DerangedHermit

Ralph Kiner: "All of Rick Aguilera's saves have come in relief appearances." "All the Met wins on the road against Los Angeles this year have come at Dodger Stadium." "It's Father's Day today at Shea, so to all you fathers out there, happy birthday!" "We'd like to give the Reverend Reggie Jackson a warm Shea Stadium welcome!" (referring actually to Jesse, although both Reggie and Jesse are both dicks) "The Mets are winless in the month of Atlanta." Tim McCarver: "Well in New York, if you are gonna take a number, 7 is an excellent choice. A lot of baseball history and home runs goes along with it." Ralph: "Old Eddie Kranepool!"

I'd hit it too. ::cue Bukkake jokes::

I like the military sketch with Ferrell and David Spade when he hosted. Friggin' hilarious when Will prods Spade with his hat.

Yeah. Basically, I drive an extra 10 minutes so I can take a train into Manhattan that doesn't have a transfer. I could just go to the station up the block, but who wants to change in Jamaica? Yeah...really. In the winter, I don't want to get out of the train car. Driving to Ronkonkoma + no change at Jamaica > Driving to Patchogue + change, even though Patchogue is 3 miles away and Ronkonkoma is 11 miles away.

I like these lines from Major League 2: [Rick Vaughn is pitching to Jack Parkman during practice] Jack Parkman: What do you call that garbage? Rick Vaughn: It's my eliminator. I've got another pitch. You get a piece of it, I'll let you name it. [Vaughn pitches and Parman hits the ball out of the park] Jack: I'd, uh, call it the masturbator. Harry Doyle: That looked like the Terminator, only slower. Maybe it was his out-of-stater, or it could have been the Hibernator--that baby is definitely going away for the winter. Whatever for Vaughn, it might be see-ya-later. He's probably gonna become a spectator. [After Hayes calls a shot to left field and flies out to left for the second time] Harry Doyle: You know, he could be pointing at the left fielder. Lou: Come on, you're not going to let her get you down, are you? You guys won last year just to spite her. Maybe, she's what we need. Jake: Oh, Skip, they were a different team last year. Lou: Taylor, it's not your job to make excuses. that's all you guys do good. it's either a leg thing or a spiritual thing, or a psychological thing, or a heart attack. Jake: Who used heart attack? Lou: Me. (collapses from a heart attack) Harry Doyle: Back goes Cerrano. He'll need a rocket up his ass to catch this one. That baby is outta here. Harry Doyle: If that's not Shaquille O'Neal in left, that baby's out of here... Pedro Cerrano: I free and clear. Vaughn: Did he say "free and queer"? Cerrano: Clear! Free of anger and hostility that run Cerrano's life! Harry Doyle: My God! Good news, fans! The Indians are showing signs of life for the first time in weeks! As a matter of fact, they appear to be beating the crap out of each other...It looks like Willie Hayes is trying to hit Rick Vaughn. And why not? Everybody else in the league does. Hayes swings and misses! I don't know, Monty, it looks like Vaughn's carrying his left a little low...this could hurt him in the later rounds.

harsh How about: Showusyourtirts?

Mets: Jeff Torborg and Dallas Green ::shudders:: Art Howe may end up here, if he continues to be so fuckin' laid back. I want Bobby V back. Rangers: Bryan Trottier and Sather

That sounds very awesome.

Major League. "You may run like Hayes, but you hit like shit." "That's all one goddamn hit." "You can't say goddamn on the air." "Don't worry, nobody's listening anyways." Rick Vaughn: What's that shit on your chest? Harris: [wiping his finger across his chest] Crisco, [wiping it across his waist line] Harris: Bardol, [wiping it along his head] Harris: Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeno up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up just [wipes his nose] Harris: wipe my nose. Rick Vaughn: You put snot on the ball? Harris: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too. "Wild Thing! You make my heart sing! You walk everything!" And of course...the quote in my sig.

Here is a trophy. A pizza trophy.

Compared to everybody else, he was stonefaced. And the Harry Potter sketch = one of the best sketches this season "I've got to tame the dragon." "You got a new pet?" "NO."

In dress they lost it a bit towards the end. Rachel just screwed up her lines and that was it. I don't like cracking up but Lindsay Lohan's attempts to stay in character for .00001 seconds and then failing miserably was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It was pretty funny since it wasn't just the usual suspects (seeing Amy crack up was hilarious).

What the hell was up with the Debbie Downer sketch?

Some more: Not exactly true. I'm a Ranger/Met/Jet fan. Yup. For non-LIers, it's "patch-og", "kwog", "hop-pog", "co-payg", "eye-slip", "eye-landeeuh", "massuh-pee-kwuh", "suh-taw-ket" and "ron-kon-kuhmuh" Hell yes. Love my trusty Hagstrom.

We're lazy. LIers don't want to get out of the train car. If you're not coming from the Ronkonkoma line (or a few shorter lines from western Nassau), chances are you'll have to transfer.

Can one of you LIers explain this one? I remember hearing some stand-up comic (maybe Chappelle) cracking about this, so I'm curious I found a better explanation than I could've said. I would rather take the Ronkonkoma LIRR line directly into Penn Station instead of the changing to another train at Jamaica on the other lines (I usually never have to go elsewhere in the city besides Manhattan -- the MSG shows and my sister lives in Manhattan). All the lines besides Pt. Washington converge at Jamaica.

True. There's a particular place near where I live that always has a shitload of geese (the "new" Swezey's/future Briarcliffe College parking lot in Patchogue). My mom came from Brooklyn and my dad's from the Bronx -- however, he's a BoSox fan somehow. My dog Lady (RIP) came from there. Almost true. My family lives in Bellport, my grandma lives in Wyandanch, my grandpa is in a nursing home in East Islip, and I have aunts/uncles in Commack, Smithtown, and Lake Ronkonkoma. Three of my aunts aren't on LI, though. (shakes fist at NY 25 in all its incarnations from the Queensboro to the North Fork, and at Montauk Hwy.) I have a neighbor that's a manager there. Again very true.

Well, he's three hos (or two? I don't know) away. While I miss Dames here, I have to say that Dr. Tom is doing a fine job. He's like that really strict teacher that you still respect, even though you dislike the way he does things.

Bad pictures as in pictures that make him look ugly, or bad pictures as in BAD PICTURES?

This place near my college is some good:

Ranking season 8 so far: 1) Good Times With Weapons 2-tie) The Jeffersons 2-tie) Goobacks ("Back to the pile!") 2-tie) AWESOM-O 5) Passion of the Jew 6) Up the Down Steroid 7) You Got F'd in the A

Can you point me to said spoilers? Thanks.. Kryptonsite.com, click on spoilers

I think he got Henry somewhat over. He definitely did. Remember when Mark Henry beat the shit out of HBK, or when he mentioned his stank to Trish?

Maybe something with Eddie, Rey and RVD. Then when the group splits, good matches galore baby!

Can you ban her for not showing her tits? On second thought, Marney and buffybeast would probably be gone if the mods followed this rule...