Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 18, 2007 (edited) THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD As HeldDOWN~! begins, we are treated to...Anglesault himself! The namesake of the One and Only Anglesault Thread and President of the company is standing in front the camera, clad in an Armani suit. ANGLESAULT Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin with tonights show, I'd like to take a moment to offer explanation for certain ongoings within the company. As you all know, Zack Malibu has cashed in his Two For The Money title shot, which will take place at School's Out in just about two weeks time. Leading up to that, it was stated that World Champion Drek Stone, due to his constant disrespect of this company, its roster, and even the very championship he held, would be forced to become a fighting champion, defending the belt at numerous points leading up to his rematch with Zack Malibu. As you can see by the last few weeks of television, Drek Stone has once again been MIA from television, and this is why. Anglesault takes a deep breath, and doesn't seem happy with what he's about to say. ANGLESAULT Drek Stone, the OAOAST World Champion, took the OAOAST to court, wrapping us up in a legal battle over his rights as a member of this roster. Citing defamation of character, an unfair bias against him and towards others, namely Zack Malibu, slander, blackmail, and various other charges, Stone has tried in every way possible to cripple the OAOAST without so much as setting foot inside one of the arenas housing our shows. With the legal matter now settled, I am free to tell you that Drek Stone WILL and MUST make his scheduled match with Zack Malibu at School's Out this coming May 27th. Mr. Stone will not see action until then, but he has posted an appearance bond for the event, meaning not only must he show up, but if he does not, he will not only forfeit the OAOAST World Title to Zack Malibu, but lose $100,000 of his own money! Also, should he not show up, Mr. Stone would be guilty of breach of contract, which would enable us to bring him back to court, and prevent him from competing for any other wrestling companies no matter where their country of origin is. So, with that said, I hope I have cleared the air somewhat regarding our World Heavyweight Title scene, and hope you enjoy tonight's HeldDOWN~!. Thank you. After the strange dichotomy of such a crucial announcement coming from a man who dedicated the latter parts of his message board career to exposing the illogical nature of the “you can't see me†hand gesture sinks in the bopping sounds of Party Like a Rockstar (still haven't found a better song!) fills the audio space. Flashing onto screen is the introductory video featuring the key characters in our sports melodrama. Their names flashed across the scree, as they stand in locales specific to their personality. Once that concludes we're shown the logo.... FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, The OAOAST, and The AT&T Bricktown Ballpark it is time for HeldDOWN! We're given a wide shot of the AT&T Bricktown Ballpark. Unlike the arenas where the world's premier sports entertainment show is typically confined to, this venue is a light struck place, not dim nor gloomy or monochrome as so many of the cookie cutter buildings happen to be. Coupled with the beaming white lights and the gorgeous sunsetting sky, it glows with an alien order-a light so majestic it has the quality of a fantasy. The roaring audience appears dipped in shivery tones of orange and silver, the sunset burning the clouds above them. But enough of me reminiscing over a stadium I've never been to, let's take it to the announce team! COLE Ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us in Oklahoma City for tonight's edition of the greatest athletic spectacle on earth, OAOAST HeldDOWN! I am Michael Cole, joined as always by The Coach. Coach, we're live from a baseball stadium and it's fitting because have a real homerun of a show tonight. COACH No diggity, we started off hot with Anglesault's announcement and we keep on rolling. The main event features Leon Rodez going head to head with his old enemy Christian Wright in a street fight. That should be one hell of a brawl! Chicks Over Dicks defend their tag titles against James Blonde and Faqu. The Heavenly Rockers will be in action tonight, and Biff Atlas embarks on his new found singles career. COLE The OAOAST wishes Flex Phillips well in his future endeavors and looks forward to working with him in the future. COACH Naw, son, that nigga ain't shit. God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid makes his way out to the ring. COLE And Thunderkid set for action here on HeldDOWN~! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, hailing from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!! COLE Thunderkid, who just two weeks ago, lost the OAOAST Heartland title to Felix Strutter, who then took the belt with him to WDW! COACH And no doubt that weighs heavily on the mind of TK! BUFFER His opponent, hailing from Charleston, South Carolina, weighing in at 230 pounds...Nick Henderson! COLE Tremendous opportunity for young Nick Henderson, getting into the national spotlight taking on Thunderkid! TK and Henderson tie up, and Henderson grabs a side headlock. He digs in, but TK eventually backs him into the ropes, then pushes him off to the other side, flooring him with a shoulderblock! COACH And Henderson's not going to win that battle! Henderson backs into a corner and sizes TK up, then moves out and delivers a foot to the gut. He then goes to the eyes, and executes a bodyslam! COLE But he does as some power, as we see right here! Henderson drops an elbow, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout with AUTHORITY~! COLE But so does TK! COACH Yes, he does! Henderson moves back over and picks up TK, attempting an Irish whip. TK reverses, and lifts Henderson in the air in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE And here's some more of it! Henderson is slammed hard on his back, then clotheslined! TK executes a second clothesline, then calls out to the crowd, which cheers in response! TK follows with a belly-to-belly, then signals for the end! COLE And TK setting up young Nick Henderson! TK hooks Henderson in a front facelock...then picks him up, and drops him with the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And an impressive win for TK! BUFFER The winner of the match...THUNDERKID!!!!! TK has his hand raised by the referee, then asks Buffer for the mic. TK You know, I've done a lot of thinking over the past two weeks. Not only did I lose the Heartland title, but I lost it to a WDW wrestler. And I let down the people in the OAOAST. TK drops his head for a second, while getting a symphathetic reaction from the crowd. TK As a result, there's only one logical solution. TK pulls a ticket out of a pocket on his boot, causing the crowd to cheer. TK This Monday, I'm going to be at the World Domination Wrestling show. I'll be sitting right down there in the front row, and I'll have a big announcement to make. And I promise that when the dust has cleared, I will bring that belt back to the OAOAST! TK leaves the ring as God of Thunder plays. COLE A big announcement tonight, and another one expected this Monday from Thunderkid, he's got his sights set on getting the belt back for the OAOAST! Fans we will have more of OAOAST HeldDOWN after this commercial break. Eerie music plays as a large silhouette is shown walking across a hallway. Shots of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican are shown on the walls. The silhouette is revealed to be Bohemoth. Bo walks across another hallway. BOHEMOTH I am his bearer of bad news. Cut to a shot of PRL laughing manically. BOHEMOTH I am his angel of death. Cut to a shot of PRL taunting the fans. Cut to Bohemoth lifting weights. BOHEMOTH I am his worst nightmare. Cut to PRL walking to the ring with a swagger in his step. BOHEMOTH I am his grim reaper. Cut to Bohemoth flexing his muscles. Footage of PRL sneering at the camera is played on a wall next to Bohemoth. BOHEMOTH I am his jinx. Cut to Bohemoth staring off into nothingness. BOHEMOTH I am his Achilles heel. Cut to PRL laughing manically again. BOHEMOTH I am his weakness. Cut to Bohemoth flexing and then staring into the camera. BOHEMOTH On May 27th, I am his judge. His jury. And his executioner. Cut to a guillotine coming down. Cut to a screen with the information about OAOAST School's Out 2007. VOICEOVER Publix Supermarket presents OAOAST School's Out! Sunday May 27th at 8:00 p.m. EST/5:00 p.m. PST. Call your local cable or satellite operator to order now! The eerie music ends. COMMERCIAL BREAK EWC SEZ: The End Of PRL vs. DDD from Last Week, The rest of the match is in last week's show. suck my balls ho! Dance Dance Dragon gets right back up as the crowd rallies behind him. The Bemani Bruiser exits the ring and climbs the top rope. He waits for Tha Puerto Rican to get up. COLE We are about to see a flying dragon! COACH Look out PRL! Get the hell out of the way! Dragon motions for P.R. to get to his feet. P.R. slowly sits up. He then starts to get to his feet with Popick trying to warn him that Dragon's on the top rope. COLE Dragon looking to win his first OAOAST singles title tonight! COACH It's not going to happen! IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! The crowd is fired up. PRL is on his right knee. He then gets to his own two feet again. POPICK TURN AROUND! TURN AROUND! COACH YEAH! TURN AROUND! Tha Puerto Rican is severly weakened. His eyes are glazed over. The Corporate Champ turns around-- Dance Dance Dragon leaps off the top rope-- ---Flying crossbody! 1... 2... PRL rolls through, and now he is covering Dragon! He's grabbing the tights! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! A kickout! COACH That wasn't the finish!? COLE No Coach! Believe it or not, that was not the finish! The match continues! COACH Aw dammit! PRL is stunned that wasn't the finish. He demands that Hebner be reprimdaded by the OAOAST Championship Committee for what he perceives as biased officiating. The crowd, however, is relieved that the match is still going on. Stephen Joseph Popick is close to having a heart attack. He runs his hand through his hair and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. COLE Dance Dance Dragon is giving PRL a run for his money tonight! COACH Shut up! PRL is distracted by Bohemoth is all! It's not like Dragon is in PRL's league! COLE He might be after tonight! COACH Oh hush up, you! The Corporate Champion picks the Strong Style Party Animal up by his mask. Rock punch! And then, PRL grabs Dragon by his right arm and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Dragon reverses--PRL reverses the reversal, and Dragon bounces off the ropes. SPINEBUSTER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COACH Oh yeah! Here we go! Here we go! It's time! It's time! It's time! COLE The thousands in attendance are on their feet! Tha Puerto Rican is going for the IntenseZone Elbow! Dance Dance Dragon lies knocked out in the centre of the ring. PRL taunts the crowd as he walks on over to where Dragon is lying and kicks his right hand onto his chest. The crowd starts booing loudly. PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it down onto Dragon's chest. He then does the weird hand signals and bounces off the ropes, leaps over Dragon...and stops in his tracks. PRL is distracted by something in the aisleway. COLE What the--? Why? Why did PRL stop? How come? COACH I--I don't know, Cole! Tha Puerto Rican's mouth is wide open as he exits the ring. The crowd is as puzzled as Cole and Coach are. PRL walks on over to the edge of the entrance ramp and finds... a tombstone. COLE Whoa. Is that--is that what I think it is? COACH That looks like a tombstone! COLE Where did it come from? COACH Why would someone bring a tombstone into the arena! There's an empty grave somewhere! Tha Puerto Rican looks over the tombstone, and is HORRIFIED at what he reads. Because, enscribed on the tombstone is the following: THA PUERTO RICAN SEPTEMBER 12, 1979 - MAY 27, 2007 THE CHAMP IS DEAD! COLE Oh my. That's Tha Puerto Rican's own tombstone! COACH Who did this!? Bohemoth! Did he do this!? He's trying to mess with Tha Puerto Rican! COLE How creepy is it to look at your own tombstone? How much damage to your psyche must that do? COACH How can he do this? What has PR done to deserve this? COLE Look at the date of death. May 27th, 2007. The date of School's Out. It looks like Bohemoth is sending a message to Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Bohemoth, this isn't right! You're terrifying the poor guy! PRL is speechless as he stares at his tombstone. The crowd is shocked by it too. But then they start cheering when Bohemoth shows up again on the entrance stage! COLE And he's back! Bohemoth is here again! COACH He's crazy! Bohemoth really is crazy! PRL looks up and is spooked out. Bohemoth smiles as he starts walking down the entrance ramp. PRL immediatley starts walking backwards back to the ring. THA PUERTO RICAN You stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR! STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU JOCKASS! COLE Bohemoth and PRL will meet at School's Out on May 27th, but until then they cannot touch each other! So I guess Bohemoth will try to psych PRL out until then, and so far, it looks like it's working! COACH I've never seen PRL like this! NEVER! COLE That's because he's never faced someone like Bohemoth! PRL is *this* close to a mental breakdown! COACH Poor PRL. COLE You might be the only person in the world saying that right now. COACH Not true. The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick feel the same way! COLE Touche. "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" "BO'S GONNA KILL YOU!" COACH SHUT UP WITH THAT CHANT! COLE It might come true on May 27th! PRL is trembling as he walks back to the ring. Bohemoth just chuckles as he walks down the entrance ramp across the aisle. Finally, PRL rolls back into the ring. He continues telling Bohemoth to stay away from him as his voice cracks and he shakes nervously in the ring. PRL Stay away from me, you hear? Just stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! YOU HEAR ME!? STAY AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM-- Dance Dance Dragon lifts PRL up! COLE He's not gonna! He's got him up! COACH Oh no! Oh no! Dance Dance Dragon has "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican up on his shoulders. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL is too stunned to do anything. BEMANI BUSTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 COLE The Bemani Buster! The Bemani Buster! Dance Dance Dragon has got PRL right where he wants him! COACH Oh no! Get up! GET UP! Dance Dance Dragon covers Tha Puerto Rican. Stephen Joseph Popick is shaking his head. Bohemoth watches as Earl Hebner makes the count with the crowd counting along. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *DING DING DING* (9:19) COLE Dragon did it! He finally did it! We got a new X-Division Champion! DDD immediatley gets up and raises his hands in victory! The crowd goes wild as "Hung Up" by Madonna starts playing. Referee Earl Hebner grabs the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt from the timekeeper and hands it over to Dragon. BUFFER Here is your winner...and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion...DANCE DANCEEEEEEEEEEEE DRAGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL lies on the mat, covering his face in shame. Dance Dance Dragon raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head and jumps up and down while the crowd cheers loudly. Bohemoth chuckles a little as he watches PRL lie on the mat miserable. COLE Dance Dance Dragon has gotten his revenge for what happened at AngleMania! He is now the NEW X-Division Champion, the first title he's ever held in his OAOAST career! COACH This is not right! PRL was distracted! Why didn't the referee get Bohemoth out of there! Why didn't the referee get that tombstone out of there? Since when is a tombstone a normal part of a ringside area!? COLE It's too late to anything now! PRL's OAOAST X-Division Title reign is over! COACH Oh, and it was a short reign too! This was only his second title defense! COLE And yet he's defended it two more times than Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez has defended the OAOAST Women's Championship! COACH Oh let's not start! Hush up! Dance Dance Dragon heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his newly won OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head to LOUD cheers. Dragon then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his head again. Dragon gets off the second turnbuckle and raises the belt over his head as "Hung Up" continues playing. PRL is crawling in the ring now, crushed at his loss. Bohemoth applauds Dragon from the outside. COLE Bohemoth did a really good job psyching out Tha Puerto Rican tonight! COACH He's going to pay. Oh, he will pay. Bo's NOT gonna kill PRL! PRL's gonna kill Bo! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell, PRL will get HIS REVENGE! COLE Well, one thing's for sure. The X-Division Title will no longer be on the line in the Hell In A Cell Match at School's Out. It's all about pride now! COACH It's now all about Tha Puerto Rican ENDING THE CAREER OF BOHEMOTH AT SCHOOL'S OUT! Dance Dance Dragon starts busting a move in the middle of the ring with the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd cheers some more. PRL watches while sitting on his ass in the ring. COLE Dance Dance Dragon has pulled off the upset. It's the biggest win of his career thus far! Dance Dance Dragon is the NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion, ending PRL's title reign in less than 2 months! PRL turns his attention to Bohemoth, who is staring right at him. PRL has a look of fear and anger on his face. He is shaking as he continues staring at his future opponent. COLE And now, Tha Puerto Rican can focus on his future, because, in just three weeks time, Tha Puerto Rican will be locked inside the Hell In A Cell against Bohemoth! One-on-one! There's no going back for Tha Puerto Rican! On May 27th at School's Out from the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas, "The Metrosexual Monster" Bohemoth and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will collide! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. The camera cuts to the parking lot where The Lightning Crew Mobile is pulling into the stadium. The crowd boos. COLE We just saw the ending of the PRL/Dance Dance Dragon match from last week's HeldDOWN~!, and now, the FORMER OAOAST X-Division Champion is arriving here tonight for HeldDOWN~!. The front door opens, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican comes out. He is not in a good mood either. PRL is in his Corporate suit and tie. He grabs his black spray-painted briefcase and slams the front door. The rest of The Lightning Crew (minus Vitamin X and Princess Stacey) and Stephen Joseph Popick come out of the car. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN No more messing around tonight! I'm gonna confront Bohemoth man-to-man because I AM a man, and that's what men do! CUBAN WALL That's right boss! THA PUERTO RICAN I'm gonna teach that no good muscle bound IDIOT what happens when you mess with me! I'm not waiting for the Hell In A Cell on the 27th! We is gonna do this TONIGHT! MR. BORICUA GRRRRRRRRRR! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! THA PUERTO RICAN Come on, let's go! PRL orders The Lightning Crew and Popick to follow him. The LC and Popick walk towards the exit. PRL BOHEMOTH! BOHEMOTH! COME OUT BOHEMOTH! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE! I'VE GOT MY CREW WITH ME! YOU SCARED NOW!? HUH!? ARE YOU SCARED!? COLE PRL calling out Bohemoth. The former X-Division Champion is looking for some payback this week! COACH Unless Bohemoth is scared, PRL's gonna get his payback tonight! I can feel it! PRL You don't scare me big guy! I'm not some wussy! I'm a MAN! So come on out and fight me like a man! Come on! Come on! COLE But if Bohemoth fights him, then the Hell In A Cell Match is cancelled! COACH Oh. That would be SO sad. *snicker* PRL Come on! Come on! BOHEMOTH! BOHEMOTH! WHERE ARE YOU!? WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU!? COME ON YOU PUNK ASS BITCH! COME ON OUT! AND FIGHT ME! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! Suddenly, PRL stops in his tracks when he sees a T-shirt on the ground. Puerto picks up the T-shirt, and is a little shaken when he sees that it's a white PRL T-shirt...covered in blood. COLE More mindgames from Bohemoth! PRL is speechless. He's so shocked, he doesn't notice when-- *BAM!* DANCE DANCE DRAGON appears and knocks him out with a lead pipe! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Dance Dance Dragon is here! COACH WHAT DID HE JUST DO? The Lightning Crew and Popick freak out! Dance Dance Dragon (wearing the OAOAST X-Division Championship belt around his waist), holds the lead pipe and dares The Lightning Crew to attack. The Bone Thug goes first, and he gets hit in the gut with the lead pipe! Mr. Boricua charges after Dragon, Dragon ducks, and hits Mr. B upside the head with the lead pipe! Stephen Joseph Popick charges forward, and he gets hit over his head with the lead pipe! Cuban Wall goes for Dragon, but gets hit in the stomach and collapses. Thomas Rodriguez then goes for a shot, but then changes his mind when he sees Dragon staring at him. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez screams the entire time. The crowd cheers! COLE I don't believe it! Dance Dance Dragon has taken out The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Aw geez! First last week, now this! COLE Dance Dance Dragon has laid waste to Tha Puerto Rican! PRL is out cold! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Thomas Rodriguez run to get help. Dance Dance Dragon looks over what he's done, and then looks off screen...until BOHEMOTH steps into the shot. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh no. Not him! Not him! Bohemoth looks at what Dance Dance Dragon has done and smiles. BOHEMOTH Good work. I'll take it from here! Triple D nods his head, and then does the running man to show that he likes Bohemoth (I guess). The NEW OAOAST X-Division Champion walks away. Bohemoth walks over to where Tha Puerto Rican is lying and bends down so that he's face-to-face with him. BOHEMOTH You and me are going to have a little talk. Bohemoth picks Tha Puerto Rican up by his head and slings him over his right shoulder. The crowd cheers as Bohemoth walks away with Tha Puerto Rican over his right shoulder and Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Stephen Joseph Popick knocked out. COLE Where's Bohemoth taking him? Where are they going!? COACH I don't know. But one thing I DO know is that Bohemoth is SOOOO dead at School's Out! PRL's Gonna Kill Him! PRL's Gonna Kill Him! PRL's Gonna Kill Him! COLE We'll be right back! COMMERCIAL BREAK The OAOAST EventTracker is brought to you by Gillette. The best a man can get. May 24- Dallas, Texas (SOLD OUT) May 27 (School's Out) - Houston, Texas(SOLD OUT) May 31- Tupelo, Mississippi Edited May 18, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 18, 2007 (edited) As we return to HeldDOWN~!, we're transported straight to the ring where Biff Atlas is standing, ready for his first match as a bonefide singles competitor. If you don't know why he's a singles wrestler now, you should really read the dirtsheets. Wellness, that's all I'm saying. Biff is sporting new aquamarine blue shorts with a picture of the globe on the BUTT and the word 'ATLAS' written across it in deep red lettering. Plus of course that trademark teeny-tiny hula skirt and ankle vine bracelets. For some reason, Biff also has the microphone, waiting for the signal that we're on air before beginning. BIFF Ladies and gentlemen... "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" BIFF ...yes, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, you may know me as a recreational bodybuilder or as a 'nutritional guru'. In the past, I came to you and I spoke about energy drinks and workout regiments. But that was then and this is now. You are looking at a new Biff Atlas! You see, I now have a much more important message to tell the world. I have a much more important cause to follow. And tonight, before my match, I would like to take a moment to talk to you all about a subject very close to my heart, Global Warming! ..... CROWD COLE COACH BIFF Global Warming is a very real danger that affects all of us and the planet that we inhabit. Now, our government would have you believe that this problem is just a creation of the media. They are dragging their heels on energy conservation. Despite that fact that in a matter of just a few years, the entire West Indies could be 65 feet under water! But, all is not lost! Global Warming is a preventable danger, so long as we tackle this issue head on! Every single person in this audience tonight can do their bit to prevent climate change. Everyone. Taking your computer off of stand-by, using public transport, flushing your toilets once a month... all of these minor things could have a huge effect on the future of this planet. The planet that I love so much. The planet. The Atlas! Help prevent Climate Change and change the world! Thank you! The crowd sit in stunned silence, unsure of how to take in that diatribe. Suddenly the pro-Biff signs disappear and the cheers are gone for Biff, as he removes his hula skirt and passes it to the outside. COACH Okay. That was... interesting. COLE It was something alright. I don't know about Global Warming, but this crowd don't seem to be warming to Biff Atlas' words here tonight. He will be representing the OAOAST here tonight though, because he'll be taking on WDW's latest acquisition and dare I add, the latest man to turncoat on the OAOAST. COACH And it could be anybody! I lost track of all the names being thrown around backstage earlier. COLE Yeah, it turned into a bit of a witchhunt in the end. I still can't believe Alix accused Terry Taylor. I wonder if he regained consciousness yet. COACH Who cares? BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California... he weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAATTLLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!! Biff salutes the crowd and gets a now mixed reaction. All eyes now turn to the stage as an awkward silence falls across the arena for a couple of seconds, before finally... "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" The pumping beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena... and through the sliding entrance doors swaggers JAMIE O'HARA! COLE No way! COACH Unbelievable. BUFFER And, his opponent represents World Domination Wrestling! Hailing from Birmingham, England... he weighs in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Birmingham Bad Boy jaws away at no-one or no-thing in particular as the marches down the aisle, brash as ever. Up the steps he climbs, vaulting in over the top rope and jawing now at someone in particular, that being Biff Atlas. Biff points the finger right back though, leaving referee Nick Patrick to step in between them. COLE Well, I must say, I didn't expect this. COACH Man. I expected better from the J-OH. To think, we used to be crew. COLE Ebonics aside, Jamie O'Hara, WDW's newest signing? This a major coo! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and O'Hara immediately dives towards Biff, looking to sweep a leg. Biff avoids it though, so O'Hara comes back to his feet and into a collar and elbow tie-up. With the clear power advantage, Biff backs O'Hara up into a corner, pinning him in and surprisingly giving a clean break. Unsuprisingly, O'Hara doesn't reciprocate though, pushing back on the turnbuckles and driving his feet into Biff's burly chest to drive him backwards. O'HARA WOT NOW!? EH!? WOT NOW!? Allowing Jamie to jaw away, Biff looks for another collar and elbow tie-up. A little naively O'Hara accepts and again he gets muscled right back into a corner, forced against the turnbuckles... and this time, Biff clubs him across the chest with a forearm! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Do these people realise what show they're at? Biff clubs O'Hara with a second forearm! And a third! Whipping O'Hara across the ring, the reformed nutrition guru then charges in, looking to crush the Brit with an Avalanche. Up and over goes O'Hara though, rolling down Biff's back and waiting for him to turn around before connecting with a Dropkick! Biff falls back into the corner now and O'Hara dives onto the middle rope in front of him, fist clenched, ready to unload... "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" "OI!" ...with ten punches (honestly, there's ten, you can count them yourself) to the forehead! COLE It sounds like a soccer game here in Oklahoma City. COACH Obviously you don't watch much soccer then. Jumping off the rope it's O'Hara's turn to try an irish whip. An arm wrapped around the top rope prevents Biff from being taken for the ride though and eventually he fires a kick into the gut to force the Brit off of him. As O'Hara turns around, Biff then loads up the arm looking for a big clothesline coming out of the corner. O'Hara ducks it though, coming out of the corner himself with a big Busaiku Knee Kick to take Atlas down! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Out of the ring rolls Biff, looking to recollect himself. O'Hara looks to follow, but referee Nick Patrick manages to keep some order, preventing Jamie from leaving the ring while he counts. COACH How do you kick someone with your knee anyway? COLE You don't. It's just what it's called. COACH But it makes no sense. COLE Take it up with KENTA. COACH Who? As Biff continues to walk it off around ringside, the impatient O'Hara sneaks out of the ring behind referee Patrick and rounds the ring in pursuit of Biff. Busy conserving his own energy much like he was preaching earlier, Biff doesn't see O'Hara coming. Until it's too late that is, O'Hara springing off the ring steps and crushing the horror-stricken Atlas with a Somersault Seated Senton!! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" COLE Daredevil move from Jamie O'Hara, something which I guess we're not going to see any more off on HeldDOWN~! after tonight! O'Hara fires up the crowd a little before he collects and dumps Biff back into the ring. And in he follows with the cover... 1... 2... No! Backing into a corner, O'Hara props himself on the second rope, encouraging Atlas back to his feet. Over staggers Biff, a little close for Jamie's liking which earns him a Nikey right in the mouth! As Biff staggers back, O'Hara then tumbles off the ropes with a big Blockbuster! COLE Oh, SNAP~! Cover... 1... 2... No! COLE O'Hara is going to have trouble keeping Biff down for three, lacking a lot in the power department compared to his opponent. Leading Biff to his feet, a forearm finds the mark from O'Hara. A second. And a third. Biff looks dazed so into the ropes goes Jamie. But suddenly Biff comes into life and as O'Hara shoots back, he gets MOWN down with a clothesline!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Hahaha... wow! The bottom half of O'Hara's body landed about five seconds after the top half did! That's what I call a near decapitation! COLE That was a tremendous clothesline, for sure. Could be a tide turner. As O'Hara rolls around looking for an escape route, Biff stops him with an elbow, pinning him down... 1... 2... Kickout, right into a side headlock. COLE And Biff wisely slowing things down, trying to keep O'Hara grounded. The stocky Biff puts all his 220 pounds behind the headlock, trying to make O'Hara carry his weight. Atlas then uses the headlock to bring O'Hara up before whipping him into the ropes, pressing him into the air on the rebound with Flapjack, J-OH plummeting back down to earth face-first! The impact bounces him back up to his knees and Biff quickly grabs him, sending him into the turnbuckles with a whip this time. Biff follows up with the Avalanche he wanted earlier, waiting on O'Hara to stumble out of the corner and catching him around the waist for a Side Belly To Belly Suplex... 1... 2... Kickout! Back up come Atlas and O'Hara. It's Atlas who's in control right now, O'Hara sucking wind and not helped by a knee driven into the breadbasket. With a waistlock, Biff then deadlifts The Birmingham Bad Boy up and over his shoulder into the Canadian Backbreaker, the submission hold made famous by Jesse "The Body" Ventura! Biff squeezes down on the hold as Patrick looks up for any signs of a submission. COLE I'm hearing through my earpiece that... this is 'The Greenhouse Effect'. Cute. "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" "JA - MIE" COLE This crowd still solidly behind O'Hara, despite his defection from the OAOAST. Perhaps these fans in Oklahoma want to give him a good send-off in his last HeldDOWN~! match. COACH Or perhaps they're just dumb. With the support of the crowd behind him, energy pumps through O'Hara's body all of a sudden. And he begins to fight the hold, driving his elbow forward a couple of times. No precision, but the elbows do hit Biff, enough to allow O'Hara a little room to manoeuvre, squirming around... ...and ESCAPING the hold, sliding down the back and looking for a Backslide! He doesn't have the power in his legs to take Biff over though, the pocket powerhouse bending over which brings O'Hara over his back and out in front, for a clothesli... DUCKED! O'Hara sweeps under the arm and runs on to the ropes, springboarding off the second rope and connecting with a twisting Dropkick! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE O'Hara connects! And the momentum may have shifted once more! COACH Come on Biff! I can't believe I'm cheering for you, but damnit I am so you'd better win! COLE Don't sit on the fence Coach. Both men are a little slow to their feet, meeting in the centre of the ring with O'Hara landing a kick to the gut. O'Hara wraps Atlas up and struggles a little for the suplex, settling for a Snap Suplex which doesn't have much height but enough behind it to send Biff retreating into a corner holding his back. The Birmingham Bad Boy follows right in, stomping away with his Nike trainers before hopping up onto the thighs looking for a Monkey Flip... but Biff just POWERS him off! Through to his feet rolls O'Hara but his run at Biff is lazy and he gets met with a boot up! BIFF AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH!! And with a shoutout to the world's foremost movie on the issue of Global Warming, Biff scoops O'Hara up onto his shoulders, into a fireman's carry... ...and gets taken over with a crucifix... 1... 2... NO! Rolling to his feet, Biff loads up one of his big guns again, throwing another clothesline. Again it doesn't find the mark though, O'Hara quick enough to duck underneath and wrap around Atlas with a waistlock. Throwing back elbows, the waistlock is broken by Biff, who tries to whip O'Hara into the ropes. O'Hara spins out though, connecting with a kick to the gut before kicking Biff up underneath the jaw, with a move reminiscent of Guile from Street Fighter!! COACH If he starts throwing electric, this could get ugly! COLE Not to mention the damage it could do to the environment. As Biff staggers backwards, out to the apron exits O'Hara. With a good grip on the top rope he springboards, soaring with a Crossbody... ...CAUGHT! And Atlas drops O'Hara down with a slam, right by the turnbuckles. Stepping over O'Hara's body, Biff makes a big circle with his hands and gives the call for the "EARTHSAULT!" which seems to have much the same set-up as a Moonsault would. COLE Biff Atlas, going up. I'm not so sure how smart this is. COACH Duh. It's Biff Atlas. COLE Ah, true. Scaling the turnbuckles with his back to the ring, Biff looks through his legs to check that O'Hara is still there while he steadies himself. Once set, he then backflips, soaring through the air with impressive form on the Earthsault... *WHAM!* ...AND CRASHING TO THE CANVAS! NOBODY HOME! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE O'Hara able to roll out of the way! As Biff clutches at his gut, O'Hara quickly exits the ring again and heads to the top rope himself. O'Hara faces the ring though and as Biff lies winded by the turnbuckles, SuperJay reaches the high-rent district and flies, tumbling through the air AND CRASHING DOWN ACROSS BIFF'S CHEST WITH THE 630 SPLASH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE SIX! THIRTY! SPLASH! 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE And Jamie O'Hara, signing out with a victory! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJAAAAAAMMIIIIIEEE... O'HHHAAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" O'Hara holds his ribs as his hand is raised in victory, The Birmingham Bad Boy shouting out to the world. Pulling away from Patrick he then exits the ring and tags some hands, before heading off out of the OAOAST with his head held high. COLE Impressive showing from O'Hara and I for one will be sad to see the last of that young talent here on HeldDOWN~! O'Hara, moving on to pastures new. I'm not so sure on his thinking behind signing up with Alfdogg and his crew, but we wish him good luck nonetheless. COACH Not too much luck though. The camera cuts to...the boiler room. And inside the boiler room lies "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, blindfolded, and sitting in a wooden chair. All that's in the room is a table and a lamp that is the only light in the otherwise dark room. PRL is quivering in his seat as Bohemoth appears in the shot, wearing one of his pimp suits. BOHEMOTH Do you know why I brought you here? THA PUERTO RICAN Uhh...no? BOHEMOTH I brought you here because I wanted to talk to you tonight. Without any interruptions. Just you...and me. PRL W--wh--why? Why? Why are you doing this? BOHEMOTH Because, in two weeks time, I am going to make sure you never wrestle again! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell Match, I am going to make sure that you don't walk out of that match ALIVE. So, because May 27th will be the last anyone will ever hear of Tha Puerto Rican, I thought that tonight we'd take a look back. A look back at all the dirty, disgusting, horrendous, brutal, vicious, and nasty things you've done ever since you came to the OAOAST. I want you to remember all the people you've hurt, betrayed, lied to, and inflicted pain on. Because on May 27th, they will all be watching as I take all that pain you've done to people...and throw it back at you. May 27th will be your JUDGMENT DAY. PRL ...Oh...God. The crowd cheers as Bohemoth circles Tha Puerto Rican in the boiler room. (Cut to Sofa Central with Michael Cole and Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman) COACH I can't believe we're allowing Bohemoth to get away with this! THEY'RE IN THE BOILER ROOM! GET THEM! COLE Well, Bohemoth hasn't done anything wrong! He's simply interrogating Tha Puerto Rican. COACH INTERROGATING? Cole, by the end of the night, PRL might no longer be an active member of the OAOAST! COLE I'm sure you're the only one complaining about that. COACH You're sick. You know that? You're sick. SICK! SICK! SICK! COMMERCIAL BREAK COMING UP NEXT Former champions seek a return to glory The Heavenly Rockers Vs Los Conquistadors NEXT Edited May 18, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 18, 2007 (edited) We're shown a shot of the stadium, as a female voiceover recites this weeks sponsors. OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by... Miss Spezia's Sweeties' Two Timing Woman Butter pecan cookies. You're a black man, and your kids have yellow skin and slanted eyes. God damn that Two Timing Woman. By Liberty Mutual. What's your policy? And by Hilton Hotels. Travel can take you places An overhead shot inside the arena leads us to the squared circle and ring announce Michael Buffer, joined by LOS CONQUISTADORS. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Currently in the ring, the meanest and baddest hombres in el mundo...Los Conquistadors! Uno and Dos raise their fists to a chorus of boos. The jeers quickly turn to cheers as Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box" hits. The "Angel of Death" herself, Holly-Wood, leading her team to the ring. BUFFER Their opponents, accompanied by their manager HOLLY-WOOD...from Sin City, total combine weight 430 pounds, the greatest rock 'n wrestling band of all-time...THE HEAVENLYYYYYY RRRRRR-- COLE Michael Buffer, get out of there now! * DINGDINGDING * Los Conquistadors catch the Heavenly Rockers with a cheap shot as they step through the ropes, but it doesn't take long for Synth and Logan to fight back and gain the upper hand. Logan rakes Uno's eyes and tosses him outside, then helps his partner pummel Dos to his knees. Whipped to the ropes and elevated high above, Dos lands flat on his back courtesy of a Heavenly Rockers tandem maneuver. Dos again finds himself on his back following a DOUBLE SYNCHRONIZED DROPKICK! Logan covers! ONE... But only one as Uno breaks up the count. Logan removes his leather jacket and throws it at Uno's feet. In case that didn't grab his attention Mann throws Dos down as well, daring Uno to tag in. To the surprise of many, perhaps, Uno accepts the challenge. He and Logan lock up and, as the Heavenly Rockers been known to do in the past, Logan busts out a wristlock to prove he is indeed a trained wrestler, followed by a snap mare takeover and a fist to the jaw. ONE... KICKOUT! Logan brings Uno to his feet and works the body over with a series of stinging left jabs. Once he's had his fun Logan tags Synth and fires Uno into the ropes, drilling him in the midsection with a hard right that enables Synth to snap him over with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Instead of going for the cover Synth climbs onto the second rope and drops the big elbow! ONE... TWO... NO! Again a Conquistador is there to make the save, this time Dos. Synth slams Uno for good measure and tags Logan back in. Holly-Wood cheering her husband on as he scales to the top, spreading his "wings" (arms) to build the drama--- COLE If Logan hits this it's all over. ---FLYING DOUBLE KNEE DROP TO THE CHEST!! Mann bounces off Uno and across the ring, decking Dos with a WICKED LEFT HOOK! "D-D-T!" "D-D-T!" "D-D-T!" COLE You know what the fans want to see. COACH Funny how you scream at the top of your lungs when somebody like "Sweet" Lucius Soul looks to add an exclamation point to the end of a match, yet it's just giving the people what they want when the Heavenly Rockers do it. All I'm asking for is some consistency. Logan twirls the FINGER OF DOOM~ and waves in Synth. They hook Uno's head and spike him into the mat! COLE Percussion DDT! Synth plays air guitar as Logan covers! ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners... THE HEAVENLYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Heavenly Rockers meant business tonight, Coach. It only took them a little over 2 minutes to finish off a tough Conquistadors team. Logan calls for and receives the microphone. LOGAN Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" LOGAN No more Mister Nice Guy. You, us. SCHOOL'S OUT! Title, non-title, it don't make a difference. The Heavenly Rockers are coming after your asses sayeth Logan Usher Mann! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The challenge has been issued. All we can do now is await the response of the HI-YAH tag team champions. Hopefully sometime tonight. COACH I'll say this, Cole -- the Heavenly Rockers won't have it as easy as they did tonight against Rico and Lucius. COLE A whole lot more still to come, fans. Don't you dare go away. The camera cuts back to the boiler room. Bohemoth is pacing back and forth. Tha Puerto Rican is still in his chair blindfolded. BOHEMOTH I want you to think back. Back to May 27, 2003. Do you remember that date? PRL Y--Yes. BOHEMOTH I'm sure you do. And you know who else remembers that date? The Mad Cappa. You know why? Because on that date, you, PRL, took a ringbell, a ring bell that is used in every wrestling match, and you used it to try and end a man's career. A man who was really the complete opposite of you. The Mad Cappa was nice, friendly, compassionate, and had a deep love for the fans. All the things you aren't. Is that why you did what you did? Is that why you crushed his larynx with a ring bell? PRL No! I didn't crush his larynx because he was nice or whatever! I crushed his larynx because he SUCKED! BOHEMOTH That's it? Because he 'sucked'? That's why you did that? P.R., Cappa couldn't talk for two months because of what you did! He couldn't even breathe right afterwards! You nearly ended his career, all because you thought he 'sucked'! My God, have you no shame? Don't you care about your fellow OAOAST wrestlers? PRL I care about my Crew. I care about Popick. The rest of the roster can go piss up a rope...uh...except for you...of course. Bohemoth does a heavy sigh. BOHEMOTH P.R., Cappa came back. And he did beat you more than once. PRL Let's not talk about that... BOHEMOTH YES WE WILL! PRL (meekly) Okay! BOHEMOTH Cappa came back. But he might not have. And it would have been all your fault. And how would you have felt? How would you have felt knowing that you ended a man's career? How would you have felt that a man could no longer do what he love, put food on the table, because of you? How would that have made you feel? PRL Like I got the job done. Bohemoth throws his chair to the wall! PRL flinches. BOHEMOTH That's the kind of behavior that makes me want May 27th to come sooner rather than later! Tha Puerto Rican does a big cartoonish style *gulp*. BOHEMOTH Now...let's move onto someone else. *FADE OUT* *COMMERCIALS* COMING UP NEXT America's Sweethearts against HI-YAH'S best ****OAOAST World Tag Team Titles**** Chicks Over Dicks Vs James Blond and Faqu Edited May 20, 2007 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 18, 2007 (edited) The camera cuts to the boiler room once again with Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican. BOHEMOTH Let's talk about what you did in the summer of 2003. As though crushing Mad Cappa's larynx wasn't enough, you actually managed to stoop to a brand new low when you kidnapped Lauren Gellar and kept her hostage for a week. A week of which was a total hell for her. THA PUERTO RICAN It was only one week. BOHEMOTH A day with you is enough to cause anyone misery, but I digress. Anyway, while you held her captive, you did...things to her. You...this is making me sick just thinking about it...you...tortured her. You...abused her. Did you physically assault her too? Did you sexually molest her? DID YOU!? THA PUERTO RICAN ...Not...really... BOHEMOTH Not really? Not really? WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT REALLY!? PRL ALL RIGHT! Me, and Mr. Boricua, and Vitamin X had our way with her. More than once. Bohemoth looks like he's about to become sick. BOHEMOTH You...had your way with her? Jesus, what did Lindsay think of all of this? PRL Lindsay understands that sometimes you got to do things you're not proud of for the sake of your own career. BOHEMOTH But you were proud, weren't you? Huh? Weren't you? You were proud abusing Lauren. Weren't you? You were happy hearing her scream and cry! Weren't you!? And over what!? A title belt? A piece of tin on a leather strap? PRL Don't disrespect the Puerto Rican Championship like that-- BOHEMOTH SAVE IT, PUERTO! PRL Yes sir! BOHEMOTH You...you...you're a criminal. You're an even bigger piece of slime than I thought. And yet, four years later, you're still in the OAOAST...still wrestling...still going on...like nothing happened. And yet, Lauren Gellar, she's still in therapy. She hasn't forgotten what you did to her, even if you did! Lauren Gellar has to live with the scars from that week for the rest of her life. But not you? Oh no. You can go on like it never happened. Well, guess what, P.R.? At School's Out...I'm gonna make you feel her PAIN! PRL can only let out a tiny squeak upon hearing that. The crowd cheers. COLE The interrogation continues. We return from the break, focused on the commentating position. At the announce table is Mister Theo Moneymaker, outfitted in a sharp pinstriped suit, with a pair of black sunglasses resting atop his gelled brown hair. At his side, sits his trusted business partner, Mackenzie DeCenzo, lithe figure accentuated by a lustrous black boat neck dress, with short puffed out sleeves. COLE I'm being joined at this moment in time by Theodore Moneymaker and Mackenzie DeCenzo of The Enterprise. Welcome aboard! MACKENZIE As always it's a...well, it's not exactly a pleasure, but it sure is something alright. COLE Theodore this week you have offered HI-YAH heavyweight champion Faqu and his on again off again partner James Blonde, six hundred thousand dollars to best Chicks Over Dicks for the tag team titles. Now, the girls have already defeated SWF champion Landon Maddix in tag competition and eliminated him from a battle royal. Not to disrespect HI-YAH, but the competition for the SWF world title is brutally intense, if Alix and Krista can beat Landon Maddix twice, what makes you think Faqu and James Blonde will be able to succeed? MONEYMAKER Money is a very powerful motivational tool, Cole, and I've given them six hundred thousand reasons to be motivated. Before we start this contest, Mackenzie and I would like to offer a warm hello to Jade Rodez, backstage. It's been hard road to unprogram her from Krista's femi-nazi brain washing, but she's an eager learner with a good spirit, and we're on our way to righting her thinking! The shot goes to Michael Buffer, standing in ring, microphone in hand. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televisied time limit of sixty minutes and it is for the OAOAST world tag team titles. Introducing first the challengers.... When I die and they lay me to rest, Gonna go to the place that's the best When they lay me down to die, Goin up to the spirit in the sky Unless you're some sort of ineffectual, effete pussy bitch, you can no doubt appreciate the fine music that pours from the stadium sound speaker. I'm talking about Spirit In The Sky by Norman Greenbaum, the MOTHER FUCKING MADDEST NOTE WE GOT! Yeah the 70's sucked, but this bitch is on point in any decade, you smell me? Anyway from the parting entrance doors steps James Blonde, attired in dark red trunks, boots, knee pads and elbow pads. He points towards the open sky, raising his finger to the heavens. Why? Because just like Norman says, he's got a friend in Jesus, and when he dies he's gonna recommend him to the spirit in the sky. From behind Blonde, emerges the perpetually sour HI-YAH heavyweight champion. Unable to fit the title across his expansive waistline, Faqu keeps it stashed across his broad shoulder, massaging his nameplate with unwavering confidence. BUFFER First from Vancouver, British Columbia, weighing in at two hundred pounds, The Mover From Vancouver, JAMES BLONDE! And his partner, from the Isle of Samoa, he is the HI-YAH heavyweight champion, weighing three hundred and one pounds, FAQUUUUU! In unusual celebration of having their name announced, Blonde raises his hand for a high five. Faqu is far to focused on acquiring his second piece of gold to lend his attention to Blonde's gestures, and merely continues his trek to the ring. Upon reaching the ring apron, he steps over the ropes, and with a fierce snarl, foists his world championship into the sky. Blonde remains on the outside, loosening his muscles for the all important match ahead. MACKENZIE I've never actually watched any HI-YAH related material, and I don't ever intend on changing that fact, but I can only assume these men are reasonably talented. COLE Didn't the Blonds win the HI-YAH tag titles under your watch? MACKENZIE Well, I try to avoid the Japanese, they're a frighteningly horrific race of people. MONEYMAKER Witness Pearl Harbor! A nation of Napoleonic xenophobes attempting to destroy the fabric that binds the greatest country on earth together. I shudder to think what would happen if the event were to occur today. You'd get Krista and Alix's liberal set in their Nazi regalia, with their unshaven arm pits, and flopping breastages out in front of Capitol Hill demanding that we give peace a chance, and not shine darkness on the land of the rising sun. Terrorists! All of them! Leave no witch unburnt at the stake! Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! A magnificent pink pyro waterfall streams from the ceiling, joined by an outpouring of "C-O-D! C-O-D!" chants. From the base of the stage erupts a stunning red pyro fountain. Mingled with the pink majesty, it creates a lustrous conflagration within the stadium walls, it's brilliance shinning so bright it can be witnessed by those driving past the venue. MONEYMAKER Here are the poster girls for the militant dyke agenda! They own enough media power and influence to lead impressionable young women to hell in droves. Dyke propaganda mills-with the eager help of all media outlets-are churning out Satan's black gospel, featuring Alix and Krista, with their same old lying Luciferian theme: It's OK to be gay. Once the red and pink pyro disappears, a majestic golden wall flames across the entirety of the entrance stage, wowing the audience that isn't used to such awesome displays in their tiny stadium. Parting the wave of smoke like Moses with the red sea is the gorgeous figure of Krista Isadora Duncan. Red lips curved into a sly smirk, her head lolls from side to side, flinging golden locks through the sky. A ruffled crimson mini skirt clings to base of her thighs, it's left side cut away to reveal the entirety of her smooth, tanned leg. As if her tantalizing display of skin wasn't enough to delight the crowd, they're further enthralled by her upper body attire of a silver and black Oklahoma Redhawks baseball jersey. Alix is roams across the entry stage, rocking her body to the infectious beat of the song, pumping the crowd into even higher levels of excitement. She's attired herself in a sparkling golden bikini top that's barely more than two strips of material that stretch vertically across her chest, leaving plenty of cleavage and skin bare. A pair of skintight pink booty shorts clings to every curve of her long legs and impressive backside. BUFFER And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs. Spezia's sweeties, a two time 24/7 champion, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan! Together they are three time world tag team champions, Hollywood "It" Girls, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Typically Krista has to exert a herculean effort to corral her enthusiastic gal pal. But today, Alix saves her a bit of energy; she unleashes a flurry of steps towards Krista, which feature a healthy element of Elvis thrusts and Saturday Night fever disco tossed in. The hipster moves morph into a series of athletic twirls that are capped by Krista suavely plucking Alix's hand from the air and tapping a kiss onto her knuckles. Krissy's hands journey to her slim waist, touching her bronze skin brushing the side of her stomach and then moving over her lower ribs heading upwards. Alix's head dives backward in pleasure, sending strands of brown hair swinging across the air. Her fingers swipe her puckered lips, then shoot an adorable kiss into camera, causing super imposed red lips to appear on screen. COLE Mackenzie you took part in two of the more risque Anglemania moments, first getting flashed by Alix, then engaging in a saucy lip lock with Krista. And the cameras don't lie, you were enjoying those two events more then anyone in the stadium, and that saying quite a lot. You were sprung off Alix and Krista. So, what's your opinion on Monyemaker's quest to restore the ideals of the American Family in the oaoast? MACKENZIE Uh, well...uh..I...uh... MONEYMAKER Rape! Rape! That's what those women did to Miss DeCenzo! God damn rape! A rape of a virtuous maiden, by diabolic witches, attempting to infect her with their disease of dykedom. Do you know what they had the audacity to do after the match? Do you? They brazenly walked into the Enterprise locker room..and....and...and...asked Mackenzie if she'd like to hang out with them back in LA! COLE No! Attempting to befriend someone! How dare they try and do something as terrible as be nice! Monstrous lesbianism, a sin against God, obliterating life, damning the soul and crippling the very nation that tolerates it! MONEYMAKER Yes! Yes! If time permitted and we had stronger stomaches I could escort you to some of the places in West LA that they frequent that would send any decent American into a state of shock, where you would witness the kind of unspeakable behavior that has become part of the Roman circus that is the homosexual underworld. COLE Been there done that, honey. The duo skips down the entry ramp, accompanied by a chorus of cheers and supportive words for the audience. Ally flashes the devil horns to the many fans in the front row, and they return the demonic gesture in kind Krista's ice hardened heart is melted into a blubbering puddle of love, when a little girl in a "I love my two mommies" shirt hands her a bouquet of red roses as a belated Mother's Day Gift. She doesn't have much time to fawn over the kindhearted gesture, however, as Alix is taken position on the ring apron, requiring Krissy to start the contest against The Move From Vancouver, James Blonde. DING DING DING Krista steps into a lockup with Blonde, however the hold lasts no more then two seconds before the Vancouver native traps her into an arm wrench. Unfortunately, JB lacks the basic technical skills required to keep the move applied, and Krissy effortlessly reverses it into an arm wrench of her own. She snaps down on the limb, eliciting a sharp scream of pain from the hard luck star. The incredible agony from that simple move doubles him over and leaves him in the hands of her merciless whims. Thus she shifts her toned legs over his injured arm, so that she straddles his shoulder. From there she flips backwards, and catches onto his other arm with a beautiful arm drag! "K-I-D! K-I-D!" MONEYMAKER How disappointed do you think I am right now? Here in Oklahoma, the heartland of America, a state where the teachings of the good book reign supreme, I hear nothing but immoral miscreants cheering for the actions of a dirty carpet muncher. If you look in any scientific textbook, any reputable one, you'll find that gay and lesbian sex acts are equivalent, worse in fact, then a dog eating it's own vomit, or a pig wallowing in it's own feces. James rolls to his feet, the desire to apply a tag desperately strong. Yet, his wishes go unfulfilled, as the sex kitten tosses him over with a second arm drag. He tries to scurry away, but Miss California keeps him rooted in place with an arm lock. After a career built on dealing with the likes of The Sooner Bruisers, GPX, Black T, etc, it's understandable that Krissy is a little bored with the shoddy competition provided by James Blonde, thus she pulls her cell phone out of her baseball jersey, and begins playing a vigorous round of Mike Tyson Punch Out! The fun excursion quickly goes south when Krissy's digitized warrior hits the Hindu wall known as The Great Tiger. If you were born after 1985 skip ahead several paragraphs because you'll not understand Krista's following complaint, "Jesus Christ in Taxi Cab! This game can not be serious! How can teleporting halfway around the galaxy, then coming back and smacking me out of my high heels be at all legal? You can't do both! You can teleport 24/7/365 but when that those little white pixels shine on my screen, that better be a kiss heading to my cheek and not a left hook. Instead of paying money for this game, I should've just paid Verizon $5.99 to kick me in the ovaries, that would've been about the same effect. Just how am I supposed to beat this guy?" Blonde takes this moment in time to offer his heplful suggestion, "You have to wait until he does that Tiger punch deal. See, you dodge it and the guy gets all dizzy and shit, and then KA-POW you smack him down." "Uh-huh, that's grrrrrrreat, Jimmy. But if I wanted some advice on something you're in expert in, I would've said just how am I supposed to become an enormous douche bag." Annoyed with the helpful advice, Krissy leads Blond upright, then roughly shoves him into the corner. Though he slams into the posts with a strong thud, he's able to return fire with his red padded elbow. However, the fitness queen rolls beneath the incoming blow. When her billion dollar body uncurls, she leaps onto the second rope. Unaware of her new location, Blonde spins around to retry his elbow effort. But his attempt goes up in multicolored flames, when Krissy dismounts her perch and lacerates him with a fameasser! "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Krista considers herself to be en fuego after her aerial showing, and has to comically, and exaggeratedly fan the flames around her neck that have resulted from her unmistakable awesomeness. JB uses her moment of arrogance to regain his strength, and roll to his feet. But by the time he's upright, Krista has is sufficiently "cooled down", and directs a chop into his flabby chest. He takes the stinging blow, and the whoos of the crowd, in stride, and returns fire with a knee into her toned stomach. Stricken with a bout of nausea, she sways from side to side, but Blond keeps her in place, by tightening her into front facelock. He raises her into the sky, then promptly brings her down with a basic DDT. Foolishly, he acts as though the simple hold was equivalent to winning the world series, and bounces from side to side with arms raised into the sky. Needless to say, the crowd is less then enamored with his gesture. MONEYMAKER Don't listen to the noise from the stands, obviously the zoo keeper fell asleep on the job, and the hairless primates have ventured from their cages and into the stadium! America does not want, and has never wanted, to hear about "lesbian lovers" or "homosexual companions", and they certainly don't want little Bobby and little Jane coming home from school talking about how little Maya found Auntie Alix's royal g-spot vibrator under her bed! Distressed over the poor fan response, the downtrodden JB retreats to his corner to bring Faqu into the affair. The heavy hitter won't let James depart however, and gruffly demands assistance for a double team. Blonde complies, and the challengers shoots the blond covergirl into the ring ropes. Upon her return, their arms curve under her shoulders and bring her over for a hip toss. She lands with a thudding impact on the canvas, her frame shooting upright to howl in pain. The mammoth Samoan keeps her glued to the mat, however, when he plants his beefy elbow onto her collar bone. As Blond scurries out the ring, Faqu attempts a pin that's scored by Charles Robinson. ONE TWO But Krissy pulls her shoulder off the mat, eliciting quite the roar from the stadium audience. She quickly rolls upright, but finds herself under immediate assault from The Samoan, who chucks her into the ring ropes. As her New Balance tennis carry her back towards her foe, his arm springs at her in a lariat! But she avoids the lethal blow, by sliding between the minuscule gap between his thick legs. When she stands up, she wastes little time in peppering his ghoulish visage with furious elbow strikes. One of the thudding blows, collides gruesomely with his mouth, and loosens several teeth. The sudden shock from the removal of his yellow fangs, causes his concentration to evaporate, and permits Miss California to back him towards her corner in order to tag Alix. Ally's anticipated entry into the title bout is met with thundering cheers and ovations. "YEAAAAA!" see, like I said, thundering cheers and ovations. MACKENZIE Jesus, wow, look at that little outfit....um, I mean the fabric is of an amazingly high quality! That's all. The threading is impeccable. That's what I meant. The threading. Nothing more. America's Sweethearts instantly go to work on the Samoan wrecking ball, their expensive footwear savaging his portly midsection. He grunts and grouses under their assault, showing nothing more then a minor discomfort. Realizing that their parade of kicks is doing nothing except wasting their energy, the girls take to skies and slam dropkicks into their foe's cranium. The lumbering beast totters backwards, draping himself into the embrace of the ring ropes. The orange cables prove to be unwelcoming hosts, and quickly return him to his lovely rivals. Ally and Krissy greet his arrival by horsewhipping their shoes across his skull with twin enziguris. Faqu emits a roar that sounds far less then human, as he tumbles through the air and splatters onto the canvas. "YEAAAAAAA!" In celebration of their easy victory, Ally flips a cute kiss towards Krista. Krissy catches it on her hand, then delicately places it on her cheek, before her blood red lips return the sweet gesture. Alix snatches the kiss into her left hand, but instead of gently attaching it to her cheek, the receiving hand darts downward, it's palm smacking the aggrieved islander dead in the face! COLE I guess you could call that the kiss of death! MONEYMAKER I call it completely ridiculous and utter embarrassment to professional wrestling! Not like my fistful of dollars. Now that is a move! Unfortunately for poor Faqu, he's yet to suffer the last of COD's double teaming. Krista takes hold of Alix's lovely legs, and pulls her into the sky. While hovering in midair, Alix flexes her muscles, and playfully growls towards the cheering audience. The end result of the move is far less cute, as Krista drops Alix stomach first onto the challenger! Silverman counts the ensuing pinfall... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Faqu kicks out with monstrous authority, thrusting Ally's thin figure into the air as he does so. Alix lands on her fuzzy boots, but the sharp movement throws her dangerously off balance. Faqu seeks to take advantage of her physical disorientation, by rolling to his feet and aiming a lariat at her head. But Alix catches onto his incoming missile, and uses it as a base to spin around his fleshy body. When she reaches the front of his frame, her arm collars around his neck, and she tugs him downward for a brutal DDT! ALIX "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" the audience sings. Still bobbing her head to a tune only she can hear, Alix marches towards the orange cables. She leaps into the air, and situates her legs onto the top rope for a split legged moonsault. However, James Blonde quickly rushes to her location, and grabs onto a wad of fur on her boots in order to crash her to the mats. Much to his chagrin, and the crowd's delight, the California cutie is able to land on her feet. As the fans resume chanting her name, she blasts some beats on her air guitar. Unfortunately her moment to play Hendrix has distracted her from the crazed animal within the ring. He capitalizes on her preoccupation, by sneaking behind her, and dropping her to the canvas with a clubbing forearm. Whimpering in agony and clutching her badly bruised back, Ally staggers upright. Her foe meets her ascension with a pair of knife edge chops. But the agile champion, deftly avoids his strikes, by whipping behind him. To add humiliation to his considerable frustration, she grabs onto his copious mounds of belly fat, and gingerly jiggles the meaty ripples off brown flesh. "BUY A BOWFLEX! BUY A BOWFLEX!" the crowd chants their weight loss tips to Faqu. MONEYMAKER Moderate conservatives, or as I like to call them "Value-traitors" have sold out American ideals, and legacies by espousing that these lezzies are somehow socially acceptable because they're consenting adults! When does consent enter into the equation? Cole, if I dig up your dead grandmother with the intention of fornication, does that make everything alright because I am a consenting adult and she is a consenting corpse? MACKENZIE What he's trying to say is...um.....just watch the match, okay. Watch the match. Faqu, for some odd reason, is disgusted by Alix's pointing out the obvious fact that he is disgustingly obese. Perhaps he thought if no one called attention to it, we'd never know he has tits the size of condors. Either way, he is incredibly perturbed by her actions, and whirls around to strike her with a discus punch. But Alix counteracts his attack, by slashing him with a dropsault. He dips backwards into the ropes, but comes back full force with a lariat. Yet, by the time his slow moving body is anywhere near Ally, the Hollywood Bad Girl has already sunk to the mat, flooring him with a drop toe hold! So concerned with the mounting pain in his busted nose, The HI-YAH world champion fails to notice Alix further mocking his mound of blubber, by jokingly gliding her fingers along her cute little six pack. With a coy smile, she replays the gesture once more, partially to make sure she got all six, but mostly to demean Faqu with her angelic physique. MONEYMAKER Is this the state of celebrity in America? No longer do we have images of moral value such as Chuck Heston to admire. Now we have bubble brained starlets like Alix Spezia frequenting places with names like Lesborado to observe sexual rituals that would've been declared downright satanic in any time period in history, except the late Roman Empire! Unwilling to play Al's dupe any longer, The HI-YAH wrestler springs off the canvas with an elbow strike. The blow barely grazes Alix on the cheek, but does just enough damage to permit him to whip her into the ring ropes. Upon her return his leg flashes out for a big boot (or big barefoot in his case), but she easily evades his attack and continues to the opposite end of the ring. Unfortunately, when she nears the edge of the battleground, she's victimized by Blonde's trickery, as the Vancouver native lowers the ropes, causing her to take a catastrophic tumble to the outside. The stadium crowd holds it's collective breath, as they watch their heroine sail through the air. Thankfully, their fears are unfounded as Alix lands with splendid grace on her boots. The favorable landing, does not deter JB from attempting to cheat his way to victory, however. He springs off the apron, fists raised into an axe handle smash. His blow fails to land, thanks to Alix impaling his flabby midsection with a dropkick! As the audience celebrates Ally's attack, Blonde plummets into the grass, kicking up a cloud of misty brown (is that color even brown?) dirt. COLE I miss the German guys from last week. At least they still looked good when they were getting humiliated. MACKENZIE You can take away their working visas, but not their washboard abs. Alix returns to squared circle, but finds her sustained offensive salvo cut short by a front facelock from Faqu. The restraints laid by his squat arms are much to strong for Alix to even consider breaking through. Thus she simply steels herself in preparation of his incoming attack. He lifts her into the air, then quickly drives her downward with a vertical suplex. The pudgy Islander then drapes his 301 pounds across her sore body for a pinfall... ONE Alix preforms a speedy kickout, giving rise to a large pop from the audience. Mumbling about a slow count, The HI-YAH champion guides the culinary sensation to her feet, and hurls her into the ring cables. Fortunately, she returns to her rival with a crossbody block! But Faqu catches her within his massive wingspan and rockets her overhead with his trademark belly to belly suplex! But the sex kitten avoids certain doom by coming down in an attack position. Moving with supernatural speed, The Hollywood Bad Girl darts to the grappler, who greets her incoming charge with a measured palm strike. But she shoots beneath his weapon and travels into a vacant corner. As camera flashes litter the tightly packed venue, she escalates to the top turnbuckle and throws herself off with majestic corkscrew moonsault press! Yet the Miami native has enough sense and speed to sidestep the nose-diving Los Angelina. And as an unfortunate result the brunette hits the mat with a massive impact, her cries of despair music to the ears of the one Faqu fan in the galaxy. The Samoan crawls over to the champion and hooks her legs for a cover. ONE TWO Ally Cat rips her shoulder off the mat, delighting the sold out Oklahoma crowd. However, the kickout does nothing to derail the freight train known as Faqu, and he latches onto Alix's curly brown locks in order to haul her upright. He drags her towards his corner, where his hand meets James Blonde's for the tag. MACKENZIE Jimmy Blonde, the mover from Vancouver, back into the match. If he loses his hair, are we required to call him Jimmy Bald, or do we pretend as if nothing has happened? JB enters the contest with a suspicious smirk perverting his grizzled face. His undue arrogance does little to endure him to the crowd, and a small collection of grade schoolers in the front row pepper him with "BLONDE SUCKS!" chants. Ignoring the pre-pubescent call for his head, Jimmy B ravages Alix's busty chest with a pair of stinging knife edge chops. Wailing in a mixture of annoyance and pain, she rotates her figure and holds her arms in front of her barely there top. While this protects her upper body, it leaves her lower body open to any manner of viscous assaults, and JB unleashes a hellstorm of shoulder blocks into her bare rib cage. "LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!" Once he ceases his parade of shoulder blocks, he raises his arm into the air, preparing to slice her in half with one mighty Tomahawk chop of his limb. But the quick lass ducks bellow his elevated arm, and puts her new found freedom to excellent use, shoving him into her previous position in the corner. He has little time prepare a suitable defense, and Alix plasters his pasty white chest with a barrage of whirling kicks. In spite of the ferociousness the kicks are delivered with, Blonde is able to subdue the whirling dervish by simply elbow striking her to the canvas. While his enemy remains a wailing wreck, JB brings his burly partner into the affair. MONEYMAKER I at least have a smidgen, a minuscule amount of respect for the gay male. The gay male is a group who has cultivated a niche market of power, however immoral and reprobate, for themselves. What is a lesbian? A lesbian is a woman who in fifteen years of scrapping and clawing still makes thirty percent less then the national average. A lesbian, regardless of how famous she is in the case of Krista and Alix, is a woman who knows no one and who nobody cares to know. A lesbian has zero clout or influence in society. Why? Because a woman can not succeed without a man behind her. The only thing Krista has ever had behind her is a lubed up piece of plastic! Faqu peels Alix's limp figure off the canvas, and situates her into a double underhook. The Hollywood Bad Girl stages a fierce resistance against his clutches, thrashing and kicking her body with amazing might. But her efforts are for naught, as Faqu lifts her into the sky with an unerring ease. After several seconds of allowing the blood to flood into her head, the Islander dives backwards, pulverizing her fragile bones on the rock solid mat. She shoots upright, her pained yells filling open air. But she's quickly muffled by three hundred one pounds of blubber, as Faqu lies on top of her for a pinfall... ONE TWO But Alix escapes the pinfall, and the audience is ecstatic as a result. Faqu, of course, does not partake in their enthusiasm, and directs several heated words towards the referee. Tired of his whining, the same grade schoolers who heckled Blonde demand that Faqu shut his mouth and get out the ring! Amazingly The Islander agrees to their request, and with lowered head tags his Canadian associate into the affair. With predatory blue eyes, Jimmy B. watches the distressed maiden slowly step to her feet. When she rises fully upright, her wobbly body is trapped within a double chicken wing. He quickly ties her hands behind her back, making escape all but impossible. Blonde then raises her into the sky, before falling backwards and dropping her directly onto her neck. Flashes of pain spark through her body, and lead heart wrenching screams to erupt from her throat. These shrieks convince the Western Canadian that the champion is on the brink of destruction, and he eagerly attempts a pin... ONE TWO Much to JB's dismay, Alix isn't as nearly as crippled he believed, and the perky brunette triumphantly kicks out! "LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!" The rowdy stadium goers sing. JB launches The Hollywood Bad Girl towards the ropes. His knee raises towards her returning head, but she quickly swoops away from the approaching bullet. Her boots drive her towards Faqu, who's elbow is already cocked in preparation for a lethal strike. But his plan encounters great failure, as Ally shoves him off the apron with a high knee lift! As the blubbery gladiator is launched through the night sky, the audience shakes the bleachers with their cheers. Even when his bare feet land on the soft grass, their mood isn't worsened and they resume their chants of, "ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!" Spurred on by their show of support, the bodacious sex kitten directs a running forearm smash at her in ring foe. But he evades the strike by swinging around charging body, and trapping her into a waistlock. He lifts her up, and falls backwards, dropping her onto her neck with a bridged German Suplex. As tears flow freely from Alix's cheek, the referee scores the pivotal fall... ONE TWO Alix pulls her shoulder of the canvas, enraging the jobber-4-life, but pleasing the fans. Defeated by the massive frustration over being unable to deliver the fatal blow, the dejceted Blonde allows his more malicious partner to return to the affair. Realizing that every attempt to pin Alix's shoulders to the canvas for three measly seconds has been struck down by humiliating failure, Faqu decides to strangle her into submission. He joins her on the canvas, and collars his enormous arm around her neck,the limb suffocating her delicate throat like the most gruesome of boa constrictors. Held towards her rivals' corner, all Alix's tear stained eyes can see is the barbaric smile of James Blonde, and the stadium scoreboard which cruelly displays the maddening distance between her bone weary body, and Krista. Robinson drops to his stomach, asking Alix if she wishes to throw in the towel. The answer is an emphatic shout of "No!", a defiant cry that leads the angry Islander to further wrench on her neck. "LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!" the audience chants, as Krista beats her palms against the turnbuckles. A second toque of the neck, pulls and strains Alix's ligaments, and her strong statements of survival are replaced by shrill wails of torture. Her arm lightly flaps at her side, barely able to muster enough strength to weakly elbow Faqu in the rib cage. As he feels the strength being drained from her near lifeless body, The Samoan senses the end is near, and multiplies the pressure of his hold. Robinson detects no signs of life from the fan favorite, and lifts her arm into the sky. The limb plummets downward, filling the apron based Blonde with great anticipation over his first OAOAST title victory. Robinson raises the arm once more, and again it falls to the wayside. COLE One more drop and we'll have new champions! Up goes the arm, and up goes prayers and wishes from the audience, who plead with the lord above to will Alix through the devastating submission move. Their desires and dreams are answered, as Alix somehow manages to keep her limb elevated! "YEAAAAAA!" A look of stupefied furor warps Faqu's already grotesque visage. But all the grousing and complaining does nothing to change the fact that his efforts to choke Alix out of her title reign have failed thus far. Her fists are clenched into tiny balls, desperately leading her charge to freedom. Emitting deep throated growls, Faqu wrenches back repeatedly, tugging on the head in a frantic attempt to subdue the Californian. But the plucky underdog refuses to submit, and her jelly legs expend great energy to push her to her feet. Inching upright, Alix is wondrously close to a standing position. A fact that her troubled foe is well to aware of! He looks with pleading eyes towards Blonde for assistance. JB answers the call for help in a truly despicable away; brazenly storming into the squared circle, and rifling his boot into her face. The magnificent blow rips Ally away from the deadly submission hold, but deals tremendous damage to her face, and leaves her a quivering heap of flesh and bones on the ring floor. C.Rob tries to admonish Blonde for his tactics, but the Canadian will hear none of it, retreating to his corner with an unapologetic grin. "BOOOOOO!" the fans jeer, as Krista cusses and howls over the cheap shot. Amid the hate tinged chaos, Faqu tries another pin for his squad. ONE MONEYMAKER You are now witnessing the end of the Sodom and Gomorrah atmosphere these women have corrupted our company with! TWO Krista can contain herself no longer! The blond bombshell darts into the ring, and miraculously manages to baseball slide the hunk of lard off her petite girlfriend. The astounding momentum of the crowd popping strike, shoves Faqu into his corner, where his bronzed skin is slapped by his associate. Ignoring his partner's complaints over the unwelcome tag, JB focuses himself on the task of pulverizing Alix. Taking hold of her trembling wrist, he leads her to her feet, then slings her into the cables. The ropes return her into an elbow strike that shears her skull and rips her from her feet. She yells in rage and pain, thrusting a smile of intense gratification onto JB's face. Affording her no time to recover from her wounds, Blonde peels the champion from the canvas. His hand flicks out in a knife edge chop, tearing apart the fabric of her scanty bikini top. He cocks his arm to deliver another flesh searing strike, but his offense is grounded to an abrupt halt when a chop explodes across his pecs. Four more chops terrorize the now bloody flesh of the challenger, giving birth to a rousing ovation from the audience. More motivated to protect his shredded flesh then effort any sort of attack, The Mover from Vancouver dispatches his rankling rival to the ropes. This tactic grants him a three second reprieve from her onslaught, but when she returns she reintroduces him to a world of hurt, pummeling him with a flying forearm! "YEAAAAAA!" MONEYMAKER You're two hundred pounds and you just got knocked out by a bulimic piece of white toxic waste? Good lord, man! Both competitors topple to the canvas, rippling the ring with their extraordinary impact. Instantly the crowd, and Krista undertake the task of motivating Alix, chanting her name and stamping their feet in unison. However it's the despised villain, James Blonde who stirs first. Even in his weakened state, the veteran has enough ring savvy to block Ally's path to freedom. As her exhausted bones slog their way past the pain to stand upright, the Samoan Bulldozer sneaks into the squared circle. When she stands fully erect, the beast charges forward, intending on flattening her with his bulk. But thanks to a quick glance towards the outfield scoreboard, Ally spots the fast approaching hulk and dives out of the way! Unable to put the breaks on in time, Faqu's body collides with his aghast partner, sending the smaller man hurtling through the skies. Both gladiators land with a sharp thud, a delightful sound to the millions of COD fans world wide. MACKENZIE And you wondered why I never bothered to watch a HI-YAH show. With Faqu and James Blonde incapacitated by their own crass stupidity, the bone tired Alix makes the long awaited tag to Krista Isadora Duncan, then promptly sinks to the mat in exhaustion "YEAAAAAA!" Camera flashes litter the night sky, as the vicious vixen flings herself over the ropes with a dropkick aimed to the chest of a rising Faqu. Though her one hundred dollar shoes impale his meaty flesh, his massive poundage refuses to go down, instead tottering backwards, thrown entirely off balance. Annoyed with his ability to withstand her awesome aerial strike, Krissy tosses the HI-YAH world champion into the ropes. She ducks her head as the big man returns from the cables, but he hops over the champ and lands behind her. He twirls around to knock her head off her neck with a palm strike, but Krissy shocks him with a crowd thrilling knee to his Samoan Jewels! He clutches his Island coconuts, and screams in terrible anguish, as the crowd hoots and hollers over his misery. The audience is then treated to further pleasure as the fitness queen winds up and annihilates his boorish snout with a superkick! MACKENIZE I think that sequence is called "Krista's Great California Adventure". Uh, not that I make it my hobby to keep up with vital information about Krista or Alix, mind you. I just know because..uh...Simon told me. COLE Oh no doubt, I bet you don't even know Alix's birthday. MACKENZIE (rapidly, involuntarily eager to prove Cole wrong) December 15th 1977, born in San Juan Capistrano, California to Hector Spezia and Roxanne Daye, moved to Los Angeles at the age of seven...(Realizing she's fallen into Cole's trap Mackenzie quickly covers her mouth.) Eeep! While crimson liquid spews from Faqu's nose , Krista drags out a pink Revlon compact mirror out her baseball jersey (what else does she have in there?!), and flips it open to ask pressing question, "Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, who is the baddest bitch of them all? There was a rubble dubble, five minutes it's lasted, the mirror said you are 'you conceited bastard'." Secure in the knowledge that she is the baddest bitch in all the land, Krista chucks her mirror into the bleachers, where a donnybrook over the valued souvenir. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" MONEYMAKER This is my punishment for leaving the fate of American morality in the hands of a Samoan, a race of people who are so stupid I doubt their combined brainpower would be sufficient to beat a chimp in a spelling bee! Unlike the audience, Blonde is unamused by Krissy's conceited antics. He rushes to the second rope, seeking to blast her with a springboard back elbow. But before he can even leave his perch atop the cable, the Hollywood Covergirl has ventured to his location. He's offered no opportunity to stage a defense, as Krista's arms snake around is neck, and drive him downward with a inverted DDT! COLE You don't often see that move from there! MONEYMAKER And you don't often hear a billion dollar heir with cash to burn use this phrase..I CAN'T BELIEVE I PAID MONEY FOR THIS SHIT!!!! Ever the vain one, the blond bombshell pays tribute to the original blond bombshell, Marilyn Monroe, by mimicking her "Updraft" pose, tossing her hand to the middle of her skirt, crossing her knees, and flashing an irresistible smile of embarrassed innocence. Unfortunately her moment of arrogance, has allowed The Samoan to recover his strength, and he closes in on her with a roaring charge! But thanks to always helpful outfield scoreboard, she spots his approach. Her arm leads the rotation of her body, swinging forward to paste him with a forearm. He catches hold of her limb, and roughly twists her into the clutches of James Blonde. Facing away from Krista, his arm hooks around her neck, setting up a potential neck breaker. But his efforts go no further then that, as Krista's hands clamp down on his face. Her fingers clogging his vision and suffocating his breath, he's powerless to stop her from plummeting downwards and making him the latest victim of her finisher Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (reverse face crusher)! The impact of the move earthquakes the surrounding area, and besieges Blonde with terrible woe. The onlookers erupt in unison upon the extraordinary completion of KID's finisher. "K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!" Much dissimilar to previous incarnations of the move, no pinfall follows thanks to meddling from Faqu. He watches her head to her feet, then streams towards the femme fatale with a malodorous lariat! Thankfully for her fitness career, Krista keeps her facial features intact, performing the tried and true matrix counter , bending her flexible body backwards. The misfiring Faqu skids to a screeching halt, but isn't deterred by his gaffe, and rips around to retry his failed lariat. He's quickly shown the erroneous nature of this strategy when KID kips up and scrambles his brains with a sweet enziguri! Unfortunately for Krista, Faqu doesn't have many brains to be scrambled in first place, thus he is quick to shrug aside the pain and rise from the canvas. Krista tries to make a move to the ring ropes, but his arms jut out, capturing her with beefy claws. The beast presses her into the sky, fulling intending on throwing her as far as his mammoth strength will allow. However, these intentions never see the light of reality. Thanks to the fact that her exposed skin is soaked in baby oil, she's easily able to slip free of his clutches. The exact second she lands behind her foe, her hands tighten around his bearded face, bringing forth a pop from those fans who know what signature move is forthcoming. The rest of the fans quickly join in with raucous cheers as Krista thunderclaps the giant to the canvas with the Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (reverse face crusher) Faqu lies helpless on the canvas, a pale faced, and trembling skeleton. Krista extends her arm forward to hook his leg for a crucial pinfall. The audience gets to their feet and counts along with each slap of the mat. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO MONEYMAKER Why? Why? Why? Why? CROWD THREE!! A monstrous cheer of joy spews from the throats of the audience, filling the stadium, and pouring to the outside walkway bellow. Blonde remains sunken on the canvas, his thinning hair obscuring his sorrowed face. The HI-YAH heavyweight champion isn't even capable feeling any negative emotions, as his entire mind is consumed by the soaring physical pain. Girlfriend returns to the loud speaker, while Buffer readies the official announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, making the ninth successful defense of their third World Tag Team titles, America's Sweethearts, CHICKS OVER DICKS! The stadium crowd erupts with cheers once more. Alix wraps her arms around a grounded Krissy's shoulder, and shouts words of gratitude directly into Krissy's ears. The sweet (but noisy) gesture isn't exactly welcomed by Krissy thanks to the fact Alix decided to take up the habit chewing tobacco about three seconds before the kiss. Regardless of Krissy's qualms over Alix's choice of vices, the whole debacle sky rockets Moneymaker's blood pressure through the stratosphere. COLE How about that! Another successful tag title defense for America's Sweethearts, this time handily defeating the HI-YAH heavyweight champion. MONEYMAKER Though there are no true Americans in attendance tonight, I address the many watching at home. I will continue to fight on behalf of you, your children, and this great country, and I will combat these women personally, because they are a special breed of evil doer! They are estranged from the holy lord from the womb, speaking lies by nature, and their malice and obstinacy is likened to venomous serpents infecting all mankind with their perverse and satanic homosexuality. Their presence here is nothing but a pagan orgy of idolatrous blasphemy! You will not be required to endure their filth much longer. MACKENZIE And speaking of pagan orgies, in only a few short minutes our trusted companion, Christian Wright, will dispose of that worthless twit Leon Rodez once and for all. MONEYMAKER Not only would that make my day, it would make my entire year! COLE Don't get overly excited, Leon is a tough customer, he won't go down that easy. Fans we will return with our mainevent. Back to the boiler room we go. BOHEMOTH And you continued on, doing your rotten deeds, like last year. Remember your match with Drek Stone at World Without End? THA PUERTO RICAN How could I forget? He pulled a gun on me. BOHEMOTH I'm starting to wish that gun had bullets inside. PRL Hey! BOHEMOTH Shut up. PRL Shutting up, sir. BOHEMOTH Remember after that match, how everyone felt sorry for you? People...were actually pitying you! I never thought that could happen, but it did. And for a while, it looked like you changed. It looked like you had become a new man. A man with a new attitude, new outlook on life. And I admit, even I thought you were telling the truth for once. But it all turned out to be a charade. A fraud. All so that you could win some gold again. PRL starts to crack a smile. BOHEMOTH Oh, you remember this, don't you? PRL Oh yeah. I sure do! What a great moment in my career! BOHEMOTH A great moment, huh? It wasn't so great for D*LUX! It wasn't so great for Tyler Bryant and Shayne Brave. It wasn't so great to have them lose the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles they worked so hard far because they got duped. It wasn't so great to have a budding friendship broken because you are so full of hatred for your fellow man that doing things like betraying D*LUX is as normal to you as brushing your teeth! PRL is laughing. BOHEMOTH STOP LAUGHING! PRL stops laughing. BOHEMOTH P.R., you are SUCH a low life piece of scum. There's no good in you. I thought there was, but no. You are rotten to the core. D*LUX trusted you. And yet you betrayed them! Don't you feel the least bit guilty about it? PRL No...not really. BOHEMOTH PRL, you just don't get it. PRL What is there to get? Bohemoth runs his hands through his hair as it's quite obvious that PRL is very stubborn. Not to mention a huge dick. COMMERCIAL BREAK COMING UP NEXT A rivalry renewed Leon Rodez Vs The Natural Christian Wright NEXT Edited May 20, 2007 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 18, 2007 (edited) The (TV) screen goes black, and the following appears on the screen. The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Soft music accompanied by wind instruments plays, and a spotlight slowly raises over an all black wrestling ring with red ring ropes. (voiceover) In the beginning, the land was pure. Even in the early morning light, you could see the beauty in the forms of nature. Head shot of Alfdogg looking off into the distance. Soon men and women of every color... Shot of an Asian man doing martial arts poses in the shadows. And shape... Shot of an overweight tattooed man wearing colorful clothing. Would be here too. And they would find it all too easy sometimes not to see the colors... Shot of Chris Stevens smashing said tattooed man from behind with a mirror. ...and to ignore the beauty in each other. Shot of Alf delivering a beltshot to CWM. But they would never lose sight of the dream. Head shot of Stevens looking off into the distance. The bitter world that they could unite... Head shot of Axel staring off into the distance. And build together...in Triumph. As the last line is spoken, a camera shot from the ground is shown with a red tint, with Rick Heyross, Alfdogg, and Axel standing left to right and looking down into the camera smiling. The screen then fades into another announcement. World Domination Wrestling presents: WDW Triumph Coming Saturday, June 2 Can You Feel It? One more time we go to the boiler room where Bohemoth is pacing back and forth. The crowd cheers. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is still sitting in his chair, blindfolded, with the table and the lamp being all that's there in the boiler room. PRL is shaking in his shoes as Bohemoth stares at him. BOHEMOTH So, we're almost there. Houston, Texas. School's Out. May 27th. You. Me. Hell In A Cell. And PRL, this won't be a match you'll win. I'm being perfectly honest here. PR, you're going to indeed know what hell is like when I meet you in the squared circle on May 27th. You're going to get hurt. And I'm pretty sure it'll be the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Y--yo-you can't take it easy on me? P--p--please? Bohemoth chuckles. BOHEMOTH No, P.R. For if I take it easy, then the fans, and the OAOAST Superstars will be disappointed. You see, this is a match they've been waiting to see for FOUR YEARS. And I intend to make sure that this match lives up to the hype. THA PUERTO RICAN *Gulp* BOHEMOTH Tell me, P.R. What day did you debut in the OAOAST? PRL Uh...March...March 10, 2003. BOHEMOTH March 10, 2003 huh? So, that means you've been in the OAOAST for four years. By School's Out, you would have been in the OAOAST for 1,538 days. So that means, I'm going to punch you 1,538 times in the Hell In A Cell Match. Because every punch will be a punch for a day you've gone unpunished. Every punch will be for everyone single fan, wrestler, and OAOAST personnel who is sick to death of you. Every punch will be painful, but even then, it STILL won't match up to the pain you've caused OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS! No, P.R., despite all the pain you will endure in the Hell In A Cell, it still won't be enough to make up for what you've done. There's a special place in Hell for you, PRL. And on Sunday, May 27th at School's Out, you will get a special sneak preview of it. Tha Puerto Rican lets out a strange noise. He sniffles. PRL then lets out a louder noise. He then lets out an even louder noise. BOHEMOTH Are you...crying? THA PUERTO RICAN ...No. *Sniffle* BOHEMOTH You're crying. You're actually crying! There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN WRESTLING! PRL (whisper) I'm sorry. BOHEMOTH What was that? PRL (a little louder) I'm sorry. BOHEMOTH What? I couldn't hear you? PRL OH I'M SORRY! YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT!? I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR CRUSHING THE MAD CAPPA'S LARYNX! I'M SORRY FOR KIDNAPPING AND HURTING LAUREN GELLAR! I'M SORRY FOR SCREWING D*LUX! I'M SORRY FOR TURNING MY BACK ON COLOMBIAN HEAT! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY CHEATING VICTORY I'VE EVER HAD! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY LIE, EVERY CHEAP SHOT, EVERY BEATDOWN I'VE EVER DONE! AND I'M SORRY--OH LET'S JUST SAY I'M SORRY FOR EVER BEING BORN! Tha Puerto Rican breaks down and cries his eyes out. Bohemoth just watches. PRL puts his head on the table and bawls away. Bohemoth stands up and walks on over so that he's standing only two feet away from Tha Puerto Rican. BOHEMOTH Good. Good. You confessed. You have repented for your sins. Unfortunately for you...it's too late to be saved. No. The Hell In A Cell Match will still take place as planned. And it will still be the final match of your career. On May 27th at School's Out, the world will witness PR's Last Stand. For every fan who's had to put up with your CRAP for four years, this match is for them. I'm going to enjoy this match, but not in the way you would enjoy it. No, I'm going to enjoy it because I am going to be the man who stops this terror in the OAOAST. On May 27th, I will be the man who kills the P.R. Menace. On May 27th, I will be the man who puts you on the injured list PERMANTELY. Karma has brought you to Houston, Texas and School's Out. Every bad thing you have ever done has come back to bite you in the ass. And hey, since you won't be around to cash it in, why don't we put that Golden Contract on the line? PRL nods his head quickly. BOHEMOTH Very good. So, in two weeks time, I will have gotten rid of you and have come one step closer to the World Heavyweight Title. P.R., get ready, say your prayers, because in two weeks time, BO'S...GONNA...KILL...YOU! Bohemoth raises his right fist, and then lunges after Tha Puerto Rican! But then stops right before he hits his face! PRL is trembling in fear. Bohemoth gives PRL an angry face and then simply walks away. The crowd hears the sound of a door close, which leads one to assume that Bohemoth has left Tha Puerto Rican alone in the boiler room. PRL collapses onto the floor and starts crying again, quivering like a bowl full of jelly. The crowd is stunned. COLE Wow. COACH My God. COLE Tha Puerto Rican will meet Bohemoth in a Hell In A Cell Match with the Golden Contract on the line. It's one-half of the double main event at School's Out on May 27th. But what I want to know is, after tonight, is PRL mentally prepared to step into the Cell? DON'T FORGET SCHOOL'S OUT, SUNDAY MAY 27TH It'll be like the Alamo all over again (Sorry Texas.) COLE It's baton down the hatches time. Oklahoma City is no stranger to a street fight or two I'm sure, so our main event should be right down these people's alley. So to speak. It's a "Sooner City Street Fight", which means No Disqualifications, anything and everything is legal tonight! For the first time since AngleSlam of 2005, Leon Rodez goes one on one with his old nemesis Christian Wright. But tonight it's not about any past history between these two. Tonight, Leon Rodez looks to get through another Enterprise obstacle on his way to getting his hands on the man he holds responsible for leading his sister to the 'darkside' as it were, Theodore Moneymaker. COACH Well, it had better be about more than Theodore Moneymaker if Leon holds out any hope of getting what he wants, let me tell you now. I know Christian pretty well and he came to the OAOAST with one goal in mind; to eliminate Leon Rodez. And the fact he didn't succeed haunts him to this day. Tonight, there's No Disqualifications and still questions over just how healed up Rodez's neck really is. Tonight may be the night Christian Wright finally makes good on his first promise. COLE Last week, Leon Rodez went through CPA in New Orleans in an impromptu match. No such problems this week. Theodore Moneymaker has managed to get this match fastchecked through and signed up, I'm sure Moneymaker wants to get Rodez out of his hair as soon as possible. COACH No doubt. And who better than his right hand man, CDubya? COLE CDubya? ...nevermind. Folks, this promises to be a real slobberknocker. Unfortunately, as Jivin' JR is contracted to WDW, he won't be here to say that and technically myself and Coach'll shouldn't either. But it wouldn't be Oklahoma without it now would it? "BREEEAAAK!!" "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool powers through the Bricktown Ballpark and straight out of first base come The Enterprise representatives. Plural, as Christian Wright walks out behind Mackenzie DeCenzo, The Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise leading out the Financial Analyst. With his trusty briefcase in hand, Wright straightens out his jacket and tie as he marches with his head held high, brushing off the advances of the Oklahoma fans. BUFFER The following contest is your Main Event of the evening and is a Sooner City Street Fight! Introducing first, he is accompanied to the ring by The Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise, MACKENZIE DECENZO! Now residing in Washington, D.C... weighing in at eight and one-third BARS of GOLD! He is the Financial Analyst for THE ENTERPRISE... "THE NATURAL" CCHHHRRRRRRIIIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAANN WWRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Eight and a third bars of gold, wow! COLE What the hell does that even mean? COACH It means moolah. Dosh. Cash. Scratch. Wonga. Mazzingah. Wazoo. Shabam. Money baby, pure money! COLE Weren't those all 1980's hair-metal bands? Climbing the ring steps with arrogance dripping off of him (at least I think that's what it is), Christian ducks into the ring and raises the briefcase for all of Oklahoma to see. Boos again ring out over the applause of Mackenzie DeCenzo, Christian sticking his nose up at the reception as he removes of his expensive entrance garb. He entrusts his briefcase to Mackie, who leaves the ring and places it carefully underneath the bottom rope, making sure not to disturb the valuable papers inside. COLE Christian certainly doesn't look too worried, but he's about to come face to face with an old enemy in just a few moments. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" .:CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. The crowd cease the chants and on cue they erupt, as batting clean-up, out storms LEON RODEZ!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER And, from Grand Rapids Michigan... weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Not breaking stride, Leon dives into the ring before the introductions are even over with, Wright ducking himself between the top and middle ropes and calling for referee Charles Robinson to keep The Grand Rapids Golden Child at bay! Leon holds up his hands defensively as Robinson backs him up, not after any sneak-attacks but eager to get the match underway. COLE What a reaction for Leon Rodez in Oklahoma tonight! COACH Eh, I'm sure that's a nice little comfort for him now his sister isn't there to clap and cheer his every move. But these fans don't mean a thing to CDub, trust me. As Leon hops around impatiently in his corner, Wright passes his tie and shirt out of the ring along with his jacket, taking his time over getting himself ready. Finally he seems to be suitably undressed though and with some last words of encouragement from Mackenzie he turns to the man he warred with for so long in 2005 and stares him down. *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds, Wright wheels around and snatches his briefcase back from under the bottom turnbuckle, rushing at Rodez... but he gets cut off with a boot to the gut! Right hand from Leon! And another! A third! A fourth! Wright is still hanging onto the briefcase but only by the handle now, as yet another big right rocks him. Fired up, Leon reels around to drum up yet more support from the crowd. But as he does so he finally remembers the briefcase, snatching out of Wright's hands and quickly bringing it down... MACKENZIE ...NO! BLOCKED BY WRIGHT! COACH Oh, that was close! Able to get his hands up and block, a tug of war ensues over the metal briefcase for a moment before Wright finally lands with a kick to the gut. The briefcase goes flying out of the ring, the least of Wright's concerns now as he looks to payback Rodez, firing away a couple of big right hands of his own. As Leon gets backed up, Wright throws in a European Uppercut to mix things up, one more punch putting Leon up against the ropes and setting up an irish whip. Ducking his head early, Wright soon regrets that though, as he gets caught with a kick hard in the chest! That snaps him upright, for a clothesline that snaps him down to the canvas! And The Silky Smooth One is ALL fired up! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Up staggers CW, walking right into a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Wright upside the head with the enziguri! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Through the ropes and to the outside goes Christian. Whether it's through his own fruition or not is another matter as he stumbles into the barricade, Mackenzie ready to rush over to his aid until she realises Leon is going to beat her to it. She manages to scuttle away but Wright is not so lucky, Leon spinning him around and ramming his face into the guardrail! The over-zealous fans in the front row pat The Silky Smooth One on the back and just generally annoy Wright as he tries to get away, wandering off around ringside. Rodez follows right behind him, again guiding Wright's head into the top of the guardrail! COLE Remember, anything goes here in this Street Fight, but you have to win the match inside of the ring. COACH And that's what Rodez wants here. Punishing CW is all fine and well, but if he wants to get to Teddy, he's going to have to win this match. Bottom line. Still staggering around ringside, Wright realises that he isn't going to get the breather he's searching for and tries to stave Leon off with some offence rather than defence. However, his kick to the gut is blocked. Rodez catches the boot and with Wright hopping on one leg, he places the other leg on the ring apron. Not showing any great flexibility, that leaves Wright stuck precariously for a moment, long enough for Leon to sweep out the standing leg, dropping Wright with a thud on the ringside mats!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wright clutches his head as Rodez's attention turns to Mackenzie, a look all that's needed to warn her out of getting involved. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With the Oklahoma crowd in his corner, Leon pulls Wright back up... *THUD!* ...and this time rams him head into the announce table, Wright's face bouncing off violently and his eyes rolling as he collapses across the table. COACH That's it Christian, lure him in! Rope-a-dope baby, rope-a-dope! COLE If only someone would rope the dope next to me. As Wright recovers, he's being stalked, Leon lying in wait behind him. Wright takes a moment to discern that the face in front of him isn't his opponent but Michael Cole, the urge to punch him not as great as the urge to punch Rodez, thus he turns around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and takes a knifedge chop across the chest! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second! COLE Man, they are right in front of us! If Leon hits Christian any harder, he's gonna be right in our laps! COACH Phff, you wish! OH! A big right hand almost does indeed send Christian into the laps of our beloved announce team, leaving Wright splayed out across the table. As Coach and Cole quickly grabs their headsets and anything really valuable, Leon grabs Christian by the EARS and lifts his head up off the table, before SLAMMING it back down again! The table shakes underneath Wright from the impact and with The Natural seeing stars, Leon climbs onto the ring apron, pointing down on Wright and asking the crowd whether he should do something so risky as to dive onto him. "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The response is pretty unanimous. COLE Uh-oh! This does not look good for Christian Wright... or our table! Rodez isn't one to disappoint the people and with the crowd behind him, he eyes up the distance to dive... ...and gets an eyeful of Mackenzie DeCenzo, as she scuttles over, positioning herself between the ring and the announce table pleading with Leon not to do what he's thinking of doing. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rolling his eyes, Leon motions for referee Charles Robinson to get Mackenzie out of the way. Technically there's nothing he can do though and Leon's plans are hampered. But, perhaps not ruined. Turning his head to the right, Leon again asks the crowd what they think he should do. "JUMP!" "JUMP!" "JUMP!" "JUMP!" And again, unanimous. COLE Uh... Mackenzie might want to get herself out of the way. Quickly. Leon turns his attentions back to Wright who still hasn't been able to peel himself off the table. And a smirk creeps across Rodez's face. Suddenly Mackenzie doesn't feel quite so brave and begs for her own safety as well as her fellow Enterprise member's, but Leon's mind is set, leaning back into the ropes and LAUNCHING HIMSELF OFF THE APRON... *CRASH!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND RIGHT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, SOLO, AS MACKENZIE DRAGS CHRISTIAN CLEAR!!!! COACH HAHA!! Brilliant! COLE My God! Leon Rodez, crashing and burning right through our announce table! And just in the nick of time, Mackenzie DeCenzo came to the aid of Christian Wright, otherwise he'd been somewhere amongst the wreckage as well! COACH But he's not! He was saved, thanks to an ingenious move from Mackie, drawing Rodez into a false sense of security and letting him wipe himself out! COLE False sense of security!? Give me a break! Mackenzie and Christian look amazed to have escape unscathed, Mackie checking that CW is okay after noticing a lump on his head. A bump on the noggin seems pretty tame in comparison to Rodez's predicament as he lays on top of the remnants of the table, holding his ribs after his missed dive. Wright seems to be okay to continue thankfully, the small bruise on his forehead not enough to stop this tremendous competitor~! Dragging Leon out of the table wreckage, Wright drags him and tosses him back into the ring where the match can be won, but doesn't follow after him, taking his time to adjust his elbowpads. With those sorted, Wright then seems to check on his pants. However, it's certainly not for aesthetics that he removes the leather belt from around his waist. COACH Oh yeah! Whip him like a government mule, bah gawd! COLE Well, that's a lawsuit. With the belt looped in his hand, Wright stalks over Rodez now, daring him to get to his feet. Grimacing, Rodez tries to do just that, but as soon as he reaches all-fours... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...he gets WHIPPED right across the back with the leather belt!! COACH Take him to the woodshed! *THWACK!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" A second time the belt comes down, Leon's back beginning to welt up already. As he writhes in pain, Leon finds himself in even greater trouble now though as Wright wraps the belt around his throat and pins him chest-down on the mat with a boot, pulling up on the belt AND CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF LEON!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on now! COACH This is business at it's most ruthless Mikey! Infact, you might even call it 'cutthroat business'! Huh? Get it? COLE I get it. And I also get that this is a Street Fight, so anything Christian Wright does here is legal, including trying to choke Rodez until he passes out! Wright doesn't go quite that far, releasing the belt and therefore the choke on the protestations of referee Robinson. Unravelling the tape around his wrists, Wright now brings the near-lifeless Leon up off the canvas, setting him up on the ropes. Wright then looks for an irish whip, bringing Leon out only to arm's length before reeling right back into a Stun Gun! As Rodez's neck whiplashes off the top rope a groan goes through the Oklahoma crowd, concerned for The Silky Smooth One's safety as Wright makes the first cover of the match... 1... 2... Kickout! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE And this crowd trying to get behind Rodez here, trying to will him on with their support. COACH Like that'll help. It was their support that got Leon into this situation in the first place, if he hadn't have gotten so carried away he probably wouldn't have dove through our table! Bringing Leon up again, Wright drives a clubbing forearm in between the shoulder blades. And another. With a front facelock, Wright then sets Leon up, perhaps looking for the Gordbuster or even the Conversation Rate already... BLOCKED! Rodez gets his foot behind Wright's and stops the lift. Freeing his leg, Wright tries again... BLOCKED AGAIN, into a Small Package this time... 1... 2... NO! Wright escapes the cradle and dives onto Leon with a blatant choke, nothing referee Robinson can do about it! Wright grinds away with the choke for a few seconds until the fight seems to escape from Leon, before making a lateral press... 1... 2... Kickout! MACKENZIE Come on Charles, that's lazy and you know it! Leaving Mackenzie to worry about the count, Wright brings Rodez back up again with a front facelock. Again he goes to the back with a forearm, softening Leon up a little more before double underhooking the arms. From there he drags Leon into the centre of the ring before bringing him up and over the shoulder. Leon kicks his legs a little but not enough to put up any real resistance, as Wright drops to his knees, BENDING Rodez's spine over his shoulder!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Nightmare On Wallstreet! That's it, it's over! Wright clearly thinks so too, waving the match off as he hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3- NO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Famous last words Coach! It is not over, not yet! COACH You've got to be kidding me! Both Wright and Mackenzie take issue this time as the referee defends his count, saying it was 2 and seven-eighths. Frustrated, Wright puts his hands on his hips and just glares at Leon trying to fight doggedly back to his feet, before turning to the outside and giving some instructions to Mackenzie. Quickly Mackie scuttles around ringside and retrieves Christian's briefcase, sliding it into the ring for him while he lands a boot upside the head of Rodez. COLE Watch out, this wouldn't be the first time that briefcase scored a knockout in the OAOAST. Usually it's behind the referee's back of course... As Leon tries to shake off the effects of the kickout and crawls towards the ropes, Wright grabs his trusty briefcase and raises it proudly above his head, the lights gleaming off it as as the Oklahoma crowd part-jeer, part try to warn Leon of what's coming. Using the ropes to pull himself up, Leon clutches at his ribs. A grimace etches on his face as he forces himself off the ropes, fists clenched, turning around ready to fight... *THUD!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...RIGHT INTO A HOMERUN SWING WITH THE METAL BRIEFCASE!! COLE Right between the eyes! COACH And that my friends is case closed! As the briefcase settles in the corner, now sporting a noticeable dent on one side, Wright smirks away as he drops down, hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3 NOOOO!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH WHAT!? COLE HE KICKED OUT! Wright sits up with a look of complete shock on his face, locking eyes with Mackenzie who has a carbon copy look on her face on the floor. The Oklahoma crowd are roaring now as Wright scrambles to his feet, collaring referee Charles Robinson and pinning him in a corner as he fumes at the percieved slow count. Robinson insists it was a two again though and Wright storms away, kicking the ring ropes! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd make themselves heard again and try to encourage Leon, as Wright has finally turned his attentions back onto him, crouched down in the corner and encouraging Rodez to get back up. Despite having kicked out of the pin, it's clear Leon's brains have been scrambled by the briefcase shot. And as he slowly climbs to his feet he's dis-orientated, stumbling around in search of Christian who shuffles out of the corner with a Superki... ...DUCKED! Rodez avoids the kick, catching Wright on the way back with an Inverted Atomic Drop, before dropping CW with a right hand in a 'HeartBreaKing' comeback! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Leon fighting back here! I'm sure somewhere Theodore Moneymaker is throwing a fit watching this! Up pops Christian again, taking another right hand! A third time he goes down, CW getting turned into a human pinball now as the adrenaline begins to flow through The Grand Rapids Golden Child! As he comes back up this time Christian throws up his hands and tries to beg off. The time for begging off has long passed though... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and Rodez strikes with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second! Wright is barely standing now as Rodez suddenly detours, retrieving Christian's leather belt just before Mackenzie can get across and pull it out of his grasp. With the belt looped up Leon then strikes CW under the jaw with an uppercut, which exposes the chest again... *THWACK!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...for a 'chop' with the leather belt, knocking Christian clean off his feet!! COLE Good Lord what a sound! As Leon whips the belt around his head and whips the Oklahoma crowd into a frenzy with it, Wright wisely bails out of the ring to gain some respite. Picking up a bottle of water from ringside Christian dumps the entire contents on his burning chest to try and aliviate the pain which doesn't feel do much except make him wet. Eventually Rodez dumps the belt and rolls out of the ring in hot pursuit of Wright again. So concerned with his chest, Wright doesn't notice Leon coming up behind him and grabs him behind the head... *THUD!* ...SLAMMING IT INTO THE RING STEPS!! COACH You know what, this is completely unfair! COLE Since when!? COACH Since the start! Christian is not a brawler, he is not a fan of fighting in these sort of no disqualification matches, never has been. COLE Maybe he should have mentioned it before Moneymaker put him in the match. Wright slumps over the ring steps as underneath the ring searches Leon, coming out with a trash can lid in hand. With the metal lid in hand Leon waits, lining Christian up as he turns around... ...but a knee to the gut cuts him off! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Look at the courage though! Even in this unfamiliar environment Christian is still braving the fight. Bravo sir! COLE Oh brother. As the trash can lid drops safely to the ring apron, in lunges Wright with another knee to buy himself more time to clear his head. Once that's taken care around, CW looks around and suddenly a lightbulb goes off in his head. Front facelock on, Wright hooks Leon up for a suplex, lifting him up and hanging his feet over the ring apron, the crowd getting another sinking feeling as they realise this is the set-up to the Conversion Rate! However, Leon realises at the same time and manages to do something about it besides screaming and booing, jabbing Wright up under the ribs with his free hand. Jab after jab lands as Leon fights off an imminent return to the DL list... and manages to free himself from the facelock, crawling back under the bottom rope and into the ring. At which point, he comes back across the trash can lid... *THUD!* ...and CRACKS Wright over the skull as he climbs to the apron and begins to duck back into the ring!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Wright manages to grab the middle rope in his daze, saving himself from falling to the floor. Rodez pulls him back up on the apron though, hooking him up and bringing him in the hard way with a Suplex! COLE Is that going to be enough... 1... 2... NO! Mackenzie is the sole voice applauding Christian, but more than makes up for the lack in numbers as she screams her support. COLE As both men grow more and more weary, this is turning into a battle of attrition. And I have to believe that Leon has all the motivation to pull him through this match successfully! COACH Phooey. There's no motivation that can match the motivation of money. And Mr. Moneymaker can provide much more of that motivation than anyone I know! Dragging Wright to his feet with him, Leon ducks behind and sets CW up for a back suplex. CW tries to fight him, dropping to his knee and going deadweight. But Rodez gets another surge of energy and lifts him up, all the way up before spinning him out into a Blue Thunder Bomb! COLE IT'S DA BOOM! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Holding his head, Leon realises he needs yet another wind and he's already on his fourth or fifth. Shoving Wright away from him up climbs Leon and across the ring he walks trying to clear his head. Meanwhile Wright drags himself up in the corner, slumped against the turnbuckles and relying on the ropes to keep him up it seems. Rodez turns on his heels and charges, Wright not showing any signs of life... until up comes his boot, catching Leon coming in the jaw! "OOOHHHHHHHHH!" Rodez goes stumbling backwards, as Wright forces himself out of the corner and CONNECTS WITH A SPEAR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH YES! Wearily, Wright hooks up the leg... 1... 2... NO, not enough! WRIGHT THAT'S IT!! In a rare lack of flamboyant prose, Wright makes it pretty clear what he's saying for once as he is clearly tired of the fight and signals for the end. Slowly Leon climbs back up, both men sweating bullets and drained of energy but Leon feeling it all the more after that Spear. Wright is able to measure his man, loading up with the right arm. And as Leon turns around, Wright throws a big Clothesli... ...DUCKED! Wright slams on the brakes and turns around, into a Clothesli... ...DUCKED! It's Leon missing the clothesline this time, Wright setting and throwing a Dropki... ...BLOCKED! Leon catches the legs and as Mackenzie clasps a hand to her mouth in shock, The Silky Smooth One painfully turns Wright s l o w l y over onto his front, pinning his knee into the back and applying a LIONTAMER!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Submission hold! Leon with a modified boston crab... Suddenly, Leon drops to one knee ALMOST BENDING WRIGHT IN HALF!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" MACKENZIE COLE ...OH, MY!! *TAPTAPTAPTAP!* "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE GAVE IT UP! One more obstacle down!! *DINGDINGDING!* Rodez releases the hold right on the bell and looks a very different Leon Rodez from usual. Breathing heavily and with gritted teeth, Leon glares down at the writhing Natural as referee Charles Robinson raises an arm, signalling him as the winner. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEEOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And what an ending to this punishing Street Fight! Leon Rodez put every ounce of anger and frustration behind that submission hold and there was no way Christian could do anything but tap out. The path to Money Manor is still open and if I'm Teddy, I'm sweating a little bit more after what we've seen here tonight. COACH Don't you worry about Theodore Moneymaker. Leon may have won tonight, but The Enterprise didn't become the conglomorate it is today without a few hiccups along the way. COLE From Jonathon Coachman, this is Michael Cole signing off on another edition of HeldDOWN~! We'll see you next week on the last stop before School's Out 2007, goodbye from Oklahoma City! As "Rock The Casbah" plays on, Leon turns his attentions to Mackenzie DeCenzo, who still looks utterly shocked at what she just saw. With a wry smile on his face now, Leon tells Mackie to warn Moneymaker that he's next as he exits the ring, signalling that there's only two more to go as he heads off back down the aisle. With most of the venom gone now Leon is happy to tag a few hands on his way as Mackenzie crawls into the ring, tending to Christian, which is the last image we see before we... FADE OUT. Edited May 18, 2007 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 18, 2007 CREDITS EWC kc Zachary Tony alfie o'green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
