Mystery Eskimo

They'd have to go with Joe/Daniels. Make it a pinfalls count anywhere match or something.

black smoke = nano tech? That was always my assumption, although I have read far too many sci-fi books with that kind of thing.

I think parodying Family Guy was pretty dull and pointless. It's a stupid show that hits some funny moments once in a while, its hardly meant to be great art. I'm assuming referenceing Simpsons, MotU, Ice Age and King of the Hill was an intentional irony. The ending Al Qaeda cartoon was the only bit of the episode that got a proper laugh from me...the rest was ok.

Weird dating system...that we have all over Europe...and is much more logical than month, day, year. Wow, Love Docs have held the HIYAH tag titles for some time.

COLE Next up, a match requested by HIYAH officials looking to test one of their newest stars, Ultimo Tiger, against a veteran OAOAST superstar. This man signed the contract. Cue: "Quiet" As the grinding grunge chords fill the arena, the crowd yells its approval (respectfully). BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is a special OAOAST vs HIYAH challenge match! Introducing first, from London, England, weighing 235lbs - the Ice Heart, Daaaaaaaaaaaaan BLACK! The Englishman strolls down to the ring, looking relaxed, for a change. He wears new blue trunks, quite a departure from his usual black, white or grey. COLE Dan Black, fresh of a great victory for Black T at Anglemania - COACH A victory which the man known as Hoff rendered meaningless when he embarrased Black on last weeks show. COLE Speaking of that incident, our roving reporter Mean Gene Okerlund managed a word with Dan earlier tonight... We cut to a split screen, showing Black rolling into the ring on the right and on the left his arrival earlier tonight, walking into the arena with Mean Gene trotting at his elbow. GENE Dan, you have a big match tonight, but not only that, H- Dan stops and glares at Gene, cutting him off with just his look. BLACK I don't want to listen to you talking about that idiot. GENE But- BLACK You said H. No more H's from you. GENE *in ridiculous cockney accent* I 'ave to ask the questions, can't 'elp it, its me job guvnor! BLACK You're a bloody idiot. Look, I'm here to show Japan the superiority of English - and yes, even American - wrestling know how. Hoff will be dealt with at the appropriate time. Good evening. We return to full screen, as Ultimo Tiger has now entered the ring. He wears green trunks and golden mask. CABOOSE Ultimo Tiger is the smaller man, around 5'8, 200lbs, but he's very quick on his feet, very athletic. Black can't underestimate him. Veteran referee Clem Buzzlefoxer, 82, tears his attention away from the geisha girls at ringside to check both men over for international objects, before getting the match underway. *DING DING* Black and Tiger lock up, with Dan quickly twisting it round into a half nelson on his opponent. Tiger twists sharply to the left and right, loosening Black's grip before spinning out and grabbing an arm bar. Black executes a forward roll onto his back, and uses his boot to break Tiger's grip and come up, grabbing the arm into a top wristlock. Ultimo doesn't hesitate however, and before Black can settles grabs at his arm and reverses to his own wristlock! Tiger torques the arm, bending Dan double. Tiger throws the point of his elbow into the exposed arm. Black spins around to face Tiger head on and backs him into the ropes - and then stings the masked man with a headbutt! Dan grabs Tiger into a front facelock and drops him stomach first onto the top rope! As Tiger hangs, winded, Black runs the ropes and just boots Ultimo in the side of the head with a Yakuza kick! Dan picks Tiger up and nearly decapitates him with a vicious European uppercut! Three skin slicing chops follow, before whipping him into the far corner. Dan goes charging after Tiger and hits him with a running European uppercut! Black grabs a hold of Tiger - exploder suplex out of the corner, dropping Ultimo right on the back of his head! COLE Dan Black really taking it to this youngster, showing no mercy whatsoever! Tiger went to meet Black's usual slow, technical start, and Black just broke out and began to MURDER HIM! COACH Gee, you don't think Black is feeling embarassed by a certain someone and wants to take it out on a rookie? CABOOSE It's a message, whether Black wants to admit he's thinking about Hoff or not. Dan scrapes Tiger up and hits another European uppercut. Black bends and hurls Tiger to the ropes with an Irish whip. As Ultimo rebounds, Black catches him with a knee to the gut followed by a snap suplex. Black does not deign to cover. He rolls to his feet with Tiger's mask in his hand for leverage and then whips Tiger into a corner. Dan rushes in but Tiger ducks aside and Black's leaping forearm connects with nothing but air. As Dan turns Tiger brings him over with a deep Japanese arm drag, following that with a dropkick as Black comes back up. Tiger grabs a hold of Black and whips him to the ropes, hitting a side headlock take over on the rebound. After only a few seconds Dan powers up and at the 2nd attempt pushes Ultimo to the ropes - but instead of rebounding Tiger grabs the top cable and vaults over onto the apron! He jumps up onto the rope and springboards in at Black - who nails him in mid air with a vicious lariat! Tiger goes 360! Black covers! ONE! TWO! THR- kick out! Black brings Tiger back to his feet quickly and hammers him with a flurry of forearms, then goes for a roaring forearm which Ultimo ducks! Black spins back to his opponent, who aims a superkick at his head - but Black blocks it, grabbing the leg and applying an Ankle Lock! COACH Ohhhh now try and tell me he's not thinking of Big Daddy H! COLE Dan was made to suffer last week at the hands of this move! Tiger tries to drag himself to the ropes, but Black has a look of cold steel on his face, his muscles taught and locked and Ultimo is going nowhere! The crowd suddenly erupts in an unusually un-Japanese chorus of BOOOOS as Hoff himself pushes his way out of the crowd! Black doesn't see him until its too late, and Hoff has nailed him in the back with a clubbing blow! *DING DING DING* Old Clem calls for the bell, but for the second week running Hoff has caught Black out and is administering a beating! Hoff tries to grab Black's ankle, but Dan quickly kicks him off and is up to his feet! The two men exchange closed fists in the middle of the ring, Hoff using his power to gain the upperhand, before Black manages to duck one of his huge haymakers and land a flurry of hard, vicious chops that have Hoff wincing! Dan goes for KICK WHAM BLACKOUT - but Hoff pushes him off and then slides out of the ring, breathing hard and with a momentary look of shock on his face! Black grabs the house mic. BLACK Couldn't stand to see a proper wrestler performing a hold how it should be done? I saw you talking earlier, Mr Hoff, saying that this was over. In coming down to this ring and interupting a perflectly good squashing - er, athletic contest, you've proved yourself not only a coward but a liar too. Hoff just smirks. BLACK So, you say you're done with me, you're actions speak otherwise. Maybe you're confused. I'll make it nice and easy for you. Dan Black vs Hoff, at Living Angleously. The contract will be with your people by midnight. Don't let me down, son. Black drops the mic and just stares at Hoff, who gazes back calmly. Eventually he gives a very small nod, and backs away into the crowd once more. "Quiet" hits as Black shakes hands with a limping Ultimo Tiger and then briefly acknowledges the crowd before heading up the aisle. COLE Well, Hoff has been playing mindgames with Black it seems - and if what he wanted was a challenge, hes got it! A huge first time ever match for Living Angelously! COACH What does Black think he's doing? Hoff is a two time World Champion. Black has never been World Champ, never even a serious contender. CABOOSE That's true enough. But if you think that's down to a lack of talent, you're even stupider than I thought. And that's a pretty mind blowing concept. COLE Fans, I'm Michael Cole! And I'll still be Michael Cole during this next segment!

No. He'd probably behave even worse in TNA.

Have to disagree on a couple of points there. Burchill can easily overcome this gimmick. In fact, I prefer him having this gimmick to just being Regal's lackey. At least he can try and show a bit of personality in this role and get noticed by the fans. Finlay could be pushed into an higher role on the card. He's been away long enough to be fresh in the eyes of the casual fan, and he has that very important thing - credibility.

A special England vs Japan match: Dan Black vs. Ultimo Tiger

Nearly all of the bugs in 2006 have been fixed in the patches, I've found, although I've not enjoyed 2006 as much as 2005 for some reason I cant put my finger on.

I've been so bad at doing anything of late, the least I can do is feedback... Good to see "The Show before the Show" returning, especially MISTER WARRIOR. Nice to have different announcers and everything flowed well, which is always good in battle royals which can get a bit confused and messy sometimes. Fantastic graphics, of course. NNMX/Heavenly Rockers has been such a lengthy and well built feud, this was one of the matches I was most looking forward to, and it didnt disappoint. A great, wild brawl with plenty of "ouch" offense, especially the pile driver onto the rail to finish. Very sick. Could NNMX's demise lead to a singles push for the Handsome Hustler? I for one would like to see that. I am a mark for CoD and Patty's writing style (I bet no one else used "begets" or "feral tenacity"), so it was good to see them on the show. Some v funny stuff and entertaining sequences. Woo, KISS! I remember when I had Hell's Hitmen beat them up, so I'm surprised they agreed to come back. TK/Reject was a good straightforward match to follow the CoD stuff, and although I didn't like the ending too much the match itself was solid. More laters...

I am there! I missed out on the Coventry supershows as I couldn't convince any of my friends to go, but I'll risk friendless stigma to see ROH

I found the Da Vinci Code quite funny, especially the albino assasin guy. Hilarious.

Is Test being signed just so TNA can't use him? I can't think of any other reason.

On Burchill's C4, all it requires from the person taking the move is a simple front flip. It may look spectacular but its just two guys doing synchronised flips.

He's not great, but how many wrestlers are anymore? WWE is hardly packed with guys who can cut money making promos. Same for North American wrestling as a whole, really.

Azrael has never done anything for me, I'm glad he's been phased out of ROH. Lack of muscle on Indie guys never normally bothers me, but his look is terrible, IMO.

Chris Hero. Not that he's universally liked, but I don't really see why he's liked at all.

I like that Michael's been missing for some time now, and no one really cares.

Its no loss to ROH. He's solid enough in the ring but nothing extraordinary and his promos are terrible. It opens a roster spot for someone to try and step up to.

I think Locke is just playing along with Gale's mind games. He knows that Gale can hear everything from his cell. It'd be rather out of character for him to fall so easily into the trap, no matter how much he may resent Jack.

WJM is hot, IIRC, but absentee, no?

Christ, he's crossed the Atlantic? Any chance you guys could detain him in guantanamo bay or something?

Warrior vs Goldberg? I would actually love to see that, if only for the moment when both men just stood stock still in the centre of the ring, no selling each others eye ball beams of intense ring presence.

So its the fans fault that WWE is so bad? Awesome logic.

Bye bye Megson. Probably for the best, although who on earth would want the job now...