Stephen Joseph

btw, MNF had THE ROCK automatically, MNF beats WWE

PK, excellent job on the main event

SJ responds to the Tag Title loss CWM vs. SJ

Nice job metroman

Okay, Give me two days, though maybe just one day if its half assed. PMing you a skeleton Tony, please make sure to approve it so like, everyones cool

If Hoff isn't around, shouldn't we move the World title to someone who is? EDIT: Who was supposed to write the tag match. I know I had the intro, but with working overtime last week and this, I haven't had much of any time to devote. Things are less crazy now, so I can write it up if no one else has.

Ill do my part tomorrow. My apologies, had to work overtime this whole weekend, didnt leave me much time for anything else.

as long as im an upstart I can help out too

About the mural Two players, one white, one black ...

I thought he was talking about Walt being black <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The game that they were playing, Othello, has only white and black pieces. You know, I'd actually buy this in a way...

2) Lord of the Curry, that Roussaeu thing is a total fake. It's appeared everywhere but rousseau in fact never wrote anything like that. I checked it out myself last night, couldn't find diddly except a few days ago that summary started appearing on alot of lost messageboards. 3)The painting had the number "108" on it, the sum of the numbers. As for a screencap, I can't find a good one. I'm really leaning towards thinking that the opening scene, up until the explosion, was a flashback.

1) Desmond doesn't control the security system 2) NOTICE the plaster buckets. Desmond has sealed himself into his bunker. Hell, he probably broke the ladder. 3) Parkinson's disease - look at the CR label on the injection. CR is one of two drugs used to combat this degenerative nerve disease. 4) The infection is out there, he's innoculating immediately when he hears the BANG~! 5) Notice the bunk bed? Hmm, I wonder who his partner in grime was? time for my uber-spooky point How do you know the beginning wasn't a flashback merged with real time? Was his place not spotless and his face clean-shaven (okay back-side) and trimmed during the flashback. Why so grimy at the end. Time does not apply on this island like you think it does. Finally, Danielle's team went crazy after 2 months, that's what I like to call the incubation period. By my count, they have 19 days left... And by the way, I was elated to see the magnetic pull...glad something weird I said was indeed right

What? Not much insider info to be said here. I really don't get the feeling he cares much for the WHHHHEEE anymore anyways.

god darn that was a great show though...its been too long!

Time for Popick's wacky spoilers (those that are , are hidden) 1) Okay, quarantine was written on the inside of the door. Pretty simple here, the quarantined area is OUTSIDE the door. 2) Desmond's an observer. He's also very well supplied. The dating on the computers is from the 70s, 80s, and early 90s. Weird. He has fresh cherries, yet listens to vinyl records and has an innoculation gun. 3) The Others 4) That wasn't Walt. That was the island. 5) Good thing Jack didn't push that button though. 6) Looks like the Hatch will be a shelter after awhile. 7) more Desmond

since no one else had a thread for this

oh whatever knk, im as smart markish as they come and I love seeing Flair with the gold.

I read that whole timeline. It really doesn't come across that Bush did that bad of a job here. He went about doing what it is that Presidents do, and relied on his directors to handle it. When they didn't, he accepted the responsiblity for the fed's failure. It also seems like the LA government and NO government were MORE incompetent than that of the Fed. Jesus, you don't accept aid packets from the Red Cross??!!

btw, Resources already being used are sunk costs. You don't consider them. You only consider the opportunity cost of any new action. Thus, what's the opportunity cost of staying in iraq vs. the opportunity cost of leaving. CIndy is crazy!

Does the new york times have any better options? ::yawn::

*Thunderkid and Reject are seen talking in their locker room, when HeldDOWN GM Calvin Szechstein walks in with a smile on his face.* REJECT So what about it? Do we got our match now? CALVIN Guys, THAT was excellent. Not only am I going to give you guys your match...but we're going to make history. At Dirty Deeds, for the OAOAST World tag team titles, it's going to be Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez against Thunderkid and Reject...inside of a 15-foot high steel cage! *The crowd goes crazy as TK and Reject get huge grins on their faces.* THUNDERKID Thanks a lot Calvin. You won't regret it. BZZZZTTT~! Announcer: Due to technical difficulties, the main event of Hoff vs. Tha Puerto Rican cannot be aired. Please enjoy this OAOAST classic. COLE Well, ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a wild night so far. But now, its all about the OAOAST Championship. But first, let me read a statement from OAOAST President Bill Watts regarding the speculation on the future of the two men involved in tonight’s match. It reads: “You will note that for the past two weeks, OAOAST Champion Axel and Number One Contender Hoff have been absent from all OAOAST Programming. I would like to assure the fans that these two men have NOT left the company, but were involved in intensive contract negotiations, which gave the OAOAST Board of Directors no choice but to remove them from all advertised dates. Axel and Hoff are both happy that the dispute is over, and both men cannot wait to wrestle for the OAOAST Championship tonight. Due to legal reasons, no member of the OAOAST can discuss the events of the last two weeks, so the company would appreciate it if no questions were asked. We hope you enjoy the following Main Event, as the two top OAOAST Superstars clash for the most important championship in the world today.” COACH Well, there you have it, as Mr. Watts said; we can’t talk about that, so let’s get on with our Main Event! COLE Axel versus Hoff. The two most successful young stars in OAOAST History. It’s interesting though, because whenever these two meet each other, something seems to happen so that we cannot get a decisive winner. But rest assured ladies and gentlemen, we will get a winner tonight. Guys, who are you pulling for here? COACH Well it’s no secret I’ve always been a fan of Hoff’s work, and he holds the edge tonight. Six foot five inches, two hundred seventy-five pounds. The big man has a height and weight advantage, and he’ll be trying to exploit that advantage as soon as possible in this match. Hoff has shown that he can zero in on the back with ease, as well as torture with the Ankle Lock. He’d be well served to go for either of those body parts, as Axel would be virtually powerless on one leg, or with a shattered spine. CABOOSE I’m definitely pulling for Axel tonight. The guy has been a great OAOAST Champion so far, he’s defeated Tony Brannigan, CWM, Crystal, and a host of other talent. So Hoff won a glorified Battle Royal. So what? Axel has proved time and time again that you can’t count him out. Axel has also been known for going for a body part, early in his career he worked the leg, but now we have seen a shift to working on the neck of his opponent to set up for high impact moves like the Brainbuster, the Axel Slam, and that devastating Inverted Piledriver, Dark Royalty. But I don’t think just the neck will do it guys; I think Axel has to focus on another body part as well. Perhaps an arm, or his old way of going after the leg. COLE Whatever the strategy is by these two men, it has to be sound, because Axel and Hoff are two of the toughest competitors to ever step into that squared circle, it’ll take a lot to get them down for a three count. CABOOSE Well remember, it took three men to beat Axel last time he was pinned, by Tony Brannigan a little over ten weeks ago. COLE Well, let’s send this one down to ringside, where Michael Buffer is standing by. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is our Main Event of the evening. It is scheduled for one fall, with a one hour time limit, and is for the One and Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Wrestling Championship of the WOOOOORRRRLLLLDDDD!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEAHHHH!!!” BUFFER Would you please welcome as they perform the respective theme songs, the OAOAST’s two favourite bands…. SEEEVENDUST AAAAAANNNNDDD DISTUUUURBED!!!! The light shines on the left hand side of the AngleMania stage, where Sevendust are ready to perform. The opening riff of ‘Black’ begins to play as the crowd go COMPLETELY insane. Sevendust are rocking out on the stage, with Lajon on vocals, ready to perform. The cue comes, and the hard rock song begins… Voices call, they call out my name, my name, my name. Well, they say I'm different. Well I'm not the same, same. You say you want to, ah, be like me. Well, boy let me tell ya, you don't know what I've seen. They say a devil lives in my soul. I promise not to let him take control… BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!” As the chorus begins, Hoff, clad in black tights with electric blue trim, steps out from behind the curtain to a thunderous ovation from the Chicago crowd. The challenger plays to the crowd, and then points at Sevendust, showing them respect as they continue with ‘Black’. I’m minding my own business! I ain’t doing noth-ing wro-ong! Hoff slaps a couple hands on his way to the squared circle, before entering the ring, and posing on the turnbuckles as Sevendust begin to end their short rendition of ‘Black’. They finish, and the crowd goes wild! COLE Wow, no one knew we’d be having a rock concert here tonight, that must have been what Axel was discussing with General Manager Calvin Szechstein! Just as Sevendust start, the spotlight leaves them and moves to the right hand side of the stage, where the Disturbed drummer begins to rhythmically play. The crowd once again go crazy, as they know that this music belongs to the champion. The guitarist begins playing soon after the drummer, who is joined by singer David Draiman. Can you feel that? …shit The music becomes louder, the cheers greater, and the song builds to… OW-A-A-A-A! BOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! The heavy metal band rock out with ‘Down with the Sickness’ as pyro shoots out all over the Rosemont Horizon. From beyond the smoke steps the OAOAST Champion, belt shining around his waist, perhaps for the very last time. Axel looks at the sold out crowd, pointing at his belt, and jogging over to Disturbed, fired up for his match. Drowning deep in my sea of loathing Broken your servant I kneel (Will you give in to me?) It seems what's left of my human side Is slowly changing in me (Will you give in to me?) Looking at my own reflection When suddenly it changes Violently it changes (oh no) There is no turning back now You've woken up the demon in me BOOOOM!!!!!! As the chorus begins, Axel hits the crucifix pose in the middle of the ramp, before walking down and entering the ring. Disturbed perform the chorus and then fade it out, with Axel acknowledging them as he poses. COACH Great stuff here guys, the crowd loves it, these two men are ready, and we are ready for our Main Event! For the incredibly over-done introductions, back to Michael Buffer. BUFFER Let me introduce first, the challenger. He stands six feet, five inches tall. Earlier tonight in the backstage area he weighed in at two hundred seventy five and one-quarter pounds. Known for his Heart, his Heroism, and his Hugeness. Coming into this company as a shy twenty-five year old in December of Two-Thousand Three, he soon shot to prominence with a victory over company founder CWM. From there he joined one of the most successful groups in company history, The Thrillogy, where he won the Twenty-Four Seven Championship from former World Champion Crystal. He then went on to defeat Crystal again at World Without End in October of Two-Thousand Four, this time to lift his first World Championship. After a hiatus due to injury, he came back stronger than ever, going on an amazing run where he defeated some of the biggest stars in our sport. His most recent success came last fourth of July, where he won the first prestigious BattleBowl, and therefore a shot at his second World Championship. Tonight is that title shot. Tonight, he believes, is his destiny. He is the master of one of the most feared, devastating finishing moves today, the Future Shock. He also has mastered the Rock Bottom, and the Ankle Lock submission. Ladies and Gentlemen, from Minneapolis, Minnesota.... HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH!!!!!” Hoff raises an arm to the crowd, who respond with a loud reaction, as Buffer continues. BUFFER Not to be outdone, Hoff’s opponent tonight. Standing six feet three inches tall, and weighing in a short time ago at a career high two hundred fifty-nine pounds. Known for Aggressiveness, Assertiveness and Application. Arriving in the US as a seventeen year-old rookie out of Australia, he began his career in Detroit, before debuting in this company in July of Two-Thousand Three. Becoming the first man to ever gain a pinfall victory over Brock Ausstin, his career went from strength to strength, as he defeated The Mad Cappa to lift the Revolution Trophy. In February of the following year he won his first title, the Twenty-Four Seven Championship, but his biggest glory would come in December of Two-Thousand Four, where against all odds, he defeated and retired one of the greatest wrestlers in this company’s history, Ragdoll, lifting the HI-YAH Championship for the second time in the process. This man then went on to outlast fourteen other superstars to win the Lethal Rumble in January of this year, and capped off his ascendancy by capturing the World Championship in the Main Event of AngleMania Four. He is the master of two of the most dangerous high impact moves in company history, the Axel Slam, and Dark Royalty. Originally from Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, and now residing in San Jose, California, he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING Two-Time! One and Only AngleSault Thread Professional Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the Americas, Europe, Asia, and most importantly Australia… THIS. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXEEEEEELLLLLLL!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH!” COLE My god, you wanna take a breath there Michael? COACH He’ll need a good drink of water after that marathon guys. After the introductions, Axel removes his title belt from his waist, taking perhaps one final look at it before handing it to the referee, who promptly raises it high in the air, before giving it to Michael Buffer, who takes it to the timekeeper’s position. COLE Well, we are all set. Both men are ready, and the bell is about to be rung in the Main Event for AngleSlam Two-Thousand Five! *DING DING DING* COACH We are underway! Both Axel and Hoff loosen themselves up for the start of the match, before coming to the centre of the ring, face to face. They exchange words, back off, and come together in a collar-and-elbow tie-up! Hoff has the leverage advantage though, pushing Axel into the corner, where the referee calls for a clean break. He gets it, and both men come back to the centre of the ring, where they lock up again. Axel quickly goes to the side headlock this time, Hoff tries to push the champion off, but Axel slides down to one knee and keeps the headlock on. Hoff gets to his feet and tries to push Axel off a second time, and he is successful, as Axel flies into the ropes. The champion comes off, and the two men meet, shoulder colliding with shoulder, with neither man giving an inch! COLE Both men went for a shoulder tackle on that exchange, but they are both too powerful for the other. This has started off very clean guys, and I hope it stays that way. Another lockup and this time it's Hoff who applies the side headlock, with Axel struggling to get out of the hold. Instead of trying to push Hoff to the ropes, Axel tries another method, using raw power to pick the challenger off of the ground and dump him back-first onto the canvas. But Hoff is relentless, keeping the side headlock in tact on the ground. Hoff rolls onto his stomach, putting the top of Axel’s head on the canvas so the blood rushes to his brain. The champion fights to his feet and tries to push Hoff to the ropes, but that doesn’t work, so he has no choice but to back into the ropes, and get the break. COACH Some very good technical wrestling shown by these two guys in the early going. A feeling out process if you will. CABOOSE I want to see the old Axel tonight, The Dark One, the man who used to bust guys open and not care. The man who retired Ragdoll! COLE Well there are no guarantees Caboose, so far this has been a very clean bout, and I for one hope that continues. Both men back off, and begin to circle the ring. Another tie-up, Axel goes behind the challenger with a rear waist lock. Hoff reverses, but Axel reverses the reversal, before taking Hoff down face first to the canvas, floating over and applying a front face lock to the challenger. COLE Nice counter into the front face lock by Axel, I’m interested as to how Hoff is going to get out of this hold, if he will need the ropes like Axel just did. Hoff tries to get to the ropes straight away, but Axel somehow rolls the both of them away from the ropes, keeping the front face lock in tact. Hoff struggles to his feet, having the burden of Axel’s weight as well, but still not being able to get out of the face lock! COACH Axel has that locked in tight, Hoff needs to counter. Hoff grabs the waist of Axel, and with all his strength, lifts the champion over his head into a Northern Lights Suplex! After the show of strength, Hoff cannot complete the suplex with a bridge, instead electing to take a short breather, as Axel does the same. CABOOSE I don’t like him, but that was a nice counter. Hard to pick a winner early, but I’m still going with Axel. COACH Only because you hate Hoff. CABOOSE That’s true, but Axel has impressed me. The crowd gives both men a nice ovation for a good display of technical wrestling to start off the match. They lockup for the umpteenth time, with Axel getting a side headlock. Hoff turns this into a hammerlock, and Axel reverses quickly. Hoff grabs Axel around the head and whips him over for a snapmare, but Axel uses his momentum to take the challenger over too, and into a pinning predicament! ONE! But Hoff rolls out, and both men are up. Hoff trips Axel and gets a lateral press, but the referee can’t get down to the mat in time to even make a one count, as Axel rolls out. Both men pop to their feet, facing each other in a fighting stance, and pause, eyeing each other as the Chicago faithful give another round of applause. COLE Well so far, this has been a very different match than I think we expected. Both champion and challenger take a step back, looking one another over as they circle. A brief pause, and they come together once again! Axel lunges for the challenger, but Hoff smoothly ducks underneath Axel's grasp and grabs him from behind. Axel reverses the rear waistlock, and Hoff kicks his legs up, rolling forward and trapping the champion in a modified victory roll! ONE! Axel quickly claps his legs together, hitting Hoff in the temples. The big man breaks the hold and Axel rolls onto his feet, while Hoff rolls backwards and gets up as well! Axel charges at Hoff, throwing a nasty clothesline, but Hoff ducks under and shoves Axel into the turnbuckles! Hoff kicks Axel in the midsection, then grabs him by the wrist and fires him across the ring! Axel puts on the brakes in the far corner, and turns to meet Hoff with another clothesline, but Hoff ducks it AGAIN and stops cold in the corner! Axel turns, and eats a big dropkick from Hoff that sends him down! The fans give a cheer as Hoff rolls up to his feet, and Axel slaps the mat in frustration! COACH You know, it's odd. Hoff is the larger of these two athletes, but I think he might just be a little quicker! COLE Hoff is a trememndous athlete, no doubt about it, and to take nothing away from Axel, who looks to be in the best shape of his life. CABOOSE Absolutely, both of these guys have been at the top of their games lately, and as much as it pains me to say it, they've gotten it done in that ring. Axel climbs to his feet, and Hoff waves him on. With a snarl, Axel darts in, and Hoff dashes backwards as the champion makes a grab for Hoff's left leg. Axel comes up to his full height, and grabs Hoff, trapping him in a side headlock. The big man hits the ropes, trying to push Axel off of him, but the champ holds onto the move, dragging Hoff down to the canvas. Hoff kicks his feet on the mat, then waves referee Robinson off as he checks on the big man's condition. COLE These two have put on a mat wrestling show so far, and they've shown a lot of tenacity doing it, not wanting to give an inch. Hoff tries to pry Axel's hands from his head, but Axel does it for him, letting go and rolling backwards, grabbing Hoff's left leg and holding it in place. Hoff tries to push up with his hands and get away, but Axel stops that with a forearm to the knee of the challenger! Hoff groans in pain, and Axel seizes the opportunity, climbing to his feet while holding Hoff's leg, and jumping up and driving a knee to the back of Hoff's thigh! COLE We all know about Hoff's knee injury not so many months ago, the one that cost him the World Title. CABOOSE Axel knows that, and focusing on that knee might bring up some anger in the challenger. Hoff uses his good leg to hop up off the mat, with Axel still hanging onto his left. Hoff leaps and tries a mule kick, but Axel wisely lets go of Hoff and the big man falls to the mat. Axel lays in a few stomps to the knee of Hoff, drawing a few scattered boos from the crowd. CABOOSE If the crowd is booing, Axel must be doing something right. COACH Axel's looking to bring back some memories on that left leg, playas. Axel reaches down and grabs that left leg by the ankle, hoisting it high into the air, and smashing the knee into the canvas! Hoff howls in pain, clutching his knee as Axel walks around him. Axel flips Hoff over, and goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! NO!! Hoff kicks out. CABOOSE Axel scoring our first near fall of the night, making Hoff expend energy while he's trying to recover. Axel gets to his feet, and lays in a boot to Hoff's chest before stalking in a circle around him. Axel comes to a stop at Hoff's feet, picking the left leg up again and kicking the side of the knee joint. Axel lets the limb fall as Hoff cries out in anguish. The champion picks Hoff up, with a cocky swagger, and grabs his left leg from a vertical base, spinning him down to the mat with a dragon screw legwhip! The fans pop for the maneuver as Hoff clutches at his knee! COLE What a move by the champion! Hoff is in a bad way! Axel gets up with a satisfied grin. He again pulls Hoff up by the hair, and grabs the leg--but Hoff surprisres the champion with an ENZIGURI!! Axel falls to the mat as Hoff crawls away! COACH DAYUM~! We haven't seen that move out of Hoff for a while! Hoff crawls to the corner as the fans cheer, but Axel gets to his feet and stalks Hoff, grabbing him from behind by the left leg! Axel pulls Hoff back, the big man hopping on one foot...but Hoff quickly does a somersault and comes up behnd Axel...and SLAPS ON THE ANKLELOCK!! The crowd goes BANANA!!!!!! COLE Anklelock applied, from out of NOWHERE!! Hoff has the hold on for only a second, though, as Axel rolls onto his back and kicks Hoff away. Hoff rolls up to his feet, hobbling, and Axel chagres forward, diving low and SPEARING the knee of Hoff!! Hoff flies into the air from the impact, doing a 360 and landing on his stomach!! COACH WHOA-HO!! That was SICK! COLE Good lord, Axel with a vicious chop block to Hoff's knee, that could have blown out the joint entirely! CABOOSE It's mean and it's vicious. I love it. Axel pops to his feet, the crowd still buzzing over the huge move. Hoff lies in a heap, cradling his left leg, and Axel swaggers around the ring, mimicing pulling two straps down from his chest. COLE Oh, good lord! Axel-- is he gonna do what I think he's gonna do? The fans cheer as Axel grabs Hoff's leg.....and APPLIES THE ANKLELOCK!!! CABOOSE YES! COLE Axel with Hoff's own Anklelock on him! This could be the end! Axel torques Hoff's leg as the crowd at the Horizon comes to life, some pulling for Hoff to tap, some looking for the challenger to break free. Hoff's back arches as he SCREAMS in pain, and Axel twists on the limb! COLE Hoff has GOT to break free here! Hoff pushes himself off the mat, but Axel twists and brings him right back down! Robinson checks for a submissin, but Hoff is up again, and this time he rolls through the hold and sends Axel flying into the ropes!! The crowd cheers the break as Hoff tries to crawl away, but the champion wastes no time in stomping him in the back! Hoff stays on the mat, and Axel immediately grabs the left leg.....hooking Hoff in the AXEL GRINDER!!!! CABOOSE And now this! I love it! COLE Axel hasn't used this hold in ages, but he's pulling out all the stops here tonight!! Robinson checks on Hoff, but the big man shakes him off and crawls toward the ropes! Axel tries to pull him back, but Hoff uses his arms to inch closer to the bottom strand!! COACH This is the big muscles of Hoff doin' their magic, those big old arms, keeping him in this thing! Hoff tries to grab the bottom rope....but Axel stands a bit and pulls him away!! Axel lets out a battle cry as he pulls back on Hoff's leg, and Hoff raises his arm into the air!! CABOOSE THIS IS IT! Axel retains! Robinson dives down to get in position...but Hoff shakes his head and lowers his hand! Using his massive arms, the challenger pulls himself...closer...closer...and grabs the bottom rope! COLE And Hoff gets to the ropes!! The fans cheer as Robinson starts his five count, and the champion breaks at four!! Axel argues with Robinson, buying Hoff a little time to climb to his feet! Axel shoves Robinson aside and grabs Hoff, throwing him into the corner and firing off a HUGE right hand! Hoff's head snaps back from the impact, and Axel meets him with another big blow! Hoff reels, and Axel fires a third right hand, punishing Hoff! Hoff slumps into the corner, and Axel pulls him up, drilling him with a MASSIVE uppercut blow!! COACH Axel unloading on Hoff in there! Axel grabs Hoff and whips him out of the corner, but Hoff's knee gives on him and he collapsesin the center of the ring! Axel laughs, and the fans get on him a bit as he kicks Hoff onto his back! COLE Now come on! CABOOSE Axel has this think won, and he knows it. Axel places a boot on Hoff's chest, and Robinson makes the count! ONE! TWO! THR-NO!! Hoff reaches up and grabs Axel's boot, tripping the champion and sending him down! Hoff climbs to his knees and APPLIES THE ANKLELOCK!!! COLE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THE ANKLELOCK AGAIN!! The fans go NUT as Hoff locks in the hold! Axel, caught by surprise, looks around wide-eyed, finally finding the ropes! He climgs to them as Robinson starts his five count, and Hoff breaks early, waving Axel on! The champion's nostrils flare as he charges at Hoff, but Hoff grabs him and hits a belly-to-belly throw out of NOWHERE!! COLE Hoff showing some signs of life yet! Both men are slow to get up, and it's Axel up first, but Hoff meets him with a kick to the ribs! Hoff grabs him in a front face lock and scores a neckbreaker!! Hoff floats into the cover! ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! Axel throws a shoulder up!! Hoff is slow to rise, and Axel beats him to his feet as he holds his neck. The champion clubs Hoff in the back, then pulls him up the rest of the way and sends him into the strands! Hoff comes flying off the ropes and FLOORS Axel with a diving clothesline! Both men are down....and HOFF KIPS UP!!! The crowd ROARS in approval!! CABOOSE HOW?! Where is he getting this energy? Hoff pumps his fist as he fires up, shaking out his left leg. Axel gets up, and Hoff blasts him with a forearm shot that backs him into the ropes! Hoff sends Axel off the far side, but the champion comes back off with a Harlem sidekick!! Hoff crashes to the mat as Axel looks down in anger! COLE And a big-time move from the OAOAST Champion sends Hoff down, and that may have killed the momentum Hoff was building! CABOOSE Sometimes all it takes is one move to swing the tide of a match! Axel grabs Hoff by the hair, looking down at him, and SLAPS the challenger! The fans jeer as Hoff falls to the mat yet again! COLE Now what is that about? CABOOSE Axel is just letting out his frustration, as well as maybe sending a message to Hoff: "I am better than you." Axel, again swaggering confidently, picks Hoff up by the hair. He hooks the big man in a front face lock and throws Hoff's arm around his neck. Axel lifts Hoff...and drops him in a BRAINBUSTER!!! COACH BRAIN-BUSTAH-OOOOOO DAN-GER-OSOOOOOOOOO!!! COLE And Hoff is in trouble here! Axel sits up, grinning, then finds his feet and looks out over the crowd. The champion smiles as he slashes his arms, signaling for the end!! The fans are none too pleased with the champion as he...heads to the top? COLE Axel going high-risk here! He could be looking for that Frog Splash! CABOOSE Whatever he's doing, it'll be curtains for the pretender to the throne! Axel steadies himself on the top rope, then looks out over the crowd. The champion shouts out to the people... AXEL "Anything he can do, I CAN DO BETTER!" And while the fans jeer, Axel leaps and scores with a BEAUTIFUL elbow!! Hoff convulses, and Axel leaves his arm draped over Hoff while Robinson counts! ONE!! TWO!! THR-NO!! Hoff gets a shoulder up! The fans EXPLODE!! COLE And Axel's gane of one-upsmanship fails! CABOOSE Bugger that, Michael, Axel is this close to winning. All he needs is one more big move to put Hoff away. Axel looks up at Robinson, who shrugs. The champion scowls as he gets to his feet, pulling Hoff up by the hair. Axel flexes his bicep, then grabs Hoff by the arm and yanks him in for the SHORT-ARM...but Hoff ducks and goes behind Axel! GERMAN SUPLEX by Hoff! The bridge!! ONE!! TWO!! NO!!! Axel gets his shoulder off the mat!! Both men come up, and Hoff charges, but Axel floors him with a LARIATOOOOOO!!!!!! COLE Hoff turned INSIDE OUT! DAYUM!! COACH I hear that, playa. The fans actually pop for the high-impact move, and Axel gets to his feet smiling. Axel grans Hoff, pulling him halfway up, then looking out at the crowd again. AXEL "THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE!" Axel grabs Hoff's arm and whips him into the ropes, and catches him with the SPINEBUST--NO!! Hoff drops an elbow on the head of Axel, and Axel sets the challenger back down!! Hoff quickly hooks Axel in a front face lock, lifting him for a vertical suplex...but Axel lands on his feet! From behind, Axel lifts Hoff into a reverse fireman's carry-- COLE OH NO!! The fans SPRING to their feet, buzzing as Axel has Hoff on his shoulders!! Flashbulbs explode acorss the arena as Axel throws Hoff up.....flips him over.....and DRILLS HIM WITH THE AXEL SLAM!!!!!!!!! COLE AXEL SLAM!! AXEL GOT IT ALL!! The fans ROAR as Hoff lies motionless on the mat!! Axel sits up, an elated, almost surprised grin on his face!! CABOOSE COVER HIM, CHAMP!! Axel rolls Hoff onto his back, throwing an arm over Hoff's chest as Robinson makes the count! The fans count along at the top of their lungs! ONE!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!! NO!!! Hoff THROWS a shoulder in the air as Robinson's hand comes down! COLE I can't believe it! Hoff kicked out of the Axel Slam!! CABOOSE No, this can't be happening, this can't be happening! The fans EXPLODE. Axel climbs up to his knees, looking at Robinson with a strained expression on his face. The ref looks sympathetic as he holds two fingers up, simulating popping his shoulder into the air. Axel closes his eyes, looking up at the ceiling as Hoff rolls onto his stomach. COACH Amazing. Simply amazing! Hoff got his shoulder off the mat at the last possible second! I thought Axel had him. COLE After some amazing back-and-forth, this match has been almost all Axel. And yet, even as Axel hit his trademark maneuver, Hoff may have turned the tide. Axel gets to his feet, resting in the corner as Hoff clutches his neck. The champion glares at Hoff, frustrated as he contemplates his next move. CABOOSE TURNED THE TIDE?! Hoff is OUT, Cole! He can barely move! All Axel has to do is hit one more big move and this one is over. COLE But how much resolve does Hoff have, Caboose? How much can he kick out of? He may not be finished yet! Hoff climbs to his hands and knees, crawling to the nearby corner. From the other side of the ring, Axel snarls as he approaches the big man. COLE Axel making his move, looking to put the challenger away! Hoff grabs the bottom ropes as Axel looks down with disdain...and the champion rolls out of the ring! Hoff's head is hanging down, and the big man doesn't see Axel make his move! COACH Wait, what is Axel up to? COLE The World Champ heading to the outside... Axel looks at Hoff from the outside....then grabs the big man by the hair! The fans jeer as Axel pulls Hoff's head under the bottom rope, then rears back and THROWS it into the steel ring post! *CLANG* COLE OH MY!! COACH Axel getting BRUTAL!! The Rosemont crowd gets on the champion, booing as Hoff's temple collides with the steel. The big man slumps forward, his body falling halfway out of the ring. Axel grabs him by his dark locks and drags him the rest of the way out, letting him fall to the floor. Axel lays in a couple hard stomps to the big man's back as the fans jeer. COLE These fans have been back-and-forth all night, but I don't think they're taking kindly to Axel's tactics! CABOOSE Bugger that, Michael. I don't like this move by Axel; I think he was just one move away from retaining his title. COACH I think a lot of it is frustration on the part of the champ, not being able to get the job done with the Axel Slam, well, now he wants to lay in a little extra punishment! Referee Robinson slides out of the ring and tries to reason with Axel, but the vicious champion throws him away, sending him onto his back! The fans boo, but Axel tunes them out, turning back to Hoff and stomping away! COLE Tensions have been running high for months between these two men, former good friends, turned bitter rivals over the OAOAST Title. The richest prize in this industry, and only one man can walk away with it! Axel picks Hoff up by the tights and the hair, and runs him like a battering ram into the ringsteps!! Hoff crashes again into the steel, sprawling end over end as the steps go flying. Axel looks out at the fans, who are really pouring it on. The champion waves them off, stalking over to Hoff as Robinson gets back into the ring and begins his ten-count. COLE Charles Robinson trying to maintain order in the only way he can anymore, by trying to get these men back into the ring! Axel picks Hoff up yet again, holding the groggy challenger up by the hair. COLE Look at Hoff! The big man is practically out on his feet!! The fans boo as Axel rears back and NAILS Hoff with a stiff uppercut! Hoff falls in a heap, and Axel looks down at his prey with a sick grin! CABOOSE Ah, I love this, guys, this is classic Axel. Vintage Axel! The true Dark One, none of this "buddy-buddy" crap. Axel is out for blood. Robinson's count reaches eight, and the World Champ has the presence of mind to roll into the ring, breaking the count. Axel rolls back out and grabs Hoff by the hair, throwing him yet again into the ringpost! Hoff bounces back as the steel clang reverberates through the Horizon. COLE Good lord! Hoff lands on the announce table, slumped over the top. Axel stalks his foe, grabbing him from behind and yanking him up by the hair! Axel rears back, and drives his fist into Hoff's forehead with a sharp knuckle blow!! Hoff grabs his face as his own momentum spins him around, and Axel grabs him from behind, driving his face into the table! COACH The action getting up close and personal! COLE Hoff is lying on our table, and he is in trouble. Axel grabs Hoff, pulling his head up, revealing more than a trickle of blood. Hoff's eyes look glazed over as Axel throws him onto the table, causing Triple C to vacate the sofa! COLE Oh, good lord! Axel has thrown a-- a bloody Hoff onto our table! CABOOSE I don't know what Axel is planning here, but I like it. COLE Hoff has been busted open here, and Axel...Axel is looking to finish the job. Axel once again rolls into the ring, breaking the referee's count, then rolls back to the floor and climbs onto the table. The champion pulls Hoff to his feet, then spins him around, hooking him face-first from behind!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wait a minute!! Axel is-- CABOOSE He's going to hit Hoff with his own damn move! I LOVE IT!! COLE Well these two have been trying to one-up the other for months now, and I'd say this'll do just that! The fans are IRATE, booing Axel out of the building as he smiles a sadistic grin! Axel grabs Hoff by the tights and hoists him, lifting him HIGH into the air!! Axel holds Hoff overhead...but the big man shifts his weight!! Kicking his legs, Hoff manages to flip out of the move and land behind Axel!! COLE Hoff breaking free of the hold! The crowd goes wild as Hoff lands on one knee! Axel turns to face Hoff, and the big man pops up and grabs Axel by the neck....driving him THROUGH the table with a ROCK BOTTOM!!!!!! COACH OH MY GOOD LORD!!! The crowd blows the roof off of the Horizon as Hoff sends Axel through the table! Hoff's blood splatters onto his opponent as the two men land, Hoff rolling onto his back. CABOOSE I can't believe this. COLE Hoff somehow, someway, countered his own Future Shock into the Rock Bottom, and this may be the last opening Hoff will have tonight!! The "HOFF" chants thunder throughout the arena as both men lie on the arena floor. Surprisingly, Axel is the first man to stir, climbing to his knees as the crowd drowns him in a sea of unkind sentiment. CABOOSE And that says it all. How bad does Hoff have to be hurt for Axel to beat him to his feet? COLE He is bruised, and bloody, but not beaten! Not yet! Axel holds his back, walking gingerly as Hoff rolls onto his stomach and pushes himself onto all fours. The blood drips down from Hoff's face to the floor as the challenger tries to get his second wind. Axel stalks toward Hoff, pulling him up by the hair--but Hoff snaps off a HUGE right hand!! The crowd comes ALIVE as Hoff fires off another right hand to Axel's temple! Another! ANOTHER!! COLE And now Hoff is feeling that second wind!! CABOOSE This can't be HAPPENING....! Hoff snaps off one more HUGE right hand, sending the champion reeling! Hoff grabs Axel by the hair and SLAMS his head into the ring apron, sending Axel's skull bouncing back! Hoff grabs the champion by the back of the hair and throwd him back into the ring, rolling in after him and climbing to his feet!! Hoff ROARS to the crowd, waving Axel to his feet!! CABOOSE WHERE is he getting this energy from? COLE It's heart, Caboose, all heart, the heart of a champion!! Axel gets to his feet, turns to face Hoff, and gets met by a HUGE right hand! Hoff backs Axel into the ropes and whips him into the far side! The champion comes off the strands, and Hoff throws a clothesline, but Axel ducks and keeps running! Hoff turns to meet him, and the big man catches Axel with a HUGE powerslam!! Hoff pops to his knees, then falls backwards, rolling over to the ropes and using the cables to pull himself up to his feet!! Hoff waves Axel up as the crowd goes WILD!! COLE This is AMAZING!! Hoff has shifted into high gear from out of NOWHERE!! Axel gets up as the crowd cheers, and Hoff charges at him, flooring him with a BIG clothesline to a monstrous ovation! Axel gets back up, and Hoff charges and sends him right back down! Axel, slowly, gets back to his feet, and Hoff runs him over one more time!! "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" Hoff looks down at Axel...and slashes his arms to an electric pop!! The crowd stays on its feet as Hoff grabs Axel by the hair, pulling him up! Hoff whips Axel into the ropes, and sets for the SPINEBUSTER~! Axel comes off the far side....and puts on the brakes, kicking Hoff in the face!! COACH Whoa!! Hoff snaps up, and Axel takes a step back, then leaps forward with a Harlem sidekick...but Hoff ducks under the move!! Both men pivot to face each other...and Hoff grabs Axel and PLANTS him with a SPINE-BUSTAH!!!!!!!!!! COLE SPINEBUSTER BY THE CHALLENGER!! CABOOSE Oh my God, oh my God, this isn't happening!! COLE And now Hoff is ready to put it all away!!! Hoff, his face washed in red, looks out at the crowd...holding his thumb out to the side! Hoff turns it up....and then turns it DOWN!! The fans go WILD!! COACH FUTURE SHOCK!!! COLE The Future Shock! If Hoff hits this move, we will have a new champion in a matter of moments!! CABOOSE Oh, come on, Axel! For the good of the company, don't let this happen!! Hoff grabs Axel by the hair, pulling the OAOAST Champion to his feet! The big man looks down into Axel's eyes, then grabs him from behind! Hoff grabs Axel by the tights and lifts him into the air, holding him....holding him....HOLDING HIM.... And DROPS him with the FUTURE SHOCK!!!!! COLE HE GOT IT!! HE GOT IT ALL!!! Hoff rolls onto Axel and hooks a leg, and Robinson makes the count!! ONE!!!!!!! TWO!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Axel KICKS OUT!!! Axel KICKS OUT of the Future Shock!! COLE Oh...my...God. COACH He kicked out!! HE KICKED OUT!!!! COLE Axel has kicked out of Hoff's Future Shock. I can't believe it! No one...NO ONE has.... The Rosemont Horizon deflates, the crowd in stunned silence as Axel kicks out. Hoff rolls off of Axel, lying on his stomach, exhausted. Axel lies motionless in the center of the ring. CABOOSE YES!! Oh, thank the moon and the stars. Cole, do you realize what we've just seen? No one has EVER kicked out of that Future Shock...EVER!! Until tonight. COLE I cannot believe it. I thought that Hoff had made good on his word. That he was destined to take the title home... CABOOSE Yeah, well, that ain't happening, loser! And I mean, I've said it before, and I've said it again, I'm no Axel fan, but anything, anything is better than having the title on that blowhard. Robinson foregoes his ten count as both champion and challenger begin to find their bearing, crawling to opposite corners. COLE This is surreal. These guys have kicked out of each other's signature moves, and now it is anyone's game, and we have no idea what to expect. CABOOSE Expect a successful defense by the champion! Hoff is going home empty handed! Hoff and Axel both pull themselves up in their respective corners, and turn to face each other! The two men stare each other down, neither one moving....until suddenly charging forward and meeting in the center of the ring! Right hand by Axel! Right hand by Hoff! BIG right by the champion! HUGE blow landed by Hoff! Axel! Hoff! Axel! Hoff! COLE Neither man is willing to give an inch! We could be here all night! COACH Or we might be seconds away from a finish! Right by Hoff! Another! ANOTHER! AN-NO! Axel drives a knee into Hoff's midsection! Hoff doubles over, and Axel steps behind him and scoops him onto his shoulders!! COLE AXEL SLAM!! Axel stands upright and lets out a primal scream as he throws Hoff into the air for the Axel Slam--and Hoff lands on his feet!! Axel throws a lariat, Hoff ducks, and hooks him from behind!! COLE AND COACH FUTURE SHOCK!! The crowd is beside itself as Hoff hoists Axel up overhead...but Axel flips over and lands on his feet! Hoff turns, and Axel grabs him and scoops him onto his shoulder, setting him in a tombstone position!! COLE GOOD LORD! Axel has Hoff set for Dark Royalty!!!! No one has EVER kicked out of this! CABOOSE Five minutes ago, we could have said the same thing about Hoff's Future Shock!! COLE We are about to see the end!!! Axel sets Hoff on his shoulder.......but Hoff kicks his legs and slides off of Axel's shoulder....landing with his arm around Axel's neck!!!!! COLE LOOK AT THIS!!!! The crowd hits a new level as Hoff grabs Axel, lifting him up....and DRIVING him to the mat with the FUTURE SHOCK!!! COACH HE GOT HIM AGAIN!! COLE The SECOND Future Shock!! Will it be enough!! CABOOSE NO!! Hoff, slowly, painfully, swings his legs free, rolls onto Axel, and hooks the champion's leg!! ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!! THREE!!!!!! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE HE DID IT!! The roar of the crowd drowns out the opening strains of "Black" as Buffer reads the decision. BUFFER The winner of this contest.... CABOOSE No. BUFFER And NEW One and Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD.... "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER HOOOOOOOOOOOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoff rolls off of Axel, and Robinson helps him to his feet. As the fans scream their lungs out, Robinson raises Hoff's arm into the air, and the bloody big man ROARS, pumping his fist in celebration. COLE What an amazing ending. I can barely believe it, but Hoff has done it! CABOOSE I think I'm going to be sick. As Hoff's theme music blares, the cheers swell even louder as Robinson grabs the OAOAST Championship from the timekeeper. Robinson hands it to Hoff -- the same belt ripped from him ten months ago. And once more, tears stream down Hoff's face. COLE And there you see it, folks. Literally, the blood, sweat, and tears of Hoff running onto the gold plate of the World Heavyweight Championship. And to Hoff, and to his many fans, tonight, a wrong has been righted. Hoff presses his forehead to the belt, kissing it, before hoisting it high overhead to a massive ovation. Hoff climbs up the nearest corner, holding the belt into the air as flashbulbs fire off across the arena. COLE And take nothing away from Axel, he was stellar tonight. He was as good as anyone could expect to be, but tonight was Hoff's night. COACH He said it earlier, Cole. It was his destiny. As Hoff celebrates his win, Axel finally regains his footing. Exhausted, Axel stares at Hoff, holding the belt that was Axel's only a moment ago. COLE And what does Axel have to be feeling, after a great run on top, to see this man, his good friend, his bitter rival, holding the championship of the world? CABOOSE I can tell you, fellas....it's not a good feeling. Hoff climbs down from the ropes and turns....finding Axel staring right at him. "Black" cuts out as Axel stares at the bloody title belt on Hoff's shoulder. COLE Oh my, what is gonna happen here. The fans buzz as Hoff looks down at the title...then back at Axel...who extends his hand. Hoff accepts. CABOOSE I don't believe it. The crowd at the Rosemont Horizon explodes as Hoff and Axel shake hands, and Axel goes a step further, raising Hoff's arm into the air. Hoff smiles a tight smile as Axel nods, then lets go of Hoff's hand, making his way out of the ring. "Black" kicks in again as Hoff looks down at his friend and rival with a grin. COLE And the respect between these two men is obvious. Hoff and Axel, the culmination of one hell of a rivalry. One we will never forget. Axel takes one last look at the ring, and the man inside, before stepping behind the curtain. In the ring, Hoff climbs up the corner once more, holding his belt on his shoulder, raising his fist into the air. Show posted by: Some Guy (not SomeGuy)

The opening theme and video take us to a control center at OAOAST Headquarters, where Michael Cole stands. COLE Welcome to a special Saturday night HeldDOWN, everybody. I'm Michael Cole and I am here to address the avalanche of complaints regarding the fact that this week's show was not on it's usual Thursday timeslot. The fact is, a major sattelite snafu caused the show, which went on as scheduled from Portland, Oregon, to not appear on TSM Network. We apologize to each and every OAOAST fan for this problem, and assure you that it will never happen again. Unfortunately, the tape of the show we are about to play for you is incomplete, as it seems that someone taped over our main event, which was Hoff defending his OAOAST World Championship against Tha Puerto Rican with the first Survivor. Hoff won that match, which we hope to have for you soon. For now, please enjoy this week's (slightly tardy) HeldDOWN~! The camera cuts to the back to show HeldDOWN GM Calvin Szechstein, on his cell phone in his office. There is a knock on the door, and Calvin, looking bothered, speaks to his cell. CALVIN Look, August, I'll call you right back, I know we can work something out... yeah, thanks for hanging up on me, asshole. Calvin looks at the door. CALVIN Come in! Thunderkid and Reject enter the commissioner's office to boos from the crowd. CALVIN What can I help you boys with? REJECT Look, Calvin, let's cut right to the chase. Forget what happened at AngleSlam, that was a fluke! I mean, how long had it been since we competed on such a high stage like that? THUNDERKID The bottom line is that we're one of the greatest tag teams in OAOAST history, and we want to know why we weren't included in last week's TLC match? Calvin gets out of his seat and walks around his office. CALVIN And here I was, assuming that one of the requirements for being one of the greatest tag teams in OAOAST history, as you like to call yourselves, was to have held the OAOAST tag team titles at some point, something you two have never achieved. The crowd cheers. THUNDERKID Well, how many shots did we get at those titles in the past? REJECT Besides, you put Zack and Leon in the match! They're not even a real team! CALVIN ...well, they kinda won, didn't they? And, I mean, now they're the OAOAST tag team champions, something that... oh, wait, you boys have never done. The crowd cheers again, and Calvin grins, nodding to the camera. THUNDERKID Well, that's all going to change soon. You see, we've come in here to ask for a shot at the tag team titles at Dirty Deeds, Thunderkid and Reject, challenging Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. The crowd cheers again, the enthusiastic bastards. CALVIN Well, I'll tell you what. Tonight, I'm going to book the two of you in a match against the former tag team champions, the Sk8er Boiz. If you guys impress me out there tonight, you can have your match at the PPV. THUNDERKID Sounds like a deal. REJECT I assure you, Calvin, you won't be disappointed. TK and Reject leave the office. Cole What a way to open SmackDown. Tonight, Reject and ThunderKid look to become contenders for the Tag Team Championship Caboose Dem boys is stepping up! Coach Next thing you know Naz Mistry will return to challenge Hoff Caboose Coach you know that ... Cole Wow, what a night. Commercial break, and then a match! Caboose I'm always getting cut off...

~Otaku II walks out onto the stag, sans music. He does have a microphone, though. Maybe he’ll be like Road Dogg and K-Kwik and sing his own theme…..or maybe not…..~ Otaku: I know that some of you have been wondering where I was the past couple of weeks, I read your emails. Thanks for the concern, guys. I’ll answer you know. I was at home, thinking. I was wondering what I should do, since I was unable to officially beat the Puerto Rican. To be honest, I’m still not entirely certain. I know that I did make him tap out, even if the referee didn’t see him do so, but the fact of the matter is that Latino Suck there still has the 24/7 Championship around his waist. I also know that this fellow, Spanish Fly, seems to want a shot at Mr. Gimmick Infringement too. I have no problem with that. Just understand this, Fly, you get in my way and cost me a match with Puerto Rican, I’ll hunt you down too and I’ll make you tap out in the Sharpshooter too. ~As Otaku finishes this sentence, the crowd lets loose with the boos as Cuban Wall comes out and axehandles Otaku from behind! Otaku goes down, and Cuban Wall drags him by the shirt down to the ring, slamming his head on the stairs before rolling him into the ring. Out of the crowd comes Thomas Rodriguez, the referee of the Lightening Crew, dressed in his officiating gear. He signals for the bell as Wall begins stomping a hole in Otaku.~ Caboose: Otaku may have defeated the Cuban Wall before Angleslam, but with Thomas Rodriguez calling the match, he won’t have chance! Coach: Right on, brotha! Otaku’s best shot is to clock Tommy Boy there and pray a more impartial referee comes out! Cole: Before he worries about Rodriguez, he’s got to face down Cuban Wall again. ~Wall stomps Otaku a few more times before doing a quick LC Salute and running into the ropes.~ Cole: He wants to hit the Lightening Crew Splash already! Is Otaku worn down enough to stay in place, though? ~Apparently, Otaku isn’t, as he rolls out of the way of the Splash. Wall takes a moment to rest before getting up, and Otaku does the same, so they end up getting up at about the same time. Otaku decides to start chopping his foe down as he starts using stiff kicks to the shin and kneecap.~ Cole: Otaku is showing off his martial arts training with these kicks. Coach: Speaking of martial arts, don’t miss the footage from Axel’s first ever Mixed Martial Arts fight coming up later. Caboose: You’re nothing but a shill, are you? Coach: Speak for yourself, Caboose! You’re always going on about how great the Lightening Crew is! Caboose: You’re just jealous that you didn’t jump on the LC bandwagon earlier. They’re going to take over the OAOAST! Cole: Let’s get back to the match, guys. ~Otaku decides he’s worn down Wall enough to try something more, and so he bounces off the ropes and hits Cuban Wall with a big running dropkick, knocking him into the ropes. He stumbles out of them, then does a Flair Flop. Otaku moves in, but Wall was playing possum, and he reaches out and chokes the masked man with one arm as he gets back to his feet, then sets up a choke slam, but Otaku punches Wall in the stomach a few times, forcing him to break his grip. They both stop for a moment, each looking straight into each other’s eyes, trying to psyche each other out. Wall all of a sudden lashes out and boots Otaku right to the face! Wall pulls up Otaku then slams him right back down and attempts a pinfall! Rodriguez counts 12 No!~ Cole: That was an extremely fast count! ~Wall grimaces and looks at Thomas, disappointed, but he pulls up Otaku and puts him on his shoulders for the powerbomb- but Otaku reverses into a hurricaranna! Rodriguez makes the count again …………1! Kick out!~ Cole: That was the slowest count I’ve ever seen! Caboose: Both counts looked right to me, I don’t know what you have your panties in a bunch about. ~Otaku gets off Wall and gets right into Thomas Rodriguez’s face, yelling about the bad counts. Rodriguez argues right back, but Otaku won’t hear any of it. He kicks the crooked ref in the midsection. BUBBLEGUM CRASH! Thomas Rodriguez is out! Another referee starts running down the ramp. Otaku turns back to Cuban Wall and walks right into another choke slam attempt. This time, Wall is successful! He tries a pinfall again, this time with a good ref! 1! 2! No! Otaku kicks out again!~ Cole: Otaku refuses to give up! ~Cuban Wall pulls up Otaku again. He uses a series of big punches and elbows to drive Otaku toward the ropes. When Otaku is right by the ropes, he makes an Irish Whip attempt, but Otaku reverses the whip and rolls with Wall on the rebound into the SHARPSHOOTER! Wall claws the mat, but he feels too much pain in his lower back and legs and taps out!~ Cole: Otaku used his superior scientific wrestling skills to make the big man tap out, but he looks more like he lost a match than someone who won one. ~Otaku clutches at his back and head as he starts to get out of the ring, but Mr. Boricua runs out! Boricua boots Otaku just as he gets out of the ring, knocking him into the apron. He begins stomping on Otaku, and as soon as Wall recovers, he joins in the stomping.~ Cole: Who’s that? ~SPANISH FLY hops the barricade and slides into the ring so he can PLANCHA onto the two big men, taking them both out! Fly mounts the barricade and hits a modified Flyswatter on Wall, then does the same for Boricua. He then helps Otaku to his feet and offers him his hand. Otaku accepts, and they shake before leaving to the sound of “Lala.”~ COLE A wild finish to that match. Speaking of matches, coming up tonight, Hoff defends the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title against Tha Puerto Rican, but in just 10 days time at Dirty Deeds, whoever wins that match will have a very focused opponent to look forward to at Fenway Park. Josh Matthews is backstage with that man right now for some comments. Josh? Cut to the back to J-Math and Peter Knight, X-Title belt resting on his shoulder, standing in front of a HeldDOWN backdrop. J-MATH Thanks Michael. I’m standing here with the OAOAST X-Division champion and number one contender Peter Knight. PK, Hoff has said he was a fighting champion and he is demonstrating that tonight. Your thoughts? KNIGHT You know, I have all the respect in the world for Hoff and his fighting spirit. I said myself when I won the X-Title that a title reign is defined by how you defend it, not by how long you hold it, but I have to question Hoff’s choice of opponent tonight. Why would he willingly defend so prestigious a title against a guy that seemingly has 30 guys hanging around him all the time who are perfectly willing to interfere for him whenever he asks? Hoff better have about eight sets of eyes for this match. J-MATH Still, you will be paying very close attention to this match, won’t you? KNIGHT Oh, of course. I’ve been watching Hoff in action all this week, getting a gameplan together and finding holes in Hoff’s. I’m sure Hoff is doing the same if he is the wrestler he says he is. J-MATH I’m sure you are sick of being asked this, but will your knee be ready for Dirty Deeds? KNIGHT Yes, I am sick of being asked that question. Everyone will find out at Fenway. But I’m not going to just sit on my ass for two weeks until the PPV. Calvin wants me to make sure I’m 100% for the PPV, but I convinced him to let me defend my X-Title next week in a warm-up match, just three days before the biggest match of my life. J-MATH Who will you be facing? KNIGHT You’ll find out next week. Now I’ve gotta get a good seat for the main event.\ J-MATH Interesting comments from a very focused man. Back to you guys at Sofa Central.

*God of Thunder hits and Thunderkid and Reject make their way down the aisle.* COLE And here comes Thunderkid and Reject, looking to impress the boss, Calvin Szechstein, in hopes for a shot at the tag team titles at Dirty Deeds! COACH Calvin's not easily impressed, but I think these two guys definitely have it in them to do it! BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, with a combined weight of 465 pounds...the team of THUNDERRRRRRKID and RRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! COLE But their opponents are former tag team champions sure to make them work for it! *Boulevard of Broken Dreams hits and the Sk8er Boiz come through the curtains on their skateboards.* BUFFER And their opponents, at a combined weight of 345 pounds...they are former World tag team champions...the SK8ER BOIZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! TK and Reject pounce the Boiz as they slide in the ring. COLE Here we go!!! TK whips Marv into the ropes and catches him with a gutwrench, but Marv spins through and takes TK down with a headscissors! Marv quickly gets to his feet and catches TK with a dropkick! Reject sets Mel up for a powerbomb, but Mel hammers at the head. Reject staggers to the ropes, where Mel takes him over with a hurricanrana! The Boiz double team TK, whipping him into the ropes, then sending him through them with a double dropkick! The Boiz run around the ring, playing to the frenzied crowd. COLE Well, I'm sure HeldDOWN GM Calvin Szechstein not yet impressed with the showing thus far of Reject and Thunderkid. COACH Well, it's still early Cole. COLE LOOK OUT! The Boiz hit stereo tope's on TK and Reject outside the ring! Mel hammers TK on the floor while Marv tosses Reject back in the ring. Reject reverses a whip, but gets caught in a crossbody! 1..2..Reject quickly escapes. Marv runs to the ropes and catches Reject with a spinning heel kick! 1..2..kickout! COLE Quick covers by the Boiz, this is good strategy being employed by the former tag champs! Tags are made on both ends, and Mel knocks TK to the mat with a flying forearm! Mel picks up TK for an Irish whip into the corner, but TK reverses. Mel springs to the second rope and catches TK with a bodypress, but TK catches him! Marv comes in and dropkicks them over! 1..2..TK presses Mel off, right onto Reject, who is still in the ring! 1..2..kickout! TK slides out of the ring, leaving Mel and Reject. Merv comes off the top rope, but is caught with a spinning heel kick on his way down! COACH GREAT counter by Reject, and the tide has turned! Mel is reeling, and Reject follows up with a spinning legdrop. Reject then picks up Me and slams him to the mat, then springs up for a split-legged moonsault! Reject covers... 1.. 2... Kickout! COLE A kickout by Hell Mel! COACH You know, TK and Reject brought up a very interesting point with Calvin. Leon and Zack had no previous credentials in tag team wrestling before that TLC match, they were placed solely on their singles credentials! What about TK and Reject? TK held the old OAOAST North American championship, while Reject is a former OAOAST X champion! This is just another case of the old blood holding down the others. COLE Well, the people wanted to see Zack and Leon in that match! COACH Why do the people get to decide who gets top billing? The WWE doesn't let their fans do that! Reject gives Mel a snap suplex and tags in TK. TK plants Mel with a T-bone suplex! 1.. 2.... Kickout again! TK points at the referee as a way of saying "count faster", then picks up Mel. Mel gives TK a few shots to the gut, stunning him, then starts crawling to his corner. TK grabs Mel's leg, and Reject reaches over and tags himself in, delivering a running snap legdrop to the back of Mel's head! COACH Nice teamwork here, I bet Calvin has to be starting to get impressed now! Reject tags TK right back in, and TK sets Mel up on the corner. TK delivers a SUPERPLEX to Mel! 1.. 2.... Mel kicks out! COLE The former champs refusing to quit, refusing to die! COACH Just like the Rolling Stones! COLE TK hits a belly-to-belly on Mel, then goes to the top rope. COACH These guys might be bigger, but they can trade high flying moves with the Boiz, just watch this one! TK comes off the top, catching Mel with a beautiful elbow! 1.... 2....... Kickout!!! COLE And STILL, it's not enough! TK picks up Mel and gives him a stalling fallaway slam! He then goes back to the top, but this time Mel makes it back to his feet, and dropkicks TK's feet out from under him, causing him to straddle himself on the top! Mel then follows him up, and takes him off with a HURRICANRANA! Mel and TK are both down, and crawling to their corners. TK makes a tag to Reject, who runs over and dropkicks Marv off the apron just as Mel is about to make a tag! COLE What a cheap shot be Reject, and now look at this double team! As the referee attempts to restrain Marv, Reject and TK set up THUNDEROUS REJECTION~!!!!!11111 But Mel rakes the eyes of TK, then reverses Reject's belly-to-back suplex into a bulldog! Mel then crawls over, and TAGS MARV~!!! COLE TAG IS MADE~!!! Marv flips in over the top of TK, then hooks his legs around TK's waist, goes up and takes TK down with an armdrag! He then hits Reject and TK with back-to-back dropkicks! He then waits for TK to get to his feet...and hits the AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL~!!!!!11111 1....... 2.................. ...Reject saves with a snap legdrop at the last split second! Mel knocks Reject through the ropes with a spinning heel kick! The Boiz ascend opposite corners as TK slowly staggers to his feet...both Boiz hit TK with missile dropkicks simultaneously! The Marv gets to his feet and signals for the end! COLE He's signaling for Walk the Dog!!! The Boiz set up TK, but Reject rolls in and dropkicks Marv right in his left knee! Marv rolls around the mat clutching his knee as TK blocks Mel and gives him a shot to the gut, then lifts him up...and drops him with the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 TK covers... 1.......... 2...................... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of this match...the team of THUNDERKID and RRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! God of Thunder cues, but cuts out as Reject continues to work on the injured leg of Marv! COLE Come on, guys, you won the damn match, enough is enough! COACH They don't care about the match, Cole, they're trying to impress the boss now! Reject wraps Marv's leg around his own as TK slides a chair into the ring. Reject drags Marv over to the chair, jumps up and DRIVES MARV'S LEG INTO THE CHAIR!!!!! COLE NO!!! COACH YES!!! Oh, how impressed must Calvin be right now? COLE Marv's leg could be broken here! Reject then grabs the chair and drives it into the gut of Mel, then throws him outside the ring. TK is clearing off the announcer's table! COLE What are you DOING??? TK gets onto the table, and Reject rolls Mel on, then gets on himself. TK puts Mel's head between his legs, and Reject helps with the lift, then grabs Mel around the neck, and spins around...CATEGORY SIX THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!!!!! COLE OH MY GOD!!! Look at the carnage left by Reject and Thunderkid! COACH And you got to believe Calvin has to be impressed enough now! TK and Reject will win their first tag team title at Dirty Deeds, I can FEEL it! *Hate Me Now plays as TK and Reject taunt the Portland crowd.*

BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, to my left. Danny Boy and "Scottish" Scott, the E.U.! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The E.U. flash the "peace" sign, drawing more jeers from the American crowd. Danny and Scott taunt the crowd, pinching their noses due to the fans' "smell." COLE As Europeans, I guess Danny Boy and Scottish Scott aren't accustomed to being around people who bathe. COACH On the contrary, M.C. Danny Boy and Scottish Scott aren't accustomed to being around people who are rude. Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein" begins blasting over the loud speakers. The Sooner Bruisers get a nice pop for a team that hasn't been seen in quite sometime. Frankie runs to the ring, slapping his head. Frank stops halfway down the aisle to flex his bicep in front of the camera. He kisses the peak of the bicep, spinning away from the camera afterwards. BUFFER And their opponents. Making their way to the ring, from the state of Oklahoma. Weighing 525 pounds, the SOONER BRUISERS! COLE It's great to see one of the most smashed mouth tag teams in the world today back in the OAOAST. The Sooner Bruisers have spent the past few months competing in Japan, where they were most recently involved in a heated feud with the South Central Militia. As you about to see, the Bruisers made their returned last week to prevent Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express from stealing the HI-YAH International Tag Team Titles from The Love Doctors. COACH The way I see it, it was the NNMX who were robbed. They oughta be the International tag team champions. As any good lawyer would tell you -- and James E.'s got a great set...of lawyers -- possession is nine tenths of the law. Last week's unfortunate events set a new precedent, and that's one of bullying will get you the result of your liking. It's unconstitutional. James E. should take the OAOAST to court in order get the decision overturned back to its original ruling. What's the 9th circuit up to in Cali? Frankie stands on apron, grabbing the top rope, running in place. Frank removes his sunglasses and gently places them on the ring apron. The E.U. try to take the early advantage, attacking Frank from behind. Their strategy very apparent: take out the powerhouse of the team. Danny spins Frank around, trapping him against the ropes. He rocks Frank with stiff European upper cuts, while Scottish Scott gets in blows to the mid-section. They whip Frank to the ropes, locking their hands together. Frank goes under an attempted double clothesline and takes out the E.U. with a diving Soonerline (clothesline)! He scoopes Danny Boy up and fires him across the ring. MILITARY PRESS SLAM! The "Man of Tomorrow" measures up, flexing his right bicep before kissing it and dropping the elbow across the chest for a two count. He picks Danny Boy up by the hair and rams him head-first into the top turnbuckle. Frankie tagged in. "WOOF!" "WOOF!" "WOOF!" The crowd BARKS as Frankie comes in and suplexes Danny out of the corner, BELLY-TO-BELLY-style. ONE... TW-- Scottish Scott breaks up the count. With the look of a small child who's just walked into the room where their parents are fighting, a bewildered Frankie watches as Scott and referee Miles Manchester argue. Frankie finally has enough and brushes the referee aside. Then decks Scott with a hard right hand between the eyes. Frankie grunts as he's drilled from behind with a running knee that sends him crashing sternum-first into the corner. He stumbles out and into a firearm's carry. Danny levels Frankie with a spinning European upper cut. He grabs Frankie's left arm and brings him back to his feet, hammering the arm with single-axehandle smashes. Full armdrag and twist, Danny Boy continuing to pound the arm as he tags Scottish Scott, who climbs to the top. Frankie pulls his arm away and absolutely levels Danny Boy with a Soonerline (clothesline). Danny rolls out of the ring just as Scott jumps off the top, a look of horror on his face as he sees Frankie leap up. Frankie annihilates Scottish Scott with a leaping Soonerline. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" The "Psycho Gremlin" HOWLS. With Scott laid out in the corner, his right hand underneath the bottom rope and his left leg on the ropes, Frankie tags out. Frank scoopes Scott up and shoots him to the ropes. TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! He twirls his finger in the air, signaling for the Frankensteiner, bringing the roaring fans out of their seats. Frank is jumped from behind by Danny Boy. Danny with a barage of knife-edge chops and European upper cuts. He whips Frank to the ropes. Blind tag made. Danny sets up for a back drop, Frank stops his momentum and clubbers Danny across the back with a forearm shot. He places him between his legs, double underhooking the arms. DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB! Frankie once again wipes out Scottish Scott with a nasty Soonerline. Scott lies in a fetal position, grabbing the back of his neck from the whiplash effect. The Man of Tomorrow kicks Danny Boy out of the ring before hoisting Scott on his shoulders, their backs facing Frankie who is perched on the top. TOP ROPE BULLDOG! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" ONE... TWO.... THREE! * DING DING DING * BUFFER Here are your winners... THE SOONER BRUISERS! COACH Before we go up to the ring, let's take a look at some of the action we just saw in our PSP replay. A PSP is superimposed on-screen, which airs the following clips: 1) Frank ducking under a double clothesline and taking out the E.U. with one of his own 2) Frank's military press slam 3) Frankie's belly-to-belly suplex out of the corner 4) Frankie Soonerlining Danny Boy and then Scottish Scott off the top 5) Frank with the double underhook powerbomb 6) Tilt-a-whirl slam 7) Top rope bulldog 8) Sooners celebrating in-ring COACH (Voice-Over) The Sooner Bruisers with an impressive win. Let's send it to M.C. in tha ring. The PSP turns off and fades away. Cut to: Cole and the Bruisers. COLE Thanks, Coach. I'm here with the two men who made their return last week on HeldDOWN~!, Frank and Frankie, the Sooner Bruisers. Guys, it's great to see you back. Another team I know is happy to see you back are The Love Doctors. One team who isn't happy to see you back, however, is the New New Midnight Express. And that's where I'd like to start... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cole and the Bruisers turn their heads to the right. The cameraman shooting on the apron pans over. Jim Cornette, still sporting a neck brace and with his trademark tennis racket, steps inside the ring. CORNETTE Now you wait just a doggone minute. Before the character deflammation begins, as the CEO of Jim Cornette Enterprises there's somethin' I wanna say to you two stupid muscleheads. I don't know if you guys have some kind of death wish, but sticking your nose in J.C.E. business damn sure isn't going to get you off that list. So if you two know what's good for you, and being the fine upstanding businessman that I am, I'll let bygones be bygones and accept an apology. COLE For what? CORNETTE Costing the greatest tag team in the world today the HI-YAH International tag team titles. COLE It was nearly highway robbery! If it weren't for the Sooner Bruisers, the referee wouldn't have known about the illegal tatics your team imployed. CORNETTE Unlike other pro sports, professional wrestling still has the human element. We don't have replay or a Questech-like system that determines whether or not the referee's count the same. Either the referee sees it or he doesn't. COLE And Miles Manchester almost didn't see it. CORNETTE That fossil's so old, that moron thinks glaucoma is a Mexican topping! Now if you'd excuse me, I came here to get an apology. (to the Bruisers) I know you guys are from Oklahoma, so I understand you're a little slow. But I don't have all day. FRANK Me and my brother don't have high regard for punk ass bitches like yourself or the New New Midnight Express, Cornette. "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" Cornette scoffs. Hands on hips, bobbling his head. FRANK You see, everybody has it all wrong. They all think what we did last week helped out the Docs. What we really did is screw you and your two bitches up in the ass! "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" COACH Cornette is hot now. FRANK Anybody who'd rather beat a woman than sleep with one is a moron. Then again, as I look at you, you seem like the type who'd be more attracted to somebody like that frosted-hair bitch Michael Cole. "HAHAHAHAHA!" CORNETTE Heh. Oh...heh...I see that tramp has another knight in shining armor who wants to ride in and defend the honor of the woman he loves. Well lemme tell you something, punk! Things haven't turned out well for those who have gotten involved in the New New Midnight Express' affairs. Punkmaster P -- gone. The Heavenly Rockers -- dead and buried. Holly-Wood -- on her back, and this time not with her legs spread open. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Frank grabs Cornette by the throat, backing him in the ropes. Cole tries to reason with him. FRANK Listen up, you sonofabitch! If there's one thing the Man of Tomorrow can't stand, it's one of his bitches being put out of action. While Holly-Wood could be in my bed screaming my name, she's lying in her bed screaming in pain. And it ain't because she's listening to the Heavenly Rockers' lastest album; it's because of you, Singleton and Blanchard. Now bend over and say "aah" because I'm about to shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be diagnosed with foot and mouth's disease, bitch! CORNETTE (gagging) Why don't you pick on somebody your own size? The Bruisers quickly turn around. Nobody. They turn their attention back to Cornette...and are leveled by the NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Frank eats a sidekick courtesy of the Handsome Hustler, Frankie a running forearm smash to the throat. The Midnights stomp the Bruisers as Cornette barks orders in the background. Miles Manchester tries to break things up, but the only thing that may be broken is his back following a stiff shot from Jim Cornette's tennis racket. Frank whipped to the ropes. The Midnights lift him up in the air and drop him sternum-first on the top rope. Frank bounces off the top and falls back. Cornette hands Simon the racket, and Singleton beats Frankie down with it. Officials sprint out from the back, many of whom either so old or battered that it gives the Midnights a few more extra seconds to beat down the Bruisers. Once order is finally restored, and with the Sooner Bruisers laid out in the ring, Cornette and the Midnights exit the ring proud of what they've done. COLE They have nothing to be proud of. Attacking somebody from behind isn't something to be proud of. CABOOSE After listening to you and Coachman call the match, let me add by own two cents. Simon and Ned didn't attack the Sooner Bruisers from behind. Those brutes were going to assault a man in a neck brace. Then they remembered what Cornette told them, about how teams who interfere in J.C.E. business end up in a bad way. They got cold feet and were about to leave. But they figured, we're two idoits who aren't going anywhere, why not beat up a manager. It was then the Midnights hit them from the front, defending a defenseless man. COLE You stay silent the entire match just to defend that garbage/rubbish, as they say in your country? CABOOSE A picture is worth a thousand words. The tape proofs what I said to be accurate. COACH And our director is telling us it's time for a break. We'll be back after this quick time out. DIRTY DEEDS September 25, 2005 LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! Call your local cable or satellite provider to order now!