Mystery Eskimo

The software on my ipod just completely screwed up to the extent its sole use now is a paperweight. I've been trying to get Apple to pick it up for repairs since before Christmas

Their second album is actually really good. Much better than most of the crappy guitar bands that get hyped over here. I hear Fightstar are actually ok too.

As I share a bday with Jingus, I get that too. Damn.

"I Predict A Riot" - Kaiser Chiefs

-Phenom-Conquistadors was…strange? -Tony’s promos, as Patty has said, were excellent, I loved them. -The Drek-Phoenix confrontation was cool, a nice little puzzler. I like that Drek seemed even madder because the guy he wanted to get at was just a jobber. -OAOAST Romance~! A first, I think, unless you count Cole’s various obsessions. I think Crystal and Axel should become a couple, and then Crystal turns heel on Axel and breaks his heart, because that’s what women do. So I hear. A good little match to continue their story, anyways. -The 70s Dude…also strange. Hey, the OAOAST’s Mom still thinks its hip. -I liked the Cappa-Watts segment. When it started, I thought Watts in a match was going to be a bad idea, but having Cappa refuse to do it worked really well. Will be interesting to see how he affects the Rumble. -Caboose strangling Coach made me laugh. That is all for this line. -Alix is cool. Maybe after Anglepalooza, she could go out with Dan Black for a drink or two. He needs some romance that isn’t from Oklahoma. -Saints-BT was a good match, and I’m really feeling the NNMX-Saints feud right now. JR watching OC was excellent. This also made me laugh. -Lioness put me off my morning blueberry muffin. Impressively disgusting. I mark for Mike Awesome, Referee, and also for: I like that noise. Oh yeah, good match too, and a cool beat down by Candie. -The Docs match was just to keep them on the show really, while I think of a good storyline for them. Suggestions welcome. -Chris Stevens is cunning. This storyline has been really good. Hoff seems to be going a bit Stone Cold, which isn’t a bad thing. -Isn’t Pheonix actually spelt Phoenix? Or is it special spelling for him? And that’s the end of the pedantic section of this feed. A shocking~! upset and the unmasking as AJ Flaire was very cool. Overall- wow, lots of matches. Good work everybody. AP should be a great show.

We all know our stuff

Looks like Reid's off to Spurs for £4.5 million. Not a bad price. Hopefully Megson will get a decent chunk to bring in players (no Baggies rejects please).

Boumsong couldn't seem to even handle the Yeading defence! I said I was being different

Mine did

Just to be different, I'll go with Newcastle.

I'm happy with Megson, although really, after I heard fucking David Pleat linked to the job, I would have been happy with anyone or anything else.

Good idea, Hardy-Benjamin would actually be something I'd want to see. In the mean time, I don't know, send Charlie Haas over. It's not like he's doing anything on Smackdown, he may as well be a Raw jobber.

Has anyone kicked out of the Pepsi Plunge yet?

Fuck, Forest won 3-0!!! Oh yeah, I have Football Manager too. Its great.

I adore Up, it seems like one of the few REM albums where they've actually made the music they want to, rather then what they think they should be making. I have nothing to back that up, but then I seem to have weird taste in REM albums. I don't really like Automatic or Reveal and I love Monster.

I thought the swerve ending was great. And the Frankies-Fan Boys (Fannies?) match was rather amusing. I think Patty should write all Fannies matches, and have them get molested by chimps. Or something.

Perhaps these should be collected in Home Entertainment? Anyways, I apologise in advance for the use of cliche JR humour. ------------------------------------------------------------- JIM ROSS Hello everybody, and welcome to another edition of the OAOAST Straight Shootin' Series. I'm Jim Ross, and my guest tonight is a man I've known a long time and also been spending a lot of time with recently - Mr. Dan Black. Dan and I are due to perform at a house show tonight, so here in Dan's hotel room I've taken this opportunity to take over from the Coach in posing some questions. Dan, how are you? DAN BLACK A little drunk, actually...afternoon cocktails, you know?...Er, can we edit that out? JR Sure, I know how to work this gadget like the back of my hand. *JR approaches camera, picture disappears. Numerous clanking sounds are heard before we see JR and DB again* JR I think that's got it. So, Dan, how are you? BLACK A little d- er, delighted to be here, Jimmy R. Keep it short though, I have to meet Tony before the show tonight. JR Here, how about a coffee? *Dan takes it reluctantly* JR Now, you've been with the OAOAST pretty much since its very inception, you've seen a lot of things change, a lot of people come and go. How do you feel about the company in its present state? BLACK It's very interesting. A new year, another new era. There's a lot of great new talent coming through, and while there's perhaps not the same level of anarchy and confusion that we once had (and its a personal opinion whether that's a good thing or not) there are enough talented performers to keep the fans and all of the boys interested and motivated. JR And how about your self, your position? BLACK Couldn't be happier. Working with Tony with the tag division has been a pleasure and an experience, both in the ring and at the booking table. We've had a lot of fun with Black T and through negotiations we've managed to bring quite a number of talented individuals in to join the tag ranks. And of course, while Tony and I work hard, we play pretty damn hard too, as you know, Jim. JR I sure do. A lot of our viewers may think that Black T is a gimmick, but Tony and Dan really do party that hard and have those girls in every city. Yep, Black T is a shoot. All apart from the part of the gimmick where I'm a bumbling idiot, of course. BLACK Yeah....of course.... JR Tell us how Black T came about. BLACK Well, for Anglemania III we had two big matches booked - myself vs. Stephen Joseph, and Tony vs Anglesault. On IntenseZone a week or so before AM3, we did the usual tag match to continue those feuds, myself and Tony against SJ and AS. The chemistry in the match was obvious from the start. So when I found myself on HeldDown without any clear direction, Tony was the obvious man to call. The rest is history. I truly believe we are the best tag team in the world right now. JR With the best manager, bah gawd! Why don't we go back to the start of your career. How did you get into wrestling? BLACK Well, I was always a quiet, studious type, nerdy, some might say, until one day I experimented with gamma rays in my school laboratory. Unfortunately, something went wrong and I was contaminated with radiation. Some how, instead of killing me, the radiation gave me amazing powers, and - JR You didn't freshen up that coffee any, did you? BLACK Er...no, but the "how I got into wrestling story" is always the most boring bit of shoot interviews, I thought I'd try a new angle. *JR takes the cup from Dan and pours him a new one* JR Even so, I think we'll stick to the facts. BLACK Well, if you insist. I pretty much always wanted to be a wrestler. No big story here. I grew up watching the old style British wrestling on Saturday afternoons, featuring guys like Big Daddy, Giant Haystacks and Kendo Nagasaki. Really awful stuff, but great at the same time. Two guys working each others arms for ten minutes, and then the time expires. No reason for the match at all. Fantastic. Then of course I began to watch your American wrestling. JR Any early inspirations? BLACK The usual, I suppose. Flair. Anderson. Steamboat. Savage. Then later I was inspired by tapes the likes of the Super J cups from Japan. Watching guys like Benoit, Guerrero, Liger and Ultimo Dragon was a huge education. JR Benoit being a particular favourite? BLACK Well, I stole his finisher, so I guess you could say that. JR How about your training? BLACK I started in England at the age of around 17 in the NWA Hammerlock training facilities. My progress was good, if not outstanding, and I started to work a few small shows around the London area. I was combining my wrestling education with a more formal one, studying for a degree in Chemistry. Things didn't really start moving for me until I finished that and decided to dedicate all my time to wrestling, from which point I improved rapidly. I was a mainstay in a few British promotions: LCW, London Championship Wrestling; AEPW, All England Pro-Wrestling. JR But you decided America was your ultimate goal? BLACK Well, you pay a bloody lot more, I can tell you. In England I often had to wrestle for a fish and chip supper and my bus fare home. I started getting a few bookings over here for small indie promotions, but obviously flights, internal travel and accommodation was burning through what I earned pretty quick. If it wasn't for the OAOAST I'd probably never have made it over here. JR You never tried to get into WWE via OVW? BLACK I did, but at that point I was only 200lbs or so and although I was an excellent technical wrestler I had no gimmick and nothing to really attract attention to myself so my try outs were pretty much a failure. But on one visit I heard about the trials for OAOAST, and I thought I'd give the States one more go. JR And I actually remember your first try out match. You were very impressive. The OAOAST was, and always has been, looking for guys who can work before anything else. BLACK Then why did you sign Mario? But anyway, my first trial match was against this big guy from Canada named Josh, as I recall. Wrestling him was like wrestling a refrigerator, except there was no light on inside Josh. Still, I think I got something out of him. JR You must have, because we had you in a couple more matches before offering you a contract. And a gimmick. But before we talk about that, who else do you remember from those trials? BLACK Plenty of blokes. Mr. Malibu, Stephen Joseph, Angle-plex, the Superstar. Alfdogg, CWM, Tony, Caboose, Anglesault RIP. The roster was loaded with talent. And Mario Logan. But despite him, it was obvious we had the ability to make the company work. JR Some of those names you mentioned have been somewhat controversial. How did you find them? BLACK I've never had a single problem with anyone in the company, honestly. There have been very real backstage feuds over the years, but I've been fortunate enough not to have been a part of them. Mostly because they were all bloody stupid. JR Now, I know you never really warmed to the Mystery Eskimo gimmick. It was my idea, and I admit it might not have been the best in the history of the world, but you must admit you were over with it. BLACK Well, think how over I would have been without it? But you're right, it was a fun gimmick, and I was lucky in that I got a push right off the bat. I got a long run with the Television title. JR You had some great matches in that run. And then the biggest of your career at that point, a TV/US Unification barbed wire ladder match against former OAOAST Champ Alfdogg. BLACK It was the first really dangerous match I'd had in the company, and there was a lot riding on it. When I found out I was going over I was a little nervous, especially as Alf was winning the World Title the same night and I didn't want to injure him. But everything worked out fine, and the match was great. JR Having that big win over Alf, did you expect to move up to the main event? BLACK Well, that would have been nice. JR Is that all you have to say? BLACK Absolutely. JR Ok, we'll come back to that. After you dropped the USTV title, you became predominantly a tag team wrestler with JINGUS. BLACK Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Brian's a great guy, he loves his gimmick and does a fantastic job here. JR You guys pretty much ruled the tag team scene just as you and Tony do now. BLACK That's right, although we get more girls now. And I don't have to talk to a fish. JR Yes, newer viewers of OAOAST may not be aware of the Mystery Eskimo's sidekick back in the day, Derek The Fish. An foul mouthed, talking, smoking, alcoholic fish. Whose idea was that? BLACK His, of course. JR Now, you don't have to keep kayfabe up here Dan. Everyone knows Derek wasn't real. *Dan looks at JR, a confused look on his face. The camera pans back to JR, who looks a little scared. Back to Dan, still confused. Back to JR, who's now randomly drooling* JR Um, anyway...we'll skip forward, past the OAOMEF, to your feud with Los Infernales. BLACK Great feud. We all had chemistry, the matches were strong and the fans were into it big time. Mr. Poet and Mr. Dandy are a pleasure to work with, and the TLC/Hell In A Cell match we had at Anglemania II is still one of my favourites of my career. JR Let's fast forward again to the brand split. How did you feel about that? BLACK Well, it was a brave move and I was all for it. Ultimately it didn't work, caused me a lot of headaches and probably the lowest times in my OAOAST career. But it lead to losing the Eskimo gimmick and finally becoming myself, so I can't truly regret it. JR IntenseZone was damaged from its early days with big names leaving and not being replaced. Did you ever consider joining the exodus? BLACK Well, I can give you somewhat of a scoop here, Jim. During my role of evil commissioner of IZ, I wasn't putting in much ring time and I had an itch for some fresh competition, so I contacted the SWF and wrestled for a few months in the now defunct SJL under a mask as the English Dragon, and even won the SJL title. JR That's a scoop? I thought they had to be interesting pieces of news? BLACK Shut up. JR I- I can't... I have to ask questions... What happened next? BLACK Well, eventually I had to concentrate full time on OAOAST. IZ was a home to me, and the remaining guys were determined to fix it, even as HeldDown got stronger and stronger and we got weaker and weaker. I had a fun feud with Y2Jailbait that spanned three months, and we had a great "Relaunch" show after I'd unmasked and turned heel, but there were too many fires to put out, so in the end I was very happy for the show to retire and to come over to HeldDown. JR You've mentioned being pleased to shed the Eskimo gimmick. Were you at all worried about coming out from under the mask? BLACK A little. I'd become used to not having to show facial expressions and working under the mask. I felt a little naked the first few matches without it. But I got to play a much more interesting character. Dan Black became the guy who's worked hard for something that's falling apart, and he was then willing to do whatever it took to save it, to the point of immorality and beyond. He became very dark, obsessive. JR And since then of course, your character has evolved again, to the playboy/Horseman type we see today. Now, I don't need to ask you if you enjoy that, do I? BLACK Hardly. There's a lot of freedom to it. Tony and I can be deadly serious, we can be smart alecs, we can play for laughs. And with the Dan character there's always the possibility he could snap again at any moment. JR Where do you see your character going from here? BLACK Wherever is necessary. JR Most tag teams, even you and JINGUS, eventually split up and feud. When will that happen to Black T? BLACK Never. You may see Black T split up one day, but it won't be in a typical way like that. Although I would like to work a match against Tony one day, we can be smarter than just having one of us become jealous of the other, as usually happens. Besides, there's plenty more for Black T to accomplish. With the new involvement with HI-YAH we've had the chance to wrestle in Japan, and I'd love to go back there and wrestle top Japanese talent. JR Would you consider a face turn? BLACK That would take a pretty big storyline. One thing I greatly dislike in the business is nonsensical turns, so there'd have to be a very good reason for Dan and T.Bod to turn. JR Who would you like to work with that you haven't so far? BLACK Being predominantly in the tag ranks for the last year, I've not had chance to wrestle many of the new generation of stars - Drek Stone, Panther, Leon Rodez, Chris Bryte, Hoff, Crystal, Axel. It would be great to work with them, either in singles one day or if they'd like to line up in a tag team match. If we're talking external to the OAOAST - Ric Flair, Eddie Guerrero, Bryan Danielson, Austin Aries. Oh, and Hogan. Everyone knocks him, but I'd love to be in the ring with a legend and a heat machine like Hulk. JR What about Sto- BLACK No. JR Stone- BLACK No! *JR leaps to his feet, jumping up and down, arms waving wildly* JR STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD THE RATTLESNAKE RATTLESTONE SNONE SNAKE COLD AUSTIN AUSTIN AUSTIN BAH GAWD! STONE STAKE COLD BAH STONE GAWD SNAKE RATTLE GAWD- *Dan reaches forward and gives JR a stinging slap across the face* JR BAH- Thanks... I needed that. Now, earlier I asked if you thought you'd make the main event in your early days in OAOAST. Apart from Royal Rumbles, it's an interesting fact that you've never main evented a pay per view show in all your years here. Does that worry you, make you angry? BLACK Not at all. Look, if you must try to get something out of me, let it be this - I've never been out for the top spot here. I've always been grateful for the chances I've had and all the great shows and fun times we've accomplished as an organisation. If the company ever needs me higher up the card, that's great. "Dan Black, World Champion" - sounds pretty good to me. But I'm having a blast in the tag division, even baby sitting you, Jim. JR Well, I- BLACK And that'll do, I think. Tony and I are supposed to meet some fans in a bar before the show, for a little pre-match rubdown. JR Can I come? BLACK Well...ok. But bring your barbecue sauce in that bottle I got you, just in case you get over-excited again. *JR pulls out a baby's bottle full of sauce and grins* JR Oh, oh, can we do the word association? BLACK No. JR But Coach did! BLACK Bloody hell...oh, go on then... JR JR! BLACK Big fat dancing legend. JR Jim Ross! BLACK Hoss lovin' pig swillin' Sooner suckin' Oklahoma idiot. JR Jivin' JR, the Farmer of Champions! BLACK Stop it. Stop it now. JR Tony "The Body" BLACK King of Old School, ladies man and champion. JR Drek Stone BLACK Yeah, I hear he's pretty talented. A multi-time World Champ in the making. JR Zack Malibu BLACK He's not bad either, although he's getting a lot better now he's working with Tony and I. Look out for The Original Elite angles coming soon, it's going to be great. JR Tag division BLACK Black T JR Mystery Eskimo BLACK A gift and a curse JR The Sooners~! *Dan gets up, throws the coffee in JR's face and exits.* JR This is Jivin' Jim Ross, slightly scalded, thanking you for being with us for this edition of Straight Shootin'.

HI-YAH Tag Titles: The Love Doctors vs. Japanese challengers

Australian cricket will be destroyed this summer! .....that would sound so much better if we werent right this minute getting thrashed by SA.

My feed: Firstly, I didnt get a credit Very good opening promo. Tony does a great job capturing Cornette, and the NNMX-Saints rivalry should be very interesting. I like Cappa's promo, very intense, no pun intended. I can sympathise with his lack of title shots so hopefully he'll get some more matches in the New Year. The Panther-Brock segment worked well to lead into the Brock-Bryte match, which was a good big man-little man match. I liked Bryte going after both leg and head of Brock and it would have been interesting to have him going over clean, but obviously this feud is going to continue, which is a good thing. GPX promo was fun, and good to have them on the card. I have to admit to not being a big fan of male-female matches, although they're generally well-written here and Zack-Alix was no exception. I really liked the ending, was surprising but logical and fitted Zack's character perfectly. I marked out for Abby's appearance, and HH-NNMX was an excellent brawl, with the right team going over given the match type. The Hitmen have got to be in line for a tag title run soon... Docs-Black T was designed to push the Docs up to the next level as No 2 babyface team behind GPX. Time will tell if they succeed. The outcome of this match might have been obvious, but I enjoyed writing it anyway. Drek-Crystal was very very good, MOTN IMO. Any match with a ringpost figure 4 gets extra points from me. Excellent finish too. The build to the main event was incredibly dramatic, really got the importance of the match over. The match itself followed suit and wasn't so much a wrestling match as a really sick two man war. I think realistically both guys would have been dead half way through, but all the big moves were excellent and the finish was very nice. Overall an extremely good show that could have been great with another couple of big matches.

In 2005 it's all about The Cakes.

Bias for (a random selection): Benoit, Christian, Flair, DDP, London, Rene Dupree (I have no idea why), AJ Styles, Bobby Eaton, CM Punk, Ultimo Dragon, Austin Aries, Booker, Regal, Corino, Steiners in their prime Against: Taker, Kane, Austin, John Walters, Edge, HBK, Nash, X-Pac, Teddy Hart, Homicide

I'm pretty sure Joe will make 2 years with the belt, and then maybe drop it to Aries. With Jamie Gibson/Noble coming in, an Aries-Gibson title match would be pretty great.

1. Ric Flair 2. Sting 3. Vader 4. Steve Austin 5. The Rock 6. Ricky Steamboat 7. Misawa 8. Kawada 9. Kobashi 10. Bret Hart 11. Jushin Liger 12. Ultimo Dragon 13. Bryan Danielson 14. Chris Benoit 15. Chris Jericho 16. Jack Evans 17. CM Punk 18. Harley Race 19. Blitzkrieg 20. LA PARKA~!

Joe will retain again. He will NEVER lose the title. It's a shame Jay Lethal can't do something more interesting than this Mask crap.