Stephen Joseph

Agrees. Cockstrider > FrigidSoul

Best feud idea from this board this year

I had an uncle who bombed Rommel. Some Time magazine guy was in his plane and they did a story. He died after the war landing a prototype bomber after the brass bailed. Fused to the steering wheel. Hell of a way to go.

So are the chances of you winning the lottery, but somebody always wins. Now being the stat weenie that you are I can already hear you typing out "more people play the lottery than await execution" so don't bother... Stat weenie? I prefer Stat Czar, thank you

Firstly, the odds are statistically against sending an innocent to death. Really, they are. There's probably an exception somewhere, but really... Two, lots of major research has been done on the death penalty. The death penalty does have a deterrent effect, proven through statistical study. Go to Jstor, look up death penality in sociological and economic journals, and there you go. I'm too damn lazy to do it myself. Often the effects are muddied when other laws come into play, specifically three strikes, which induces criminals to more violent behavior the third time around. But then again, I only work for the Justice Department. I'm probably lying =P

Tony...Can SJ do a Body Shop with Jesse?

Don't forget, I've got one hell of a big announcement. PRL, pm me back...sent you stuff...I've got the stuff covered next week

If we raised gas taxes, which raises the price consumers pay, they will consume less. Would the increase in price offset the decrease in demand? What if our prices were at European levels with their taxes? Laffer curves do exist. I'm not entirely certain government intervention is the best recourse. The best cure for high prices...is high prices.

It's lack of representation in the WWE They want Iron Sheik to get a run with the title.

So exactly where's the information? There is none, what they're hunching this on is confidential and they plan to keep it this way. It's from intercepted phone calls and emails basically...That's been reported many times And of course its confidential...should we just GIVE AWAY our intelligence resources when we're trying to find these people?

Bullshit. And you know it. This is the best they can do. Hell, at least they're trying.

That's because the NYT is highly political. The media here want ratings and power...not good news coverage. From someone who knows...newspapers have been on the decline since the 1980s. There are much more important news sources today than these shreds of paper. That's why they, you know, keep failing!

Boobie avatar KKK. Remember when the Repubs were criticized Bill for sleeping around...and then good ole Newt slept around too? Pot.Kettle.Black Both suck. Both are problems, and trying to argue about which is worse is utterly pointless. I'm tired of this "US is bad" and then the retort "But the world is bad" Take those responsible, put them in a ditch, shoot. Rinse, repeat, until people get civilized, or we run out of people.

When I pulled it up from PM, there were these chinese characters. I corrected it on a promo, but didn't see the characters in the match. They tended to occur after apostrophes. It probably was the computer I was on.

XKiller or Mr. X?

I really think the blue tone is unique on that belt

That's what I thought too Parka, the chinese character's came up through your PM. I have no clue why it posted like that.

What is it?

Donkey was lacking But I think the movie my theater laughed at the most was when the knights were chasing Shrek and Donkey(then a steed) in the castle and Puss turned around all Iniyo Montoya with the disgustingly cute face. That had people rolling

NOT from a content standpoint, but from a style and presentation standpoint. What did you think of the intro? Did it build on Zack's new character appropriately? Was the foreshadowing from SJ working well? Was a speech appropriate to start off the ppv? What worked, and what could have been improved? What about the organization of the show... Did I get the order of the matches right? Were the transitions good? Did I get everyone for the credits? Should I have made the credits longer? I really want to know what you all thought of the show. My next work is AngleSlam in July, I think, and I want to improve on this show. I personally thought this came off better than AM3 at least from how I did it. Kudos to everyone for having their stuff in on time. Thanks for giving me feedback.

Hi. I need to have the first segment of the HD show. It will explain SJ's actions with PRL. It is very important this starts off the show Thank you.

Tony, I totally appreciate the compliment. I spent a few nights trying to think up something original for the opening. I am PUMPED that several of you are interested in the SJ/PRL storyline. I won't reveal where this is going, but will PRL get a title shot? Will SJ align with anyone else...and more importantly...Is SJ still a Mad Cappa Fan? I hope everyone noticed the nod to Cappa. One day I hope he gets to read what happened while he was away. The matches were of a very high caliber...Honestly, I felt the European Rounds to be my personal favorite match. More will be revealed thursday...Expect something unexpected.

Mad props to Papacita for the awesome graphics. Show posted at 1:20pm, 13 hours after the deadline. I felt the matches were very high quality. I'm glad I got to put together this show.

Credits: OAOAST Inspired By: AngleSault Tony149 PPV Production: Stephen Joseph Tony149 Producers: Zack Malibu Lisa Silverman Mystery Eskimo Writers: Zack Malibu LaParkaYourCar Tony149 Stephen Joseph Hoff NY Untouchable Puerto Rican Lightning Phoenix Fury Legdrop Graphics by: PapaCita

COLE Well, what better way to cap off the night than with a good old fashioned grudge match? CABOOSE You mean a good old fashioned squash, don't you Cole? I mean, you don't expect Crystal to WIN, do you? COACH Yo...holla atcha boy! I do! CABOOSE You don't count, you mental midget. COLE Caboose, as I've learned from Zack Malibu's recent attitude change, anything's possible. Take a look at what happened earlier, as he couldn't even do things fairly tonight. He had to have Hoff attack Crystal right when we went on the air, and even steal the 24/7 Title from her in the process. Now she's not at one hundred percent, but she's also not going to take these attacks lightly. Only one way to find out who's going to be right, and that's to pass it up to Michael Buffer for the introduce tonights main event! The camera cuts to the ring, where the world reknowned announcer stands, holding his ever present microphone. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS is your main event at School's Out:Class Dismissed, and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! As soon as Buffer finishes his sentence, "Set It Off" starts up, and the fans jump to their feet! Smoke spreads across the stage area, and the bright lights of the arena are replaced with pulsing red strobe lights, as CRYSTAL comes charging out of the back, looking as energized as ever! Crystal jogs across the stage, stopping at each end and pointing out to her fans, who show her respect with a huge pop. BUFFER Making her way to the ring now...she is from Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada. She weighs in at one hundred, thirty eight pounds...she is the Female Phenom of the OAOAST...CRRRRRRRRYSSSSSSSSTALLLLLLL! Another loud pop follows Buffer's introduction of Crystal, as she slingshots over the ropes, into the ring and walks to the corner, propping herself up on the ropes and raising her hands, continuing to egg the crowd on. CABOOSE For someone who's about to be taught a life lesson, she's awfully happy. The music fades, and the lights dim again, though this time they cause the arena to be pitch black. Upon the opening guitar chord of Stabbing Westward's "Nothing", golden pyro shoots from both under and above the stage, showering the entrance, as Zack Malibu, accompanied by Candie, walks out. Fans boo the OAOAST World Champion heavily, as he surveys the crowd, scowling at the fans who lack respect for him. He and Candie then begin walking down the ramp slowly, stopping every few moments to glare at the crowd, silently scolding them for their anti-Zack chants. BUFFER Introducing now, the champion. Now hailing from his new home in "The OC", he weighs in at an even two hundred pounds. He is the current reigning and defending OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRLLLLLLD, the leader of The Thrillogy, "The Franchise", ZAAAAAAAACK MALLLLLIBUUUUUUU! Malibu stands on the ramp, unstraps the belt from around his waist and raises it high, showing it off to the fans in the building. Malibu holds the ropes for Candie to enter the ring, and then steps in himself, jogging in place as a warmup as he eyes his rival across the ring. Candie moves forward, pointing and calling out Crystal, but referee Charles Robinson blocks her path, pushing her back. Candie continues to mock Crystal as she's ushered out of the ring, and Malibu leans through the ropes to get a pre-match kiss before the bell is rung. COLE Here we go! Malibu and Crystal circle each other, with Zack smirking at his opponent and Crystal burning a hole through him with her glare. After a few moments of measuring each other up, they collide in mid ring, tying up and jockeying for position, and Malibu quickly shoves Crystal back. Unaffected, she comes right back at him, and they lock up a second time, with Malibu using a quick go behind into a waistlock, and then shoving Crystal forward! COACH He's playin'! CABOOSE No, he's just showing her how much better he is than her. Crystal turns around, daring Zack to fight her and stop treating her as a joke. Malibu comes at her and waves his finger in her face, talking down to her, but she knocks his hand away and then fires off a series of punches, each one hitting their mark, and backing Zack up to the ropes! Crystal quickly takes his arm and sends him to the opposite side, then slides to the mat, laying on her stomach so that Zack hops over her on the rebound. Crystal gets up as Zack rebounds the second time, and catches him with an arm drag, tossing him across the ring! Zack quickly gets to his feet and charges in, but again gets carried over with an arm drag! Quick to his feet again, Malibu comes forward, but gets taken over with a fireman's carry, and as he's getting up from it, gets caught with a dropkick that sends him falling back into the corner, as the crowd roars in approval of Crystal's dominance! Malibu, perturbed by her taking the advantage, sneers at Crystal, while she smirks right back, egging him on. He comes charging out of the corner after her, but gets taken to the mat with a drop toehold by the Female Phenom! She slides across his back, moving out in front of him and grabbing a front facelock, and pulls him up to his feet, but Malibu shoves off, shoving Crystal into the corner, and then follows up with a corner charge, nailing a clothesline as he sandwiches her! Crystal slouches, but Malibu jerks her up by the hair, and props her up in the corner, letting loose with a stiff open hand chop that echoes throughout the arena! Crystal moans in pain, and that's music to Zack's ears, as he lets her have it again, nailing her with a second chop. Crystal hunches over, trying to deflect anymore, so Zack takes her by the arm and whips her across the ring, into the far corner. Crystal crashes against the turnbuckles, and Zack charges in, but this time catches a foot to the fact, stunning him! Malibu staggers, and when he turns back to face Crystal, she props herself up on the second rope, and jumps over his back, pulling him down with a sunset flip, as the crowd cheers wildly! ONE! TWO! NO! Malibu rolls through, backing up into the ropes and coming off with a YAKUZA KICK~! as Crystal is getting up, but she catches the foot! She spins Zack around, and quickly grabs him around the waist, lifting him up and putting him back on the mat with a back suplex! With Zack down, Crystal quickly runs the ropes, jumping over Zack's body on the rebound, and jumping up, springboarding off the ropes with the DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH~!...NO! Malibu rolls under it, and to the floor, causing Crystal to land on her feet, watching as Zack makes his escape. COLE And now, of course, the coward runs. CABOOSE What are you talking about, you twit? He's not a coward, he's just getting some air! Malibu slides out, and is greeted by Candie, who quickly comes to the aid of her man. Malibu stands up straight, and as soon as he does, the first thing he sees is Crystal coming at him, as the Female Phenom launches herself over the top rope with a pescado that wipes out both Zack and Candie! CABOOSE There was no need for that! What did Candie do? COACH I know what she CAN do... CABOOSE You've got class in your ass, Coach. COACH Uh uh. Exit only! The crowd shows their approval with a "Crystal" chant, as she gets up and tosses Malibu back into the ring. As Crystal starts to slide in, however, she's pulled back out by Candie, who's not to happy with what just went down! Candie rips into Crystal, bitching her out as Crystal just looks at Candie, and then DECKS her with a right hand! Candie goes flying, and now Crystal goes to re-enter the ring. She climbs up on the apron, but Zack is right there, dragging her in by the hair and then picking her up for a scoop slam...NO! Crystal slides down Zack's back, and grabs a waistlock, running Zack into the ropes, but Zack grips the top rope and prevents a rollup, causing Crystal to roll through on her own. She gets back up to her feet and charges at Zack, but he sidesteps it, and she bounces off the ropes right into his arms, as Zack catches her and then spins around, drilling her with a spinebuster! CABOOSE I'll bet Hoff taught him that one! Malibu quickly covers, hooking the leg of Crystal, as referee Robinson makes the count... ONE! TWO! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Crystal kicks out! Undaunted, Malibu gets up, dragging Crystal to her feet as well, and locks on a front facelock...then drives his knee into the ribs of Crystal! Malibu holds onto the facelock, doing this several more times, then finally pulls her arm up around his shoulders, and lifts her up for a delayed vertical suplex...then walks forward and drops her across the top rope, hanging her out to dry! Crystal dangles over the rope, until Zack comes and grabs her by the head again, lifting her up, then executing a slingshot suplex, and floating over into a pin! Malibu covers, ordering Robinson to get to counting, and he does...but only gets to two, as Crystal throws her shoulder up! Again, Malibu is quick to remain on the attack, and pulls Crystal up, sending her into the ropes, but as Malibu jumps up with a great looking dropkick, Crystal holds onto the ropes and prevents herself from running into it! Malibu crashes on the mat, and as he's stunned Crystal runs forward, jumping up onto the shoulders of Zack and swinging around, taking him over with a flying headscissors! Malibu is further stunned by that move, and scrambles to his feet over by the ropes, only to have Crystal charging at him! He ducks, and Crystal goes flying over the top rope...but lands on the apron! As Malibu goes to walk away, he's pulled back, slammed head first into the canvas by Crystal, who then slingshots herself back into the ring with a slingshot senton to Malibu! Crystal pops up to her feet, raising her arms up and working the crowd, as she goes back to work on Zack. She picks him up and applies a front facelock, and now turnabout is fair play, as she lifts him up and drops HIM on the top rope! Malibu teeters on the ropes for a moment before shifting to a standing position on the apron, but as the weary Malibu is regaining his composure, he's dropkicked off the apron by Crystal, and goes soaring down into the security railing, nailing his chin! Malibu drops instantly, and the fans rejoice, as Crystal gets up on the second rope and encourages the crowd cheers directed towards her! Crystal then climbs up onto the top rope, and as Zack gets up, she leaps off, soaring through the air and crashing down onto the champion with a flying bodypress, leaving them both laying on the floor! "CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!" The chant goes up, but both competitors are down, as Charles Robinson starts the ten count. Crystal rolls over onto her stomach, and pushes herself up to all fours, while Malibu struggles to his feet, crawling back into the ring under the bottom rope. Zack crawls across the canvas, and reaches up, tugging on Robinson's pants in order to bring himself up to his feet. Robinson tries to pry the champ off him, while on the outside, Crystal recovers, and turns around right into an APRON RUN DIVING CLOTHESLINE FROM CANDIE~! COACH WHOA~! I mean...YO~! CABOOSE Who are you, Joey Lawrence now? The fans boo mercilessly, as Candie gets up, talking trash to Crystal and paying her back for the shot that Crystal got in on her earlier. Candie picks Crystal up and heaves her back into the ring under the bottom rope, and then quickly backs away before Robinson can see. Zack, having allowed Candie to get her licks in, backs away from the ref and turns to Crystal, picking her up off the canvas and holding her in a standing legscissors, then reaching down and pulling her up onto his shoulders...and slamming her down with a powerbomb! Malibu holds on though, and lifts Crystal up again, before slamming her back down! COLE A double powerbomb! This could do it! Malibu keeps her legs cradled as he drops her the second time, and calls for Robinson to make the pin. Lil' Naitch slides in... ONE! TWO!! THR...HAND ON THE ROPES! CRYSTAL GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE! Angered by her ability to escape, Zack drags Crystal away from the ropes, and picks her up again, going for another powerbomb, but when he lifts Crystal, she rolls through, landing in front of Malibu, but before she can execute a followup to the counter, he grabs her around the chest and lifts, dropping her across his knee with a Rock Bottom Backbreaker~! COLE He almost snapped her in two! Malibu wipes the sweat off his brow and flicks it down on the fallen female, who is in obvious pain and favoring her back heavily. Malibu kneels on the canvas, pulling Crystal's head up by the hair in order to get her to look at him, and then he takes his free hand and slaps her across the head, taunting her and running her down! Malibu stands up and pulls Crystal up with him, setting her up for another backbreaker, but this time Crystal elbows out of it, and when Zack backs away, she hooks him around the waist and carries him over with a Northern Lights Suplex...but can't hold onto the bridge due to her back pain! Crystal rolls to her knees, grimacing in pain, but stays on the attack, pulling Zack to his feet and then... SMACK! She hits an open hand chop, stunning Malibu! SMACK! Another one! SMACK! Another one! Malibu nearly falls over as he tries to back away, but Crystal stays on him, grabbing his arm and whipping him to the corner, where he hits hard. Crystal hurries over to the corner and jumps up on the second rope, raising her fist to the crowd before bringing it down across Zack's forehead! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! Malibu grabs Crystal around the legs, however, and turns around, dropping HER in the corner! He then goes up to the second rope, and starts firing off his own punches! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Crystal grabs Zack around the legs though, and walks forward with him, then drops him down across her knee with an inverted atomic drop! Malibu's jaw drops upon impact, and Crystal quickly goes behind him, lifting him by the waist and dropping him over her shoulder with a back suplex! Crystal turns around and goes for the cover... ONE! TWO!! THR...KICKOUT! The fans boo in reaction to the kickout, but Crystal maintains control, pulling the champion up to his feet and whipping him to the ropes...NO! Malibu reverses, sending Crystal into the ropes, but makes the mistake of putting his head down! Crystal rebounds off the ropes, and grabs Zack by the head, jumping up and swinging around with a DDT...NO! Malibu slides his head out of the front facelock, and pushes Crystal off. The Female Phenom lands on her feet...AND THEN GETS TURNED INSIDE OUT BY A LARIAT! Malibu falls forward after hitting the move, and quickly crawls over Crystal, draping himself across her upper body! ONE! TWO!! THRE...KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!! This time the fans roar upon the kickout, as the sentimental favorite continues to fight back despite the odds. Malibu gets up and approaches referee Robinson, patting his hands together three times while talking down to the senior official. CABOOSE That's it Zack, show him how it's done! Malibu shoots Robinson the evil eye before turning back to Crystal, picking her up off the canvas, and lifting her up, seating her on the top rope. Malibu follows, climbing up to the second rope, and then hooks Crystal for a superplex...but Crystal hangs on! COLE Thatta girl, Crystal! Malibu tugs again, but can't carry her over. He steps up onto the top rope, hoping that his height advantage will add to the leverage, but she still grapevines the turnbuckle with her legs and won't budge. As Malibu tries, Crystal pushes Zack's legs back, causing him to lose his balance and tumble from the top rope, landing crotch first ON the top rope! The crowd goes nuts as Malibu's expression is priceless. Malibu sits still, too pained to even move, while Crystal pushes her hair back out of her eyes, stands up on the top rope, and hits a dropkick from the top onto Zack, sending him spilling off the rope and out onto the raised rampway! Malibu rolls around on the ramp in a fetal position, while Crystal rests on all fours in the ring, physically drained. Malibu slowly gets to his feet, almost in sync with Crystal's recovery, but as he turns around Crystal is waiting on him, her hands clutching the top rope as she eagerly awaits him to turn around, then jumps up to the top rope, springboarding...backwards! Malibu turned away as Crystal prepared to soar through the air, but the Female Phenom is one step ahead, as she jumped backwards to fake him out! Malibu swings around, wondering what just happened...and gets caught with a running flip senton, as Crystal propels over the ropes and takes him down! COACH That's what I love about that girl! Well, that, and the obvious features. CABOOSE Like the similar taste you share in clothes? Crystal stands up, as Malibu is the one worst off at this point. He lay still on the ramp, while Robinson begins a ten count on both of the participants. After looking down at Zack in his fallen state, Crystal lifts her head, looking out to the crowd...and starts walking up the ramp! CABOOSE Get back and fight, you coward! COLE This is certainly surprising. Crystal walks up the ramp, with many fans starting to boo, wondering why she's giving up with Malibu so weakened. Crystal stops, and a slight smile comes across her face as she turns around to face Zack and the ring again, then once again looks out to the crowd. With a sudden burst of Adrenaline, Crystal runs forward, jogging down the ramp... CABOOSE What in the... COLE Oh yes...YES... ...she jumps over the body of Zack, landing on the second rope, scaring the hell out of Robinson, who was standing RIGHT THERE... COACH Motherf*cker! ...AND HITS THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH ON THE RAMPWAY! COACH YO~! Malibu's been flattened, and the fans ERUPT, cheering loudly for the challenger, as she's just nailed Zack with her patended finishing manuever! CABOOSE It's all good for the highlight reel, but doesn't this stupid bitch realize pinfalls only count IN the ring? Crystal gets up to all fours, and starts to roll Zack down the ramp, into the ring under the bottom rope. She crawls in after him, and immediately lays across him for the cover. Robinson is right there to make the count... ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Two count only, and many in the building bought that as the end of Zack Malibu's second title reign. Crystal gets up, seeing that Zack is in proper position, and runs to the ropes, coming off and again jumping over Zack's body to the ropes just above him, springing backwards off the middle rope... ...AND COMING DOWN ACROSS ZACK MALIBU'S KNEES! CABOOSE That's what they call "going to the well too often"! Crystal holds her ribs in pain, crying out in agony, as Malibu rolls to his feet. He nearly falls backwards, but catches himself in the corner, leaning on it for support as he sees Crystal getting to her feet. She turns around...and MALIBU HITS SCHOOL'S OUT, KNOCKING HER SILLY! CABOOSE Now THIS is it! Malibu falls onto Crystal's body, not hooking the leg this time, but he may not need to... ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!!!!! KICKOUT~!!!!!!!!!!!! CRYSTAL GETS A SHOULDER UP! ENORMOUS POP~!, as Candie pounds on the apron, shouting at Charles Robinson for not counting fast enough. Malibu crawls off of her and over towards Candie, who shouts words of encouragement towards her significant other. Zack gets up, and lumbers towards Crystal, picking her up off the canvas and quickly setting her up for the POP Drop~!... ...BUT GETS ROLLED UP IN A SMALL PACKAGE BY CRYSTAL! ONE!! TWO!!! THREEE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Malibu kicks her off at the last possible instant, and as both of them are getting to their feet, Malibu seizes the opportunity to strike while Crystal is dazed, kicking forward with another SCHOOL'S OUT~!... ...AND HAS HIS FOOT CAUGHT~! Crystal reaches down, pulling the left leg out from under him....AND TURNS ZACK OVER INTO THE CRYSTALLING~! COLE SHE'S GOT IT HOOKED! CABOOSE NO! Malibu...COME ON!!! The fans are on the edge of their seats, as Crystal leans back, holding Zack's legs up and putting pressure on his lower back. Malibu screams in pain, struggling for the ropes...anything that can get her to break the move. Malibu struggles, and the cameras quickly cut to Candie, who reaches over Michael Buffer and pulls the OAOAST World Title off of the timekeeper's table! COLE What is Candie doing? Candie, holding the belt, slides into the ring and runs at Crystal to knock her head off with the belt...but gets roadblocked by Robinson! Robinson pulls the belt away from Candie, and tells her to leave the ring, causing a heated argument that ends when CRYSTAL SPEARS CANDIE~! COACH YO~! COLE Listen to this crowd! They are on their feet here tonight! Indeed the fans are roaring, as Crystal gets up, standing over her one time friend as she rolls out of the ring! Robinson watches to make sure Candie exits as well, but when both of them turn around, neither expects Zack Malibu to be waiting on them... SCHOOL'S OUT... FOR CHARLES ROBINSON~! Crystal ducked, and the referee got hit with it, sending him falling through the ropes to the floor! COLE Little Naitch is DOWN! CABOOSE Go give him mouth to mouth, Cole. Without hesitation, Crystal spears Zack as he turns to her, and lets loose with a flurry of punches, hitting him with rights and lefts while he's down! Crystal gets up off of Zack and calls him on, watching him try to stand on his own two feet, before jumping up onto his shoulders and snapping him over with a quick huracanrana! Crystal pops right back up, energized by the cheers of the crowd, as she comes at Zack...AND GETS A BELTSHOT BETWEEN THE EYES~! COLE Damn him! Malibu quickly covers, but Robinson hasn't moved since hitting the floor! A few moments later, the crowd rumbles as another referee, this time Earl Hebner himself, darts down the ramp and into the ring. Malibu stays on Crystal, holding her down for the pin, as Earl makes the count! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The roof on the arena is nearly blown off by the cheers from the sold out crowd, as Crystal gets a shoulder up JUST BEFORE Earl's hand hit the canvas! Earl holds two fingers up, showing that it was not a three count, much to the chagrin of Zack Malibu! Zack gets up, shocked, and grabs Earl by the collar, shouting at him and threatening to punch him, but Earl swings Malibu's arms off of him, and then sticks a finger right in his face, telling him to back up or be disqualified! Malibu eases away from the senior official, and turns around, pulling Crystal up off the mat. Crystal is dead weight though, and falls right back to the mat. Zack reaches down for her again, but Crystal quickly grabs Zack's legs, taking him to the mat AND GOING FOR THE CRYSTALLING AGAIN! COLE If she hooks it this time, that's it! New champion! Crystal struggles, but her weakness shows as this time Malibu is able to fight her off and kicks her backwards. Crystal falls onto her back, and Zack rolls over, quickly trying to get to his feet. Crystal gets up as well, and before Malibu can stand up, Crystal runs at him, jumping in the air and drilling a knee into the side of his head! COLE ZACK ATTACK ON ZACK MALIBU! CABOOSE She just stole his move! Zack crumples to the mat, his eyes rolling back into his head as he falls, and Crystal immediately lays across him, pulling his leg up and holding him down for the count! ONE! TWO! THREE!! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! COLE He kicked out! COACH What is it going to take for either one of these two competitors to stay down? Crystal gets up, and drags Zack away from the ropes, setting him up in a neatly placed position parallel with them. Crystal then quickly runs the ropes, jumping over Zack's body, and again looking for the Diamond In The Rough... COLE If she hits this, it's all over! New champion! ...but Zack Malibu rolls over, out of range for Crystal...BUT SHE LANDS ON HER FEET! COACH Yeah, you go girl! CABOOSE 1993 called. They want their catchphrase back. Zack pulls himself up by the ropes, each grip seemingly like an endless struggle to get to his feet. Crystal comes up behind him and tries for a Russian Legsweep, but Malibu shoots an elbow into her cheekbone, knocking her away from him. When she staggers, Malibu shoots down with a double leg takedown...AND GOES FOR HIS OWN VERSION OF THE CRYSTALLING~! CABOOSE HA! Fighting fire with fire! COLE Her back can't handle this! C'mon Crystal, fight it! Malibu rolls the determined challenger over, and cinches back, attempting to bend her in two. Crystal screams in pain, but her small stature allows her to slide out of Zack's grip and quickly slide under the bottom rope to the apron! Crystal gets up, and as Zack approaches her, ducks down and shoulderblocks him in the midsection, keeling him over. Crystal then slingshots in over Zack's back, pulling him down with a sunset flip...But Malibu sits down on Crystal and holds onto the top rope, pinning her shoulders to the canvas! ONE! TWO!! THR...EARL HEBNER GETS UP AND KNOCKS ZACK'S HANDS OFF THE ROPES~! CRYSTAL PULLS HIM INTO A SUNSET FLIP! ONE! TWO!! THREE!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! COLE People with pacemakers should NOT view this match! CABOOSE Listen to this crowd egg that stupid broad on! The sold-out crowd, all on their feet, collectively chant Crystal as both competitors AGAIN get to their feet after another close call. Crystal comes towards Zack, but Malibu quickly wraps one arm around her neck, and puts his other over her head, locking her in a sleeperhold! Crystal squirms, and fires off elbows into his bread basket, stunning Zack enough so that she can break free! Crystal hits the ropes, and comes at Zack just as he's coming for her...AND THEY TAKE EACH OTHER OUT WITH SIMULTANEOUS FLYING BODYPRESSES~! COLE Oh My God! CABOOSE This is insane! Why won't she just give it up! COACH Because she's out to prove buttmonkeys like you wrong! CABOOSE Well, that was certainly an intelligent debate, Coach. Both competitors sell the impact, rolling around on the canvas and favoring their ribs. Malibu crawls across the mat, finding his title belt resting in the corner after the part it played in the match earlier, and he scoops it up, but Hebner catches him red handed! Earl pulls the belt away from him and throws it aside, causing Zack to stare down the diminutive referee! All of a sudden, Zack is pulled back to the canvas, as Crystal uses a desperation schoolboy rollup, hoping to seal the fate of the The Franchise right here and now! ONE!! TWO!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! COLE SO CLOSE! COME ON CRYSTAL! COACH Not like that, Cole...LIKE THIS! CABOOSE Coachman, what the hell are you doing? The cameras cut briefly, but Jonathan Coachman gets up on the announce table, and from Sofa Central, encourages the cheers of the crowd! COACH (and everyone!) CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! The audience follows, as Coach stomps and cheers from on the table, leading the chant for his favorite female. Crystal gets up and sends Zack to the ropes, but he manages to counter, and sends Crystal in...and she's tripped by a recovering Candie, who was just getting up! COLE NO! CABOOSE Oh yes! Crystal turns around and yells at Candie, who is still very groggy from before. Hebner scolds Candie as well, and with his back turned, Malibu swipes up the title belt and runs at the distracted Crystal, nailing her in the back of the head with a beltshot! COLE That sonuvabitch! Crystal falls forward, nearly taking Hebner down, but Malibu catches her, and spins her around... COLE NO, not like this! C'mon Earl! ...He hooks her for the POP Drop~!, but instead of dropping her with a fisherman buster, cradles her and then sits out, using a SITOUT PILEDRIVER variation of his signature move! CABOOSE I think I heard her neck snap, Cole! Malibu covers, and doesn't bother hooking the leg, as Crystal is OUT COLD. ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREEEEEEE!!! *DING DING DING* CABOOSE You can get down now, Coachman. "Nothing" kicks right up, as the fans in the arena shower Zack Malibu with their negative opinion of him, as he rolls out of the ring and falls to one knee on the floor, attempting to regain some composure. BUFFER Here is your winner...and STILL OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion...ZAAAAAAAAAACK MALLLLIBUUUUUUU!!! COLE Crystal could have done it! Malibu had to take the shortcut to get the victory! CABOOSE Tough shit. That's the way the world works. Not everyone is going to fight fairly. Crystal obviously wasn't cut out for this. Crystal, still out cold on the canvas, is checked on by OAOAST staff and medical personnell who have run down to the ring. Several check on Malibu as well, but he shoves past them, choosing to raise his belt high and use his last ounces of energy to gloat, as he and Candie stand on the rampway, posing for the crowd. COLE Fans, this was one hell of a fight, but I'm sure the war is far from over. Zack Malibu put one over on Crystal this time, but karma's a bitch, that's for sure. CABOOSE We'll see about that, Cole. We'll see. COLE That's right, we will. Fans, thank you for joining us tonight, and we hope to see you all again this Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!. For Caboose... CABOOSE I can speak for myself, thank you. COLE Well then say goodbye. CABOOSE Adios. COLE ...and the Coach, who's slightly perturbed at the moment, I'm Michael Cole, saying ...What's THIS? ::Stephen Joseph and Puerto Rican Lightning have appeared on the stage:: Stephen Joseph Zack Malibu?! ::Fans Boo:: Fuck Me? Puerto Rican Lightning Fuck YOU! Puerto Rican Lightning stares intently at Zack Malibu, face heaving back and forth, as Zack stares right back. COLE What a way to end the show! Will Puerto Rican Lightning get a title shot? ::END SHOW::