Damaramu

My dad borrowed 500 dollars from my uncle one time. To repay him he went to the bank and got 500 bucks worth of gold coins and gave it to him in a large burlap sack. It was kind of funny.

Well I thought his form of protest was funny. I love doing stuff like that to people that are dicks. Like at the movies one time where this guy told me that there card reader was broken and then in the snottiest voice possible he told me that I should use an ATM and get out of line. So I went home and got 7.50 worth of dimes and pennies.

When thinking back on fights that I've been in I realized that I didn't start the majority of them. Now as I've said in the past I'm a big. guy. 6'4" and 250. Well I realized I didn't start these fights but I also realized they were all against guys under 5'11" and like half my weight. What is it with the small dudes? Do they feel they have to prove themselves by taking on a big guy? I mean usually they'll start with me making some minor infraction or them doing something and me saying something to them and next thing I know I have this guy staring up at me shoving me in the chest. Do other big guys have this problem? Sass especially. He must walk around with 5'5" guys hanging off of him trying to take him down.

That's it. If I ever get beat by a dude with a pipe when I come to I'm going to say "He hit me with a foreign object!!!!" or if my friends is fighting I'm going to yell "That dude has a foreign object!" And see how everyone reacts.

Well most "bi" chicks on the internet are dudes. "I'm bi but I want pictures of girls! Girls only! I don't want no cock b/c I have one!"

It's happened to me...not really spitting but I open my mouth and the water comes out of my mouth when I'm drinking. You're drooling?

Bring it on! Kotz....I have no clue how to respond to that so....*nods* IDRM nah I'm not a hillbilly at all. There are no hillbillies in Oklahoma. You have to go a little farther southeast. We're rednecks. I guess I could be a redneck. If a liberal redneck that listens to punk rock and plays video games existed....

Yeah I don't look intimidating at all. I mean I'm always smiling. Everyone knows I'm the jolly big guy.

Wasn't the original Chicago AL franchise called the Whalers? They like let the fans name it.

Well if i hadn't have put it I know someone would've asked "how big are you?" So that just saves trouble. KK Rage I used to have this friend that had like an inferiority complex. Anything you said you could do he had to be able to do better or he felt inferior. He always walked around telling everyone how great he was. He was only like 5'9" and his best accomplishment was that he could bench 250. Well one day this guy was talking about his ACT and it went like this. "Yeah I took the ACT the other day. Got a 30. I'm going to try to do better." *little guys blood is boiling listening to this story* "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART!" "I was just telling everyone....." "Shut up!" "Dude I wasn't brag...." "You think you're so great? Can you bench 250? I DIDN'T THINK SO! I CAN!" And then he literally leaned over the table and flexed in this dudes direction.

Nah what I'm saying is that if a big guy and me have a problem with one another it usually ends in shouting and nothing more. But if a little guy has a problem with me then he'll always take a swing.

Well I am from Oklahoma dipshit. Just a bunch of Texas Jr. Rednecks here.

So then why the big freak out?

I knew that in The Crucible one of the women they had accused of being a witch was Creole.

I'm going to take that as an insult......son bitch.

Yeah, the Mariners acquired Bret Boone and Ichiro Suzuki, and the Rangers managed to pull together a decent bullpen. It's no secret that Rodriguez performs voodoo curses in order to doom his own team's bullpens. Damn straight he does. Latino my ass. The dude's from Haiti or Creole. He's just got lighter skin. Creole is a language, not a place, you dumbshit. Freak out why don't you b/c I'm not up on my voodoo geography. That's the problem with this forum. People's blood boil over stupid shit.

Really? I've gotten Stewart from that pic. And of course there's my old one where everyone said I looked like John Rocker.

Hot damn. *heads off to music store*

Couple of new ones of me. I look like Stewart from Mad TV in this one. Everybody wonders if I play for the Eagles b/c I say "we". Well this is me preparing to replace McNabb in the Super Bowl.

Yeah, the Mariners acquired Bret Boone and Ichiro Suzuki, and the Rangers managed to pull together a decent bullpen. It's no secret that Rodriguez performs voodoo curses in order to doom his own team's bullpens. Damn straight he does. Latino my ass. The dude's from Haiti or Creole. He's just got lighter skin.

I'm telling ya! It's the curse of the A-Rod! I said it last season and I'll say it again this season. I mean it's no wonder why the Mariners and Rangers got better after he left! You'll all remember this when he drops the game winning out in Game 7 of the ALCS.

Quit being so dramatic. You lost one fucking game. It's not like you didn't beat the Sox the past 2 games.

Maybe they should just make them wear Texas jerseys period. I think a Texas jersey would be a punishment for any school in the country. They're like the most hated school in D-1.

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I would also like to see my editors idea put into practice. Take the Rockies, Devil Rays, Royals, Diamondbacks, and another really shitty team and stuff them into a division together. Then have them only play one another so they don't stink but the rest of baseball.