champs.

 

STATIC

Let's hope they've been watchin' those best of GPX DVDs a little closer this week.

 

 

"JUST ONE ON ONE

THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!

JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!

 

JUST ONE ON ONE

THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!

JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!"

 

That intro to A1's "First To Believe", can only mean one thing. And painful as the song it leads into may be the crowd rise to their feet regardless for the hot slice of pop about to be dished out. Jade Rodez is first to emerge, skipping out through the entrance doors with a typically angellic smile on her face. Either side, "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant hit a triumphant pose of their manager, their washboard abs hidden to the world by the fancy HI-YAH Tag Straps back in their possession. Jade and team soak up the energy of the crowd for a few seconds before Jade points the way on to the ring. And like the good tag team they are, Shayne and Tyler do as told and bound on down the ramp.

 

COLE

Alright! D*LUX, tagging hands like it's going out of fashion!

 

STATIC

So, kinda like their gimmick then?

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championships! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by their manager, Ms. JADE RODEZ! Both hailing from the state of Michigan. At a total combined weight of three hundred and ninety seven pounds... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... the two-time, current, reigning and defending HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions... D * LLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

JAX

Bah gawd Johnny Jam, wouldya look at these two young bluechippers? Hailin' from the heart of Michigan...

 

STATIC

So, in other words, Canada.

 

JAX

Watch your mouth, brah.

 

Hand-slapping their way down the ramp, Tyler and Shayne climb to the apron and hoist Jade from the floor as has become customary. The trio then enter the ring, which is when The GPX's presence at ringside gets their attention. The 2/3rds of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions stand from the sofa, as Jade tries to drag D*LUX away from the ropes.

 

STATIC

These two dawgs, they're loaded with potential! But you ain't gonna pay the bills on potential alone, Johnny Jam. Maybe that's why they took a surefire earner, stole it and gave it a 21st Century twist...

 

JAX

20th Century.

 

STATIC

...and pretended like they're something special! And that's what this business was built on.

 

Tyler and Shayne are still distracted by The GPX's commentary, good enough lip-readers to know they're being run down. And even the sounds of "Don't Believe The Hype" by Public Enemy don't draw their attention away from Johnny and Scotty. The entrance doors part and out stride The South Central Militia. Already The SCM are disposing of their shades and bandanas and the like, as they see and opportunity and stride to the ring with a little more eagerness than usual.

 

BUFFER

And introducing the challengers. Hailing from South Central L.A... at a total combined weight of five hundred and two pounds. MARCELLUS "ONE EYE" WALLACE... VINCENT "WHITEY" FORD... THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILLLIIITTIIIIIAAAAAA!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Announcement over, Buffer makes a quick exit as Vinny slides into the ring. And despite Jade's warnings D*LUX don't turn in time, getting jumped from behind by Vinny as Marcellus labours behind a little but now joins his parter in the ring. Jade wisely makes a quick exit, as The SCM begin to club away on D*LUX to the amusement of The GPX.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

COLE

From behind, The Militia get the jump on the Champions!

 

STATIC

Aw, too bad. I guess these two got too caught up lookin' in this livin' mirror here.

 

Immediately, the LA duo's weight advantage comes into play as D*LUX, still yet to remove their denim green jackets or even their title belts are overwhelmed by the challengers. The SCM dump Shayne from the ring before loading Tyler up for a double whip. As Tyler rebounds, Marcellus steps aside briefly as Vinny cuts the boybander off with a boot to the gut, doubling him over as Moe then returns with a knee strike to the side of the head! The strike almost twists "The Tremendous One" inside out as The SCM bump knuckles in a show of team unity. Off comes the jacket now as Vinny drags Tyler up again, whipping him over the back with his very own denim clothing while Marcellus bundles Shayne back off the apron. Back in centre ring, Vinny hooks Tyler down with a clothesline and grabs a quick pin...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

By the hair, "Whitey" drags Tyler up again and hooks him down with a second, more measured clothesline. The veteran of the team then calls Marcellus over and holds Tyler in place, as ol' "One Eye" lands a skull crushing headbutt!

 

SANTANA

L.A REPRESENT!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

STATIC

Yeah, nice going there hotshot.

 

The crowd are unsurprisingly unreceptive to Vinny's yell. The SCM seem a little distracted by the boos and can't resist talking some trash in return, as is their brash nature. However, because the fans aren't in the ring they end up taking their attention away from their opponents, as Shayne Brave is back up on the apron. Despite having one good eye, Moe is the first to spot Shayne and alerts Vinny to the problem. But as they move towards "Showtime", he vaults to the top and springboards in with a crossbody...CAUGHT! The SCM collectively catch Brave in their arms, preparing to drop him. Or throw him. Pity they can't make their mind up, really. Especially as it gives time for Tyler to stoop through the gap and hit the ropes in front, dropkicking his partner in the back, causing The Militia to topple and Shayne to land on top, sending Jade jumping for joy...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Double kickout, with authority, which abruptly stops Jade's jumping.

 

JAX

Damn, Leon's sister's really filled out since we first met her.

 

STATIC

Too true. If she looked like that back then, I'd'a gave her a lil' Static shock treatment, ya dig?

 

JAX

Wasn't she like 16 then?

 

COLE

Guys, please! Try to concentrate on the match.

 

Regrouping, D*LUX catch Vinny getting to his feet with a double dropkick, sending him sprawling to the floor. That leaves Marcellus 2 on 1 against the tag team specialists, who look for the same attack again. Marcellus is a bigger man than his partner though and he takes the dropkick with little more than a step back. D*LUX try again and again Marcellus doesn't go down, but he's clearly staggered. So D*LUX perservere and fire off stereo enziguris, to finally knock Moe down!

 

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

Finally referee Mark Hebner orders one in and one out, Shayne electing to leave while Tyler takes Moe over with an Oklahoma Roll...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

Tyler traps on a side headlock to keep Moe under control. Or, as best possible with the near sixty pound weight difference.

 

COLE

D*LUX finally taking some control now.

 

STATIC

D*LUX. Man, could they be more obvious about it? They oughta be called ONI, Originality Not Included.

 

JAX

Or GTG. Grand Theft Gimmick.

 

STATIC

Nah, that's a little too current for 'em.

 

Tag is made between D*LUX as they look to whip Marcellus off the ropes. The bigman is taken across the ring by the combined efforts of the boyband sensations, but he comes barrelling right back with a double clothesline. D*LUX double duck though, grabbing Moe from behind and hitting a double russian legsweep. Off the ropes comes Shayne as Tyler positions himself, backdropping his partner up and down across Wallace. Cover is made, as Hebner points Tyler out of the ring...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout.

 

Knowing that he can't stand toe to toe with "One Eye", Shayne rushes over to the corner and hops up to the middle rope, waiting on Marcellus to get back up. The bigman of the match wanders in and takes a WICKED~! right hand to the jaw that'd have even Logan Mann wincing! Shayne then reaches out and hooks the head, ready for a Tornado DDT...

 

 

...but he gets caught coming off the rope and pitched forward...

 

 

 

...only to land on his feet and connect with a front dropkick as Moe wanders towards him. Marcellus stumbles back into the corner and Shayne backs up into the opposite corner, getting a run-up as he charges in and soars, squashing Moe in the corner with a leaping elbow. That leaves Moe staggered, long enough for D*LUX to make another quick exchange.

 

STATIC

Tag in to Johnny Jax.

 

COLE

Tyler Bryant.

 

STATIC

Same diff'.

 

Makeshift planning is made on Tyler's way in as he extends his hand, allowing Shayne to whip him in. Marcellus has recovered by now though and avoids the splash in the corner! Tyler ends up slumped in the corner as "Showtime" Shayne now runs in and he gets turned virtually inside out with a massive, powerhouse of a clothesline!

 

"OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

JAX

:D

 

COLE

What a clothesline!

 

JAX

Oh ho, you ain't kiddin'! Man that was great, you got flipped right over Scotty!!

 

STATIC

And how. Can I get some ice out here for my neck or somethin', that's gonna smart in the morning.

 

Out from the corner staggers Tyler now. Jade tries to wave him off, frantically trying to warn Tyler not to turn around and to his credit he doesn't. Trouble is, he keeps stumbling backwards and falls into the waiting arms of "One Eye", Marcellus hooking the left arm around the head from behind as he extends the thumb on his right hand to the crowd. Moe then cuts the thumb across his throat...and JAMS it into the side of Tyler's throat!! Tyler collapses in a fitting heap and chokes for breath, while Marcellus is warned by the referee for what may or may not have been an illegal strike. There's enough area of doubt that Hebner doesn't actually call the disqualification though.

 

COLE

He calls that the Silver Bullet.

 

STATIC

I call that move theft! Is there anyone else in this damn company who ain't rippin' anyone else off, besides us and J'OH?

 

JAX

Hey joo! Mah name... haha!... eesss JJJOOOHNNYYY... haha!...

 

STATIC

Cut it out J.

 

JAX

Just as well. I don't think I oughta break one of these 'cigars' I gots.

 

COLE

Did Coachman sell you them? On seconds thoughts, nevermind.

 

By now, Marcellus has made the tag and Vincent Santana is in. Tyler is still writhing on the canvas so with no sign of his tag team partner around to make the save, Vinny decides to attempt a pin...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

Vinny brings Tyler back up, whilst on the outside Jade is doing her managerial duties by checking on Shayne Brave's condition. She keeps a nervous eye on the ring though, as Vinny nails Tyler with a right hand. A second. Three. And a fourth, sending Tyler slumping back into a neutral corner. A wring of the arm sets up and irish whip from Santana, sending Tyler cross-ring and into the opposite buckles with a thud. Vinny then charges in on the follow-up...and eats two feet to the face! Shaking it off, the man affectionately known as "Whitey" tries again...running into another raised boot! Hope is built up for the crowd as Tyler now exits the corner and swings for Santana. But Vinny ducks his head and catches Tyler, hoiking him up and throwing him down with a modified Rock Bottom!

 

COLE

The Throwdown!

 

STATIC

Gee, that's an original statement.

 

Looking disturbingly natural, Vinny drags the motionless body by the feet into the position he wants, before exiting to the apron. Hooking the top rope, the deceptively agile Santana then flips back in with a hílo, driving his bodyweight down across the chest. Cover is made, Vinny hooking the near leg...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But the far leg finds it's way onto the bottom rope!

 

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

STATIC

Hey Johnny, you wanna pull a run-in?

 

COLE

:o

 

JAX

Nah, I'm good.

 

COLE

You two are unbelievable.

 

The SCM make an exchange now and Marcellus is now the legal man again. Together the Militia ignore Hebner's protests and his 5 count, teaming up to shoot Tyler into the ropes and elevating him up onto the shoulders. Together. In unison, the duo then flip Tyler off the shoulders and down with a Double FU!

 

COLE

Not just an FU...but a DOUBLE FU!

 

JAX

Yeesh.

 

Out exits Vinny, confidently dusting his hands on sight of Marcellus' relaxed pinfall...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SAVE BY SHAYNE!

 

The hotheaded Wallace chases Brave out of the ring, Hebner having to keep the duo seperated, which allows Vinny to sneak into the ring and put the boots to Tyler in the meantime.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

If Tyler doesn't soon make the tag, then you two might find yourselves with a different target of abuse, because D*LUX might not be HI-YAH Tag Team Champions for much longer.

 

STATIC

It ain't about belts, it's about respect! I don't give a shit who's holding what belt, this is a matter of pride. Saving face. We've got gold, we're not beggin' for more. That crap's for glorywhores.

 

COLE

...and we at the OAOAST apologise for that language folks.

 

JAX

Why? It's not like the 'Pres' is gonna watch this, he's too busy working him and his millionaire busboys a payrise somewheres.

 

COLE

Oh man.

 

Control seems to have been retained, as Brave is sent back to his corner and watches on anxiously. Scooping Tyler up, Wallace slams the Auburn Hills native in the centre of the ring. Moe then backs off the ropes and leaps high, coming down with a big elbow, which stays over Tyler's chest...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

"TY - LER!"

"TY - LER!"

"TY - LER!"

"TY - LER!"

 

Marcellus now looks for the end, setting himself in a front headscissors to allow himself to lift Tyler up, back to belly. In near certain peril either way he goes, Tyler panics and starts to squirm and struggle, Marcellus hanging onto the legs at the top despite the endeavour of the youngster. So Tyler slams his feet together, sandwiching Moe's head between. A second sandwich has Moe's bell rung. And a third time finally stuns Marcellus enough for Tyler to slip down the back, trying for a sunset flip. But he isn't strong enough to bring the 265 pounder down without assistance, so Shayne Brave rushes in and dropkicks the off-balance Wallace, dropping him back into the sunset flip...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

Rolling back through to his feet, Tyler is nimble enough to duck underneath a sprawling attempt by Marcellus to snare him, hitting the ropes behind and chopblocking out one of "One Eye" knees, almost turning him into "One Leg" in the process. Santana tries to get in for the save, but Tyler cuts him off halfway through the ropes, dropkicking him to the floor. With the adrenalin still flowing, Tyler then wheels around and launches off of Marcellus' planted leg...

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...and nailing him behind the head with a Shining Enziguri!!

 

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

There's the turnaround and now, Tyler Bryant has to make the tag to his fresh partner!

 

JAX

What's he gonna do? He's about a buck seventy, how's he gonna beat this big dude?

 

STATIC

With whatever we beat him with last, probably.

 

"TY - LER!"

"TY - LER!"

"TY - LER!"

"TY - LER!"

 

The crowd rise to route Tyler towards a tag as the adrenaline has faded a little, forcing him to wearily crawl hand over foot to his corner. Brave is waiting with tag rope in hand, arm outstretched as Tyler crawls, crawls and crawls some more...AND GETS THE TAG!

 

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

STATIC

Hot tag!

 

JAX

Did we invent that?

 

STATIC

Probably.

 

Faster than you can say house en fuego (which probably isn't that fast come to think of it), Shayne leaps into the ring and comes down across Marcellus' back with a back senton! Shayne pops right back up and like a lime green blur he fends off Vinny with a baseball slide, before scrambling out the rest of the way through the middle and bottom ropes, heading towards the top. Marcellus drags himself back up and Shayne soars, connecting with a missile dropkick that fells the mighty (proverbial) tree! On top scrambles "Showtime"...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Santana clubs Shayne from behind, breaking the pin...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

...earning him a Yakuza Kick from Tyler Bryant!

 

"YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

JAX

Hmm, who does that remind ya'll of?

 

STATIC

I'll take Johnny Jax for $300.

 

COLE

Lots of people use the Yakuza Kick, I really doubt he took it specifically from you.

 

D*LUX now regroup and wait on Marcellus to get back to his feet, Tyler meeting him with a quick kick to the gut. Together Shayne and Tyler grab an arm each wring them out, kicking the legs out from underneath Moe and dropping him to his knees. Shayne and Tyler then hit the ropes on either side and fire off basement dropkicks in stereo, sandwiching Moe's head in between.

 

COLE

New Kicks On The Block!

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3-

NO!

 

COLE

I get the feeling D*LUX would be better off focusing on Santana. They're going to have a tough time keeping "One Eye" down, even with 2 on 1 offence, for the pinfall and I doubt they'll get a submission out of him.

 

Shayne now keeps Vinny in check as Tyler crouches, waiting on Marcellus to collect himself before running the ropes. On the way back Marcellus catches Tyler under the arms and pitches him high into the air with little to no effort. Tyler is able to adjust in mid-air and counter with a dropkick, but pretty much bounces off Moe without dropping him to the canvas. Another head of steam is built though and the persistant Tyler Bryant charges at Moe...who backdrops him high over the top and to the arena floor!

 

"OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Soon to follow is Moe though, Shayne catching him unawares with a dropkick and managing to bundle him over the top and to the floor. That leaves just Shayne and Vinny in the ring and that seems a slightly fairer match...

 

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

...save for the fact Shayne gets his lights kicked out as he turns around, of course.

 

COLE

Superkick by Vincent Santana! Where did he pull that from?

 

Learning from previous mistakes, Vinny drags Shayne away from the ropes before calling Hebner down and demanding the count...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEW CHA...

 

 

NO, KICKOUT!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The kickout has Jade leaping for joy again, but it sucks the energy right out of Santana as he argues the count with referee Hebner. But he doesn't stay deterred for too long, backing into a corner and slapping his forearm for all to see.

 

COLE

Vinny's looking for that flying forearm, a move made famous by another wrestling Santana back in the day.

 

STATIC

Yeah, but he didn't have no steel plates in his forearm.

 

JAX

That was that other guy, right?

 

STATIC

Heh. We can't even have original injuries around here. Watch him tear his quad.

 

Vinny revs up the car, preparing for the Drive-By. Worried for her team, Jade tries to plead with Hebner that "Whitey" is about to use a foreign object and to do something about it. The pleading is futile though, as Vinny points a finger down her way and yelling at her to shut up before she gets hurt, before turning and charging...

 

 

 

 

 

...right in a Merry Tyler Gore Show, Bryant flipping over into the customary jacknife pin as Hebner dives into position...

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shayne cuts off Marcellus...

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND THERE'S THE 3!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

COLE

A desperation save, turned into a pin and it gets D*LUX the victory! Vincent didn't see it coming!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winners... and STILL HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, "Showtime" Shayne and "Tremendous" Tyler... D * LLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

In the ring Tyler and Shayne high-five and embrace like good team-mates should, as Jade rushes to ringside to collect the HI-YAH Tag Titles for her team. But when she gets there, the timekeeper's table is strangely empty.

 

 

Standing on the HeldDOWN~! sofa, smug smiles appear on the faces of Scotty Static and Johnny Jax as they raise D*LUX's HI-YAH Tag Team Title belts for the crowd to see. Jax teases Jade with the belt he's holding, dangling it within reach if she dares to try and take it. Meanwhile, D*LUX finally spot what's going on and look to each other in confusion.

 

COLE

Come on guys, what are you doing!?

 

STATIC

Great win dawgs...but you won them under false pretences, didnt'cha. By rights, these are ours.

 

JAX

You want 'em...come get 'em!

 

Luckily, Tyler is a good lip-reader and he relays what The GPX just said over their headsets to Shayne before bailing from the ring...

 

 

 

...not expecting his partner to collapse behind him, as JAMIE O'HARA skids into the ring and clocks Shayne in the back of the head with his third of the 6-Man Tag Team Championships!! Tyler hears the reaction of the crowd, which is strangely mixed, and turns around to see what happened. And that's when The GPX pounce, scrambling over the announce table and pounding Tyler from behind!!

 

COLE

HEY! Come on, what the hell!?

 

Static and Jax puts the boots to Tyler, before pitching him into the ring, where O'Hara is laying the icecreams down on Shayne. Watching on helplessly, Jade screams to the back for some help, but none seems to be coming as The Hooligans continue to beat down on D*LUX with stomps and kicks and the odd forearm here and there. Tossing off his doo-rag, O'Hara then exits to the apron and gives some signals to The GPX, Static continuing the stomps as Jax drags Shayne Brave across towards the corner. O'Hara quickly scales to the top and stands tall, showing off his nonchalant, natural balance while Jax places one of the HI-YAH Tag Titles across Brave's head. O'Hara gives the thumbs up, before backflipping off and landing an awesome SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP across the face!!!

 

COLE

Da Bling Thing!

 

"YYEEEEEAAAAHHHHH - BOOOOOO!"

 

COLE

Damnit, this is completely uncalled for! D*LUX have done nothing to provoke this, Johnny Jax and Scotty Static seem to have this chip on their damn shoulders about the 'old' GPX and this is the result! And they're not even done!

 

With Shayne KOed and bleeding from the belt being smushed into his face, The Hooligans now focus their attentions on Tyler Bryant. Dragging the match-winning D*LUXer up to his feet, Static locks on a double underhook, O'Hara nursing his tailbone but still encouraging his 6-Man Tag partner on, as he lifts Tyler up...and DRILLS him with the Spiked Punch!!!

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

Ugh! Right on his head. D*LUX just came through a tough title defence and now this.

 

With D*LUX laid to waste, the kneeling Static smirks as he accepts the other HI-YAH Title from Jax and drops it over Tyler's body. O'Hara mocks the despairing Jade Rodez from the ring, the crueller parts of the audience laughing along with him, while "Make Her Say" hits and The GPX stand over the supposed successors to their former boyband throne.

 

Cut to the back as we see Peter Knight WALKING~! The camera angle is low, making Knight look like he is ten feet tall. He adjusts his gloves as he walks.

 

COLE

There you see the former Heavyweight champion heading to the ring as he is in action after the br.....what?!

 

Suddenly, Knight falls forward and the reason comes into frame as he rains down blows to the back of Knight's head.

 

COLE

That's Longdogger Pete!! We haven't seen him since Syndicated!

 

The men jostle around on the floor as a crewman runs for help. In an instant, officials and some wrestlers fly into the frame and try to pull the former SWF star off. It is sheer pandemonium as the cameraman tries to interject himself to get a good shot.

 

COLE

Longdogger Pete is looking to get some revenge of his own and.....what? Ok, we really need to take this commercial break. We'll have more on this af.....

 

Commercial break

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As we come back to Louisville, we are back in the backstage area as things have settled down some...at the expense of about six or seven men each holding Peter Knight and Longdogger Pete back. Knight tries to move in on Pete, but he is pulled back.

 

KNIGHT

.....son of a bitch!

 

LONGDOGGER PETE

I want you in that ring so I can kick your ass! AngleSlam! I want your ass at AngleSlam!

 

KNIGHT

That right?

 

LONGDOGGER

Bet your ass you piece of.....

 

Knight moves again and has to be restrained again.

 

KNIGHT

You want to go at AngleSlam? Done. Whatever you want. I'm gonna end your damn career!

 

AXEL

ALL RIGHT! GET THEM BOTH THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

 

Suddenly, the new OAOAST President makes his presence known as he pushes through the crowd.

 

AXEL

I am NOT going to let this continue. Get them both back to the hotel and make sure they stay separated. If you two get into it again, you're BOTH suspended! Let's go, get them out. Use separate exits.

 

Both men are pulled off in separate directions as we return to Sofa Central.

 

COLE

Tensions have been boiling over the last few weeks. It looks like AngleSlam will be a night of grudge matches.

 

ANGLESLAM 2006

Make A Movie About This, Mr. Gore

Just 17 Days To Go!

 

 

*GOOOOONG!*

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

 

"C'mon man"

"DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..."

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship! Introducing first, from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLEEEEEEOOOOONN... RRRRROOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

Already in full flow down the ramp, the lime green adorned 24/7 Champion slaps away at the outstretched hands down the aisle as he makes his way to the ring. Jogging up the steps, Leon seems much happier with things than when we saw him earlier and leaps into the ring with an extra spring in his step, lifting his 24/7 Title to head-height for a shameless photo-op.

 

COACH

Well, on we go with HeldDOWN~! is SWF.

 

COLE

Now now Coach, here's a man who's OAOAST through and through.

 

COACH

But he writes for the SW...

 

COLE

What have I told you about kayfab... Leon Rodez, with another patented 24/7 Open Challenge here on HeldDOWN~! And after last week's unexpectedly tough challenge from a Hi-Gate competitor, Leon takes on a competitor from the SWF. Sort of. The SWF has seen versions 1, 2 and 3 but this is Ghost Machine 4.0, who may or may not be a robot. 2.0 turned out to be a former two-time World Champion, so who knows. Bottom line, Chicken Mask Jr. was not a chicken. Ghost Machine 4.0 might be a machine.

 

COACH

Wink wink.

 

COLE

Damnit Coach!

 

.:CUE: "Some weird robot song":.

 

The crowd don't react to the SWF licensed music at first, wondering what the hell is going on this week. And those of them that have never watched the SWF (which should be nobody by the way) stay confused at the figure that emerges through the OAOAST sliding doors, Ghost Machine 4.0. Wheeled to the ring on a dolly by OAOAST road agent Terry Taylor, who just gets stuck with all the good jobs don't he, Ghost Machine wears a purple bodysuit (long sleeves, long tights) and a purple mask with green trim around the eye holes and mesh over where a human would have a mouth. Assuming he/it is not a human, of course.

 

COLE

Well, I've done my homework and apparantly this Ghost Machine model has upgraded significantly from past models. He sports more slender framework, increased flexibility, better craftsmanship and the latest, state of the art built-in charisma chip powered by MicroChismo. Some correspondants have reported that while this Ghost Machine is a more aesthetically improved model, he does lack a little in technology on previous versions, but that is unsubstantiated and firmly denied by the manufacturers.

 

Ghost Machine is unstrapped from the dolly and rolls into the ring, as Terry Taylor's moment in the sun ends as soon as it had begun. Looking on, Leon seems a little more used to these oddities now after weeks of these challenges. But even he seems unsure on whether this opponent is animal or mineral as, from through the mesh screen over his mouth slit, Ghost Machine produces a intro card, which he hands to a bemused Michael Buffer.

 

BUFFER

Introducing, the challenger. Hailing from Parts Unknown. Weighing two hundred, twenty pounds of metallic muscle... he is GHOOOOSST MAAACHHHHIIIIIIIIINNNEEEEEE... FOUR.. POINT.. OOOHHHHHHH!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The crowd suddenly get into the spirit of things and throw out a venomous reaction. But don't be fooled, they're not booing the mysterious mechanical masked man in the ring. Rather, they're booing the three figures who co-incidentally appear on the stage right at the end of GM 4.0's intro.

 

COLE

Oh no.

 

COACH

These guys...that's all we need.

 

Bruce Blank leads the way down the aisle, clutching his trusty barbed-wire baseball bat and smiling from ear to ear. Curiously, he looks a little more styled and less unkept than usual, but you'll have to read the SWF shows to understand that. Bringing up the rear are Bloodshed and Todd Cortez, The Wildcards' presence putting everyone noticeably on edge.

 

COLE

Well, the 24/7 Championship is defended 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, so unfortunately these assholes have got virtually a free pass to be out here. Technically, they wouldn't be interrupting this match. That doesn't mean anyone's happy to see them out here.

 

"WE WANT ZACK!"

"WE WANT ZACK!"

"WE WANT ZACK!"

"WE WANT ZACK!"

 

COLE

And you can hear what the crowd think! They want Zack Malibu!

 

COACH

No they don't, not really. Last time he came out here was bad enough, Zack isn't going to come out here again. I don't think he could trust himself out here around Blank and company.

 

COLE

For the moment it seems The Wildcards are just out here to keep an eye on their SWF brethren, thankfully. But I've got a bad feeling about this situation and about those three in general.

 

Leon is clearly distracted by the trio of unpredictable outsiders and points to the outside, where Bruce is doing his best to ignore the torrent of abuse he's getting from the fans closest to him. Bruce just gives Leon a cutesy wave and signals for him to get on and wrestle.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

And as the bell rings, he's forced to do just that as Ghost Machine's programming kicks in and he goes right on the attack from behind. Forearms club Leon down to his knees, before GM 4.0 minimises that plans and loads up an irish whip. Reversal by Rodez, but Ghost Machine adapts and grabs the top rope, bringing himself to an abrupt halt. Ghost Machine then looks to charge on his own power of foot. However, Leon is already a step ahead and he catches GM 4.0 with a quick dropkick, sending him sprawling around and landing throat first across the middle rope!

 

"YYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

The Wildcards seem unenthused in the ring as Leon does The Jig~! Leon then rushes across the ring, hitting the ropes...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

...AND TAKES THE BARBED BALLBAT TO THE BACK!!!

 

COLE

DAMNIT, BLANK FROM THE OUTSIDE!

 

COACH

That sure didn't take long.

 

Leon drops to his knees, back arched in agony, as Bloodshed and Cortez suddenly dive into the ring and pounce on the 24/7 Champion! A much more casual Bruce Blank strolls up the steps and tosses the bat in ahead of him, while Cortez chokes Rodez down with the flat of his boot, Bloodshed stomping away beside him. All this is unbeknownest to Ghost Machine, who still hangs over the ring rope.

 

"WE WANT ZACK!"

"WE WANT ZACK!"

"WE WANT ZACK!"

"WE WANT ZACK!"

 

As he enters the ring, Bruce motions for his running buddies to lift Leon back up. Bruce then retrieves his barbed wire baseball bat and takes it top and bottom, holding it like a makeshift battering ram as Cortez and Bloodshed hold up Leon with an arm apiece. Sneering out at the crowd, Bruce yells that their hero "ain't comin'". Taking a run-up Bruce then charges...and slices the top of the bat over Leon's head!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Aghh! That skin shredding barbed wire, right across the face!

 

Down goes The Silky Smooth One, convulsing on the mat with the three Wildcards standing over him. Curiously, none of the three are going for the cover. In fact, they're not even looking at Leon. All three watch on across the ring as Ghost Machine has finally dragged himself off of the rope, holding his throat as he pulls himself back up. Only, unlike before, Ghost Machine isn't a machine at all. But some of the crowd certainly look like they've seen a ghost.

 

 

Clutching his purple mask in his right hand, the blond haired Ghost Machine turns around with a beaming smile on his face, dropping the mask to his feet. The unmasked Ghost Machine nods to The Wildcards, who curiouser still step aside, although not wearing the same smiles as 'GM 4.0' they seem clearly on the same page.

 

COACH

Wait a minute...so, they just came out here to put Leon down and now they're gonna let this Ghost guy take the win anyway? I don't get it.

 

COLE

This is all beyond...oh...oh my God. Coach, do you know who that is!?

 

COACH

How the hell should I know?

 

COLE

That looks like...THAT'S LANDON MADDIX!! HE'S ANOTHER SWF GUY!! DAMNIT, IT WAS A SETUP!!

 

COACH

...

 

Those in the crowd that would know now do know and predictably, they let the current SWF superstar have it as he stalks over Rodez. Those that don't catch on that something is going down too and jeer away as well. Strolling over, Maddix pats the must larger Blank on the shoulder and congratulates him on a job well done. Instantly, Bloodshed and Cortez go back to putting the boots to Rodez and Blank joins in with a few well places cowboy boots. Meanwhile, Landon directs himself to the hard-cam and seems unconcerned with what's going on behind him, as he raises his arms to the side and soaks up the boos.

 

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

 

COLE

Look at them, like a pack of wild dogs! 24/7 Title or not, we need some security out here!

 

COACH

You think Axel's gonna send security out here? C'mon Mikey, Leon was on Team Tony, no way is Axel gonna pass up on watching him get mauled by these psychos.

 

COLE

This isn't about Team Tony or Syndicated or anything like that! This goes beyond personal issues, this is four SWF wrestlers beating down one of the OAOAST's most recognisable wrestlers, in an OAOAST ring, on an OAOAST broadcast!!

 

Landon eventually pulls Bruce away before taking the lead and telling Bloodshed and Cortez to drag the motionless Rodez back up. The duo seem much less co-operative than they were with Bruce and if you knew SWF history you'd know why, but suffice to say this is a very unexpected partnership. But still, for whatever reason, they do pull Leon up. Blood is trickling down Rodez's face now from at least two seperate lacerations, as his deadweight means The Wildcards struggle to bring him up to more than one knee. That is enough for Landon though, as he backs off into the opposite corner of the ring. Turning to the fans, the unfamiliar OAOAST fans, it doesn't take long for them to tell just how self-confident "La Cucaracha" is as he postures and poses gleefully, before breaking into a run and DRIVING his right knee into the face of the enclutched Rodez with a Shining Wizard!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Rolling over, Landon lounges back on Rodez with a pin. At first, assigned referee Charles Robinson wants nothing to do with it, but The Wildcards begin to converge on him, forcing him to count the pin...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

.....

 

 

MADDIX

COUNT, COUNT!

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

I don't believe this.

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

Disgusted with himself, Robinson collects the 24/7 Title under duress and hands it to Landon. Luckily for him, Landon's eyes are locked on the belt, but unluckily Bruce picks up the slack and shoves the OAOAST referee on his keister just for the hell of it.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your new OAOAST 24/7 Champion... Landon... Maddix.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Buffer's deadpan announcement is in contrast to both the hostile reaction from the crowd and the delight on Landon's face as he raises the 24/7 Championship for all to see. Down the aisle stolls a petite and gosh-darn hot young woman which briefly peaks the crowd's interest, until she clambers into the ring and embraces Landon. That's Megan Skye, for the record. And this lovey-dovey exchange isn't in the best taste with Megan's ex Cortez watching on, but hey, wrestling's a soap opera.

 

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

 

COLE

I don't know what to say...this is terrible. An SWF wrestler is holding our title. Our 24/7 Championship! And why!? What the hell is going on around here anymore!?

 

Finally security is out, but they seem to be out solely for the SWF (past and present) fivesome's purposes as they leave the ring and are pointed towards an exit through the crowd. Cortez and Bloodshed aren't interested in sticking around and they quickly hop the barricade with security keeping the fans at bay. Bruce soaks up a little of the hostile atmosphere but he too exits quickly, leaving Landon and Megan to celebrate a little in the OAOAST fans faces, just to rub salt into the wounds. Some of the crowd seem a little stunned, some SWF marks a little giddy and everyone else is wondering whether to bother throwing their trash at the departing Wildcards. But the majority don't bother. The damage is done.

 

COLE

Coming in tonight, we said the OAOAST may never be the same again...and unfortunately, I think that's the case.

 

 

*Hasty Commercial*

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JOSH

Josh Matthews backstage with a very special guest, who has a big announcement for next week's show! Louisville, please welcome to HeldDOWN~! at this time, RICK MORANIS!

 

*Crowd cheers, as Moranis walks on to the screen and shakes Josh's hand.*

 

MORANIS

You're gonna love this one, folks! Next week, right here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, we're going to hold a 20-man Lethal Rumble match!

 

*crowd cheers*

 

MORANIS

But this isn't your average Rumble match, oh no. We're going to speed it up a notch. And you all know what that means...

 

*crowd pops as Moranis puts a large black helmet on.*

 

MORANIS

For the first time in OAOAST history, HeldDOWN~! will be going into...LUDICROUS SPEED~!

 

*big pop*

 

MORANIS

That's right, the first ever LUDICROUS SPEED~! Lethal Rumble match. A new participant every 60 seconds. The winner will receive a contract for a shot at the OAOAST World champion, to use whenever they want. And it all happens on HeldDOWN~! Call your cable provider, blah blah blah.

 

*Moranis takes a sip of coffee, and his eyes get big and his cheeks puff out. Josh smacks him on the back, causing him to spit the coffee on the camera and his mask to drop down.*

 

MORANIS

HOT! TOOOOOOO HOT!

 

*Cut back to Sofa Central.*

 

COLE

What a huge announcement, Coach!

 

COACH

The only way next week could be any bigger, is if Gravedale High was released on DVD!

 

COLE

...something like that.

 

The camera goes backstage to find Ayane Mitsui walking back stage. She stops, and the camera swings around to show OAOAST newcomer Sydney Sky. Ayane bows down politely. Sydney looks a bit surprised but returns the bow.

 

Ayane: Welcome to the OAOAST, Sydney-san! I have heard many things about your time in the other companies. Ever since the Women's Division went to Hi-Yah, there have not been very many matches for me to participate in, and I understand it's been a while since your last match as well, Sydney-san. I would be honored if you would have a match with me, next week.

 

Sydney considers this for a moment, then nods

 

Sydney: Sure! See you next week then.....what was your name again?

 

Ayane: Ayane Mitsui

 

Sydney: All right, I'll be there, Ayane.

 

(BACK TO SC)

 

COLE

Well at least some people can make challenges without the authorities being involved. I think you'd better start my car for me later, Coach.

 

COACH

Having trouble with the starte....HEY!

 

COLE

Well folks, coming up next, it's a tag team match, it's going to be Alfdogg teaming with...

 

*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*

 

COACH

I don't think it's him!

 

COLE

Wait a minute!

 

With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. As smoke fills the entryway and the lights flicker on and off in the entrance, Tha Puerto Rican walks through the smoke and towards the ring area, holding his Corporate Champion belt, and wearing his Corporate suit and tie.

 

COLE

What's PR doing out here? He's not part of this match!

 

PR walks around the ring, sneering at fans, and towards the announce table.

 

COACH

Hey, he's comin' to join us! Have a seat, champ!

 

PR grabs a headset and puts it on. He places his Corporate Champion belt on the announcer's table.

 

COLE

So, what brings you out here for this match?

 

”THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN

As The Corporate Champion, it is my job to seek out the best in wrestling. So, I’m out to watch two of the greatest athletes in the world today battle it out against the two biggest jabronies on God’s green Earth.

 

COLE

And who might you be talking about?

 

PRL

Why of course, Hoff and Drek Stone!

 

Hypnotize by System of a Down plays, and the arena fills with boos as Drek Stone walks through the curtains, followed by Hoff.

 

BUFFER

The following is a tag team contest, scheduled for one fall! Making their way down the aisle, at a total combined weight of 510 pounds! Introducing first...he is a former TWO-TIME heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...Ladies and gentlemen, from Minneapolis, Minnesota...HOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

 

*Crowd boos, as Hoff raises his right fist in the air. PRL claps.*

 

BUFFER

His tag team partner hails from Brooklyn, New York, and is himself a former Heavyweight champion of the WORLD! And on August 27th, at AngleSlam, looks to equal his partner's accomplishment in the main event. Ladies and gentlemen..."RECKLESS" DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREK SSSSSSSSTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!!!!!

 

Drek holds his arms out as the crowd showers him with boos, then climbs into the ring along with Hoff. They pose arrogantly in front of the fans, and trade various insults with them, as God of Thunder hits and the crowd stands on its feet to welcome Thunderkid.

 

BUFFER

Their opponents...introducing first, hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, and weighing in at 255 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!!

 

Thunderkid slaps hands with some fans as he walks down the aisle, then stops at the end of the aisleway, as Magnum Opus hits and Alfdogg makes his way down the aisle.

 

BUFFER

His opponent, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is the REIGNING TWO-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...ALFDOGG!!!!!

 

Alf meets TK in the aisle, and the two look at each other, then up at the ring, before sliding in, where they're jumped by Drek and Hoff!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

ALFDOGG AND THUNDERKID vs. HOFF AND "RECKLESS" DREK STONE

Drek hammers away on TK, as Hoff drags Alf into a corner and fires off rights. Drek and Hoff continue to hammer away at their opponents, then set up for a double Irish whip. TK reverses Drek, however, and Alf clotheslines him in mid-ring! Alf then joins with TK, as they double-clothesline Hoff to the mat! TK then delivers a dropkick to Hoff, sending him over the top, while Alf clotheslines Drek to the floor on the other side!

 

COLE

And Thunderkid and Alfdogg get this match started right!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

How so? They’re cheating! The both of them are not suppose to be in the ring at the same time! Why doesn’t the referee force one of them to the outside?

 

COACH

He’s right, you know.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Tha Puerto Rican thanks you, Coach.

 

As Hoff and Drek get up and gain their senses, they're hit with stereo planchas by Alf and TK, respectively! After some brief clubberin' on the floor, Alf and TK drag their foes around the ring and whip them into one another! They then roll back in as the crowd gets to their feet and applauds!

 

PRL

That’s the problem with these two! They care more about the fans, than they do the match! These fans won’t help you pin your opponent! These fans won’t fight your opponent!

 

COLE

But they can help you PRL. They can give you the fire, the strength to fight back?

 

PRL

That’s a bunch of baloney. Fans are good for one thing, and one thing only: buying your merchandise!

 

COLE

You sure you want to say that on the air…in front of your “Lightning Bolts”?

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

…Oh.

 

Hoff rolls into the ring, as Alf and TK make their way back to their corner. TK steps out, and Alf circles the ring with Hoff. They tie up, and Hoff easily back him into the corner. Alf is able to turn it around, and the referee steps in between the two, allowing Hoff to get in a cheap shot, stunning Alf! Hoff hammers away with knees to the midsection and blows to the back, then picks Alf up and delivers a slap to the face before whipping him into the ropes. Alf hops over Hoff, then ducks a clothesline, then catches him with a Hart Attack clothesline! Alf springs to his feet, as Hoff gets to his, and Hoff turns around into a return slap! Hoff holds his face for a second, then looks at his hand, before taking a wild swing at Alf. Alf ducks, and lifts Hoff for an atomic drop! Drek makes the mistake of climbing into the ring, and Alf turns and delivers the move, causing Hoff to crash into Drek, knocking Drek right back out of the ring!

 

COLE

What a great move from Alfdogg!

 

PRL

Oh wow. Big whoop. Anything Alfdogg can do, I can do better!

 

Alf then wrings the arm of Hoff, hammering away on it, before tagging TK in. TK comes off the top rope with a chop to the exposed arm, then wrings it once again, yanking down on it, then hooking it around his neck and lifting him for a vertical suplex, bringing Hoff down HARD to the mat! However, Hoff is able to roll over and tag in Drek.

 

COLE

And now Drek Stone is in the match.

 

PRL

All right. Let’s see how the only man worthy enough to hold the Puerto Rican Championship, other than myself, does.

 

Drek looks TK up and down briefly, before circling the ring. They tie up, and TK backs Drek into the corner. Drek turns it around, and lays knees into the stomach, then fires off rights. TK turns Drek around, and delivers midsection blows and forearms to the chest. TK whips Drek across the ring hard, and Drek staggers out. TK grabs him by the arm and whips him across the other way, and Drek staggers out once again, and this time TK lifts him overhead in a PRESS SLAM~! TK turns around with him, and Hoff steps into the ring, only to have his partner tossed into his arms! Drek and Hoff roll to the outside together, and Alf steps into the ring, giving TK a signal. TK gets by the ropes, and BACKDROPS a charging Alf over the ropes, right down onto Drek and Hoff! Alf then rolls back into the ring and the referee ushers him out.

 

COLE

Alf and TK have been in control for the majority of the match!

 

PRL

What’s the big deal with Thunderkid, huh? What’s so special about him? He looks like a big muscular goofball. Why do these people love him?

 

COLE

Perhaps because he fights fair. Because he never complains, never whines. Because he always fights to the best of his ability.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Nope. Still don’t see it.

 

Drek staggers back to his feet, and TK grabs his wrists and drags him back inside, where he drops down to his knees and bars the arm. He wrenches back, but Drek eventually works his way to his feet and backs him into his corner, where he makes a tag to Hoff. Drek hammers away briefly, until the referee ushers him out. Hoff takes over, delivering a vertical suplex, then floating over for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

Hoff picks up TK and whips him into the ropes, but puts his head down, and TK delivers a shot to the face! TK then tags Alf back in, who starts slugging away. He backs Hoff into a corner, and perches himself on the second rope, holding his fist out to the crowd, which cheers in response, then counts away...

 

ONE!!!

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

THREE!!!

 

 

FOUR!!!

 

 

FIVE!!!

 

 

SIX!!!

 

 

SEVEN!!!

 

 

EIGHT!!!

 

 

NINE!!!

 

 

TEN!!!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

SHEEP! You are all…sheep. Baaaaaaah.

 

Alf then bends down and BITES Hoff right on the forehead! Hoff walks out holding his head, and Alf follows up with a snap suplex! Alf then executes a snap legdrop, and covers...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

That wasn’t enough to end the match.

 

PRL (Sarcastically)

Oh darn. I am SO sad about that.

 

Alf tags TK back in, and TK delivers a TIGER BOMB~! He starts to cover, but Drek hops in, so he hops up and catches Drek with an inverted atomic drop! TK sets up for the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 as the referee is ushering Alf out, allowing Drek to hook TK from behind, and drop him with a SIDE EFFECT~!

 

COLE

Drek coming through for his team with the Side Effect!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

All right Drek! Now finish that jabroni off!

 

Hoff covers as the referee is turning around...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

The kickout! The match continues!

 

Hoff picks up TK, and delivers a SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE~!, which actually sends TK staggering backwards and out to the floor! Alf goes to help him up, but the referee forces him back to his corner. This allows Drek to jump down to the floor, and grab TK and ram him into the steep steps! Drek then tosses TK back into the ring, where Hoff grabs him and delivers a gutwrench suplex! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Hoff follows that with a belly-to-belly! And another cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

PRL

Why won’t he stay down? WHY?

 

Hoff delivers a knee to the lower back, then applies a Boston crab!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Here we go baby! That’s it! THAT’S IT! REALLY WRENCH ON THAT HOLD! HA! HA! HA!

 

TK screams out in pain, as Alf reaches his hand out from the corner. TK pushes himself up, but Hoff forces him right back down. So TK starts scooting towards the ropes, and eventually reaches them with his left hand!

 

PRL

DAMNIT!

 

The referee forces Hoff to break, so Hoff awaits TK, and delivers a backbreaker, then tags in Drek. Drek immediately hooks the legs, and turns TK over into a Texas Cloverleaf!

 

PRL

Ooh! I like this! I like this very much!

 

COLE

Thunderkid is once again caught in a devastating submission hold!

 

TK again is wincing in pain, as Drek really cinches back on the hold. However, TK has the power edge, and is once again able to scoot over and grab the bottom rope! Drek hops up, and delivers a neckbreaker to TK, before tagging Hoff in once again. Hoff drops down and drives an elbow, then covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Shoulder up!

 

PRL

Come on Hoff and Drek! Make mince meat out of Alfdogg and Thunderdick!

 

Hoff whips TK into the ropes. TK ducks a clothesline, and then both men clothesline each other! Both men inch to their corner, looking to make tags. Drek is tagged in, and runs right over and takes a cheap shot at Alf!

 

PRL

HA! HA!

 

Alf hops into the ring, and is restrained by the referee, as Drek and Hoff both grab a leg of TK, and make a wish with them! TK rolls over to a neutral corner, and Drek charges, but is met with feet to the face! TK then comes out with a clothesline to Hoff! TK inches over, and as the referee forces Drek to the outside, makes the tag to Alf!

 

COLE

The tag is made! Alfdogg is in the match again!

 

However, the referee missed it, and forces Alf out once again! Hoff then grabs TK and holds him back, as Drek measures him for a SUPERKICK...which connects with Hoff as TK ducks out of the way! Drek puts his hands on his head, then checks on Hoff as TK makes a (legal) tag to Alf! Alf slowly steps into the ring, ready to throw down once again with Drek, who stares him down on the other side. The two meet each other mid-ring, and immediately begin slugging it out!

 

COLE

And Alfdogg, getting it on with the man he will meet in 3 weeks at AngleSlam!

 

Alf eventually gets the better of the exchange, but Drek goes to the eyes. Drek then delivers a foot to the gut, and sets up a RUNNING POWERBOMB~! However, Alf is able to counter with a HURRICANRANA~! Alf delivers rights to the head, then gets up, waits on Drek, and delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY OVERHEAD~! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Hoff saves!

 

PRL

Close call!

 

The camera focuses on PRL’s Corporate Champion belt. PRL sees the camera, and does the Corporate Eyebrow. TK comes back in and delivers a Cactus clothesline to Hoff, sending both men to the floor! Meanwhile, Alf delivers a T-BONE SUPLEX to Drek! Meanwhile, on the floor, Hoff rams TK into the ringpost, then slides back into the ring with a chair, as Alf sets up Drek for a WHIPLASH~! Hoff grabs the chair by its top and rams the legs into Alf's crotch! Alf drops Drek and sinks to the mat as the referee calls for the bell!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

The match has ended! This match has been thrown out!

 

PRL

Why? Because of THAT? Geez, that’s nothing! I could do worst than that!

 

Drek then grabs the chair from Hoff, and slams it over the back of Alf! He then waits for Alf to get up...and hooks him, dropping him with the STONECUTTER~!!!!!11111

 

COACH

And if that happens at AngleSlam, Drek will be holding that belt for a second time!

 

Alf is out of it on the mat, and TK comes back into the ring, to be met with a chair SMACKED across his forehead by Drek!

 

COLE

Wow, STEEL across the SKULL of TK!

 

PRL

Heh, heh, that was great!

 

Drek makes a motion to Hoff, who lifts Alf up and ties him in the ropes, then slaps him around to bring him to his senses. Alf struggles in attempt to get free, and Drek rams the chair into Alf's midsection, before once again cracking TK, who was busted open, a second time with it!

 

COLE

And Alf now forced to watch this assault on TK!

 

PRL

Yes! Keep it going Hoff! Keep it going Drek! Make Thunderkid suffer! Make him SQUEAL like a pig! Make him SQQQQUUEEEAAAALLLL!

 

Hoff then grabs TK in a rear facelock, as Drek goes to the second rope.

 

COLE

Oh no, it can't be...

 

COACH

Oh, this is going to be GREAT!

 

PRL

Indeed, it will be, Coach!

 

Hoff lifts TK upright, and Drek comes off the second rope, and they drive TK with a SPIKE FUTURE SHOCK~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

OH MY GOD!

 

TK is motionless on the mat, as Hypnotize plays and Drek and Hoff taunt the fans that are showering them with boos. Drek rams Alf with the chair one more time before leaving the ring area.

 

COLE

Thunderkid has been beaten senseless by Hoff and Drek! They must be trying to send a message to Alfdogg that this will be his fate come August 27th!

 

PRL

And I bet Alfie got that message. He is in for HELL on August 27th! And if you ask me, it’s about time!

 

COLE

Are you just bitter that you didn’t beat Alfdogg for the World Heavyweight Title?

 

PRL

…No.

 

Officials come to the ring to check on TK, and also untie Alf from the ropes. Alf checks on TK briefly, then looks back to the locker room, and grabs the chair, rushing back to the locker room as the fans cheer him on.

 

COLE

Alfdogg’s going after those two! They’ve got Hell to pay for sure!

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Well gents, it’s been nice commentating with you, but I must be going right about now.

 

Tha Puerto Rican puts down his headset, grabs his Corporate Champion belt, and leaves Sofa Central.

 

COLE

P.R., P.—Where is he going?

 

COACH

It looks like he’s going to the ring!

 

COLE

Oh no! Not now!

 

As officials check on Thunderkid, PRL casually enters the ring. The crowd starts booing loudly as PRL has a smirk on his face, checking on Thunderkid.

 

COLE

What’s he doing?

 

COACH

He’s just checking on Thunderkid. You know, even though Thunderkid’s been his rival for the past few months, it doesn’t mean that PRL hates him. He doesn’t want him to get injured. PRL respects Thunderkid.

 

COLE

Somehow I don’t believe that.

 

PRL watches for a few seconds…and then jumps into action, stomping on Thunderkid with the shaky kicks!

 

COLE

Now come on! Stop this! Hasn’t Thunderkid been through enough?

 

PR starts choking Thunderkid, which is when the officials FINALLY get involved, pulling The Corporate Champ off of TK. The crowd boos loudly, and chants, “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”

 

COLE

P.R. attacking Thunderkid only AFTER Hoff and Drek Stone beat him down! He was waiting for the right moment to strike like a vulture!

 

The officials hold PRL back. P.R. tries to break through, but can’t. Thunderkid lies on the mat in pain, holding his head.

 

COLE

Thunderkid needs some serious medical attention, and he needs so, now!

 

The officials take Tha Puerto Rican out of the ring. They force him to go up the entrance ramp, his Corporate Champion belt still in the ring.

 

COLE

Officials are finally getting PRL out of the ring. Thank goodness.

 

The crowd has quieted down. PRL is yelling at the officials, trying to force them to let him go. PRL yells, “Jabroni! Candy ass! Asshole! Know your role! Shut your mouth!” and all the other Rock-isms he can think of.

 

THUNDERKID

Hey! Hey PRL! Hey P.R.!

 

Thunderkid has got a microphone now. And he’s sitting on the mat, looking directly at PRL.

 

THUNDERKID

PRL!

 

COLE

Thunderkid’s speaking!

 

COACH

I know, Cole! I know!

 

THUNDERKID

PR, I’ve had it! I’ve had it with you! I’m sick and tired of this bullshit!

 

The crowd pops at the curse word.

 

COLE

Whoa! Hello there!

 

THUNDERKID

P.R., I want a match! I want one more match against you! But not just any match. No, no, what I want...is an “I QUIT” MATCH!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

Did I hear that right? Thunderkid wants to fight PRL in an “I Quit” Match?

 

TK

But that’s not all. Oh no. Just to make sure this is a fair fight, I want our “I Quit” Match…INSIDE A STEEL CAGE!

 

COLE

Thunderkid just upped the ante! He wants to fight PRL in an “I Quit” Match inside a Steel Cage!

 

COACH

Thunderkid’s crazy! He’s crazy, I tells ya!

 

TK

Let’s settle this P.R. Let’s settle this, once and for all. One more time! The final confrontation, an “I Quit” Steel Cage Match at AngleSlam! One more match!

 

Tha Puerto Rican nods his head.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

All right! You got it! One more match! One more match! I accept!

 

COLE

Is Tha Puerto Rican accepting this match?

 

COACH

I think he is, Cole. He wants to fight Thunderkid at AngleSlam! He wants to fight him in a Steel Cage “I Quit” Match!

 

THUNDERKID

So, do you accept my challenge?

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

BRING IT ON!

 

THUNDERKID

You accept? Well then, I’ve got just one more thing left to say: Prepare to bleed at AngleSlam!

 

Thunderkid drops the mic and falls back down to the mat. “God Of Thunder” by KISS starts playing as the crowd cheers. The officials go back to holding PRL back and forcing him up the entrance ramp.

 

COLE

What a match made for AngleSlam! An “I Quit” Match inside a Steel Cage! 16 feet of steel will surround Tha Puerto Rican and Thunderkid as they fight one more time at AngleSlam!

 

COACH

I think Thunderkid might be a little out of it. Does he realize what he’s just done? He’s got PRL in 3 weeks at AngleSlam inside a Steel Cage, and the only way the match ends is when one of them says, “I Quit!”

 

Thunderkid starts to get up in the ring. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and the officials have left through the entrance doors.

 

COLE

This will be one hell of a match in 17 days! P.R./Thunderkid, The Final Confrontation, “I Quit” Match inside a Steel Cage!

 

Thunderkid is getting up. He is breathing hard as he rests his head on a top turnbuckle pad. “God Of Thunder” by KISS is still playing.

 

FADE OUT

 

Up Next: Torneo Cibernetica II!

 

Commercial break

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COLE

It's now time for a match that ended up shocking the nation and won the polls to become the 2005 OAOAST Match of the Year award, as the Torneo Cibernetico makes its return to OAOAST rings, and its debut on an American-made free-TV program!

 

COACH

Last year, if it weren't for a shitty match-maker completely bailing on the division, this was the match that would have made the Women's Division the most exciting side-bar in the entire world. This match is DESIGNED to make wrestling quicker, stronger, more action-packed...if this match bores you, you must be a crank addict!

 

COLE

Last year, the teams in the Cibernetico were picked at random to mix things up. This year, to be a bit different, we've let the teams pick themselves after determining captains for both. The OAOAST Board of Directors gave Rick Heyross, through Brock Auustin, the power to select his team, and James Blonde was given the power to select his.

 

COACH

The rules for this match are as such: it's basically a six-on-six Survivor Series match, only you must follow a batting order of sorts for tagging in and out. The match obviously starts out with the #1's on each team, then they're only allowed to tag out to #2, and those two are only allowed to tag out to #3, and so on. The only other difference is that, if one team eliminates all the members of another team, they must fight amongst each other until one man is left standing.

 

COLE

Another thing that makes this match unique is that, if you're not either in the ring or "on deck", you have to stay on the floor. Unless you're wrestling or you're on the apron since you're the next one in order, the rules state that you must be on the arena floor and staying out of the way.

 

COACH

One thing we forgot: in this type of match, as are terms in lucha libre, going to the floor is the exact same thing as tagging your partner's hand. If you leave the ring, the next guy on your team has to come into the ring.

 

COACH

Both teams were forced to submit their batting orders to the OAOAST Board of Directors before the match, so the referees, one inside and two outside, knew how to enforce the order. Here they are:

 

(Graphic pops up on the screen with the names)

 

TEAM HEYROSS

Sly Sommers

TJ Burns

Dark Predator

Zane Maxwell

Reject

Brock Auustin

 

TEAM BLONDE

Ultra Shago

Otaku

Blonde

Faqu

Heat

Villano X

 

COLE

Looking at those line-ups, it looks like Heyross is going more towards building his team in terms of conditioning. You start off with Sly, who's been apparantly running marathons during his most recent time off and looks to be in the best shape of his life...

 

COACH

And, if you remember, once went to an incredible sixty-minute draw in a World Title bout with Crystal on HeldDOWN~! from Australia...

 

COLE

...then going onto TJ Burns, a wrestling machine AND the X-Division Champion, before going into Predator, trained in the lucha style, and Maxwell, who's a born athlete. They end off with Reject and Auustin, who while he is an absolute beast, is still by far the biggest man on his team and the most likely to suffer from a lack of stamina. Therefore, hitting clean-up is probably the best spot for him.

 

COACH

Team Snakes looks to be more focused on wrestlers who are on the high-flying, faster-paced side of things, with the lucha-trained Villano and Shago, as well as the high-flying, high-impact Colombian Heat. It is interesting that Blonde would risk his friend and biggest man on the team, Faqu, in the middle of the line-up.

 

COLE

You also cannot forget the escalating issue between Brock and Otaku, which could explode here!

 

COACH

Also, as we saw earlier, Colombian Heat took out Gibraltar and got his revenge for being slammed face-first onto a car a couple of months back...so his head has to be elsewhere!

 

COLE

One other note: in a bizarre twist of events, the HI-GATE Brave Cup Champion, Ultra Shago, is teaming with the champion of the group that HI-GATE split from, HI-YAH.

 

COACH

True...without any further ado, let's go to the ring!

 

"Punishment" by Biohazard starts up, as Rick Heyross, with clipboard in hand, leads his army to the ring. They all slowly jog, led by Reject, then Sly Sommers, decked out in a crimson boxing robe, followed by Zane Maxwell and Dark Predator, then TJ Burns, and bringing up the rear is team captain Brock Auustin!

 

COLE

I've got to say: that's one hell of a team assembled for this bout!

 

BUFFER

The following contest is the Torneo Cibernetica! Introducing first, led to the ring by Rick Heyross...weighing in at a combined 1,715 pounds...the team of Reject, Sly Sommers, "The Capturist" Zane Maxwell, Dark Predator, the OAOAST X-Division Champion TJ Burns, and Brock Auustin!

 

Every name being announced gets boos from the crowd, with the exception of scattered cheers for the team captain.

 

The lights then dim, as a dim green light goes over the building like a blanket...the screams of Samuel L Jackson blare from the PA system..>

 

"I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' PLANE!"

 

"Snakes on a Plane" by Cobra Starship then starts up, as Team Snakes heads out to the ring! James Blonde's out first with Faqu, followed by Ultra Shago, then Ultimo Villano and Colombian Heat, the two Spanish-speakers. Otaku II, pumped up as ever, brings up the rear. They're all wearing pictures of snakes on their pants/tights.

 

COLE

My lord...it's Team Snakes on a Plane!

 

Shago and Villano run around the ring and slap hands with the fans, as the other four go to their corner. They're all color-coordinating with green-and-black ring gear.

 

BUFFER

Their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of 1,248 pounds...the team of Ultimo Villano X, HI-GATE Brave Cup Champion Ultra Shago, Colombian Heat, the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion Faqu, Otaku II, and James Blonde!

 

COLE

We got some comments from Otaku II earlier in the night, so let's go to them now.

 

The screen goes in a picture-in-picture mode with Otaku's face in front of a HD backdrop in the upper left corner. He looks right into the camera.

 

Otaku: Brock! Brock! Look at me! See? Don't wear a mask no more! You took that away from me, Brock! Keep your eyes on the prize! Keep your eyes on me! Don't get distracted swinging at windmills. I'm the real thing, and I can hurt you, Brock. I took your title, the Heartland Championship. You want to impress me Brock? You want to show me how good your sharpshooter is? Try putting it on me tonight in the Torneo Cibernetica, I dare you!

 

The frame disappears as both teams gather on the floor or in their corner, around their team captain (or in Team Auustin's case, their coach) to discuss last-minute gameplans.

 

*BELL RINGS*

 

COLE

Here we go!

 

Sly, wearing crimson-and-white bicycle tights, and Shago, wearing tassles on the back of his mask that resemble snakes, enter the ring, with TJ Burns and Otaku II in the corners. The crowd starts to clap in rhythm in anticipation, as the two grapplers circle the ring. They charge into a collar-and-elbow tie-up, which Sly quickly transitiions into a British head-vice, lacing his fingers behind Shago's head while having his forearms bent at a 45-degree angle around the ears. Shago responds by applying a bearhug-like grip around Sly's waist. Sly transitions from the head-vice into a double-overhook on Shago's arms to advert the bearhug, taking that right into a twisting sumo-style takedown. Sly goes to a quick lateral press...

 

ONE!

 

Kickout!

 

Sly, staying over the grounded Shago, grabs both hands in a double-knucklelock, and tries holding him down that way...

 

ONE!

 

Shago gets the right arm up. That causes Sly to put more weight down on the right arm...

 

ONE!

 

Shago gets the left arm up! Sly stands to a bent position, holding both arms down, and leaps up, looking to crash down on Shago with all of his weight. But, Shago puts his feet up, and they roll back to Sly coming to a standing position, with Shago being launched up Sly's body, going up and over his head and into a sunset flip!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

Sly kicks out! They both roll to their feet. Sly grabs a headlock on Shago, into a headlock takedown. Shago lifts his legs up and crosses them, wrapping his left arm between his legs. He quickly scoots forward, escaping the headlock before kipping up! Shago leaps over Sly, ruining his attempts to trip up the exciting Japanese junior heavyweight. Sly tries again from behind, but Shago incredibly does a backflip over Sly! Sly turns over onto his stomach, and Shago leaps over him on his way to running the ropes. Sly's back up and Shago ducks a clothesline. Shago springboards to the second rope and does a backflip over Sly before he can turn around, using his momentum to grab onto Sly and bring him over with an armdrag!

 

COLE

This kid is SO damn fast! He has to have hover-shoes or something!

 

Sly rolls to his feet and charges at Shago. Shago side-steps Sly and sends him off with a bi paso. Sly comes off of the ropes and ducks under a leapfrog. Shago doesn't turn around, as Sly comes off of the ropes again. Shago leaps up again, but gets caught in an electric chair by Sly. Sly whips the left leg over, twisting Shago in mid-air as he falls to the mat. But, Ultra Shago is able to wrap his legs around Sly and get into a wheelbarrow position, pushing up off of the mat with both arms to bounce back up. Ultra Shago grabs Sly's arm and brings him over with an armdrag out of the wheelbarrow.

 

COACH

This is the type of fast-paced action that one can come to expect from the Cibernetico!

 

Both men roll to their feet, and Shago charges at Sly...but Sly takes advantage of his opponent's size disadvantage and lifts him up in a gorilla press! Sly talks some trash while holding Shago up, then tosses him up for what looks to be a gutbuster...but Shago reverses it into another armdrag! Sommers pops up in a tizzy. Shago charges at him, grabs Sly's left arm under his armpit and leaps onto the middle rope in one motion, then leaps backwards into a courting-hold armdrag! Sly rolls up yet again, and Shago once again charges at him...Sly lifts Shago up for a tilt-a-whirl...but even THAT gets reversed into an armdrag!

 

COACH

He's embarrassing the former X Division Champion!

 

Shago charges at Sly again...and runs right into a stiff European uppercut! Sly clasps Shago's head into a cravate before he can collapse to the mat, dragging Shago to the Team Brock corner with his head viced. TJ Burns tags himself in. Sly snapmares Shago to a seated position, allowing the current X Division Champion to connect with a catapult Hennig Neck Snap! TJ immediately goes for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

Rope Break!

 

Burns turns Shago over, right into a grounded front facelock. TJ cranks underneath Shago's chin, but slowly he starts to push up with all of his might underneath Burns, trying desperately to get to his feet. He gets to a kneeling position, forcing TJ to come onto his knees also. TJ tries getting good positioning to keep Ultra Shago down on the mat, but Shago is able to trick Burns, who's focusing all of his effort on placing his weight downward, and grabs the left wrist, twisting his way out and into a side wristlock on Burns! Shago yanks with all of his weight and power to back up into his corner, where he tags in Otaku II while TJ Burns pulls his arm out of Shago's clutches and quickly backs up!

 

COACH

TJ Burns doesn't know what to do, and both teams have their #2's in!

 

Burns takes a second to re-group, as Otaku II enters the ring. TJ gets back to his feet and offers his hand for a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Otaku looks around to his teammates and the crowd to see if he should take it before reluctantly joining hands with Burns...who proves his untrustworthiness by taking advantage with a spinkick to the stomach. TJ backs up and comes off of the ropes to drop down and connect with an upward dropkick that sends the bent-over Otaku onto his back. Burns immediately leaps on for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

T...Kickout!

 

TJ pulls Otaku to his feet with a front facelock, but Otaku backs up into a neutral corner, forcing a break. The referee counts down for a clean break...

 

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

 

TJ lets go at four...but then leaps up to the middle rope with one foot and kicks Otaku II in the face with the other! TJ snapmares Otaku out of the corner, quickly bounces off of the nearest ropes, and connects with a snap legdrop across the throat! He goes for the pin, but Otaku sticks his shoulder up immediately out of instinct. TJ grabs the arm stuck up...but he seemingly took the proverbial bait, as that allows Otaku to come up from under TJ and get on top, applying a front facelock of his own while holding the X-Division Champion down!

 

COLE

Otaku is a top mat warrior and has incredible ring awareness...definately one of the more underrated aspects of a great wrestler by those who've never donned the boots.

 

Otaku cranks onto the hold, as Burns struggles to find an escape. He tries a lateral roll...but Otaku has a good enough grip that he's able to keep ahold of the front facelock the entire roll, causing Burns to stomp his feet behind him in frustration. Burns tries to roll back the other way...same result, to cheers from the crowd! Within a flash, Otaku switches his left hand grip to behind the thigh, immediately gripping his hands together and rolling Burns over into a ball-and-chain pin...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

TJ rolls onto his back, which leaves the opening for Otaku to go into the referee's position behind him and rush the half (use a half-nelson to turn the opponent over) into another pin...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

Within a matter of seconds, he almost pinned the X-Division Champion TWICE!

 

TJ crawls away like a flash, leaping into the ropes to back Otaku up! The referee forces Otaku II to back up and give TJ Burns some space, which he does. Burns takes his sweet time to climb back up to his feet, as the boos mount amongst a few scattered cheers. Otaku charges in, as TJ uses the top rope to yank himself up and kick Otaku in the stomach with both feet. Burns looks tired of dealing with Otaku, as he tosses him into the Team Brock corner sloppily and tags in Dark Predator.

 

COACH

Team Brock's the first to use their #3 hand, as Zane Maxwell climbs up to the apron in the on-deck circle...

 

Predator grabs onto the top rope with both hands, catapults himself over the top rope, then turns around while keeping ahold of the top rope, using the momentum to catapult himself even harder into Otaku with a dropkick to the chest! That sends Otaku down to a seated position, as Dark Predator rolls backward to his feet and charges with a low dropkick to the chest! Predator pulls Otaku out of the corner and rolls into a jackknife pin...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Predator immediately pops up to his feet, and seeing that Otaku's turned ever-so-slightly, he kicks him stiffly right on the spine! Predator grabs onto Otaku's hair illegally and pulls him up, ignoring the referee's warning, then sends him off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Predator goes for a rolling Koppo kick, but Otaku reverses by grabbing the front leg, literally picking Dark Predator up by it, and walking over to Team Snakes's corner, where he tags in the team captain! James Blonde tells Otaku to hold Predator in place, as he comes off of the ropes and dropkicks his upside-down opponent in the face!

 

COLE

Tree of Woe? More like Tree of Oww!

 

Otaku goes to the floor, as Faqu climbs to the apron. Blonde goes for the cover on Predator...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Predator kicks out. Blonde pulls Predator to his feet with a side headlock, so Predator shoves Blonde off to the ropes. James Blonde comes running back and ducks under a leapfrog. Predator rolls on his back, looking for a monkey flip, as Blonde bounces off of the ropes on the other end, but James Blonde cartwheels to evade the move! Blonde tries charging at Predator, who escapes danger by bringing Blonde down with a drop toe hold. He floats over to the side and performs an Oklahoma Roll...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both come up and Predator goes for a Fujiwara armbar takedown, which results in Blonde rolling forward to escape, then bringing his Japanese opponent down with a drop toe hold of his own, leading to an Oklahoma Roll of his own...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Predator's visibly pissed off, as he delivers a stiff spinkick to the kidney area as soon as both are up to their feet. Blonde goes down, holding his side, as Dark Predator drags him by the foot to Team Brock's corner. Predator tags out to Zane Maxwell, as Reject takes his spot in the batter's circle. Zane comes into the ring and immediately connects with a kneedrop to the same spot that the kick landed. Zane then puts all of his weight on top of Blonde and delivers an old school-yard punk-out, balling up his right fist and rubbing the knuckle into the targetted kidney area as hard as he can.

 

COLE

Wicked massage!

 

Blonde is able to slowly crawl out, causing Zane to grab Blonde by the arm and pull him up to his feet into a bearhug position, then charging Blonde into a neutral corner, going shoulder-first into Blonde's kidney area. Zane connects with another shoulder charge to the gut, then snapmares Blonde over. Zane slides onto his rear end and locks in a bodyscissors on Blonde, applying pressure to the kidneys. Maxwell presses down on his thighs to tighten the lock, but Blonde reaches outward to the crowd, as his team aids the crowd in getting behind him. Blonde, looking to be in immense pain, slowly pushes back with his feet, bridging backwards and pinning Maxwell's shoulders to the mat...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Maxwell rolls to his side and gets Blonde pinned in an O'Connor Roll...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Blonde comes to his feet and gets blasted with a knee to the ribs! Zane grabs a cravate and tries dragging Blonde to his corner...but Blonde is able to twist out into a wristlock on Maxwell! Maxwell rolls away, as Blonde rolls backwards to his corner...both tag out at the same time! Reject cautiously enters the ring, as Faqu looks to be ready for a fight!

 

COACH

Only one more completely fresh man on each team...

 

Reject looks to his partners for help, who all basically shrug at him...so he charges forward recklessly and runs right into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex from Faqu! Reject comes to his feet, holding his back...and walks into a HARD left-handed slap to the face! It's followed by a right, then another left! Faqu shoves Reject back into the ropes and goes for an Irish whip, but Reject slides between Faqu's legs. Faqu turns around, right into a spinning wheel kick! COVER!

 

ONE!

 

TW...Kickout!

 

Reject rushes to his feet and knees Faqu in the side of the head before he can rise to his feet. Reject goes for a front facelock, but Faqu reverses into a fireman's carry, going right into a short-arm scissors! But, Reject quickly reaches the ropes! Faqu breaks immediately, as Reject clinches onto the ropes for dear life. Reject cautiously rises to his feet, then rolls under a lariat attempt, leaps to his corner...and tags in Brock Auustin!

 

CROWD

OOOOOOH!

 

COACH

Didn't think these two bulldozers would encounter each other so soon in the bout!

 

Auustin enters the ring, as flashbulbs go off in the crowd. They lock eyes intensely, trying to psyche one another out. It seems like an eternity, as the buzz rises...and they charge! Collar-and-elbow lock-up, and both men move sporadically, trying to gain the advantage on the other bull! They struggle intensely, then Brock drops to his knees quickly to push back up and get a big charge, as he powers Faqu into a neutral corner! Brock backs out of the corner...and pie-faces Faqu! The pissed-off Samoa charges out of the corner, clinches Brock, and sends him into the opposite neutral corner! He goes nuts with forearm strikes!

 

COLE

That's why you don't make that man mad!

 

Faqu throws a few more forearm strikes before Brock's able to will his way underneath one into a go-behind...RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Faqu lands on his head...and gets RIGHT BACK UP! Faqu even slaps himself in the face for good measure, then charges at Brock...but Brock goes down low and lifts Faqu for the F-Stunner-5! Brock walks to center-ring with the large Samoan on his shoulders, but Faqu is able to deliver enough elbow strikes to the side of Brock's head to escape! Faqu then gets Brock up on his shoulders for his patented Death Valley Driver...but Brock slips out of that!

 

COACH

These two don't get paid by the hour!

 

Brock tries going for the Katsahajime, but Faqu gets a go-behind before Brock can lock it in...Faqu goes for a rear choke, but Brock brings Faqu over with a judo throw before he can get it applied! Auustin goes for a reverse triangle choke, but Faqu brings Brock down with a single-leg takedown that he attempts to transition into a half-crab. However, Auustin has such freakishly-strong legs that he's able to push Faqu off with them! Faqu falls back, but comes right back to his feet. Faqu charges at Brock, who's backed up against the ropes...but Auustin pulls down on the top rope, causing the momentum to send Faqu flying to the floor!

 

COLE

MY LORD!

 

Faqu lands on his feet and tries to climb back in, but the referee has to step in, as hitting the floor is the same as making a tag! Faqu and Brock stare each other down intensely, as Colombian Heat enters the ring, unnoticed by Brock. Heat looks around at the crowd, who are motioning for him to do something...so he goes behind Brock and goes for a schoolboy...

 

ONE!

 

 

TW...KICKOUT!

 

Brock kicks out so hard that Heat goes rolling and almost tumbles out of the ring! Heat gets to his feet, as Brock's up and staring him down like a piece of tender meat. Colombian Heat, looking tenative as ever, goes "What the hell?" and charges at Brock! But, Brock immediately lifts him up into a gorilla press! Brock walks around in a circle, doing presses with Heat, before Rick Heyross jumps up onto the apron and yells...

 

HEYROSS

TOSS HIM! TOSS HIM!

 

So, Brock turns towards a neutral side of the ring...and delivers the gorilla press slam to the floor! Heat crashes back-first and rolls around in pain, holding his lower back!

 

COLE

C'MON!

 

Ultimo Villano X kips into the ring, as he's apparantly clueless as to how much of a monster Brock Auustin is. Villano then shrugs...and climbs to the top rope! Brock turns around after giggling at the pain that he's caused...and walks right into a dropkick to the face from the top! But, Brock shrugs it off! Ultimo kips up and sees it didn't effect Brock...then falls back down in fear! Brock growls at Villano, scaring him back onto his feet! Villano comes off of the ropes and goes for a flying headscissors...but Brock catches him! Brock holds him for what seems like forever...then hurls him high in the air, and knees him in the face on the way down!

 

COACH

That's not humane!

 

Villano's out completely cold, but Brock pulls him up. Brock has to hold Villano up by the back of the trunks just to make sure he doesn't fall back down...then hooks him in a double-underhook and just flings him in mid-air...no powerbomb, no suplex, just throws him in the air to an almost-full rotation faceplant! The referee's yelling at Brock to end the massacre, but Brock ignores the ref. Rick yells at Brock again...

 

HEYROSS

FINISH HIM!

 

Brock smirks, then lifts Villano onto his shoulders...F-STUNNER-5! Brock slithers on top of Villano...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

BUFFER

Ultimo Villano X has been eliminated!

 

*************

ULTIMO VILLANO X

(Team Snakes)

Team Entry # 6

Eliminated By: Brock Auustin

Eliminated: 1st (Team & Overall)

Eliminations: None

**************

 

Brock cockily rolls Villano out of the ring with his foot, as Ultra Shago enters the ring to re-start the batting order for Team Snakes. Brock turns around and makes a signal with his hand for Shago to bring it on. So, Shago charges at Brock, does a one-legged dropkick into a backflip back onto his feet...and Brock laughs at it! So, Shago comes off of the ropes, ducks under a back elbow from Auustin, and comes off of the ropes on the other side. He runs at Brock...and gets BLASTED with a lariat that causes him to take a backflip face-plant!

 

COACH

Some lucky fan just got Ultra Shago's head in their popcorn!

 

Brock pulls Shago up by the mask and lifts him for the F-Stunner-5...but then he notices who's next in the batting order: Otaku II. Otaku & Brock lock eyes, as time seems to stand still. Otaku II desperately wants in, as Brock's so intently locked in on Otaku that Shago's able to slip out of the F-Stunner-5! Brock notices this just as Shago rolls by and tags in Otaku II! The crowd cheers as Otaku rushes into the ring, and it's on! These two go back and forth with strikes, as they're connecting rather well...

 

COACH

This is what happens when two very, very bad men get very, very angry at one another.

 

Closed fists from both men cause the referee to try and break up this exchange...and they both toss him over the top rope! One of the referees on the floor calls for the bell right there! BOTH men have been disqualified!

 

(BOOS FROM THE CROWD)

 

BUFFER

BOTH Brock Auustin and Otaku II have been ELIMINATED!

 

************

BROCK AUUSTIN

(Team Brock)

Team Entry #6

Eliminated By: Self

Eliminated: 2nd (tie) (overall), 1st (team)

Eliminations: Ultimo Villano

**************

 

*************

OTAKU II

(Team Snakes)

Team Entry #2

Eliminated by: Self

Eliminated: 2nd (tie) (overall & team)

Eliminations: None

**************

 

COLE

Team Snakes is down 5-4, and Team Brock's down a leader, but this crowd sounds like they don't care!

 

The crowd's a scattering of boos from the elimination and cheers from the brawl between the two enemies falling out of the ring and going up the ramp! Rick Heyross follows the brawl, as he tries to get his man calmed down!

 

COACH

We need SOMETHING to protect everyone backstage, if that referee's any indication of this mayhem!

 

As Otaku & Brock go through the curtain, James Blonde and Sly Sommers enter the ring, along with a new referee, as TJ Burns and Faqu go to their corners. Blonde comes to mid-ring, as Sly charges at him...but gets sent off to the ropes with a bi paso. Sommers comes off of the ropes and goes under a leapfrog from James. Sly comes off of the other end and leaps over a drop-down from Blonde. Sly comes off of the ropes and grabs James' arm, twisting around and sending Blonde off to the ropes on the other side with an Irish whip. Blonde comes off of the ropes and flips onto his feet out of a hiptoss, keeps ahold of the arm, and brings Sly over with an armdrag!

 

COLE

Blonde looks like the brief rest in the corner's possibly helped out his side injury.

 

Sly pops up and goes for a dropkick, but Blonde swats it out of the air. He leaps over Sly and comes off of the ropes. Sly pops up and gets brought over with a flying headscissors! Sly rolls back to his feet and runs into a sit-out hiptoss, then Blonde goes for the cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Sly crawls away and tries begging off on his knees. Blonde goes after Sly...and runs into a headbutt right to the kidney area! Blonde goes down in a heap, holding his side. Sly gets up to a chorus of boos, points to his brain to irritate the crowd and his opponents, then whips Blonde into a neutral corner. Sly charges at Blonde, then charges into the corner and nails a diving lariat in which Sly's legs fly through the ropes! Sly slinks between the top and bottom rope and gets to the apron. He shoves Blonde by the back of the head, causing him to do a forward roll into mid-ring. Sly yells to TJ Burns to climb up top. Sly and TJ climb up top in different corners...TJ leaps off and connects with a top rope legdrop as Sly connects with a flying elbow drop!

 

COLE

Team Brock looks to be gelling without their fearless leader and coach!

 

Sly rolls out of the ring as Dark Predator climbs to the corner, and TJ goes for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

TJ sits Blonde up and applies a seated abdominal stretch. Burns cranks on the hold, as Blonde reaches out and screams in pain. The crowd chants...

 

CROWD

BLONDE!

BLONDE!

BLONDE!

 

Blonde slowly bridges up to his feet, as he forces TJ to come up to his feet to try and retain the hold. The crowd gets to a fever pitch, as Blonde is able to escape by delivering a hiptoss backbreaker! Blonde leaps over and tags in Faqu! Faqu comes into the ring, looking like a killer, and TJ looks up. He goes to the apron, and Faqu chases after! TJ stands across from Faqu on the apron, and charges at the X-Division Champion! But, TJ slingshots himself back into the ring and the momentum sends Faqu jogging down the ring steps and to the floor!

 

COLE

TJ Burns just showed off some intelligence to compliment the athleticism!

 

Faqu tries getting back into the ring, but the referee again has to tell him to go back to his corner, as Colombian Heat comes into the ring. Heat runs into the ring..and runs right into an STO backbreaker! TJ pulls Heat up and charges him into Team Brock's corner. Burns holds onto Heat and tags in Dark Predator. As the referee counts to five, TJ lifts Heat up into Hart-Attack position and Predator slingshots himself over the top rope, leaps onto the second rope on the catty-corner side of that corner, and nails a back elbow to the small of Heat's back before TJ drops him with a front spinebuster! TJ rolls out and Zane Maxwell rolls into the ring.

 

COACH

Team Brock apparantly have a seperate gameplan for each opponent, and for Heat, it's his back being attacked.

 

Predator goes for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Predator pulls Heat up to his feet and tosses Heat over with a release Northern Lights suplex. Heat turns over on his stomach, holding his back in pain. So, Dark Predator runs, bounces off of the ropes, and connects with a hard back senton! Predator pops up and connects with an ax stomp to the back. Predator quickly pulls Heat up and snaps him down with a side backbreaker. Predator tries to hold onto Heat to hold him down for a backbreaker submission over the knee, but Heat is able to quickly escape with a series of knee shots to the side of the head.

 

COLE

Screw the fancy stuff; just hit the guy in the head!

 

Heat gets time to rise to his feet, as Predator rises up, holding the side of his head. Colombian Heat charges at Predator, but Predator catches his strike attempt in a half-nelson, which he uses to spin Heat around, leading right into a hard dropkick to the back that sends Heat throat-first into the middle rope near Team Brock's corner! Predator runs, bounces off of the ropes on the other side, then leaps from almost-mid-ring and connects with a BRUTAL double stomp onto Heat's angled back, using the bounce of the ropes to springboard back into a backflip onto his feet! The crowd applauds in respect of the athleticism amongst the boos, as Predator immediately charges back forward with an awesome cannonball roll right into Heat's back!

 

COACH

Dark Predator is relentless!

 

Heat stays, hanging on by a thread on the ropes, as Predator makes the tag to Zane Maxwell. Zane wastes no time in coming into the ring and dropping a knee right onto the small of Heat's hurt back. Maxwell pulls Heat to his feet by the back of his trunks, lifts him for a side suplex, then drops to his knees for an inverted over-the-shoulder backbreaker! With Heat on his stomach once again, Zane drops down on top of Heat and applies a waistlock from behind. Heat screams out in pain, but he's way too close to the ropes, so Zane rolls over all the way once, to where they're both center-ring. Zane peaks to his feet, bent down to keep the hold on, and bridges over completely, almost like a Cattle Mutilation-style waistlock!

 

COLE

I've NEVER seen this before!

 

COACH

But, judging by the look on Heat's face, it's completely effective!

 

Heat screams out in pain, his back having to be completely hellish-feeling at this point. The crowd chants...

 

"LET'S GO HEAT!"

"LET'S GO HEAT!"

 

Heat reaches out for anything, but he's NOWHERE near a set of ropes! Heat's got his arms extended fully, as he's hoping for something to come his way...but nothing is! He has his right arm up, looking like he might tap out to the hold. You can hear scattered "NO!"'s from the crowd...it starts to come down...but Ultra Shago rushes into the ring and pulls Zane's leg to break the bridge and the hold!

 

COLE

Colombian Heat had a guardian angel on his side!

 

The referee gets easily distracted, as Shago and Zane get into a shouting match in Shago's corner. Behind the referee's back, Reject and Sly Sommers enter the ring...Reject lifts Heat up for a suplex, Sly sticks his knee out, and Heat gets dropped with a suplex on Sly's knee!

 

COLE

GEEZ!

 

Zane ends the argument and turns around, as Heat's down on the mat, prone and in pain. He immediately goes for a lateral press...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

The crowd cheers, as Zane cannot believe it! He gets up and applies a pendulum (reverse-direction Boston Crab with the attacker arching the opponent's upper body by the hands). Holding Heat off of the ground, Zane is able to walk over to Team Brock's corner, where Reject tags in. Reject slingshots himself in over the top rope and comes down with a single-footed stomp across the upper back of Heat. Zane exits the ring and Sly climbs to the apron, as Reject goes for a cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Reject is shocked, showing his disbelief on his face as he pulls Heat up and preps him for a powerbomb. He lifts Heat...but Heat rolls sidewards, grabs Reject's arm, and brings him over with an armdrag! Reject's quicker to roll to his feet than Heat, who's feeling the effects of his opponent's attack, as he rushes Heat and connects with a jumping heel kick. Reject gets up, as Heat tries sitting up...Reject sends him back down with a hard kick to the chest. Reject turns heat onto his stomach and stomps the back once, then comes off of the ropes and nails a nice flipping senton!

 

COACH

Their tactics at times might be dirty, but you've got to give it up to Team Brock for picking a body part and being relentless in their working over of Colombian Heat's back!

 

Reject leaps up to the second rope, making what some would call a rookie mistake in letting Heat rise to his feet. Reject leaps off of the ropes and goes for a sunset flip...but Heat moves and Reject lands hard on the mat! The crowd starts chanting again!

 

"HEAT!"

"HEAT!"

"HEAT!"

 

Heat starts inching towards his corner, as Reject rolls back to his holding his back from the landing. Reject realizes he's closer to Heat than he is his corner while Heat is OH SO CLOSE to making the tag, so he leaps over, grabs Heat's leg while lying on it to make Heat immobile, and extends his leg all the way back, allowing Sly Sommers to reach out and slap it for a tag...

 

COLE

The foot tag is illegal in certain states, but Kentucky's yet to omit it in its rulebooks!

 

Reject keeps ahold of the leg as the referee counts down...and Sly drops a sledgehammer shot onto the back of Heat before dragging him back to Team Brock's corner. Reject rolls out and TJ Burns climbs onto the batter's deck. Sly pushes his knee into Heat's spine while yanking back on the chin. The crowd cheers for Heat to escape, as he tries plying Sly's hands apart to break the chinlock. However, Sommers avoids that situation by leaping up in the air and crashing down with his rear end on Heat's back, then adjusting the hold to turn it into a camel clutch...

 

COACH

Sly's looking to humble him the old country way...

 

Sommers cranks down on the hold, as the crowd gets louder in their support of Heat. He slowly is able to gain some ground, somehow finding a way to start to stand up under Sly! Sly shakes his head in shock, as he slowly gets lifted up off of the ground. The momentum takes Heat and Sly backwards, and they crash back into a corner! Heat falls down forward, as Sly bounces out of the corner and gets really close to his corner. Heat tries crawling to his corner, but Sly tags out quickly to TJ Burns, who cuts Heat off. Dark Predator climbs up to the corner, as TJ pulls Heat up and sends him off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Heat's somehow able to springboard to the second rope...but TJ rushes forward and dropkicks Heat's feet out from under him, causing Heat to be laid out across the middle rope, hanging out both ways. TJ springboards to the second rope on the catty-corner side of the ring and hits an awesome Lionsault on the elevated Heat!

 

COLE

There's one of the reasons why he's the OAOAST X-Division Champion!

 

TJ tries going for the cover, but Heat's legs are tied up in the ropes. TJ argues with the referee briefly, then pulls Heat closer to the middle of the ring, but closer to the left side of the ring than the right. Burns then bounces off of the ropes on the right side, runs forward, bounces off the left side ropes with a handspring...and lands with a double stomp onto Heat's back! TJ then stands on Heat's back just to be a dick, as the crowd boos. TJ steps off and turns Heat over for another pin...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

TJ looks infuriated, as he turns Heat over onto his stomach, sits down camel-clutch style on his back, and applies an inverted abdominal stretch. Burns cranks back on the hold, as the crowd screams for Heat to escape. He tries powering up, but the more he does, the more Burns cranks back. But, little by little, Heat's able to work his way up to his knees, as TJ shakes his head in disbelief. The decibel level of the crowd rises, as Heat's up to one knee. TJ tries weighing himself as much as possible...but Heat makes it all the way up! Burns is hanging off of Colombian Heat's back like a monkey, as Heat slowly pulls TJ around his body, breaking the abdominal stretch hold...he has Burns almost completely in front of him, and brings him down with a side belly-to-belly suplex!

 

COACH

This is his opportunity! He either makes the tag or he's done!

 

The crowd's yelling for Heat to crawl over, as he's trying desperately, back pain withstanding! Burns sits up, the move effecting him not nearly as much as Heat's hurting. UItra Shago's hanging over the top rope, reaching as far as he can for that tag! Heat's almost there...and TJ Burns blocks it! He pulls Heat up quickly and dumps him on his head with a high-angle side suplex! Burns then pops up and slaps Shago in the face to a chorus of boos! Shago tries leaving his corner, as the referee tries stopping him! Burns uses this distraction to signal Sly Sommers into the ring! He tells Sly to go to the second rope, as Burns pulls Heat up. He positions Heat's head between his legs, then lifts him for the Irish Car Bomb! TJ throws him up, as Sly launches off of the second rope...and they hit an INCREDIBLE double-team Irish Car Bomb/Flying Lungblower, with Sly catching Heat from behind on the way down with both knees!

 

COLE

MY LORD! UNBELIEVABLE!

 

Sly rolls out of the ring as quick as possible and TJ yells for the referee to turn around, which he does...COVER!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

BUFFER

Colombian Heat has been eliminated!

 

***************

COLOMBIAN HEAT

(Team Snakes)

Team Entry #5

Eliminated By: TJ Burns

Eliminated: 4th (overall), 3rd (team)

Eliminations: None

****************

 

TJ shoves Heat out of the ring, where he rolls to the floor in a heap of pain, with referees surrounding him to check on his health.

 

COACH

The combination of Heat coming to the building with only Gibraltar on his mind and Team Brock having inpeccable strategy, as illegal as it was, just overwhelmed the young Latin star.

 

Ultra Shago leaps over the top rope and does a lucha roll into the ring, as his finger's been in the trigger for far too long! Shago charges at Burns, who's up and throws a clothesline just out of instinct. But, Shago ducks under the clothesline, leaps up on Burns' back in a crucifix, and spins around into a flying headscissors! Burns rolls into his feet and charges at Shago, who leaps over him with a leapfrog. Burns comes off of the ropes as Shago rolls backwards to go for an inverted monkey flip. Burns stalls and lifts Shago by the legs for a wheelbarrow...but Shago catches Burns in his trap and is able to fling out and armdrag TJ Burns!

 

COLE

The HI-GATE Brave Cup Champion looks to have our X Champion's number!

 

Burns rolls up to his feet again, as he's backed into a neutral corner. Shago charges at him, but TJ ducks under and tries backdropping Shago over the turnpost...but Shago's able to do a brief headstand on the top turnbuckle, then pop back down in front of TJ and bring him over with an armdrag! Burns rolls up again, looking slightly dazed. Shago charges at him but TJ's able to get him up on his shoulders horizontally, then cockily walks around the ring and laughs. He spins Shago around for what looks to be a rack bomb...and Shago spins himself around a little more to reverse with another armdrag!

 

COACH

TJ seems to not be able to get ANYTHING in on Shago!

 

Shago charges at TJ as soon as he rises again, and Burns goes for a hiptoss into the ropes...but Shago bounces off of the top rope upside down, lands on his feet in front of Burns while still gripped, and brings him over with another armdrag! Burns rolls out of the ring, as a familiar foe in Dark Predator leaps into the ring. Zane Maxwell climbs to the apron. Predator reaches out for a Greco-Roman knucklelock, Shago grabs one hand...and Predator rolls to the side, coming up with a re-gripped wristlock. Quicker than you can say it, Shago does a forward roll into a backwards cartwheel, then does a leap-step over Predator's arm to reverse the hold into a wristlock of his own! The crowd cheers!

 

COLE

So far, the crowd's been respectful but mostly into events more than moves...Shago's bringing them alive!

 

Predator responds to that quickly by running forward, leaping up the ropes, then doing a backflip off of the top rope into an armdrag to applause! Shago rises up and charges at Predator, but Predator leapfrogs and Shago comes off of the ropes, where he has to leap over a dropdown from Predator. Shago comes off of the ropes, as Predator's bent down for a backdrop...but Shago forward-rolls over the back, hooking the arms on the way over and bringing Predator over with a backslide!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

The crowd goes "OOOOOH!" after that move! Shago goes for La Magistral, but in the middle of the arm-twist, Predator rolls over and brings Shago down with a schoolboy...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Both men are up, as the crowd noise overall rises as the action speeds up. Predator throws an overhand chop, but Shago grabs the hand, twists around into a twisting knuckelock, grabs the other hand, rolls back with his feet up ino Predator's chest so he's horizontal but elevated, they roll back so that Predator's on his feet and Shago's in the air, and he uses the air to assist him in an excellent dropkick to the chest that sends Predator rolling out to the floor! He's quickly on his feet, as Shago runs towards the ropes, leaps up to the second rope with one step, then jumps on the top rope with both feet...and NAILS a 630 PLANCHA onto Predator!

 

CROWD

"HI-GATE!"

"HI-GATE!"

"HI-GATE!"

 

Zane Maxwell enters the ring, as does James Blonde. Blonde rushes forward and clotheslines Zane over the top rope and to the floor on the same side that Predator & Shago are on! All three men are up on the floor, as Blonde climbs to the top turnbuckle. He launches off....Tumbleweed plancha to the floor onto all three men! Reject, the next man in for Team Brock, surveys the situation, then climbs into the ring, bounces off of the ropes on the other side, charges forward, and nails an awesome no-touch tope suicida through the ropes and onto the barely-standing men outside of the ring! Sly Sommers enters the ring and shakes his finger at the crowd like he will not dive.

 

CROWD

BOOOOOO!

 

At that instant, Faqu enters the ring! Sly looks around, afraid of the angry Samoan, then leaps on the top rope, catty-corner from the bodies on the floor, with both feet at one leap, does a turnaround leap onto the top rope on their side, and nails a BEAUTIFUL senton atomico plancha (flip dive)! The crowd is GOING NUTS, as TJ Burns re-enters the ring and charges at Faqu...running right into a HARD slap to the face! Faqu delivers two forearms to the face, then whips TJ off to the ropes on the opposite side of the carnage. He comes off of the ropes, runs at Faqu, and gets sent SAILING over the top rope with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, as he lands on the other guys outside!

 

COLE

Faqu stands alone!

 

Faqu just looks around, surveying the madness...

 

CROWD

"FAQU!"

"FAQU!"

"FAQU!"

 

Faqu looks around at the crowd, nods, then comes off of the ropes on the other side, charges forward, and nails an awesome rolling tope over the top rope and onto everyone else in the match!

 

CROWD

"OH-EH-OHEST!"

"OH-EH-OHEST!"

"OH'EH-OHEST!"

 

COACH

This is unbelievable!

 

COLE

And we're SOMEHOW right back to Predator & Shago in the order whenever they decide to get back into the ring!

 

Right at that moment, on the other side of the arena floor, we cut to a shot of Otaku II & Brock Auustin STILL brawling, as they go over the guardrail from fighting in the crowd, and are back at ringside! Otaku NAILS Brock with a roundhouse kick to the ear! He stumbles back into the ring apron, as Otaku II leaps onto him and goes nuts with strikes! A security crew of at least twenty men rush out to seperate this!

 

COLE

THIS IS NUTS!

 

Half of the crew drag Otaku II down the rampway and to the locker room, as the other half are able to subdue Brock and get him to exit through the crowd, all to a chorus of boos from the crowd. As this is all happening, Ultra Shago and Dark Predator are somehow back in the ring. They meet in mid-ring and Predator chops Shago before sending him off to the ropes with an Irish whip. Shago comes off of the ropes and gets lifted into an electric chair. However, he spins around somehow and brings Predator over with a roll by grabbing the back of his head as Shago himself rolled through. Predator is standing near the ropes, as Shago charges at him and evades a clothesline by doing a 619 behind and AROUND Predator, flinging himself back into the ring and grabbing Predator for an armdrag!

 

COLE

GEEZ!

 

COACH

NEVER seen that one before!

 

Predator rolls to his feet as Shago charges at him, then leaps to the second rope behind Predator. Predator moves to avoid whatever Shago's going to do, so Shago backflips back to his feet on the mat, RIGHT into a Southern Lights Spear (spear into Northern lights Bridge)!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

TH-KICKOUT!

 

CROWD

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

 

Predator quickly pulls Shago up and hooks him in a butterfly position. Shago drops to one knee to avoid being lifted, so Predator lets go of one arm and forearms Shago hard in the back. He re-hooks Shago's arm and goes for a Tiger Driver...but Shago floats over the top of Predator and goes for a Code Red on the way down! But, Predator blocks it by grabbing the legs under his arms, then pushing down on the back of Shago's shins to fling him upward and back down on the other side with an inverted powerbomb! Predator leans forward and jackknifes the legs for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

We knew these two were insanely quick and insanely familiar, but it looks like they'll go through insanely anything to eliminate one another!

 

Predator rolls Shago backwards by the foot, back up to his feet, then rolls him with a double-knucklelock armdrag from the side, of sorts. Shago rolls up to his feet, right in time to be the victim of a charging pump front dropkick from Predator! He goes for the cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Shago quickly leaps up to the top rope like a cat and quickly leaps off for a Phoenix Splash...but Predator rolls away! Shago's able to do a brief foot-landing into a roll-away! Predator charges at Shago and has to duck under the leapfrog of Shago. Predator runs off of the ropes and ducks under a 1.5 rotation spinning wheel front kick! Predator runs the ropes on the other side, as Shago lands on his knees and pops right up to his feet! He goes forward and performs another leapfrog over Predator...but he tries to transition it RIGHT into a Code Red! But, Predator blocks it by pushing down on the back of the ankles and catapults Shago back up and over...Shago uses the momentum to turn the reversal into a hurricanrana! Shago reaches back on the landing to cradle the legs for the pin, but Predator takes advantage to turn THAT into a sunset cradle! But, Shago rolls right out of it and into a British folding press (folding opponent in half while leaning all of your body weight forward)...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

BUFFER

Dark Predator HAS BEEN ELLLLLLIMINATED!

 

The crowd cheers out of respect and flat-out excitement from the speed of that sequence of manuevers!

 

******************

DARK PREDATOR

(Team Brock)

Team Entry #3

Eliminated: 5th (overall), 3rd (team)

Eliminated By: Ultra Shago

Eliminations: None

 

***************

 

Zane Maxwell immediately charges into the ring and tries grabbing the much smaller Japanese star. But, Shago rolls away. Reject climbs up to the ring apron, as Shago tries to nail a spinning wheel kick. But, Zane catches him almost like a child. Maxwell tries tossing Shago away, but Shago twists in mid-air, keeps ahold of Zane's arm, and nails an armdrag! Zane rolls back up and Shago leaps to the second rope. Zane charges at Shago, as he backflips over Maxwell. Zane turns around and Shago leaps up for a hurricanrana. However, Zane catches Shago and goes for a powerbomb variation by tossing him upward and possibly flipping him to a face-first landing. But, Shago gains control of his body, grabs the arm again, and nails ANOTHER armdrag!

 

COLE

This could be the night that Ultra Shago straps himself onto the proverbial rocket and makes himself a star!

 

Maxwell rolls to his feet and Shago charges at him, ending up with Maxwell lifting up Shago in a fireman's carry position. He tries tossing Shago off of his shoulders in front of him, but Shago twists himself around into hitting an excellent victory roll headscissors, then leaps in front of the downed-with-legs-up Maxwell and bridges back into a bridging prawn hold...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

Maxwell uses his weight to roll back into a prawn pin of his own, reaching back and grabbing onto the middle rope..

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

The referee notices the cheating and kicks Zane's hand off of the rope. Maxwell gets up and yells at the referee. He doesn't notice Shago getting up. Maxwell says "screw it" and turns around...right into a jumping spinkick right to the jaw! Zane drops to his hands and knees almost-unconciously. Shago climbs up onto Zane's back, then flips up and does an INCREDIBLE toe-touch moonsault, crashing down on Maxwell! He turns Zane over for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Shago gets up and comes off of the ropes, as Zane gets up to his feet. Shago bounces off and runs at Zane...but gets lifted up quickly right onto Zane's shoulders and driven down with a Finlay Roll right near Team Brock's corner! Zane rolls out of the ring as Reject comes off of the top rope with a rolling senton! He goes for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Reject pulls Shago up and sends him off with an Irish whip. Shago runs off of the ropes and gets lifted into a Gorilla Press...but he wiggles out and right into a hurricanrana! Reject rolls to his feet and charges at Shago, who leapfrogs him. Reject then does the over-the-top Rockers exit of the ring. Sly Sommers tries to attack Shago from behind, but Shago somehow sees it coming and ducks the charge! Sly turns around, RIGHT into a devastating backflip by Shago where he kicks Sly in the jaw with the tips of his boots! Sly goes down, as Shago goes to the apron, then springboards up top and goes for a Shooting Star Press...but Sly rolls away! However, Shago lands on his feet! Shago goes for a hurricanrana on Sly, but Sly holds him up for a powerbomb! Sly walks over and TJ Burns tags himself in. They take advantage of the referee's five-count, as Sly nails a BRUTAL powerbomb onto both of his own knees! He holds the opponent down as TJ leaps to the top rope...Viva La Revolution as Shago's on Sly's knees! Sly exits the ring as TJ goes for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

BUFFER

Ultra Shago has been EEEEEELIMINATED!

 

******************

ULTRA SHAGO

(Team Snakes on a Plane)

Team Entry #1

Eliminated 6th (overall), 4th (Team)

Eliminations: Dark Predator

Eliminated By: TJ Burns

**********************

 

COACH

It seems like Ultra Shago's unexpected burst of amazing offense made Team Brock use an audible and take Shago out as soon as they could possibly grab onto him, no time to waste.

 

 

COLE

One thing's for certain: Team Brock's got a 4-to-2 advantage on Blonde & Faqu. Though the members of Team Snakes on a Plane are a regular team, they're still fighting twice as many men!

 

James Blonde comes into the ring, as TJ Burns looks over, then slyly tags out to Zane Maxwell. Maxwell shoots for Blonde's left leg...and gets BLASTED with a knee to the face from the right leg! Blonde pulls Maxwell to his feet and sends him off with an Irish whip. Maxwell comes off of the ropes and gets nailed with a leaping knee strike to the face! Blonde comes off of the ropes...and runs right into a knee to the back from Reject! Blonde stumbles forward, holding his back, as Zane comes to his feet, hooks Blonde, and brings him over with a butterfly suplex. He then pulls Blonde over to Team Brock's corner and tags in Reject. Reject slingshots himself over the top rope into a splash onto Blonde. He goes for the cover, but Blonde's already in the ropes before the count. So, Reject pulls Blonde further into the middle and goes for the cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Reject immediately comes to his feet, springboards to the second rope, and nails a turn-around legdrop. He goes for the cover again...

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Reject pulls Blonde up and sends him off with an Irish whip. Blonde bounces off of the ropes and runs right into a high dropkick. Reject tags out to Sly Sommers, who immediately comes off of the second rope with a front elbow drop into a cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Sly sits Blonde up and applies a Stump Puller. Sly yanks up on the leg, as the crowd gets behind Blonde. Blonde tries "reaching out" for crowd support with his arms, as they get louder and Sly gets angrier. Blonde is able to slowly start to lean back and push up with his free foot. Sly cranks back on the hold a little much, as Blonde pushes back...and Blonde reverses into an inverted rolling prawn hold...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Blonde gets pushed off and falls in his face. Both men get up and Blonde charges at Sly with a clothesline. But, Sly rolls under the clothesline while holding onto the arm and he spins Blonde around right into a spinning neckbreaker. Sly keeps ahold of Blonde while laying on his back and extends his foot, where TJ Burns slaps it and tags in. Sly rolls out of the ring as TJ springboards to the top rope and nails a big elbow drop! Cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

TJ gets up and signals for the end. He goes to apply the Boston Crab. He grabs the feet and tries turning it. Blonde stands his ground and blocks the turn of the hold, as the crowd chants his name...

 

"LET'S GO BLONDE!"

"LET'S GO BLONDE!"

 

James takes the energy from the fans and slowly powers himself up. TJ bends down and tries to keep Blonde down....and James applies a death grip with both hands behind Burns' neck! Burns stands up fully, as Blonde now looks like an over-grown baby behind held by his father. Blonde then goes nuts with elbow strikes to the side of the neck, as he holds on for dear life with the other hand. The pain from the elbows allows enough distraction for James to re-place his feet onto Blonde's stomach...and Blonde hits a monkey flip!

 

COLE

Nice, unique escape...but if James wants to tag out, he has to still get past TJ, who got tossed in the direction of his corner!

 

Blonde's worn out and slowly gets to his feet, as the crowd chants his name.

 

"BLONDE!"

"BLONDE!"

"BLONDE!"

 

TJ Burns gets to his feet right before James Blonde does. Blonde thinks for a brief second before TJ charges forward with a Yakuza kick, but TJ rolls under the kick and leaps over to the tag to Faqu! Faqu rushes into the ring and immediately chops TJ so hard that he rolls under the bottom rope and to the floor! Zane Maxwell comes into the ring and charges at Faqu, who nails a big snap powerslam. COVER!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Faqu hovers over Zane as he rises to his feet and tries going for a rear choke, but Zane elbows his way out. Maxwell goes for a wristlock...but gets pulled right up onto Faqu's shoulders and gets dropped with the Death Valley Driver! COVER!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

BUFFER

Zane Maxwell HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

 

*******************

ZANE MAXWELL

(Team Brock)

Team Entry #4

Eliminated: 3rd (Team), 7th (overall)

Eliminated by: Faqu

Eliminations: None

******************

 

COLE

The guy went from not losing for years and years in England to losing to Faqu in seconds! The man's a machine!

 

Maxwell rolls out of the ring, as Reject comes in. He jumps Faqu before he can even get up, then pulls him up and sends him off with an Irish whip. He comes off of the ropes and Reject nails a HIGH dropkick....but Faqu doesn't go down! Reject backs up, comes off of the ropes, and nails Faqu with a spinning wheel kick...and Faqu doesn't budge! Reject turns around and tries to run to the ropes again...but Faqu grabs the back of Reject's tights and pulls him right into a BRUTAL Release German Suplex! Faqu rushes up and immediately lifts Reject up on his shoulders...DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! COVER!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

BUFFER

Reject has been ELIMINATED!

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***********************

REJECT

(Team Brock)

Team Entry #5

Eliminated: 4th (Team), 8th (Overall)

Eliminations: None

Elimiinated By: Faqu

*************************

 

COACH

Faqu's single-handedly evened the odds!

 

Sly Sommers climbs up to the top rope. He flies off...and Faqu catches him on his shoulders! ANOTHER DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! COVER!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

****************

SLY SOMMERS

Team Entry #1

Eliminated By: Faqu

Eliminations: None

Eliminated: 5th (Team),

****************

 

COLE

Well, things aren't so even anymore!

 

COACH

We now have Blonde & Faqu against the X-Division Champion alone!

 

TJ Burns runs into the ring and throws a low dropkick while Faqu is on all fours. He gets up and quickly stomps Faqu down. Burns runs the ropes and drops a snap legdrop onto the back of Faqu's head. TJ pops up up and does it again, then runs the ropes again and drops a leaping legdrop! He turns Faqu and quickly goes for a cover...

 

ONE!

 

 

TW-KICKOUT!

 

Burns then goes to the second rope and goes for a flying legdrop, but Faqu rolls away and Burns lands hard! Burns gets up as Faqu's bent over by the ropes and charges over with a boot to the side of the head to try and send the large Samoan to the floor. But, Faqu holds on using the ropes. Burns tries pushing on Faqu's head with his foot. TJ Burns then comes off of the ropes on the other side, charges at Faqu...and Faqu avoids a kick to the head! Faqu then charges at TJ, but Burns drops down holding the top rope and Faqu takes a tumble to the floor! TJ Burns taunts the booing crowd, as James Blonde sneaks in the ring behind Burns, comes off of the ropes....NORTHERN LARIAT! Blonde goes for the cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

BUFFER

TJ Burns has been EEEEEELIMINATED! That means that all of Team Brock has been EEEEEELIMINATED!

 

*****************

TJ BURNS

Team Entry #2

Eliminations: Colombian Heat, Ultra Shago

Eliminated By: James Blonde

Eliminated: 6th (team), 10th (overall)

*****************

 

COLE

All of Team Brock's been exterminated, but according to the rules of the match, it now means that James Blonde must face Faqu to determine the sole winner of this match!

 

Faqu re-enters the ring, as a buzz fills the arena. Blonde sticks his hand out in mutual congratulations for clearing out all of Team Brock, and Faqu shakes it. One of the cameramen running around on the floor climbs up onto the apron so we can catch some of the audio of what the two combatants are saying...

 

BLONDE

Dude....are we going to fight?

 

FAQU

I guess we've got to!

 

BLONDE

No, we don't...we can storm back to the Board of Directors' office, protest this easily, and get our names down as co-winners. Want to do that?

 

FAQU

I guess.

 

Faqu and Blonde hug mid-ring, then Faqu starts heading towards the back...AND GETS ROLLED UP WITH A SCHOOLBOY!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

Well, sometimes you have to win by any means necessary, I guess!

 

Faqu comes back up to his feet and is incensed! Blonde smirks and playfully punches Faqu in the arm while explaining he was "just kidding". Faqu seems cool with this, as the two begin to shake hands...then Faqu BLASTS Blonde in the face with a left-handed spinning back-hand strike, sending Blonde to the mat!

 

COACH

It looks like these two are going to fight, and this crowd's loving it!

 

CROWD

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

 

Blonde bounces back up, holding the side of his face, and Faqu shoots him off to the ropes with an Irish whip! Blonde comes off of the ropes and gets lifted for a snap powerslam...but reverses it into a small package! COVER!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Both come up and Blonde forearms Faqu in the face. But, Faqu barely budges and sends Blonde down with a chop! Blonde bounces back up, holding his chest, and Faqu lifts him for a slam. But, Blonde slips out and jumps onto the second rope in the corner behind him. Faqu turns around and walks right into a tornado DDT! Blonde rolls right into the cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Blonde immediately goes to the ropes and springboards up top, going for a moonsault...but Faqu moves! Faqu gets up, as Blonde's clutching his chest on the mat, and pulls him up for a powerbomb jackknifed into a pin...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

Faqu tries to transition into an STF, but Blonde reaches the ropes before Faqu can even apply the facelock. Faqu gives a clean break, as Blonde comes to his feet. Blonde makes the mistake of going to lock up and gets lifted right into a Death Valley Driver! But, when Faqu tries driving Blonde down to the mat, Blonde somehow flips out and lands on his feet! He connects with a back elbow to the side of Faqu's neck, then comes off of the ropes and nails a huge lariat...that barely staggers the big man! Blonde comes off of the ropes again and connects with another big lariat, but Faqu still doesn't go down! So, Blonde runs the ropes behind Faqu and nails him with a huge Northern Lariat! Faqu's STILL UP!

 

COACH

What the hell's it going to take?!?!?!?

 

Blonde comes off of the ropes behind Faqu for another Northern Lariat...but runs a slap so LOUD that it legitimately echoes throughout the building! Blonde takes a bump, bounces off of the mat onto his feet..and goes down again! Blonde bounces back up to his feet and runs into a right-handed slap to the face! Then a left! Another right! Left! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT!

 

COLE

Faqu's swinging for the fences!

 

Faqu then goes for a swinging back-fist strike...but Blonde ducks under it and swoops up with Faqu on his shoulders! He struggles to hold him up....DEATH VALLEY DRIVER?!?!?!?

 

COACH

That's Faqu's finisher!

 

The crowd's going nuts over this, as Blonde goes for the cover, hooking the legs as far back as possible...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

*DING DING*

 

BUFFER

The WINNER OF THE TORNEO CIBERNETICA...JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDE!

 

************

FAQU

(Team Snakes on a Plane)

Eliminated: 5th (team), 11th (overall)

Eliminated by: James Blonde

Eliminations: Reject, Sly Sommers, Zane Maxwell

***************

 

**************

JAMES BLONDE

(Team Snakes on a Plane)

Eliminations: TJ Burns, Faqu

SOLE SURVIVOR

*************

 

The crowd's going nuts, as generic OAOAST executives walk down to the ring with a gigantic six-foot trophy to present to James Blonde, who's down on his knees and has his fists raised in the air! Faqu's sitting on the mat, holding his neck and looks depressed as all hell. Blonde comes to his feet to shake hands with all of the suits and is handed this huge trophy! Blonde holds it up high in the air as the crowd chants his name...but Faqu swipes it out of his hands to a chorus of boos!

 

COACH

What the hell is this?

 

We can't hear anything that's being said, but Faqu's yelling and pointing at Blonde's chest a whole lot. Faqu looks around, then looks at the trophy, then looks at Blonde, looks back at the trophy...then hands it to him to cheers from the audience! Blonde puts it down and the two partners hug! Faqu shakes Blonde's hand, then hands him the spotlight as he exits the ring!

 

Blonde climbs to the top rope and holds his trophy high in the air, as the crowd continues to chant his name!

 

COLE

Well, that's it for this week's edition of HeldDOWN~!, and what a wild ride it was! We'll leave you with this shot of a triumphant man who is deservingly celebrating one of the biggest victories of his career in this very ring! GOODNIGHT!

 

FADE TO BLACK

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CREDITS:

 

Written by:

 

Zack Malibu

Bruce Blank

Alfdogg

Ed Wood Caulfield

Phoenix Fury Legdrop

King Cucaracha

Masked Man of Mystery

Tony149

KingPK

 

The Man Behind the Curtain:

KingPK

 

© 2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All Rights Reserved.

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