MMA Comments that Don't Warrant a Thread

[Lei Tong 0]

I have quick reactions and pretty good flexibility to go with "rubber limbs" so I'm not as handicapped defense wise as most people in my position would be.

 

I would still arm-triangle you, motherfucker.

 

Man, if I could cut out the beer bloat, I would fucking rule ass at the 160lbs. classes at local tournaments. Too badf I'm an overweight 178 at this very moment, with another pound of Jacvk Daineil's waiting to go down my throat.

 

iQue un borracho!

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

The Ezekiel Choke is my weapon of choice.

[Lei Tong 0]

Drunken bouncer story time:

 

When I was still working security, we used to get tons an TONS of cage fighting wannabes in the club (this being SoCal and all), with their claims ranging anywhere from "probable" to "are you fucking kidding me?" Now, if you're an actual pro MMA fighter/boxer who's been on TV a few times (Chris Arreola being a good example of a club regular who has proven himself), chances are that all of the bouncers are well informed of your status and will treat yuou like a fucking VIP. But for every legit guy who comes into the clubs, there's a half-dozen, semi-ripped motherfucker who talk about how they're "23-0, nigga!" to the head bouncer. Now, far be it for me to talk shit on anyone who steps into the cage (being a meager 0-1-1 myself in amateurs bouts), but when you're talking to a group of security personnel who will just as soon take a MagLite to your fucking skull as look at you, the last thing you want to do is acknowledge the fact that we have even more reason than normal to jump you 4-1. Even amongst these guys, however, the Grappler's Quest Champion stands out.

 

Now, calling youself a "grappling"/"wrestling" champiuon is a quick way of alerting of club security that you have no clue how to take a punch. That's bad enough. But DO NOT pick out the normally most even-tmepered bouncer as the target of your drunken shit-talk (I should mention at this point that even I dwarfed this 5'7, 135lbs., pasty-white motherfucker who decided to toot his own horn), as doing so will ensure that very other member of club security has eyes set on you.

After causing us all to explode with uproarious laughter at his list of accolades (he's a Desert Quest and Grappler's Quest champion who's just signed an ad deal with Tapout at the age of 18), he decides that the most chill bouncer in the entire club (a 6'0, 220lbs., bulky Mexican) is the best guy to single out as victim of his grappling skills. Needless to say, said bouncer quickly shoves him to the ground when Grappling Champion tries to clinch with him. In fact, this process repeats itself several times until the patron excuses himself.

 

Lo andd behold, shortly after leaving my job at the club, the same know-nothing kid decides to show back up to the club, and resumes his low-alchohol-tolerance feuled rampage. Long-story-made-slightly-shorter, he ends up getting knocked on his ass, and then trying to armbar said security gurd before having his small ass lifted and slammed into the waterwall, cracking thr back of his head open. He tried to complian to the cops afterwards, only to be told that he ran the risk of being detained for underage drinking. Though different in execution, cops and bouncer are on the same side.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

**** 1/2

[Lei Tong 0]

I don't claim to be the baddest motherfucker on the site, but I willl say that I've probably seen more shit than yout average poster.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Excellent story.

[LaParkaMarka 0]

That was a fun story. If you have any more, start a thread in General about it...could be a fun read. Bouncers must encounter some fairly entertaining shit every weekend.

[Lei Tong 0]

I have more, but it's considered bad karma amongst the guys I worked with to constantly share stories with non-bouncers. The guys who normally do so are annoying idiots who just like to toot their own horn. I readily admit that I didn't fight much during my time, and received ass kickings almost as much as I handed them out.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

I have more, but it's considered bad karma amongst the guys I worked with to constantly share stories with non-bouncers. The guys who normally do so are annoying idiots who just like to toot their own horn. I readily admit that I didn't fight much during my time, and received ass kickings almost as much as I handed them out.

 

Me and my niggaz would fuck you dudes up, like we do the bouncers here in Calgary...

[Lord of The Curry 0]

"Bouncers Code"

[The Niggardly King 0]

The only cool bouncer's be a Samoan one.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

So very wrong. The only bouncer in the history of bouncers worth a shit has a mullet, is named Dalton and says shit like "Pain don't hurt." End of story.

[Lei Tong 0]

John Doe & Terry Funk in the same movie = win

 

Oh, and I can't do justice to just how awkwardly hilarious it is to hear guys threaten to tap someone out in a club.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Fuck that fist fighting MMA, that means jackshit in a club fight... When I get in a club/bar fight, I don't think on how I'm going to pull of a triangle choke from guard, I just grab the nearest beer bottle and bash it on someones head. Now that's a really bar brawl!

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Hatsu Hioki will be returning to Montreal on October 3rd to defend his TKO FW belt against Theirry Quennville. Lei Tong rejoices.

 

(Rudo- You down?)

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

It's my ma's burfday.

 

So, yeah. Sure.

 

I've been enjoying Lei Tongs slow decent into full blown alcoholism.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

I figure we just to to MTL for the weekend and hit up scalpers.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

If this rumor gets some legs we can actually start a thread for it but over at BK, Sherdog and other boards there's word going around that Randy's coming back to UFC and fighting in the main event of UFC 91 in Portland. Supposedly the guy on the UG boards that broke this was the first guy to have word on Aleks failing his medicals and that Goodridge would be his replacement.

[Lei Tong 0]

I've been enjoying Lei Tongs slow decent into full blown alcoholism.

 

Actually, this is the recovery period. I'm nowhere near as bad as I was the same time last year.

 

Also, chances are Hioki finds a way to drop a JD. Flaky motherfucker.

[Darthtiki 0]

So Jon Koppenhaver is officially changing his name to War Machine because TNA threatened to sue

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Wouldn't Marvel Comics own the rights to War Machine?

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Why is TNA, which is on Spike TV, threatening to sue a UFC fighter, which is also on Spike TV?

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

If this rumor gets some legs we can actually start a thread for it but over at BK, Sherdog and other boards there's word going around that Randy's coming back to UFC and fighting in the main event of UFC 91 in Portland. Supposedly the guy on the UG boards that broke this was the first guy to have word on Aleks failing his medicals and that Goodridge would be his replacement.

 

I guess the deal is Randy will fight once, but once a unconditional release afterward. UFC already turned this deal down earlier this year

[Ced 0]

SO in case you didn’t notice in my last fight the UFC did NOT use my nickname when I fought. Turns out some gay ass wrestling federation threatened to sue them because they recently named one of their wrestlers The War Machine Rhino and trademarked the name. Too f*ckin’ bad that I have been using this name for 6 years, have it tatted on my body and it is what my fans yell out when I’m fighting. If you know my personality then you know damn well I am not gonna let some faggot ass, FAKE wrestler steal MY name. SO 6 weeks ago I filed a change of name request and today I had court to make my name officially WAR MACHINE. lol. F*ckin’ funny right? Didn’t really wanna have to do it but I am sure as hell not lose MY nickname.

 

Well played, Jon. Well played...

[The Niggardly King 0]

War Machine

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

He's a fucking tool, I'd like to see him go to some of the MMA stars who wrestle on the side or in the past and call them a "faggot ass, FAKE wrestler"... The funny thing is War Machine also started out with the Lions Den, with Ken Shamrock who is a "faggot ass, FAKE wrestler".

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

Something of interest regarding the CSAC:

 

-- William Douglas of the California State Athletic Commission confirmed on today's members-only Figure Four Daily that their contract has been accepted by the WADA-certified UCLA lab, which is big news for a number of reasons. They will now be in line for testing for human growth hormone and the threshold for failures is going to go down on everything. Marijuana, for example, is going to go from 50 ng/ml down to 15. Gonna be some unhappy fighters in that state very soon. This is a fascinating radio show for MMA fans as Douglas gives a detailed look at exactly how drug testing works, why claims of false positives and "CSAC screw-ups" are usually total BS, and much more.

 

F4W

 

Nick Diaz can't be happy.

 

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Marijuana isn't a performance enhancing drug... Fuck what anyone says.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Yes it is, it be making a nigga go in Matrix Max Payne Bullet Time Slow Mo and shit. It's like Spiderman 1 when Peter could see that jocks punches coming in slow motion

[Burning Pirate Ship Sex 0]

Hasn't Rhino been going by "The War Machine" since about '99?