Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2007 Ears across the globe hear HD's random introductory theme song, recorded by a Nameless MySpace Indy Band Only Three People Have Ever Heard Of, because all mainstream music is fucking terrible and you're a worthless shithead if you've ever entertained the thought of buying an All American Rejects, MIMS, Fallout Boy, Katherine McPhee, or Shakira album. While all this transpiring the intro video causes epileptic seizures to millions worldwide. After that piece of bidness is done the logo makes it's usual appearance... A parade of fireworks terrorize the sold out Qwest center, as the raucous Nebraska crowd pummels the air with their cries of joy and celebration. Neatly designed signs shoot into the sky, advertising each fans' favorite entertainer, or in some cases their least favorite. Though their opinions vary, their excitement for tonight's proceedings is much the same. Eventually we're brought to our announce team, each member wearing OAOAST Syndicated t-shirts that no one in their right mind would ever think of buying. COACH Why are we here? Who wants to be in Nebraska for anything? The Coach is a big mover, a major player, I gotta be in the big time, big cities, New York, LA, the ATL, ain't nothing goin down in Omaha! COLE Maybe not usually, but tonight there sure is! COACH Like what? COLE For one thing we have an enormous pay per view quality mainevent as Zack Malibu, Bohemoth, Caboose and Jamie O'Hara battle The Lightening Crew in an eight person tag team match that's certain to garner a few match of the year votes this December. But that's not all, because Tte six man titles will be on the line tonight as Brock Ausstin and America's Team defend against The Enterprise's unit of The Beverly Hills Blonds and Craig Patrick Allen. And finally, although I'm a huge fan of D*LUX, one of their biggest in the company, I can't say I'm looking forward to the match that Shayne Brave is involved in tonight. A blindfold match against Christian Wright. Just disgusting, I can't believe it was allowed to stand. COACH You crazy, kid. Ain't nothing better then watching some pretty boy Idol washout grope and claw futilely while the 2005 rookie of the year smashes his brains out! That's what I came for, that's why I'm in Omaha. Let's get on wit' it! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the World six-man tag team championship! You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks The fans waste no time voicing their contempt for the rich and famous, the fantastic foursome of the Beverly Hills Blonds, CPA and Mackenzie DeCenzo, booing them at the top of their lungs. CPA provides cover for Mackenzie as debris is hurled their direction. The Blonds, meanwhile, add fuel to the fire by taunting various audience members on their way to the squared circle. One male so incense after an inappropriate gesture by Ned Blanchard towards his female companion, he reaches over the guardrail to take a shot at the Handsome Hustler, only to have CPA swat his hand away. CPA MALE FAN BLANCHARD SINGLETON BUFFER Now arriving on the red carpet, accompanied by MACKENZIE DECENZO and representing THE ENTERPRISE, the challengers! First, from the Collection Agency, 265 pounds…CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as C-P-A! His partners, total combine weight 460 pounds…SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD…THE BEVERLY HILLS BBLLLLLLOOOOOONNDDSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What a contest this should be, ladies and gentlemen. A match-up we all thought we’d see last week, but an administrative error on the part of the OAOAST caused the bout to be postponed. COACH I’m sure it was just an accident that some chick forgot to dot the I and cross the T, right? I bet they’re some real insecure people in OAOAST headquarters. They see how strong the Enterprise is becoming by the week and those in positions of power are worried Theodore Moneymaker will place a hostile bid to acquire the company and actually hold people accountable for their actions. COLE Speaking of Theodore, he and Christian Wright still on the hunt for the World tag team titles currently held by Chicks Over Dicks. Moneymaker vowing to dethrone America’s Sweethearts by any means necessary, including putting together his own tag team battle royal last week! COACH If COD have any ovaries left, they’d grant CW and Teddy an immediate rematch. Imagine all the money that would be going to charity if Teddy didn’t have to spend it on chasing COD and the tag titles. COLE Theodore giving money to charity? Unless it’s to Rudy’s presidential campaign I highly doubt that. Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? Smoke fills the entranceway as “Punishment” blares in the background. As the smoke disperses the World 6-man tag team champions appear onstage. America’s Team lift the hoods of their windbreakers to stare down the Blonds and CPA, while Brock does the HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~! BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of 790 pounds...they are the REIGNING and DEFENDING 6-man tag team champions of the woooooorld, CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIEN BENJAMIN...AMERICA'S TEAM...and BROCK AUUUSSSSTIIIIIIIIN!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me. * BOOM * Pyro BLASTS from all 4 ring posts as Brock leaps onto the ring apron from the arena floor. Right behind him are Moss and Benjamin, who climb up the ring steps and enter. COLE It should be noted, Christian Wright was originally scheduled to compete in this match, but Theodore Moneymaker issued an executive order hours prior to coming on the air and replaced him with CPA. COACH A source close to the situation told me it was a mutual decision. The concern with CPA was his lack of in-ring experience. Would he be more of a liability than anything else? He gives the Enterprise that power hitter to match-up against Brock Ausstin, which wouldn‘t be the case if CW was the third man. I’ve been told CPA is still a bit raw, but has shown a tremendous amount of progress in the last few weeks under the best training money can buy. Teddy’s gambles are known to pay off, and I expect the trend to continue tonight. Whatever garb the participants need to remove is done so. The assigned official asks both teams if they have any last minute questions, and the answer is no. All 6 men ready to go, with Charlie Moss and Simon Singleton to start for their teams. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and Charlie Moss grabs a side headlock. Singleton tries to shoot him off into the ropes but Moss stands his ground and tightens his grip. Far from the ropes Simon punches Charlie in the gut and bends him backwards with an overhead wristlock, Moss bridging on his neck to avoid his shoulders touching the mat, trying to muscle his way up, but Simon yanks him down with a handful of hair. ONE… Moss kips up and places Singleton in a wristlock, then flips him onto his back and into an overhead wristlock. Grimacing in discomfort Simon rakes the eyes and clubs Charlie across the shoulder blades before reaching back and… “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” …chopping the hide off Moss’ chest. A barrage of forearm smashes, knife-edge chops and knees to the midsection rattle the Minnesota native against the ropes. The Beverly Hills Blonds make a tag and fire Moss across the ring…but he rolls under an attempted double back elbow and tags Quentin Benjamin, who leaps to the top rope in a single bound and delivers a SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY! ONE… TWO… DOUBLE KICKOUT! Benjamin pops to his feet and DROPKICKS CPA OFF THE APRON! MACKENZIE Mackenzie isn’t happy about what she’s seeing, but the thousands jammed inside the area are. Quentin grabs the Blonds by the head and brings them together for a painful meeting of the minds, knocking Blanchard out to the floor. Singleton staggers around in a world of hurt and walks into the arms of Benjamin for a slam. Quentin points to the corner and heads up top. But standing in his way of Simon is the Enterprise Director of Security CPA who dares Benjamin to tempt fate. And he does, first causing CPA to flinch by faking a jump, and then levels the big man with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE!! COLE Oh, yeah! The champs in control! Brock Ausstin steps in, having accepted the tag from Quentin, and press slams Simon onto CPA! Simon shakes off the cobwebs and frantically crawls to his corner, extending his hand to Ned. BLANCHARD SIMON Tag me. Wide-eyed, Blanchard puts on a tough guy act, threatening Brock with all kind of bodily harm but declines the tag because, in his words, “I don’t want to do that to you, son.” COACH Look at the compassion being shown by Ned. And people had the audacity to question his 2005 Father of the Year award. He’s a far better father than Alec Baldwin. COLE First of all, Ned bought that award at a flea market -- so I heard. Secondly, he knows Brock would kill him if they met. As usual, Ned’s passing off his responsibilities to somebody else. “KRISTA’S BITCH!” “KRISTA’S BITCH!” “KRISTA’S BITCH!” Ned directs Simon to CPA and covers his ears to block the chant aimed at him. Because our big men can work, the crowd buzzes in anticipation of a Brock-CPA clash. Unlike their last encounter, neither man is interested in testing strength so they engage in a slugfest! With CPA getting the worst of it he tackles Brock out to the floor. But that’s about as good as it gets for him, as Brock reverses his Irish whip and sends CPA crashing into the guardrail. Looking to follow-up with a clothesline Ausstin rumbles forward and eats a big boot to the face, and then is posted. Rather than toss Brock inside CPA goes for one more move and one move too many, smashing his shoulder into the ring post as Brock telegraphs his shoulder charge and moves aside! COACH That’s what I was talking about earlier. This was the concern of Teddy‘s. Inexperience as CPA is, he’ll overcompensate at times. And this is one team you don’t want to do that against because they’ll make you pay. COLE Well, you said it yourself -- it’s a gamble on Teddy’s behalf. COACH As long as CPA can avoid the chokehold Brock disguises as a submission maneuver, he’ll be fine. They would already be 6-man tag champions if not for the choke. No way are the officials going to give a rookie that call. Back inside the ring, Brock power slams CPA and covers, hooking the leg! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Ausstin raises CPA up to his feet, but on their way to the face corner CPA snags him out of nowhere and connects with a back suplex! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! CPA slams Brock in the center of the ring and tags Singleton, who soars through the air and drops the big elbow off the top! ONE… TWO… And Brock kicks out with authority! COLE My goodness, would you take a look at that! There is still a ton of fight left in the former Heartland Champion Brock Ausstin. Woozy, Brock resists an attempted snap mare, forcing Simon to call in Ned for help. Together the Blonds are able to get the job done, and then celebrate as though they just slammed Andre the Giant. Now that Brock is flat on his back Blanchard wants a piece of him. Simon obliges and the Handsome Hustler spikes the point of the elbow across Ausstin’s sternum. Ned snaps a shot of Brock clutching his chest on his imaginary camera phone, and receives a well placed kick to the gut for his arrogance. Blanchard responds by stomping a mudhole and walks it dry! COACH You talked about Brock having a lot of fight left in him. Well it’s all bark and no bite. Ned is the one doing all the biting. Ned taunts America’s Team as he sets Brock for a suplex, not your traditional suplex but a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. Brock, however, has other things in mind. He blocks the slingshot and drops Blanchard down on the top rope! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!” Charlie Moss replaces Brock as the legal man and T-Bone’s Ned, lifting the Handsome Hustler overhead and planting him mid-ring with his variation of a suplex! ONE… TWO… SAVE BY SIMON! Moss rams Blanchard into the turnbuckle and whips him to the far corner, back dropping him out, then measures Ned for a super kick but every desperate housewife’s fantasy and every school girl’s dream lover takes a dive and seeks sanctuary in the ropes. A former rule breaker himself, Charlie lures Ned into a false sense of security and then storms ahead, only to be back dropped over the top rope near the Enterprise corner…but Moss lands on his feet and cold-cocks a charging Simon Singleton with a SUPERKICK! “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Blanchard swings wildly at Moss, who ducks and thrusts his shoulder through the ropes and into Ned’s midsection. Charlie somersaults over the top, springing off Ned’s back, and grabs hold of the Handsome Hustler as he turns around…BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! ONE… TWO… THREE-- NO!! CPA BREAKS UP THE COUNT! COLE Should the Enterprise emerge victorious I’m sure Theodore Moneymaker will have a special cash bonus waiting for CPA. He just saved his team from sure defeat! No way would Blanchard have kicked out. You could almost hear the air knocked out of him following the belly-to-belly. Charlie Moss got him good. CPA does more than breakup the count, he also gets in a few blows on Moss, leading to a shoving match with America’s Team and Brock which the referee is quickly able to gain control of. The confrontation earns Ned a much needed breather, allowing him to thumb Moss in the eye once the ring clears. Blanchard hammers away and fires Moss off into the ropes, but towards the champions side of the squared circle, enabling America’s Team to make a blind tag. Ned misses a clothesline and gets annihilated with the DOUBLE GOOZLE! ONE… TWO… COLE Three! No! Two and only two! Simon again with the save, kicking Benjamin upside the head and still reeling from Moss’ super kick. Quentin sends Ned hard into the corner, causing him to shoot out and stumble into a hip toss. Benjamin follows up with a standing dropkick and covers! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! The agile collegiate standout shows off his hops, sending Ned back into the corner to connect on a Stinger Splash, but Blanchard remains standing. Another Stinger Splash yields the same result. Benjamin hopes third time’s the charm, but he ends up being caught in midair and dropped throat-first on the top rope, the recipient of a Hot Shot! COLE We might have new champions! Here’s the cover! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! Moss yanks Ned away! Mackenzie DeCenzo and the rest of the Enterprise ringside none too pleased about that. COACH That’s why Benjamin gets for being such a showboat. He went to the well one too many times and paid for it. A perfect example why the Beverly Hills Blonds have had multiple tag title reigns while America’s Team have none. COLE They won the Tag Team World Cup. COACH One year. COLE Is that the best comeback you have? COACH They got lucky! I think the Mexican team got picked up by INS prior to the tournament. They were my pick to win it all. COLE Give me a break, Coachman! Ned smashes Quentin’s face into Simon’s boot and tags out. Double whip in sees Blanchard drop toehold Benjamin as Singleton bounces off the ropes and delivers a leg drop. Rather than go for the pin Simon bashes and grinds his opponent’s face into the mat! Once he has his fun Simon and CPA swap legally swap places, but not before Simon whips Quentin into the ropes, leaving CPA to finish him off with a FRONT SPINEBUSTER SLAM! ONE… TWO…. SAVE BY BROCK! CPA goes on about his business as the referee escorts Brock to his corner. Wrapped in a bear hug Benjamin is rammed into the corner and worked over by a combination of heavy rights and shoulder thrusts. CPA whips Quentin to the far corner and sends him crashing down to earth via a MILITARY PRESS SLAM, which sets the stage (after a tag of course) for the Beverly Hills Blonds ROCKET LAUNCHER!! COACH They hit it! I told you we’d have new champions! ONE… TWO… THREE! NO!!! The Enterprise can’t believe it and neither can most of the fans, who break out in cheer after the initial shock wears off. Simon Singleton, the legal man, scoops Benjamin for a slam, but Quentin slips out and maneuvers him into the ropes, rolling back in a pinning combination! ONE… TWO… Simon kicks Benjamin forward and CPA clubs him across the back of the neck as he hit’s the ropes, and then Quentin gets spiked on his head courtesy of a DDT! ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! Frustration begins to creep in as the Enterprise complain of a slow count. Charlie Moss rallies the crowd behind Quentin by slapping the top turnbuckle, getting the fans to stomp their feet and clap their hands in unison. Singleton reintroduces Benjamin to the turnbuckle and slaps him, which only fires up Quentin as a jolt of adrenaline runs through his body, giving him the strength he needs to try and fight his way out of the Enterprise corner, but Simon tackles his legs and he is soon overwhelmed by Ned and CPA. An exchange is made and the Blonds send Quentin off for a ride, then straight up and down onto his stomach! COLE Double Feature flapjack! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Blanchard refuses to settle for anything less than a pin this moment, diving back on top of Benjamin. ONE… TWO… But Quentin kicks out again. ONE… TWO… And again! Benjamin’s face sustains another turnbuckle smash as Blanchard unloads in the corner, punching and chopping the hell out of Quentin. He shoots him off to the far side and connects with a back elbow, and then a succession of power forearms to the chest. Feeling he’s beaten the drive out of Benjamin’s system Ned goes for his Slingshot Suplex, but Quentin floats over and throws a SUPERKICK…but it’s block! Leg in hand Blanchard SPINS Benjamin around…and is drilled square between the eyes with a SPINNING HEEL KICK! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Blanchard may be out of it! What athleticism displayed by Quentin Benjamin! Now can he make the tag? He desperately needs to tag. The Enterprise have done quite the number of him. COACH I can’t help but think the Enterprise let a number of opportunities to put away the champions slip by. I mean, why won’t Benjamin stay down? Live to fight another day, young man. COLE The World 6-man tag team championship is what’s fueling Quentin Benjamin. Mackenzie screams at Ned to make the tag, but he’s still seeing stars and not those on his trunks. Benjamin, meanwhile, searches for his corner before using the remaining energy he has left to crawl to freedom. He spots Brock and Charlie reaching over the top rope. Brock damn near across the ring already because of his large frame. As Quentin nears the corner Ned knows he won’t have time to prevent the tag if he makes one myself, so he decides to go after Benjamin who feels the Handsome Hustler breathing up the rear and dives towards his corner, making the tag to… "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" …BROCK AUSSTIN!! BLANCHARD BROCK Brock hammers away on Ned, as Benjamin rolls to the floor, and Moss follows him out. Brock backs into the ropes, and delivers a clothesline! He then floors Simon with another clothesline! CPA gets some, as well! Brock roars out to the crowd, which goes wild! COLE Brock is like a bull in a china closet! COACH Brock sizes up CPA, and delivers a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And Brock going for the quick kill here! COACH Where are Moss and Benjamin? Brock's fighting three guys by himself here! COLE Well, Benjamin hurt out on the floor, and Moss down to check on him, but Brock doesn't appear to need help in there right now! CPA rolls out to the floor, as Brock clotheslines Simon over the top rope! At this point...Rick Heyross begins to walk down the aisle? COLE Oh, wait a minute. Heyross approaches Moss and Benjamin in the aisleway, and Moss spots him. COACH Remember, we've seen Heyross in the ads for WDW Triumph, but what is he doing out here? Brock sets up Ned for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE And Brock going for the finish, but now he's spotted Heyross at ringside! Brock stops for a second, and drops Ned to the mat. He then slowly walks toward the side of the ring...and Heyross takes off, as Brock gives chase! COLE And Brock hot on the trail of Rick Heyross! Brock and Heyross run a lap around the ring, then Heyross runs to the side of the ring opposite the aisleway...and leads Brock right into Moss and Benjamin, who DROP HIM WITH A DOUBLE FLATLINER~??? COACH WHOA! COLE What the hell? Moss and Benjamin hop up, as Benjamin flicks the sweat from his brow onto Brock. COLE What is this? Moss and Benjamin stare down Brock, and Heyross is shown applauding on the outside! COACH Have Moss and Benjamin joined with Rick Heyross once again? COLE And worse yet, Rick Heyross is a WDW affiliate! COACH I don't believe this one, Cole. Team Heyross leaves the ring along with Rick, as CPA comes to his senses, and plants Brock with the DOMINATOR~!!! COLE And the Dominator from CPA! Cover... 1... 2... COLE 3!!! COLE COACH NEW CHAMPS, BABY! BUFFER The winners of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Six-Man tag team champions...the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS, and CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (lol!) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! The new champs celebrate with the belts, while Heyross, Moss and Benjamin celebrate an apparent reunion in the aisle. COLE I can't believe this! Have we seen the rebirth of Team Heyross? And what about their status with the OAOAST? COACH Well, I know about the Enterprise's status! New Six-man tag champs, baby! COLE Hopefully some liight will be shed on this next week, but right now that light is shining on CPA and the Beverly Hills Blonds, the new Six-Man tag champs! Let's go to... The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? COMMERCIAL BREAK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2007 (edited) And now, the sparely used OAOAST BACKTRAKER! Last Thursday RICO Hey, doll face... (strokes porn 'stache) ... you must be exhausted because you've been running through my mind all night. HOLLY Excuse me? RICO Allow me to introduce myself... and perhaps later expose myself. The name's Rico de Janerio. Pleased to make your acquaintance. (extends hand) HOLLY And I'll be pleased the second you leave. * CLIP * SOUL You know, Rico, I'm startin' to get a little tired of this 'forbidden fruit' act. What the deal, sweet thing? I know it ain't no race thing because you the property of Logan... HOLLY I'm no one's property. Logan's my husband. And if you don't leave me alone, you'll have to answer to him. Once I'm through kicking your asses, that is. RICO Come on, baby. Doesn't everyone want a little fun in their lives? Your old man seems to think so, otherwise he wouldn't have planted one of that foxy Nerdly chicá at AngleMania! Seems to ol' Rico here, he's getting bored playing Ozzie and Harriet. The comment strikes a nerve with Holly, pausing in deep thought, clutching the cup in her hand... SOUL (whispering to Rico) Awwww yeah. I'm ready to wreck that chick. ...before TOSSING IT IN RICO'S FACE!! RICO With the brown colored beverage trickling down his face, Rico takes a step forward... but is cut off by the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS!? SOUL What d'you fools want? JOCK For you two fellahs to leave this dame alone and head on back to where it is you came from. Lucius glances at the camera and then back at Jock, who along with Baron escort Holly back to her dressing room. * CLIP * SOUL (looks at Rico) Somebody get a burn unit out here! Can't a brother get some EMTs up in this place!? My man could be scarred! The women wouldn't like that... yo, Rico, you ain't screaming or nothin', bro. Don't it burn? RICO It should, shouldn't it? Rico runs his tongue across his now brown porn 'stache. RICO Chocolate milk. SOUL Say what? RICO Chocolate milk. She threw chocolate milk in my face. SOUL DAYYUM!, the girl even prefers her milk brown! I'm down with that! RICO Let's get out of here. I gotta change my shirt. But it damn sure ain't the last of this. COLE Welcome back, fans. Michael Cole and the Coach at Sofa Central. And Coach, the video we just saw wasn’t the only newsworthy event of one week ago. COACH Surprise, surprise, it seems our friend Holly-Wood has caught the lust bug yet again. It was Ned Blanchard two years ago, Big Frank Bruiser last year, and now Rico de Janerio. The woman is a nymphomaniac, Cole. COLE How dare you! She’s a married woman! COACH Obviously not a happily married woman, or she wouldn’t have been drooling all over Rico. His eyes melted her heart AND her panties! COLE I can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. Anyway, fans, the other newsworthy event I alluded to occurred in our tag team battle royal main event last week. As the guys in the trunk cue the footage, at the conclusion of the clip we’ll show you an incident captured on tape as our production crew disassembled the backstage interview set. Last Week Rico crashes the Rocker/Gunslinger party by clubbing Logan down to the canvas with a polish hammer. Watching his friend crumble to a heap sets off a blaze of fury in Jock's heart, and leads him to direct a firestorm of punches towards Rico's porn stache! Unable to stave off the torrent of blows, The Brazilian calls for help. His cries are answered by his wingman Lucius Soul who bulldogs The Texas Twister away from his mentor. Synth Esizer spots the trouble his comrades are in, and fights past Moracca to lend them assistance. He exchanges jabs with The Wrecking Crew, but it doesn't take long before their numbers advantage overwhelms him. However, he's given help from Logan Mann who subdues Soul with a waistlock. But Mann's efforts are wasted, as the New Orleans native frees himself with a mule kick! Soul is kept on the defense, however, by Baron Windells charging towards him with a big boot! The afroed fighter ducks the approaching attack, and Baron's enormous shoe collides directly with the face of Logan Mann! Not expecting the lethal strike, Mann is unable to brace himself for the impact, and the force of the attack propels him over the ropes and to ringside mats! The fans are distraught by the stunning elimination, and Windels can scarcely believe his eyes. He apologizes profusely to Logan, but Mann can hear nothing past Holly's yelps of “Are you okay?” and his own agonizing headache. COLE The Heavenly Rockers are out at number three! I can't believe it! Later that Night The video cuts to the Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood near the Gorilla position. Logan paces uncontrollably, clutching the side of his face, as his wife stands by her Mann. Synth the calmer of the two but anxious himself. Their souls just about exit their bodies as the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS return backstage following their elimination from the battle royal. MELODY (gasp) Hey you guys! LOGAN We got a problem. A BIG problem! BARON I reckon it relates to Holly and the battle royal. LOGAN What I have to say doesn‘t concern Holly. As far as that goes, I’m cool with that. You were there when I wasn’t. Even if you weren’t I’m confident she would’ve been okay. They don’t call her the “Angel of Death” for nothing. She doesn’t need a man to protect her at all times. I want to talk about the battle royal. JOCK Look… LOGAN No, you listen. A few weeks ago we told you by sticking your nose in our affairs that you would become the target of teams that don’t see eye to eye with the Heavenly Rockers. Now you can add the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew to your list. But as of their actions towards Holly, we got beef with them too. And by eliminating me and therefore the Heavenly Rockers from the battle royal, we didn’t have much time to inflict the kind of hotel damage to our enemies that we prefer. However, HOWEVER…it took balls for you to do what you did. And we like people with balls. Those are the type we know we can go to hell and back with. We might come back missing an arm or a leg, but as long as I got the tongue that would make Gene Simmons blush… SYNTH And as long as moi has his penis… A comment that makes Melody blush. LOGAN …then all’s fair in love and war. MELODY So are you saying we’re still friends? LOGAN I’m saying the Heavenly Rockers and Lone Star Gunslingers are cool. MELODY Eek! This is the perfect segue to formally invite you to the coolest and most bombastic LAN party known to man or alien. Anyone of you guys play Halo? BARON SYNTH The Heavenly Rockers sometimes wear one. MELODY We are gonna have so much fun! On that giddy note from Canada's favorite geek we go to a shill from Terry Taylor and Melody's sister Maggie in the OAOAST Action Zone! TERRY TAYLOR Fans, this weekend the OAOAST brings to you another one of it's revolutionary television shows, OAOAST Syndicated! MAGGIE NERDLY Yeah, this time we're jumpin off from the STL, St.Louis. It's a real midwest thang, so grab your toasted ravioli, your Fitz Root beer and get ready for the craziest show in sports entertainment. Tha Puerto Rican defends his X title against Bohemoth. And that dude's arm is as big as my car, Puerto's a dead man, Terry. TAYLOR I wouldn't write him off too quickly, he's proven he can handle tough foes. Also Caboose will battle one on one against Vitamin X in Falls Count Anywhere match. You'll want to put your kids to bed for that one! It's gonna get bloody. MAGGIE Just the way we like in the o-a-o. And Cuban Wall will lay his 24/7 title on the line against Jamie O'Hara. TAYLOR Jamie has a heart as big as his mouth, but I don't know if it will be enough to best Cuban Wall. MAGGIE We'll all just have to wait and see this weekend on Syndicated! Peace! COMMERCIAL BREAK While we wait for HD! to return, patty would like 2 say fuk bonds and fuck all Giants especially Barry Zito, that uggg fagott. get ya wet wipes bitch. BLINDFOLD MATCH The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Well, we are about to get a visit from The Corporate Champ. COACH You say that like it's a bad thing. COLE For a lot of people, it is. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. Decked out in his Corporate suit, Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head with his left hand. He then slings the belt over his left shoulder, and picks up his black spray-painted briefcase which contains his Golden Contract with his right hand. He begins walking down the entrance ramp. COLE Later tonight, PRL will be involved in the MEGA SUPER HUGE 8-Man Tag Team Match in our main event! And this Saturday night, he will lock horns with Bohemoth, one-on-one, for the OAOAST X-Division Championship! COACH Bohemoth has no idea what he's getting himself into on Saturday! He might think that PRL's dead meat, but no way, Jose. The Corporate Champ will prevail to keep his Corporate X-Division Title! COLE Again with the Corporate crap. COACH It's not Corporate crap! Don't make me kick your un-corporate ass! Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena as Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises both his title and his briefcase. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises both items again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" ala The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes and calls for a microphone as the lights go back on in the arena. OLE Apparently PRL has got something to say now. COACH I can't wait. The man's a GOD on the microphone! Everything he says is poetry! COLE It's something alright! COACH You don't get poetry. You're just a plebeian! PRL grabs a microphone as “Know Your Role '99” dies down. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN So everyone thinks that Saturday night will be my judgment day, right? “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” THA PUERTO RICAN Well, I'm sorry to say, but if you're tuning into OAOAST Syndicated this Saturday night in primetime, then you're going to be in for a disappointment! Because the only manslaughter you'll see in 2 days is me taking my size 10 foot and laying the smackdown on Bohemoth's braindead candy ass! The crowd boos. PRL paces back and forth with the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt clipped over his left shoulder, the microphone in his left hand and carrying his black spray-painted briefcase with his right hand. PRL Look, I've apologized for hitting Bohemoth with the chair the *first* time. I had absolutely NO intention of striking him that time. But last week...well, last week was a different story! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” TPR Last week, I WANTED to hit Bohemoth, and you know? I did a DAMN GOOD JOB doing so! I did what no one expected me to do. I brought the monster, the 6'7” 284 pound “Metrosexual Monster” to his knees! And not only that, but I made him BLEED! Yes, in the end, it was ME, Tha Puerto Rican, not Cuban Wall, not Deon Black, not Jumbo, not Mr. Boricua, not even Giblaltar, that took Bohemoth down and made him into a little BITCH! COACH Well he did surprise everybody! You can't deny that! COLE I don't know about the end of that sentence though. PRL Now... “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” PRL If you keep chanting that, then I may just have to come out into the audience and show all your mothers and sisters and girlfriends and wives just how much I DON'T SUCK! “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” COACH He'll do it too. PRL's a man who backs up his threats! COLE HA! Tha Puerto Rican sneers at the crowd. He mouths something obscene at the fans and then continues speaking. PR As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted, Bohemoth, on OAOAST Syndicated, you're bad streak is going to continue. First, Cuban Wall took your 24/7 Title! Then I knocked you out with a chair! Then I knocked you out with a chair AGAIN, and this time busted you open! Now on Saturday night, in front of the millions-- “AND MILLIONS!” PRL ...Don't do that. Like I said, this Saturday night in front of the millions and millions of Tha Puerto Rican's fans, I am going to extend your crappy streak further when I beat you 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring to retain my PRESTIGIOUS CORPORATE X-Division Title! And big guy, I hope you are ready, because after Saturday night, after you step into the war zone with me, you might have just a few more bandages on your body! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! COLE P.R. talks a big game. He'll have a chance to prove it this Saturday! PRL My match with Bohemoth will not be for the weak of heart. So please put the little brats to bed before our match takes place. Vitamin X might have a match being marketed as a No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match, but don't be surprise if our match doesn't stay in the ring, because I will use everything in my power to make sure that Bohemoth's match this Saturday on OAOAST Syndicated will be the LAST MATCH OF HIS CAREER! It's not going to be pretty, and I LIKE IT THAT WAY! The first time it was one chairshot! The second time was two charishots! The third time, Bohemoth, I don't care what it takes! It could be a damn mack truck! One things for sure, Bohemoth, this Saturday on OAOAST Syndicated, “The Corporate Champion” will be standing tall! Bohemoth will be flat on his back! And Tha Puerto Rican, The P.R. Menace, will dance all over his corpse and spit on his grave! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-- *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* The crowd EXPLODES as “Liberate” by Disturbed begins playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Bohemoth himself comes out. In one of his pimp suits, Bo plays to the crowd and then points a menacing finger at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL is speechless. COLE Uh-oh! Bohemoth is out here! And so is PRL! Bohemoth looks at the crowd...and then runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring! PRL quickly leaves the ring himself, causing the crowd to boo! COLE And once again, PRL escapes Bohemoth's grasp! COACH He's saving himself up for Saturday, Cole! That's all! COLE He better hope Bohemoth doesn't get his hand on him later on tonight in the 8-Man Tag Team Match! PRL walks around ringside, wagging a finger and going, “No! Not now! Not now!” He walks up the entrance ramp, staring at Bohemoth who stares back. Just then, the crowd starts booing loudly as from the crowd, Cuban Wall appears, climbing over the top rope and entering the ring! COLE Look! Look! Cuban Wall turns Bohemoth around and grabs his throat! However, Bohemoth kicks Wall in his gut several times, breaking the goozle! He then starts punching Wall in his face! COLE Bohemoth is fighting back! Wall is in trouble! Bohemoth engages in a slugfest with Cuban Wall! Back and forth they go, until Bohemoth gains the advantage! Wall is dazed and confused as Bohemoth grabs him and whips him into the ropes—Wall reverses—Bohemoth goes over the top rope and onto the floor when PRL grabs the top rope! HOWEVER, Bohemoth lands on his feet! PRL Oh no! COLE PR didn't want that! Bohemoth grabs PRL's throat with his bare hands! COLE Yes! Yes! But Mr. Boricua hammers him from behind, allowing PRL to escape! COLE Oh damnit! COACH And you say I'M biased? REALLY!? Mr. Boricua beats on Bohemoth, garnering boos! Soon, The Bone Thug joins in on the beating! The two Lightning Crew members beat on “The Metrosexual Monster”, causing the crowd to chant his name. “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” “BO-HE-MOTH!” COLE Bohemoth is in trouble! He's being manhandled by two men! Mr. Boricua goes for a punch—BLOCKED! Bohemoth fires off with a punch! He fires off with another one! And another one! Bohemoth spears Mr. Boricua into a barricade! He then punches him some more! COLE Bohemoth has struck back! The Lightning Crew can't seem to keep him down for long! Bo attacks Mr. Boricua, and then turns his attention to The Bone Thug, grabbing him and throwing him onto the floor! COACH Look out Bone Thug! Dammit, how do you say 'look out' in Spanish? The crowd cheers as Bohemoth stalks Bone Thug on the floor with a smile on his face. *WHAM!* PRL ATTACKS BOHEMOTH FROM BEHIND WITH THE STEEL CHAIR! COLE Again! For the third time! PRL hits Bohemoth in the back with the chair again! COACH Make that a FOURTH time, Cole! The crowd boos loudly! Bohemoth collapses onto the floor! PRL has a look of RAGE on his face as he watches Bohemoth on the ground. COLE Bohemoth is down! PRL got him with the chair again! COACH This is just a little preview of Saturday, Cole! Bohemoth is dead meat! Bohemoth slowly gets to his knees. He crawls around the ringside area, severely weaken by the chairshots. PRL makes things worst by hitting Bohemoth in the back with the chair again! COACH FIVE TIMES! That's five times, Mikey! How many men can say that they've done that before? HOW MANY!? COLE Bohemoth is in a bad way here! COACH Thanks to Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And a chair. COACH But more importantly Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And a chair. COACH Shut up, Cole. Bohemoth is only stopped for a few seconds, before he starts moving again. PRL takes this as a sign to leave running up the entrance ramp with the steel chair in his hands. Mr. Boricua and The Bone Thug follow him. COACH PRL keeps using chairs as weapons! I think he's found Bohemoth's kryptonite! COLE PRL has managed to bring Bohemoth to his knees, AGAIN! And they're still going to meet each other later on tonight! COACH The 8-Man Tag Team Match is going to be AWESOME! COLE It will be, and it is going to happen later on tonight on HeldDOWN~! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Cuban Wall walk up the entrance ramp. Cuban Wall has brought PRL his black spray-painted briefcase and the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt. PRL has the steel chair in his hands. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua smile evilly. PRL stares at Bohemoth crawling at ringside in pain. The Bone Thug also stares. Bohemoth starts to get to his feet using the ring apron for help as we go to commercials. FADE OUT The camera cuts to the backstage area where Josh “J. Math” Matthews is standing by. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is walking back to his dressing room. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R.! P.R.! Wait? “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN What is it, Josh? J. MATH P.R., I want to know...what were you thinking hitting Bohemoth with a chair? Again? Are you thinking straight? PR chuckles. THA PUERTO RICAN Am I thinking straight? Am I thinking straight!? Josh...my mind has never been clearer! I get it now! I finally get it! You see, for two years now, people have been led to believe that Bohemoth was some kind of mythical beast. That he's a machine, a monster, a cyborg, whatever! But Josh, all those people were doing were simply buying into the hype! They BELIEVED he was a monster! They BELIEVED that he was immortal! And Josh, for two years, I was one of those people. I believed that Bohemoth couldn't be stopped. I believed that Bohemoth was unbeatable. But then something happened... PRL holds up the steel chair he just used on Bohemoth. PRL I took him down. I. Took. Bohemoth. Out! I busted him open! I made him BLEED! I DID IT! ME! THA PUERTO RICAN! And then, suddenly, the hype was gone. The myth had disappeared. And I finally realized something. Bohemoth isn't a god! He isn't a monster! No! Bohemoth is human! And humans can be hurt. Humans can be feel pain. Humans...can bleed. And I did all those things to Bohemoth. And I intend to do more of the same this Saturday night on OAOAST Syndicated when I put my OAOAST X-Division Title on the line against him one-on-one! Bohemoth is in for the fight of his life this Saturday! If he thinks I'm just gonna roll over and die, HE'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! For it will be ME who does the killing this Saturday! I've drawn first blood, and on OAOAST Syndicated in two days, I will draw last blood. IF BOHEMOTH CAN BLEED, BOHEMOTH CAN DIE! PRL walks away, bumping Josh Matthews while doing so. The crowd boos. COLE PRL set to defend his X-Division Title for the first time against Bohemoth this Saturday night on OAOAST Syndicated in primetime! But later tonight, PRL will lead The Lightning Crew into battle against a team that features Bohemoth in addition to Zack Malibu, Caboose, and Jamie O'Hara! What an 8-Man Tag Team Match that's going to be! Edited April 27, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2007 (edited) When we return we're shown a full view of the "fantastic" Omaha cityscape, while Cole talks over the image. COLE Folks, welcome to the highest rated show in Sports Entertainment, oaoast HeldDOWN. I personally can not wait for Syndicated this weekend, please check your local listings to find out the exact time and date, I wouldn't anyone to miss what will be another amazing OAOAST production. We're transported backstage into the locker room area (never got that phrase, either it's the locker room or it ain't) where Bohemoth is busy lacing up his boots ready for the big 8-Man Tag Team Match later on tonight. Bo barely looks up as Josh Matthews walks in with a microphone at the ready, looking less then enthused about his latest job. MATTHEWS Er... Bo. Can we get a few words? Bo finishes up the knot before looking up. Just above the customary orange-tinted sunglasses is a heavy bandage on his forehead. MATTHEWS Last week, you fell victim to a chairshot from PRL for the second week in a row. PR seems to be pretty apologetic about both incidents, but you'll be facing him on Saturday night for the X-Division Championship nonetheless. Your thoughts? BOHEMOTH If PRL's apologising, it's because he knows that he's made the biggest mistake of his natural life. Lowering his sunglasses, Bo glares into the camera. BOHEMOTH Usually when someone hits me with a chair, they don't live to see a second chance. PRL better be grateful he made it this far. Because whether it's tonight or whether it's Saturday night, his ass is mine. And seeing as his hired help took my 24/7 Championship... his belt'll be mine as well. Bohemoth goes back to the pressing concern of his laces, not noticing that another person has entered the room. This person just happens to be decked out in baggy tracksuit pants and an equally baggy vesttop. And although his face is hid by a fitted Reebok cap, it's clear that it's JAMIE O'HARA barging his way past Matthews. O'HARA OI! You don't ave'ta worry 'bout Cuban Wall no more geezer. Coz after Sat'rday, that 24/7 belt's gonna be the property of the big J-OH~! BOHEMOTH Like the other stuff you steal? O'HARA Wot!? BOHEMOTH That's what you people do, right? O'Hara's lip curls as he thinks about taking a swipe at Bohemoth. Until, that is, Bo stands up with his laces dealt with. O'HARA Wot the fuck's that supposed to mean, prick? I ain't the bloody Repo Man! Naw son, I'm'a kick Cuban Wall's arse and I'm'a take that title, like you couldn't! You got a problem wi' that! Eh? Eh? BOHEMOTH Did you just call me 'son'? O'HARA Wot of it? BOHEMOTH Listen, if you wanna team me with me tonight, I suggest you shut your yapper. Otherwise, you'll end up like you did last time we teamed up. Flat on your face covered in blood. (Bo puts his glasses back on) But, for the record... good luck on Saturday. O'HARA Yeh... yeh, you too, I guess. That PRL's an even bigger prick than you. Bo manages a smile as he walks off out of the locker room, O'Hara left standing around realising that this isn't actually his locker room as we fade to something else. And that something else would be the announce team... COLE I don't know how those two are going to manage to be in the same ring tonight, but we'll find out in just a few short moments, as our mainevent is coming up next! COMMERCIAL BREAK Gay? Bi ? Curious? Get your dick sucked and ass licked, in private or while a friend watches. White guys and Asians, ages 18-27 e-mail Pierce Coburn at [email protected]. And when we return from commercial break it appears that the participants in tonight's mainevent have already found their way into the ring during the commercial interruptions. The fans are of course exuberant with joy and excitement as they await the epic showdown to begin. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and on opposite sides of the ring, it's opposite stories really. On the one side, it seems like Caboose, Zack, O'Hara and Bohemoth are all more than happy to elect themselves to start the match. On the other? Well, let's just say everybody apart from Cuban Wall is already on the apron. Upon seeing Wall ready to go, O'Hara shoo's everyone else onto the apron. Which doesn't go down too well with Bohemoth, who points the Birmingham Bad Boy to the apron himself and glares down at him until O'Hara begrudgingly does exit, mumbling to himself as he shrugs past Bo. COLE If Bohemoth says he wants to start, if I'm... well anybody really, Bo is starting. So, it will be Bohemoth and Cuban Wall to kick it off here, the current and former 24/7 Champions. Bohemoth and Wall go nose to nose in the centre of the ring, before suddenly locking horns like two bulls, collar and elbow tie-up. The two bigmen jockey for position for a few seconds before breaking with neither gaining an advantage. So, they try again. Again the two men battle for supremacy over the collar and elbow lock-up, taking each other into a neutral corner. Wall is backed up against the buckles and the referee calls for a clean break. Bohemoth seems willing to oblige, but Cuban Wall shows typical disrespect for the rules as he throws a right hand...DUCKED! Bohemoth ducks the punch and as Wall turns around, he takes a right from Bo! Another! Another! And another, Bohemoth fighting his way out of the neutral corner and creating room to hit the ropes. With a full head of steam, Bo comes flying back with a shoulder tackle, which actually knocks the 24/7 Champion off his feet! COLE Bohemoth, all impact, all the time. And uh-oh... Suddenly, after hitting that shoulder block, Bohemoth is no longer interested in the man who took his 24/7 Title. Instead Bo's eyes lock on PRL, pointing a menacing finger at the X-Division Champion and making his way over to The Lightning Crew corner! Understandably, PRL freaks out and bails off the apron... ...just as Wall sneaks up on Bo and clubs him down from behind with a double axehandle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A bit of a loss of focus from the usual ice-cool Meterosexual Monster. And he paid for it right there. Wall clubs Bohemoth a couple more times as PRL continues to hang on the outside. Unaffected by all this, Wall sends Bohemoth off the ropes and knocks him down with a Big Boot, dropping down looking for the quick cover... 1... 2... Kickout. "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" The crowd waste no time getting on Tha Puerto Rican's back now that he's at their level, Vitamin X turning around to protest with his Lightning Crew leader. Pulling Bohemoth up to his feet meanwhile, Wall again looks for an irish whip. However, a reversal causes PRL to hesitate over re-taking his position on the apron, as Bo first misses with a clothesline, but on the second attempt he meets Cuban Wall coming off the ropes, dropping him with a big Size 16 to the face! COLE Big, big Yakuza Kick! COACH That's kinda a dumb name. Because I'm sure when the Yakuza are after you they all run off a set of imaginary ropes and kick you in the face. COLE It's a kick in the face Coach, it doesn't need an accurate name. Bohemoth again turns his attentions to Tha Puerto Rican. But, rightly assuming that his chances of getting his hands on PRL under his own power this early are slim, he leaves him with a warning look before going over to his corner, where O'Hara finally gets the tag. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE And our first preview of Syndicated coming up! Shuffling down the apron, O'Hara grips hold of the top rope, waiting on Wall to get back to his feet. Now back on the apron, PR joins Vitamin X in warning their fellow Lightning Crew member to watch out. But it does him little good, as Wall lumbers around right into the path of O'Hara and a Springboard Spinning Wheel Kick! Already shaken up, Wall gets knocked off his feet by the hundred, seventy pound Englishman, who takes confidence from that move and fearlessly encourages Wall to get back to his feet again. COACH Jamie's already doing better tonight than he did last week... As Wall reaches his feet, the still fearless O'Hara runs headlong at him... and directly into a huge Haymaker from the big Cuban which almost turns him completely inside out!! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ...well, he was. COACH A lesson to all you kids out there, don't pick on people who are bigger than you. Pick on the runts. That's their place in life. COLE ... Still smarting a little from being knocked down moments ago, the growling Wall looks set to make O'Hara pay a little more. However, he's soon put back into line by Tha Puerto Rican, who pulls rank and demands the tag. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE And of course, now PRL wants in, with Bohemoth out and a prone opponent to work over. What a guy! PRL enters to a torrent of boos, swaggering over and laying in some shaky leg kicks on The Birmingham Bad Boy. He doesn't dare tease or taunt Bohemoth for fear of pissing him off. Or, pissing him off any more than he already has at least. Instead he concentrates on O'Hara, hauling him to his feet by his vesttop and landing a big Rock style punch. Only PR's grip on his baggy clothing keeps Jamie from going down, pulled upright again for a second Rock punch. Putting the badmouth on O'Hara, PRL then ducks behind, taking him up and down with a crisp Back Suplex. That puts J-OH in perfect position for PR to run the ropes, coming to a theatrical stop as he dusts off the shoulder and executes the always impressive Five Knuckle Shuffle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" In an effort to show just how 'street' he is, PRL adopts some various b-boy poses over O'Hara's fallen body. To her credit, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez manages to hide her shame. "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" "P - R - SUCKS!" COLE You know, for a Puerto Rican, PRL is amazingly white. COACH Well, that's the pot calling the kettle black. Or, white, I guess. Finally remembering that a wrestling match entails wrestling and not just posing, PRL finally snaps back into the real world and makes the tag to Vitamin X. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE A typically 'warm' reception for The X-Man here in Nebraska. Together X and PRL send O'Hara off the ropes with a double irish whip, locking hands and cutting him down with a double clothesline on his way back. Vitamin X shows his own lack of street cred as he then does the Shane O-Mac Shuffle to celebrate, almost drawing Caboose into the ring, if not for Zack holding him back. X takes great joy in taunting his opponent in just two days as he feeds his jaw, daring 'Boose to come in and take a free shot. Again Zack has to keep Caboose from losing his cool and he's left to remind The X-Man, "2 more days hotshot". Smirking, X just shrugs Caboose off and goes back after O'Hara... ...who has recovered enough to surprise X with a Jawbreaker! COACH Oh! COLE Boy, what a shame it'd be if Vitamin X had to have his jaw wired shut. COACH Don't joke about stuff like that! Away staggers The X-Man, as The J-Man (?) gets a sudden energy surge and darts at X, catching him AGAIN in the jaw, this time with a Busaiku Knee Kick! How can you kick with your knee? I dunno, ask KENTA. Point is, O'Hara does it and almost knocks Vitamin X's head off his shoulders in the process! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Many more shots like that and Vitamin X might not even make it to Syndicated on Saturday! COLE Getting the excuses ready early, I see. Still relatively fresh, X is able to direct himself to his corner pretty quickly, albeit noticeably groggy. X reaches out for the tag, and it's Tha Puerto Rican who accepts the tag. However, as PRL darts in to get back on the attack on O'Hara, he comes to a screeching halt, as he sees the tag on the other side and the first introduction to the match for Zack Malibu! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Woah, how about this for a pair-off! Zack Malibu and Tha Puerto Rican, two men so synonimous with the OAOAST! Holding up his hands in an attempt to get Zack to hold up a second, it's clear PRL isn't too eager to pit his wits against the OAOAST's Poster Child. He calls a timeout, as Zack just stands in his corner, shoulders bowed forward, waiting for PRL to quit goofing around and get down to some action. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Zack waves his hands encouraging the fans in Omaha to chant even louder than they already were to begin with. This atmosphere doesn't seem to agree with Tha Puerto Rican though. And with his eyes darting around the arena, he decides to tag out to The Cuban Wall, exiting the ring and throwing his hands up in disgust with the thousands in attendance. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, I guess we shouldn't be too surprised by that. "PUER - TO PU - SSY!" "PUER - TO PU - SSY!" "PUER - TO PU - SSY!" "PUER - TO PU - SSY!" COACH Now, that's uncalled for! COLE Maybe... but you've gotta admit, these people are pretty quick. COACH Quick? Sure. Classy? Nuh-uh. COLE Well, this is what started it all in a way, Zack and Cuban Wall who's match last week turned into a bit of a schmooze. Having no similar problems to his boss, Wall happily encourages Malibu on. The pace has slowed down again now as Zack and Wall circle. PRL takes a swipe at Zack, and Zack's subsquent distraction costs him as Wall clobbers him from behind with a big clothesline, sending Zack crashing forward, throat-first across the middle rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tha Puerto Rican holds his hands up 'innocently' when reprimanded by the referee, rightly telling him he didn't do anything wrong. Meanwhile Wall puts the boots to Zack, before placing one of those boots across Zack's windpipe and leaning down across the top rope! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Breaking the choke well in time, Wall now drags Zack to his feet and simply hangs him over the top rope, the ropes whiplashing Malibu right the way back into the centre of the ring! Momentum sends Malibu rolling through and to his feet. Which does him no good, as Wall follows up with another clothesline to drop The Franchise, for a cover... 1... 2... No! Wall pushes Zack back down onto his shoulders and placing his forearm across the handsome prep's nose, destroying the dreams of thousands of young girls (sanctity of marriage my BUTT!) by grinding it swiftly and sharply to the side! And a second time! And a third, trying to shred Zack's face like cheese through a cheese grater! Climbing back up, Wall then turns and shoves Jamie O'Hara off the apron, for no real reason other than to lure the hotheaded youngster into the ring while Vitamin X sneaks in and KNEEDROPS ZACK IN THE CROTCH!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Welp, looks like Jenna's gonna wind up an only child. COLE Is Cuban Wall the only man on this team who can fight someone face to face!? I mean, come on already! To both The Bone Thug and PRL's delight, Zack writhes in agony as X offers up a handshake and Wall... well, Wall punches X in the face. Hey, it's what he does. VITAMIN X OW! X meekly leaves the ring, although by now he's getting quite used to his tag partner punching him in the jaw so he doesn't seem too concerned about it. Meanwhile, Wall is again on the attack but this time on his opponent as he drops a big leg on Malibu, keeping it there until the referee finally rejoins the action and counts the fall... 1... 2... Kickout! "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" The Omaha crowd attempt to make themselves a tenth man in this match and get behind Zack, as Wall roughly hauls him back to his feet and manhandles him back into a neutral corner. Pinned in the corner, Zack gets clubbed in the chest with a forearm. Wall then starts throwing soupbones all over The Franchise's body, despite the best protests of the referee to get out of the corner. All in due time, as eventually the barrage of punches ends and Wall whips Zack across the ring into the opposite corner of the ring. Zack nestles in the corner and finds himself stuck in the path of the Cuban Expressway, Wall thundering in after The Franchise... COACH CHOO CHOO! ...but Wall crashes into the buffers, aka the feet of Zack Malibu! Two boots in the chest send Wall stumbling back a few steps but he makes another move forward, only to take the boots again, this time getting caught in the side of the head. As the 24/7 Champion staggers backwards, Zack then hops to the middle rope and wears out the soles of his boots a little more with a Missile Dropkick off the 2nd floor to take Wall down! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Zack picks Cuban Wall up. He punches the OAOAST 24/7 Champion in the face several times, and then whips him into the ropes. Zack goes for a clothesline, but Wall ducks, bounces off the ropes, and flies with a flying clothesline knocking the Pissed Off Prep down! COLE Cuban Wall leaping off his feet with that move! COACH Get him, Wall! Show him what you got! Cuban Wall gets up, a smirk on his face. He bounces off the ropes once again, and hits Malibu with a legdrop! The crowd groans. Wall goes for the cover. 1...2...RIGHT SHOULDER UP! COACH He had him! He almost had him! Wall glares menacingly at Nick Patrick. But he's not one to complain (much), so he moves on, looking at The Lightning Crew corner for a partner to tag. The other 3 members of The LC have their hands out, so Wall walks over and makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican! COLE And here we go! Zack Malibu and Tha Puerto Rican in the ring for the first time ever! The crowd responds with a mixture of boos and cheers as they greatly anticipate some physical contact between the two men unlike before. PRL walks with a swagger in his step and chuckles at Malibu's predicament. A LOUD “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up, which annoys The Corporate Champ. PRL SHUT UP! SHUT UP-A YA FACE! Tha Puerto Rican threatens violence to various members of the crowd, and then returns his attention to Malibu, lifting his left foot up and bringing it back down on Zack's face! He does another shaky leg kick to Malibu, before walking back over to his corner and tagging in The Bone Thug. This makes the crowd boo more! COLE That's it? We waited all this time for that!? COACH Hey, P.R.'s just saving his energy, is all! COLE I think PR just wants to get away from Zack as quick as possible, because he can return to his feet at any second! COACH Nonsense! What makes you think such gibberish? The Bone Thug continues where his cousin left off, stomping on Zack Malibu's body. Bone Thug picks Zack up and hammers him with right jabs to the face! “MAL-I-BU!” “MAL-I-BU!” “MAL-I-BU!” “MAL-I-BU!” COACH Look at this! The newest member of The Lightning Crew is in control of a former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Doesn't this prove how great Bone Thug is? COLE The Bone Thug has impressed us greatly since he debuted back in February. COACH He's the future, Cole! I know he is! Bone Thug whips Zack Malibu into a neutral corner. Thug then walks on over to the opposite corner. COACH Uh-oh! Look out! Bone Thug charges forward...and NAILS Zack with a TURNBUCKLE YAKUZA KICK~! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” PRL, Cuban Wall, and Vitamin X applaud The Bone Thug. Bone Thug makes the tag to Cuban Wall. Wall enters the ring and demands that Bone Thug throw Zack to him. He does. Cuban Wall hoists The Franchise up in a fallaway slam position. Wall walks around the ring with Zack in his hands for a little bit, and then charges forward, hitting Zack's back against a turnbuckle corner! CW then charges forward again, this time heading to the opposite corner where Zack's back once again meets the turnbuckle! Wall then decides to head over to The Lightning Crew corner, where Zack's back meets a similar fate. Finally, Cuban Wall runs over to the babyface corner, where he makes sure Zack Malibu's back hits the turnbuckle for a fourth time. Cuban Wall finishes this off with a powerslam! Wall goes for the cover! It gets two. COACH Cuban Wall is showing Zack Malibu why he has his name! COLE The Lightning Crew has the advantage so far as they hope to score a major victory two days away from OAOAST Syndicated! CW is annoyed that that wasn't the finish. Zack is now groggy following the abuse at the hands of Wall. Cuban Wall stands up and picks Malibu up by his blond locks. Cuban Wall scoops Zack up, and gives him a bodyslam onto the mat! COLE A bodyslam from THAT man must hurt like hell! COACH You ain't kidding. You should try it sometime! Cuban Wall picks Zack Malibu up again. “ZACK!” “ZACK!” “ZACK!” “ZACK!” Cuban Wall punches Zack in the face. He measures him up, and punches him again! Wall with another punch—BLOCKED! Zack punches Wall in the face! He punches him again and again and again bringing the crowd to life! COLE Zack might be mounting the comeback! Cuban Wall punches Zack! Zack punches back! Back and forth they go, engaging in a slugfest in the middle of the ring! Zack gains the advantage, punching Wall towards the ropes! The crowd gets louder and louder with each punch, until Zack rolls through and tags in Caboose, which nearly causes the roof to explode! COLE And Caboose is in this match! Business is picking up! Caboose immediately attacks Cuban Wall, beating up the big man with rights and lefts! The punches stagger the big man, but do not make him fall. 'boose grabs Cuban Wall by his left hand and whips him into a neutral corner. Caboose charges forward and hits Cuban Wall with a clothesline! 'boose then grabs Wall by his head, and brings him down with a bulldog! COLE He brought him down! Caboose has brought down the 6'7” big man! COACH Oh crap! Don't let that old man show you up, Wall! You're bigger! Eat him alive! Caboose makes the tag to Jamie O'Hara! J-OH quickly climbs the top rope. COLE Look out, J-OH's gonna fly! This won't be good for Cuban Wall! J-OH positions himself on the top turnbuckle, and then soars off, hitting Wall with an impressive 630 Splash! COLE 630 Splash! How many people in this world can do that? Jamie O'Hara covers Cuban Wall. COLE Is this a preview of Syndicated this Saturday? 1... 2... 3 PRL kicks Jamie O'Hara in the back of his head! COACH Nice save by The Corporate Champ! PRL stomps on J-OH's back, and then picks him up. Jamie O'Hara fires with right hands to the face of Tha Puerto Rican! COACH AAH! What are you doing!? COLE He's fighting in this match, that's what! COACH Stop fighting! “The Birmingham Bad Boy” continues beating on “The Corporate Champion” in a 'rematch' from October's OAOAST Syndicated. O'Hara gives PRL an Irish whip—PRL reverses---J-OH reverses, and hits PRL with a Busaiku Knee Kick! COLE Busaiku Knee Kick by Jamie O'Hara! PRL crumbles to the mat, holding his left knee in pain. J-OH returns to Cuban Wall, picking the “Muscle” of The Lightning Crew up. He hits Wall with some left hands, and then bounces off the ropes right into a goozle~! COACH Yes! Yes! Do it Wall! But J-OH frantically kicks Cuban Wall in the gut, breaking the chokehold! O'Hara continues kicking Cuban Wall in the gut, and then bounces off the ropes-- --WHICH PRL HAS PULLED DOWN! Jamie O'Hara flies over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE And oh my! Jamie O'Hara took a nasty spill right there! COACH That was a NASTY spill! Just plain NASTY! The crowd boos loudly. Jamie O'Hara is in an awkward position on the outside, looking like an accordion. PRL, Vitamin X, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Stephen Joseph Popick, and Cuban Wall laugh manically. The Bone Thug just looks on. COLE Jamie O'Hara is on the outside! The tides may be shifting! Who's gonna come out the winner? “The Birmingham Bad Boy” Jamie O'Hara starts to get up as we take a break. Commercial break We return to HeldDOWN~! with Vitamin X giving Jamie O'Hara a snap suplex, and then making the tag to Tha Puerto Rican. COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, during the break, The Lightning Crew has remained in control, cutting Jamie O'Hara away from his corner! COACH That's wrestling 101, Mikey Cole! You gotta isolate the guy! THAT is how you get the pinfall! COLE Unless you're The Lightning Crew. Then cheating will do just fine! COACH Let's not start that again, Cole! PRL stomps on J-OH with his shaky leg kicks. A “P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up. PRL picks O'Hara up and gives him some European Uppercuts. PRL then hits O'Hara with some CLUBBEIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms. PRL then applies a facelock on O'Hara, but turns it into a vertical suplex. He rolls through, and hits Jamie with another vertical suplex! He rolls through again and lifts O'Hara up for a third vertical suplex, but this time, he simply holds him up in the air. COLE PRL going for one of his signature moves! PR holds O'Hara up in the air with one hand. He uses the other hand to do the “You can't see me!” hand gesture. P.R. walks to the ring ropes, drops O'Hara's stomach onto the top ring rope, and hits the slingshot suplex to complete the Corporate Trifecta. Afterwards, PRL applauds himself for a job well done. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Wonderful. Absolutely splendid. TPR rolls through and makes the tag to Cuban Wall. Wall is cocky and confident as he enters the ring and picks J-OH up by his white vest top and baggy Nike tracksuit pants. Cuban Wall punches Jamie O'Hara squared in the nose! He does it again for good measure. The crowd is rooting for Jamie O'Hara to make the comeback, while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Princess Stacey and Popick nod in approval of Wall's work. COACH Cuban Wall is gonna knock Jamie O'Hara's head right off his shoulders! COLE He's hurting him so much that might actually happen! Cuban Wall gives J-OH an Irish whip into the ropes. He follows with a big boot. Cuban Wall goes for the cover! 1...2...KICK OUT! Cuban Wall silently mouths, “Damnit!” He then picks J-OH up. “J-OH!” *CLAP CLAP* “J-OH!” *CLAP CLAP* “J-OH!” *CLAP CLAP* “J-OH!” *CLAP CLAP* Wall drags J-OH by his hair over to The Lightning Crew corner where he makes the tag to The Bone Thug. Wall holds O'Hara in place, and Bone Thug kicks him in his stomach. Bone Thug punches J-OH in the face, scratching his eyes at one point! COLE Now come on! Bone Thug grabs Jamie O'Hara's right hand and twists it in an arm wringer. He then kicks J-OH in the face! Bone Thug curses out the lanky Brit in Spanish. Thug picks Jamie O'Hara up again and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. When J-OH returns, Bone Thug grabs him, lifts him up in the air, and lets him fall, but J-OH happens to land right on Bone Thug's left knee! “OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Say goodnight, J-OH! HA HA HA HA! The Bone Thug rushes over and taunts Caboose, Zack Malibu, and Bohemoth. He then runs over and makes the tag to Vitamin X! The response is overwhelming negative. COACH Show some respect for Prince Vitamin! Vitamin X enters the ring and does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle just to piss off the fans. He waits for J-OH to get up. COACH Oh yeah. He's feeling it. He's feeling it. COLE The Lightning Crew doing a number on Jamie O'Hara! Vitamin X taunts O'Hara while Princess Stacey cheers him on. When O'Hara gets up, VX socks him with a right hand. Then another! X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and then hits J-OH with a third right hand, knocking him down! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Prince Vitamin goes for the cover. ONE! TWO! THRE—TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE Only a two count! Only a two count! VITAMIN X Come on ref! COLE Caboose staring a hole into Vitamin X! These two men will meet in a No Holds Barred Falls Count Anywhere Match this Saturday night on OAOAST Syndicated! COACH In 2 days, Prince Vitamin will slay the legend of Caboose! VX picks Jamie O'Hara up and whips him into the ropes. Dropkick! X goes for the cover. It gets two. The X-Man makes the tag to Tha Puerto Rican, doing so by doing a handshake that's so un-'street' it's unintentionally hilarious. COACH PR and Vitamin X are born thugs. COLE PR stomps on J-OH some more, using regular stomps this time. PRL grabs Jamie O'Hara by his head and runs with him toward the ropes. Once near the ropes, PRL jumps over the top and onto the floor while still holding on to J-OH's head. This causes O'Hara's neck to bounce off the top rope and J-OH falls to the mat! The Ricochet! COLE The Ricochet from Tha Puerto Rican! P.R. quickly runs up the ring steps and enters the ring. He waits for O'Hara to get up. Once J-OH is on his knees, P.R. rushes forward, leaping over J-OH, grabbing his head, and giving him a reverse necksnap on the way down! The Lightning Shock! COLE Oh my~! The Lightning Shock! PRL doing severe damage to that neck! PRL covers Jamie O'Hara, hooking his left leg. ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! COLE A close nearfall there! COACH Come on P.R.! You've got him! Go in for the kill! “J-OH!” “J-OH!” “J-OH!” “J-OH!” TPR mocks the crowd for cheering for J-OH. He spits in their general direction. The CORPORATE OAOAST X-Division Champion picks SuperJay up. He measures O'Hara, and then blasts him with a Rock-style punch to the temple. P.R.L. keeps on with the Rock punches, dazing the one-time OAOAST X-Division Champion. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! BLOCKED! J-OH fires off with a punch! J-OH fires off with another punch! He keeps on punching and punching! And punching and punching! PRL punches back! J-OH returns the favor! COLE Jamie O'Hara might be feeling a second wind here! J-OH's punches rock The Corporate Champion! SuperJay does the “Come an' 'ave a go if you think you're 'ard enough!” gesture. He then gives PRL a whip into the ropes—NO--PRL reverses—J-OH bounces off the ropes. SPINNNNEEEEEEEEEEBUSSSSSSSSTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH~!!!! COACH Yes! Yes! Here it comes! COLE P.R. could be going for the IntenseZone Elbow! Indeed Cole, he is! The crowd stands up and boos, although there are cheers for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling. PR runs his mouth as he walks on over to where Jamie O'Hara is lying in the center of the ring. P.R. kicks Jamie's right hand onto his chest. He then removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and then throws it down onto Jamie's face. P.R. does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over J-OH, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. COACH It's now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, the IntenseZone Elbow! PR stops in his tracks, points a menacing finger at Caboose, Zack Malibu, and Bohemoth, threatening to “lay the smackdown on all y'all candy-asses!” and then drops his right elbow onto Jamie O'Hara's body! COLE The IntenseZone Elbow! Could that be all? COACH Yes! Yes! PRL goes for the cover, hooking both of J-OH's legs! 1! 2! 3! KICK OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT~!!!! COACH WHAT!? THAT WASN'T IT! COLE Jamie O'Hara kicked out of the IntenseZone Elbow! COACH How could that be!? That was a slow count! COLE No it wasn't, Coach! COACH It was, I saw it! Somebody bring Thomas Rodriguez out here! He knows how to referee a match! PRL can't believe it either. But Nick Patrick only raises two fingers. The other 3 Lightning Crew members are pissed, while Zack, Caboose, and Bohemoth look on intently. Tha Puerto Rican looks at his Lightning Crew, and they all motion for him to continue the match. COACH All right, NOW it's PERSONAL! COLE Oh please shut up. PRL picks Jamie O'Hara up. A “J-OH!” chant starts up. PRL trash talks O'Hara when he gets up. O'Hara is having trouble maintaining his balance, standing on spaghetti legs now. P.R. reminds J-OH that he “Can't see him!” PRL cradles Jamie up, giving him a DDT! COLE PRL with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! PRL with the cover! 1...2...Two count! PRL slaps the mat in frustration. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Don't get frustrated, baby! COACH Yeah, listen to your woman, P.R.! Boy, what I would give for some of that ass! COLE Your job? Your house? Your dignity? Oh wait, you don't have any of that! PR picks the weakened Jamie O'Hara up, taunting him and chuckling while doing so. PRL applies an abdominal stretch on J-OH! Popick approves of this. COLE PRL now really wrenching the back of Jamie O'Hara! The crowd tries to bring Jamie O'Hara back to life, but nothing seems to be working. P.R. cinches the hold tight. Nick Patrick checks on O'Hara. When he asks him if he gives up, J-OH responds with “Hell naw, dawg!” COLE PRL and Jamie O'Hara in the ring again for the first time since October of last year on an edition of OAOAST Syndicated where PRL defeated O'Hara by pulling on his tights! And at the time, we all thought PRL had changed for the better...but we would soon find out the truth. COACH Truly a great moment in his career. Zack Malibu slaps the top turnbuckle pad to get the crowd to clap in unison. It works, not surprisingly. PR taunts J-OH while applying the abdominal stretch. Then, P.R. holds hands with Vitamin X, which actually makes the abdominal stretch WORST for O'Hara! COLE Now come on! PRL and Vitamin X doing some cheating! Why isn't the ref stopping this? COACH They're not cheating, they're just holding hands! PRL loves Vitamin X...in a completely platonic way of course. Caboose can't stand to see Vitamin X cheat, so he enters the ring and attacks Vitamin X, knocking him off the ring apron! The crowd cheers! Nick Patrick holds Caboose back and scolds him for coming into the ring illegally. As Nick Patrick takes Caboose back to his corner, PRL sends Jamie O'Hara to The Lightning Crew corner where he proceeds to lay the smackdown on him! At the same time, The Bone Thug enters the ring and together, the two cousins stomp a mudhole in J-OH! Cuban Wall punches O'Hara from the ring apron too! The crowd boos! COLE The Lightning Crew using their gang tactics once again! COACH Hey, they're just taking advantage of the situation! No need to get your panties in a wad over it! COLE It's not right, and I wear thongs, thank you very much! COACH *Shudders* PR nails O'Hara with Rock-style punches to the temple. Zack Malibu and Bohemoth try to tell Nick Patrick what just happened, but by the time he turns around, PRL is the only one in the ring attacking Jamie O'Hara! COACH Hee hee, PRL's got this in the bag! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican tags in The Bone Thug. Bone Thug quickly pulls J-OH out from the turnbuckle and punches him in the face, busting his nose! COLE Oh no. J-OH's nose might be broken! As blood starts coming out from Jamie O'Hara's nostrils, The Bone Thug strikes the former OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Champion with rights and lefts! *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Bone Thug whips Jamie O'Hara into the ropes. Thug goes for a clothesline. O'Hara ducks, stops in his tracks. *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Bone Thug pokes Jamie O'Hara in his eyes! Bone Thug bounces off the ropes, and hits O'Hara with a step-up enziguiri! COLE Wow! What a shot! COACH If I knew Spanish, I would tell Bone Thug 'Marvelous! You're doing a great job!' O'Hara lies on the mat, holding his head and bloodied nose. The Bone Thug sneers at J-OH and says, “Repugnante poco pinchazo” which means “Nasty little prick” in Spanish. Bone Thug makes the tag to Cuban Wall to boos. COACH Oh yeah, the big guy's in this match again! COLE Oh boy. Jamie O'Hara's taken enough punishment in this match as it is! COACH There's no limit to how much you can punish Jamie O'Hara, Cole. COLE Oh will you stop? “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” PRL motions to kick a fans' ass at ringside. Cuban Wall has a cocky smirk on his face as he enters the ring. CW lifts Jamie O'Hara up by his white vest top. Wall measures him up, and then punches him in the nose! O'Hara holds his already busted nose in pain. Cuban Wall then grabs O'Hara by his right arm and whips him into the ropes. O'Hara bounces off the ropes, and Wall follows with a Bossman Slam! Wall makes the cover. COLE 1! 2! No! COACH J-OH got KO'd on that one! The LC are tossing him around like a ragdoll! Wall pulls O'Hara up again, lifting him from under his arms and throwing him backwards into the corner! O'Hara slouches against the ropes, as they are the only thing keeping him on his feet, which is unfortunate since that enables Wall to crush him with a corner clothesline! Pleased with his actions, the rest of the Crew egg Wall on, while O'Hara's teammates watch on as their partner is decimated by the brutish 24/7 Champion. COLE O'Hara is in a bad way, and unless he can get to his corner, this can't end well! Wall pulls the near-lifeless high flyer out of the corner, and sets him up for a powerbomb. He easily lifts the youngster into the air, but O'Hara shows signs of life, frantically punching Wall as he's pulled up onto his shoulders! Wall staggers, trying to keep hold of O'Hara, but the punches serve their purpose, as O'Hara falls to the mat, landing on his feet, barely able to catch himself from falling! He rocks Wall with forearm shots, then tries a kick to the stomach, but finds his leg grabbed...only to follow up with an enzugiri! Wall staggers, so O'Hara blasts him with a jawbreaker, then hits the ropes...but when he does, Vitamin X kicks him in the lower back, cutting his comeback short! COLE Damn it! O'Hara stumbles forward, head dropped low, just as Wall recovers. Seeing O'Hara in a bad way, Wall again hoists him up for the powerbomb...only this time, JAMIE O'HARA SNAPS THE BIG MAN OVER WITH A HURACANRANA~!~! COACH YO~! The crowd comes alive, roaring wildly, as O'Hara starts crawling to his corner, while the Lightning Crew pick their jaws up off the floor. COLE Jamie O'Hara has got to get to his corner right now! It's do or die for the Birmingham Bad Boy! O'Hara struggles for his corner, upsetting the Crew enough that Bone Thug rushes in and drops an elbow across the back of his neck! Patrick will have none of it, and quickly ushers Thug out of the ring, giving him a stern warning as the fans also let him know what they thought of that move. Thug protests as he's sent back to the apron, as do the rest of the crew, making sure to keep Patrick caught up in their nonsense as Jamie recovers, crawling to the corner and tagging in CABOOSE! COACH He got the tag, and our boy 'Boose is in! The crowd explodes, as the OAOAST Original bursts into the ring, rocking a barely recovered Wall with a series of hard right hands...but when Nick Patrick turns around, he pushes Caboose aside and orders him out of the ring! Caboose glares at Patrick, but Patrick reminds him that he never saw a tag, and O'Hara needs to remain in the ring! COLE Come ON Patrick, deep down you have to know that you just got played! COACH Considering what he goes through with women, I don't know about that. COLE This...this is different, Coach! COACH You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? Caboose reluctantly gets back on the apron, while Wall brings O'Hara to the center of the ring and pounds him across the back with forearms before leading him to the LC corner and tagging in PRL! The leader of the crew steps into the ring and delivers a kick to O'Hara's ribs while he's held by Wall, then snapmares him over and wrenches on his neck. COLE Now that the dirty work is done, here comes the fearless leader to take over! COACH Sarcastic much, Mikey? I think I'm starting to rub off on you. PRL works the neck, looking at the fan favorites corner and sneering while the crowd rallies behind Jamie. Before a comeback can be mounted, PRL picks Jamie up and hits a scoop slam...or at least that's what he tries to do, as Jamie slips out behind him and shoves him to the ropes, nailing him with a great dropkick as he comes back at him! Jamie hobbles towards his corner, as Tha Puerto Rican rolls to his feet, holding his jaw. He lunges for Jamie, but O'Hara leaps forward, diving towards his corner and slapping one of the extended hands of his teammates... ...TAGGING ZACK MALIBU~! COACH Oooooooooooooooooh boy. The crowd ROARS as Malibu slingshots over the ropes and approaches the X Division Champion, who is wishing his was anywhere except in the position he now finds himself in. Malibu approaches as PRL attemtps to beg off, but then he takes a cheapshot at the former World Champion! Malibu blocks the shot and fires back, delivering a trilogy of right hands before sending PRL into the ropes and catching him on the rebound with an inverted atomic drop, and follows up with a discus clothesline that sends him to the canvas! The crowd goes WILD (especially a fan made up in Insane Clown Posse facepaint, weilding a WE LOVE ZACK sign and the black man next to him pumping his fists wildly) as Malibu works them up even more! Seeing the boss in a bad way, the rest of the crew charge into the ring at Zack, but Malibu is a house of fire, nailing everyone in sight! Bone Thug gets nailed, and then Zack takes him by the head and leads him across the ring, hurling him out to the floor at the feet of Stephen Joseph! Bohemoth rushes into the ring and nails Vitamin X with a clothesline, sending him over the ropes and to the floor as well, while Caboose and O'Hara nail a double clothesline that topples the big Wall over the ropes as well! COLE They're clearing out the crew, and it's just Zack Malibu and Tha Puerto Rican now! It's mayhem on the floor, as both teams brawl around ringside! The women of the Crew (and Popick, although you can lump him in with them I guess ) get involved as well, trying to use the numbers against the babyfaces. In the ring is where the real focus is though, as Tha Puerto Rican staggers to his feet, only to be taken by Malibu into a German Su...NO! PRL floats over and quickly spins Zack around, hitting him with a Northern Lights suplex! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Edited April 27, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2007 PRL brings Zack up and drives a knee into his stomach, then wrenches his arm and pulls him backwards to the mat with a Russian legsweep. COLE The X Division Champion has Zack in a bad way right now, and...wait, hold on folks! The crowd rise to their feet, as in the midst of the melee on the floor, Jamie O'Hara has hopped on the apron and scrambled to the top rope, unbeknownst to anyone, friend or foe! COACH O'Hara's gonna FLY! Jamie readies himself, and then takes to the air like a jet airliner, twisting his body in ways thought unimaginable as he crashes on top of the pile of humanity at ringside with a CORKSCREW PLANCHA FROM THE TOP~! COLE He may not be the biggest man, but gravity does the rest for him, and just helped Jamie O'Hara wipe everyone out! Bodies are scattered at ringside, and PRL can't believe it, as he pitches a fit! Bringing Malibu to his feet once again, he quickly takes him over with a vertical suplex, but hangs on and rolls through, nailing a second one! COLE We've seen this enough times to know what he's going for! PRL rolls to his feet once again, lifting Zack up...but Malibu kicks his legs so that he falls back to earth! He pushes PRL backwards into the ropes, but PRL simply rebounds, running right into Zack, causing their heads to collide! PRL falls back through the ropes to the outside, while Zack falls to his knee, holding his head! COACH A few more moments like that and Advil will beg us to let them sponsor the show! Malibu gets to his feet and shakes it off. As he comes to, he notices PRL on the floor still dazed, so he takes the opportunity to bounce off the far side, gaining speed in his step before diving through the ropes, nailing Tha Puerto Rican with a tope that lays them both out on the floor! COLE We need air traffic control out here tonight! With the two legal men out on the floor, Vitamin X gets to his feet and tosses Caboose back into the ring. X puts the boots to the legendary star, but as he lifts him up, Caboose powers up and puts X over his shoulder, cradling his head before dropping down with the EMERALD FUSION~! to leave X looking at the lights! Caboose turns and glares at the hard camera, delivering a stoic look into the lens...until he's nailed from behind by Bone Thug and sent back out to the floor! Bone Thug does a little shuffle and poses for the crowd, proud of his work...but pride turns to a sense of fear as he backs up into a much larger, much angrier athlete...namely the Metrosexual Monster himself! Thug turns around, and then gets turned inside out by a lariat from the former 24/7 Champion! Bohemoth looks to the floor and then drags the limp body of Thug off the mat, tucking his head and elevating him onto his shoulders. COLE Bo, going for an electric chair move here... Bo gets Thug up, but instead of dropping him, he keeps him on his shoulders, stepping back further away from the ropes. The cameras cut to the floor now, and Jamie O'Hara, seeing what's going on, moves to the aisleway and gets a running start. He sprints down the aisle, leaping onto the back of Cuban Wall, who is pulling himself up on the apron, and from there leaps onto the top rope, springboarding in and taking Thug off the shoulders of the well-dressed brute with a huracanrana! COACH DAMN! The crowd comes alive, giving O'Hara a standing ovation for his daredevil offense, as Bo and J-OH give each other a quick congratulatory hug. COLE A double springboard rana eliminates Thug for the time being, and have you EVER seen a man like Jamie O'Hara! This kid is crazy! Down on the floor, Malibu is starting to get to his feet, not noticing that Popick looms behind him! The most hated of the original OAOAST superstars, Popick steals the chair from announcer Michael Buffer and cocks it in his hands, waiting to strike...but at the last second, it's pulled from his grasp by Caboose! SJ turns around and comes face to face with perhaps the man who hates him the most, and as he begs off, he winds up backing right into Malibu! COLE There is no love lost between Zack and Caboose and Stephen Joseph Popick, and I don't think SJ is going to get out of this one easily! SJ turns to face Zack, and Zack doesn't hesitate for a second before cracking him with a right hand! Popick spins around due to the impact of the blow, and finds himself met with another right hand, courtesy of Caboose! COACH They're ping-pongin' Popick, playa! Popick gets rattled from the multiple shots, and then Zack and Caboose take Popick and hurl him over the railing, into the front row of fans! COLE That might be even more dangerous for Popick than getting involved in the match! The OAOAST fans DESPISE him! Malibu gives Caboose a nod, thanking him for his help, but when Malibu returns his attention to PRL, he's struck down with a low blow from the Latin superstar! PRL quickly rolls Zack back into the ring and then heads to the top, not wasting any time in leaping off the top with his patented flying legdrop variation, the Mad Cappa Crusher 2006:The Remix...AND COMES UP SHORT! Malibu rolls out of the way just in time, leaving PRL's tailbone to take the brunt of the impact rather than himself! Zack brings himself to his feet and quickly hits the German Suplex, keeping the hold applied and seguing into his rolling suplexes, nailing PRL with a second German suplex! The second is followed by a third, and when Zack brings him up yet again, he attemps the ANGLE SLAM~!...but PRL falls out of his hands and collapses in his corner, tagging in Vitamin X before he falls! COLE A narrow escape for Tha Puerto Rican, who was just about to be finished off! X enters the ring, but is quickly hiptossed over by Malibu, who then runs the ropes and nails X with a diving clothesline! Zack rolls to his corner and makes a tag to the powerhouse Bohemoth, who is all too happy to oblige! Bohemoth comes in and strikes X dead (or at least close to it) with a murderous lariat, nearly decapitating him! Once again, the Crew strikes as Wall hits the ring first, but Bo catches him and spins around, drilling him with a spinebuster! With his back turned, Bo doesn't see Bone Thug springboarding off the ropes...but just as he comes down, Malibu sprints into the ring and NAILS HIM IN MID-AIR WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT~! COACH Now THAT'S what I call a save! Bo and Zack turn around to see PRL now, debating on what to do...but finally, he rushes the ring...and gets elevated with a double back bodydrop from the stars! PRL scrambles to his feet, but Zack takes him out of the ring with a lariat, putting him on the floor...and then Caboose follows with a running splash from the apron, crushing PRL as he stares up at the lights! COLE The Lightning Crew is being taken apart here tonight on HeldDOWN~! With the crew disposed of, Bo scoops Vitamin X up...but Lindsay gets up on the apron to distract...until Jamie O'Hara hops off the apron and makes his way over! After a second of staring at her ample ass, J yanks her off the apron, then slides out of the way just in time as Princess Stacey charges, leaving the two women in a pile on the floor, which surely excites many of our male fans. COACH THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT! COLE Hands where I can see 'em, Coach! Bo takes VX in his grasp and scoops him up now, using his brute force to spin X's body outward before driving him down into the canvas with his favored finisher, The Erotic Awakening of B! Bohemoth covers, and the rest of his team keep watch, but the LC is in no position to cause a disturbance, as Nick Patrick slaps his hand on the canvas. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE It's over! What a match we've just seen! "Liberate" hits, signalling the victory not just for Bohemoth but for Malibu, O'Hara and Caboose as well. The three men enter the ring and celebrate with Bo, while Vitamin X rolls out under the bottom rope, and even that causes an ache after what he's just endured. COACH The Lightning Crew may be a formidable force in this company, but the alliance forged between the four men in the ring proved to be the strongest tonight! The crowd comes to their feet with applause, as Malibu and O'Hara jump up on the ropes, while Caboose raises his cricket bat in the air and Bohemoth poses, showing off his huge, muscular form. On the outside, the battered remains of the Lightning Crew reassemble, once again having been sent from the ring by some of the OAOAST's finest. COLE What a great match to cap us off here tonight and lead us into this Saturday. For The Coach, I'm Michael Cole, and we will see all of you this Saturday for OAOAST Syndicated! Good night, everybody! FADE OUT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 27, 2007 CREDITS lol the lakers are not as ugh as they wwere when i made that title. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
