Mystery Eskimo

Who's winding this thing up? I guess Zack? I can take it, if needs be. Got a free evening ahead.

Christ. What a shambles. Even leaving aside Sven's tactical ineptitude, those 11 players should have enough to beat N.I. no matter what. Unless they just don't care, which increasingly seems to be the case.

Isn't that where the Manic Street Preachers came from? Or some such. Philosophy, Religion and Ethics? Well...good luck!

I love Watchmen, but I'd have to go for Miracleman, if only for the sheer bastard evilness of Kid Miracleman. One of the all time great villains, IMO.

If he does crossover, could you please keep him as long as possible?

Sabin-Gibson and Danielson-CC sound pretty tasty. I'm not too inspired by the rest of the matches though. I'm going to pick Shelley to win it, not for any real reason.

Well they did need a 4th striker after Kanoute went. A pretty good buy for Spurs, I think. Owen's transfer has to be one of the strangest of all time. Poor wee fella.

Yeah, I can start it off. Won't be able to write this weekend though, I don't think, so don't anyone wait for me. So its Boiz vs GPX vs BT vs Zack/Rodez, right? I'd hate to get that wrong

Oh yeah, I forgot about the TLC match. Dan - SJ for the week after, then.

---------- As we return, we're in the ring with Mean Gene Okerlund! Gene has someone with him. It's Dan Black, in a snappy dark blue suit. He looks serious as ever. GENE I'm standing by with one Daniel Maximus Black, who at Angleslam last Sunday was betrayed by Stephen Joseph Popick. Dan, what do you have to say about it? Dan smoothes back his dark hair, before speaking with remarkable calmness. BLACK Well Gene, I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised with what happened. Popick's always been out for himself. I just made the mistake of believing he could also be out for the OAOAST. And you know, I don't even blame him. No doubt he's had his head turned by whatever GPX and Drek Stone have to say for themselves. I got distracted by my desire to rub out those little toerags, and Popick was able to take advantage. Now, as I say, I don't blame the man. But my pride is hurt. I was made to look foolish. So next week, on HeldDown, I am making a challenge to Mr Stephen to meet me in the ring, one on one, with no run-ins from his new pals, no interference - just a match to show that I am the better man, that I always have been. We've met many times before, Stevie. We beat each other all over the initial days of this company, all over IntenseZone. But you're looking at very different Dan Black today. There's no stupid Eskimo gimmick. There's no mindless, directionless angst. These days I know who I am, and I know what I can do. And that is break - your - neck. Dan smiles. A rare sight. GENE There you have it ladies and gentlemen - Dan Black laying down a challenge to Stephen Joseph for next week! He's in a determined mood, and I hope Mr Popick is ready to accept! Back to you, Sofa Central! AWWW NAWWWW!!! COLE Stephen Joseph is coming out! Crowd: BOOOOO!!!! AWW NAWW HELL NAW BOY YALL UP N DONE IT! Stephen Joseph w/ the Geeee Peeeee X steps out from behind the mythical curtain, so to speak. Stephen's got a microphone and is primed for a response, as he, Johnny, and Scotty walk towards Dan. Stephen Joseph You question my allegiance to the OAOAST Dan? You're the one holding on and preventing the company from evolving. You're like ohhh Kevin Nash, or Triple H...maybe you think you're more like Mr. HeartBreak Kid, come to save the day from all the young green wannabes. It's time to wake up and smell the roses Dan. You're right, I am a selfish son of a bitch. BUT YOU CAUSED THIS. I cared about YOU, about Zack, about all you guys at one time. But no, YOU ABANDONED ME, you all did. You caused me to learn that I could only look out after myself...And Puerto Rican Lightning. Don't get me wrong. I'm not with the Upstarts because I think they're good guys. They're not. I'm with them for two reasons. One, because unlike the Originals, THEY HAVEN'T SCREWED ME OVER YET. and Two, It's what's best for the OAOAST. I guess I could throw in a 3rd reason that you Originals, at every step of the way in that booking room you call the "Glass Ceiling", have refused to give Puerto a run, nay a shot, at a World Title he deserves to have more than quite a few guys that have recently gotten a run. So Dan, Tell your boys in the back, that I didn't turn on them. YOU turned on me. Chew on that one sunshine for the next week. You challenge is accepted, and I'm going to do to you what I did at AngleSlam. And what do I always say? Johnny And that's the Truth Ruth? Scotty And that's the Fact Jack? Stephen Joseph What the? .... NO! Fuck me! FUCK YOU DAN! Stephen Joseph slams down the mic in righteous disgust, as himself, Johnny and Scotty back up the ramp slowly.

I don't really want Hero in ROH, I like that ROH doesnt automatically have every single big name indie guy coming in. Same goes for Super Dragon. That said, I'm not at all impressed by Steen or Vordell Walker, so new guys to take their spots would be fine by me.

In my promo for this weeks show, Dan challenges SJ to a match next week. That could lead into Black T - SJ/PR quite nicely.

WWF/E has NEVER taken cruiserweights seriously. I mean, kudos to London for taking it to Vince but he should have known it would get nowhere. London doesnt need WWE anyway. He could be TNA X Division champ or even ROH World Champ.

Well England performed today the way the Aussies traditionally perform against us. I think they'll still make 300 but England will have only themselves to blame if they don't win the game from here.

Short, but....well, its just storyline. --------------------------------- In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BUFFER The following contest is tag team action, set for one fall! Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 407lbs, from HOTlanta Georgia - Johnny Jax Jackson, $cotty $tatic - former OAOAST Tag Team Champions - GEEEEEEE PEEEEEE EXXXXXX! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The former fan faves collect a variety of abuse as they strut their way confidently to the ring. COLE Folks, we're ready to go with a match that could settle some scores and open up some more - GPX are about to come up against an old foe and a new one. Cue: "Quiet" "BOOOOO!" "Yeaahhhhh!" "BOOOOO!" BUFFER And their opponents, first, from London England, weighing 238lbs, the Ice Heart, Daaaaaaaaaaan BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLACK! Dan walks out to a continuing mixed reaction. Wearing his black trench coat and shades, Black walks calmly down to ringside, where he stands and watches GPX cooly. COLE Cheers and boos for Dan Black tonight. CABOOSE Well, the guys done a lot of horrible things. But thursday night on HeldDown we heard him talking about how much the OAOAST means to him. Lately, we've seen him prove it, in his own way. The fans respect that, and so do I. Unlike his partner... Cue: "Awww Naw" BUFFER And his partner, from, weighing - STEEEEEEEEEEPHEN JOSEPH! Mostly boos for SJ, having been recently firmly aligned with the hated Puerto Rican. SJ walks down and joins Dan. They briefly nod to each other, and then dive into the ring, surprising Buffer out of it, but not GPX, who leap over to stomp them down. COACH Stephen Joseph wanting into this match to show the GPX what being an OAOAST Original is all about - well he has his chance here! Jackson puts the boots to SJ, while Scotty brings Dan up - a mistake, as Black blocks his punch easily and nails him with an open handed slap to the ear that has Static staggering. The blow echoes through the arena and the crowd "OOOOOO!"s in appreciation. Our referee, Charles Robinson, signals to get this one underway. *DING DING* Black grabs Jackson off Stephen Joseph and cracks him with a couple of forearm shots and then a quick as lightning snap suplex. Robinson gets SJ and Static onto the aprons for their teams as Black scoots over and tries to lock in his Heart of Ice crossface already! But Jackson pushes Black's arms away and rolls over into the ropes. Dan doesn't care, and grabs him from the ropes. A quick headbutt from Black, and he then lifts Jackson up in the suplex position but just drops him down stomach first on to the top rope. As Johnny hangs there momentarily, Black runs around and dropkicks him straight in the head! Jackson falls to the floor. Black runs the ropes! The crowd buzzes, anticipating a dive - but Dan stops at the last minute. Jackson leaps aside in fright, and the crowd laughs. COLE Black really taking it to GPX in this opening segment! He's on fire right here! The "Jax" takes his time getting back in the ring. Stephen Joseph leans in and asks Dan for the tag. Black looks a little reluctant, but tags in SJ nonetheless. Jackson and SJ meet in the middle of the ring and exchange a little trash talk, before going into a fierce lock up. SJ converts to a hammerlock on Jackson, who reverses it. SJ rolls around and into a side headlock. Jackson pushes SJ off into the ropes, and Joseph shoulderblocks JJ down to the mat. Jackson rolls up and runs at SJ, who grabs him into another side headlock! SJ brings Jackson into his teams corner and motions for Black to tag himself in, which he does. COLE Hmm. Well that was hardly all out assault from Stephen Joseph, there. COACH He's never wrestled these guys before. He has to get their measure. Black near takes Jackson's head off with a vicious European uppercut, and then CHOPS him hard. Johnny staggers away into a vacant corner - obviously the worst place to be, as Dan then lights him with three more pectoral splitting blows. Charles Robinson comes in to break it up and Jackson takes advantage of the distraction to poke Dan in the eye. As Black turns away, he quickly delivers a bulldog from the 2nd rope, and then roles over to tag Scotty S. Scotty grabs Dan as he rises and slugs away with a flurry of forearms. A whip off the ropes, and Static connects with a high dropkick right to the jaw of Black. A cover, but Dan throws him off at one. Scotty drops an elbow to the sternum, and tags in Jackson. GPX pick Dan up and whip him off the ropes. He ducks their double lariat, but takes twin knees to the gut on his return. Jackson then takes him to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker. COLE GPX starting to go to work on Black, as they must have done dozens of times before. They know how to hurt him. CABOOSE Yeah, the knowledge than Black T and GPX hold about each other just makes them even more likely to do damage. Jackson brings Black up and tries for a suplex, but Black floats over, dropping behind Johnny and grabbing a waistlock. Before Dan can try one of his suplexes, Jackson twists out and around and manages to drop the groggy Dan with a hard side Russian leg sweep into a cover: ONE! TWO! Black throws up a shoulder. Jackson brings him back up with handful of hair and tags Scotty in once more. Jackson lifts Black up for a belly to back suplex, while Scotty climbs to the top rope. JJ completes the suplex, then rolls aside as Static frogsplashes Dan! ONE! TWO! THR- Shoulder up again! Static brings Black up and tries for a Black Out (stunner), but Dan pushes him off. Scotty flys off the ropes and runs right into Dan's clutches! Belly to belly overhead throw, and Static lands in his teams corner. Black rolls over to tag, but Johnny Jackson is tagged in and drags Dan away. COLE Black getting more isolated, despite that big suplex. COACH GPX doing what they do best. Black knows he needs this tag. Jackson picks Black up and sets for his Beat Drop (pumphandle piledriver) but Black elbows out and swings and misses. Jackson grabs a sleeper on Black, who immediately counters with the classic jaw breaker. With Johnny staggered, Black leaps over and tags Stephen Joseph! SJ leaps into the ring and takes Jackson down with a weak punch! Static runs in and goes down without even touching SJ! COLE Hey...what the hell is going on here! Stephen Joseph stares down the GPX...and then...with a huge smirk, SJ turns and picks up Dan Black. Black, sweating and breathing heavily, looks confusedly at SJ, who responds with - FINALITY! Black is driven to the mat. The crowd's reaction is predictable, as they curse this betrayal. CABOOSE Well, that bitch did it again. How many times are people going to let him get away with this! SJ and the GPX put the boots to Black as the crowd urges him to fight back. Referee Charles Robinson doesn't know what to do. COACH Well, Black shouldn't have trusted SJ. Why should Stephen Joseph be loyal to Originals like Black who never did a thing for him? COLE What is with you tonight? The crowd suddenly CHEERS as Tony Brannigan comes racing out! He deals with his old friend and now enemy Stephen Joseph with a thunderous lariat, and GPX scatter, clearly seeing their job as done. Stephen Joseph rolls out of the ring and backs into the GPX, holding his neck as both members of GPX pull him back in a 'family" manner. Robinson is about to tell Buffer this is a no-contest, when the GPX grab him and point out that Brannigan interfered on behalf of Dan. Intimidated, Charles tells Buffer... BUFFER The winners of this match as a result of a disqualification - G! P! X! COLE Oh come on! This is a joke! Why would Stephen Joseph do this? CABOOSE He's a bastard. COLE I agree! I wish JR was here, I really can't do righteous anger with my girly voice! Let's go to something else Tony and Dan stare down at Stephen Joseph and the GPX

Whales just gulp up all the krill, the greedy bastards. Sharks actually have to hunt fishies.

COLE I understand we now have a video handed to us at the start of the show. I'm not really sure what its about, but we're going to role it anyway! We're just THAT irresponsible! We cut to a plain, white corridor. We hear people walking past, things being moved, shouted instructions. The man in the camera shot is "the Ice Heart" Dan Black. Black is unusually casual, wearing jeans and a Black T tee-shirt (simply black with a large white T displayed in the middle). BLACK It's about five o'clock. The backstage crew are all here, working hard to set up for tonight's show. I like to be here early, too. There's always a buzz in the air. The knowledge that the empty stadium will soon fill with people who've come to see the OAOAST perform. The prospects of cheers, boos, victory, defeat, blood, sweat, tears, glory, betrayal - the greatest drama on the face of this earth. I've been here four long years. I've seen it all. There's been drama after drama. Countless personal conflicts. And yet the OAOAST stands still. It's spirit is in every employee, from the guys setting up the sound equipment to the World Champion himself. This is the way I feel about this company. It's the way Tony Brannigan feels. And you know, despite all my misgivings, I even believe its the way Zack Malibu feels. These past months, certain people have been trying to tell us that we don't have the right to love the company. That we are, in fact, damaging the company by wanting to put on our best at the highest level. Two of these people are the GPX. I've gone back and forth with these guys all year round. Sometimes it was about who was the better team. Sometimes it got personal. Now it's going to become a war. No titles, no trophies. It's about survival. At Angleslam, I wanted to take on GPX in a handicap match. I would have taken both those little arseholes and wiped the mat with them single handed. But Calvin Szechstein doesn't seem to have the same faith in me. I had to find a partner. Tony Brannigan and CWM have become distracted. I don't want to get involved in their issue, although I'm sure all you more intelligent viewers can decide whose back I have. Malibu again? (Dan chuckles softly) No, I don't think so. Never out of choice, believe me. So who? Who could I bring to the GPX that would really bother them? Well, they seem to have this sudden stance against original members of the OAOAST. I happen to know one such person. I wrestled him in some of my first matches in the OAOAST. We were at odds back on IntenseZone. He's not been popular. I don't much like him, but the past can stay there. I know he respects the OAOAST. His name is Stephen Joseph. And as luck would have it, last week Stephen Joseph requested a match against GPX. Great minds think alike. And a pretty unusual team, I think you'll agree. Dan Black and Stephen Joseph. GPX, when you make an enemy of one OAOAST Original, you make an enemy of them all. We'll see you at Angleslam, and we'll beat some company spirit into you. Black signals, and the camera cuts. COLE Intense~! promo from Dan Black! He's going to partner Stephen Joseph to take on the GPX! Angleslam just got stranger. I can't wait to see what that team can do. COACH That's going to be a wild match - don't forget to order! The first 50 buys get a free DVD copy of Season One of "Cole's Bar"! PLEASE ORDER, NO ONE WILL PAY CASH FOR THEM!

At the end of the tag match Ki and Cide will probably beat down Joe, only to have Kobashi make the save. So from that point it will work out quite well, with Joe and Kobashi side by side in the ring at the end.

It should definitely not be a Pure Title match. I want to see these guys go at it without them having to worry about a bunch of fairly pointless rules or a screwy ending.

Yeah Ki doesnt need it, but at the risk of repeating myself it would totally make Roderick. I dont see it being allowed, however.

If playing fantasy booker, I would have gone with Joe-Kobashi and then have a mutual respect thing and Joe/Kobashi vs Aries/Strong the next night. If they could get Japan to let Strong pin Kobashi then what a star Roddy would become.

Although that sounds like a great match, it doesn't make too much sense. Joe and Ki, sworn enemies for the past couple of years, on the same team? Ki against Homicide when they're firmly aligned in RoH? Oh well, I'll trust in Gabe to supply the reasoning.

Aren't "Boo" moments pretty much a horror staple? If you don't have them then what's the point of ever building tension? But anyway, it's an ok movie. More scary if you're claustrophobic I'd guess.

I wrote a Dan promo about the match, but on reading this I'll probably hold it back for next week, where it'll make more sense.

When Regal and Scotty have a match, Regal better beat the living hell out of him and then go on to feud with Benoit for the US title. It writes itself. So Scotty will probably win.