Retard Girl

legally insane. imagine that.

Shaky camera. Armature, low-quality shaky camera. Dim lighting. The camera settles. Outside, in the evening, the sun setting. Purple. Purple blue pink orange. The sky is like a dark rainbow. Someone walks on screen. Taiga Star. A black hoodie, black cut-offs. Knee pads. Big Black boots. Words. "Sorry for the quality of this, but it seems that all the camera people are busy doing other things. That's okay, I understand. This is GENESIS!" Taiga reaches wide. "The biggest show of the year! And I an honored to be on the card. Even of I have to make my own promo. As the Cruiserweight champion, it is my duty to defend my title LIVE on Pay-Per-View! And my opponent? "SPYKE!! "No, not Spike Jerkins, not the man I won the title from. But SPYKE. With a Y. A man that I know quite well. A man that I have never gotten along with. Not that I get along with a whole lot of people. But Spyke... he's different. Ever since I started way back in the DVS, he's been a problem, the proverbial thorn in my side. "You know how he introduced himself to me? Hmm? He soaked my locker room. In BEER! I hate beer. It almost seems funny now, looking back on it. But then, I was not amused. "We've exchanged wins since. Spyke was the person I pinned to win my very first DVS Undisputed title. Amongst other titles. And I find it oddly... poetic... to be meeting up with him tonight. "Tonight. Another day. Another fed. Another title. Same shit... different day. "The more things change... the more they stay the same. Isn't that right, Spyke? I know you. And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about how easy I am to beat. Even though we both know this is not true. You're thinking about how awesome you are. Awesomely bad, that is. You're thinking how much of a great wrestler you are. Trust me, you are far from the greatest. "You are so cocky. Cocky as in, thinking with your cock. Like most men. Like most women too, come to think about it. "I know I haven't graced you all with a promo for a while. I'm a woman of few words however. It's dumb for me to come out week in and week out and say the same shit over and over and over and over. There's only so many ways to talk about kicking someone's ass. There are only so many ways to explain that I'm a woman with a purpose. "But this is GENESIS! Biggest show of the year. Big show for Spyke. He gets his first title shot..." Taiga gets close to the camera. Her face is seen in more detail than most would be comfortable with. "...Too bad it's against me." Movement. Shaking. Darkness. Black.

aaand i get it in ten minutes before deadline. good god, i have to stop procrastinating. i want to do a promo also. i'm glad there's no deadline on those

i went 700 words without saving when the electricity went out in a two block radius.

...don't drink water to the point of it being toxic though. you can dilute yourself to death. http://drbenkim.com/drink-too-much-water-dangerous.html yes, you can.

maybe he was asking if you had any/knew where to get some?

sushi, sashimi, and cali roll combo.

i can't stop thinking that she has a creepy resemblance to Vickie Guererro...

i'm planning on entering the match in my pickup truck, Steve Austin style

that's funny, when my mother comes over, she bitches about how my shit isn't where she would like it.

fan fiction

I don't have the patience to try and look at the small ass writing. What's the gag? Or is it the swank, THE EDGE decal? bottom edge.

and i still don't understand the Mencia hate. oh well.

i have the same problem, but with shoes and boots. sneakers look dumb on me (but then again, doesn't everything?). i don't have all kinds of cool names to drop though. and if i had more disposable income, i'd have a lot more. boots make me happy.

...hahahahaa.

i just spent a good five minutes trying to figure out what her asshole says...

TSM forums.

i'm planning on making you look like a cocky, womanizing asshole. fair?

how about, fuck you.

omgf old news lame lame ugh loser. ....did i do that right? Kill yourself. NO U FIRST

omgf old news lame lame ugh loser. ....did i do that right?

it would have been plenty funny, if one of you other wankers posted it...