KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2006 CRACKLE CRACKLE CRACKLE CRACKLE CRACKLE~! Since we're in a smaller arena, the fire marshall says no big pyro for tonight's show, so we have to settle for a ring hand setting off orange firecrackers in the ring to kick off the post-PPV edition of HeldDOWN~! COLE Coming off another great OAOAST pay-per-view, we welcome you to HeldDOWN from Philly! Although our scheduled main event did not take place, we still had a great night of action in Vancouver! We had Survivor Series rules tag matches, we had brutal regular tag matches..... COACH Including the crowning of NEW HI-YAH tag team champs, Cole. COLE We'll get to that later. And to cap it off, we had a late match of the year contender in Zack Malibu vs. Todd Cortez. Both Zack and the Wildcards are in the building tonight and Anglesault has booked one HELL of a main event with them involved. Tonight, The Hooligans will take on Landon Maddix, Todd Cortez and Bloodshed in a Philadelphia Street Fight! COACH Another battle in a war that just doesn't seem to end. COLE Also, the Six-Man Tag titles will be up for grabs as Alfdogg and Team Canada defends against Brock Ausstin and America's Team. That and more coming up....... "THE CHAMP IS HERE!!!" COLE Oh, great. The opening guitar riff of "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix starts playing. The crowd is confused, as no one in the OAOAST has this for entrance music. Smoke fills the entryway as the drums kick in. After a few more seconds of confusion, it becomes clear who has that theme music as the NEW HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, Stephen Joseph Popick and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, come out. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL and Popick are both wearing suits and ties. P.R. is wearing sunglasses, and is holding his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder, and carrying his spray-painted briefcase with his right hand. Popick is wearing his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist. Both men pose for the fans, showing off their belts, arrogant smirks on their faces. PRL motions for more people to come out, and a few seconds later, the entire Lightning Crew appears: Vitamin X, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Thomas Rodriguez. Afterwards, PRL looks at the crowd and laughs manically. Popick pantomines drawing a halo on top of PRL’s head, then laughs evilly. Puerto Rican then orders his Lightning Crew to follow him to the ring. MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, The Lightning Crew, AND the NEW HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK and "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! P.R. mugs for the camera as they walk to the ring. *Well, I stand up next to a mountain and I chop it down with the edge of my hand Well, I stand up next to a mountain chop it down with the edge of my hand Well, I pick up all the pieces and make an island might even raise just a little sand 'Cause I'm a voodoo child Lord knows I'm a voodoo child* COLE PRL and Stephen Joseph shocked us all last Monday night. What we thought would be a fair, clean, Tag Title match, turned into nothing more but a trap by The Lightning Crew! We were all fooled-- COACH Not me. COLE (ignoring Coach) We were all fooled when PRL and Stephen Joseph Popick SCREWED D*LUX out of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles. I thought PRL was a changed man. I thought PRL was going down a different path. But as we found out on Monday at November Reign, some things, some people, will NEVER change! COACH It was quite possibly the best plan ever executed in OAOAST history. NOBODY saw it coming! Here was everybody thinking that PRL was an angel now. That he wouldn’t hurt a fly. UH-UH! Once a jackass, ALWAYS a jackass! And I, for one, have got to applaud Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick for their plan last Monday. It was quite brilliant. And now The Lightning Crew is one big happy family again, and everything is right with the world! As "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" continues playing, Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez holds the ropes for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions to enter the ring. P.R. spins around; soaking in the crowd’s boos. Tha Puerto Rican puts his briefcase down next to him and lays his HI-YAH World Tag Team Title belt in front of him so that he can do the HBK muscle pose. No pyro this week, but The Lightning Crew give P.R. a round of applause. The crowd, on the other hand, is still booing loudly. COLE This is a scene we thought would never happen again just last Thursday. Every member of The Lightning Crew is in the ring. Last Thursday night, they were beating the hell out of each other! How do we go from what happened last week to what happened on Monday? COACH Well, I’m pretty sure that Tha Puerto Rican is about to tell us. Otherwise, why would he be out here? COLE To gloat about defeating D*LUX at November Reign? COACH Well, he’s probably going to do that too. But I imagined that he’s going to give us his explanation too. I can’t wait to hear it. How did they set this whole thing up? I’m intrigued. COLE You get intrigued watching Teletubbies, so that’s not such a compliment. COACH Hey!...I watch The Woogles! PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his head with his right hand and his briefcase with his left. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the belt and briefcase once again. Puerto Rican hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises the belt and the briefcase again, this time "smelling the electricity" a’la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth turnbuckle, receiving boos. "YOU’RE NOT ROCK!" "YOU’RE NOT ROCK!" "YOU’RE NOT ROCK!" "YOU’RE NOT ROCK!" Ignoring the chants, Popick scales the turnbuckle with one leg on top, and scans the crowd, holding his HI-YAH World Tag Team Title belt with his right hand. He taunts the crowd and then smirks as "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix continues playing. COLE These fans, who at one time, loved Tha Puerto Rican, are showering the man with boos. This man right here took all the trust, all the admiration, that the fans had for him; Tha Puerto Rican took all the sympathy that he got from World Without End and flushed it down the toilet! COACH Oh bitch, bitch, bitch! That’s all you ever do! Why don’t you just sit back and bask in the reflective glory of HI-YAH Tag Team Champions we can be proud of! No longer do some pretty boys hold the belts. Now, Japan has Tag Team Champions that represent what professional wrestling is all about! Popick and PRL get off the second turnbuckles. PRL calls for a microphone. The Lightning Crew and Popick all stand in the ring, making faces. Puerto Rican gets a microphone. He chats with Stephen Joseph and The LC for a little bit and then looks at the crowd, an evil smile on his face. COLE Look at PRL! Look at him! He doesn’t give a damn about hurting D*LUX, about betraying them! COACH And why not? He’s a Champion, they’re not. It’s simple! That’s the way it works in wrestling. COLE He doesn’t seem to have one ounce of remorse for his actions last Monday. He seems content with how things are! Popick unstraps his HI-YAH World Tag Team Title belt and slings it over his right shoulder. P.R.L. lies his belt across the mat in front of him again. He stands in the middle of the ring, microphone in his right hand and his briefcase to his left. Popick and The Lightning Crew converge all around the ring. "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix dies down. COACH Shhhh! Now be quiet! The Champ’s about to speak! COLE This should be good. I’ve waited four days for this. The crowd starts booing loudly. Louder than before. The camera cuts to several Anti-PRL signs in the crowd. The Lightning Crew and Popick laugh at the booing while PRL just looks at the fans with a cocky smirk on his face. He starts to speak, but the boos interrupt him. "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL chuckles when he hears this. COLE Listen to these fans. They despise Tha Puerto Rican! COACH And Tha Puerto Rican despises each and every one of them! P.R. waits for the crowd to quiet down, but finally he can’t wait no more. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Now if you pieces of trailer park trash would just SHUT UP for a second, maybe I can offer up my explanation! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The booing continues, but PRL decides to speak over them. THA PUERTO RICAN First off, before I say anything else, I’d like to say...thank you. Yes, that’s right. Thank you all. COLE What? PRL (CONT’D) Thank you one and all. Thank you....all of you idiots! You rubes! You suckers! You OAOAST fans, how much more STUPID, how LOATHSOME and DENSE, how amazingly GULLIBLE you all are! YOU ALL FELL FOR IT! EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WERE MADE FOOLS OF! COLE Yeah, we know. We know. THA PUERTO RICAN Last Monday at November Reign, MY Lightning Crew and I proved to the world that whoever it was that said ’you can’t fool all of the people all of the time’ was a DAMN FOOL! A damned fool is someone who always believes you, no matter what. A damned fool is someone who embraces you people and loves to entertain you. "D-LUX!" "D-LUX!" "D-LUX!" "D-LUX!" PRL And a damned fool, a damned fool is someone that is NOT in this ring! The Lightning Crew, Stephen Joseph Popick, and myself, are anything but fools! No, tonight, we all stand as the smartest people in this arena! The crowd boos hearing that. PRL There was not ONE PERSON that saw what we did coming. Everyone thought that The Lightning Crew was coming to an end. But oh no, that won’t happen. That’s NEVER going to happen. That’s not going to happen tonight; that’s not going to happen ANY NIGHT! What WILL happen is that The Corporate Champ and his main man, Popick, are going to lay the smackdown on each and every opponent that comes in our way as we reign supreme as the best damn HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions--no wait--the best damn Tag Team Champions in ANY organization EVER! And there’s only two things you people can do about that: nothing or LIKE IT! PRL sneers at the crowd. COACH You tell them, champ! Way to go! PRL Popick, it’s all yours. P.R. hands the microphone over to Popick. The crowd commences with the booing. Popick smiles. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Well I said it, I GUARANTEED that November Reign would be a night that you would never EVER forget, and I was right. You know, when this plan first went into action, we were worried that people would catch onto us. But then we realized that the average I.Q. of an OAOAST fan was about 2 or 3 and that’s just being nice. I am in awe of ourselves. I mean, everyone, EVERYONE, thought that PRL was an angel, that I, The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST, had changed my ways. But then we pulled the rug out from under ya and shocked the hell out of each and every one of you! You never saw it coming, and for that, I think I have to give myself a round of applause. Popick applauds himself. The Lightning Crew soon join him. COLE Coach, stop applauding! COACH What!? POPICK And now that our plan is a success, and we have taken the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles from the lost members of N*SYNC, things can only get better from here on out. Now, my client and I will see to it that you never forget the names of Stephen Joseph Popick and "The Corporate Champion", MY Corporate Champion, Tha Puerto Rican! We will run roughshod over the OAOAST and HI-YAH. Every wrestler we face with meet one of three ends: either they’re get hit with the Finality, or my man Puerto will hit them with the Corporate Nightmare OR the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, the IntenseZone Elbow! And little miss Jade Rodez, if you're tired of hanging out with those losers in D*LUX and want to move on up to the next level, there’s always a spot open for you in The Lightning Crew. We can always use one more member, and sweetie, if you do join us, and you feel awkward and worried that you’re an outsider, come to me, because Big Poppa Popick will make you feel much, MUCH better! Popick blows a kiss to the camera. COLE Ugh. Someone give me a bucket. PRL Popick, how does it feel to be apart of the best tag team in the world? POPICK It feels pretty damn good, Puerto. And that’s the truth, Ruth! PRL It sure does Popick. It sure does. Because who else can say that he is a Tag Team Champion, a millionaire, AND the Man With The Golden Contract? Only ME, and NO ONE ELSE, and That’s ALSO The Truth, Ruth! All right then, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, you wanna talk about a conspiracy theory? You wanna talk about how we pulled all this together, and the trials and tribulations and the sacrifices of everybody in this ring? Well Oliver Stone, eat your heart out! Let me break this whole thing down for you pieces of trash: you see me and Popick came up with this whole thing about 2 weeks after World Without End. That means, for those not good with math, that this whole damn thing has been in the making for TWO MONTHS. We all saw how people reacted to me after my World Title Match with "Reckless" Drek Stone and we decided to use that sympathy to our advantage. POPICK And just to let you know, it was PRL who first spoke of doing this. So, he deserves more credit than me. PUERTO RICAN Thank you, Popick! Anyway, we were going to do it sooner, but that little booger, Jamie O’ Hara, delayed things for a bit. But it’s okay, because I took care of him pretty quickly if I do say so myself. We wanted some Tag Team gold, so we had a choice between the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions and the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. We chose the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions because...well... POPICK Because we knew the Sooner Bruisers would see right through us. COACH I knew it! PRL Yeah, they wouldn’t fall for our plans. But D*LUX? Those gullible pretty boys? Heh, it was a piece of cake fooling them! They would never see it coming! POPICK And they didn’t! PRL Yup. D*LUX got nothing to work with upstairs, so it wasn’t too hard making them believe our lies. Let’s just go to the videotape ladies and gentlemen. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to four weeks ago on the November 2, 2006 OAOAST HeldDOWN~! when Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick met D*LUX and Jade Rodez backstage. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN We want a shot at your belts, the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles. SHAYNE We know what belts we have, thanks. POPICK Seriously, we would like to have a shot at your belts. How's next Thursday sound? JADE Whoa. Whoa. Whoa there. Hold on a second. What makes you two think that you deserve a shot at the titles? You're not a regular tag team. There are plenty of tag teams worthy enough of a shot. Why should we even consider you two singles competitors? PRL Because, Jade, we would be the greatest Tag Team Champions of all-time. Stephen Joseph Popick and Tha Puerto Rican are the most electrifying tag team in professional wrestling, and to prove it, we need to become World Tag Team Champions! Can't you find it in your heart to give us a shot? Tyler Bryant walks up to Tha Puerto Rican and stares him down suspiciously. TYLER How do we know you're not gonna cheat your way to the titles? We saw your match last Saturday on Syndicated. You pulled Jamie O' Hara's pants to beat him! PRL Hey, it was in the heat of the moment, what can I say? But I've changed. Really, I have. I'm not the same slimeball I used to be. No, this is a *new* PRL you are seeing in the OAOAST. I swear. It's the truth, Ruth! Trust me. POPICK Oh yeah. It's the truth. My boy's changed. He's practically an angel now. D*LUX are still not convinced. They talk it over with Jade; PRL and Popick try to listen in on the conversation. JADE All right. We've come to a decision. You guys are gonna have to prove that you DESERVE a shot at the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles. So next week, you're gonna fight in a tag team match. And if you guys can beat your opponents fair and square with no shenanigans whatsoever...then we'll see to it that you get a title shot. SHAYNE Yeah, but ONLY if you fight clean. Anything other than a clean win and no title shots for you. PR and Popick nod their heads. PRL Okay. Okay. Sounds cool with me. POPICK Yeah, me too. PRL Well then, see you next week! POPICK Ciao! PR and Popick leave. D*LUX and Jade Rodez watch them go by. The crowd cheers. The three of them look at each other, as if to say, "Do you trust them?" Cut back to present time. PRL Yeah, I’m an angel all right. HA! So, me and Popick had to ’prove’ ourselves to D*LUX, and we did just that, kicking some candy ass all over the ring. But we knew that wouldn’t be enough, so we decided to offer D*LUX some help when they needed it. Cut to the November 9, 2006 OAOAST HeldDOWN~! and the what happened after the match between D*LUX and Rico De Janeiro and Timothy Jacobs. Rico puts the puts to Shayne Brave, Jade not daring to get involved and Tyler unable to due to the clothesline to the back of the head he just got socked with. But suddenly the crowd come alive, all heads turning to the entrance way as help is on the way. Sprinting to the ring, THA PUERTO RICAN and STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK slide in and get Rico's attention. The Brazilian, running on adrenaline, doesn't think anything of the two on one odds and swings for Popick with a clothesline. But SJP ducks, causing Rico to sprawl right into the arms of Tha Puerto Rican and the LATIN SLAM!! COACH What the hell is this!? COLE It's The Puerto Rican and Popick with the save! And I'm as shocked as Jade Rodez seems to be! With the save made, PRL and Popick aren't hanging around. Popick exits the ring, making brief eye contact with Jade as she hovers on the ring steps and looks at her as if to say "do you trust us now?", while PRL stops to smell the electricity, one foot on Rico's back just to look more dominant. COACH This is ridiculous! PRL and Popick have no business out here! COLE What are you talking about Coach? Without PRL and Popick, D*LUX would have been on the end of even more of a beatdown. COACH So? What business is that to Tha Puerto Rican or to Popick? Since when have they been so concerned about D*LUX's physical well-being? I'm telling you, they're just trying to suck up to D*LUX to get a titleshot, they're not fooling me. COLE Why is it that when somebody does the right thing for a change, there has to be some sinister motive. PRL and Popick are just trying to prove to D*LUX that they've changed, that's all. PRL and Popick stroll off to the back as back in the ring, Jade checks on her charges. It seems they were saved just in time though, Shayne just shaking off the attack while Tyler stares up at the rampway, looking curiously at the exiting PRL. Cut back to present time. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah, Puerto Rican and Popick saved the day! Woooo! Yea! UGH! Now, HERE’S when things get REALLY interesting. Look what happened the next, NEXT week between The Lightning Crew. Cut to the November 16, 2006 OAOAST HeldDOWN~! and the backstage segment between Tha Puerto Rican and The Lightning Crew. CUBAN WALL P.R., we don’t WANT to accept your new attitude. Your new attitude SUCKS compared to your old one. We want your old attitude back. The one that led The Lightning Crew. The one that has won multiple titles and garnered the recognition of fans all over! THAT’S the P.R. we want! PRL Well Wall, that P.R. is in the past now. I’m a new P.R. now, and the new P.R. will become HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion on November 26th at November Reign. The PRL of old is gone now. Finish. Finito. Done FOREVER. And you’re just going to have to deal with it. PRL looks at Cuban Wall one more time and then leaves. The members of The Lightning Crew watch him leave, shocked. The crowd is cheering PRL for standing up to Cuban Wall. The camera zooms in on Cuban Wall who ISN’T happy. In fact, he is fuming right now. Wall ANGRILY looks at the door as we fade to black. Cut to what happened after the match between P.R./Popick and Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. PRL (NARRATING) Now, I knew that Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly were going to try something stupid, so I asked D*LUX to watch my back. Luckily, they did, so that when Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly attacked me, they came and helped me. But then watch when happens next. The Corporate Champ doesn’t rest for long as from the crowd appear Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua...AND THEY’RE ATTACKING THA PUERTO RICAN!!! COLE Hey! What...what the...what the hell? Am I seeing things!? No, Michael Cole, you are not. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall are really stomping on Tha Puerto Rican! Boricua then picks Tha Puerto Rican up and holds him while Cuban Wall punches his big ass hands into Tha Puerto Rican’s face! COLE Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua are beating up their leader! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall are pummeling the man who has guided their careers for almost four years! COACH ...okay. Maybe I’m wrong about PR and Popick turning on D*LUX. P.R.L. is dazed and confused. And Popick can’t do anything about it because he's in pain on the other side of the ring. D*LUX are still brawling with Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly so they can’t do anything about it either. Cuban Wall grabs the weakened Puerto Rican and lifts him up onto his right shoulder. He drops to his knees, giving PRL a backbreaker! The Wallbreaker! PRL (NARRATING) Yeah, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua beat me up. But you see, that was ALSO part of the plan. I took one for the team. I sacrificed myself to Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua so that D*LUX would be further convinced that The LC was history! Of course, I told Wall to take it easy on me, and he did. But I’m a team player. I made myself the victim of the big men in order to further the plan. COLE I can’t belive it. COACH What a courageous man Tha Puerto Rican is. What a brave, brave soul. Sacrificing himself to Cuban Wall. Cut back to present time. PRL So, I get my ass kicked by Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua, and then I ’challenge’ him to a match. Well, me and Wall discussed the match right before it was going to begin. It was Popick’s idea that Wall ’break’ my left arm before the match started. Once again, I was a team player. Cut to the November 23, 2006 OAOAST HeldDOWN~! and the beginning of the Cuban Wall/Puerto Rican match where Cuban Wall beats up Tha Puerto Rican backstage. Cut to the backstage area where Cuban Wall is BEATING Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Oh my God! That’s Cuban Wall! And he’s brutalizing PRL! COACH Looks like he didn’t want to wait for the bell to ring! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is dazed, confused, and holding his left arm. Blood is coming out of his mouth. PRL is still in his warm-up gear as he gets punched in the face repeatedly by the 6’7" Cuban Wall! The crowd is shocked at what they’re seeing. COLE Cuban Wall started the match early! He sneak attacked Tha Puerto Rican and is beating the crap out of him. COACH He’s gonna make PRL throw up his Thanksgiving dinner! CW punches PRL in the jaw, knocking him down. Wall taunts Puerto Rican, laughing evilly. PR crawls around the floor, so Wall kicks him in the gut HARD! The crowd groans with that one. CUBAN WALL Come on Corporate Champ. Get up! Cuban Wall kicks PRL in the gut again! PRL screams out in pain. PRL (NARRATING) You see that blood coming out of my mouth? Fake. I never really bled and Cuban Wall never really broke my arm. Once again, it was all part of the plan. We did have a match, but we made sure not to really hurt each other. Every move we did was talked about beforehand. VITAMIN X I can’t believe you all fell for it. PRL Yeah, we sucked you all in! Cut to the ending of the match between Cuban Wall and Tha Puerto Rican. *KA-POW~!* SWEET CHIN MUSIC! COLE Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music has been hit! Cuban...Wall...is...down! Indeed. The big man is down for the count on the mat. The crowd is going nuts. PRL holds his left arm as he surveys the damage he just caused. COLE Cuban Wall is out. Why isn’t he going for the cover? Tha Puerto Rican notices that Cuban Wall is lying down in the centre of the ring. So, PRL looks at the crowd...and kicks Cuban Wall’s right arm onto his chest. "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh. That’s why. The crowd starts going nuts again! PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Cuban Wall’s face. He then does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Cuban Wall, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. COLE It’s now time for the-- COACH most electrifying move in professional wrestling: The IntenseZone Elbow. I get it! PRL looks at the crowd, taunts Cuban Wall, and then drops the IntenseZone Elbow on Cuban Wall to a HUGE pop from the crowd! COLE The IntenseZone Elbow! The IntenseZone Elbow! The match is over! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican covers Cuban Wall! Mike Chioda counts. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.999999999999999999999999999999 VITAMIN X PULLS MIKE CHIODA OUT OF THE RING! COLE Oh come on now! This isn’t right! Mike Chioda yells at Vitamin X, so Vitamin X knocks him out with one punch! COACH The referee is knocked out! (Yes!) The crowd boos loudly. Vitamin X does a Shane-O-Mac Shuffle for no apparent reason. PRL, apparently annoyed by the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, grabs Vitamin X by his hair and pulls him onto the ring apron! The crowd approves! COLE Yeah! Knock him out P.R.! Knock him out! P.R. throws Vitamin X into the ring! VX gets up...and gets knocked down with a Rock punch. Vitamin X gets up...and gets knocked down again with a Rock punch. VX gets up AGAIN and, you guessed it, gets knocked down with a Rock punch! COLE And PRL is laying the smackdown on The X-Man! And one more punch for good measure! PRL Irish whips Vitamin X into the ropes--VX reverses--PRL reverses and knees Vitamin X in the gut. PRL hooks X up. LATIN SLAM! COLE Latin Slam on Vitamin X! COACH AAAHHH! X-Man! Are you okay? Mr. Boricua runs up to the ring apron. P.R. spots him, runs up to the top rope, and hits Mr. Boricua with a missile dropkick, knocking him off the ring apron and onto the floor! COLE PRL just took out Mr. Boricua! COACH How can one man do this to his buddies!? COLE I don’t think they’re buddies anymore! PRL fires the crowd up. He "smells the electricity" and raises his right arm in the air. AND WALKS RIGHT INTO A GOOZLE!!! COLE OH NO! COACH Oh yes! Cuban Wall says some words to Tha Puerto Rican, and then slaps him across the face! Wall lifts "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican way up into the air! CHOKESLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 COLE The Chokeslam! The Chokeslam! Down goes Tha Puerto Rican! Down goes Tha Puerto Rican! Cuban Wall wastes no time in bouncing off the ropes, jumping up, and coming down on Tha Puerto Rican with THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111 (CLIP) Thomas Rodriguez slides into the ring and makes the count. 1!2!3! *DING DING DING* (7:13) (CLIP) BUFFER Here is your winner...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall stands up and raises his hands in victory. The crowd boos loudly. Thomas Rodriguez high fives his Lightning Crew compatriot. Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat, coughing and holding his left arm in pain. Cut to the present again. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay, Cuban Wall beat me. And Thomas Rodriguez made the count. But that was ONLY to further the story. As to why all of a sudden does Thomas Rodriguez have authority again? Well, let’s just say some people in OAOAST Corporate owed Popick a favour and this was it. Thomas Rodriguez is now an OFFICIAL referee again, and that was quite possibly the most important part of the plan, because without that, then what happened on Monday could never have happened. POPICK And what happened on Monday, Puerto? PRL Quite possibly the greatest plan EVER coming to a climax. After I SUBJECTED myself to a Cuban Wall beatdown, I went to November Reign with Popick to take on D*LUX. And finally, the plan would be unraveled to the world. Thomas, great job on Monday! THOMAS RODRIGUEZ Thank you boss. PRL Now, let’s all take a look back at the closing moments of that match, and see how a great plan comes all together! Cut to ending of the P.R./Popick vs. D*LUX match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship last Monday at OAOAST November Reign 2006. 1... 2... 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999 CUBAN WALL PULLS JIMMY KORDERAS OUT OF THE RING! COLE WHAT!? COACH Hey! The Lightning Crew is here! COLE Now come on! They’re ruining what has been, up till now, a good match! Jimmy Korderas scolds Cuban Wall for pulling him out of the ring. So Cuban Wall grabs him and throws him into one of the ring steps HEAD first! Jimmy Korderas is knocked out! (CLIP) Tyler Bryant and Vitamin X get into a slugfest on the outside. Meanwhile, Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Popick look at each other...and charge after Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua respectively! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL throws punches left and right with Cuban Wall, and Popick holds his own against Mr. Boricua. And through all of this, Jade Rodez just stands there and watches. (CLIP!) COLE It looks like we’re going to see their finisher! Tyler Bryant lifts Tha Puerto Rican up and places him on his right knee. "Showtime" Shayne Brave exits the ring and climbs the top rope. Jade Rodez roots them on while the crowd cheers. COACH They’re doing it Mikey! They’re doing it! Tyler holds the weakened Puerto Rican in place. Shayne looks down at PRL, looks at Tyler, looks at the crowd, and looks at Jade. With Vitamin X knocked out, Stephen Joseph Popick on the outside holding his back, and Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua knocked out on the outside, Shayne decides that there’s no better time than now to jump off the top rope and... HIT THE TOP ROPE LEGDROP~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111 "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE As Seen On 60 Minutes! That’s their finisher! D*LUX has got it! They’re STILL the champions! COACH Only problem is the referee is knocked out! COLE Oh yeah. Right. "Showtime" Shayne Brave covers "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, hooking his right leg. Jimmy Korderas is still knocked out, so there’s no referee to be found. Jade Rodez and Tyler Bryant have no idea what to do now, but the crowd is still going wild. COLE D*LUX can win the match! But there’s no referee! Suddenly, from the entrance ramp comes Official Lightning Crew Referee, Thomas Rodriguez, the same man who screwed Tha Puerto Rican last Thursday on HeldDOWN~!. Thomas runs as fast as he has ever ran in his life and enters the ring. COLE Thomas Rodriguez!? What--what’s he doing out here? COACH He’s here to see to it that Tha Puerto Rican loses this match! D*LUX don’t seem to mind that Thomas is the ref, because Shayne Brave still has PRL’s right leg hook when Thomas Rodriguez makes the count. 1..... 2.... 2.... 2..... 2.... 2..... Thomas Rodriguez has yet to make the three count. COLE 3! 3! 3! What the hell? Why did he stop counting!? Shayne is wondering the same exact thing. Thomas Rodriguez gets on his knees and looks directly into the eyes of "Showtime" Shayne Brave. And flips him two middle fingers! COACH WHAT!? COLE WHAT!? CROWD WHAT!? Thomas Rodriguez laughs in the face of Shayne Brave. Tyler Bryant wants some answers, but before he can do anything, Cuban Wall grabs Tyler by his feet and drags him out of the ring! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall beat on Tyler Bryant! Thomas continues with his double bird salute, but his smile fades when Shayne gets up. COLE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!? Shayne stalks Thomas towards a neutral corner. Rodriguez begs for his life, sweating bullets and about to pee in his pants. Brave gets in Thomas’ face, wanting to know what made him think he could do what he just did and get away with it. Just then... *BAM!* PRL uses his left arm to give Shayne Brave a low-blow! COLE Low-blow from Tha Puerto Rican!? But...but...he’s using his cast as a weapon! COACH Hey. This is getting good! Popick nods approvingly as Shayne Brave stumbles around the ring holding his nutsack. PRL has a cocky smirk on his face. And those cheers that PRL used to hear are quickly becoming boos. COLE PRL and Thomas Rodriguez? Are they working together? Is this what I think this is? Tha Puerto Rican kicks Shayne Brave in the stomach. CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!?!?!?!? COLE Corporate Nightmare! But isn’t his arm broken!? COACH I think he lied about that part Michael. COLE I think he may have lied about everything! Shayne Brave is knocked out. Stephen Joseph Popick applauds Tha Puerto Rican. PRL laughs manically as Thomas Rodriguez watches all of this with an evil grin on his face. COLE Thomas Rodriguez didn’t count the pin! But last Thursday night, he did a fast count and made Tha Puerto Rican lose to Cuban Wall! COACH Michael, do you realize what this means? COLE No! Damn it! No! COACH Yes, Michael. This was all a set up! And I like it! COLE I thought he had a change of heart! I thought he was a different man! COACH I can’t belive it! What are we seeing? (CLIP ALERT!) 1! 2! 3! *DING DING DING* (24:10) COACH NEW CHAMPIONS! CROWD ........... "Know Your Role ’99" begins playing. The crowd is stunned. They cannot believe what they’ve just seen. Vitamin X jumps up and down shouting, "BOO-YAH~!" Jade Rodez is covering her face with her hands, heartbroken. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall applaud PRL, who is raising his hands in the air, an evil smile on his face. Popick and Thomas Rodriguez celebrate as poor Shayne Brave lies on the mat, a defeated man. BUFFER Here are your winners...and NEW HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK AND "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! (CLIP ALERT!) Thomas Rodriguez hands P.R./Popick the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts. P.R. kisses his belt. He raises the belt in the air, and the crowd showers him with nothing but boos. PRL taunts the crowd, and then moves his left arm, letting the crowd know that there was nothing wrong with it afterall. Cut to the present day. PRL And so you see, that’s how it all came together. That’s how seven BRILLIANT minds came together and pulled one over the OAOAST fans and D*LUX. That’s how Popick and I fooled the world and that’s how we became the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions! POPICK We SCREWED D*LUX! How great is that? PRL Not as great as screwing Jade Rodez, I bet. Lindsay looks at PRL. PRL What? I’m just joking. You know I love you. POPICK Can we see the SCREWING of D*LUX once again? Please? One more time. The AngleTron shows Thomas Rodriguez stopping his count and flipping Shayne Brave off one more time. THA PUERTO RICAN Oh man. Look at that. Look...at...that. Can we see that one more time? The AngleTron again shows Thomas Rodriguez stopping his count and flipping Shayne Brave off. POPICK Oh man. Oh man. That was great. Can we see that again? But this time, from a different angle? The AngleTron shows Thomas Rodriguez stopping his count and flipping Shayne Brave off from the opposite side of the ring. PRL I love it. That footage never gets old! Let’s see it one more time! COLE Will somebody cut off their mics? The AngleTron shows Thomas Rodriguez stopping his count and flipping Shayne Brave. PRL Okay. Now freeze on that spot. Okay? Now...now...now zoom in on Shayne Brave’s face. Can you do that? The AngleTron zooms in on Shayne Brave’s stunned look as Thomas Rodriguez gives him two middle fingers. PRL Look at him! Look at the miserable dope! VITAMIN X The look on his face? Absolutely priceless!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! THA PUERTO RICAN So you see people, THAT is how you get the job done! THAT is how you become a success in life: by doing whatever it takes. When I want something, there is no price I will not pay. No level I will not surpassed. No action I will not do. You want to know how low I will go? Well, the answer is...pretty damn low! While PRL says this, Thomas Rodriguez acts out what he did to Shayne Brave last Monday at November Reign. PUERTO RICAN Now me and Popick are Tag Team Champions, and D*LUX are LOSERS! And DAMN does it feel good to be me again and not have to act all phony for you people! And I’d like to thank The Lightning Crew for being good sports about all of this. You all thought this was the end, but oh no, we’re back and stronger than ever. The Lightning Crew is one big happy family, and there’s no one, ESPECIALLY not D*LUX, who will stop us! And you can quote me on that! Now, the screwing of D*LUX-- Suddenly, the crowd comes alive as both members of D*LUX run into the ring! COLE D*LUX are here! And they’re ready to fight! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Thomas Rodriguez exit the ring. The rest of The Lightning Crew charge after D*LUX, and get taken down one by one! One punch for Vitamin X! One punch for Stephen Joseph Popick! One punch for Cuban Wall! One punch for Mr. Boricua! One punch for Tha Puerto Rican! COLE D*LUX are getting some payback for last Monday! COACH Look at them! Attacking like low life thugs! "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face repeatedly. The punches dazed Tha Puerto Rican. Bryant then Irish whips PRL into the ropes. Tha Puerto Rican escapes! COLE PRL running away like the coward that he is! The crowd boos loudly as PRL, Popick, and the rest of The Lightning Crew leave the ring. P.R. grabs both his and Popick’s titles and hands Popick’s to him. D*LUX stand in the ring ready to fight, but Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t want to bother with them. COACH Good thing PRL got out just in time. D*LUX was about to cheat some more! COLE How so? COACH They were, I just know they were! D*LUX dare PR and Popick to come to the ring, but those two are walking back to the entrance. P.R. still manages to raise his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt high in the air for D*LUX to see. COLE D*LUX got screwed out of their titles last Monday, but they’re not out of the title picture just yet. They want those belts back, and they won’t stop until they get them and some payback! COACH Yeah, well they’re gonna keep dreaming. Ain’t no way Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick are going to lose the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles so soon! Those two will be Champions for a long time! COLE Not if D*LUX has any say about that! "First To Believe" by A1 starts playing. "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant play to the crowd who cheer them wildly! D*LUX look at the entrance. The Lightning Crew and Popick have already left. Still, D*LUX eye the entrance with revenge on their minds. COLE D*LUX are down, but not out! They will return, and this time, they’ll be ready for P.R./Popick! We’ll be right back with more HeldDOWN~! right after this! D*LUX stand in the ring, wearing leather jackets with no shirts and blue jeans with black workman boots, and speak to each other as the crowd cheers and "First To Believe" by A1 continues playing. They play to the crowd some more as we go to a commercial break. Commercials Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2006 "He who appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward So a wounded man shall say to his assailant if I live, I will kill you If I die, you are forgiven Such is the rule of honor" "Omerta" by Lamb Of God thunders through the dim arena as the stage is clouded in a cloud of firey orange smoke. And like a vision of hell, through the smoke emerges the monster known as JINGUS. The smoke continues to plume behind him as he strides down the aisle. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger. From The Depths Of HELL~! Weighing in at three hundred, fourty seven pounds... one half of HELL'S HITMEN, this is... JJJJJIIIIIIIINNGGUUUUUSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE JINGUS, former OAOAST World Tag Team Champion... COACH And Women's Champion. COLE Dark days... dark days. JINGUS slowly makes his way up the ring steps and into the ring (hey, the guy is pushing four hundred pounds), glaring out at the Philadelphia crowd and razzing out his tongue. COLE Anyway, JINGUS looking to add the 24/7 Title to his résumé tonight, which is a distinct possibility with no disqualifications in this match. Plus Bohemoth is returning tonight after a shoulder injury sustained back at Syndicated, so might not be back to 100% yet. COACH Well, I don't think ring rust'll be a big problem tonight. It's hard to forget how to swing a chair. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER And his opponent... from Greenville, South Carolina! He weighs in at two hundred and eighty four pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Through the sliding doors strolls Bohemoth with his typical nonchalance, 24/7 Title proudly over shoulder and the trusty orange shades stylishly over eyes. Bo doesn't seem all that worried by JINGUS as he makes a confident walk to the ring and jogs right up the steps. The monster JINGUS just watches on, happy to bide his time. Bohemoth takes a moment to climb the ropes and pose with the belt. And as ever in Philly, some fans see fit to flip Bo off, just because. More fool them. Coz he's cool n' stuff. COLE No question, this is the biggest test of Bohemoth's title reign, both physically and metaphorically. JINGUS has an abnormally high pain threshold and a reputation in these no rules environments. *DINGDINGDING!* JINGUS takes a big step forward as the bell sounds and commands the centre of the ring, daring Bohemoth to take him on. Not intimidated, the 24/7 Champion runs a hand across his chin with a wry smile. The belt is safely handed to ringside and Bo looks ready to go. COLE One thing's for sure, Bohemoth isn't going to back down from The Devilman. In an attempt to psyche his opponent out, JINGUS razzes out his tongue and gives him the slow throat cut. But, like anyone over the age of 12 should, Bo realises that Halloween is kids stuff adopted by the gay community and commercialised to attract your hard earned dollars and doesn't flinch what-so-ever. Realising he's not getting anywhere, JINGUS lands a right hand. Bo fires right back, retaliated by JINGUS, then by Bohemoth and before you know it it's BREAKIN' DOWN IN PHILADELPHIA! The two bigmen exchange right hands back and forth for a few second before coming to a collective stop, realising they're making no headway. So Bohemoth instead hits the ropes, charging back with a big shoulderblock that barely staggers JINGUS! COLE The irresistable force and the immovable object. COACH Did you just call Bo irresistable? Bohemoth tries his luck again with the shoulderblock but JINGUS again takes little more than a step back in response. COACH I think Bo needs a new tactic. Not one to back down, Bo hits the ropes for a third time. This time JINGUS isn't waiting around to be hit and swings out with a clothesline, but Bo ducks underneath. Hitting the opposite ropes, Bohemoth then lunges out with a Yakuza Kick. JINGUS sidesteps the boot and catches Bo from behind in a waistlock, but Bo doesn't fancy being on the recieving end of a German and breaks The Devilman's grip. With a quick 180, The Meterosexual Monster then whips his mighty arm around with a big time clothesline... ...and knocks JINGUS down! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Woah! Down goes the bigman! Cover is made by Bo... 1... 2... No! Predictably enough, JINGUS doesn't stay down for long. Bohemoth stays on him with some clubbing blows over the back but JINGUS continues to climb to his feet, forcing The Meterosexual Monster to trap him in a front facelock to try and keep him controlled. Planting his feet, JINGUS pushes forward regardless and forces Bohemoth back into the corner. A shoulder to the gut follows, keeping Bo trapped in the corner as JINGUS fires off a standing corner clothesline, the lack of run-up not making a bit of difference to the effects on Bohemoth. COLE This is where Bohemoth is in trouble, when JINGUS has him cornered and within close confines. JINGUS is a big guy, the less movement he's forced to make, the better. Bo tries to push JINGUS away but doesn't get very far, JINGUS coming right back at him with a knee that further crushes him against the buckles. Exposing the chest, JINGUS then rears back with his mighty arms... *SLAP!* ...and comes down across Bo's well developed trapezius muscles with a big Mongolian Chop! *SLAP!* And again! Bo is left slumped in a corner as JINGUS razzes out the tongue to the crowd again. Typically the Philly fans aren't shy about expressing their feelings, even if JINGUS is an evil psycho monster who'd probably tear their heads off in one swift motion. The Devilman just turns back to Bohemoth and drags him from the corner. A scoop and a slam plants Bohemoth in the middle of the ring, setting him up for a BIG elbow from JINGUS, which stays planted for the pin... 1... 2... No! "YOU FAT FUCK!" "YOU FAT FUCK!" "YOU FAT FUCK!" COLE Hostile crowd as ever. COACH Not that it'll bother JINGUS. Does he even understand English? COLE Good question. Bringing Bohemoth back up to his feet, JINGUS scoops The Meterosexual Monster up over his shoulder with scary ease and walks him around the ring. All the struggling and squirming from Bohemoth eventually allows him to slip free however and he puts all his force into shoving JINGUS forward and into the ropes. Back thunders JINGUS and he looks for a clothesline. Bohemoth ducks underneath and goes for the ropes himself. But JINGUS waits on him and with a quick duck of the head, he sweeps Bo over, coming down with his considerable body weight with a big Samoan Drop!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE When was the last time someone threw Bohemoth around with this ease? COACH How about never? Rather than follow up, JINGUS rolls on out to ringside and makes his way over to the crowd. Wisely the fans get out of dodge and one of them pays for it with the loss of a seat as JINGUS grabs a steel chair from the front row. Meanwhile, Bohemoth is pulling himself up on the ropes in the ring. He doesn't get further than his knees though... *CRAACK!* ...as JINGUS PITCHES the steel chair into the top of his head!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH And the crowd cheer. COLE Well, yeah. Someone getting hit in the head with a chair is someone getting hit in the head with a chair, they don't play favourites here Coach. Once retrieved, the chair goes back into the ring. And it's not alone as JINGUS reaches under the ring and retrieves a TABLE, which is enough to perk the Philly crowd up. JINGUS dumps the table in and slides back in under the bottom rope, although it's a far from graceful 'slide'. "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" The majority of the crowd are in Bohemoth's corner as JINGUS pulls him back up, landing another Mongolian Chop. Obviously JINGUS is smarter than you'd expect, aiming right at the nerves in the neck and dropping Bo to one knee with one swipe. JINGUS then pulls Bo in and sets him for a Powerbomb, but Bohemoth manages to lift up... up... and eventually backdrop the monster over! COLE That's some power right there! JINGUS struggles back up and Bohemoth quickly retrieves the steel chair. And The Devilman looks set for a reciept, as Bohemoth swings with the chair... *CRACK!* ...and THUNDERS it across JINGUS's head! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" That's enough to put JINGUS down, Bo with the lateral press... 1... 2... Not enough! Bohemoth climbs back to his feet, trying to bring JINGUS with him. Not happening. JINGUS lands a headbutt to the stomach and Bo ends up falling into the turnbuckles to regain his breath. Irish whip then sends Bohemoth corner to corner, JINGUS chundering in after with a big Avalanche! COACH Man, Bo just disappeared for about a second. COLE JINGUS is a load, that's for sure. 360 plus pounds crushing Bohemoth against the buckles right there. Collapsed in the corner, The Meterosexual Monster is left behind for the moment as JINGUS drags the table into the centre of the ring and begins setting it up. Out comes the tongue and the slow throat cut looks ominous for Bohemoth as JINGUS approaches, bringing him out of the corner. Another Mongolian Chop leaves Bo staggered in front of the table, a second Mongolian leaving him virtually immobilised as JINGUS switches behind. The German Suplex attempt is blocked by The Meterosexual Monster, but JINGUS beats the 24/7 Champion and instead steps around the front, locking on the CLAW~! COLE Uh-oh... And from the Claw, with JINGUS, comes the Claw Slam... *CRAASH!* ...THROUGH THE TABLE!!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE We might have a new Champion right here! JINGUS plants his hand on Bo's chest and that's rightfully ruled as a pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! COLE NO! Bohemoth kicks out! Amazing! As Bo struggles for breath in the ring, out of the ring goes JINGUS and back under the ring skirt to look for more weapons. After a few seconds rummaging, JINGUS eventually returns and comes out wielding a leather strap. A leather strap wrapped in BARBED WIRE! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh man, I just got some flashbacks from that. COACH No question. COLE Who'll ever forget the TLC 30 Minute Iron Man Barbed Wire Strap Match with Dan Black? COACH With a name like that, no-one. Little does Bo know what's coming as the bigman closes back in on him again. JINGUS winds up the strap and as Bohemoth comes out of the corner, JINGUS charges him, looking to clothesline him with the barbed wire strap... ...but Bo DUCKS! The Devilman puts on the brakes and turns around with the strap still wound and wielded, but Bo ducks his head early and executes a double leg, LIFTING the 367 pound JINGUS off the canvas and driving him down with a Front Spinebuster!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Where the hell did THAT come from!? The strap goes flying, as Bohemoth makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE And JINGUS kicks out! I'm not sure he's taken too many moves like that in his career, but he still had the reserve to get out before the three! COACH He might not have much reserve for long though. Fueled by the kickout and realising he has to stay on The Devilman while he can, Bohemoth scrambles over and eyes up the barbed wire strap! And hey, No DQs, so why not? Grabbing the leather strap, Bohemoth lines JINGUS up as he crawls onto all fours... *THWACK!* "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND WHIPS HIM ACROSS THE BACK! *THWACK!* "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND AGAIN, the barbed wire getting tangled up in JINGUS's ring gear which prevents a third whipping... *THWACK!* "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...for a few seconds anyway. COLE Bohemoth really letting JINGUS have it with that strap! COACH He might be the coolest man in the OAOAST this side of me, but cross him and this is what you get! Bohemoth ends it at three and drops the strap down on the canvas in a heap, giving JINGUS the THUMBS DOWN~! as he limps back up. That's usually the signal for the Erotic Awakening Of B, but JINGUS as I keep reminding you is three hundred, sixty seven pounds so that's not happening. JINGUS stumbles around and walks into Bohemoth, who goes with what worked already, hoisting JINGUS up with the Front Spinebuster... ...AND PLANTING HIM ON THE BARBS AND THE STRAP AND THE BROKEN SHARDS OF TABLE!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Right on the barbed wire! That's got to be all! Bohemoth rolls and hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And Bohemoth survives the monster! "Liberate" hits and Bohemoth doesn't waste time in asking for his belt. Hey, he earnt it. A quick raise of the belt and Bohemoth exits the ring, nursing his neck a little as he goes. BUFFER Your winner of this contest and STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! COLE He didn't come out without a fight and without feeling the effects, but in the end it's another impressive victory for The Meterosexual Monster. And it's got to be just a matter of time before Bohemoth finds himself in line for a shot at our World Champion, surely. COACH Well, I don't know about that... COLE He beat Alfdogg. Now, a victory over JINGUS. COACH Yeah, but... let's not get ahead of ourselves. COLE We'll see. Moving on, broadcast Hall of Famer "Mean" Gene Okerlund is standing by with a special interview. Gene, take it away. Cut to Mean Gene standing at a fairly basic interview stage. GENE More great action still to come, but in just a few moments I will be conducting an interview with the Enterprise about the big 6-man signed for HeldDOWN~! next week, featuring Christian Wright and the Beverly Hills Blonds versus Dance Dance Dragon and Los Diablos de Fuego. The Enterprise, of course, coming off a successful first outing at November Reign, defeating Team Rescue Nueve UnoUno in one of the many tag elimination matches held that night. And if you missed any part of November Reign, be sure to catch the encore presentation throughout the month of December on pay-per-view. Special free gift for those of you who order the replay. Now let's bring them in. Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, the Beverly Hills Blonds and Mackenzie DeCenzo...The Enterprise. THEODORE (Off-Screen) The Enterprise walk onto the set jubilant as can be, dressed to the nines, while the Blonds are dressed to the '80s. THEODORE Get a good look at it, Okerlund. This here is the reason why I'm the billionaire that I am. I know a good investment when I see it. As you said, a successful first outing for the Enterprise at November Reign. Being the modest man that I am, I'll give credit where credit's do, Los Diablos de Fuego and Rescue 911. You put up a heckuva fight, but like I've said so many times, you don't mess with the rich and famous. WRIGHT Truer words have never been spoken. As the Financial Analyst for the Enterprise, I'm pleased to report profits soared following our victory at November Reign, Theodore. Crunching numbers won't be the only thing occupying my time next week, so will a match that pits myself and fellow Enterprise associates the Beverly Hills Blonds against Los Diablos de Fuego and an old acquaintance of mine, Dance Dance Dragon. Two gluttons for sodomy and punishment together as one. MACKENZIE (leaning in) I'm sure immigration would love to get their hands on that combination. SIMON I know it must be embarrassing for Cuckoo and Coco Puff to return to their village as losers, but look on the bright side, fellas, at least you can hang your heads in shame knowing you lost to the best. NED You better believe it, son. Blonds high-five. GENE Either you gentlemen have short memories or are in denial. SIMON Denial about what? GENE About your elimination at the hands of Los Diablos de Fuego at November Reign. NED Elimination my ass. SIMON His ass. NED I'm not the least bit surprise you're sticking up... GENE I'm not sticking up for anybody. I'm just refreshing your memory. NED Maybe I need to refresh yours, liver spot, because Los Diablos de Fuego used a bunch of tricky to oust us from the match. It took an illegal -- and I mean that in every sense of the word -- switch for them to eliminate me. I had them right where I wanted them. I tried to wrestle by the rules, but like the illegals that they are, they took a shortcut. A shortcut! THEODORE The Enterprise wins as a team and loses as a team, little man. And believe me, we do more winning than losing. "All for one and one for all." That's our motto, baby. So get with the program. The Enterprise exit quietly. GENE Back with more after this. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2006 This New Year's Day, there won't be a GM in control... COLE AXEL SLAM! AXEL SLAM! ...no authority figure in control... IT'S ANGLESAULT~?!?!??! ANGLESAULT IS HERE ON HELDDOWN~! ...no recently divorced pseudo celebrities in control... **THIS ANNECDOTE REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS** ...because, this New Year... ANGLESAULT YOU'RE gonna be in control! It's the first ever, completely interactive event in OAOAST history, where YOU decide the challengers, the challenges and the stipulations! ANGLESAULT All with the power of your interweb machines! *NEW YEAR'S SPECTACULAR: MAINFRAME MONDAY!* January 1st, 2007; Daytona Beach, Florida COLE That's right, January 1st, the OAOAST goes interactive! COACH Hey, you know, I still haven't got my laptop. They'd better hurry up, Christmas is right around the corner after all. COLE Work in progress. COACH Aw dip! I can't wait! COLE They're installing a program that'll block porn access. COACH ...crap. What good is a laptop without porn? We may never know the answer to that question, as we cut backstage to see Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly chilling out in the back. Heat and Fly are in mid-conversation, although we can't really hear what they're saying, which isn't important as their conversation is brought to a screeching halt. Walking into shot, the now former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions D*LUX and their manageress Jade Rodez stop beside the duo, who quickly stand to attention as they as wrestlers tend to when confronted with other wrestlers. Dangerous business. Usually. JADE Hi gu... HEAT Well, if it ain't da 'chumps'! Wha's poppin'? Already sombre, D*LUX sigh and shake their heads. JADE We wanted to... thank you. For coming out and helping us out with The Lightning Crew. We really appreciate it. HEAT Yo, first up, we di'nt do nothin' to help you, dig? When we came out an' cleaned that hizzay on those punk bitches, it was for us. An' us alone. Ya'll ain't worthy of me an' Fly's aid, ya heard. We ain't got no sympathy for you. Don't say we didn't warn ya. PRL can't be trusted. No way, no how. Weren't so long ago youz guys were beatin' us two down, helpin' out your homeboy PRL, remember dat? Coz we do. JADE We're sorry. HEAT Save it hon'. TYLER Easy man. FLY Or what? HEAT Yo, Fly, chill dawg. We ain't got nothin' more ta say, so we suggest ya'll beat it before ya'll get beat. As tempers risk flaring, Jade decides to lead D*LUX off before anything breaks down any further. Heat and Fly watch them walk off, Heat shaking his head as he slaps Fly on the shoulder and drops back into their conversation. Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits and the crowd pops as Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin walk out, followed by Brock Ausstin. COLE Six-man tag titles on the line next! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team championship! Introducing first, the challengers! At a total combined weight of 790 pounds...introducing first, from Minneapolis, Minnesota...CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! From Seattle, Washington...QUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUENTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNJAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! And from Victoria, Minnesota...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COLE The USA contingency unable to pick up the win at November Reign this past Sunday, as Alfdogg came out of that match the sole survivor! COACH And you got to think Alf's got a lot of leverage now to get a rematch against Drek Stone! Magnum Opus hits, and the cheers turn to boos. BUFFER Their opponents...at a total combined weight of 745 pounds, they are the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team champions...first, from Thunder Bay, Ontario, "AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFELIXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! From Saskatoon, Saskatchewan...KENNNNN PAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! And their partner, the OAOAST Canadian champion...ALFDOGG!!!!! The Canadians slide into the ring, as Alf poses on the buckle with both of his belts, drawing boos. Strutter grabs the mic from Buffer. STRUTTER You know what time it is! Get on your feet! Wipe that cheesesteak off your face and show some respect! The crowd boos, as the Canadians get their positions in the ring, and O Canada plays. When the anthem finishes, the champs hand their belts to the referee, and he calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* COLE And it'll be Felix Strutter and Quentin Benjamin starting us off! They circle the ring, then tie up. Strutter backs Benjamin into the ropes, then breaks, but delivers a forearm blow to the midsection. COLE No clean break from Strutter, and now an Irish whip! Benjamin reverses the Irish whip, and leapfrogs Strutter...and Moss also steps in and leapfrogs him, then he and Benjamin deliver a double back elbow! COACH Where was the tag, ref? Pantera and Alf both jump into the ring, as does Brock, and it's a six-way brawl! COLE And we've got chaos early on in this one! Alf drags Moss into a corner, and hammers away, as Brock and Pantera do battle in another corner. Benjamin sets up Strutter for an Irish whip, and the champs are all set into one another! Alf rolls to the outside, and Pantera follows, courtesy of a Brock clothesline! Strutter follows them...right on top of them, in fact, courtesy of a Brock Ausstin PRESS SLAM~! COLE And Brock launching Felix Strutter to the floor! Benjamin goes to the ropes, and hits a HANDS-FREE SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~!!! COACH DAY-UM~! COLE Hangtime by Quentin Benjamin! A brief "HOLY SHIT" chant starts in the crowd, as Benjamin slides back into the ring slowly. The champs gather themselves on the floor, and Strutter slides back in, as Moss tags in. COLE Tag made, and now it's Charlie Moss in there! They go in for a tieup, and Strutter goes quickly to the eyes. He backs Moss into a corner, and delivers feet to the midsection, then whips him across the ring, but Moss evades a charge! COLE Nobody home! However, Moss runs right into a clothesline from the apron from Pantera! COACH WHOA, BIG clothesline! Pantera flexes on the apron, as the crowd boos, then tags in. COLE And Ken Pantera gets the tag! Pantera scoops up Moss with ease, and delivers a shoulderbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pantera drags Moss over to the corner, and tags in Alf. Alf delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH Big-time chops from Alf! The referee backs him out of the corner, which allows Pantera to wrap the tag rope around Moss's throat and choke away! COLE And double-teaming going on in the corner as Alf has the ref distracted! COACH Smart strategy, that's why their the champs! Alf brings Moss out of the corner, and delivers a snap suplex! He follows it up with a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf tags in Pantera once again, who whips Moss into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Moss delivers a kick, then rolls over and tags Benjamin! COACH And Moss quick to get out, smart move! However, Pantera catches Benjamin as he comes in with a clothesline! COACH And an even better move by Pantera, great ring prescence! He then sends him into the ropes, but Benjamin slides under the legs, then pops up and delivers a dropkick! He goes for a quick cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin then grabs Pantera in a side headlock. Pantera pushes Benjamin off, right into the knee of Strutter! COLE And Strutter with the cheap shot from the outside! Pantera follows up with a trapped-arm belly-to-belly suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pantera tags in Strutter, and the teammates whip Benjamin into the ropes, and deliver a double back elbow! Strutter covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter picks up Benjamin and grabs a front facelock, holding his arm in the air as the crowd boos, and delivers a DDT! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter tags Alf back in, and Alf whips Benjamin across the ring. Alf charges, but Benjamin hops over and comes down with a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Alf pops up and delivers a quick thrust to the throat, and is admonished by the referee. Alf tags in Pantera, who lifts Benjamin in a PRESS SLAM~!, and does a few repititions before slamming him to the mat. He then flexes for the crowd, drawing more boos. He drops down and covers... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE And Quentin Benjamin still hanging in there! Pantera whips Benjamin into the ropes, and catches him in an abdominal stretch! COLE Abdominal stretch applied! Will this be enough to retain the titles? Alf grabs onto Pantera's hand from the apron and pulls on it, to the blind side of the referee! COLE And a little assistance from the outside from Alf! When the referee comes around, Alf lets go, and Benjamin is able to counter to a hiptoss! In mid-toss, however, Strutter tags himself in, and catches Benjamin with a knee right bewteen the shoulderblades! He then whips him across the ring, but Benjamin ducks a clothesline and catches him with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! Strutter stomps away on Benjamin, then picks him up, and delivers a Northern Lights suplex! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Strutter then climbs to the top rope. COACH Here it comes, Cole, he's going to finish it off now! Strutter gets his balance, then comes off for the SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP~!!!111... ...but Benjamin rolls out of the way! COLE And now Quentin must make a tag! Both men inch to their corner, and Alf gets the tag, but SO DOES BROCK! COLE AND HE DOES, and it's Alf against Brock! Brock hammers away at Alf in a corner, then whips him across the ring, catching him with a BIG backdrop! COLE And Alf elevated HIGH into the air! Brock lets out a big yell, and the crowd cheers him on! BIG clothesline for Alf! Brock tags in Moss, who goes to the ropes, and Brock lifts him and drops him on top of Alf! 1... 2... Strutter comes in for an elbow, but Moss rolls out of the way and Alf takes it instead! COLE And Strutter elbows his own partner inadvertantly! Moss grabs him and backs him into a corner, and Brock does the same with Pantera! They whip the Canadians to the center, and make an Alf sandwich! Benjamin then sizes up Alf, as Moss steps into the ring. COACH Oh, no! Moss backs into the ropes, and he and Benjamin execute the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!!! COLE And the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! from Moss and Benjamin! Benjamin covers, but there's no ref, as Rick Heyross is arguing with him from the apron! COLE And a bad break for Benjamin here, the referee being distracted by Rick Heyross! COACH He has a right to complain, Cole! There's flagrant double-teaming going on! Benjamin gets up to get the ref's attention, and Strutter slides in and rolls him up in a reverse sunset flip, but there's too much momentum, and Benjamin reverses it, but STILL no ref! COLE And ANOTHER cover and no referee! Pantera comes in and delivers a clothesline to Benjamin, reversing the fall once again! STILL no ref! After Moss delivers a Cactus clothesline to Pantera, Brock returns, and lifts Strutter in the air! COLE Could be F-STUNNER-5 time! Brock executes the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111...but as the referee turns around, he gets leveled with the feet of Strutter during the spin! COACH And now there's REALLY no referee! Brock covers, as Heyross waves to the back...drawing out the Mammoth! COLE Oh my GOD... COACH Insurance, baby! Brock counts his own fall, then spots him! The crowd senses what's going on, and gets to its feet! COLE And they've locked eyes, Coach! The Mammoth took Brock out of the elimination match at November Reign, and you just know he'd like to get his revenge right now! Brock waves the Mammoth into the ring. Mammoth steps over the top rope, and Brock starts delivering right hands! However, all it takes is one big roundhouse from Black, and Brock is sent stumbling across the ring! COACH But it looks like it'll be more of the same, Cole! Black hammers Brock in the corner, as Alf slides out and picks apart the announce table. COLE Oh, no, not again! Meanwhile, Pantera is clocked with a chair by Moss! Alf finishes the table, then superkicks the chair into Moss's face! Black tosses Brock out onto the floor, goozles him, and for the second time in a row, lifts him and delivers a CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~!!! COACH YEAH! COLE And once again, Brock Ausstin sent through our table here at ringside! The Mammoth does his Mammoth poses, drawing boos, then tosses Brock into the ring. He walks to the back, as Alf gives him the high sign. COLE Alf and the Mammoth have taken Brock out of the match once again here! Alf then goes to the top rope, as the referee is just starting to gather his senses. COACH And Alf will score the pin on Brock, once again! Just like at World Without End! COLE Oh, please, Coach! Once again, it'll be the Mammoth who did all the work! Alf flies off with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 COACH And he hit it! Alf covers, as the referee SLOWLY crawls over... 1... 2... NO!!! Brock gets the shoulder up! COACH WHAT? COLE Brock got the shoulder up! COACH Can a brotha get a new referee? COLE The referee was still VERY groggy, and that allowed Brock JUST enough time to get the shoulder out! Alf makes his way over to the groggy referee, and pushes him out of the ring with his foot. COLE And what's the deal with that? Alf then gets a smirk on his face, and slides to the outside, grabbing the ring bell! COLE And this is how Alf won the match at November Reign! He pinned Thunderkid to become the sole survivor, after knocking him out with that bell! Alf rolls into the ring, and measures Brock. The crowd suddenly starts to cheer... COACH Speaking of Thunderkid! TK runs to ringside, then hops on the apron, and reaches over the ropes, snatching the bell right from Alf's hands! Alf turns around, and immediately becomes incensed. He reaches to the outside for the bell...and promptly takes it across the head! COACH WHAT IS THIS??? COLE This is payback, that's what this is! Alf staggers backwards, right into Moss and Benjamin, who move Brock to the outside and catch Alf in a DOUBLE FLATLINER~! Benjamin then goes to the top rope, as Moss lifts Alf on his shoulders! COACH Oh, no! COLE HERE IT COMES!!! Benjamin gets his balance, and executes the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111 Benjamin covers, as a second referee slides in... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE THEY GOT IT!!! *DING DING DING* The crowd EXPLODES as Stars and Stripes Forever plays. BUFFER The winners of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team champions...the team of CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN, and BROCK AUSSTIN!!!!! Benjamin and Moss cradle the belts, and each raises one in the air, climbing on the buckles as the crowd goes wild! COLE They've done it! Right here, in the home of the Liberty Bell, America's Team, along with Brock Ausstin, are the NEW Six-man tag team champions! COACH But they didn't do it alone! They had the help of THAT GUY, right there, Thunderkid! He's the reason for this loss, Cole! TK looks into the ring, locking eyes with the groggy and angry Alf, and smirking. TK then walks to the back, as Pantera and Strutter come to. Alf waves them to the back, and they follow. The celebration in the ring continues, as Moss and Benjamin climb into the crowd, and begin to celebrate with the Philly fans. Brock just comes to, grabs his belt off the ground, and raises it high in the air as the crowd continues to cheer. COLE And the fans here loving it, we have NEW Six-man tag champs, and they represent the red, white, and blue! We've got more coming at you on the other side of this break. Stay with us. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2006 COLE This past Sunday night at November Reign, in a hotly contested bout for the OAOAST tag team championship, the Sooner Bruisers narrowly defeated the Heavenly Rockers to retain their titles, managing to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat after the Heavenly Rockers all but had the match won. But their win didn't come without some controversy, as it took a beltshot off the top rope and down onto Logan Mann for the Sooner Bruisers to pick up the 1-2-3. COACH I love how you conveniently left out the part where the Heavenly Rockers ambushed the Sooner Bruisers at the start of the match, busting Big Frank open and later Uber with the tag belts. They were the first ones to use them as weapons. The Sooner Bruisers kept it a wrestling match, while the Heavenly Rockers tried to turn it into a street fight because they knew their wrestling skills didn't compare to the Man of Tomorrow and the Psycho Gremlin. COLE Get your facts straight. It was Frank who nailed Uber with the tag title. They went for the knockout punch and it nearly backfired. But the bottom line is, the Sooner Bruisers are still... COACH COLE (CONT'D) ...the OAOAST tag team champions. And moments after the match had ended, our cameras caught up with both teams. * SWOOSH * Seated on a stool inside the locker room, Logan Mann holds an ICE BAG to the back of his neck. Synth nowhere in sight. LOGAN Nobody ever said it would be easy. Synth and I didn't expect the Sooner Bruisers to lay down and play dead just because we put them on notice. If anything, it would rile them up, make them a little meanier, a little nastier...and that more desperate to keep those tag team titles in their hands. So it was no shock to hear how we had the match won one second, lost the next three. Yet in defeat the Heavenly Rockers still won. Yeah, a loss would go next to our name in the record book, and while we didn't walk out with the tag titles around our waists, we aren't going home empty handed. It's no consolation, but it's something that will benefit us in future matches with the Sooner Bruisers. See, a few months ago, the Sooner Bruisers said they had shattered the spirit of the Heavenly Rockers. Well at November Reign, Rainer Wolfcastle and Wolf-Man, the Heavenly Rockers returned the favor, shattering the myth that you were unbeatable because we had you beat. I had you down for a 10 count, Frank, you jacked up turkey. Somebody dared to look the bullies dead in the eye and say, come on. You've never seen us this CRAZY before! You've never seen us so intense! So focused! I told you the Heavenly Rockers came back changed men. You may have won the battle, but we're gonna win the war. Guaranteed. Synth enters the screen with a towel wrapped around his waist, presumably having come out of the shower. SYNTH Now ya mutha[bleep] deal wit dat! * SWOOSH * Inside the TRAINER'S ROOM, doctors stitch up the Sooner Bruisers. BIG FRANK Reality is a cold hard slap in the face, isn't it, Logan? Despite all the illegal tatics you and that beach blond knucklehead Synth used, you still couldn't get the job done. Here you are on television vowing to take away our championship and extract a little personal revenge in the process, only to wind up on the short end of the stick. A complaint your wife supposedly has directed towards you, Logan. And knowing you guys, you're probably already bitching about your loss. Full of excuses. Hell, I can practically hear you pissing and moaning like the little bitches that you are from all the way over here. We left you in a position all my freakoziods are familiar with -- flat on your backs, except you weren't screaming about how pleasurable it was but how much it hurt. The only thing you and my freakoziods had in common after an encounter with the Sooner Bruisers is, you both were left sore! UBER (giddy) You're old lady made the mistake of sticking her nose where it didn't belong, Mann, and you know where that got her. That's why superheros don't get involved with girls. So walk away while you and Synth still have the use of your legs, because if you keep poking and poking at us like one of your groupies, then we're gonna have no choice but to cripple your asses. Luckily for you, me and big brother are in the Christmas spirit, otherwise we would've ended your careers at November Reign once and for all. But it's a limited time offer only. Heh, heh, heh. BIG FRANK Unlike Santa, the Sooner Bruisers deliver 24/7, 365. But instead of delivering presents...it's ass-kickings. Uber HOWLS to end the video interview. -------------------------------------------------------- COLE Looks like the Bruisers and Rockers aren't quite finished yet. Deep in the heart of Philly, Stabbing Westward's "Save Yourself" brings the 1000+ to their feet, as the OAOAST's favorite son is about to make his presence felt here on HeldDOWN~! COLE Here comes a man who had one hell of a night this past Sunday! Fresh off an amazing give and take battle with the "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, a match that saw both men showcase their natural abilities and not excessive weapon use, Zack Malibu comes through the curtain, scanning the crowd as the people on their feet cheer his arrival. COACH He walked out of November Reign a winner, Cole, but he didn't walk out happy, nor did he walk out a World Champion! COLE That was due to the cancellation of the Triple Cage Match, where the winner of Cortez/Malibu would have gone on to compete for Drek Stone's World Championship. We didn't get that match as planned, but we also left the pay per view knowing that Zack Malibu wants something just as much, if not more, than the World Heavyweight Title back around his waist, and that is Bruce Blank. Malibu hops into the ring, and takes the microphone. As his music is cut, that only gives the fans more of a chance to chant the man's name, as Zack has to pause and wait for the crowd to die down. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" MALIBU I'm out here tonight because I have a few things that I want to get off my chest, and they both relate to November Reign. This past Sunday, I was put into a situation where I had to bite my lip and suck it up a bit. I had to go into the ring against a man partially responsible for nearly everything that I've endured in the last six months. Beatdowns, bleeding, intimidating my family, and snapping my best friend's neck are just a few of the things that Todd Cortez is responsible for. The crowd boos, showing their disdain for the streetwise Wildcard. MALIBU So Sunday night, it all came to a head, and oddly enough, it was without any foreign objects, outside interference, or added stipulations. Sunday night, I proved to the world that Zack Malibu is STILL one of the world's greatest WRESTLERS, and I proved to Todd Cortez that I was, quite simply, the better man. No weapons, no interference, NO EXCUSES! I took everything you had Todd, and you gave me plenty...but I took it, and I gave it back, and I pinned your ass one, two three in the center of that ring. The crowd applauds, cheering Malibu's victory in the hard-fought contest that everyone on the internet has been raving about. MALIBU Now, by virtue of that win, I was supposed to move on. See, there was a missing piece to the puzzle the other night. A Triple Cage Match that was supposed to round out the show, and what happened? Our champion, our WORLD CHAMPION, pulled out at the last minute, citing an unfair working enviroment? Let me tell you something right now, and this is something I've had burning inside me since he got that belt...Drek Stone cares about HIMSELF, and only himself. Drek Stone does not care about business, he does not care about the legacy, the heritage behind that belt that people have busted their asses for! People like myself, people like Caboose, people like Anglesault, all fought and fought hard, no matter what, because it's not the belt who makes the man, it's the man who makes the belt! So he opens his mouth, has his back to the wall with the Triple Cage, and turns and runs. Just like he did to The Upstarts. Just like he did during the Civil War. Except this time, he left you people hanging, and he left seven angry men that he's going to have to deal with sooner or later. See, I know that things have gone off track. I know that I've been focused on other things...but do not forget that I have a title shot coming to me whenever I want it, Drek. I won Two For The Money. I busted my ass, I nearly killed myself ten times over with five other guys in a ladder match at Anglemania this past year to earn the right to stand face to face with the OAOAST World Champion anytime within the following twelve months. Then, I beat Todd Cortez on Sunday night, and I do believe the promise made by the man himself was that the winner of that contest would go on to the Triple Cage, and since THAT didn't happen, it would seem I'm owed something. It would seem I'm owed ANOTHER shot at the World Heavyweight Title! COACH He's right! He's absolutely right! COLE Coach, did you just count on your fingers to figure that out? COACH Nah, man, I was, uh...doing one of them gang signs to my homey over there. COLE Which homey? COACH Homey right there! COLE The seven year old kid in a Zack T-shirt, or the fat guy in a faded CWM T-shirt? MALIBU Now, people, please do not get your hopes up, because I'm not looking to cash in a shot at the World Title tonight. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE He has every right to, but he's holding out? MALIBU I'm going to wait until the time is right. I'm going to hold off on that, because there's unfinished business. There's something that I want more than Drek Stone. There's something I want more than the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title. It's not even someTHING, it's someONE, and his name is BRUCE BLANK! So Bruce, I'm out here, I've got nothing planned tonight. We're in Philadelphia, the most extreme city in the United States of America, so why don't we have our own Hostile City Showdown RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW?! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Malibu throws the mic down, and tears off his T-shirt, throwing it into the crowd. He gets into the ready position, and watches the aisleway, and sooner than later the big redneck swings the curtain open and storms out, equalizer in hand! COLE Here he comes! Here comes Bruce Blank! COACH He's got the bat in one hand and a mic in the other! The despicable human being that he is, Blank comes about halfway down the aisle and stops, while the crowd shouts him down and eggs him on to get in the ring, as Zack is waiting on him. BLANK Now hold on a minute there, boy, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Ya see Zack, I know how bad you want me in that ring with you. I know what pleasure it'd give you to pluck out one o' my eyeballs with your fingers, or maybe crack my skull with my own little toy here. All that rage and frustration, tryin' to seek redemption for your friends and family...it makes a man do crazy things. But now let me tell you, Zack, what I saw out of you Sunday night...hell, that's a different story altogether. See I looked at that monitor and I saw one of my boys, and you, puttin' on one hell of a show. One hell of a fight, actually. I saw a battle, a war out in that ring. I saw the Zack Malibu I had only heard about, or seen on tape. A Zack Malibu completely different from the one I've encountered. I saw a man use his bare hands to win at all costs. I saw a warrior in you, Zack Malibu. You beat my boy Todd Cortez fair and clean. You proved that you were indeed the better man, maybe not overall, but just for a night. You deserved your shining moment, and boy, let me tell you, I think you've damn near accomplished the impossible, because you have earned my respect! COLE WHAT?! COACH Ditto on the WHAT?! over here, Cole! Malibu looks at Blank as if he's totally lost it, as the Redneck Superman inches down the aisle and towards the ring. BLANK That's all it comes down to, ain't it Zack? Respect for others? So I tell you what, Zack Malibu...as a man, I am going to do the unthinkable, right here in Philadelphia. See, we don't need to fight, not now. So what I'm gonna do is come up into that ring, and I'll even put my lil' bat here down on the floor...but I'm gonna come into that ring and shake your hand, because I RESPECT YOU. "BLANK'S A PUSSY!" clap clap clapclapclap "BLANK'S A PUSSY!" clap clap clapclapclap "BLANK'S A PUSSY!" clap clap clapclapclap The hostile Philly crowd is all over Blank, who glares at the fans as he walks up the steps. He comes over the top rope and into the ring, slowly approaching Zack Malibu. Zack looks up at his foe, who smiles, and then extends his hand...AND MALIBU SLAPS IT AWAY! COLE Atta boy, Zack! Blank chuckles to himself, and then offers his hand again, but once again Zack knocks the hand away, and now Blank seems to be rethinking his stance! COLE He has to be crazy if he thinks Zack Malibu is going to forgive and forget and shake his hand! BLANK C'MON Zack, I am putting myself out on the line here. I am showing that I am the better man, now you take my hand and you shake it, and we can call it a day! Blank comes close and extends his hand again, and once again Malibu knocks it away, shaking his head "no" at a disgusted Bruce Blank. BLANK You're bein' a poor sport son, now why don't you just... WHAM~! Things have broken down in Philly, as Malibu has had enough, and connects with a solid right hand, followed up by a series of them that rattle Blank and put him against the ropes! Zack runs across the ring and springs back off the ropes, running towards Bruce and delivers a hard lariat that dumps Bruce over the ropes and to the floor...but Bruce lands on his feet! He yanks Zack's legs out from under him and pulls him to the floor, and now we've got a melee at ringside! COACH It's breakin' down! Referees, trainers, and a slew of supporting cast members come down and try to quell the commotion as Blank and Zack tear up ringside. Blank backs away, and goes in search of something, reaching under the ropes and grabbing one of the mics. BLANK I tell you what, Zack, I'm gonna make a deal with you. You know how I got my contract on the line all the time now...that I'll rip the damn thing up if someone can beat me? Zack, listening to every word, shouts that he wants Blank's ass out of the company. BLANK I tell you what...in two weeks, I'm gonna give you an early Christmas present. I'm gonna give you the chance you want...the moment you've been waiting for. Live on HeldDOWN~!, I'm gonna put my career in the OAOAST on the line with you in a match, one on one! The fans roar, and Malibu is quick to agree, as he's ready for the match NOW. BLANK Whoa whoa now, junior, you sure you wanna do this? Because that's not the only thing I had in mind. If I happen to beat you, Zack, then I get what I want for Christmas. If I can beat you, one two three, fair and square, than I want what's coming to me...I want your RESPECT! COLE Nooooo way. He's serious!? BLANK That's right Zack, you have the chance to get rid of me forever, to make it up to everyone for what I did...but so help me God if I pin your ass you are gonna shake my hand with the world watching! Malibu shouts out "YOU'RE ON!" and it brings up a loud pop from the crowd. Zack stands in the aisleway, trying to get through the wall of security, but there are too many people block his path. The cameras pan over to Blank, throwing the mic down at Sofa Central with a sadistic grin on his face, and it looks like while they're not getting into it tonight, a MAJOR match has been set for two weeks from tonight! COLE What an incredible announcement! December 14th, eleven days before Christmas, OAOAST fans are getting an early gift; Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank will hook it up LIVE on HeldDOWN~! We've got our main event coming up, so stick with us! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2006 COLE Okay, we've taken our last commercial break people and now, we're eagerly anticipating one of the biggest HeldDOWN~! main events of the year. The Hooligans, Jamie O'Hara and The GPX, take on three men who in a past life were collectively known as Martial Law; Todd Cortez, Bloodshed and Landon Maddix. And naturally, in Philly, Anglesault has decided to throw the rulebook off the balcony and through a flaming table, ruling that the match will be a PHILADELPHIA STREET FIGHT!! COACH That's right Mikey. This arena has hosted some of the wildest, bloodiest, craziest brawls in this business and we might just add another to the list tonight. My boys, The Hooligans, are gonna be taking the SWF boys to the EXTREME! COLE I believe that might be copyrighted. We'll look into that. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your MAIN EVENT of the evening... a PHILADELPHIA STREET FIGHT! In this match there are no countouts, no disqualifications, one fall to a finish!! "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd greet The Hooligans with the same hostility as any other city in America, or beyond for that matter, as "Personal Jesus" thumps through the arena P.A. Leading the way in his street clothes, Todd Cortez storms down with intent on the back of his defeat just three nights ago at November Reign. Bloodshed follows close behind. Unlike his partner, he's come ready prepared for the fight, as over his shoulder he carries a small holdall, with lighttubes noticeably poking their neon heads out for all to see. BUFFER Introducing first, representing THE HOOLIGANS... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOODD CCOOOOORRRRTTEEEEEZZZZZ... and BBLLLLLLOOOOOOOOODDSSSSSHHHHHEEEEEEEDD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A small wait later and the team is complete, as Landon Maddix saunters out. Still basking in the glow of victory three days on, Landon and Megan swagger down the aisle, with the most hostile reception having been saved for the duo. Not that Maddix seems to mind, taking it all in with a cocky smirk. BUFFER And their partner. Accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE... from Huron, South Dakota, he weighs in at two hundred, fifteen pounds... LLAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAADDIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, here we go. Ultimate Punishment was something. War Games was something. But, there's something in the air, in this building, that tells me we might not have seen anything yet. COACH Definately. These people came for blood and they won't be disappointed, I'm sure. COLE The spoils were shared at November Reign, with Landon and Bruce Blank coming up winners against The GPX and Cortez falling of course to Zack Malibu. This feud has ran and ran and the chances of this being the final chapter are somewhere between slim and none, but bragging rights as ever are always at stake. However, you get the feeling that tonight isn't about wins and losses. It's about inflicting yet more scars and shedding yet more blood. Landon joins his partners in the ring, spinning into the centre of the ring with such pomp and circumstance that he manages to turn the crowd further against him. Strangely, or perhaps not so, Cortez and Bloodshed dis-associate themselves with all of Landon's antics, leaving him to get on with jawing with the Philly crowd. "FUCK YOU LAN - DON!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "FUCK YOU LAN - DON!" *clap clap clapclapclap* For all the good it does. ”In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, There finally emerges a group Which has come to set the record straight So, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard Can you say uhhh na na na na” "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Predictably, The Hooligans aren't hanging around. Michael Buffer has already fled to the safety of ringside but even there he doesn't feel safe enough or see the need for an introduction as The Hooligans hit the ring and find themselves pounced on by the trio in the ring! COACH IT'S ON! IT. IS. OOONN! *DINGDINGDING!* O'Hara doesn't last long as Cortez kicks him out of the ring, following out and taking the fight to the floor. It's Bloodshed on Jax meanwhile, while Landon has got the jump on Static and puts the boots to the GPXer, dropping to his knees and laying on a blatant choke. *CRACK!* And it doesn't take long for the weapons to come into play, as Cortez lays out O'Hara with a chairshot to the spine! COLE The Hooligans aren't wasting any time and sure enough, chaos has ensued. The deciding pinfall is going to have to be scored within the ring, but this could spill anywhere, so I hope security are on the ball tonight! Back in the ring and it's still Bloodshed on Jax, Maddix on Static. Maddix takes a moment to once again argue with the Philly crowd though, which allows Static a window back into the fight, blasting Landon with a double leg takedown and mounting him with a flurry of right hands! Spotting this, Bloodshed quickly abandons Jax and pounces on Static with a double sledge, dragging Static away and trapping him in the corner with a choke. Soon to be joined by Landon, who lays in some stomps for good measure. "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" The crowd are trying to get behind the former 6-Man Tag Champs as Static is double-teamed in the corner. O'Hara fares little better on the floor as Cortez lays him throat first over the barricade and chokes away, letting the fans get a good look in the process. COACH You said about The Hooligans wasting no time, but they might have wasted too little time. They got jumped on the bell and there's been no let up since. COLE That's one thing we've come to expect from these Wildcards. COACH Sneak attacks? COLE Well... that wasn't what I meant, but, yes. Johnny Jax is finally up and to the rescue, dragging Bloodshed off of Static and dropping him with a big right hand! Landon sees all this happening but doesn't have enough time to get away before he too gets dropped! Another right for Bloodshed follows! But a jab to the eyes from Landon cuts Jax's mini-fightback off in it's prime. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A quick back elbow keeps Static quiet before Maddix goes back after Jax... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...landing a quick knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. Jax takes a moment to nurse the chest so Landon hits the ropes and gets a run-up looking for a big forearm. Duck underneath by Jax isn't quite what Maddix intended but he looks to make the best of it, leaping up to the middle rope on the other side and somersaults backwards. Jax sidesteps the Quebrada attempt and hits the ropes himself, aiming for the off-balance Next Generation with a clothesline which Maddix just manages to duck in time, executing a go behind and kneeing Jax in the kidneys. Down to one knee goes Johnny Jam, but he's quickly brought back to his feet and guided across the ring, Maddix leaping over the top and bringing The GPXer down throat-first across the top ring rope with the Macho Neck Snap!! MADDIX OOOOOOHHHHH YYEEEEEE... *THUD!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" But Landon's posing and posturing distract him from Scotty Static and a soaring Somersault Plancha, dig it! COLE Scotty Static taking to the air! COACH Nobody does it better Mikey. Except maybe Jamie O'Hara, who's taken into the air courtesy of an irish whip into the steel barricade, flipping up and over into the crowd! Security scramble in and the fans part like the red sea as Cortez follows after O'Hara, taking the fight into the crowd, like you just KNEW it would! COACH The lawyers are on the edge of their seats right now. Cortez mows his way through the chairs in hot pursuit of O'Hara, deflecting a thrown chair and booting The Birmingham Bad Boy upside the head. Grabbing hold of O'Hara by the head, Cortez drags his scrawny English opponent off to the right and towards the bleachers at the back of the building. Fans scatter, providing Todd space to hurl O'Hara into the lower seats. O'Hara is left slumped across the bottom step of the bleachers as Cortez grabs a discarded soda can (nevermind that there's trash cans provided, Philly) and approaches O'Hara. A sudden kick from J-OH stuns him though, causing him to drop the can right at Jamie's feet... *CRUNCH!* ...which is too tempting for Jamie to pass up! COLE And that'll shred your skin in a hurry. Cupping Cortez behind the head, O'Hara throws The Urban Legend into the bleachers, Cortez's head hitting one of the metal steps and snapping back violently. O'Hara is right on him with some right hands as the two brawl up the bleachers, towards the topmost seat. COACH I've got a bad feeling about this. COLE You and me both. Bleachers aren't designed to be fought on, although maybe in some cases they should be. Reaching the top, O'Hara throws Cortez into the wall behind the bleachers. Luckily they're tight to the wall so there's no drop just yet. But the night is young. O'Hara puts a few stomps in on Cortez before turning to the crowd and firing them up, distracting him as Cortez fires off a roundhouse that catches Jamie low in the gut, perhaps even lower. Over doubles O'Hara as Todd looks around and gives the signal that it's OVAH~! Which it could be, match, career, life perhaps, if Cortez has what it seems planned as he pulls O'Hara into a standing headscissors. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh no... no, he wouldn't. COACH The hell he wouldn't! Of course he would, he's sadistic! Cortez fights off some resistance from O'Hara before giving the 'flippy signal', which could only mean Riot Act Plus! Thank God then for Scotty Static, having arrived just in time and with a chair in hand. *CRACK!* "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Taking the chair between the shoulder blades, Cortez tumbles down the bleachers which is far from a comfortable ride. COLE Wow, O'Hara's life must have flashed before his eyes for a second there. But luckily Scotty Static sensed his partner was in trouble and came to the rescue. COACH That's what The Hooligans are about. They watch each others' backs, that's how you do on the streets. All for one and one for all. COLE I'm pretty sure that's copyrighted too. As Cortez hits the floor, Static stalks after him with the chair still in hand. But from out of the shadows creeps Landon Maddix, skulking around until the time is right and attacking Static from behind with forearms. Static ends up dropping the chair and Maddix continues the onslaught, the two brawling up the side of the bleachers as Maddix irish whips Scotty, sending him into the wall with a *THUD!*. Static bounces back off the wall and drops to his knees, Maddix pouncing with more forearms. Behind him, Cortez is up. Despite some nicks and cuts up and down his back Cortez joins in the beating of Static, with Johnny Jax still in the ring and unable to help, due to being pre-occupied with Bloodshed. "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" The chants meanwhile are caused by Jamie O'Hara, pulling himself up on the top step of the bleachers and looking around the crowd. He's actually looking for Cortez, who he soon finds down below putting the fists to Scotty Static, while Maddix holds him at bay. Most people would jog down the bleachers and come to their partner's aid. Jamie O'Hara isn't most people. Turning his back on the trio a good eight or ten feet below, O'Hara slowly inches back to the edge of the bleachers. Maddix eventually sees the shadow looming over him and alerts Cortez to the danger. But by then O'Hara is already in motion, backflipping over the edge... ...AND WIPING ALL THREE MEN OUT WITH A DOUBLE MOONSAULT OFF THE BLEACHERS!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH MY GAAAAAWWWWWDD~! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE That may be the damndest thing I've EVER seen on an OAOAST show! Not just a dive off the bleachers, not just a moonsault, but a DOUBLE moonsault! TWO moonsaults in one movement! That's... that's insane! COACH The average person couldn't do that many flips off of the roof of this building, let alone just off the bleachers. COLE The average person wouldn't even contemplate trying it! COLE Mah boy's one of a kind! All four men lie in a human dogpile on the New Alhambra floor, the fans going nuts all around them which is giving security one hell of a job to control them. Their inactivity gives us the perfect opportunity to cut back to the ring meanwhile, as Johnny Jax watches on, stunned. From his vantage point he can't see whether O'Hara crashed and burned or just crashed. He also can't see Bloodshed, crawling across the ring behind him and reaching out for his holdall. Opening it up, it soon becomes clear that Bloodshed has more than just lighttubes in his bag of tricks, as he climbs back to his feet holding a weapon in hand. A STAPLE GUN! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh boy, shades of School's Out! COACH Turn around J! Johnny can't hear Coach from up in the Eagle's Nest. To be fair, he probably wouldn't hear him from three feet away with all the noise in the arena, but that's neither here nor there. Unable to see what happened to his tag partner, Jax turns around and goes back to the action. Bloodshed quickly charges him with the staple gun wielded, but Jax sees him coming and goes to the knee with a basement dropkick, cutting Bloodshed down... and sending him face-first into the middle turnbuckle! Bloodshed is left checking his nose is still in place on his face, allowing Johnny Jax to gain possession of the staple gun!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Jax has the staple gun! We might be about to see a little payback for School's Out right here! Pulling himself back to his feet, Bloodshed searches in vain for the staple gun. Figuring it must have fallen from the ring, Bloodshed wheels around and charges at Jax... right into a boot to the gut... *DFFT!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND A STAPLE RIGHT TO THE HEAD!!!! COLE Hopefully you all put the women and children to bed already, but if not, we suggest you do right now. COACH And if any of our advertisers are watching, maybe you should go too. Bloodshed writhes on the canvas as Jax, still clutching the staple gun, exits the ring and goes to the crowd. A few of the fans offer up their chairs to Triple J, but Jax declines and instead holds his hands out, begging for money! Surprisingly the fans are eager to give, Jax taking three dollar bills and rolling back into the ring. COACH Bah! He should have ran and taken the money. On his knees, Bloodshed checks his forehead for blood, which unsurprisingly it supplies. The trickle of blood actually seems to bring a smile to Bloodshed's face, a smile which is wiped off as Jax scoots around and kicks him in the chest, rocking Bloodshed back. He stays on his knees though. Unfortunately for him, as Jax pins one of the dollar bills onto his forehead... *DFFT!* ...AND STAPLES IT DOWN!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Paybacks are a bitch! COLE Well, we expected blood and we're seeing it right now! The cut on Bloodshed's forehead is opened up even more, or at least accompanied by another cut, the blood really beginning to flow and staining the dollar red. "ONE MORE TIME!" "ONE MORE TIME!" "ONE MORE TIME!" "ONE MORE TIME!" But the fans aren't satisfied yet, wanting to see Bloodshed put through even more torture. Jax is happy to oblige them, pinning dollar bill number two down... *DFFT!* ...AND STAPLING IT TO HIS NOSE!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH AAAAHH! COLE Oh, MY! I can't imagine how AGONISING that must be! Bloodshed's eyes go wide as saucers as the bill stays stapled to his nose, dangling bloodily over his lips. And even Jax seems to think enough is enough now, shoving Bloodshed onto his back and making the cover... 1... 2... But Bloodshed KICKS OUT! COLE How!? Or, better yet, Why!? Dropping the staple gun, Jax now exits the ring and goes under the ring. Referee Charles Robinson checks to see if the bloody Bloodshed wants to quit but of course he doesn't, as another roar goes up through the arena, at the sight of a TABLE being dragged into view by Johnny Jax! COLE It wouldn't be Philadelphia without a table or two! Jax quickly sets the table up on the outside, positioning it next to the ring apron and giving it a slap for good luck. And to indicate, if it wasn't clear already, that somebody's going to go through it. COLE Well, we've lost sight of the other four men in this match and our cameraman is stranded in amongst the fans. So it seems like we're down to just one on one, at least for the moment. Johnny Jax and Bloodshed COACH Let's hope the cops haven't intervened. Back in rolls Jax, catching Bloodshed from behind with a quick knee and setting him up for a back suplex. Bloodshed floats behind and lands on his feet though, somehow still able to fight even with two dollar bills stapled to his face as he pushes Jax into the ropes in front. Back bounces Jax and Bloodshed quickly backs against the ropes, ducking his head and looking to backdrop Johnny over the top and through the table... ...succeeding only with Part 1, Jax landing safely on the apron and hanging Bloodshed up throat first across the top rope! JAX JAM SESSION!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Jax is looking for the Jam Session, presumably through that table, which is what won The GPX their Hooligan Street Fight with D*LUX a few months ago! If he hits it, chances are Bloodshed is done! As the crowd buzz away, Jax pulls Bloodshed up and reaches over the ropes, looking to lift him up into a fireman's carry. Bloodshed tries to deadweight him, but Jax makes a final effort and hauls Bloodshed up, onto his shoulders, carrying him over the rope and turning to face the table! Bloodshed is struggling, but Jax has him up and just needs now to lift and to throw. Like Bloodshed before, he gets Part 1 off okay... ...but gets something spewed in his eyes!! COLE BLOODMIST!! *CRRAAAASSHHH!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE AND THEY BOTH GO CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE!! "O - A - O - A - S - T!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!" The wreckage of blood, bodies and broken wood gets the fans going, as both Bloodshed and Jax are down. And neither is moving. COLE That was pure desperation right there. It looked like Bloodshed might have countered on the way down with a DDT, after spewing his own blood into Jax's eyes, but Bloodshed took a bad fall through the table in his own right! And we're at a stalemate here, both men are down and both are out! COACH And they're both on the floor. You can only get the pin in the ring tonight, so even if Bloodshed could roll on top with a cover, it won't matter. COLE That's right Coach. We can write both these two off for the mo... what? COACH I didn't say nothi... COLE No, Coach, I'm hearing that we've found the other four men in this match. It seems they've... they're OUTSIDE!? COACH How come I can't hear a director? Sure enough, we cut to our intrepid cameraman on the New Alhambra floor, where it seems the fight has spilled out through the front door and into the Philadelphia air! Cortez and O'Hara are brawling right outside the front door, security struggling to restrain the fans as they try to get a good view of what's going on. Cortez lifts O'Hara up, looking to slam him on the concrete. But O'Hara squirms out behind and shoves Cortez forward... *CRAASH!* ...INTO THE METAL FOLDING DOOR AT THE SIDE OF THE ARENA ENTRANCE!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara doesn't let up and puts the boots to Cortez as we finally find Landon and Static, a little further out in front building. The woozy Static sits slumped on one not-so-lucky fan's car parked in front of the building, as Landon strides past the front doors looking to get a run up. And a run up he gets. But he also gets a backdrop... *THUD!* *MEEPMEEPMEEPMEEPMEEP!* ...RIGHT ONTO THE HOOD OF THE CAR!!!!! COLE This is crazy, they're fighting outside the arena! It's the middle of winter and Landon Maddix is out there in nothing but a pair of shorts! COACH What the hell does what he's wearing matter? He just got backdropped onto a CAR!! Static now abandons Landon and the honking car he lies on, going back to find Todd Cortez fighting back on Jamie O'Hara. O'Hara gets tossed into the wall, but Static immediately pounces on The Urban Legend. Without weapons at hand, Static rains down with right hands and sends Cortez retreating towards the front doors. Fans are again quick to scatter, leaving behind a plastic trash can which Cortez hurls behind him hopefully, catching Static in the face and putting him down, for a couple of seconds at least. Unfortunately O'Hara is on him in a second though and finds a more traditional weapon, that being a steel chair... *CRACK!* ...slamming it over Cortez's back! "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" O'HARA YOU WOT!? "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" Away crawls Cortez and O'Hara is in hot pursuit, the two disappearing off as the camera turns to Scotty Static, being attacked from behind by the barely mobile Landon Maddix. Maddix lands a forearm to the back and promptly collapses to his knees with Static. COLE Everybody's really hurting now, which didn't take long, no surprise. None of these six are going to come out unscathed tonight, that's for sure. Both Static and Maddix struggle back up and it's a quick kick from Static that makes the difference, The GPXer hollering for the fans to move out of the way as he then runs Maddix forward AND PITCHES HIM THROUGH THE DISCARDED CHAIRS!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The only person in the ring right now, Megan Skye watches on in horror from her perch on the bottom rope. Meanwhile, Scotty Static has done a disappearing act too. But he soon returns, dragging with him ANOTHER TABLE!! COACH Hey, isn't that the merchandising table!? COLE Well, it WAS the merchandising table. COACH Man, this is gonna be the most expensive match in OAOAST history. Building repair, car repair, lawsuits... COLE Copyright infringments. COACH Damn. I thought you'd forget about that. Static sets up the table and quickly goes after Maddix, who's decided he's had enough and makes a 'run' for safety. Of course, he can't really run right now. Neither can Static though, following Maddix through the chairs and the fans and the trash they've left behind, gradually getting closer and closer to the ring. Leaving the table behind. Jax and Bloodshed are still down. And as for O'Hara and Cortez, they're... ...they're... ...UP IN THE MILLER LIGHT SKYBOX!?!? "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh my God! Oh my God, how the hell did they get up there!? COACH Nevermind that, how the hell are they gonna get back down!? "PLEASE DON'T DIE!" "PLEASE DON'T DIE!" "PLEASE DON'T DIE!" "PLEASE DON'T DIE!" If there's a way to top Ultimate Punishment and War Games, that'd be it. But hopefully it won't come to that, as Cortez can be seen pitched into yet another wall. This one happens to be the very top of the wall, who knows how many feet above the arena floor, which just adds to the fun. The fans in the Skybox are in the real trouble now, trying to keep out of the way as O'Hara takes one of their beverages and chugs it down, before tossing the remains into The Urban Legend's face!! COLE That might not have been smart. Todd Cortez lives a straight edge sort of lifestyle, he certainly won't appreciate a beer in his face. O'Hara could care less, throwing a boot at Cortez before picking up a chair... *CRACK!* ...throwing at Cortez's head and presumably knocking him down with it. The fans are all straining to get a view of what's actually happening up in the Skybox, until Jamie O'Hara appears, climbing onto the ledge of the Skybox and signalling for something flippy. COACH Okay, Jamie, I'd get down if I were you. COLE This is dangerous territory... ridiculously dangerous territory! Shaking a little as he tries to keep his balance, O'Hara turns around and prepares to do whatever crazy flip it is he was planning on executing on Cortez. Unfortunately for him though, Todd Cortez is up. And he's waiting on The Birmingham Bad Boy, giving him no time to react as he leaps up and executes a dropkick. COLE LOOK OUT BELLLOOOOOWWW... *CCRRRRAAAAAAASSSSHHHHH!!" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Simply put, the fans go BANANA, as the table virtually explodes underneath O'Hara's plummeting body! O'Hara rolls away and curls up into a fetal position, as Cortez peers over the edge of the Miller Lite Skybox with a smile etched on his face. "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE Correction... THAT is the damndest thing I've EVER seen on an OAOAST show!! Back to the ring we go meanwhile, what with O'Hara likely showing no signs of life for the next three months after that insane plunge and all, as Landon Maddix has found his way back to ringside. Scotty Static is still chasing after him and Landon rolls into the ring, begging off from The GPXer as he slides in after him... and drops an elbow into the back of the head! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Frantic, Landon clubs away with repeated forearms on Static's upper back and neck to keep him down. Landon then scrambles away and grabs Bloodshed's holdall, seeing fit to commander his partner's possessions as he grabs a lighttube... and looks momentarily lost. COACH It's not a lightsaber, moron! COLE Maddix looks a little out of his element here. Megan screams at Maddix to hurry up and use it and that shakes Maddix back into life, raising the glass tube over his head and approaching on Static... who jabs him in the gut! And again! And a third time! Maddix drops the lighttube and Static snatches it, wielding the glass weapon like a baseball bat as he swings for Landon's head... ...DUCKED! Maddix backs off and goes back to begging off, making quick with the apologies as Static swings again... ...DUCKED! Now Landon's getting desperate and he starts praying, looking to appeal to Static's better nature not to try again. But try again he does, lifting the lighttube over his head and swinging down... *SSMMAASSHH!!* ...COMPLETE SHOT!! LANDON HITS THE COMPLETE SHOT!! AND STATIC GOES FACE-FIRST INTO HIS OWN LIGHTTUBE!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Desperation counter! And Static just faceplanted right through the glass! Landon rolls into a seated position and, horrified, looks at his right arm which has been lacerated by the breaking glass. He's told to get on with it by an unsympathetic Todd Cortez though, having made his way down from the Skybox and reaching the barricade, watching on as Maddix rolls Static over and makes the cover... 1... 2... 3 -NO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE You're KIDDING! Maddix resumes whining about his arm as Cortez rolls in with a steel chair in hand and takes over for the team, pulling Scotty up and revealing the blood now spouting from his forehead! Bloodshed is up on the apron now as well and it's three to one on the 'conscious' scoreboard. "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" "HOO - LI - GANS!" Grabbing hold of the throat, Cortez says it's OVAH~! as he grips the waistband of Scotty's pants, looking to take him up and down with the Urban Assault. In a last, all or nothing effort, Static clocks him with an elbow to the temple, followed up with a second, managing to fight Cortez off... *SMACK!* "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" ...and BLASTING Maddix with a Superkick as he runs in!! COLE It's three on one, but Scotty Static is trying to fight the odds regardless! COACH If I didn't know Scotty I'd say it were unbelievable, but I'm believin' it! Bloodshed is next on the chopping block, knocked off the apron by Static and sent crashing to ringside, with a thud on the unforgiving floor of the New Alhambra. That just leaves one, Static turning around... ...and getting taken up and down with the URBAN ASSAULT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Aw no! Not like this! COLE Static just had one too many to fight off! Cortez places a hand on the chest, making a makeshift pin which is all but academic now... 1... 2... NOO! JAX MAKES THE SAVE!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH ALRIGHT! We're still in business baby! COLE Johnny Jax from nowhere, back into the land of the living at the most crucial time imaginable!! Still wearing the blood of Bloodshed across his face, Jax stumbles away as he tries to stay on his feet. Cortez scrambles up and meets him with a boot to the gut, before executing an irish whip. Just getting to his feet, Maddix finds himself back off them moments later as Jax dives with a Spear, wiping him out! Jax then turns back around, where Cortez is waiting on him, dropping him with a sudden Inverted Atomic Drop. COLE Patented Todd Cortez. A quick forearm knocks Scotty Static out through the ropes and onto the apron as Cortez now calls for the end, waiting on Jax to climb back up and into Riot Act Plus position... ...before realising what position Scotty Static is in and smiling wryly to himself. COACH Oh...oh no, he's going for the Riot Act Plus on the apron! I can feel it! And Coach is right, as Cortez exits to the apron and begins to pull Static up. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE NO! He's going to try and put Scotty Static on the shelf like he did to Leon Rodez and probably did to Jamie O'Hara earlier! COACH Somebody needs to stop this! Cortez places Static in a standing headscissors on the apron and gives the signal for the Riot Act Plus! The crowd are booing and no doubt, somewhere, Zack Malibu is stewing watching all this. And stewing, knowing he can't do anything about it, as Cortez wraps his arms around Static's waist and crouches down... ...springing off the apron... ...just as Johnny Jax a Dropkick to the shoulder!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cortez goes flying off the apron and soars into the ring barricade, wiping him out. Static is taken out in the process due to the headscissors he was in, spun off the apron and onto the arena floor with a thud, but thankfully not so violently as he would have been had Cortez hit his Riot Act Plus. COLE Thank God! Johnny Jax just saved his partner from a trip to the hospital with that one! COACH Yeah, he might have taken Scotty out, but in the longterm he might have just saved his career right there. COLE And we are down to two at the moment! Make that three, as MEGAN SKYE has slid into the ring and grabs the steel chair lying near the ropes, cautiously approaching Triple J with the chair wielded. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan creeps up on Jax... ...but she doesn't reckon on Jax's sixth sense kicking in, The GPXer turning around and catching Megan in the act, causing her to freeze up just short of smashing him with the chair! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Uh-oh! Megan Skye is in a WORLD of trouble now! COACH Johnny won't hesitate in hitting her neither! She provoked him! That looks to be true, as Jax balls up his fist and closes in on Ms. Skye. Even with a chair in hand and Jax far from 100%, Megan doesn't trust herself to go it alone with the former World Tag Team Champion. And, with a shriek, she tosses the chair at Jax and turns tail! Jax takes a swing with the chair but Megan is long gone, frustrating Jax who's left with an unused chair... ...which he really should have gotten rid of... *CRACK!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE VAN DAMINATOR!? COACH You mean Lan Daminator? COLE LAN DAMINATOR!? Jax lies motionless as Maddix brushes the chair out of the way, dropping on top of Jax with a cover that could only be described as desperate... 1... COACH C'mon, kick Johnny, kick! 2... 3!!!!!! COACH DAMNIT! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd deflate as the three is counted, Megan still looking a little traumatised but managing some sort of a celebration. Landon doesn't have time for that though, exiting the ring and scrambling for the exits with his job done for the night. BUFFER Your winners of the match... the team of BLOODSHED, TODD CORTEZ and LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon doesn't hang around for his partners and makes it halfway down the aisle before the ego kicks in and he feels compelled to throw his hands up in victory, Megan hugging her man and Landon seeming oblivious to the fact she's still shaking in fear. COLE It looks like a car wreck out here. There's bodies lying all over this arena, blood, broken tables, we've got medical staff attending to Jamie O'Hara after going off that Skybox... what a crazy, crazy match! These six men yet once more put their bodies on the line in this personal war. And in the end, Landon Maddix by... some sort of luck or fortune gets the fall and is just about able to walk out of here on his own power! COACH Somewhere, Bruce Blank's gonna be smiling, that's all I know. I don't know if this makes up for War Games, but it probably comes close. COLE Well one thing is for sure... even after all this, we haven't heard the last of this gang war. Landon Maddix may have won The Wildcards the battle, but the war, I'm sure, is going to continue. From Johnathon Coachman, Michael Cole saying thank you for tuning in and we will see you next week, same time, same channel, same HeldDOWN~! action! Goodnight! FADE TO BLACK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted December 1, 2006 Written by: EWC King Cucaracha Tony149 Alfdogg Zack Malibu Produced by: KingPK © 2006 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
