Mystery Eskimo

Oasis are pretty much a joke here in the UK these days. An excellent debut and decent follow up, but once Noel had money he stopped writing hungry everyman pop songs and Oasis moved into rock mediocrity. Even more sadly, no one has moved to take their place.

NME is worse now than ever, and their Libertines obessesion has driven me away after 15 years of loyal buying. I've heard a good proportion of their stuff and its the kind of thing that would have been forgotten during the Britpop era. Yeah, I don't like them.

Radiohead do have a sense of humour, its just very well hidden... People still like Oasis? Wow.

Some perhaps less obvious ones... The Rock Brian Pillman Owen Hart DDP Barry Windham Sting

It's cool to use them.

X-Factor onto the penis?

"Imagine" has to be the most overrated song in the history of...er...history. It's a truly vile song.

I'm thinking Punk might win, as Joe-Ki will be a feud that doesnt need the title to make it big. I'd love a 60mins+ match with Punk taking the strap. We could then have Punk vs. Aries, Ki, Shelley, Homicide, Dragon etc and maybe then drop it to Aries or back to Joe sometime next year.

Just a sidenote on the US title- the WCW US Title and WWE US Title are completely different things. No point trying to link them up.

Half marathon around 1hr 40, hoping to bring that down to 1hr 35ish next month. Have my first marathon April 05...

It's UWE Rage! Video highlights of the First Blood PPV are played, befoe Tenay and Styles welcome us to the show, both relieved at not having the Bezerker with them. Tenay announces Chris Daniels will get his TV title shot at Rey Mysterio next week, while tonight will feature a 10 man Gauntlet to determine the No 1 contender to the World Title. 1. Headbanger Mosh pinned Nathan Jones w/Dean Malenko with a cradle (4.23) 1/2* Jones took the early advantage with his strength, but Mosh was able to come back and score a debut victory with a simple roll up. -Macho Man Randy Savage proudly displayed the glittering UWE World Title around his waist. The rest of Clockwork Violence have thrown a party for him backstage, with Masa Chono working hard on the DDR machine. Into the party walks Sting, who shakes Savage's hand, but tells the champ he wants a 1 on 1 match for the belt. -Dean Malenko tells Nathan Jones he will coach him, despite his loss tonight. Malenko tries to get Jones to learn an armbar, but Nathan just runs around the ring attempting numerous big boots. Dean sighs. This is going to be hard work. 2. Tag Titles No 1 Contendership Kronik defeat the Nasty Boys by no-show, no rating Adams and Clarke waited in the ring until the referee was forced to declare the match in their favour. Kronik then showed footage of them locking two figures in the boot of a car and pushing it off a cliff. -Tenay wonders if Kronik just murdered the Nasty Boys. No one else seems too concerned. -CM Punk is in the ring with Kamala. The Ugandan Giant sniffs Punks boots, while CM explains that whilst on a trip to Africa, he accidentally ran over and killed Kamala's wife, Ulala, in his truck. To make amends, Punk is helping Kamala's wrestling career in the States. Mike Tenay wonders if this is all slightly racist. No one else seems too concerned. -Randy Orton is backstage, complaining about being absent from the PPV. Max Moon tells him to meet him in the ring to put up or shut up. 3. Randy Orton and Max Moon went to a no contest in a Falls Count Anywhere Match when Moon had to be stretchered out after landing badly on an Orton super plex ** (3.22) -Dustin Vice comes into the locker room following a hard work out and finds his protein shake has been stolen. Rhodes swears to find the culprit. 4. Arn Anderson & Bobby Eaton defeated La Parka and David Flair in a non-title match with an Anderson spinebuster on Flair (5.43) **1/2 Kronik stormed the ring post match and laid out the Horsemen with their power moves. -Dustin Vice interrogates Carlito, who says it wouldn't have been cool to have drank Dustin's shake. -The 10 men in the Gauntlet are revealed- Sting, HBK, Sid Vicious, Ken Shamrock, Scott Hall, Rey Mysterio, Paul London, Brian Pillman, Sean O'Haire and a mystery entrant. Entry order will be drawn randomly. -Dustin Vice moves onto Savio Vega, who has his own shake, apparently. Suddenly, THE MASKED MAN took out both men with a crow bar and drained the last of a protein shake before throwing the bottle onto Dustin's body. 5. Jamie Noble pinned Barry Horowitz with a Tiger Bomb (2.56) *3/4 A squash win for Noble as he announced his intention to get back in the hunt for the TV title. -Eaton, Anderson and Lane said they wouldn't defend the Tag Titles agaisnt Kronik until the next PPV, so there. -Alex Wright complained about being left off the show, so THE MASKED MAN destroyed him too. 6. 10 Man Gauntlet for No 1 Contendership to World Title This match featured two men starting in the ring, with a new man entering only when a pinfall, submission, DQ or count out was called. First two men into the ring were Paul London and Scott Hall. London pinned Hall with a roll up @ 5.23, *3/4 London pinned Rey Mysterio with the London Calling @16.34 *** Ken Shamrock made London tap to the Ankle Lock @ 23.23 **1/2 Sean O'Haire pinned Shamrock with a Sean-ton Bomb @ 28.03 ** HBK pinned O'Haire with Sweet Chin Music @28.56 DUD HBK pinned Sid Vicious with Sweet Chin Music @31.43 3/4* HBK pinned Sting with a roll up @40.31 after Sid Vicious ran back in and destroyed Sting with a powerbomb! *** Mystery entrant Owen Hart made HBK submit to the Sharpshooter @ 54.12 ***1/2 Owen was promptly jumped by Clockwork Violence, as Randy Savage watched on and Tenay decried the attack. Next week: TV Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Christopher Daniels Nathan Jones vs. Blue Meanie Sting confronts Sid Vicious over his actions in the Gauntlet Plus MORE!

Pre-show: British Bulldog pinned Test with the running powerslam (4.29) *1/2 UWE First Blood PYRO! CRAZY ROCK MUSIC! SCREAMING FANS! "HUSS!" Tenay and Styles welcome us to the show, and introduce their guest commentator, the Bezerker. "HUSS!" 1. Sean O'Haire w/Steven Richards pinned Scott Hall with the Cruel Intentions (7.34) ** As Hall went to pick O'Haire up for the Outsiders Edge, O'Haire connected with a low blow, swiftly followed by his finisher for the 3 count. -Backstage, the 4 men in line for the World Title each gave a short speech, promising to become champion. -Tenay tried to re-cap the situation between Dean Malenko and Danny Doring, but -"HUSS!" - kept - "HUSS!" -being- "HUSS! - interupted. 2. Dean Malenko defeated Danny Doring by disqualification (9.05) ** Malenko had Doring in the Cloverleaf when the Midnight Horsemen ran in to attack Malenko. JJ Dillon told Dean he was either with them or against them as Anderson and Eaton beat him down. Suddenly, Nathan Jones ran down to the ring and cleared out the Horsemen! As Jones and Malenko headed to the back, New Jack, Saturn and Jerry Lynn came out of the crowd, apparently straight into the Extreme Rules match as they attacked the Horsemen! 3. The Midnight Horsemen of Anderson, Eaton and Lane defeated Jack, Saturn and Lynn (14.32) **3/4 All kinds of plunder came out in this match, until finally Arn Anderson hit Jack with a flaming barbed wire bat for the pinfall. -Backstage, Dustin Rhodes is wearing jeans, t-shirt and jacket. Yes, his new name is Dustin "Miami Vice" Rhodes. He tells Mean Gene he's on mission to clean up all the corruption in the UWE. -Steven Richards congratulate Sean O'Haire on his win. Masa Chono came into the shot, and Richards demanded he make Clockwork Violence 2-0 for the evening. -We see a vignette of CM Punk, talking about his battles in life, his discipline in being straight edge. In the middle of a passionate speech about what he'll bring to the UWE, he's cut off by a strange grunting noise. The camera pans out to reveal Kamala. Punk looks like he's about to cry. -Tenay and Styles - "HUSS!" - speculate over the relationship between Kamala and Punk, before - "HUSS!" - introducing the next match. 5. TV Title Number One Contendership Christopher Daniels defeated Jamie Noble and Brian Pillman with Last Rites on Noble (16.21) ***1/2 Pillman snapped after the match and took out both Daniels and Noble with a chair. 4. Sid Vicious pinned Masahiro Chono with the powerbomb (6.01) *3/4 Chono worked over the leg of the big man, but Sid shrugged it off to hit the powerbomb for the win. -After watching Chono's defeat Steven Richards pumped up Randy Savage to bring the World Title to Clockwork Violence. -Dean Malenko thanked Nathan Jones for the bizarre save. Jones said he's sick of being a joke, and wants Deano to teach him to become a proper wrestler. Malenko appears to be considering as we cut to... 6. TV Title Rey Mysterio defeated Paul London with a dragon rana (19.45) **** After a standing ovation for both men, Brian Pillman ran out to attack, but wound up taking a beating from Rey and London! -The Midnight Horsemen celebrated in their locker room. JJ Dillon promised only bigger and better things to come. Suddenly Kronik and the Nasty Boys entered the room, demanding the Horsemen put up the tag titles, and soon. 7. Caribbean Strap Match Savio Vega beat La Parka (9.29) *3/4 Parka had Vega almost to the final corner when the MASKED MAN intervened, low blowing Parka and helping Vega carrying him around to each corner. The MASKED MAN then lowblowed Vega and nailed him with a DDT, leaving everyone confused. -Tenay and Styles go over the World Title match one more time. Tenay thinks Sting will get it done, while Styles believes in Randy Savage. The Bezerker chooses "HUSS-B-K". 8. UWE World Title, 4 Way Elimination Randy Savage eliminates Ken Shamrock with the Flying Elbow @ 9.39 Sting eliminates HBK with a Scorpion Death Drop @ 24.43 Randy Savage pins Sting with an inside cradle @ 33.03 to become the first ever UWE Champion. Savage celebrates in the ring as the rest of Clockwork Violence run in to celebrate. Savage doesn't look too happy at sharing the limelight, but still walks out the champ.

Is Dance Dance Revolution that arcade machine you have to jump on? /stupid Eskimo.

Why would they get blown up?

(I just realised JoeDirt and I used Hall in the same way...it was a total coincidence...honestly ) -We open with all 6 members of Clockwork Violence standing in the ring. Steven Richards explains that while each of CV has been heavily fined and warned on their future behaviour, that isnt going to stop them taking over the UWE. Richards then introduced the man who is their chosen champion, Macho Man Randy Savage. Savage revealed the UWE board has further punished Clockwork Violence by making a 4 way dance tonight, pitting Savage against Sting, Sid Vicious and the British Bulldog. If Savage does not win the match, he will forfeit his place in the PPV World Title match. -Tenay and Styles run down the line up, including Ken Shamrock & Shawn Michaels against 2 members of Clockwork Violence, as Jerry Lynn comes out for the opening match. 1. Jerry Lynn pinned Stan Lane with the cradle piledriver (5.57) *1/2 Anderson & Eaton hit the ring post-match, and the Midnight Horsemen beat Lynn down until Perry Saturn made the save. Saturn dished out a belly to belly throw to Eaton and then gave Arn the DVD. -Tenay announced there would be a special referee to oversee the TV title finals match. -Backstage, Sting, Shawn Michaels and Ken Shamrock tried to get on the same page to combat Clockwork Violence, but when the subject of the World Title arose, none of the men could agree. 2. Jamie Noble pinned Christopher Daniels with his feet on the ropes (8.42) *** After the match Daniels demanded a re-match for next week, but Noble just laid him out with an eye poke and Tiger Bomb. -Brian Pillman and Rey Mysterio were both seen preparing in their locker rooms, as Paul London joined Tenay and Styles on commentary, as he will face the TV champion at First Blood. -Jerry Lynn and Perry Saturn challenged Anderson and Eaton to a tag title match next week. The Midnight Horsemen accepted the match, but told the new partners that the titles wouldn't be on the line. 3. Television Title Final Brian Pillman pinned Rey Mysterio with an inverted DDT after the special guest referee, Scott Hall, turned his back on a clear 3 count for Rey (13.21) *** Mysterio bravely got in Hall's face after the match, as Hall and Pillman shook hands. The two were about to attack Mysterio when Paul London entered the ring to back Rey up, and the new champ and Hall exited, sneering. -Dean Malenko entered the ring and introduced his new manager- Madusa. Madusa explained that Malenko was looking for an opponent who could test his technical skills, and challenged anyone to come out from the back. Out came New Jack, who destroyed Dean with a chair! -Ken Shamrock wondered which members of Clockwork Violence would be facing them next. Michaels said it didn't matter, all Shamrock had to do was let HBK take care of things. 4. Sean O'Haire & Randy Orton defeated Ken Shamrock & Shawn Michaels when HBK accidentally super kicked Shamrock into an RKO for the pin (10.15) **1/2 -Steven Richards gloated over the win with Randy Savage and told him not to worry, Clockwork Violence would make sure he didn't lose his PPV place. -Michaels and Shamrock had to be seperated by security backstage. -Sid Vicious told Mean Gene he had a second chance to win the UWE title, and he would take it at the expense of Randy Savage. Richards appeared and tried to talk Sid out of winning the match, but Sid explained that while he hates the likes of Sting and HBK as much as Clockwork Violence, Vicious is his own man and won't let anything get in his path for the title. 5. Dustin Rhodes pinned Test with a bulldog (3.01) *1/2 The match was watched by Rhodes' old friend Barry Windham. Rhodes won convincingly, and Windham exited without saying a word... -Rey Mysterio challenged Scott Hall for First Blood, and a tag match next week. 6. Main Event. Randy Savage won the 4 way dance over Sting, Sid Vicious and the British Bulldog by pinning Sting after Steven Richards hit him with a chair while Vicious and Bulldog were brawling outside and distracting the referee (14.32) **3/4 After the match, Vicious went bezerk and powerbombed Bulldog through the announce table. Savage ran out with Richards as Sid beat down Sting too. Confirmed for next week: Paul London & Rey Mysterio vs. Scott Hall & Brian Pillman Non-title: Arn Anderson & Bobby Eaton vs. Perry Saturn & Jerry Lynn Rumoured: Jamie Noble vs. Christopher Daniels Ken Shamrock vs. Shawn Michaels Plus Dean Malenko responding to New Jack's attack For First Blood UWE World Title: Sting vs Shawn Michaels vs Ken Shamrock vs Randy Savage TV Title: Brian Pillman vs Paul London Rey Mysterio vs Scott Hall

Yeah, that guy really needs to lay off the AJ hate, its completely stupid. But anyway, looks like a good card. I wonder if Nigel will fit into 11/4 somehow.

Looks tempting, not far from me either. Seeing AJ and Doug live would be amazing.

UWE rolls into its second week with tempers already running high. Tenay and Styles recap last weeks events with the assistance of video packages, before it's straight to the ring... 1. Steven Richards d. Haku with the Stevie-T in 4.23 *3/4 Haku pounded Richards all over the ring, until out of nowhere Steven hit the Stevie-T for the upset pin. Richards got on the mic and told the crowd his days of being a joke were over. Mixed reaction for this. -Sid Vicious, Arn Anderson and Bobby Eaton discuss Sid's World Title qualifying bout against Sting tonight. They threaten a rampage of destruction should the UWE board pull the match after Sid's interference in last weeks tag title match. -Christopher Daniels cut a promo on Brian Pillman. Last week Pillman ran down Daniels on the mic and then pinned him with a handful of tights. Daniels said that while Pillman is a Loose Cannon, Daniels is like a sniper rifle, and he'll get his revenge with lethal precision. 2. TV Title Tournament, Semi-Final Sean O'Haire w/Paul Heyman d. Rey Mysterio with the Sean-ton Bomb at 5.34 ** Rey was tripped by Heyman, allowing O'Haire to hit a DDT to set up the Sean-ton. -Randy Savage stood backstage with Mean Gene and insulted the British Bulldog, his wife and the Hart family until Bulldog tracked him down, upon which Savage walked away calmly. Bulldog promised to make Savage eat his words, and his teeth, in the next match. -Randy Orton admitted to Josh Matthews that he lost to the better man, Ken Shamrock, last week. A passing Barry Windham mocked Orton, saying he was a disgrace to his father's name. Orton barely held back from attacking Windham. 3. World Title Qualification Randy Savage d. British Bulldog in 10.32 after the Flying Elbow for the clean win *** Savage then delivered three more elbows to leave Bulldog coughing up blood and carried out on a stretcher. -Tenay and Styles noted that it is now Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Randy Savage vs. Sting or Sid Vicious for the World Title at the upcoming PPV. Tenay then announces that the UWE have decided Sting vs Vicious WILL go ahead, but if there is any intereference, Sid will be banned from the UWE for 6 months. -KroniK and the Nasty Boys got into it over who should have won the UWE Tag Titles. A challenge match was laid down for next week. 4. Shawn Michaels and Ken Shamrock went to a no-contest at 2.45, no rating, when Arn Anderson and Bobby Eaton stormed the ring with steel chairs. A tag match of Michaels and Shamrock vs Anderson and Eaton was made, with the tag champs also picking up $10,000 fines for their efforts. -Brian Pillman dared Chris Daniels to interefere in his match, before demanding Paul London come out to be the next victim. 5. TV Title Semi-Final Paul London d. Brian Pillman in 8.56 with the London Calling *** Pillman was on offence when Chris Daniels walked down to ringside, applauding Pillman's efforts. Pillman eventually lost his cool, enabling London to fire back and eventually get the pinfall. Daniels walked away calmly after the bell. -Sting entered the locker room as seen on CCTV. The Stinger opened his locker- and it exploded! The camera went out as Tenay yelled for medics. Sting was carried away from the parking lot in an ambulance as Anderson, Eaton and Vicious looked on with mock concern. -Tenay announced a full investigation would be launched, and whoever was responsible would be fired from the UWE immediately. -With Sting clearly unable to compete, Sid Vicious was awarded the match, on the condition he leave the building for the rest of the night immediately. Vicious obliged. 6. Arn Anderson and Bobby Eaton d. Ken Shamrock and Shawn Michaels at 14.51 **3/4 After almost 15 mins of back and forth action, Michaels had Eaton set up for Sweet Chin Music- when Shamrock entered the ring and attacked Michaels from behind, dropping him with a neckbreaker followed by a dangerous wrist clutch exploder suplex. The fans hurled abuse at Shamrock as he allowed Anderson to hit a spinebuster on Michaels for the pin. Anderson gets on the mic and introduces the fans to the scourge of the UWE- Anderson, Eaton, Vicious and Shamrock- and that's what they'll be known as- The Scourge. Tenay promises the UWE will not let the Scourge get away with this, as the new faction leaves the ring. Next week: Confirmed: TV Title Tournament Final: Sean O'Haire vs Paul London Nasty Boys vs Kronik Update on Sting's condition Rumoured: Sting & Shawn Michaels vs. The Scourge of Sid Vicious & Ken Shamrock Randy Orton vs Barry Windhaw

The Liontamer... I liked the Lasso from El Paso that Eddie was using in the Smackdown 6 days.

Excellent. Let's hope this sparks a losing run for Arsenal...unlikely, but I can dream. I like how all the Arsenal players and Wenger were moaning about the penalty and Van Nistlerooy...like their team is full of rule abiding angels.

I'll take this on... It's Tuesday night, 9pm, and time for the debut of- Universal Wrestling Enterprise:Rage At ringside sit Tenay and Styles. No sooner have they welcomed us to the show, then it's time for the first ever UWE match up. 1. 8 Man Television Title Tournament, First Round Rey Mysterio defeated La Parka at 4.45 with the West Coast Pop to advance **1/2 -Tenay explains the TV Title tournament and the World Title Tournament, which consists of 4 qualifying matches, two this week and two the next. The 4 winners will compete in an elimination match at the upcoming UWE PPV, "First Blood". -We go backstage where Mean Gene Okerlund is with Randy Savage. Savage explains his mission to become first UWE Champ, when he's interupted by a passing British Bulldog. Bulldog promises to be a proud, fighting champion when he gets the chance. A manic Savage is only restrained from attacking Bulldog by Gene's pointing out that his match is up later tonight, and he doesn't want to be suspended. -Tenay and Styles point out that backstage assaults and run ins will not be tolerated in the UWE, and any rule breaking will be punishable with heavy fines and suspensions. 2. 8 Man Television Title Tournament, First Round Paul London defeated Jamie Noble with the London Calling Shooting Star Press at 9.46 *** -Arn Anderson and Bobby Eaton were seen talking to Sid Vicious in the locker room, before the camera man was pulled away by Ken Shamrock, who wanted to give his credentials as the world's most dangerous man and most likely UWE World Champion. 3. World Title Qualification Bout Shawn Michaels defeated Mashahiro Chono with Sweet Chin Music in 8.23 to book a place at First Blood **1/2 -During the match, Tenay revealed the other 6 men involved in the chase for the World Title as Sting, Randy Savage, Ken Shamrock, Sid Vicious, British Bulldog and Randy Orton. Styles explained that tonights main event will be a four way tag team contest for the UWE Tag Titles. -Josh Matthews attempted to interview Anderson and Eaton about Sid Vicious, but was blanked. One person who did want to talk, however, was Paul Heyman, who introduced the person receiving his backing for the UWE TV Title- Sean O'Haire. 4. 8 Man Television Title Tournament, First Round Sean O'Haire w/Paul Heyman defeated Perry Saturn with the Sean-ton Bomb at 3.32 in what was essentially a squash *1/2 -Brian Pillman cut a promo in the ring complaining about Randy Orton getting into the World Title mix while he has to face a loser like Christopher Daniels for a belt he doesn't even want. This naturally brought Daniels to the ring for the next match. 5. 8 Man Television Title Tournament, First Round Brian Pillman defeated Christopher Daniels with a cradle and handful of tights at 10.18 ***1/2 -Randy Orton told Josh Matthews that Pillman was of no consequence to him. The only thing that matters to Randall is defeating Ken Shamrock tonight and advancing. -Kronik, the Nasty Boys and Anderson & Eaton confront each other backstage- but realise they don't know the identity of the fourth team in the Tag Title match. 6. World Title Qualification Bout Ken Shamrock defeated Randy Orton with the ankle lock at 6.34 *3/4. Shamrock overwhelmed Orton, but the two men shook hands afterwards. 7. Tag Titles Match Anderson & Eaton defeated Kronik, the Nasty Boys and British Bulldog and Sting when Sid Vicious interfered, powerbombing Sting after a ref bump for Anderson to get the pin in 15.12 **2/4 -Tenay said he was already receiving word that Vicious would be fined for his actions, and possibly have his match against Sting next week awarded to Sting. Meanwhile, Anderson, Eaton and Vicious celebrated, seemingly showing an alliance. Next week: TV Title Tournament Semi Finals: Rey Mysterio vs Sean O'Haire Paul London vs Brian Pillman World Title Qualification: Sting vs Sid Vicious (pending the UWE board's decision) Randy Savage vs British Bulldog

never had to bump this before... Forest lost again...bleh. Can't even be bothered to say anymore.

Reeve was following a natural human instinct; to help both himself and those in a similar position. I know that many people, including myself, donate more to cancer charities having lost someone to that disease. There's nothing "asshole" about it. Or am I just taking this Maddox guy too seriously?

:: Buys a hat and dances around it ::