Edwin MacPhisto

Missing Beanie Wells has hurt them a lot, and Terrelle Pryor was unimpressive on his series. Hartline and Robiskie are dropping balls all over the place, too. Just a sloppy performance so far. Getting my first look at Paul Johnson's new offense at Georgia Tech. I've actually been more impressed with BC's running game so far. Also, Raycom finally has HD, and it actually looks surprisingly good. The cameras are set up at weird angles, but I was expecting it to be purple and staticky given their otherwise miserable productions values.

Galloway all day! That's your victory motto right there.

I did one for the first time ever. I guess my team's pretty good. I think I lucked out this first week since my opponent decided to start Amani Toomer instead of Larry Fitzgerald for some unknown, possibly drug-related reason. We also definitely had a girl who just tried to draft all the Redskins.

The M.I.A. sample that lasts the first minute of the song without any rapping over it is mind-numbing.

THURSDAY South Carolina FRIDAY Ball State SATURDAY Boston College BYU Oklahoma Wake Forest Wyoming West Virginia Texas A&M California South Florida Northwestern Minnesota Florida Tiebreak #1: How many total points will be scored in the Cincinnati/Oklahoma game? 61 Tiebreak #2: How many total yards (passing + rushing) will Florida's Tim Tebow have against Miami? 300

Hooee, that's terrible. Dama's gonna buy three jerseys and that's all they'll sell.

Start here or here. Then go read some newspaper stories or something. Seriously, it's not hard. There's really no reason to still be undecided at this point unless you're just too lazy to go and do even the most cursory research on the candidates. I was going to say this but be meaner about it. You can probably figure out who you want to vote for in less than an hour's time. I thought you said the Pit got deleted.

Right after the Ronco infrared rotisserie. Fuck yeah!

What time have the big speeches been starting at the conventions? I want to watch tonight's impending disaster.

Can't think of two more disparate halves than Craft had. Ben Olson and Patrick Cowan limp in solidarity with their newfound hope. Tennessee's totally gonna make it to FG range, though.

Rick Neuheisel to Kevin Craft, while palming his facemask: "Now promise me you won't do that again." What a gentle beauty.

After seeing them in person, I can safely say that pretty much all the players on USC are Terminator-esque football monsters sent from the future. Whew. Virginia will be down from last year's 9 wins, but I was actually kind of pleased with what I saw, despite that whole 45-point loss thing. The new QB, Lalich, will be good this year and has the chance to be special down the road, and the running backs should do fine against the significantly slower and shittier ACC (hahahaha Clemson). Probably 5-7 wins on the year, but I think the offense is going to be really fun to watch. The defense was terrible yesterday, which isn't surprising considering the line and half the DBs were all new starters and Al Groh is possibly the worst coach in the country when it comes to gameplanning for season openers. Also, the Song Girls are not that hot when they're not wearing the longsleeve sweaters. One of my friends went to hotel where USC was staying to see if he might run into anybody. Pete Carroll was in the bar, talked to him for half an hour, picked up his bar tab, and brought Rey Mauluga down to hang out and sign a couple of autographs. I forgive him those 52 brutal points.

What on earth did you pick off youtube that was pulled within an hour of posting?

Arnold.

VP nominations are designed to be pandering, political moves. This makes sense. Yes, but even by that standard, this one is remarkable.

I mean, this is like the most transparent pandering move of all time. "Wait a second...I got it...women like...OTHER WOMEN!" I see this revelation occurring in a fashion like Will Arnett shouting "DOUBLE TROUBLE!" in the Human Giant Will Arnett sex tape skit.

lollerskates. I'm not sure picking a pro-life former beauty queen is the way to appeal to the broad spectrum of America's womenfolk, but it's pretty funny.

I like the choice of horrible country music to play to white dudes who drive F150s. I was rooting for "Bring da Ruckus" myself.

Agree on them being better than 2006's, at least in principle; I actually like the idea of the 40-second play clock because it eliminates the inconsistency of determining when exactly the ball's spotted ready for play. The out of bounds rule is just dumb, though.

First day of the season and I already hate the new "game clock runs after out of bounds" rule. Incredibly lame. 25 seconds just went off the clock after a catch and run out of bounds in the South Carolina/NC State game. I don't know how we're not going to lose even more plays than we did with the failed rules from the 2006 season. ESPN also appears to be forgoing the starting line-ups in favor of just running positions and names in a bar across the top of the screen. Retarded.

I was all excited to pick Fresno State over Rutgers and it's not on the list. Drat! Here are my incredibly boring picks, which I'm pretty sure consists entirely of favorites. THURSDAY Miami of Ohio South Carolina Oregon State SATURDAY Virginia Tech Northwestern Wyoming Michigan Oklahoma State TCU Minnesota Mississippi Clemson California Missouri Tiebreak #1: How many total points will be scored in the Illinois/Missouri game? 62 Tiebreak #2: How many rushing yards will Clemson's James Davis have against Alabama? 88

Well, balls. Michigan State or Indiana vs. Some Team it is, all season long!

Absolutely. I expect to come back sunburned, slightly demoralized, and hung over. At least getting your asses ventilated by USC in the season opener is a lot better than getting similarly hole-punched by Wyoming. My seats are pretty close to the USC bench, so I should have some solid song girl observation angles as well. I'm wondering if the "reverse mirror" thing that's supposed to get a bit more play this year will help out on that. Probably not, though. I bet it just means we east-coasters will sometimes get the ACC *and* Big Ten 3:30 games.

I thought about getting Gameplan this year, but I'll probably be at games for 5-6 weekends. Not sure it's worth it, considering that.

That's right, baby. Raycom, all its guys named Mike, and Doc "drunken metaphor" Walker are now exclusive properties of the ACC! Sigh. I'm not too thrilled about this, as much as I like watching the SEC on CBS games every week. The Pac-10 and Big XII are already barely visible on either the CBS or ABC/ESPN families, and I doubt this will help that much. Apparently one of the provisions of the $2 billion ESPN deal is that ESPN-U gets added to Comcast's cable package in a pile of places with SEC fanbases. This is good because I'm all for more college football (and UVA is on ESPN-U fairly regularly), but bad in that I half-expect two-thirds of ESPN/2/ABC games to be SEC while the Big Ten, East, and ACC get shunted to U. According to the AJC report on this, all SEC conference games will be aired. Last year, 9 weren't, and at least 13 had to have been the weekly Raycom games. That's 22 fewer slots for everybody else on the big boys, though the expected expansion of ESPN-U will be picking up a decent chunk of those.