Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 29, 2007 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Confession time : Party Like a Rockstar is ass cheeks, and I can't fuck with that shit no longer. I shit all over that wack track. But I have no better song for a theme, so audiences across the globe must be subjected to it once again. To make up for it they're treated to the flashy, superproduced intro video. Once that's done we witness the logo. FEMALE VOICE OVER And now, courtesy of Budweiser Select, and The OAOAST it is time for HeldDOWN! Fuk an opening announce team! We're taken backstage now to the lavish dressing room of the OAOAST's most elite group, The Enterprise! Not only are we getting footage from our tried and trusted OAOAST camera crew, but also intermittently from the new and improved model 'Siclopse' being waved around by a very pro-active Simon Singleton. It seems everyone is in good spirits in The Enterprise's world as Christian Wright, Mackenzie DeCenzo and Ned Blanchard chat away with their boss, one Theodore Moneymaker, only slightly irritated by Simon flittering around them with the camera. Not quite so 'jovial' are CPA and Jade Rodez who both stand at the back of the dressing room, happy to sip on the champagne and feast on the various mixed vegetables (healthy food for healthy athletes) provided by Mr. Moneymaker's wealth. MONEYMAKER It's like I always say guys, in the end justice will win out. And at the end of the day, we didn't just win out, we 'struck out'! Who knew a couple of Mexicans could be so good at this nation's famous sport? The foursome share a hearty laugh. SINGLETON (off-camera) Yeah, good one Teddy! I mean, it's just a pity we all couldn't win. That would have been... Every head in the room suddenly turns and glares at Singleton, the 'muzac' in the background seeming more eiree than cheerful now. From the OAOAST camera-crew's POV we can see Simon stuttering and stumbling for something to say to take the heat off of himself. And failing. MONEYMAKER Nevermind about that Simon. We all know the mistakes that were made in that match and we all know to take responsibility for those mistakes. It seems the finger of blame is being pointed towards Jade, which Ned seems to notice quickly enough to do something about it. BLANCHARD Yeah Christian! WRIGHT Wha... ME!? Surely you cannot be alludding to miscalculations perpretrated by my good self! BLANCHARD I am. I... think. I'm not 100% sure what you actually said. But, yeah, I am blaming you! You went and knocked poor Jade off the apron, as if she doesn't have enough problems dealing with abuse from her own 'supposed' friends and family, you go and knock her on her BUTT like a braindead clutz! WRIGHT With the greatest of respects to our erstwhile confidant, she was woefully mis-positioned... MONEYMAKER Alright that's enough! Wright and Ned quickly clam up. In the background, Jade looks a little embarrassed over all of this, something which Simon manages to pick up with his ever intrusive camera. MONEYMAKER Let's not dwell on who did what and who's fault it was that Duncan and those two teeny-boppers came out on top. The fact is, at the end of the night, The Enterprise were standing tall. One fluke victory can't take away from the success that myself and Ned achieved, on behalf of us all. Our credibility was maintained at the end of the night. Our stock did not fall. The Enterprise reigned supreme. Infact, I guess you could say, we hit a 'homerun' to save the game on Sunday night. As Moneymaker finishes that sentence, the door to the dressing room swings open and in shuffle LOS CONQUISTADORS, chattering between themselves in Spanish. MONEYMAKER Ah, speaking of which! If it isn't Los Conquistadors! Mackie, get these two men a glass of champagne wouldya. Guys, I want to thank you for your contributions at The Bash. You really redeemed yourselves, after that whole debacle with Los Diablos. Myself and Ned were very grateful. BLANCHARD Yes. Muy grateful-o. The Conquistadors nod their approval, before Uno makes a gesture with his hands. MONEYMAKER HAHA, Si, Si! As promised. Here ya go, one hundred American dollars a-piece for a job well done! As Moneymaker hands over the two hundred dollar bills, the Conqusitadors certainly seem very grateful, bowing and nodding at Teddy in between eyeing the money up. Ned can be seen raising his eyebrows to Simon a little. MONEYMAKER Now, that's not all. See, I've got another little 'assignment' for you. Next week in Tampa, we've got a match worked out for you. One of you, doesn't really matter which I guess, you've got Leon Rodez one on one. Suddenly the Conquistadors look a little less pleased and a whole lot more nervous. MONEYMAKER You did a fine job last week. And you succeeded in getting back into The Enterprise's good books, which believe me is where you want to stay. I'm sure you realise that. Well, next week, you can earn yourself a permanent place in my good books. You two did the job on Sunday. Now, I want you two to FINISH it! Understand? I want Leon Rodez finished. I want you to tear him apart, limb from limb. No remorse. I want you to be ruthless. I want you to be sadistic. I want Leon Rodez destroyed next week in that ring... Noticing Jade watching on behind him, Moneymaker sees the look on Jade's face and seems to change tact a little. MONEYMAKER You see her? That's who you're doing this for, understand! When you step into that ring, I want you to think of her. I want you to imagine that Leon Rodez attacked one of your fourteen brothers and sisters while they were out tending to the bean harvest! I want that fire, that passion inside of you! And I want you to finish the job, next week! For what he did to her. Got it!? Los Conquistadors nod away in their enthusiastic way, before they're sent on the way with a dismissive hand gesture from Moneymaker. Dusting his hands with satisfaction, Moneymaker picks up his glass of champagne again, downs the rest of it and stands up. MONEYMAKER Okay, let's go for a REAL celebration, shall we? A murmur of approval goes up as The Enterprise en mass begin to stand up and file out of the room. The group talk amongst themselves for the mostpart, as Ned specifically stays behind, making sure to hold the door open for Jade, who looks at him with a little suspicion before actually walking through the door. Of course, this gives Ned the perfect chance to check her out from a different 'camera angle'. And Simon too, literally with the Siclopse, which catches Ned's reaction perfectly as he realises he's being watched, all while watching someone else. BLANCHARD Damnit, turn that thing off already! SINGLETON (off-camera) I've got to check it works. Teddy paid $3000 for this thing! BLANCHARD Yeah well, you don't wanna use up all the film before the 'big night', do you? SINGLETON (off-camera) Actually, it's digital, so there is no film. Instead the images are stored on a memory card, which you can insert into... BLANCHARD If you don't pipe down, I'll insert it up your damn... MONEYMAKER (distant) Guys, come on already! The Blonds grumble at each other, before Simon finally shuts the Siclopse off. COLE How about that! Leon Rodez versus a member of Los Conquistadors, next week! Folks, welcome to HeldDOWN! Michael Cole here with The Coach, Great Angle Bash was an amazing show, and tonight's show promises more of the same hard hitting action. In fact we'll have an in ring performance from Abdullah Abir Nerdly when we return from break. COMING UP NEXT Abdullah Abir Nerdly on the hunt for his second win NEXT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 29, 2007 When we return from break, Nas' one good song Hate Me Now plays over the loud speakers. You can hate me now (QB) But I won't stop now (Real Niggas) Cause I can't stop now (Bravehearts) You can hate me now (C'mon) But I won't stop now! You gonna hate me I'ma hate you too Cause I can't stop now (Simple as that) You can hate me now die motherfucker die motherfucker die What little reaction there is, is mostly of the negative variety, and when the Syrian and Canadian flags unfurl from beside the Angletron the hatred grows even harsher. As green spotlights spill onto the stage, the entrance doors part to reveal the most despised member of the 21 child Nerdly family, Abdullah Abir! Lean physique placed comfortably into baggy gold shorts with a brilliant tiger design on the side, Nerdly turns to his image on the Angletron and begins to bow to it's greatness. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making his way to the ring, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada by way of Damascus, Syria he is the self proclaimed pride of the Nerdly family, an inspirational leader of men, a lover of women, a Syrian prince, and a Canadian hero, weighing in at one hundred eighty three pounds he is....ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY! COLE The Nerdlys who have come into the OAOAST have all been warmly received by the fans, but we can't say the same for Abdullah. Abir Nerdly doesn't do himself many favors with his attitude towards the OAOAST, its fans and it's competitors. Nerdly slides into the ring where his foe, a slender fellow, in black biker shorts to match his flowing black hair awaits. BUFFER And his opponent, fighting out of Des Moines, Iowa, weighing in at two hundred pounds, he is DAVIS DUNGEON!! The second Buffer concludes his announcement, Abdullah rips the microphone from his hands. As he arrogantly struts about the ring, the audience doesn't seem overly receptive to what he has to say. ABDULLAH نا لله وقفة قوة داخل واواست! لي المديح لانه ليس هناك احد افضل ، سأقوم بضرب ديستوري بلادي بلادي الاعداء اعد اء وإحلال السلام في الا رض. ثوس الذين يموت يموت! أنا بطل المصارعه العالمي نختلف ستفنى اسفل بلدي قد سحق ليس هناك امل نايوني. يجب على الجميع ان يموتوا جميعا ان يموت الجميع ان يموت! يمو Abdullah Abir Nerdly, Anglemania Twenty Maineventer! COLE Anglemania twenty? COACH Foresight, and long term planning is key to ensuring a healthy, bountiful financial future. Abdullah simply espouses the virtues extolled by all men of high intellect! COLE Well, anyway. Davis Dungeon is a prime prospect in our OAOVW developmental promotion. I know Tony Brannigan has given him rave reviews, let's see how he handles the pressure in the big show. COACH What kind of dumbass name is Davis Dungeon? Who let this man on TV with that kind of name? Abdullah Abir Nerdly, and Johnathan Coachman, those are the kinds of names that break the hearts of the bitches, and crush the spirits of men. The bell signifies the start of this filler match...wait....not filler match..I mean...naw, fuk it i meant filler match. Davis Dungeon fires off a pair of right hands to begin the contest, but Abby blocks the third strike and takes control with a knife edge chop. He grabs onto his foe's arm and whips him into the ropes. Dungeon bounces back with a lariat aimed at his rival's head, but Nerdly counters the attack with an arm drag. The failure doesn't deter Dungeon, however, he comes right up with a knee strike. With Abdullah doubled over, DD traps him with a front facelock. But he gets no farther then that before Nerdly breaks the hold with a series of punches to the stomach. After taking a moment to collect his breath, Abdullah strikes his foe down with flipping dropkick! COACH I wonder how Abdullah feels about Melody's Gunslingers failing to capture the HI-YAH tag titles? COLE Something tells me Abdullah isn't even aware she's managing The Gunslingers. Nerdly grabs Dungeon by the arm then slings him into the corner posts. As Davis' back crashes against the turnbuckles the Syrian prince follows him in with a body splash. But Dungeon delays the lethal strike by raising his foot into Nerdly's bearded face. The Arabic superstar staggers backwards, permitting Dungeon to scramble to the second rope. He flies off his nest with an axe handle smash, but gets met with an elbow into the gut for his troubles. He totters back and forth, under an unbelievable amount of nausea. The ill feelings only get worse, when Nerdly throws him to the cables. As he rebounds off the ropes, his attacker boosts him into the air with a press slam type throw. As the helpless Dungeon descends, AAN grabs his head with a double-handed grip and falls with him, driving his face into the mat! “Praise be to Abdullah!” Nerdly bellows, getting a smattering of jeers in response. Ignoring the poor reception, the Canadian attempts a pin... ONE TWO But Dungeon kicks out, and immediately rises to his feet. He unleashes a bevy of chops into the scrawny chest of his foe. However, Nerdly quickly shuts that sequence down with rake of the eyes. Nerdly then grabs his foe and lifts him over his shoulder so that he is facing upward. He then wraps his arms around the victim's torso and holds him there, targeting a hellish pressure onto the man's back. Dungeon screams out in agony, the pain growing worse when he eyes his foe smiling sadistically on the video screen. COLE Could Nerdly be on the way to his second victory? Not if Dungeon has anything to say about it! The youngster uses his own raw power to peel off Nerdly's side and upend the arrogant grappler with an arm drag. Enraged by the defeat Nerdly rises upright to dish out vengeance, but instead gets dumped to the mat by a back elbow. COLE Davis Dungeon, the youngster from OAOVW, really working to earn himself a spot on the main roster! Excited over the prospects of a victory, Dungeon begins to scrape Abdullah off the mat. But those prospects seem to fade away when The Canadian strikes him with a vile low blow! “BOOOOO!” Dungeon hobbles about the mat, crippled with the anguish of the cheap shot. His afflicted state brings a toothy smile to the face of Nerdly, who's speedy to move in for the kill. He coils his hands around his rival's neck for the making of a sleeper hold. But as quick as he was to apply it, so is Dungeon to escape it, elbowing his out the hold. Free of Nerdlly's clutches he turns to blast the man with a discus punch. Yet, AAN cuts short this effort with a roll up pin attempt! ONE TWO Once again the youthful grappler kicks out. He hops upright, then carries himself to ropes. Upon rebounding he emits a mighty roar before flying towards his enemy with a graceful cross body block. Dungeon crashes into AAN with a tremendous thud, and the warriors sink to the canvas in a pinfall! ONE TWO A kickout by Nerdly. Though Dungeon silently swears that was a three count, he keeps himself together, and heads upright. He churlishly demands that the Edmonton native do the same. Nerdlly follows these orders, but not before striking his foe with a second low blow. Abs watches the Iowa native's face twist and contort with pain, and can't help but chuckle over his misfortune. Once he gets over the comedy of it all, Nerdly swats DD down with a short arm lariat! COACH Cole, we're seeing the main difference between the major leagues and the minor leagues. You can be a big player down in OAOVW, but that don't mean jack once you come up here with the big boys! “Camel clutch!” Nerdly yells in triumph, once again getting a less then favorable response from the fans. With his rival flatted to his chest, a smirking Andullah situates himself on the small of his back, and screams “Praise be to Abdullah!” once more before he pulls the victim's arms up onto his red pleather shorts. He then applies a chinlock, heaping a generous amount of pressure onto the youngster's neck and back. Dungeon can stomach the pain no longer then five seconds, before he screams his submission. BUFFER The winner of the match, Abdullah Abir Nerdly! COLE And it is all over! Abdullah Abir Nerdly with a quick and easy victory! Tell that to Abdullah who reacts as though he just hit a walkoff grand slam in game seven of the world series, running around the ring, pumping his fist into the air, and hooting and hollering. COLE Give me a break! COACH That's no way to treat the Anglemania twenty maineventer! Who do you think his opponent will be? Jenna Malibu? Maya Duncan-Blanchard? Wes Singleton? COLE Good grief, he's preparing to fight a fatal fourway against a baby, and two second graders. Let's move on. Folks, we'll be back with more HeldDOWN after this. COMMERCIAL BREAK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 29, 2007 (edited) Backstage we go where Krista Isadora Duncan, has deviated from her usual televised role of a smart aleck ass kicker, to the more rewarding (emotionally, not financially) role of loving mother. Holding her hand is her lovely little daughter, Maya Duncan-Blanchard. To get a proper image of Maya, just imagine Krista minus two feet, minus some plastic surgery, and wearing an OFFICIAL D*LUX baseball jersey, OFFICAL D*LUX wrist band, and carrying the OFFICIAL D*LUX notepad made out of 100% recyclable paper. She's so conscious of the environment, Biff Atlas would be proud! While Maya is bursting with excitement over her upcoming meeting with D*LUX, Krista has concerned herself with working on her latest romance/novel, and speaks with a sultry voice into a tape recorder. KRISTA He eagerly tore away at his skimpy underthings, sighed lusciously at the glorious sight of his younger male lover's, voluptuous figure laid out for his resplendent consumption and....and...and...and then what? MAYA Felt his manhood rising to a frenzy? KRISTA Felt the throes of his delicious manhood rise towards heavenly frenzy. Yeah that's goo...wait, a minute you're about seven years old, what do you know about manhood rising towards a frenzy? No more Danielle Steele novels before bed time. MAYA But mom! KRISTA And no Purple Rain either. MAYA Awwww! Before she can get suitably whined to, Krista switches the subject towards the much anticipated meeting with D*LUX KRISTA Look, I know you wanna spend a lot of time with Shayne and Tyler, but you need to remember that we have to get back to the hotel soon, because we need to get up early, because mommy has to be back home by at least nine. I want to do a total reshoot for my new lipstick ad tomorrow. Hmmmmm. What's that gonna take? Three hundred extras, a couple of helicopters, and Stephen Baldwin? We can get that all by...I don't know, ten thirty. MAYA Mommy, you can't do that! You blew up the helicopters during the last reshoot, you're twenty thousand dollars over budget, and you fired Stephen once you found out he wasn't the Baldwin in “Along Came Polly” KRISTA (trailing off into some kind of dreamland) I love that movie. Oh, that Ben Stiller, you make such forgettable, easily digested b level comedies at a rate Owen Wilson can only dream of. MAYA Mommy, if grandmother was here she'd say “Krista, dahling dearest, you're having a major existentialist breakdown.” KRISTA Yeah, and I'd give her a major..exa...something..exoskeleton...break....yeah. MAYA Having trouble? KRISTA Quiet you. While Maya silently gloats over her verbal victory over a holder of two masters degrees, the mother and daughter approach D*LUX's locker room. KRISTA Oh wow, here we ar. And to think it only took two minutes of me exposing what a terrible parent I am to get here. Krista knocks on the door, and waits no longer then three seconds before it's opened by Tyler. TYLER Oh! Hey, Krista! How are you, come on in. Krista and Maya enter the room, which is filled with exactly what you'd think two nineteen year olds dressing room would be filled with; namely every video game system known to man. Shayne, in workout pants and white tank top, sits on the couch mashing buttons in a round of NHL 2K7 for PS3. He pauses his game, and looks up in excitement at Krista. KRISTA Hi, guys. Nice to see you're one of the few male members of the lockeroom who didn't take Mariachi's “no underwear allowed!” sign seriously. Um, anyway, this is my little girl, the most important person to me in the whole world, Maya. She's a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig fan of your's. But, unless you count action figures of yourselves being taken out on dates in our guest house, then you all haven't actually met. MAYA Mom! KRISTA Sorry, sweetie. Go ahead and say hi to D*LUX. MAYA Hi D*LUX! You guys are the best! Everyone at my school, and my old school, I had to switch because daddy drank too much from his grown up bottle and said very naughty things to the headmistress at the ballet recital, loves you! I spent a hundred dollars of Mommy's money text messaging your fan club last week! But, don't worry, Mom, I'll pay you back, I'll get the money somehow.....can I borrow a hundred dollars? SHAYNE Well, Maya, it is very awesome to finally meet you. You look just like your mom, and you're even more adorable in real life then you are in pictures. MAYA TYLER And thank you so much for coming out east to hang with us. Your mom has told us a lot about you, and as big a fan as you are of us, we are of you. MAYA Really? SHAYNE Sure! We heard you got an award from the Governor of California, The Kindergarten Cop, Ahnald. MAYA (blushing) It's nothing big! First in state in reading, I read at a twelfth grade level, writing, and literature! SHAYNE That's radical, Maya! That calls for a celebratory drink. Shayne rushes to the D*LUX liquor cabinet, which because they're good boybanders doesn't contain liquor, only Sunny Delight, Kool Aid and Coke products. SHAYNE Maya, what's your pleasure? MAYA (giggling) Tyler! KRISTA (muttering to herself) She stole my joke! She just replaced Scarlett Johansson with Tyler. Oh no, oh no, oh no. I think she's gonna grow up to be straight. MAYA I'll just take a diet coke, I wanna keep my figure a double L. TYLER Double L? MAYA A Lindsay Lohan SHAYNE Laughing also, Tyler hands Maya her diet coke. TYLER Krista, would you like something to drink? KRISTA Well, I wanna keep my figure a double...er...triple...A...uh...just get me a Cheery Coke, alright. While, Tyler digs for Krista's cheery coke, Maya launches into a little spiel. MAYA Guys, mommy says I can't hang out with boys until I'm forty five, but if I tell her I love daddy more, she'll let me do it at thirty six. But guess what? I have an even better idea! In a few weeks my summer camp is having a huge show and tell, and last year Wynter Rosenberg had the drummer from My Chemical Romance there, and because I'm her best friend, behind Kylie Daniels, but way before Zoe Vogel or the Kitzmueller twins, I gotta follow her lead! So you have to be my show and tell! Plus Terra Spelling says her grandpa Aaron, can get Luke Perry in for show and tell, and I don't know who that is, but the camp counselor get very excited, and I can't get beaten by Terra Spelling. She's an ugly dork! KRISTA Maya, you shouldn't call someone an ugly dork. MAYA You're right. If she shaved off the mustache she'd be very pretty. KRISTA Maya! MAYA It's the same thing you said about Kelly Ripa! But, Tyler, Shayne, will you come? Before Tyler and Shayne can agree to make three days of her week an utter teenybopper hell, Krista quickly interjects. KRISTA Uh, Maya, they live in Detroit, and although I'm sure there's a daily rush from every last citizen to escape from the gates of that particular h-e-double hockey stick, I can't imagine they want to fly all the way out to LA to go to your summer camp. Right? MAYA Awww, Mom! It'll be so much fun! They can stay at our house in one of the guest rooms, and they can play PS3, and order pay per views, and I've got Jessica Simpson in concert on DVD and we can watch it on the big, huge, home theater, and you can be my babysitters, even though I'm so mature that I don't really need one, and Mommy and Alix can go out and have fun. And guess what else, mommy has been teaching me how to swim, and maybe she can do the same for you! As if a free ticket out of Detroit wasn't enough, now they actually have an opportunity to hang out with a bikini clad Krista! WHOOPE! The boys have enough common sense to contain their unbridled enthusiasm, however. TYLER Uh, yeah, we can probably make it. SHAYNE Sure, we'll check our schedules make sure everything checks out alright. MAYA Awesome! Big hug! Big indeed, as an overjoyed Maya dives into the arms of America's favorite wrestling boyband. Krista just kind of pretends to be happy about the whole thing, with a soft smile and a shaking of her head. MAYA Isn't this great, Mommy? KRISTA Anyone have any rum to go with this coke? While everyone except Krista shares a sitcom-esque laugh, we fade out. COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT Baby if I could...change the world BIFF ATLAS SPEAKS NEXT Edited June 29, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 29, 2007 (edited) OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by... Esurance-Quote.Buy.Print Pizzahut.com-Get America's favorite Pizza Unum-Better benefits at work As we return to HeldDOWN~!, the world's foremost (and pretty much only) song chronicalling the suffering of the third world "The Earth Song" by Michael Jackson is playing and wrestling's foremost (and definately only) environmental activist BIFF ATLAS is in the ring! With the song already about three minutes in, Biff finally gives the cue to the back to cut the music. COLE Biff Atlas, back on HeldDOWN~! And apparantly with something to say. BIFF Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Biff Atlas. And since you last saw me here on HeldDOWN~! I have embarked on a spiritual journey the likes of which most human-beings do not have the privledge of experiencing. Three weeks ago, I travelled to the Amazon and trekked through the rainforests, to get in touch with Mother Nature. It was a deeply humbling experience. And one which may not be possible in years to come, due to the threat of Global Warming. You see, the sights I saw are all too rare now. And when I thought about the plants I had passed, the creatures I had shared my surroundings with, the land in which my bare feet rested, it seemed all too soon that my private jet touched down in western civilisation again. As the crowd mull over the irony of Biff's last sentence and the fact a notorious OAOAST jobber can apparantly afford a private jet in the first place, Biff asks for some hush. BIFF But I will never forget my experience in the Amazon. It had only served to strengthen my resolve in changing the world and warning the wrestling community about climate change. Which is why on my return to the OAOAST, I am going to show you all what spiritual enlightenment and social conscience can do for a person. Namely, me. So tonight, I need an opponent. I'm issuing an Open Challenge to anyone in the back who thinks they can defeat Bono's Favourite Wrestler... COLE BIFF ...to come on out. Oh, and of course, it wouldn't be much of a challenge if there weren't a prize at stake. So, tonight, to anyone in the back, if you can defeat me you will win this... Biff reaches into the back of his tights and pulls out a glossy piece of paper, to GROANS from the crowd. BIFF ...this genuine, autographed pictue of Hollywood's most environment conscious star, Leonardo DiCaprio!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Sit down Michael! COLE I am sitting down you moron! As Biff hands the 'prize' to referee Charles Robinson who was unlucky enough to have passed Biff and the back and be dragged out to the ring with him, we wait to see if anyone will actually accept the challenge. Biff turns to the entrance way and waves somedbody, anybody on. And the lure of that autographed picture eventually proves too much... "You say its urgent Make it fast, make it urgent Do it quick, do it urgent Gotta rush, make it urgent" ...as "Urgent" by Foreigner hits, bringing out the man from The OAOAST First Responders Unit, EMT Tim! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest for the possession of... the autographed photo of Leonardo DiCaprio... set for one fall. On the way to the ring, the challenger. From the OAOAST First Responders Unit, weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... one half of RESCUE 911... EMT TIM CCAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHHH!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" BUFFER And, in the ring, from Venice Beach, California. Also at two hundred, twenty pounds, he is BIFF AAAAAATTLLLAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, it looks like we have a challenger... COACH Now, hold up just a darn second here. Why the hell would a grown man, besides you of course, want an autographed picture of Leonardo DiCaprio? Better yet, why would a grown man actually fight over the possession of said photo. I mean, if he won it in a raffle, okay fair enough. But come on! COLE I'm not quite sure what you're trying to suggest about our friend from Rescue 911, but drop it. As Tim sets aside his medical bag, we are ready to go. The autographed photo is placed safely at ringside as EMT Tim tries to get the crowd going with some clapping. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and the two men circle. A lock-up finds an easy winner as Biff shoves Tim away, drawing a large circle with his hands, that large circle being 'Earth' of course. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Are these idiots seriously booing the Earth!? COLE Sounds like it. Not letting the power display of his opponent get to him Tim tries another lock-up. This time proves more of a struggle, before Tim takes Biff over with a sudden armdrag! Biff scrambles to his feet and runs into a second armdrag. And to his feet again, a hiptoss awaits Atlas, who decides to do some energy conservation to himself by sliding out of the ring. Fired up, EMT Tim pumps his fists. COACH I still don't get it. If this guy is so fired up about winning that picture, then I have to call into question his manhood right here and now. COLE Why? For all we know, Mr. Cash might well donate the picture to charity if he won. Rescue 911 reknowned for their charitable contributions to the community. Biff works out the kinks in his arm before re-entering the ring. Another lock-up is offered by Tim and it looks to be taken... until a surprise knee catches him in the stomach. Biff goes to work with forearms to the back, working the EMT over before attempting an irish whip. A reversal by Tim sends Biff for the ride, but he ducks his head too early and Biff puts on the brakes, powering his opponent up and over with a vertical suplex! Cover... 1... 2... No. Dragging Tim back up, Biff backs him into a corner and ignores the warnings from referee Robinson as he clubs him in the chest with an overhand forearm! And another! Shooing Robinson out of the way Biff then whips Tim across the ring, looking to follow in with a clothesline. But EMT Tim goes up and over, schoolboying Biff as he lands... 1... 2... Kickout! A wild clothesline from Tim misses the mark and Biff shoves him in the back, sending Tim chest-first into the turnbuckles! COLE Wow, that'll knock the wind out of you! COACH Somebody get the defib... the defibu... ya know, the shocky thing. COLE Well put. As EMT Tim slumps in the turnbuckles Biff picks out one young child in the front row giving him the thumbs down, telling him to "always recycle" rather than chastise him for booing him. Biff then pulls Tim out of the corner, crushing him with a Side Belly To Belly Suplex! 1... 2... No! While Tim takes his time getting back to his feet, still clearly struggling to get his breath back, Atlas goes to the middle rope. Measuring his EMT opponent, the environmental activist then comes down from above with a big double axehandle, right to the back of the head! COLE Biff certainly looking impressive so far. Maybe this newfound love for the planet has woken some sort of passion inside of him, the kind of passion that could lead him to success inside the squared circle. COACH He's a man on a mission Mikey. Biff applies a gutwrench to Tim as he tries to get back up. Lifting Tim first to his feet, a quick deadlift from the former bodybuilder then takes the EMT up and over his shoulder, looking for the Greenhouse Effect (Canadian Backbreaker)! However Tim senses trouble and begins to fight it. Unable to lock his fingers, Biff loses Tim over his shoulder. And landing safely behind Biff, EMT Tim whips his leg around, catching him in the back of the head with a Backbrain Wheelkick, Owen Hart style! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Big knockdown from Tim! Both men are down and referee Robinson starts his count. It's Tim up to his feet first, drawing on the support of the crowd and clenching his fist. Biff isn't far behind him, but looks staggered as he reaches his feet. He walks around, aimlessly, turning right into a right hand from Tim! Another right! A third! Four, five, six big right hands before Tim loads Atlas up and sends him skywards with a BAAAAAACK bodydrop! COLE And this crowd in Indiannapolis getting behind EMT Tim! COACH I'm sure he'd love that. Well, from at least half the audience. Biff doesn't have much time to nurse his injuries as EMT Tim sends him for another irish whip ride. This time he extends the arm, catching Biff on the way back for his patented sleeper hold... ...but Biff turns into it, countering with a big back suplex! "OOOOHHHHHH!" COLE But just like that, the climate of this match changes. COACH That's horrible. You're horrible. Just horrible. "HI - PPY!" "HI - PPY!" "HI - PPY!" "HI - PPY!" The crowd get on the case of Biff as he pulls himself up on the ropes, backing his way into one corner of the ring and encouraging his opponent to get back up. Gallantly, EMT Tim tries to do just that, holding the back of his head. As he turns around in search of his opponent, out of the corner charges Biff, head down, absolutely MOWING DOWN EMT with a huge tackle that takes the EMT clean off his feet and about three feet back where he came from. COACH GORE! GORE! The Al GOORREE!! COLE The WHAT!? After hitting the "The Al GOORREE!!", Biff scrambles on tim of Tim, hooking the leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Give Tim credit, showing a lot of heart here. COACH Again, all over a picture of a Hollywood pin-up. A male Hollywood pin-up. I guess that explains the uniform. Surprised that his tribute to the foremost authority on climate change didn't earn him the victory, Biff decides to go for broke. Scoop and a slam puts Tim in position. Turning to the crowd, Atlas signals that it's over and gives the call for the "EARTHSAULT!" COLE Well, Biff batting well below .500 when it comes to high-risk manouevers in his career. But you can't fault his persistance. Scaling the turnbuckles with his back to the ring, Biff looks through his legs to check that Tim is still there while he steadies himself. Once set, he then backflips, soaring through the air with impressive form on the Earthsault... *WHAM!* ...AND CRASHING TO THE CANVAS! NOBODY HOME! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Biff gets up holding his gut and EMT Tim dives at him, Running The Lights with the Hart Attack clothesline! Hook of the leg by Tim, signed picture of Leonardo DiCaprio on the line! 1... 2... NO! Distraught, EMT Tim checks the count before he pulls Biff back up again. COACH I'm tellin' ya, that boy ain't right. Applying a front facelock, Tim tries to set Biff up for maybe a DDT. Maybe being the key word there, as he gets rammed backwards into the turnbuckles! With the wind knocked out of him, Tim then gets backdropped by Biff, right into the centre of the ring. EMT Tim is struggling now and realising it, Atlas again signals for the end. Wisely he doesn't try any high-risk moves this time though. Instead, he lifts Tim up into a fireman's carry. COLE Uh-oh, if Biff hits this, it'll be over. Carrying Tim around for a second, Biff picks his spot before turning the EMT out in front and SPIKING him down with the INCONVENIENT TRUTH! Leg hooked, the count... 1... 2... and 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And sure enough, Biff Atlas with An Inconvenient Truth, formerly the Bad Hair Day, still a bad ride and an even worse landing! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner... BIIIFFFFFFF AAAAAAAATTLLLLAAAAAAASSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Biff's arm is raised in victory, which is momentous in and of itself. As EMT Tim is left to curse the missed opportunity of owning a piece of Hollywood memorabilia, Atlas is given back his hula skirt and the signed picture, both of which he raises as tokens of victory. COLE So Biff Atlas your winner here on HeldDOWN~! I'm not 100% sure what this open challenge was supposed to prove, but it at least proved that Biff is beginning to adapt to life as a singles competitor. COACH You were right the first time Cole. This match raises so many more questions than it gave answers. COLE In any even, we've got more on the way, stay tuned to HeldDOWN~! The following announcement was paid for by World Domination Wrestling. Yankee Doodle Dandy plays, as an outdoor setting is shown. (voiceover) Summer is upon us... Cut to a wideshot of a teen-aged boy doing a cannonball off the diving board at a public pool. Which means the month of our Independence isn't far behind. Cut to a family sitting at a picnic table in their backyard, laughing, then to Alf delivering the Five-Star Alf Splash to Chris Stevens. And that means, the cookouts... Cut to a man turning a hot dog on the grill, then to Felix Strutter drilling Thunderkid with the Thunder Bay Throttle. The apple pie... Cut to a woman setting a pie on the table, then to Jumbo flattening a jobber with the XL splash. And don't forget... Cut to a child eating a large piece of watermelon. (yeah i no what ur thinking u racist) The American Pasttime. Cut to a group of kids playing wiffleball, then the screen quickly goes dark. ...yeah, right. Cut to Jamie O'Hara cracking Vinny Valentine with a bat, followed by several clips of violent acts by WDW superstars. On July 14, your real American Pasttime comes to Pay-Per-View. The montage ends with a smiling Alf standing on the second rope, holding his belt, then the screen fading to black. World Domination Wrestling presents Declaration of Invalescence! LIVE, July 14, only on pay-per-view! Cut to Axel in a stylish suit, in a black background. AXEL WE can NOT tell a lie. Commercial break Edited June 29, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted June 29, 2007 "Getting Away With Murder" brings the crowd to their feet as we return for the final segment of the night, as the World Champion has promised to make a statement regarding his successful title defense this past Sunday. COLE Just four days removed from a struggle with Landon Maddix that saw the challenger continue to attempt to permanently injure him, Zack Malibu is here on HeldDOWN~! STILL the World Heavyweight Champion! COACH He got busted up, he got bloodied, and some people would say he was downright lucky at the Great Angle Bash this past Sunday! COLE Call it what you want, but the champ is HERE, and he's gonna tell us what's on his mind! Malibu has made his way down the aisle, dressed in jeans, black boots, and a black dress shirt. Zack is greeted with a welcome response from the OAOAST faithful, who show respect for the company's franchise player with deafening cheers and a sea of signs brandishing his name. MALIBU Thank you, thank you all. You know, I said as soon as I won this belt back, that I would restore the honor and prestige that so many before me have given it. I said that I would do my best to make up for what happened during the prior champions reign because I felt it was owed not just to this company or this industry, but to you people. You people continue to support us, you fill these arenas, you wear our shirts, you buy our action figures, and YOU deserve a fighting champion! The crowd, unanimously in agreement, cheer Zack on. MALIBU People have asked me why I went into the match in the condition I was in. For two weeks prior, Landon Maddix and his running buddies did a number on me, attempting to soften me up. What Landon Maddix doesn't realize is that they can beat on me all they want. He should have paid more attention when he was hooked up with Bruce Blank and the Wildcards that I can be one persistent son of a bitch, because Landon, you may have injured me, but you never at any point broke my spirit, and THAT is how I retained over you the other night. Not by chance, not by luck, but because I had faith in MYSELF. I've been here for five years. I've seen them all come and go. I've been on both sides of the fence, and I've battled everyone that came through here, and NEVER did I give up as easily as you expected. I don't care if I'm injured, busted, bleeding...until there is no breath left in my body I will do right by this company and this belt that's over my shoulder right now because THAT is what a champion is! I welcome all challengers, because this company went far too long without a real champion, and it's time to get things back on track! It could be anyone in the back...it could be Landon Maddix again, it could be Bohemoth, it could be someone from the Lightning Crew, it could be my friends in the GPX...if ANYONE wants to challenge the champion, I welcome it, because that's what I want to see out of that locker room. I want to see people earning their keep around here, FIGHTING their way to the top. I want this company to remain the best damn thing going today, and a champion is only as good as his opposition! I... Zack turns around towards the aisleway and stops for a moment, as Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X from the Lightning Crew have come out to ringside! Malibu doesn't say a word as Boricua climbs up the steps and into the ring, while X circles ringside. COLE Two members of Tha Puerto Rican's Lightning Crew are out here now, and I wonder if they're taking what Malibu's been saying to heart. COACH He said he'd welcome all challengers. COLE I don't think he meant NOW, Coach! Boricua confronts Zack, mouthing off in his face, which Zack takes in stride...until Boricua SPITS on the World Title belt, then slaps Zack across the face! Infuriated, Malibu drops down and takes Boricua's legs out from under him, then gets atop him and starts wailing away, momentarily forgetting about Vitamin X, who slides into the ring and starts putting the boots to Zack Malibu! COLE They're mugging the World Champion! VX drags Zack to his feet, but neither man allows him the room to get up, instead pounding on him with clubbing blows across the back. Vitamin X then sends Zack into the corner, and has Boricua whip him into him, nailing Zack wtih a corner clothesline before tossing him out of the corner, into the waiting arms of Mr. Boricua, who drills the World Champion with a SPINEBUSTER~! COLE It's a 2 on 1! We need some help out he...wait, what's going on in the back? Can we get a camera back there!? What's going on!? As Malibu is being worked over in the ring, a camera shakes, as the cameraman jogs through the backstage maze of hallways, where Tha Puerto Rican has just been hurled over the catering table, taking both table and food down with him! The camera pans over, and the man responsible is TODD CORTEZ, who moves the table aside and drags PRL up, running him headfirst into a wall! COLE What the hell...we've got two members of the crew out here, Tha Puerto Rican has been jumped by Todd Cortez backstage, and...now wait, c'mon now! The crowd boos loudly as the South Central Millitia, weilding steel pipes, hit the ring! Vincent and Marcellus roll into the ring, and the Crew members welcome them, asking if they want a shot at Malibu as well. Unfortunately for VX and Boricua, the only shot the SCM takes is on them, as Vincent nails VX in the ribs with one pipe, while Marcellus does the same to Boricua, and follows up with a shot across the back! COACH What's going on here, Mikey!? Am I seeing this right!? The crowd, as shocked as everyone else, roars, as the South Central Millitia, just one week seperated from doing battle with Zack Malibu, have saved him from the Lightning Crew! Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua lay on the floor aching and bruised, while Vincent and Marcellus slowly help Zack Malibu to his feet! COLE I'll be damned, I never thought I'd see the day that the SCM and Zack Malibu were on the same page! Malibu is shocked too, but Marcellus helps him up, assuring him he's going to be OK...but that's BEFORE he slams the steel pipe across Malibu's ribs! COLE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE TONIGHT!? IMMEDIATELY, the crowd picks up on the swerve, and start booing loudly, as the SCM beat Zack down, gangland style! Zack tries to fight up, but every time he does he's sent back to the canvas, worked over by hard shots from the gangbangers, and that's when Landon Maddix appears on the scene, jogging down the aisle! COACH Maddix! COLE C'mon people, get Zack out of there! Santana and Wallace pull Malibu up, holding him securely with one arm each, as Maddix picks up the mic Zack dropped during the attack. MADDIX Hey, Malibu, guess what? You beat me four days ago, and that's all well and good...but you remember one thing, you took that title match Sunday because of your own damn selfish pride. You wanted to prove so badly that you were going to take this World Title belt of yours (Landon picks up the belt and dangles it in front of Zack's face) that you took my challenge on the spot. Let me spell that out to you again Zack... you accepted my challenge. Zack, that was the biggest mistake of your life, because just like you, I know it's always wise to have a backup plan. So Zack, I'm gonna give you a chance to kiss this belt goodbye, because I am cashing in my Money In The Bank win RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Oh snap! COLE So THAT'S what this is all about! Landon's trying to set up a cakewalk for the belt! MADDIX REFEREE! ANY referee, we've got what, like 40 of you on the roster? Get your ass out here, because I'm going to END you, Zack! Leave him to me, boys! Santana and Wallace drop Zack to the mat, as Maddix looms over him, playfully kicking him while holding the World Title in his hand. MADDIX Get up, Malibu! Get up, and say goodbye to your precious championship! Zack slowly pushes up, rising to his feet, as Landon throws the mix down and folds the belt up. He cocks it in his hands, and Malibu stands tall as Landon rushes forward with a BELTSH...NO~! ZACK DUCKS IT AND ROLLS HIM UP WITH A SCHOOLBOY, JUST AS EARL HEBNER HAS HIT THE RING~! ONE! T-NO! Popping right back to his feet, Landon unloads with stomps. A flurry of them, pinpointed to the ribs of The Franchise! COLE Look at Maddix, like a man possessed! COACH This is a shocker! I think we all assumed Landon has used his Money In The Bank at The Bash, but it turns out he had it in reserve the whole time. He played Zack like a fiddle! Finally the stomps end and Landon wipes the hair from his eyes. Eyes that are wide, Landon aware of just how close he is. Dragging Zack off of the canvas, Maddix grabs him by the wrist, dragging him forward into a short knee. The air rushes out of Zack's body with a loud, pained groan, as Maddix connects with a second knee. Releasing the arm, a HARD kick then floors Zack, the World Champion sitting up with blood beginning to dribble down his chin. COLE Zack, bleeding from the mouth again! Those internal injuries have had no time to heal what-so-ever and yet again, he's in serious, serious trouble. COACH And Zack can't blame anybody but himself. COLE How!? COACH He wanted to be the 'fighting champion'. He wanted to be the hero. Say what you want about Drek Stone, I don't remember this happening to him. "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" The Indianapolis crowd try to get behind Zack. Even their support doesn't seem to be helping though as Maddix drags him up by the hair, whipping him into the buckles and watching with a satisfied smile as Malibu crumbles out of the corner. COLE Zack came in injured tonight, he has been beaten down by four other men and now, now THIS! And look at that grin on Landon's face! This is sickening! Slowly walking over to Zack, Landon takes his sweet time. Again he drags Zack up by the hair, delivering another hard kick to the ribs. And in a final insult he then slides to Zack's side, struggling as he takes him up with the ANGLE SLAM~! Not the finest execution, but who cares? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Damnit! COACH I think that's what they call 'poetic'. Megan raises her arms in the air, counting along in glee with Landon as he covers... ONE! TWO! THRE... NO, ZACK KICKS OUT! ZACK KICKS OUT~! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE YES! COME ON ZACK, FIGHT, FIGHT WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Utterly shocked, Landon begins to get that sinking feeling. Zack is still in the fight, however barely. But before Zack can get back up, he takes a punch to the ribs. Again. Again. And again and again and again and again, with no end in sight, Maddix trying to turn Zack's internal organs into mincemeat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Eventually Zack seems to go limp, and Landon is the one keeping him from falling, as he holds him by the collar of his shirt. Leading Zack away from the ropes, Landon hoists Zack up onto his shoulders, looking to deal the death blow. However, before Zack can Go 2 Sleep, he decides he wants to stay up a little while longer, and kicks himself off Landon's shoulders! Thinking quickly, Zack goes for the ANGLE SLAM~!, but can't lift Landon, dropping him to his feet! Favoring the ribs, Malibu keels over and winds up scooped up again, onto Landon's shoulders, before La Cucaracha decides to put him to bed. GO 2 SLEEP ON ZACK MALIBU~! COLE No, COME ON! This is robbery! This was a premeditated assault! Malibu, with blood dripping down his chin, is lifeless, as Landon Maddix makes a rather arrogant cover. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE NO! I don't believe it...this can't be happening! COACH It is, Mikey Cole, it most certainly is! We have a NEW World Heavyweight Champion, and it happened right here on live television! As "Personal Jesus" is cued up, Landon Maddix is given the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, and he clutches it to his chest. Megan Skye rolls into the ring and rubs her mans shoulders as he stares into the gold center plate, then rises to his feet and unleashes a primal scream as he raises the belt in the air. COLE I...I'm in shock. I don't believe what we've just seen. The Millitia enter the ring as well, as Landon shakes both their hands and thanks them, before they take Landon and lift him onto their shoulders like a conquering hero! COLE This is disgusting! COACH This is history, baby! The crowd boos loudly, some even risking evicition from the arena by tossing everything from beer cups to nacho dishes into the ring. OAOAST come to ringside and tend to Zack, gently sliding him out of the ring and onto a stretcher so that they can get him backstage and checked out by medical personnel. COLE Zack Malibu has been brutalized here tonight, and Landon Maddix swept in like a thief in the night, stealing the item that means most to him. Landon Maddix is the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and I guarantee you one thing folks...things are going to change around here, and not for the better! FADE OUT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
