Mystery Eskimo

Good work Burton!

There's a reason why Sting has been a face all his career. TNA shouldn't try and change that now.

Oops. Edit time...thanks for the heads up!

Cue: "Calling Dr Love" The white coated figures of Dr Max Anderson and Dr Steven Pigley jump out on to the stage, grooving to the sounds of Kiss as the HeldDown crowd gives them a warm welcome back. *DING DING* BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall! Approaching the ring, from Chicago, Illinois, total combined weight 465lbs, they are the Surgeons of Soul, the HIYAH International Tag Team Champions of the World - the LURRRRRRRVE DOC-TORS! Max and Steve stop dancing and sprint down to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope and then stripping off their coats to reveal matching red tights and their HIYAH title belts. BUFFER Their opponents, already in the ring, at a total combined weight of 540lbs - Alexander Del Ray and BIFF! Del Ray, a handsome 200lb cruiser of Italian descent, holds his chin up arrogantly, while the 340lbs of mixed muscle and fat that is BIFF jumps up and down with excitement. COLE Well, here we go with the return of the Docs, back to warm up for their Anderson Cup match against Team Heyross. They've been working extensively in Japan, both defending those HIYAH titles on what has become a very long and successful reign, and also working with Japanese doctors on various exciting projects. CABOOSE Such as? COLE Penis enlargement. They actually used the Doc's own DNA to base the treatment on. I have brochures! CABOOSE Don't be fooled, Mikey. They put bananas in those tights. COLE Full of fruity goodness. COACH If you've quite finished? It's good to have the Docs back, if only so we can all see what a tag team should never, ever look like. Look at the long hair and the pretty boy good looks! It's pathetic! COLE Just for that, no penis brochure for you. It's going to be Dr Max and Alexander Del Ray to start this non-title match. Veteran official Clem Buzzlefoxer beckons them to get it on...and then falls flat on his back, clutching his chest! COLE Oh my God! Referee Buzzlefoxer is in trouble! CABOOSE He is 92, you know. Dr Max springs into action, loosening Clem's zebra shirt and checking his pulse. Nobly, Max begins mouth to mouth, while Dr Pigley vaults in to administer some CPR. COACH Ew...Anderson is kissing a man. An old man. That's disgusting. COLE He's saving his life! COACH Hey, the Coach does that every single day. Just his presence on this Earth stops millions from killing themselves in anguish over their hopeless, Coach-less lives. Del Ray looks as disgusted as Coach sounds, and turns his back on proceedings. BIFF is chewing the top rope with a thoughtful look on his bowling ball head. The crowd gets behind Clem: "PLEASE DON'T DIE! PLEASE DON'T DIE!" "LET'S GO HEART! LET'S GO HEART!" But there's no response from the fallen referee. Max and Steve look at each other. There's clearly only one thing left to try. The Docs leap to their feet. Max Anderson yells at a ringside official...and their theme music comes back! The Docs bust out the dance moves, twisting and bending and whipping the female portion of the audience into a frenzy. COACH What the hell is this? I heard of dancing on someone's grave (I'm gonna tap dance you good, Cole) but this is ridiculous! The Docs finally stop, hold up a open hand each, and plunge their palms onto Clem's chest! He convulses, shakes - and sits up! COLE Wow! The Docs harnessed the power of their sex appeal as a defibrillator to restart Clem's heart! COACH That's the most stupid thing I ever heard. Nevertheless, Clem is getting to his feet. He's ok! "I'm ok!" Clem proclaims in his gravely voice, "Let's get it on!" Del Ray and BIFF jump the Docs from behind, knocking them to the mat and stomping a mud hole. COLE I wonder if Clem had a near death experience? CABOOSE It feels like I'm having one right now... Clem has recovered enough to get BIFF out of the ring. Del Ray brings Max up and rocks him with a hard forearm as Pigley rolls out. Del Ray with the whip to the ropes and a dropkick to the jaw of Dr Anderson as he bounces back. Del Ray poses, arms outstretched, to the displeasure of the crowd. Del Ray brings Anderson up and whips him to the ropes once more, ducking down for a back drop, but Max rolls over his back and lands behind him. Dr Anderson with a hard kick to the back of Del Ray, and then spins him around, grabs his head - Anaesthetiser !(X factor) Anderson tags Dr Steve, who climbs to the top rope. As Del Ray picks himself up, Pigley leaps off, clamping his legs around Del Ray's head and spinning him around with a hurricanrana! Del Ray staggers to his feet and charges wildly at Pigley, who greets him with a Japanese arm drag. Pigley grabs Del Ray by the neck, but Del Ray pulls him down throat first onto the middle rope, and tags his partner. COLE The Love Docs fighting back strong after being jumped to start. COACH But look, here's a real wrestler. Big, ugly, and mean. BIFF is in the ring, and picks Pigley up - body slam. Again - body slam. BIFF runs the ropes - big fat splash! ONE! TWO! Kick out! BIFF with a third body slam, and then a falling head BUTT. The big man brings Pigley up and lifts him into a Gorilla press! But Dr Max dashes in and dropkicks BIFF in the chest. Pigley drops onto his shoulders, and BIFF staggers into a corner, enabling Pigley to get his feet onto the ropes - tornado DDT! Standing Star Press from Pigley! ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Del Ray breaks it up! Max comes back and catches Del Ray with a trio of chops, followed by hoisting him up onto his shoulders. Pigley steps to the apron, and then vaults onto the middle of the top rope, leaping up and grabbing Del Ray's head, before driving it down in the mat as Anderson drops back! COLE Springboard Doomsday Ace Crusher! COACH That's a dangerous move. Didn't these guys take the Hippocratic oath? COLE No, YOU'RE a hippocrat! Anderson kicks Del Ray out of the ring as the Docs turn back to BIFF. Referee Clem is a little lenient on the five second rule here, but he does owe the Docs his life, however much of it is left, at least. BIFF staggers up only to eat a double super kick to the jaw! He flops back to the mat like a beached whale, as Anderson heads up top to hit Shock Therapy! (450 Splash) Pigley with the cover: ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* Cue: "Calling Dr Love" The Docs celebrate in their usual grooving manner, even inviting Clem to join them in a few careful moves. COLE A good win for the Love Doctors going into the Anderson Cup. They're not one of the favourites, it has to be said, but I think they have an outside shot. COACH No way. The Anderson Cup has some of the best tag teams in the world. Beating unknown Japanese teams and jobbers like these is no way to prepare for it. The Docs are still celebrating when the members of Team Heyross themselves hit the ring! Benjamin and Moss attack with vicious intent; Moss grabbing Max and actually hurling him out over the top to the floor with a belly to belly throw! Quentin has one of the HIYAH title belts and gives Dr Pigley the Orange Crush onto the metal plate! The Bruisers get in a few more kicks and punches before departing, looking pleased with themselves. COLE A heinous assault from Team Heyross! They've just struck an early blow before their Anderson Cup match, roughing up the Docs. COACH Great tactics. Not only deliver some physical injury, but make your opponents scared of you. CABOOSE Jonny, no ones been scared of you in your life. Apart from Crystal, during your catchphrase period. COACH I can't believe I had to say that crap... COLE I have a feeling that Team Heyross may have just done something they'll regret! Either way, its going to be a huge match!

Well, I'm still not convinced that having a lot of mods is a problem, and I'd like to keep mine. But if its something that the majority thinks is necessary, I won't complain...much...

The Anderson Cup is shaping up really well. I liked the explanation of the seedings, and this was a nice build by just two guys talking. Simple and effective. It's funny how Caboose changes personality when calling PRL matches. He busts out the capitals a lot more. But anyway, decent enough stuff here, although PRL has gone around with these characters so many times now it kinda washes over me. A new feud, or entirely new main character, might help. I liked Coach's orating. And I do like COD matches, something different to break up the normal flow of things is great. Kill Whitey...heh. Plus lesbian kiss and ROH reference equals me entertained. The equals button on my keyboard doesnt work. So no more equations in this feed. Sorry. 1989 rules? I was 10 in 1989. I bet some of you kids were born then, or something. Go on, get off my lawn. Cool womens match, lots of innovative moves here. The 6 way should be great. Lethal Rumble was really great. Lots of cool spots and sequences. Certainly a sudden ending..maybe Dan and Simon landed on the power switch...or something...

More community and more feedback, which I'm certainly guilty of neglecting, are certainly areas to be improved. I don't think having lots of mods and the GCF are a problem...if you don't want your stuff spoiled, communicate and submit segments by PM. But I like having the GCF to talk out angles and stuff, and I'd sulk if you took mine away. So there. The concerns about the Civil War lacking a coherent plan are valid. It's just a shame this is the first time I've read them properly expressed in all the months its been happening.

I just read Regal's book, in which he said that Fit's injury resulted in loss of use of one of his legs from the knee down, so I'm not sure how he's going to be able to work properly but kudos for his passion in trying. They should certainly do all they can to educate Birchall and push him as a legit threat.

Making money and loved by millions? Sweet.

True. I just don't think that's what MC was going for...but I could be wrong... Anyway, I just spent five minutes doublestomping Orlando Jordan repeatedly...then he pinned me with a possum pin.

I finally got this. My favourite thing so far is Cole on commentary saying that situations have been "exasperated". Mikey, I hope you get a dictionary for Christmas.

I'm not up on my pop culture beefs. Someone wanna elaborate here? Last weeks episode of the Simpsons had Sideshow Bob as a mayor of an italian village, and he never told the villagers that he was a criminal. At the end of the episode, the Village police were looking through a book of criminals and they happened upon: Picture of Peter Griffin :"Plagiarismo" and Picture of Stan Smith: "Plagiarismo de Plagiarismo" That just comes across as incredibly sad and bitter. Did they think that would get a laugh? Steroid Peter punching out Meg was by far the best part of this show.

Each to his own, but I can't see how anyone who enjoys wrestling for the matches can prefer WWE to ROH, or even TNA. Aside from Benoit there's not anyone in WWE even trying (or being allowed) to put on intelligent matches.

COLE It's time now for tag team action! Cue: "Slither" The arena is already booing as the lights drop and a spotlight falls on the top of the stage. Into appears Christian Wright. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing team number one, first, from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing 233 pounds, he is the Moral High ground and the HIYAH World Heavyweight Champion - the Natural, Christian WRRRRRRRIGHT! His tag team partner, from Greenville, Carolina, at 284 pounds, the monster BO-HE-MOTH! Wright walks down to the ring, in his signature black robe, while Bohemoth follows a few steps behind, flexing his impressive physique. Bo gets ahead of Wright to jump onto the apron and push open the ropes for his friend to enter. Wright climbs a turnbuckle, where the spotlight falls upon him again, and pulls down his hood, staring out intently at the crowd to more boos. Eventually he jumps back down to the mat and removes his robe, handing it to senior senior referee Clem Buzzlefoxer, the 82 year old with the eyes and reactions of an 81 year old. The lights go back up, and we cue "Quiet" BUFFER And their opponents! Black smoke spreads across the entrance, swirling and rising into the hot air. Through it step two figures. BUFFER First, from London, England, at 237lbs, the Ice Heart, Daaaaaaan BLLLLLACK! His tag team partner, from Hollywood, California, at 283lbs, Tony BRRRRRRRRRRRRANIGAN! This is what many consider the greatest tag team of all time, the mighty BLACK TEEEEEEEEEEEE! Black, ready to go in ring gear, debuting new grey tights with black trim and boots, and Brannigan in a silver Flair-esque robe, walk confidently down to the ring to a good reaction from the sold out crowd, which of course they refuse to acknowledge. COLE Black and Brannigan teaming again for the first time in some while. Both have been involved in singles rivalries this year, with Brannigan capturing the World Title and Black in an intense blood feud with Zack Malibu. Will they be rusty and can Wright and Bohemoth take advantage? COACH I think they can. Wright and Bo are hungry, like all the Upstarts. Black T really has nothing left to prove. It's time they step aside for a new generation of teams. COLE Well, we've seen the singles matches between these four men, including a brutal empty arena match taped last week. Black and Wright may well still be feeling the effects of that bout. Dan and Tony roll climb into the ring and immediately claim the centre, forcing the Upstarts to back down to the corner. Tony removes his robe to a big cheer from the female section of the audience, as Black rolls his shoulders and glares at Wright. Ref Clem brings the four men together so check them over for international objects. They get the all clear, and its going to be Black and Wright to go first, their bigger partners making their way to the ring apron. *DING DING* Black looks ready to go into a lock up, but Wright just comes straight in with a hard slap to the face! Wright grabs the stunned Black and executes a quick body slam, and then goes for his figure four leglock immediately! Black scrambles backwards on his arms and grabs the bottom rope. COLE Interesting start from Wright! He worked over Black's left leg pretty severely during that empty arena match, and he must believe there's an injury there to exploit. Christian backs away and allows Dan up to his feet. This time they do lock up, and Black forces Wright into an empty corner, where Clem counts the break. Both men decide not to break cleanly, and both go for an eye rake, blinding each other! Wright and Black swing and miss for each other, raising laughs from the fans, until CW flails close enough to his corner to tag Bohemoth. The massive superstar climbs over the top rope and nearly decapitates Black with a vicious clothesline, causing the laughs to change to gasps. COACH What power from Bo! CABOOSE You have to respect that kind of strength. I wonder where Christian would be without him. Black staggers to his feet, right into Bo's clutches, and the big man hoists Dan into the air in a gorilla press, before dropping him down chest first onto the top rope! Bo walks around the fallen Black, grinning casually, before bringing Black up. Wright yells at Bohemoth "Leg! Go for the leg!" Bohemoth looks a little confused, and grabs Black's leg, and then does nothing. Then he punches it a few times. Black shakes his head clear and drags his leg free, and then catches Bo with a couple of quick European uppercuts, a flurry of forearms and a dropkick that sends Bo back into the Black T corner. CABOOSE I don't think Wright will be telling Bo to work a body part again any time soon. He doesn't have the technical knowledge to apply holds like that. He needs to stick to just hurting the opposition any way he can. Black tags Tony, and the two members of Black T grab Bo and lift him up and over with a double team suplex. Brannigan goes for the cover but the former HIYAH world champ shoves him off at one. Tony rolls Bo up and hits him with forearm shots and then goes to whip him off the ropes, but Bohemoth reverses it and sends Brannigan flying to the cables. Tony bounces back and tries to shoulder block Bo unsuccessfully. Bo swings at Tony, who ducks under the blow and kicks Bohemoth in the gut. Tony grabs Bo for a DDT attempt, but Bohemoth shows his immense power, lifting the not-light Brannigan up out of the DDT and planting him with the Bo and Arrow! (Falcon Arrow) COACH Great counter from Bo! Who said he couldn't wrestle technically! CABOOSE He stood up and dropped Brannigan on his face. Impressive strength, sure, but not exactly Olympic style wrestling. Bo grabs Tony up by his hair and drives his knee up into Brannigan's face! With Wright applauding, Bo scoops the former Heavyweight Champion up onto his shoulder, looking for a running power slam, but Dan Black ducks into the ring and grabs Tony's gold boots, pulling him down to the mat out of Bo's grasp. Bo turns angrily, and Tony and Dan grab him, trying for their 3B finisher (Combined Rock Bottom/Spinebuster) but Bo shoves them both off! Referee Clem gets Black out of the ring, and with this distraction Bo throws Brannigan into his teams corner, where Wright chokes him from the apron while Bo throws shots into the gut. Dan sees this and tries to get across to help his team mate. CABOOSE *Sigh* Why does wrestling in a tag team automatically make you an idiot? Get out of the ring and just tell Clem to turn round, Black! You cretin! COACH Steady, Caboose, some people might get the idea you don't want the Upstarts to win this. CABOOSE You're getting pretty cocky lately, Jonathon. I think you should stick to the lame gay jokes at Mikey's expense. COACH Well, you said cocky. Cock-y. Get it? Silence greats Coach's witticism, as Clem at last gets Black out of the ring, whereupon Wright drops his choke of Tony. Bohemoth tags in his friend and mentor, and holds Tony's arms behind his back for Wright to get a kick into Brannigan's sculpted abs. Wright with a fireman's carry take over and then applies a side headlock to a sitting Brannigan. Tony immediately rises up to his feet, lifts Wright up and plants him with a back suplex, showing that he brings the power for his team. Brannigan covers - ONE! TWO! And a comfortable kick out from Wright. Tony brings CW up and sets him for an Attitude Adjustment piledriver, but Wright fights him off and pushes Brannigan away. Tony runs in with a swing that Christian dodges, grabbing his arm and bringing him down with a back slide pin: ONE! TWO! TH - Tony kicks out and rolls to his feet. Wright and Brannigan exchange punches, each getting warnings from the veteran official, which they ignore. Tony gains the upper hand and lifts Wright up, hitting him with an inverted atomic drop, and then grabs his head and slams into the nearest turnbuckle. With a handful of hair Brannigan repeats the blow, and then locks on a full-nelson - full nelson slam, right into the Black T corner! Brannigan tags Dan, who climbs to the top rope - diving headbutt to Wright! Cover! ONE! TWO! THREE - No, Bohemoth breaks it up! Bo drags Black off Wright and sets him for a powerbomb! Tony tries to save his partner, but again ref Clem stops him. Bohemoth lifts Black high into the air and plants him with vicious intent into the canvas! Bo puts Wright on top for the cover, as Clem turns: ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Tony breaks it up! Bo comes back in and slugs it out with Brannigan. Tony gains the upper hand, whipping Bo to the ropes and nailing him with the Out of Body Experience spinebuster! Big pop from the crowd, and a cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* COACH Hey, wait a minute! That's not right! And indeed it isn't, as Clem has no realised. He shakes his head at Buffer and yells something in his old man voice. BUFFER Referee Buzzlefoxer has ruled that neither Brannigan nor Behemoth were the legal men, therefore the match MUST CONTINUE! CABOOSE What an idiot. Why is Clem still employed? COLE He works for beer money. Tony looks furious, but exits the ring. Bo rolls out, leaving us with Wright and Black, slowly recovering. Wright is up first and catches Dan with a forearm as he rises, and then hits a quick snap suplex. CW then goes for the figure four again, but Dan kicks him off as he does the spin. Black up and drills Wright with a big European uppercut, and then double underhooks Wright's arms, flipping him up and over with a Butterfly suplex. Dan is slow getting over to Wright, still feeling the effects of Bohemoth's powerbomb, and Wright is up to one knee. Dan applies a headlock, but Wright throws elbows to drive him off, and then quick as lightning grabs Black's left leg and executes a Dragon screw take over! Black yells in pain and clutches his knee as Christian smiles thinly in triumph. Wright puts Dan's left leg on to the bottom rope side on. He then climbs out onto the apron and uses the top rope to spring himself back in with an elbow drop to the exposed leg! Christian drags Black in to the middle of the ring and applies a single leg crab, piling on the pressure. Dan tries to move across to his corner on his arms, but Wright sits down on Dan's back, increasing the pain on his leg and immobilising Black. COLE We could have a submission right here! Tony comes in, runs the ropes and delivers a big boot to Wright's face! COLE Or we could not! Clem gets Brannigan out as Black limps to his feet. He goes for the tag, but Wright groggily trips him up and tries to go back to the crab, but Dan rolls over and grabs the bottom rope before CW can apply it. Wright ignores Clem, grabs Dan legs and just pulls him off the ropes, high into the air so that Dan hits hard on the mat! Wright with an Oklahoma Roll! ONE! TWO! THR - Dan kicks out! Christian brings Black over and tags in Bo, as Tony Brannigan starts to slap the top turnbuckle, rousing a clap-a-long from the fans as they encourage Black. Bo picks Dan up in a bear hug position and runs him all the way across the ring, driving Dan back first into the turnbuckles. Dan winces but has little time to recover, as Bohemoth quickly lifts him up onto his shoulder and before Brannigan can intervene delivers that big running powerslam, driving Black into the mat at high velocity! Cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! No- Tony breaks it up with a boot to Bo's back. Bohemoth brings Dan up and whips him to the ropes, but Black grabs the top cable to halt his momentum. Bo charges at Dan but Black pulls the top rope down and Bo tumbles over to the floor. COLE A smart move from Black, now he can make the tag to his partner. CABOOSE Black T have great ring knowledge. You saw some inexperience in Bohemoth there as he charged in blindly. Dan comes off the ropes unsteadily and moves to tag Tony - but Christian comes in with an elbow to the back of Black's head to halt his progress. Wright grabs Black around the neck and plants him hard with an inverted DDT! Referee Clem quickly moves to get Wright out of the ring. Tony Brannigan, meanwhile, drops down to the floor and grabs a hold of Bohemoth, who's picking himself up after his fall. Tony whips Bo into the guard rail, and then into the side of the ring. Brannigan rolls Bo back in, where Black jumps on top for a cover: ONE! TWO! Bo throws Dan off him and sits up! Black tries to turn and tag Brannigan as he gets back onto the apron, but Bo grabs his leg and trips him down to the mat. The big man drops an elbow across Dan's back, and then drags him into his teams corner, where he tags Wright - but Black suddenly fires, knocking Wright to the mat with a forearm as he comes in, and hitting Bo with a flurry of hard chops. Black grabs Wright by the neck as he rises, and slams in into Bo's gut! Full nelson on Wright and release Dragon suplex flips Wright over to land on his face! Black rolls over and makes the tag - no! Bohemoth drags him away again - LOW BLOW by Black to Bo, and he finally tags Tony! Brannigan in and body slams the groaning Bohemoth, and then drags him back up for a Rude Awakening neckbreaker! Cover! But Clem calls off the pin - Christian Wright is the legal man! COLE He's learning! Brannigan covers Wright instead! ONE! TWO! Kick out! Tony brings Wright up and sets him for the Attitude Adjustment piledriver, but Wright fights hard and back drops Brannigan to escape! Dan Black has climbed to the top rope - and Wright runs at him, leaping up with a high drop kick to Black's left leg! Dan falls down onto the buckle, and Wright climbs up after him, drawing Black up again - grabs the leg - Dragon screw off the top turnbuckle! Black slams hard into the mat! Wright quickly locks on the figure four! Dan screams in pain! COACH Tap out Black! Don't make Wright break your leg! But Clem is counting the break, because Black isn't legal and has to get out of the ring! Christian Wright is furiously wrenching on the hold, and won't let go when Clem reaches five! Clem is on the verge of calling for the DQ when Tony Brannigan breaks it up. Black rolls away and out of the ring, clutching his left leg and swearing. Brannigan is stomping Wright when Bo grabs him from behind in a bearhug! Wright rolls up to his feet and takes a step back - superkick to Tony - but he ducks and Bo eats the boot! The bestial Bohemoth rolls out of the ring as Wright looks shocked! He turns - into an Out of Body Experience! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners of the match are Tony Brannigan and Dan Black - BLLLLLACK TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Brannigan allows our elderly referee to raise his arm, before heading out of the ring to check on Dan Black, who gets to his feet with a limp. Black T make their way to the back to cheers from the crowd. COLE Black T pulls off another victory! COACH Only because of that inept referee. He should have had control of the match, then Wright would never had kicked Bohemoth. COLE That was certainly an unfortunate incident, but teams can't afford to make those kind of mistakes against Black T. This win has to put them in line for a shot at the tag titles, but almost more importantly, its another victory for the Originals.

I know I'm just feeding the troll, but... Firstly, you clearly haven't seen any Punk matches, as he's not a stereotypical X Division style wrestler at all. Secondly, do you not feel the business should evolve and put on different styles of wrestling? Should every single match on a card feature at least five minutes of rest holds?

Pretty decent show. Joe-Styles was good if not classic, but they'll have chances to top it. Oh, and Fosbury Flop is the name for the jumping method used in the high jump, as invented by a guy called Fosbury.

I think TNA are doing the best they can in terms of acquistions. Sure, Sting isn't going to change the face of the business for real but they have to play up like he is - they're not going to get Lesnar, Goldberg or Jericho. We all just have to be patient with TNA. They're going to make their share of stupid decisions but I think they're generally on the right lines, even if those lines are just being a slightly less dull version of WWE.

They should run a Sting-Abyss feud, playing up on the clasic Sting/Vader history. That's about the only way I'd be interested in seeing him in TNA.

Well, Val is a better worker than Shelton so that's fine by me.

Bloody lucky Germans. But a decent enough draw for England. Drawing Sweden shouldnt matter too much as we have them last and should have qualified already by then...but will be important to win our group to avoid said lucky Germans as you know they'd beat us on penalties.

Taped and in the can from a Unknown Location: Christian Wright vs Dan Black in an Empty Arena match.

COLE Fans, we have now a special recording of a match taped at an unknown location earlier this week. At World Without End, Dan Black was scheduled to take on Christian Wright one on one, but due to transportation problems Black was unable to make it to the show on time. Locker room rumour is that Wright believes Black deliberately missed the match for fear of injury. Naturally, this led Dan Black to lay down a challenge. The two agreed on an empty arena match where Wright's HIYA title is not on the line, under relaxed rules - but this is not falls count anywhere, the decision must be made in the squared circle. As the two competitors, referee Nick Patrick and our camera crew were the only people allowed in the arena, there is no commentary on the following match. COACH Woo! We get paid for doing nothing! CABOOSE That's more or less what you get paid for anyway. We cut to tape. Dan Black, in his usual attire of white and black halved short trunks, is limbering up in one corner of a ring in a medium sized arena. Wright is in baggy blue cargoes, hands taped up, opposite Dan. Nick Patrick checks both men over, and signals that we're underway - no bell, just Patrick's terse "Let's go!". Black and Wright circle each other, their impact on the mat loud and clear in the otherwise silent arena. Lock up, and Black immediately comes out of it into an armbar. Dan shakes the arm, snapping it out, and then torques it round again. Wright grimaces in pain but rolls forward and then executes a graceful cartwheel back to break Black's grip and counter to his own armbar. Dan counters this with the more direct method of a knee to the gut. Black grabs a front facelock and tries for a suplex, but Wright blocks it and then gets a little pay back on Dan with three hard knees to his stomach. Wright flips Black over in a seated position with a fireman's carry takeover and then dropkicks him hard in the back of the head! Wright with the cover, but Dan throws up a shoulder at one. CW brings Black to his feet and nails him with a pair of forearm strikes, and then lands a hard kick into Dan's left leg. Black goes down to one knee, and as he starts to pull himself back up Wright runs the ropes and clips out the left leg with a low chop block as Black stands. CW stomps at Black's leg. Dan rolls away into the ropes, and Nick Patrick counts a break. Wright backs off reluctantly, but as soon as Dan stands goes back on the attack with more kicks to the leg. Black fires back, catching CW with a forearm shot and then a big European uppercut that has Wright dizzied. Black with a trio of rapid, hard chops, the noise echoing through the arena, and then whips Wright to the ropes. Dan drops down for a backdrop attempt, but Wright stops himself in front of Black, grabs a handful of hair and slams him down backwards to the mat. CW with an immediate elbow drop to the sternum, and then a cover which Black again kicks out of at one. Wright brings Dan up and tries to get a hold on his left leg, possibly looking for a Dragon Screw, but Black fights him off with a forearm shot, and then a dropkick that tumbles Wright back against the ropes. Dan runs to the opposite side, and executes a sprinting clothesline that sends both men tumbling to the outside. Nick Patrick, officiating under the relaxed rules requested by the competitors, doesn't start a count out, but does exit the ring too to ask the two men to take it back inside. Black shows no sign of agreeing, however, as he throws Wright back first into the ring steps. Dan pulls up the apron, looking for weapons, and comes up with a kendo stick! This is a step too far for Patrick though, and the official snatches the stick away from Dan. After a brief insult to the veteran referee, Black turns back to Wright, who hits him with a punch to the stomach as Dan tries to bring him up. Wright grabs Dan by the neck and rams his face into the ring post! Patrick tries to remonstrate with Wright, but the arrogant young star ignores the ref and now slams Dan's head onto the ring apron. Wright pushes Black up and chops him hard across the chest. Another chop, and another, leaving Black wincing. Wright pauses to gain his breath, and then fires another chop, but Dan dodges this one! Christian's chopping hand hits the ropes and bounces back into his own face! Wright's response is bleeped out, and Black takes advantage by grabbing him in and hitting a DDT onto the apron! Dan gets behind CW, applies a waistlock and - German suplex into the guard rail! Wright hit hard on the back of his neck and lies motionless after this brutal assault. Black scrapes Wright off the floor and makes to roll him back into the ring, but changes his mind at the last minute and instead tosses Wright the opposite way, over the guard rail. Black applies a front facelock and tries to suplex Wright onto the front row seats! - but CW blocks it. The two men fight over the suplex for a moment, until Wright finally gets Black up - and a brainbuster onto the seats! Nick Patrick by now has abandoned trying to retrieve the competitors to the ring, and is eating a hot dog. Wright pulls Black off the chairs and tries to lift him back over the guard rail. Black throws a blind punch which catches CW in the jaw more by luck than judgment. Dan follows with another European uppercut that sends Wright staggering down the aisle between the banks of chairs. Black charges after Wright and delivers a jumping bulldog, driving Christian's face into the hard floor! Dan puts the boots to Wright, before grabbing him up and bringing him to the steps leading up into the stands. Black grabs his opponent and looks to try and snap suplex Wright onto the stairway, but Wright blocks it and then with an effort back drops Dan onto the floor! Christian takes a moment to regain his breath, before climbing up the steps! At a height of seven or eight feet he stops, turns, and leaps off with a big elbow drop all the way forwards and down onto Black! Dan convulses, and Wright covers, but Nick Patrick, finishing off his dog, shrugs away his demands for a count and points to the ring. Wright frowns at the official, but picks Dan up. CW takes Black by the neck and back of his shorts and, running, hurls him over the guard rail back to ringside. Wright then climbs up onto the rail and jumps off with a back senton straight to the gut of Black! Christian gets to his feet slowly, and rests against the apron, holding his back, the high impact moves he's been throwing out taking a toll on him. After half a minute, however, Wright is back on the attack, grabbing Dan up and bending his left leg back - and then dropping him knee first onto the steel steps! Black rolls away, swearing and clutching his leg in pain. CW puts the boots to it, and then brings Dan back up, looking to repeat the move onto the steps, but Black hurriedly fights back, snatching his leg free and catching Wright with an elbow to the gut. Dan then slams Wright's face into the ring post, getting some revenge for earlier, and then executes a DDT onto the ring steps! The impact of skull on steel is loud, and Wright is prostrate over the steps. Black picks him up and rolls him back into the ring, grabbing up a handy steel chair as he does so. Nick Patrick, following the wrestlers back into the squared circle, immediately goes to take the chair away from Black, who surrenders it reluctantly. Patrick tosses the chair out of the ring. Black covers Wright: ONE! TWO! THREE - no, a kick out! Dan brings Wright up and whips him into a corner, but he's limping slightly as he follows in and delivers a running European uppercut to CW's jaw. Black then grabs Wright up and deposits him onto the top rope in a sitting position. Black clambers up after Wright and sets for top rope superplex, but Wright comes alive and fights back! The two struggle against each other, teetering on the top, until Wright shoves Black down hard to the mat! CW immediately leaps off with his Holy Grail frogsplash - but Dan gets his knees up! Wright rolls away, breathing heavily, all the wind knocked out of him. Black is also in pain however, the impact of Wright on his knee causing further damage, and the limp is more noticeable now as he stands and brings CW off the canvas. Dan with a pair of hard chops to the pectorals, and then a textbook Northern Lights suplex: ONE! TWO! TH- Wright kicks out, rolling over onto his front in the process, and Dan pounces, locking on his Heart of Ice crossface! Black wrenches on the hold strongly, but Wright's feet are too near the ropes, and he's able to just touch the bottom cable. Black keeps the hold on for long as he can in the face of Nick Patrick's orders to release, and then rolls away. Dan uses the ropes to pick himself up, keeping his weight on the right leg. Wright also slowly rises, rubbing his neck. Black meets him with a couple of forearm shots, but Wright responds with a straight kick to the side of Dan's knee. Dan comes back with an eye rake, and then hits CW with a belly to bell overhead throw! Black rolls out of the ring and comes back with the chair again. This time as Patrick makes to take it, Dan shoves him away and just cracks the chair hard against the back of Wright! Black turns to the referee as if challenging him to disapprove, but Patrick just holds his hands up in deference. Wright tries to roll out of the ring, but Black drops the chair and brings him back and to his feet. Dan grabs Wright in a double under hook, looking to hit Pitch Black (Angel's Wings) onto the chair, but CW fights out and around into a hammerlock on Dan. Black reverses that round to a full nelson, and drags Wright into position for a Dragon suplex onto the chair, but Wright breaks the hold and catches Dan with a back kick to the groin! Black collapses to his knees with the pain of the low blow, and Wright is able to grab up the chair and just slam it viciously onto Black's exposed head! Wright covers Black: ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Dan throws up a shoulder! Wright stays calm and drags Black towards the corner. He then rolls out of the ring, grabs Dan's legs, and pulls him hard towards him, causing Black to crash into the ring post with probably the worst possible part of his anatomy to do so! Wright has the chair and slams it twice into Black's left knee, and then locks on a ring post figure four! Wright hands off Dan's legs, inflicting excruciating pain! Dan grabs the ropes, and Patrick counts it, with Wright only releasing the hold after serious threats. The release is only temporary for Black, however, as Wright gets back in the ring, drags Dan into the middle of the squared circle and applies the figure four leg lock! Black has nowhere to go, and with the damage done to his leg looks on the verge of tapping out, his head thrown back in pain. Nick Patrick leans in, asking Dan if he wants to give it up, and Black responds... ...by grabbing Patrick by the shirt collar and dragging him hard onto Christian Wright! The impact of the official on Wright causes him to lose his grip, and Dan rolls free. Wright shoves the hapless referee off him angrily, and gets to his feet turning around - into KICK WHAM BLACKOUT - no! Wright shoves Dan off to the ropes! Black bounces back straight into a Urange! Cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Black with the kick out! Wright curses at Patrick and brings Black up, grabbing a front facelock, looking for his Converting the Sinner suplex, but Dan suddenly counters, twisting out and pulling Wright down into the Heart of Ice! Nick Patrick keeps his distance from Wright's flailing hands as Black locks his grip tightly! Christian tries to drag himself to the ropes, to the referee, anywhere - but there's nowhere for him to go but to TAP TAP TAP Black rolls away from Wright, exhausted. Jivin' JR comes running out from the back, a medical kit in his hand. He slides into the ring with an effort and helps the limping Black out. There's no music, no crowd applause, but the respective looks of triumph and frustration of the competitor's faces shows this match meant a lot. We cut back to Sofa Central. COLE Wow, those two guys really went at it! Black picking up the win, but that could have gone either way. COACH Well, Wright had the match won until Black used the referee as a foreign object. COLE Regardless, Dan Black with a big win going into Climax on Sunday the 18th. Don't forget, it will be Black T against Wright and Bohemoth, and I have a feeling Wright will be out for revenge!

Yeah, because the fans will obviously go against Trish in favour of someone they don't know or care about. You get a new character over by having them be the aggressive heel, not the victim.

Angle should take up chess or something. Clearly he is insanely competitive.