Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 4, 2007 (edited) FUCK HELDOWN! It's the Patty O'Green and KC show! Let’s have a party with Charlie Brown Patty and Snoopy KC, We can go dancing with Linus and Lucy. Put on a smile and stay for a while, Come on let’s dance around with Charlie Brown Patty and Snoopy KC. Woodstock'll whistle, Sally will be singing, Marcie and Peppermint Patty will be swinging. Kick up your feet, in time with the beat, Come on let’s dance around with Charlie Brown Patty and Snoopy KC Now we've got the beat, Get up and dance those happy feet, We're dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing, With Snoopy KC's happy feet. Freda and Franklin, even little Rerun, Bounce back with Snoopy, everybody's having fun. Let's not go home yet, if we stick around, Maybe that red-haired girl will come and dance with Charlie Brown Patty! The state of the art introductory video plays, letting viewers across the globe know that is is time for their fill of fantastic OAOAST action. After it finishes the view moves to the less then state of the art announce team. COLE Ladies and gentlemen welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN! I am Michael Cole joined as always by the Coach. We saw one hell of a show this past weekend in London, England with James Riggs besting Colombian Heat, Reject winning the WDW battle royal, The Enterprise retaining their six man titles, Alix and Krista victorious over Jade and Mackenzie- COACH Ass and tities, ass and tities! Man, I loved seeing those babes work it! I've watched that one every day this week! And I can not get enough. COLE Oh, I bet your not the only one! And in our mainevent Todd Cortez joined forces with Zack Malibu to beat Landon Maddix and PRL. Unfortunately the trip was not met without incident, many of our superstars were detained overseas in connection with drug charges leveled against environmental activist Biff Atlas. While it turns out the drugs were just organic powdered goat's milk, it wreaked havoc on our schedule, and many of our superstars, and most of our production department, couldn't be here tonight. Conveniently everyone involved in the scramble match managed to escape police custody. COACH Thank god for that! Because this match is going to be off the chain! Seven teams vying to be recognized as the One and Only World Tag Team champions. That is hot! COLE Did you say seven teams? I thought it was six. COACH Get your head in the game, Cole. We have a late entry into the match! COLE Who is it? One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVD Name: The Global Party Exchange Members: Johnny Jackson & Scotty Static From: Scotty-Atlanta, Johnny-Detroit Finisher:Designated Driver Career Highlights:Two time OAOAST tag team champions COLE Woah! A team who helped blazed the trail in the tag division, gets a chance to blaze a new one! I know I speak for a lot of people when I say I look forward to seeing them tonight. .:CUE: "Oh No", Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche:. The Minneapolis crowd seem unsure how to react for a second, before settling on 'predominantly cheers' for The Urban Legend, Todd Cortez! Cortez seems a little surprised at the sudden respect shown to him by the people as he walks to the ring. His pyro goes off behind him, but he's long since passed it and jogs up the ring steps. COLE Here comes the man who five nights ago shook up the already intriguing World Title picture at OAOAST Syndicated. For those of you who missed it, a shocking turn of events. Zack Malibu named this man as his tag team partner against Landon Maddix and Tha Puerto Rican. And not only did Cortez accept, he PINNED the World Champion dead centre in the middle of the ring! COACH Well, I'm sure Landon will explain that in due time but it looks like Todd's got a mic. COLE Which, in itself, is a rarity. Cortez stands in the middle of the ring with the microphone, waiting for his music to cut. Once it does the crowd's reaction hits him again. Certainly not 100% positive but 100% interested. CORTEZ You know, I don't do this often. I like to think I'm a man of action, not a man of words. And my actions spoke louder than words Saturday night, when I accepted the proposal Zack Malibu gave me to be his tag team partner for the night. "YYYAAAAAAYYY!" cheer Zack's legions of fans. CORTEZ Nobody saw it coming. Definately not me. If you'd have told me I'd be teaming WITH Malibu, against Landon, when I got off the plane in London I'd have called you crazy. But you see, whether I like Zack Malibu or I don't... hell, whether I even respect him or I don't... what he said when I came to the ring made a lot of sense. He gave me some home truths. Home truths I needed to hear for a while now. For the past few months, my role in the OAOAST has pretty much been the right-hand man to Landon Maddix. "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" for the mere mention of Landon's name. CORTEZ When he came into the OAOAST, he joined up with me and the rest of The Wildcards. And even back then I had my reservations, because after a couple of years of dealing with him in the SWF, nobody knew Landon better than me. But at the time, it was an issue of strength in numbers. We took Landon in. And sure enough, just as I expected, he systematically took the spotlight out of the sky and made sure it was shone on him and him alone. Been there, done that. We were SWF Tag Team Champions together. Nobody knows just how egotistical and self-centered Landon Maddix is quite like me. And yet, here I was as late as a matter of days ago, still tagging along in the dimmly-lit background. Cortez begins to pace around a little. CORTEZ Landon, you used me for your own well-being. You used me as if nothing ever happened between us... and, I let you. Well, Malibu did open eyes. And he was right, I do deserve better than that. See, it occured to me the moment Zack started talking, that look on your face, it told me everything I needed to know about you. That look told me just WHY, after all the water that's passed under the bridge between the two of us, you were willing to associate yourself with me even when that spotlight was firmly placed over your head. It wasn't loyalty. It wasn't just need for somebody to watch your back, because there's plenty of people who'd be more than willing to 'hang' with the Champ. People without a strong tension with you. No, see that look screamed one thing. FEAR. To dip into the bag of clichés for a second, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em"... and Landon, you COULDN'T beat me in the SWF! Not man to man, one to one. I beat you at Genesis. Deep down, you realise I am your biggest threat because I know you all too well. And THAT'S why you made sure you kept me onside all this time. You know it. I know it. And the moment I SPIKED you on your head with the Riot Act Plus and the referee counted the three this past Saturday, the WORLD knew it! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" CORTEZ Landon, I never liked you. Not here, at least. Up until now, I tolerated you, not without a whole lot of self-control I should add because there have been plenty of times I wanted to punch your lights out over the past few months. But Zack made me realise, I don't need you. As of this moment, any obligation I felt I had towards you Landon, it's officially over! The only thing I want from you anymore... is a TITLE SHOT! With that, Cortez drops the mic and storms off as "Oh No" hits again. COLE Woah! COACH Somebody oughta tell him we've already got two number one contenders. Which is already one too many. COLE Well, he did pin the Champion. I say that entitles him to a shot as much as Zack and PRL are entitled. What must Landon Maddix be thinking right now, that's what I want to know! He's got challengers queuing up to take him on and now, he's got absolutely no allies watching his back! His only accomplice is now one of his hungriest challengers! The hunter has well and truly become the hunted as the race for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship continues to heat up! Folks, before we return for the scramble cage match let's meet our final two teams. Edited August 5, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 4, 2007 (edited) One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVD Name: The Mardi Gras Home Wrekcing Crew Members:Lucius Soul & Rico De Janiero From: Rico-Rio de Janeiro Soul-New Orleans,LA Finisher:Coup de Mardi Gras Career Highlights:Current HI-YAH tag team champions One And Only World Tag Team Title Scramble Cage Match Profile Brought to you by The Hills - The Complete Second Season on DVD Name: Chicks Over Dicks Members:Alix Spezia & Krista Isadora Duncan From: Los Angeles Career Highlights:Three time OAOAST tag team champions. Krista-Best selling author, star of FIT with KID exercise videos, owns her line of top selling beauty products. Alix-Two time 24/7 champion, CEO of Miss Spezia's Sweeties, 2005 Women's wrestler of the year. COLE Folks, we'll be back with the historic match after this. COMING UP NEXT HISTORY IS MADE SCRAMBLE CAGE UNIFICATION MATCH FOR THE ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES NEXT Classical music plays. THE VOICE~! It is the biggest main event in AngleSlam history. COLE Three men! One Title! THE VOICE~! And it will be for the richest prize in the industry. COLE The One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! STAR WIPE~! HIGH OCTANE ACTION PACKED FAST PACED UP TEMPO ROCK MUSIC~! plays as clips of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, and Zack Malibu wrestling are shown. THE VOICE~! Three of the very best OAOAST Superstars will collide in a Triple Threat Match! Cut to a close-up of Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. THE VOICE~! The Champion, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix! Cut to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix standing in front of a black background in his wrestling gear holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX There is NO WAY I am leaving Madison Square Garden WITHOUT the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! NO WAY! Cut to a close-up of Zack Malibu. THE VOICE~! The former Champion, Zack Malibu! Cut to Zack Malibu standing in front of a black background in his wrestling gear. ZACK MALIBU I'll go through two men, I'll go through four men, I'll go through eight men, I'll go through FOURTY men if I have to! It doesn't matter, so long as I get the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! Cut to a close-up of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. THE VOICE~! And the man who has never been Champion, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! Cut to "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican standing in front of a black background wearing a white collar shirt, a gold chain around his neck, a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, black sports jacket, red tie, $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, his engagement ring on his left ring finger, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Get ready for the greatest Triple Threat Match of all-time! Cut to another montage of Zack, PRL, and Landon Maddix in action. THE VOICE~! It's going to be one wild night as we finish off the summer with a bang! Live from the World's Most Famous Arena, Madison Square Garden in New York City! Cut to Madison Square Garden. Cut to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. LANDON MADDIX Are Cut to Zack Malibu. ZACK MALIBU You Cut to "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. THA PUERTO RICAN Ready Cut back to Landon Maddix. LANDON MADDIX Chumps!? Cut to another montage of PRL, Zack, and Landon clips. THE VOICE~! Fasten your seatbelts and buckle up, OAOAST fans! This will be a match you will never forget! The information for OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 appears on screen read by THE VOICE~! THE VOICE~! Chef Boyardee presents OAOAST AngleSlam! Sunday, August 26th from Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York! Live! ONLY on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satelite operator to order now! The classical music starts playing again. We fade out. FADE OUT COMMERCIAL BREAK Edited August 5, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 4, 2007 (edited) Three Titles HI-YAH Tag Team Championship, WDW Tag team Championship, OAOAST World Tag Team Championship All alike in dignity In fair Minneapolis where we lay our scene From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean From forth the fatal brawl of these seven foes The Heavenly Rockers WDW Tag Team Champions Team Heyross The Global Party Exchange HI-YAH Tag Team champions The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew D*LUX The South Central Militia OAOAST world tag team champions Chicks Over Dicks A group of star-crossed titles are unified One and Only World Tag Team Championship HeldDOWN~! August 2nd, Minneapolis, Minnesota Tag Team Scramble Cage Match to crown the first ever One and Only World Tag Team Champions. The view returns to the arena where a sold out (and ripped off) crowd is on it's feet in anticipation of the long waited unification match. The camera focuses on Micheal Buffer who begins his opening announcement BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for the seven team Scramble Cage Unification Match to determine who will be crowned the One and Only World Tag Team Champions! The rules are as follows, the match will start out with two teams, with the other five to enter at random intervals. In order to be eliminated a team must either be pinned or submitted. The last remaining team is the new One and Only World Tag Team Champions. Let's meet the first two teams! COLE I can't wait! The harsh opening of Cross That Line by Rick Ross fills the arena with a deep sense of dread. As the audience murmurs with anticipation, the formerly bright lights morph into a troubling blue hue. Convict....Convict....Convict Up front Yeah.... Convict Music While the haunting piano melody heightens the tension in the venue, scenes of The South Central Militia's special brand of havoc blaze across the Angletron, showing the alarmed fans what type of savage aggression the men who are soon to arrive are capable of. Oooooh ooooh oooooh If you ever cross that line I guarantee ya there'll be nothin' to save ya (save ya, save ya) I got a whole bunch of gorillas ready to pull the trigga And we all for that paper (paper) Comin' from a life of crime Tryna be on my best behavior You see my rep's gettin' bigger but still that same nigga bustin' shots at them haters (them haters, them haters) But only if you cross that line The colossal bass of Rick Ross' street anthem booms through the venue, heralding the arrival of the first team. The entrance doors shoot apart, and jeers rise into the air as The South Central Militia steps through a cloud of smoke to take position on the entrance ramp. Wearing a pair of flared Red Monkey Jeans, decorated by a Chinese feudal map, and a black LRG throwback track jacket, Vincent Santana throws his arms out to his side, and unleashes a feral growl into the streams of blue light that flare about him. The glowing streams spark beautifully across his sleek body as he releases his deep rooted rage upon the viewing world. His partner, wearing Artful Dodger Jeans with a blue gothic pattern on the side, and a t-shirt boasting a giant symbol of a grenade, stands in solemn menace, intimidating any unlucky enough to meet his gaze. BUFFER From the mean streets of South Central Los Angeles, they are Vincent Santana, Marcellus Wallace, the South Central Militia! The spectators welcome the end of the introduction with more disdain for these sickening goons. Quite dissimilar to many teams, who usually don't pay attention to such disrespect from the audience, the natives of South Central dish out verbal trashing to each attendee they encounter until they reach the squared circle. They dive into the ring, and ascend to opposite turnbuckle where their fists pump into the air in defiant triumph. The camera rotates around their rebellious ritual, as the chilling blue lights continue to dance along the ringside area. COLE Former tag team champions, The South Central Militia. Unlucky number one, but if anyone can overcome the odds it's these two. Now, folks, when the cage is lowered you'll see platforms on each corner, those can be used by competitors to launch any manner of high risk aerial assaults on their rivals. COACH Enough about that! Who is team two? Who is starting this match? Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! COLE Oh my! A red pyro waterfall illuminates the entrance stage, and all eyes lock onto the currently vacant entranceway. The pep rally drum beats of Girlfriend rip to life while the red waterfall is courted by a beautiful pink pyro fountain. Standing next to the gorgeous display of pyrotechnics are miniature Angletrons, showcasing COD's entrance video, a highlight reel filled with clips of their breathtaking moves, interspersed with fly through images of the City of Angels, and shots of the champions in various seductive poses. COACH Watch out for your ears, Cole! BOOOOOM!!! A violent explosion of gold pyro destroys the once docile pyrotechnics showing, and causes the capacity crowd to put forth a gargantuan cheer. As the smoke clears, Krista Isadora Duncan emerges through the hazy remnants of the fireworks. She sports a stomach exposing red Obey™ tank top that reads "Make Art. Not War" and a black open sided mini skirt that reveals her entire left leg, a show of skin that's always a crowd favorite! Her baby blue eyes cut a hole through her ring based rivals, while she strikes an alluring pose for the screaming audience. BUFFER And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, the Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are the OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Amidst the resonating cries Alix Maria Spezia bounces through the entrance way in a white tie-up front tube top that's cropped all the way to the chest and white booty shorts. Although her fur wristbands, scarf, and leg warmers are fake, the excitement of the fans is very real as they watch her settle down long enough to join hands with Krista. Krista twirls Alix around, then pulls her into her arms. Alix turns over her shoulder and blows a cute kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. COLE Los Angeles represent tonight! Two teams born and raised in the city of angels kicking it off in the quest to become the One and Only World Tag Team Champions. Chicks Over Dicks are fresh off their win at Syndicated over Jade Rodez and Mackenzie, wearing a little bit more clothes tonight. COACH These mamis was looking good enough to eat at Syndicated! But how are they gonna survive six other teams? How are they gonna outlast Team Heryoss or The Rockers? When the girls reach the ring, Alix grabs Krista by the waist and hoists her on the apron with startling ferocity that Krista wouldn't expect from the normally submissive Alix. With her ego swelled to bursting by the unparalleled adulation of the audience, Alix coolly reclines against the apron. She feels the smoothness of Krista's legs coil around her bare stomach, and her body tingles in immediate response. While Ally stands lost within the rapture of the pleasuring touch, Krista passes a middle finger towards the battery of cameras that flash away. Finally the champions enter the ring, and the cage lowers around them. COLE Earl Hebnner and Billy Silverman have been assigned to handle this contest and they'll have their work cut out for them tonight. I don't envy them in the least! Silverman calls for the bell and the match is underway. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Neither team wastes any time in kicking off this epic match, as all four members dart towards the ropes. The SCM return to the center of the ring, wielding murderous lariats. Thankfully for the health of the fan favorites, they shoot beneath the approaching weapons, and continue their jog. Once they reach the cables, they use them as catapults to springboard themselves back to their foes with stereo dropkicks! Marcellus is wiped out by Alix with ease, but the quicker Santana sidesteps Krista's shot. She's able to land on her feet, but has to deal with the incoming lariat from the thug. The blond beauty rolls beneath his attack, but Whitey keeps his arm extended and floors an unaware Alix! Outraged over her partner's downfall, Krista eyes vengeance. She leaps onto the third cable, and hurls her moonsaulting figure towards her rival. While she connects perfectly with his frame, her landing is far from a happy one, as he catches her onto his scrawny shoulders. Her platform boots kick and pound his back in an effort to win freedom, but it's of little use, and he streams forward and hurls her into the steel wall. The structure vibrates mightily against the horrific impact, and soon the ring does the same as Krista's limp body plummets to the canvas. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” Her body screaming in agony, KID has a monstrous time willing herself upright. Once she does, her muddled vision spots the terrible sight of a body splashing Santana. Her instinct is to immediately dive away, but her wobbly legs refuse to do such. Thus she can only emit tortured screams once Vinny's knee explodes onto her skull. COACH Dayum! These boys have come to win! Krista's battered bones sink towards the mat, and her body trembles from the shockwaves of the incredible pain. Left at the mercy of the brute, she's ripe for an early elimination, or worse yet, further beatings. Thankfully, her girlfriend heroically comes to her aid, rifling her fur covered wrist bands into Vinny's back. Though the attacks do little damage to Whitey, they accomplish her task of distracting him from Krista. Unfortunately, he now sets his feral gaze on Alix. Ally tries to appeal to him with some zen wisdom, “Now, now Vincent, anger serves his own master. Buddha be with you” Needless to say Ally's trickery doesn't meet with much success and Whitey's BAPE shoes flash out with a yakuza kick! The Hollywood Bad Girl cleverly evades the attack by handspringing backwards. Unfortunately her agile moves bring her into the clutches of One-Eye, who snares her into a wheel barrel suplex. She's foisted into the sky, where her hands instantly search for a bull dog counter. However, Whitey snuffs out that move by weaving past her curled locks, and trapping her inside an inverted 3/4th face lock. From there the duo ravages her neck with a brutal wheel barrel neckbreaker! The Minnesota crowd reacts with disgust and horror at Alix's decimation and peppers the ring with boos. Ignoring the negative fans, Wallace attempts a pinfall that's scored by referee Billy Silverman.... ONE TWO Krista miraculously destroys the count; using Santana's skinny physique as a launching pad, she soars through the skies towards an unaware Wallace. Her spiked heels impale his corn rowed head and leave him uttering howls of misery. “YEAAAAAA!” Though Alix is safe for the time being, Krissy is placed in grave danger, as the treacherous Santana descends upon her. His bony fingers weave through her sun bathed hair, and uses it as a leash to cruelly yank her upright. She's shoved between his jeaned legs, as a despicable smirk slips onto his face. Her immediate thought is to sink to hier knees, and shoot his testicles through his throat with a low blow. But by the time she actually has that thought, her million dollar body is being drug through the air by a powerbomb! Her mouth pours out a torrent of screams, as her sadistic rival crashes her back into that of her grounded girlfriend's. Alix's body bucks and thrashes and her mouth wails against the mat. She's totally powerless to control herself as the misery pushes out constant cries of terror. As if the sounds of Alix's pain weren't bad enough for KID, Vinny hoists her skywards for a second powerbomb. The collision with the mat is every bit as brutal as the previous powerbomb, and the ring earthquakes at the impact. Pleased with the damage done, Santana holds his whimpering enemy into a pinfall. ONE TWO Amazingly Krista calls upon the strength to kick out, and the crowd is thrilled as a result. One-Eye, however, is adamant that Silverman's count was unusually slow, and gives him a vulgar earful. COACH Cole, it's only a matter of time before the SCM eliminate COD! While One-Eye berates Silverman, his comrade furthers the task of annihilating the OAOAST tag champion. He traps into a double underhook, then promptly strikes her with a double arm DDT! Though the move was certainly delivered with enough power to hold Krista down for the three count, a pin doesn't appear to be forthcoming. No a top turnbuckle based One-Eye Wallace demands that more carnage by inflicted upon his rival. He eyes down her crippled bones with bestial glare, steadying himself to obliterate her with a moonsault(!). COLE Marcellus is a heck of a natural athlete, but a moonsault? He can't pull that off. Indeed he can't, due to Alix dropkicking his legs from under him! The confused gang banger sinks downwards, where his balls of steel are crushed by the steel of the turnbuckle! “YEAAAAA!” Though the audience is delighted, Santana is understandably infuriated. He locks onto Alix with another yakuza kick, but finds the elusive lass impossible to hit. Thus his boots collide perfectly with the back of his partner, leaving a deep red foot print in his coffee colored skin. As the crowd's cheers grow louder, Ally floors Whitey with a dropsault! Caught by a surge of adrenaline, Alix sings “My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a last name it's M-E-SOMETHING-SOMETHING-I'm just gonna go to the top turnbuckle now, okay?” Making good on her promise, the Los Angelenia joins the Los Angelino at the highest point of the ring ropes. Putting aside the immeasurable pain she's caused him, he rises to his feet in order to pound the perky babe with punches. However, this plays right into his plan, as she stuffs his head between her lean thighs. The murmur of anticipation for Ally's planned attack is almost deafening, and the audience can hardly contain themselves when she executes her coup de grace. She does a graceful front flip that hauls herself and One Eye off the ropes and sends them plummeting through the skies. While Alix lands on the seat of her booty shorts, Wallace is far less lucky, finding his brain reduced to mush by a top rope Burning Sensation When You Urinate! "FUCKING AWESOME! FUCKING AWESOME!" the spectators holler. COLE Not for Wallace it wasn't! Alix attempts a pin and the crowd counts along. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Vinny breaks up the pin with an elbow drop! The crowd is displeased with his interference, but he pays them no mind as he yanks Alix's upright by her arm. Her head is trapped within a front facelock, and before she can think of mounting an escape effort, Vinny wounds her neck with an Implant DDT! The attack stings fiercely and Alix's face contorts with pain. “SCM BTK AOK!” Vincent belts in glory above his vanquished opponent. COACH South Central Militia Born To Kill, Always Out Killing! Santana begins directing a wave of stomps towards Alix's injured neck, causing the girl to throw out tortured cries with each blow. Finally he ceases his stomping, but does so only in order to drive his elbow into her throat. Suddenly, and without warning, the countdown clock appears on screen, distracting Vincent from his slaughter of the helpless maiden. The fans are eager to count along with the logo, 5 4 3 2 1! COLE Who will it be? The answer to the million dollar question is a team who's arrogance is worth it's weight in diamonds and gold...THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREW. Eazy Lover fails to lull the crowd into a peaceful mood, and the first sight of the HI-YAH tag team champions is met with large round of boos. Outfitted in plain beige pants, the king of the Fro, Lucius Soul grooves out onto the stage with a toothsome smile taking hold of his face. At his side is his pornstache stroking associate, Rico De Janiero, clad in his classic Brazilian flag trunks. The suave grappler holds both belts in his hands and foists them towards the green and yellow lights that hover above. COACH This is what I'm talking about! HI-YAH tag team champions, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! Took those belts from D*LUX, and now they're looking to take him an even bigger pair of titles. Rico saunters down the entry way, flaunting his spray on tan towards the finest ladies the front row has to offer. Soul is another story entirely. The native of The Big Easy darts down the ramp, and begins climbing his way up the cage. Inside the ring, Santana recollects the heated confrontation his team had with the Crew, and is struck by a bolt of rage. This bolt of rage charges him up the steel meshing. Whitey and Soul's eyes meet in flaring fury, and their vulgar mouthes exchange insults as they prepare to exchange punches. Once they both reach the zenith of the structure they unleash a calvary of destructive strikes. With every landing blow their heads bob backwards, and their bodies inch dangerously close to a grizzly plummet. The crowd sits on the edge of their seats, in awe of the high octane slug fest. COLE These two are insane! Get down from there! All of a sudden the brawl is impeded, and Whitey appears to be moving further and further away from the cage. His dismayed eyes, along with the camera, pan downwards to see that he's been elevated onto the buff shoulders of Rico. While Vinny struggles to be free of this unwanted roost, Lucius makes his way onto the top of cage. Though the fans, and even his partner, appear to be in total shock at his death defying actions, Soul is a pillar of smooth calm. With one flick of his fro, the pimp sails from his post, with arm extended into a clothesline! COLE Oh my! Santana knew the move was coming, and braces himself tightly, but that does nothing to prevent the awful pain that comes from Soul's amazing lariat! All three fighters thud into the canvas, but it's only Santana with grunts of anguish. “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” The Wrecking Crew exchange exuberant high fives, acting as though that single move was enough to earn them the tag titles. They're quickly shown they have a long road to travel, when a fist swinging One Eye accosts them. Wallace holds his own against the HI-YAH champions, using his sheer power to run them ragged about the ring. Eventually, the Casanovas are able to use their numbers advantage to emerge from the sea of punches, where they paste him with elbow shots. The blows push One-Eye into the ropes, but it's not a position he holds for very long, as they whip him towards the opposite end of the ring. When he rebounds, their heads are lowered in order to impale his midsection. However, the thug counters these efforts by sending his Timbaland boot into Soul's chest. Hearing his partner crash into the canvas, causes Rico to shoot himself upright in alarm. But he fails to stage a suitable defense and is bulldozed with a lariat for his folly! “MARDI GRAS SUCKS! MARDI GRAS SUCKS!” the audience bleats. Just as soon as De Janeiro is felled, does Soul rise to his feet, continuing the war against the Militia member. Moving with ungodly speed, Soul strikes fast, lifting Wallace onto his shoulders in a standing fireman's carry. Before Wallace can even begin to fight free, “Sweet” flings him forward for the lethal Fro 2 Sleep! But in an uncharacteristic show of agility, Wallace manages to coil his arm around Soul's neck, and punish the youngster with a DDT! The staunchly anti-Mardi Gras fans greet the reversal with a round of applause. Any kindness given to the SCM by the fans is suddenly transferred to Krista Isadora Duncan, who weaves her arms around his. She puts forth a mighty bout of strength in order to twist him around, so that his helpless neck rests beneath her back. Within seconds his entire body is driven to the ground by the tremendous force of her Unprettier. The ovation from the stands is constant and huge. But there's little time for Krissy to celebrate, given that the pesky Santana has reintroduced his unwelcome presence. His head tucks beneath her arm, and his hands latch onto her rhinestone belt. He foists her up then casually impales her onto the ring cables. Though the attack isn't overly pain inducing, it's enough to have the fitness queen grimacing in discomfort. Mere moments later, Santana is struck by his own bout of discomfort as Rico begins pasting him with kicks to the gut. COLE We still have three more teams left to go, Coach. COACH Yeah, and whoever comes out last is going to have easy pickings. Santana fights back against the bevy of punches, smashing his tapped fist into Rico's nose. But the Mardi Gras' number advantage comes back into play once Soul begins firing knife edge chops into Vinny's frame. His feeble chest unable to take the punishment, Santana wilts underneath the assault, and his foes are able to easily trap into a front face lock. “SHAVE YOUR FRO! SHAVE YOUR FRO!” the fans chant to Lucius. While he demands silence from the crowd, Soul helps his comrade drag Vinny's six feet four inches into the sky. They promptly fall backwards, crushing his spine with a vertical suplex. But their damage doesn't end there; they roll through the move and punish their enemy with a second suplex! Figuring that a third time is a charm, the despised heels lift Vincent up once more. Yet instead of striking him with the pedestrian hold, they violently tilt their bodies backwards which causes Whitey's back to slam into the steel caging! As the structure wobbles unsteadily, The Wrecking Crew curse Vincent with their most powerful attack yet, a double brainbuster! COACH Woah! Even the fans can't help but be impressed by the high impact hold, and applaud the showing. Beneath the sound of their claps comes Billy Silverman counting Soul's pinfall. ONE TWO THREE! NO! SANTANA KICKS OUT COLE Folks, I'd hate to do this, but we will be back with more HD after this! COMMERICAL BREAK The mainevent returns in the middle of a fiery brawl between the Wrecking Crew and The Militia. Santana bounds off the ropes with full intention of decapitating Soul with a monstrous lariat. However his charge is clumsy and unwieldy, and thus “Sweet” is able to turn his momentum against him with a back body drop! Instead of splattering onto the beige canvas, Santana awkwardly lands within the arms of a waiting De Janiero. Those muscular pythons then thrust Whitey downwards with a powerbomb that rocks the ring! Soul leaps into the air, pumping his fist in wild celebration, as his ally attempts a pin... ONE TWO But Wallace breaks up the fall! Instantly The Wrecking Crew swarms upon the intrusive gangbanger, bruising and welting his chocolate skin with forearm smashes. COLE I'll tell you this right now, The Wrecking Crew is performing out of this world! FUCK DA WRECKING CREW. LA COUNTY MOTHERFUCKING REPRESENT! Wallace's fellow Californians, Alix and Krista, lend him a hand in dealing with the dominant HI-YAH champions. They peel Soul away from his victim, and launch him into the cables. As he nears them, their flashy footwear brings them into the skies, where their lovely legs batter the pimp with double spinning wheel kicks! “YEAAAAAA!” With his partner noticeably absent, Rico is far less equipped to deal with the enraged the brute, and actually tries to make a play for the entrance door! But Wallace affords him no chance to escape and tugs onto the seat of the pants to keep him ring bound. Wallace's escape prevention has an unfortunate (fortunate?) side effect of granting the camera a shot of Rico's hairy ass crack. COLE YES! COACH WHY? Fortunately, Wallace releases his hold on the tights so that they may return to covering the Brazilian's jungle of love. Unfortunately for Rico, Wallace promptly floors him with a polish hammer! A few inches down the ring, Soul fares no better then his co-champion, left flat on his back and under a shroud of anguish. Above him Alix tosses a cute kiss towards her girlfriend. Krissy catches it on her hand, then delicately places it on her cheek, before her bubblegum pink lips return the sweet gesture. Alix snatches the kiss into her left hand, but instead of gently attaching it to her cheek, the receiving hand darts downward, palm smacking the playa dead in the face! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Soul's situation soon degenerates from bad to irreparably awful, when America's sweethearts each take hold of a khaki pants leg. Their lips meet for a quick but loving kiss, that generates quite the buzz from the stands. Once their innocent show of affection is complete, their less then innocent move begins. They dip backwards, bringing a squealing Soul off the apron, and hurtling him through the air with a slingshot. His body blasts against the cage, and the steel wiring cuts brutally through his skin, decorating it with red blood marks. Suffering lines his face and he can barely stay conscious as gravity pulls him back towards the ring. But he's shocked wide awake by a spark of pain when the SoCal babes nail him a double lung blower! The fans are ecstatic with COD's display of dominance and bath them with cheers. “Westside ballas, babay, strictly pimpin!” Alix shouts, mocking Soul's playa persona. COLE Now the OAOAST champions are starting to find their groove! Elsewhere, the other half of the HI-YAH champions is starting to find that the South Central Militia are a remorselessly impossible set of opponents. Their hands snake around his neck suffocating his appeals for peace into thin gargles for mercy. “Yo, what time is it, Whitey?” Wallace asks through platinum grills. “I think it's time to put this cokehead faggot in a body bag!” “God damn right it is!” Wisely realizing that the SCM's deathly double team finisher is on the horizon, the South American produces a fantastic effort to be free of their clutches. He bucks and thrashes against their death grip, but meets with little success. Thusly he resorts to a cheap shot and sends his boots into each of their testicles. As the crowd reacts with great negativity to his actions, Rico further debilitates his rivals by slamming their faces into the turnbuckles. The once fearsome brutes are now reduced to grousing and moaning wrecks. However, their weakened state fails to convince Rico to stay within the confines of the cages, and the HI-YAH champion decides to take his long since aborted vacation. Leaving his partner to fend for himself. De Janeiro groggily stumbles through the entry door, earning a good chunk of crowd heat in the process. His strong, arrogant accent, demands that he be left alone, but his rudeness only increases their venom. That is until the countdown appears on the screen. 5 4 3 2 1 COLE We've got another one! In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... “YEAAAAAAAA!” The peppy beats of O-Town's anthem brings the capacity crowd to it's feet in honor of the OAOAST legends. Through parting entrance doors emerges one of the most controversial tag teams of their day, The Global Party Xchange. Attired in unnervingly menacing black leather pants, the team that danced and bopped their way into two tag team title reigns, now marches with sinister expressions towards their third tag title reign. As they strode down the ramp, white and red spotlights wave across the venue, making the arena feel like it's been plunged into Satan's personal rave. COLE The Global Party Exchange. If you wanna talk about a team with a history in the OAOAST, these are the men to look at. Two time tag team champions, winner of the first ever Anderson Cup, and have been involved in some of the biggest, most personal fueds in OAOAST history. The accolades and cheers heaped upon the two superstars means very little to De Janeiro, who greets their arrival with nothing short of bitterest disdain. Snarling like a lunatic madman he goes to confront the pair, wielding a pair of haymaking arms. While Jackson just cruises right by him and enters the cage, the hot headed Scotty Static refuses to back down to the oiled up hard body. Punches quickly flare between them, hitting with deadly accuracy and leaving bruises upon every last point of impact. “G-P-X! G-P-X!” the audience yells. Despite the words of encouragement from the audience, Static doesn't succeed in overpowering his rival. Rather, De Janeiro wraps his hands through his unruly surfer cut and throws him into the cage! To Rico's dismay, Static shows few ill effects from the attack, and simply repays the unkindness to the Brazilian! Unlike, Double S, the South American can't stomach the anguish, and collapses to the mats with blood spilling from his nose. COLE It's going to get a little crowd inside that cage! Elsewhere, Johnny Jackson introduces himself to the proceedings by smashing his forearm into Vincent's jaw. He then hurls the stunned grappler into the aisleside ropes. Santana springs off the cables with great speed, but is caught within Jackson's waistlock, and propelled into the cage by a release German Suplex! Just as soon as his bones touch the mat, Jackson approaches him with arms outstretched. Vinny thrashes wildly against the incoming bonds, his hands clawing at Jackon's leather clad legs. Johnny pays little heed to the hysterics, and hauls Vincent off the mat. He calmly knees him in the stomach, leaving him stunned and breathless, and allowing him to put Vinny into a front waistlock. JJ then rips him off the canvas, and his lanky figure snaps into the harsh metal from the belly to belly suplex! An inhuman howl erupts from Vinny's throat, putting a smile on Jackson's face. COACH Good lawd! Leaving Vincent to wallow in his misery, Jackson moves down the ring to confront old enemy Alix Spezia. He catches the culinary sensation by surprise, pasting her with a succession of clubbing forearms. Alix withers under the pressure of the blows, and the excruciating pain yields a round of howls and shrieks. His arms snaps against her bare shoulder and a crimson welt rises from the deeply tanned skin. Soon the duties of dismantling Alix are distributed between two grapples, as Soul assists “Jam” with fierce strikes. He and Jackson wield their knees freely, dealing out painful lashes at the slightest hint of defiance. Only seconds later, One-Eye Wallace joins their efforts to rid the ring of COD's presence. Taking obvious pleasure in an opportunity to batter Alix, Wallace demands his cohorts still her wailing and crying body. Their brute strength traps her arms behind her back, and her eyes widen at the reality of her horrible fate. Deep throated screams spill from her throat the second Wallace's boot slams into her face. Released from her bonds, the champion drops like a stone to the mat. “BOOOOOOO!” As enraged as the crowd is Krista's anger burns with much more fire and intensity, and she instantly seeks retribution for her brutalized lover. The silver spikes of her heels tear through Jackson's gut, as her elbow plunges deep into his jaw. Alarmed by Krista's flurry, Soul looks to subdue her with a lariat. But she sweeps bellow his arm, spinning behind him to clasp her hands around his chin. The fans explode with cheers for her soon to come signature move! Their cheers expand enormously when she strikes “Sweet” with the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (reverse X-factor)! A heartbeat later, the golden haired beauty is back on her feet, eyes locked onto Jackson. Like Soul, Johnny's weapon of choice is a lariat. And like Soul Johnny is dealt a crushing blow by the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!! "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Not having learned the lessons of his fallen foes, the stubborn One-Eye makes his own lariat bid, and gets easily wiped out by the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!]! Now it's Santana's turn to try his hand at the surging fitness model. Unlike his foolish predecessor, Vincent employs a yakuza kick to floor Krista. But the results remain the same; a Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!! The fans cheers threaten to level the ring to it's very foundation, as the OAOAST champion makes a pivotal cover on Santana. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE!! COLE The Militia is finished, Coach! They're done! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, The South Central Militia have been eliminated! The dumbstruck Wallace freezes in shock, unable to tell if this is all part of some horrific nightmare. While referee Earl Hebner tries to convince him that he's very much awake, the remaining teams continue the fight without second thoughts to the departed Militia. Crazed blue eyes glow with feral rage, as Krista bares her fangs at the slowly rising Jackson. An icy smile lifts the corner of her pink lips when she flashes forward with her spear. Both competitors crash to the canvas, but it's the grousing Jackson who takes the brunt of the harsh impact. Fortunately for the Jammer, his partner grants him a moment of respite by shucking Krista away from him. The frenzied high flyer falls upon his rival, tearing at her with manic punches. She manages to fight her to her feet past the wave of fists, but can do no more then that before Static locks her down into a back suplex position. She's drug into the air in preparation for deadly back drop driver, but at the height of the move the foxy mommy flips free of his hold and lands perfectly on her feet. And trust me landing on high heels ain't exactly easy. Before Static can even register that Krissy is no longer on his shoulders, her arms tighten around his neck in a side headlock. Dragging his hissing carcass along with her, Miss California darts to the ropes. Her shoes springboard off the cables, and her headlock takes care of the rest, savaging Static's face with a the springboard bulldog! As the crowd applauds her continued efforts, Hebner counts her latest pinfall.... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Jackson breaks up the pin with a harsh stomp towards Krista's head. Taking the woman by her lush locks, Jackson pulls her upright. The ill-mannered hellcat stages and admirable rebellion against his clutches, but he easily snuffs out her fire with a european uppercut. With his enemy temporally calmed, the party boy foists her high into the sky in an exploder suplex position. He twirls around, showcasing his prey to the now outraged audience, increasing their rage with each one of his contemptuous smirks. Finally he rifles her overhead, launching the fan favorite into the cage with his dangerous suplex! Krista sinks downward, shoes clanking against the metal, cries bringing tears to the eyes of the younger fans faces. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” COLE Johnny Jackson and Scotty Static have just zeroed on the tag title tonight, no nerves, no anxiety, just killer precision from these two. In spite of the immense anguish she feels, Krista tries to use the ropes to drag her self up, as she feels Jackson and Static draw near. There's little time for her to effort a suitable defense before Jackson's boots leave their mark on her exposed left thigh. Krissy grimaces in pain that only grows worse when Static's kick strikes her in the same location. Krista falls down to her knees, the pain preventing her from even standing up to look her assailants in the eyes. Sniffing blood in the water, the men smile to each other, as they prepare to bring COD's time in the match to a close. Static positions himself behind Krista as though he were attempting a backdrop suplex, but he varies the typical hold by awkwardly bending her left leg. The unnatural position her leg is put in causes her to squeal moans of torment. But these noises are ignored by Static as he lifts her into a shin breaker position. Instead of simply dropping her onto his knee, the 313 homeboy glides her to the ropes, and drops her shin first atop the cables! With the sorrowing lady tangled between ropes with no means of escape, Jackson zeros in on her. Once he nears her, he takes to the skies with a dropkick and flattens her head between his shoes and the cage! Krista crumbles away from the ropes, her head throbbing unmercifully from the impact, unable to hear the crowd urging her to continue the fight. COACH Ain't nobody using the cage better as a weapon then GPX. You got this block of steel all around you, might as well make use of it. COLE Yes but-- Before Cole can even finish his thought the countdown reappears on the screen. 5 4 3 2 1 COLE Now who do we have? Booming through the speakers is Biohazard's Punishmentand the crowd bursts with glee for the arrival of hometown boy, Charlie Moss. But their glee devolves into wrathful hatred when Moss emerges wearing a baseball jersey. Surely that's innocent enough, you say. Not if the baseball jersey belongs to the Detroit Tigers! Benjamin dumps an entire gallon of fuel to fire by showing up in a Yankees jersey. Why, Patty what could be wrong with that? Well, it's a Johan Santana Yankees jersey, alluding to the fact the Twins will probably have to trade to NY at the end of the season. So while our sports comedians and WDW tag team champions journey down the ramp, they're assaulted with a plethora of jeers and taunts. COACH The WDW champions, Cole! My pick to win it all! COD are battered and beaten, The Wrecking Crew is tiring, and how long can GPX keep up their rapid pace. Just survive The Rockers and D*LUX and Team Heyross wins it all! If the Wrecking Crew is truly worn down as Coach says, their's little evidence of it within the ring. Soul has trapped Jackson within the corner with a barrage of knife edge chops, while Rico resumes his hellish brawl with the smaller Static within the center of the ring. The Brazilian grabs Static into a side headlock, shortly before he switches into an arm lock. Much like the headlock the arm lock doesn't stay applied for very long, as De Janiero violently snaps his foe down to the canvas. However, the sudden movement loosened Rico's grip, and it's for this reason that Static is able to spring to his feet and away from a possible submission hold. The applause of the audience inform Soul that Rico wasn't able to upend Static. Thusly he breaks away from Johnny to blast Scotty with a lariat. Unfortunately his moment away from Jackson, provided Jam with all the time he needed to recover, he captures the unaware champion with a face crusher! “G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X!” Suddenly the noise of the audience maximizes to it's highest point of the contest. Confused by the sharp rise of audience noise, Jackson turns his head around, finding Charlie Moss perched upon the thin platform that rests on the corner of the cage. COLE What's he doing? Answering Cole's query, and delighting the fans, Moss dismounts his perch with a swan dive headbutt directed towards Soul! Camera flashes are strewn about the stands by audience members who wish to capture the high risk attack. What they end up capturing is Moss' gruesome failure, as Soul moves out of the way! “OOOOOOH!” COLE Oh no! While the majority of people seem to be wondering if Moss is even still alive after that terrible landing, Jackson couldn't care less about his welfare, and casually rolls him into a pinning predicament. Hebner scores the fall.... ONE TWO But Moss' time in the match is prolonged just a bit longer thanks to Benjamin's top rope leg drop slicing through Jackson's neck. Without hesitation, Benjamin shoves Johnny onto his back for a pinning predicament of his own... ONE TWO But, The Jammer manages to kickout well before the three. Unsure of how Jackson escaped the fall, Benjamin lifts his head to argue with Hebner. But instead of spotting the officials wrinkled face, his vision is clogged by the faux fur covered boots of one Alix Spezia! The Hollywood Bad Girl leads Benjamin off the canvas, and attempts to toss him into the ropes. However the amateur wrestling god reverses her hold, and those adorable little boots are sent trotting into the cables. But once she reaches the ropes, she ascends to the third one and uses it as a catapult to lionsault herself towards QB. Benjamin's excellent reflexes allow him to slide bellow her incoming missile. But he doesn't move far enough, as Alix is able to trap him into an inverted facelock on her descent! In one smooth motion, she twirls both their bodies around to strike him with a roll the dice! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” While the crowd continues to sing her name, Ally turns her grey eyes towards the struggling to stand Johnny Jackson, and inexplicably (very inexplicably) sings, “Rooooxanne! You don't have to put on the redlight, those days are over, you don't have to sell your body to the night. Roxane, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, walk those streets for money, you don't care if it's wrong if it's right. Roxaaaaanne, you don't have to put on the red light....” Soon the crowd joins in on her song, “ROXAAAANEEE!” “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” She responds back “ROXAAAANNNNE!” “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” “ROXXAAAAAANE!” “PUT ON THE RED LIGHT!” COLE Only in the OAOAST will an entire match stop for a song and dance number! Obviously not much of a Sting fan, Jackson swings wildly with a spin kick. But his crazed blow misses wildly, allowing Ally to slip beneath his leg and catch his jaw with a dropsault. Pain rakes his chin, but The Jammer somehow succeeds in staying upright. As such Alix's furry boots hammer his chiseled chest with a second dropkick! This latest attack sends the ATL native stumbling backwards into an axe handle smash from Rico De Janiero. Though the blow is delivered with incredible force it fails to stagger the youngster, who continues stumbling about the ring. The Hollywood hottie hits the ropes, managing to duck under a lariat from Quentin Benjamin in the process. Ally hits the other side of the ring and comes back to a reverse elbow from Jam, which she ducks with remarkable ease. On her next and final run, the twenty eight year old throws her lithe body into the air for a cross body block! Unfortunately, Jackson dives beneath her fast approaching body! But instead of crashing and burning into the canvas, she encounters a fate far worse, that of being caught within the arms of Rico. The foreigner's coarse hands take a moment to explore the tantalizing body that places perverse grin onto his face. “RICO SUCKS! RICO SUCKS!” chant the fans, enraged by his groping of their heroine. From out of no where, Krista flies in to distract the despicable grappler from her girlfriend. Alix's heart shatters as his raised effortlessly boot impales Krissy's skull. Krista pitches backwards, as his foot slides away from her, losing control of her body and crash landing next to Moss. Giving Krista no further attention, as though he just stepped on an ant, Rico swings Alix around and bashes her stomach across his knee. Her ribs already damaged from earlier, Alix feels a new jolt of pain rip across her torso. Pleased with the damage he's caused, the Brazilian efforts a pinfall that's scored by Silverman. ONE TWO Much to audience's grand joy, Alix pulls her shoulder off the canvas! COACH Alix and Krista are on borrowed time now! Indeed they are, and Alix struggles upright to try to turn the tides of fate towards her team's favor. As she angles around, her tear streaked eyes spot Lucius Soul fast approaching. She swings around just in time to smash her elbow full force into his skull. But even as Soul falls, does the unbearably sharp arms of Charlie Moss cut into her throat with a sleeper hold, and all at once she can't breathe. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” She gasps and slams her right elbow back into her attacker's gut and catches bone, not the soft solar plexus she had been going for. She draws her elbow forward again, and feels Moss shift position slightly, anticipating the blow. Hope fading by the second, Alix shifts her own weight, intending on trying to slip free of the hold. But as she turns her weakened knees buckle, and escape seems more impossible then ever. She moans and wails under the strength of his submission, and looks dangerously close to slipping into an unconscious abyss. Charlie rudely comments, “You're dead now, bi...” DIAMOND CUTTER BY ALIX! Ally's brilliant escape attempt generates a rocking ovation from the stands, but draws the obvious ire of Benjamin. His red boots slam repeatedly into her bare back, sending ripples of pain through every inch of her body. She cries underneath the ceaseless assault, begging for Krista to come to her aid. Suddenly the torrent of stomps comes to a close, but it's not due to any intervention from Krista. Rather it's due to Benjamin nonchalantly grabbing the plucky lass by her ankles. His grip is stronger then a bear trap, and despite her frenzied efforts to break free, she remains his unwilling prisoner. Free to do as he wishes with her, he flips her onto her back, grabs hold of both her bare legs, then rockets her high into the sky as if she weighed as much as a small poodle. His unorthodox attack causes her to endure a brutal head first landing on the mat that instantly sends the fans and the fallen Krista into a state of worry for their beloved Alix. QB, however, is unrelenting in his assault, dropping down to his knees and blasting away with huge amounts of firepower in the form of closed fists. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Elsewhere, Johnny Jackson foists Soul onto position for a powerbomb. But the move doesn't seem to be forthcoming, as Jackson is required to wait for Static to scale the cage to it's highest peak. Despite the incredible strain his muscles undergo from keeping Soul elevated, the wait appears to be worth it as he hears the crowd roar their approval. Finally both he and the fans are treated to magnificent stunt, as Static dismounts the cage! Tumbling through the air, he swings his arms forward, trapping his hands around Soul's neck as he sails past the grappler. “Sweet” is ripped from his nest on Jackson's shoulders and driven downwards with a blockbuster! Well above his distressed groans sit the huge cheer of the fans, and the arrogant boasting of the two time tag team champions. “G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X!” COLE Did you see that? Did you see that? COACH I saw it! Saying it twice isn't going to change that fact, you dumbass. GPX's victory bash is painfully short lived, as Soul's partner gains a measure of revenge by steamrolling Static with a running high knee. Just seconds after Scotty topples to the canvas, does Rico direct his mammoth rage towards Jackson. He slams a round of closed fists into the cruiserweight's face, weakening him enough to Irish whip him across the ring. When Jackson makes his return he finds his adversaries have maddeningly multiplied, as Charlie Moss stands at Rico's side. The pairing catch JJ with a double hip toss, but refuse to let him sink to the mat, instead forcing him to fall into their free arms. Without a word passed between them, the two champions fling Jackson skywards. Unable to see what's happening beneath him, he hollers in horror, as he feels one hand tighten around his neck, and another tie around his ankles. With no way of protecting himself, he's brutally victimized by the double team that spikes him into the canvas! COLE Oh! Pleased with his efforts, Rico begins to massage his now legendary porn stache. Unfortunately the porn stache is nearly kicked off his face by a thunderous superkick from Charlie Moss! Rico collapses to the mat in a convulsing heap, totally unaware of who or what just hit him. Smirking to himself, Moss makes a pin... ONE TWO But the buff muscle stud kicks out, pleasing absolutely no one who isn't named Lucius Soul. Yet, the pinfall is quick to be forgotten thanks to the appearance of the highly anticipated countdown clock.... 5 4 3 2 1 HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Kurt Cobain's ode to Courtney Love pumps into the Minnesota night, eliciting an enormous wave of jeers. Not a single soul is pleased to bear witness to the despised tag team known as the Heavenly Rockers. As the entrance doors part, the hatred the world feels for them is not lost on The Rockers. Clad in matching leather pants with golden angel wings on the back, and matching golden tank tops, the Sin City duo greets their less then adoring fanbase with a pair of one finger salutes. Logan then triumphantly beats his fist against his beefy chest, while Synth flexes his thin muscles in pure arrogance. COLE Former tag team champions, The Heavenly Rockers. We have had former pimps and drug dealers in this match, and I'd still rather see them hold the title before The Rockers. What totally classless fiends these two are. I hate seeing them out here, and the fans hate seeing them out here. In my opinion, and I'm sure this is shared by many of the fans, the Lonestar Gunslingers should be competing... COACH Don't make the mistake of finishing that thought. Aside from one fluke victory over Black T, what have The Gunslingers actually done besides get a hot manager? Nothing. The musical duo journeys down the ramp, Synth bopping his head to the acidic guitars, and Logan running his fingers through his permed black hair. The fans look on in total disdain, wishing that some decent soul would erase the hated heels from existence. Their prayers are answered. Two muscular young men, clad in mink fur coats, and paint splashed jeans, dive over guardrail. Curly brown hair flows behind them, as they evade security to make their way to an oblivious Rocker pair. COACH What the? Suddenly a gigantic cheer speeds through the arena, as these men are instantly recognized as The Sk8r Boiz! COLE Oh my god! Oh my god! The Boiz are back in town! The massive screams of the audience lead Logan and Synth to turn their head in confusion. But by the time they're aware of what's going down, Marvin and Melvin are flooring them with double lariats! While the crowd chants the Nerdly boys name, Logan quickly struggles towards his feet, Stricken with panic, he tries his damnedest to get to the safety of the cage. No such luck. Melvin latches onto his wispy hair, leading the superstar to scream in fear. His fears are well founded, as Melvin throws him stomach first into the steel barricades. With a look of pure hatred gripping his face, The Canadian marches towards Logan and batters him with a parade of stomps. COACH Somebody stop this! Synth would love to try and follow Coach's orders, but there's the tiny problem of Marvin belly to belly suplexing him back up the ramp. Synth's heavily tatooed figure crashes violently against the steel staging, delighting the sold out audience. They're even more pleased when Marvin storms forward to drive the point of his boot into his stomach. "SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!" Logan struggles towards the top of the ramp. His intention isn't to aid his fallen partner, however. He simply wishes to escape the unholy beating being laid upon him by Melvin. He can scarcely inch past Synth, before the well defined arms of Marvin begin terrorizing his back. Soon, Melvin joins in the crowd pleasing assault, and the Boiz manage to beat Logan backstage. Poor Synth is left on the floor, writhing in agony, unsure of what on earth just happened. COLE The Boiz are back in town, Coach! The Boiz are back in town! You don't mess with the Nerdly family and get away from it. That was for Melody! COACH This isn't right, Cole! No! No! The Rockers just got eliminated without even getting near the ring! What kind of crap is this? What kind of establishment is being ran here when the midcard tag teams can assault the superstar tag teams like that? "SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!" COLE Well, the fans don't have a problem with it, and neither do I! Back in the ring (yes, there's still match going on), Soul focuses himself on the duty of furnishing Krista's downfall. Taking hold of her trembling wrist, he leads her to her feet, then slings her into the cables. The ropes return her into a punch from Benjamin that shears her skull and rips her from her feet. She yells in rage and pain, thrusting a smile of intense gratification onto the duo's face. Affording her no time to recover from her wounds, Soul peels the champion from the canvas. His hand flicks out in a knife edge chop, tearing apart the fabric of her scanty criss cross halter top. He cocks his arm to deliver another flesh searing strike, but his offense is grounded to an abrupt halt when a chop explodes across his pecs. Eight more chops terrorize the now bloody flesh of each brawler, giving life to a rousing ovation from the audience. More motivated to protect their shredded flesh then effort any sort of attack, Benjamin and Soul dispatch their rival to the ropes. This tactic grants them a three second reprieve from her onslaught, but when the gorgeous gal returns she reintroduces them to a world of hurt, pummeling him with a double high flipping lariats! All three warriors sink to the canvas, rippling the ring with their extraordinary impact. LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA! Despite being the aggressor, Krista's mounting injuries and misery make standing up an arduous effort. As her frail bones slog their way past the pain to stand upright, Jam sneaks behind her. When she stands fully erect, the ex champion springs forward, intending on flattening her with knee lift. But thanks to a quick glance towards the outfield scoreboard, Krista eyes the fast approaching warrior and slips out of the way! Unable to put the breaks on in time, Jackon's knees collide with Benjamin and Soul, sending the pair hurtling through the ropes and into the cage! All three gladiators land with a harsh thud, a wonderful sound to the millions of COD fans world wide. A wonderful sight for these fans would be Krista pinning of the three defeated opponents. But their beloved heroine can scarcely take a breath without feeling as though she's been shot COLE I think you're right, Coach, I think the curtain is finally closing on COD's eight month tag title reign. Several inches to her left, Rico and Scotty Static have snagged Alix into a back suplex position. As they tighten their hands around her white shorts, Rico plants a loathsome kiss onto her cheek. The horrid gesture the pulls a sob of despair from her quivering lips, and boos from the hateful audience. The jeers from the stands grow even louder once the pairing complete their double team, and punish their victim with a backdrop driver. Alix flops onto her stomach, where her sweat drenched brown hair spills in front of her, and tears puddle on the mat beneath her. Hearing Alix's sobbing unleashes a beast within in the bone weary Krista, and she strides towards the makeshift gang to rip their flesh to shreds. Unfortunately her ill health means she's poorly equipped to handle the much larger grapplers, and Static casually tosses her aside with an elbow into the gut. Rico watches in amusement as her body scissors in half, then topples to the ground. Amid the hate tinged noise of the crowd, he attempts a pin. ONE TWO But Krista kicks out, bringing the fans to their feet with cheers and applause! COLE Folks, we have to take a commercial break! We'll be back with more after this! COMMERICAL BREAK As we return to live action The Countdown is already underway. 5 4 COLE Almost time for D*LUX! 3 2 1 Right after the final count leaves the lips of the audience, Makes Me Wonder enters the arena to a raucous pop from a now standing crowd. Unlike the teams that have proceeded them, the boybanding duo waste no team with theatrical showmanship, instead charging down towards the ring to seek their glory. COLE Three time HI-YAH tag champions on their way to the fray. Their success has been limited since Jade Rodez left them, but here they have a chance to achieve triumph on all their own. Forget about triumph, D*LUX is having difficulty even achieving entrance into the cage! This is due entirely to the fact that the second they open the doors, the boots of Jackson and Static smash them to the outside mats. Watching the D*LUX duo squeak and squawk in a mixture of confusion in torment has the Party Exchange crowing with laughter. The audience is split between males for GPX and girls for D*LUX, and thus their voices mingle into a noisy, garbled mess. Beneath that mess, are the shouts of Hebner and Silverman, demanding that GPX refrain from such actions. But because there's no actual rule against what they did, Static just tells the officials to shut up and get lost. Brimming with anger, Brave throws himself onto the ring apron. But the second his shoes reach the surface he's struck by a Johnny Jackson lariat that propels him through the arena air. The crash landing leaves him stunned and breathless, and his chest stings from small cuts and abrasions. COLE Well, that's not right at all. D*LUX deserves their chance to get into the match! Figuring that D*LUX has been tempered for the moment, GPX turns their attention towards their more immediate rivals. Chiefly, OAOAST Tag Team Champions Chicks Over Dicks. Eyes flickering with predatory hunger, the party animals impatiently wait for the distressed Krista to step to her feet. When she rises fully upright, her wobbly body is trapped within the confines of Static's front facelock. Without the energy to mount a suitable defense, she's helpless to prevent her smooth legs from being elevated onto Jackson's shoulders. The duo then swing her limp body over, dropping her back first onto the unforgiving canvas! A stabbing pain in her right side causes her to hiss in agony. Blinking the sweat from her eyes, she sees Static lie on top of her for a pin... ONE TWO Mere seconds before Silverman can reach a three count, Krista kicks out! The audience is stunned with delight, certain that they had just witnessed the ending moments of COD's title reign. GPX is stunned as well, but its certainly not with delight. However they're forced to maintain their cool, and retry their attempt to eliminate Krista. Again she's brought upright, where her listless arms are snapped with a double arm wrench. She barely has enough strength to wail in pain, and can only emit low groans of defeat as they, latch onto her legs and lift her into the air. As her now messy blond hair dribbles in front of her, the GPX fling her backwards, causing her to land between the second and third ropes. Her back collides gruesomely with the steel meshing, and for a split second she's able to fianlly wail in pain, before her sluggish corpse drips to the canvas. Assured that Krista has gasped her last breath, Jackson goes for a pivotal fall... ONE TWO D*LUX breaks up the fall! “YEAAAAAA!” COACH I always thought people from Detroit were stupid, but never that stupid! COLE D*LUX is doing it for Krista! COACH Congratulations, boys, you're in love with a lesbian. Being that this is an every person for themselves match, GPX can't fathom why D*LUX would want to rescue a team on the brink of elimination. However they don't wait for words of explanation before they begin trading blows with the vexing teenyboppers! In spite of the size disadvantage, Shayne and Tyler are both able to overpower their rivals. Brave takes hold of Johnny's heavily gelled hair, while Bryant digs his fingers through Static's unrully strands. The teen screams then head to opposite ends of the cage and hurl their victims face first into the wall! Warm blood streams from cuts on their forehead, and they stagger backwards through a dizzy fog. Jackson has the good sense to timber over, which immediately erases him from the minds of Shayne and Tyler. That leaves Static to suffer the entirety of their anger. They shoot him into the ropes, and smash their white tennis shoes into his stomach upon his return. The shot knocks him out on his feet, and he's soon knocked clear off them by a double dropkick from the duo! COLE D*LUX is on fire! COACH And for what? So they get their lesbian crush pin them after they've eliminated everyone for her? Elsewhere Moss and Soul wage war in the corner. Soul gains the upper hand with a rake of Moss's onyx eyes. Capitalizing on the advantage the cheap shot granted him, Soul speedily hustles Moss onto his shoulders in preparation for the Fro 2 Sleep! But Moss is saved from the lethal finisher when Benjamin grabs onto his boots and pulls him back down to the mat. Team Heyross then uses their numbers advantage to the turn the tables on Soul, flooring him with a double lariat! Their arms explode onto his chest, unleashing a blast of sweat from the darkened skin. Eyes wide with furor, the WDW champions hook his legs around their necks as though they were about to attempt a stretch muffler. However their planned move proves be far more ghastly then a simple submission hold. They twist him into the air, holding him upside down so that all the blood rushes to his afroed head. Once they witness his face turn several shades of blue, they execute their master plan. They flip “Sweet” backwards, releasing him at the height of their move. Soul screams out in terror before his mouth is muffled by the jagged steel of the cage. He peels off like wrapping paper, crashing to the mat where bruises jut from his bleeding body. With Soul in dire need of medical attention, Heyross' boys turn their attention to crushing his partner's title hopes. Problematically, the lady killer isn't quite as easy to manhandle as Soul and batters the men as though they were common house flies. Moss falls into the ropes, his breath fleeing his body at a rapid pace. His partner fares no better, with jabs liberally decorating his face. Finally Rico knocks Benjamin off his feet with a diving lariat! “HEYROSS SUCKS!” “WRECKING CREW SUCKS! “HEYROSS SUCKS!” “WRECKING CREW SUCKS” COLE These fans having a tough time deciding who they hate more! Positioned next to his wounded enemy, Rico meets with little trouble in locking his rival down with his famous Rico Vice (Anaconda Vice)! COLE Could this be it Already enduring a miserable time in breathing, Benjamin has neither the will nor the way to fight free of the hold. Thankfully fortune smiles upon him, and sends his partner's stomping boots to the rescue. Unthankfully (not a word!), fortune fails to smile on Moss, and he's trapped into a full nelson from a mystery assailant. The soft baby oiled skin and heavy scent of Abercrombie perfume and cherry scented hair spray, alerts Moss that he's been accosted by Alix Maria Spezia. And that can only mean he's about to die of dysentery. She sweeps his leg out from under him and buries his face into the canas with the You have Died of Dysentery (full nelson face crusher). A pin quickly follows..... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE!! "YEAAAAAA!" COLE That's it for Team Heyross! COACH No! My prediction! My pick! My eighty thousand dollar bet! All ruined! Former WDW champions, six man champions, gone so abruptly. And with them goes my money! While Coach complains about being sent to the poor house a truly disturbing sight wafts from the entry doors. A haggard African American man, expensive clothes torn to shreds, body covered in blood both dried and fresh, eyes wrought with panic and horror. He's barely recognizable as Logan Mann. Most surprisingly, his wobbly legs are carrying him towards the battleground. “BOOOOOOOOO!” shout the fans, showing no pity for his obvious plight. COLE What is he doing out here? COACH What a valiant competitor Logan Mann is. Beaten down by two of the biggest underachieving slackers known to the OAOAST, he still comes out to fight the good fight even without his partner. This one is for you, Synth! Wherever you are, this one is for you! Dragging his wounded carcass into the ring apparently. Stumbling about like the town drunk at two AM, he swings at anything that moves, real or imagined. While most of the fighters can easily avoid his sloppy attempts at offense, Tyler Bryant inadvertently stumbles into a kick that doubles him over. Mann's blood soaked face lights up at the position Bryant is stuck in. He coils his hands around the boybander's neck then dives backwards, spiking his head into the canvas with a Percussion DDT! The audience is disgusted by Logan's interference and taunts him heavily. Ignoring their insults, Logan actually attempts a pinfall. Both referees can only look on in dismayed confusion as they refuse to score Logan's pinning attempt. “Why not? I'm in the match! Fuck you! Fuck you! I'll kill you!” he rants, sending slobber and blood flying about the ring. “Yo, Logan!” a pair airy, sleek male voices scream. “Look up, dude!” “God, is that you?” “Fuck yes, little bitch!” The voices say before the camera pans up to reveal the Sk8r Boiz located atop the platforms on the corners, striking the FREAKING AWESOME Christ in Rio pose. "YEAAAAAA!" Logan's mangled blood caked face turns white with horror as the image of his new worst enemies fills his vision. Frozen in place by crippling fear, he can only scream for mercy from his predators. There will be no mercy forthcoming from the pride of the Nerdly family, and they leap from their roosts with twin shooting star presses! COLE OH MY! Logan's body is sandwiched beneath the incredible missiles and pain explodes onto every inch of his frame. But his screams are drowned out by an entire arena chanting “HOLY SHIT!” COLE Good lord, Coach! Did you see what the Boiz just did? Totally owning Logan Mann and Synth Esizer, tonight. Rockers your time is up! Cloaked in river of applause from an appreciative audience, The Boiz vacated the premises through the stands, slapping hands with their legion of fans as they exit. Back in the ring there's still the matter of Tyler Bryant still feeling the ill affects of the Percussion DDT. Ever the opportunistic one, ol Rico hooks his leg for a pinfall... ONE TWO But Krista Isadora Duncan returns an earlier favor and breaks up the pinfall! In response to the simple act of kindness, Tyler professes his undying love to his savior, and offers himself as her personal servant for eternity in gratitude. Kinda creeped out, Krista has to make an excuse to get away from her adoring fan, “Uh, I gotta go....peel some potatoes. Yeah.” Elsewhere Soul is trapped in the corner with Alix and Shayne buzzing around him like wasps. Brave stings first, slashing his knee into Soul's jaw! Moments later, Alix's faux fur covered wrist terrorizes his nose! From the corner does he stagger, white fluff dribbling from his mouth. His fur filled mouth soon tastes the canvas, as Alix takes him down with a face crusher! “RADICAL, DUDETTE! COWABUNGA!” Shayne shouts, drawing a “WTF did he just say?” look from anyone within ear shot. As the crowd chants her name, Alix ascends to the top rope. While there she tries to repay their kindness with words of Buddhist wisdom, “I embrace eternity! I am one! I am l-o-v-e, love!” And with that Buddah's favorite celebrity chef flies from the turnbuckles with a 630 splash! She lands with picture perfect impact, ripping away what little air remains in his lungs. Hebner counts the resulting pinfall... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE!! "YEAAAAAA!" But wait! A baseball sliding Rico destroys both the pinfall and the crowd's enraptured mood. COLE I could've sworn that was it! Rico lifts Alix up by her teeny tiny tube top and wraps her into a butterfly lock. As she's sorely lacking the strength and energy required to fight free of the hold, Rico is able to easily lift her and slam her downwards with a tiger driver. The torment settles quickly in Ally's body and her face goes blank with lifelessness. Thusly Rico decides to attempt a crucial pinfall..... ONE TWO Alix calls upon her last ounce of strength to kickout, popping the capacity crowd in the process. After failing to get the three count, an annoyed Rico stands before his opponent has an opportunity to collect her bearings. Upon measuring Alix and zeroing in on the perfect target to hit, De Janeiro leaps into the air and extends his elbow out, slicing it through Ally's neck on his landing! Alix painfully howls into the night sky, leading the worried spectators to clap their hands in unison to rally the babyface. However, the chortling Rico is back on his feet and itching to inflict more damage to the adored girl. He backs into the ropes, and bounces off, once again jumping as he nears Alix weakened body. This time he extends his elbow out and sadistically smashes it into her forehead! COACH At some point, Cole, they ain't gonna be able to survive all this! Shayne Brave would love to come to Alix's aid, but there's just the teensy little problem of Scotty Static trying to use the cage as a cheese shredder against his face. Brave manages to put his tennis shoe onto the ropes to block his forward momentum and keep his handsome facial features in tact. Seeking to fight fire with fire, he grabs Static's sandy blond hair and attempts to ram his head through the wall. However the nimble cruiserweight manages to get his foot up and evade a grizzly disfigurement. Seconds later, Static busts through the stalemate by finally managing to hurl the youthful grappler into the cage! Brave's slender figure convulses wildly as the pain courses through it. He slowly sinks to his knees where he's ripe for the vile intentions of Scotty Static. Lucikly he's saved from SS's evil intentions by the advances of Tyler. The boybander grabs onto Static's leather legging's and lifts him into the sky with a flap jack! Unfortunately the ring ropes catch Static before the mat can, and he's left gasping for air. “LET'S GO D*LUX!” “G-P-X!” “LET'S GO D*LUX!” “G-P-X!” “DUELLING CHANTS! DUELLING CHANTS! DUELLING CHANTS!” While the crowd continues their inane prattle, Bryant works his towards the black platforms atop the cage. He moves with great haste, wishing to position himself while his rival still remains an injured husk. Sadly, his efforts are for naught, as Johnny Jackson trails his position with demonic quickness. The warriors meet atop the platform, and the surrounding audience members can scarcley contain their excitement. With each passing blow they level against each other, a mammoth cheer fills the air. Standing on the edge, in ever present danger of plummeting to his demise, a flicker of trepidation passes over Jackson's visage. He lunges forward in an attempt to switch positions with Bryant, but earns only only a cargo pants leg into the midsection for his trouble. He then curses in a horrified tone when Bryant shoves him into a standing head scissors. Tyler's hands curl through his stringy black hair, and a cloak of of uncertainty envelopes him as he observes the expansive distance between himself and the floor. COLE I don't think Tyler knows if he should go through with it! Whether he should or he shouldn't is not a decision left up to him, thanks to a low blow from Jackson! Experiencing none of the butterflies of his foe, Jackson hurriedly crooks his arm around the boy''s head, and nonchalantly dips backwards with a deathly DDT! Eighteen thousand mouthes are held agape while the competitors descend from the sky like a flaring meteor shower. COLE Oh my! COACH God! BOOOM! The horrifying impact of their bones shattering against the canvas can be heard well into the next county. The cacophonous chants of “HOLY SHIT” can be heard well into the next time zone. Unnoticed bellow the utter destruction of two human beings is Shayne cracking Static's skull with the Shaynedrop (Fall forward diamond cutter)! Brave hooks the leg for a pinfall that's scored by Hebner. Only several inches to the left, near crippled Jackson covers the body of Bryant. Unaware of Hebner's count, Silverman scores this fall... ONE! TWO! THREE? Instantly confusion abounds, and the audience is left in stunned silence, unsure of which team claimed victory. Their befuddlement certainly isn't alleviated by watching the officials raise the hand of two opposing team members. While Shayne mimics the silenced awe of the fans, Jackson is far more proactive, passionately lobbying for D*LUX's elimination. Even the brawling Wrecking Crew and COD have to slow their pace to observe the strange proceedings. COACH Yo, who got the pin? Who's staying around and who's going back to the locker room? COLE Well....I don't even know! I..I...I guess you could make a case either way. But, well, this is pretty unusual. Sensing that the crowd is about to turn very hostile, Silverman and Hebner huddle to come to some sort of agreement on the sticky situation. Jackson hovers behind them, his slight country accent breathless in it's pleading of GPX's case. COLE Having two referees out here was meant to prevent chaos and disorder, but it looks like that sure hasn't happen! After several seconds of debate the referees reach a conclusion. Hebner heads to the edge of the cage nearest Buffer, and informs the announcer of their decision. As he prepares the recite his announcement, Jackson beams with joy, assured his lobbying will bear fruit. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, OAOAST officials have decided that as a result of the double pinfall both The Global Party Exchange and D*LUX have been eliminated! Jackson doesn't even wait for the final syllable to be finished before his temper flares murderously. The cage door is swung nearly of it's hinges, and the red in the face brawler storms through with the force of a million bats pouring through hell. Behind him, his partner dejectedly staggers along , every bit as angry, but in any shape to show it. The heated crowd more then makes up for his inability to react, polluting the air with boos and jeers for the decision. D*LUX's departure is much more low key then the melodramatic rantings of Johnny Jackson. Shayne helps Tyler to the back after wishing Krista and Alix good luck. COACH Ain't that some bullshit? I don't give a damn about D*LUX but GPX has put in work! Two time OAOAST tag team champions, legends in the field. You give the legends the benefit of the doubt. COLE Hey, D*LUX were three time HI-YAH tag team champions! COACH What? Are you serious? That's like trying to say Chris Simon is on Wayne Gretzky's level because Simon scored sixty goals in junior hockey. That's minor league 'ish, GPX is major. It's not fair! Perhaps the only two people pleased to witness the double elimination are the HI-YAH champions, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. With D*LUX and GPX removed from contention, the lone obstacle between the Wrecking Crew and immortality is the rapidly decaying corpse of the OAOAST champions, Chicks Over Dicks. Neither man can hold back a triumphant chuckle as they observe the remains of their battered foes strewn about the warzone. As Alix's injuries are slightly less severe then Krista, she becomes the primary target, while Krista is considered a minor irritant. Holstering Alix upright, Rico draws his elbow forward and hurls it with pinpoint precession. A startled cry emerges from her throat as the harsh strike sputters into her head. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Alix staggers backwards, grabbing for the ropes to steady herself for a counter attack against her aggressors. But she doesn't move quickly enough, and Rico knocks her into a corner with one enormous swipe of his hand. A defiant hatred blazes through her cobalt eyes, but the fiery emotion does nothing to stop the Wrecking Crew from snatching her into a front face lock and hurriedly placing her atop the turnbuckle. They follow her up the ropes, and without a seconds delay plunge her to the floor with a double superplex. Her body shatters in an explosion of sweat, fur, brown hair and screams. While Rico leans against the ropes, lovingly massaging his forest of chest hair, Soul attempts a pinfall... ONE TWO To the audience's amazement and delight, Alix weakly pulls her shoulder of the mat. The simple effort bludgeons her petite body, and labored breathes spray from her mouth. COACH The end is near, Cole. I can feel it in my bones. An eight month title reign is coming to an end. Now the real wrestlers get to run with the belts again. De Janeiro angrily rips Alix from the canvas. He launches his knee into her six packed stomach, and flames of pain scorch her torso. She croaks in agony, stepping backwards to try and avoid further beatings. Regrettably, she stumbles into the waiting arms of Lucius Soul. Before she can put forth her defense, he raises her overhead into a standing Fireman's carry. He steps forward to pull her thrashing figure away from the ropes and then shoots his knee into her skull with the Fro 2 Sleep. The wounded champion topples to the mat, her ruined form joining the blood and sweat of those that came before her. Soul presses his knees against her shoulder and foists his arms into the air in celebration, as Hefner counts his pin... ONE TWO But Krista shoves him away from his victim! "KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!" Hurrying forward, Rico places his boot into Miss California's skull, effectively ending her moment of offense. As she trembles on the mat, Rico blasts a seemingly unending torrent of stomps into her shoulder, leaving his foot print across her glittering top. She closes her eyes and grits her teeth as his stomps land with the strength of a wrecking ball. Eventually Rico lifts her away from the canvas, and stuffs her into a standing head scissors. Infuriating an already outraged crowd even further, he seductive gyrates his hips, making sure his muscles rub down every inch of her appalled face. “Who wants a moustache ride?” He wonders, still juggling Krista's head with his thigh muscles. “BOOOOOOO!” Rico lifts Miss California into position for his Moustache Ride (Razor's Edge). However, due to the fact that both their bodies are lathered in sweat and baby oil, Krissy is fortunate enough to be able to slide down his hairy back. Despite her terrible health, she tries to put her new found freedom to good use with a springboard body splash! But Rico's powerful arms subdue her efforts, and her lithe figure is brought into the canvas with a powerslam. Her head rings, and every bone in her body vibrates like a fork. Assuming, her will and ability to fight is all but evaporated, Rico hooks the leg for a pin ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Krista was able to kickout, and the fans are ecstatic. COLE I don't know how she's doing it, Coach. And judging by the confused look on Soul's face he doesn't know either. Rico shrugs off his own objections over the pin and rises to a vertical base. Krista is soon to follow but gets forearmed in the neck for her tardiness. Blue eyes water and breath becomes short when another torrid blow crashes into her stacked chest. She totters from side to side, unable to mount a defense against Baron's vivacious brawling assault. Feeling his rival sufficiently weakened, The Brazilian moves behind her and locks her into a back suplex set-up. He hoists her into the sky, lifting him so high you'd swear he could touch the scoreboard. However at the climax of the hold, Krista deftly slips out of it, landing perfectly on her feet. Rico, confused on what just happened, spins around only to get flung halfway across the ring with a hurricanrana! The crowd's cheers are deafening for Krista's show of life. However, her move may have done her more harm then good, as it sets Soul on the rampage. The moment she rises from the canvas, his leg lariat slashes across her face, draining all the color and life from her body. Soul makes a cover, pressing his forearm into her face to gain an advantage... ONE TWO Alix emerges to stop short the fall! "YEAAAAAA!" Annoyed by Alix's meddling, Rico zooms to the ropes, returning to level the girl with a swipe of his meaty forearm. Alix reacts as if he just had a piano dropped on his head, sagging to the mat and hollering in unbridled pain. Rico scoops Melvin up, and after delivering two punches to her stomach he throws her into the ropes. She's taken head over heels by raised knee, and endures a cringe worthy neck first landing that has several audience members in tears. Stroking his 'stache, Rico prepares to really crank up the adolescent water works, as he lifts Ally up and places her into a standing head scissors. He crosses his arms under her torso and then her up so that she hangs horizontal to the mat. With the fans steady in their stream of hatred for him, Rico kneels down and drops shoulder first onto his knee, utilizing his awful shoulder breaker! While the searing pain speeds throughout Alix's body, Rico hooks the outside leg for a pin. ONE TWO She kicks out, bringing forth cheers from the audience! However, the South American is relentless, and once again takes hold of the outside leg for a pin.... ONE TWO Once again Alix kicks out, and Rico empties a stream of Portuguese profanity in response. He dishes out a trilogy of stinging stomps to Alix's aching head, as he arrogantly returns to caressing his 'stache. Finished with his stomping, he sinks to his stomach where he's able to easily trap Alix into the Rico Vice! Alix instantly feels the horrible affects of this poisonous hold, a crippling constriction on her neck and a difficulty in breathing. Five seconds into the move, Silverman starts to inquire as to whether she wishes to submit or not. Rico's heavy accent answers for her, telling the zebra that his foe has no more will to fight. "LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!" In spite of the groundswell of support for his antagonist, Rico able to quell any resistance, locking the plucky babe down in the center of the ring. Salvation seems so far away for Alix, as the entirety of his vision is engulfed by hairy body of the HI-YAH tag team champion. De Janeiro squeezes on the hold as tight as the referees' overbearing rules will allow, making an act as simple as breathing a grueling effort for the Los Angeles native. Knowing that her body can't endure much more of this torture, Alix takes up the arduous task of rising to his feet. Despite Rico's unheard of strength, she's amazingly able to stand, renewing hope within her and the audience. Sensing that his hold is rapidly deteriorating, Rico switches to a basic front facelock, using it to trap and wrench Alix's shoulder. This difficulty in her fight for freedom expands beyond belief, as she's now forced to fight back as a one armed woman. Desperation and worry lining her face, Alix tries to counter with a hip toss. But Rico stands frim, and effortlessly brings Alix back down to his level. He decides he's through with wasting his time with a submission hold, and would rather destroy her with his finisher The Mustache Ride. He roughly jerks her into the air, but at the very height of the move the agile lady shifts her body free and lands behind her foe! COLE Alix escaped the Mustache Ride! Enraged, Soul whirls around to decapitate Alix with a stiff spin kick. But The Hollywood Bad Girl is one step ahead of him, smashing his face with a crowd popping dropsault! As Soul topples over the culinary sensation speeds to the cables. Upon bouncing back she tries to scissor her silken legs around Rico's waist. While she encounters success in that attempt, Rico earns control of the exchange by gripping onto her legs and flipping her out into a waistlock. He then tries his damnedest to launch Alix into the stratosphere with a German Suplex! However the Rosie O'Donnell's favorite sports entertainer beautifully back flips her way out of disaster! Rico can hardly believe the resiliency of the champion and is beside himself with disgust. Guided by his anger and impatience, he blindly charges Alix only to eat a Burning Sensation When You Urinate (sunset flip piledriver)! "YAAAAAA!" The exhausted girl clamps down on Rico for what she prays will be the final pinfall of the contest. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! Soul breaks up the pinfall, and the fans are beyond livid. Paying little mind to the pool of anger that swirls around him, Soul angrily tears Alix away from his injured partner, and hauls her onto his shoulders fro the Fro 2 Sleep COACH This is it! But Krista's powerful legs carry her forward, and with feral blue eyes blazing, she rips through Soul's unprotected midsection with a spear! The gladiators smash downwards, landing into a twisted jumble of exhausted bodies. But within the jumble is a pinning situation, as both Alix and Krista lie atop Soul. Silverman counts the ensuing fall, and a standing arena counts along with him..... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! The audience's cheers for the historic three count go beyond deafening, reaching points perhaps never before heard in n OAOAST ring. “C-O-D” chants are the order of the day, although it's questionable it their intended targets can even hear them. The sullen Wrecking Crew departs the cage, beltless and heartbroken for the first time since April. COLE Three titles have been united under one banner, and that banner is being carried by Chicks Over Dicks! What a historic match we've seen tonight. What great efforts by all six teams, and what an achievement by Alix and Krista. Hardly even aware of that achievement, the girls are much too exhausted to put on any sort of victory celebration. The most their able to achieve is a tender kiss on the lips, before their ragged bodies cede totally to fatigue. The steel structure that holds the victorious lovers raises towards the ceiling, and it's places comes a torrential downpour of pink and red confetti. The gorgeous celebration simply increases the joyful roar of the crowd who excitedly sing the names of the two champions. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner and first ever.... "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" COLE What the hell? The unwelcome noise tailspins the crowd's mood into one of infuriation and the atmosphere turns markedly hostile. Trash and debris litter the entry way, once the doors part to reveal Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright, and a Siclopse toting Molly Nerdly. Clad in matching pinstriped business suits, Wright and Moneymaker sport grins of devious intent. As the three saunter down the entry ramp, Moneymaker holds a microphone in front of his lips, while Molly records the conversation for posterities sake. COLE Something tells me these guys aren't here to offer their congratulations. YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! MONEYMAKER “Your winner and first ever One and Only World Tag Team Chamipons, Chicks Over Dicks.” How I hate those words, as I hate hell, all lesbians. You see for the better part of the year I have poured a limitless amount of cash into schemes designed to get the tag titles away from Chicks Over Dicks, and burn these lesbian witches at the stake. Yet every one of my efforts ended the same. An escape by the dyke demon, and it's stranglehold on the OAOAST and America, growing larger then ever before. I, a billion dollar heir, come from a family of unlimited financial resources. But that does not deem me stupid or careless with my money. At some point I enjoy seeing a return on my investment. That is these lesbians choking on a river of blood, strapped to a stretcher, wheeled towards the nearest hospital, and their subsequent death pronounced to the rejoicing of millions of right thinking Americans nationwide. But thus far returns on my investment have been scarce. That ends tonight. Because tonight I take the reigns of history into my own hands! Tonight, myself, and Mister Wright, are the eighth team entered into this scramble cage match! Tonight, Mister Wright and I will become the first ever One and Only World Tag Team Champions! Tonight Mister Wright and I curse homosexuality to its grave! COLE No! “BOOOOOO!” Accompanied by the hatred of an entire arena, Wright and Moneymaker strut down the ramp with camera toting Molly filming the entire escapade. COLE This can not be! They...they...they...can not do this. COACH Yes! And why not? Finally, the titles are out of the hands of these scandalous performers, and into the hands of the gods, Mister Moneymaker, and Mister Wright. As Moneymaker gruffly demands a shocked Silverman into the confetti drenched ring, Wright stands above the defiled pairing, orating their demise. WRIGHT Such women are not fit to bear the prestige of championships. Weep for them, for they are lost! Observe well. Watch and mark you the suffering of those who must rule, yet lack the power. Their lives are forfeit, and their championships with them. The OAOAST will again know morality. For good and for all, we shall bring their futile attempts at sexual rebellion to an end. Like bullets dancing through the skies in a dog fight, bolts of debris criss cross the area surrounding Wright, mixing with the confetti to make the ring look like an overflowing landfill. But through the hellstorm of anger and garbage, stands Wright, a bastion of impeccable cool, as he places his boot onto Krista's chest. Unable to refuse Moneymaker's orders, a despondent Silverman scores the fall, as Molly zooms on Krissy's unmoving face. ONE COLE Somebody has to do something! TWO COLE No! THREE! The bell is rung upon Moneymaker's vehement orders. Past the stunned abhorrence of the audience, the billion dollar heir slides into the squared circle. His rugged facial features light up with the sparkle of diamonds, and tears of pride well in his eyes. Finally his summer long quest has come to a glorious end, and the joyful expression that marks his triumph will live forever in the footage of the Siclopse. Wright stands atop the third rope as proud and as arrogant ever, delighted to know he'll leave Minnesota with OAOAST gold in his possession. With great reluctance, Buffer rises to make the unwelcome announcement. BUFFER The winners of this match and first ever One and Only World Tag team Champions....THE ENTERPRISE! COLE I can't believe it. They weren't even entered into this match! They aren't even dressed to fight! And now they're tag team champions. Picking off Chicks Over Dicks like vultures. Like damn vultures. Exorbitant titles wrapped around the waist of detested villains. Molly beaming as she raises their hands into the sky. A crowd thrust into the pits of despair. Fallen heroines clueless and unconscious in the background. These are the final images before we fade out. Edited August 5, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted August 4, 2007 (edited) CREDITS gee i wonder? anyway, let's lol at the pirates because man do they suk I mean seriously, really watch that video. fuk do the pirates suck this really puts in persecptive Edited August 4, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
