DerangedHermit

My favorites besides the Moises Alou bodily waste ones: April 8th: "Fever Pitch," starring Jimmy Fallon, opens in theaters nationwide, and baseball postpones all games so fans have time to locate Fallon and beat him with hard objects. May 8th: Mariners pitcher Jamie Moyer defies the laws of physics by throwing a 13-mph fastball that somehow reaches the plate. May 14th: Curt Schilling announces he will be starting his own news wire -- CNT, the Curt News Ticker -- so the nation can be informed 24 hours a day about his life and his opinions on everything from baseball and politics to world history and steroids. May 24th: Mark McGwire tells his son that he should not study for his history final because he should think about the future, not the past. August 8th: House of Representative members call Jeremy Giambi, Armando Rios, Marvin Benard and Randy Velarde to appear before Congress to ask them why they suck so bad despite taking steroids. August 19th: Rumors link Padres third baseman Sean Burroughs to steroids when video highlights of his Little League career broadcast during the Little League World Series show his dramatic weight loss since he was a kid. September 1st: The Red Sox attract a sold-out, standing-room-only crowd -- with tens of thousands more shut outside the stadium -- on Hit Ben Affleck With A Stick Night. September 16th: In a new book, Jose Canseco claims that of all the teammates he ever played with, Willie McGee and Walt Weiss on the 1990 A's team took the most steroids. September 20th: Mark McGwire meets with a team of engineers and physicists from M.I.T. and tells them he wants to finance the construction of a time machine that can take him to the future. September 21st: Ken Griffey, Jr. meets with the same group of scientists and tells them he will finance the construction of time machine that will take him to the past, preferably the 1990s. October 2nd: In the final game of the season with a playoff spot on the line, Curt Schilling takes a perfect game into the ninth inning against the Yankees. With two outs and an 0-2 count on the final batter, Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore run out of the stands and tackle the unsuspecting Schilling for a scene they're shooting for "Fever Pitch 2." The hit breaks Schilling's ankle, knocking him out of the game and spurring the Yankees to victory.

April 11th - Saying he has to prepare for his career after baseball, 38-year-old Giants outfielder Moises Alou announces he will be releasing a line of skin care products. August 22nd - Moises Alou's newest skin care product hits stores, a facial rinse described as "pungent and acidic so you know it's working; contains byproducts and minerals the body usually discards but really needs."

http://www.playstationstudios.com/24 Username: preview Password: C3%qt24 [L1]: TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS! [R1]: WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!?!?

Isn't that what break is?

I Heart Gay Sex

I saw him in a few games this spring and almost got him confused with Omar Minaya.

http://cbs.sportsline.com/mlb/story/8316952 SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. -- Barry Bonds said he might miss the rest of this season following his latest knee surgery. "I have a lot of work to do to try to get back, maybe next season, maybe by midseason," he said Tuesday after meeting with San Francisco Giants trainer Stan Conte for 1½ hours. The Giants continue to hope it will be much sooner that the seven-time NL MVP is back on the field. AP NEWS The Associated Press News Service

WORKED, ATH IN THUH PASTHT TENSTHE

I finally got to watch Season 3 (I got S1 for $18 at Costco and S3 for free due to a glitch on foxstore.com, I'll get S2 soon - I've got a $10 off coupon that might knock to ~$25). Ramon was a fucking pimp (and that was an awesome line). And LOL at what a GIS of Habib Marwan turns up: http://images.google.com/images?q=habib+ma...G=Google+Search

"Huh...huh...she's only mad because goth music sucks."

Fixed. Now it makes sense, doesn't it?

does not compute

AL East: Boston Yankees Baltimore Toronto Tampa Bay AL Central: Cleveland Minnesota Chicago Detroit Kansas City AL West: Los Angeles/Anaheim/California/my fucking ass Seattle Oakland Texas NL East: Atlanta Mets Florida Philadelphia Washtréal, QDC NL Central: St. Louis Houston Chicago Milwaukee Cincinatti Pittsburgh NL West: San Diego Los Angeles Arizona San Francisco Colorado AL Playoffs Red Sox vs. Indians Yankees vs. Angels Red Sox vs. Angels NL Playoffs Braves vs. Astros Cardinals vs. Padres Cardinals vs. Braves World Series: Angels vs. Cardinals Your 2005 Champs, the St. Louis Cardinals But I really want to see fearmosaicphilosophy's scenario

This is the first time in about 9 years that Darren Oliver was chased from the mound for reasons other than sucking. You sons of bitches stole the quotes out of my mouth.

Damn, I would've won this contest if this was the 2005 "people who appeared on the March 14th edition of RAW" Pool

Did you have ADD by chance? Bill Nye's actually a scientist (he worked at Boeing before he did TV) while Beakman was played by an actor. I couldn't stand that piece of shit rat on Beakman, either. However, Mr. Wizard is just as cool as Bill Nye and they're much better than Beakman

That's good to know, but unfortunately The Eyes of Nye won't air on many stations. BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

The San Fran Cellar Dwellers?

The IRS is going to be on his ass soon...he may have committed tax evasion (by not declaring money, about $80K, from autograph signings and buying his girlfriend a house in AZ with that $$$)

or talented Or on steroids. That leaves Piazza as the only remaining player from the 2000 WS team. EDIT: The Mets really need to go after Billy Koch. Even if he's shit, he's STILL better the Felix Heredia and other random guys.

Dirty hippie.

Bobby Abreu is shit? You want Derek Jeter to have your manbabies for real?

- Kelso and Jackie from That 70's Show - Dale, Peggy and Luanne from King of the Hill (I always thought Hank Hill was based heavily on Anderson from Beavis and Butthead) - Van Driessen from Beavis and Butthead - Topanga from Boy Meets World (sure she's megahot, but the constant Cory/Topanga draw-muh~! started to piss me off) - Craig and Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle - Lisa and Marge Simpson, Judge Constance Harm from the Simpsons - Lana and *insert current season's boyfriend with a secret here* from Smallville - Sandy Squirrel from Spongebob (best characters from Spongebob are Patrick and Mr. Krabs) - Joey Gladstone and the Tanner kids (the only young person that was OK on FH was Kimmy Gibbler) - many reality show people (especially the guy from Extreme Home Makeover that looks like Ted McGinley if he was a massively super huge flaming faggot) - later season Marcy and Kelly from MWC

I don't know, I liked Bear City, especially with the two human survivors - two kids (with cool names) that were quickly devoured - and then the handicapped bear stuff with the non-handicapped guy sneaking out of the handicapped stall. They fucking need to put a bullet in Weekend Update's head (ie. get rid of Tina Fey). I'd fire everybody but Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Will Forte, Rob Riggle and possibly Fred Armisen. Nice job by David Spade doing a Flair-like carry job (I thought his funniness died with Farley, nice to see he has something left).

Next, they'll say Barry Bonds actually KNEW it was steroids, and not flaxseed oil and pain cream.