

Mystery Eskimo
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Everything posted by Mystery Eskimo
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All this takes is an apology from SS/AP to end it. They went over the line. It wasnt even funny, I'm sorry to say. Maybe I'm getting old or something.
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London-Noble sounds worth seeing. Shame about the rest. Smackdown is going to desperately need new guys post WM.
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CREDITS FrigidSoul Dan Eskimo PRL Tony Anglesault!
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Blackness...the sound of an icy gale howling in the night... CRACK! The screen shatters like brittle glass, to be replaced with video feed... Graphic: Zero Hour, Febuary 29th 2004 Stephen skins the cat on the ropes and doesn't fly over them and into the freezer! Instead, he quickly grabs Dan into a chokehold, and then transitions into full-nelson hold wrenching Dan nearly over the top rope. Stephen pauses and turns to look at the freezer, lengthwise perpendicular to the ring. He smiles, and the crowd catches on. Dan makes a lunge to get free, and Stephen snaps the full nelson back, jumping backwards off the ring apron, pulling Dan Black over. JR BY GAWD ALMIGHTY! Jesse Stephen Joseph risked it all with a out of the ring Finality. JR Dan Black is FINALIZED into the Arctic Freezer! The crowd POPS big time, standing on its feet and crowding into the guardrails as indeed, Dan Black is finalized into the Arctic Freezer, taking the modified Stunner across the lip of the freezer bottom, snapping his neck back and falling back first hard into the freezer! Stephen turns around and pulls the door closed , straining against the pain in his lower back from the landing. It lands with a thud and its closed, the last image of Dan Black writhing in pain etched in. A referee comes over quickly with the Adrenaline title, and hands it to Stephen. Our crowd is ape and Stephen quickly goes from celebrating into a trance, staring at the sledgehammer Eskimo tried to use on him Jesse The Heartless bastard is thinking of using the sledge! Stephen, HHH-esque, pulls the sledge up, climbing on top of the freezer. He looks out to the crowd, the ravenous masses, raises the sledge over his head.... and... clenching his mouth, biting his tongue almost, brings it back down throwing it almost as hard as he can into the freezer. The sledgehammer bursts the freezer and lunges about a foot deep inside of it, right where Dan's head would be. He wrenches it out, bloody on the end, and standing on the freezer with a red sledgehammer and a new title belt, Stephen Joseph is your new Adrenaline Champion. This is most certainly not Big Poppa Popick. His grin is far, far too wide. The camera freezes on the jubilant face of Stephen Joseph, until the screen fades to darkness once more... BOOM! BOOM! BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM! Pyro blasts light up the screen as RATM's "Guerilla Radio" kicks in, revealing another packed crowd as IntenseZone is on the air! Cue: Generic cowboy music Good ol' JR waddles out, waving to the fans, who mostly ignore him. JR stumbles down the ramp to the announce table, where he dons the mic: JR Good evening and welcome to IntenseZone! We're just days removed from Zero Hour, where Stephen Joseph won a brutal, bloody battle with Dan Black to become the Adrenalin Champion and take part 1 of their war! After that match Dan Black was hospitalized, and we still have no word as to whether he will be in attendance tonight. Let's get to the action!
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JR: Welcome back fans, and it is main event time on IntenseZone. It has been an incredible night on this show, as we experience the fallout from Zero Hour: Night of the X, and begin the countdown to our next pay-per-view, the biggest pay-per-view of them all, AngleMania III. Sunday, March 28th, live from the Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit, Michigan. If you can’t see it at the Silverdome, then you can order this once-in-a-lifetime five-hour event live on pay-per-view. The Silverdome has been sold out for months in advance, and we already have some matches already made for AngleMania. We will have the first ever House of Mirrors Match between Stephen Joseph and Dan Black. AngleSault will take on T-Bod, the man formerly known as Tony “The Body”. And in the IntenseZone main event, the Puerto Rican Championship will be defended in a one-on-one contest. The Champion, Puerto Rican Lightning will take on The Mad Cappa and if Cappa loses, then he must retire from wrestling forever. But the question now is whether or not that match will even take place. Last Sunday at Zero Hour, The Mad Cappa and PRL signed the contract for their historic matchup, but afterwards, The Lightning Crew did a brutal beatdown on Mad Cappa, hitting him with their finishing moves, hitting him with a stun taser, and branding him with spray-paint leaving him a bloodied mess. ::The OaOasT logo flashes by on the screen. The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen. Cut to OaOasT Zero Hour: Night of the X last Sunday. A caption reads “ZERO HOUR: NIGHT OF THE X. COMING SOON TO OAOAST HOME VIDEO!” Cut to after Mad Cappa and PRL sign the contract for their AngleMania III match.:: PRL (with a sadistic smile.): Maybe, just maybe, I don’t know. I…I just—just get a feeling. An inkling. Call it a sixth sense if you will. A feeling in my gut, my stomach, that just, I get a feeling that (PRL’s smile fades into a cold, sadistic frown): You’re not going to make it to AngleMania! JR: OH MY GAWD~! ::Colombian Heat clotheslines the back of The Mad Cappa. The crowd boos loudly as PRL and Colombian Heat beat down on Mad Cappa with kicks.:: “Mean” Gene Okuerland: OH MY! That’s it! I’m getting out of here! Donald Trump: Whoa! Security! Security! Get out here! JR: Mad Cappa was pearl harbored from behind by Colombian Heat and now is being beat on by these two. ::”Mean” Gene Okuerland and Donald Trump exit the ring as PRL and Colombian Heat beat on Cappa. The two Lightning Crew members pick up Cappa as the crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Suddenly, the crowd becomes hyper as The Mad Cappa starts to fight back. He nails Lightning and Heat with lefts and rights.:: JR: And now Cappa is fightning back! ::Cappa knocks heads with PRL and Heat, not noticing the crowd’s boos as Vitamin X runs into the ring with the stun taser. Cappa beats on Puerto Rican Lightning, when suddenly, Vitamin X runs to Cappa and puts the stun taser on his back. TMC screams and crumbles to the mat.:: JR: AND THAT DAMN TASER! THAT DAMN TASER HAS JUST BEEN USED ONCE AGAIN ON THE MAD CAPPA! Jesse: I think we are getting the AngleMania III match early! And with the same result! JR: The Mad Cappa is recovering from that taser shot, but this has given The LC the advantage. ::The crowd boos The Lightning Crew loudly and throw garbage into the ring as PRL, Colombian Heat, and Vitamin X lay into Mad Cappa with boots. Cappa screams and holds his back as PRL puts his boot to Cappa’s throat, making him gasp for air. Cuban Wall, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member, Thomas Rodriguez, and Spanish Fly run into the ring and join in on the beatdown. Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez follow with Boricua joining the beatdown. The crowd continues booing loudly as The Mad Cappa gets beatdown by The Lightning Crew 8-to-1. Donald Trump meanwhile is calling for security.:: JR: The numbers game has affected The Mad Cappa and now he is getting beaten up by The Lightning Crew! Jesse: Finally! Everytime The Lightning Crew has tried to beat Mad Cappa, he has always gotten the advantage. Well now it is time for The Lightning Crew to get THEIR payback! HA! HA! HA! JR: WILL SOMEBODY COME OUT HERE AND STOP THIS? ::The Lightning Crew all stand back and taunt The Mad Cappa, who is breathing heavily and crawling around the ring. PRL kicks Cappa in the gut and then spits in his face. Security runs into the ring, but are held off by The Lightning Crew. Meanwhile, Colombian Heat grabs the suitcase that is still on the table and waits for The Mad Cappa to get up. The LC laugh and then when Cappa gets up, Colombian Heat smashes the suitcase across the back of Cappa’s head opening up the back of his head. The crowd boos very loudly and continues throwing garbage in the ring as blood oozes out from the back of Cappa’s head. He struggles to get up, shaky from the taser shot, but The Lightning Crew continues beating on Mad Cappa. Security tries to run into the ring, but are beaten by The LC. The crowd chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” but Cappa is still on the mat.:: JR: THE LIGHTNING CREW. FIGHTNING OFF SECURITY! THEY ARE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF THE MAD CAPPA! Jesse: Just like on May 27, 2003. The night The Mad Cappa got his larynx crushed by Puerto Rican Lightning! This is great! Once again, The Lightning Crew is beating up The Mad Cappa for injecting himself into The Lightning Crew’s business! This is wonderful! I love this! JR: THE DAMN LIGHTNING CREW IS LAYING INTO THE MAD CAPPA! CAPPA IS BLEEDING FROM THE BACK! CAPPA IS BUSTED OPEN! I DON’T BELIEVE THIS! AND IT LOOKS LIKE THEY AREN’T DONE YET!!! ::PRL and Vitamin X grab the chairs from the table and wait for him to get up. PRL smashes a chair over Mad Cappa’s head. The crowd groans and then boos. TMC gets down on his knees, and is met by another chair shot from Vitamin X to more boos. Cappa falls to the mat, unconscious, and bleeding from his forehead. PRL and X pose with the chairs and are met with loud boos. PRL spits at the crowd and sneers, he laughs evilly and then tells Mr. Boricua to pick up The Mad Cappa. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Boricua picks up Cappa and clutches his right hand over Cappa’s throat. The crowd boos loudly.:: JR: Oh no! Don’t tell me! He’s not going to do this! No! Not like this! Oh Gawd! No! ::Mr. Boricua lifts up Mad Cappa and chokeslams him through the table to loud boos. TMC lies in the wreckage of the table, bleeding profusely, unconscious. The Lightning Crew taunts Mad Cappa and laugh evilly. They high five each other.:: JR: THE MAD CAPPA IS LYING ON THE MAT, BLEEDING PROFUSELY! HE MUST BE IN SERIOUS PAIN! HE IS BLEEDING! HE HAS JUST BEEN SENT THROUGH A TABLE! THIS IS JUST HORRIBLE! Jesse: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THIS IS GREAT! THE MAD CAPPA HAS JUST BEEN ANILIHATED BY THE LIGHTNING CREW! I LOVE THIS! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS JUST SOFTENED UP THE MAD CAPPA FOR ANGLEMANIA! JR: WILL THE MAD CAPPA EVEN BE READY TO COMPETE FOR ANGLEMANIA IS WHAT I’M WONDERING! Jesse: IF HE IS NOT ABLE TO COMPETE, EVEN BETTER! JR: IT LOOKS LIKE THIS ISN’T OVER! NOW COME ON! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! NOT RIGHT AT ALL! COME ON! HE’S HAD ENOUGH! HE’S HAD ENOUGH! ::The crowd continues booing loudly and chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” PRL tells the crowd to “SHUT UP!” and then picks Cappa up and gives him the P.R. Nightmare.:: JR: P.R. NIGHTMARE ON THE MAD CAPPA! ::The crowd throws garbage into the ring, as Colombian Heat heads to the top rope. Heat leaps off with Straight From Da Street, which connects, on Cappa. Heat then grabs Mad Cappa and kicks him in the gut. He gets behind him and grabs his arms, lifting him up and flipping him in the air. He spins around and brings him down with the Colombian Necktie.:: JR: BAWD GAWD~! THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE HAS BEEN HIT BY COLOMBIAN HEAT! I DON’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING! Jesse: I have no problem with what I’m seeing. ::Colombian Heat laughs evilly and poses. He throws gangsta signs and then grabs his testicles and sneers. He spits at the crowd as Spanish Fly picks up the bleeding Mad Cappa and places him on the top rope. The crowd boos and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Garbage continues getting thrown in the ring as Spanish Fly gets in front of Cappa, grabs his arms, and leaps off the top rope with Cappa behind him, causing Cappa’s head to hit the mat. The Fly Swatter. The Lightning Crew cheer him on and slap hands with Spanish Fly, as Fly sneers at Mad Cappa, who is lying face down on the mat. Blood has covered the back of his head and has gone down the back of his shirt. The crowd continues booing as Vitamin X begs PRL for a chance to beat Cappa. PRL allows Vitamin X to pick up Mad Cappa. X kicks Cappa in the gut, heads to the ropes, jumps off the ropes, and hits Mad Cappa with a springboard DDT, X-Marks-The-Spot. X then heads to the top rope…and comes down with a flying elbow drop. X curses Mad Cappa out and spits in his face. PRL laughs evilly as X applies the Lethal Injection screaming. Cappa is knocked out and does not tap out.:: Jesse: AND THAT’S WHAT HE GETS FOR BEATING THE MAD CAPPA AND GIVING HIM A TASER SHOT! JR: This is just a brutal beatdown! A brutal beatdown! I have never seen something so horrific in my life! This is just terrible. Cappa’s blood has stained the mat. He is unconscious. Jesse: This is all done just to soften Cappa up for their match at AngleMania III. JR: Is this match even going to happen? ::Mr. Boricua picks up the dizzy, dazed, and bleeding Mad Cappa and powerbombs Cappa. Cuban Wall picks up Cappa and slaps his face. Cappa wakes up, his face covered in red. His shirt stained in blood. He is bleeding front and back, and Cuban Wall trash talks him and spits in his face. He lifts Mad Cappa up and places him over his right shoulder. Wall yells out and drops Mad Cappa down with a backbreaker completing the Wallbreaker. PRL laughs evilly as Mr. Boricua lifts up Cappa for the Lightning Crew Bomb. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez then picks up Cappa and gives him the Lindsay-Curanna. She then picks him up again and gives him the Latin Bitch Jam (Bulldog). Puerto Rican Lightning orders PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member to pick up The Mad Cappa. PROTOTYPE yells and does so.:: JR: This is just so brutal. I cannot believe what I’m seeing. I—I—have no words for this. I’m speechless. Utterly, utterly speechless. I—I—I can’t believe this. I CAN’T SPEAK THROUGH THIS! Jesse: You do that. I’m going to sit back and relax and watch The Mad Cappa get his ass kick. ::PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member picks up the dazed, confused, bleeding Mad Cappa and places him in front of him. He lifts him up in a pump handle slam position. He then puts him up for a Powerbomb, and brings him down with a sitdown Powerbomb for the PROTO-PLEX. PRL applauds him and then orders him to continue. PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member yells, snorts, and growls and then picks up Mad Cappa once again and places The Mad Cappa back first over his shoulders. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PROTOTYPE walks around the ring with Mad Cappa on his shoulders and then does the PERFECT Finishing Move on Mad Cappa causing Cappa’s face to once again hit the mat. The Mad Cappa lies on the mat, covered in blood from head to toe. His face, his shirt is blood stained. The Lightning Crew surround The Mad Cappa and laugh evilly. They spit in his face as garbage is thrown into the ring. PRL, Colombian Heat, and Vitamin X hold The Mad Cappa in place and talk to Cuban Wall. They all laugh evilly and taunt The Mad Cappa as Cuban Wall heads to the ropes, leaps over Cappa, bounces off the other ropes and splashes The Mad Cappa completing The Lightning Crew Splash. The crowd groans and then boos as Mad Cappa screams. Wall laughs as PRL picks up Cappa and gives him another P.R. Nightmare. PRL, X, and Heat pick up Cappa and hold him up for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. The crowd continues booing the loudest they booed for PRL. Lindsay smiles evilly and kisses Mad Cappa, then slaps him in the face. The crowd chants “SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!” as Thomas Rodriguez beats on Cappa. PRL picks up Mad Cappa and flips the crowd off. He jaws with the fans and then kicks The Mad Cappa in the gut and delivers a P.R. Nightmare on The Mad Cappa.:: JR: I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SEEN! THAT WAS JUST BRUTAL! THAT WAS HORRIBLE! WHAT A PAINFUL EVENT WE JUST SAW! THE LIGHTNING CREW HAS BEATEN THE HOLY HELL OUT OF THE MAD CAPPA ONCE AGAIN, AND INFACT THIS BEATING WAS MORE VIOLENT THAN THE PREVIOUS ONE! Jesse: THE LIGHTNING CREW HAS PAID BACK THE MAD CRAPPA FOR ALL THOSE TIMES PRL HAS BEATEN THEM! THAT WAS FOR THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET! THAT WAS FOR ALL OF THAT! PLUS MORE! THE LIGHTNING CREW HAS JUST LAID THAT CRAPPA TO WASTE! WHAT A GREAT MOMENT IN LIGHTNING CREW HISTORY! IN OAOAST HISTORY!!! ::Puerto Rican Lightning poses and then gives the crowd the “UP YOURS!” sign. He sneers and then spits at The Mad Cappa. He slaps him in the face and rubs his blood across his chest. PRL picks up Cappa again and takes blood from his face and paints it on his face. He slaps him again and grabs the Puerto Rican Championship belt and raises it for the crowd to see. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL ignores the chants and laughs evilly. He trash talks the fans and then rips The Mad Cappa’s shirt off. He places it over his right shoulder and then tells Colombian Heat to go underneath the ring. Colombian Heat obliges as garbage continues being thrown into the ring.:: JR: Now what are they doing? Jesse: I haven’t the slightest idea what, but whatever it is, it doesn’t look good for The Mad Cappa. JR: Colombian Heat is now searching underneath the ring for something. He found a toolbox. What would he do with a toolbox? Jesse: I think I know what? Remember the nWo? JR: Oh no. You don’t mean. ::The Lightning Crew all pose and jaw with the fans in the ring with The Mad Cappa lying on the mat in the center. Colombian Heat smiles evilly and enters the ring with the toolbox. He opens it up to reveal two spray-paint cans in it. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS!” as Colombian Heat grabs one of the spray-paint cans and shakes it. The crowd boos even louder as Colombian Heat smiles evilly and hands the spray-paint can over to PRL. He laughs as Colombian Heat, Vitamin X, and Thomas Rodriguez hold Cappa in place.:: Jesse: The Lightning Crew are going to brand The Mad Cappa! JR (disgusted): This is making me sick. How dare The Lightning Crew go so low! Jesse: I love this, Jim Ross! ::Tha Puerto Rican spray-paints “LC 4-LIFE” and “PRL” in black on The Mad Cappa’s body.:: Jesse: And now, the icing on the cake! :.R. kicks Cappa in the stomach causing him to roll over. The crowd boos loudly as P.R. puts the spray-paint can away and grabs the other spray-paint can. Tha Puerto Rican shakes the can and spray-paints a yellow line across The Mad Cappa’s back. He then spray-paints “COWARD” on Cappa’s back and “CAPPA SUX” and “LOSER” on Cappa’s back. He spits in Cappa’s face and then poses with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. The crowd boos loudly. PRL sneers at the crowd and jaws with them. The Lightning Crew pose in the ring with The Mad Cappa behind them, face-first on the mat, breathing heavily, unconscious, and bleeding profusely. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds starts playing in the arena as The Lightning Crew pose in the ring with garbage being thrown in their direction.:: JR: THOSE NO GOOD BASTARDS!!! THEY COULD HAVE JUST CAUSED THE MAD CAPPA HIS CAREER!!! DAMN YOU PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! BAWD GAWD DAMN YOU PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! DAMN YOU P.R.!!! DAMN YOU!!! Jesse: EASY J.R.! EASY!!! THEY JUST SOFTENED THE MAD CAPPA UP FOR THE ANGLEMANIA III MATCH!!! JR: BUT IS THAT MATCH EVEN GOING TO TAKE PLACE? WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED MAY HAVE JUST JEOPARDIZED THAT MATCH!!! Jesse: Hey! If it gets The Mad Cappa off PRL’s back, then everything’s okay. JR: AW, KISS MY ASS JESS! THA PUERTO RICAN SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE! THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH HAS JUST ATTACKED THE MAD CAPPA AND BRUTALLY ATTACKED HIM ONCE AGAIN! I DON’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW! THAT WAS GROTUEQSUE! THAT WAS BLOODIED! THAT WAS BRUTAL! I DON’T BELIEVE WHAT I SAW! THAT WAS TERRIBLE! ::The camera cuts to The Mad Cappa lying on the mat. Bloodied and spray-painted. The crowd boos loudly as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds continues playing. Garbage is thrown in the ring and The Lightning Crew pose in the ring with Puerto Rican Lightning in the center with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. PRL grabs the contract and then grabs the pen and stabs Mad Cappa repeatedly with the pen. He then uses the pen to soak in Cappa’s blood from his head and then signs the contract again with Mad Cappa’s blood. He drops Cappa’s head on the mat and sneers.:: JR: What a sick, sick man! A sick man! Jesse: He maybe a sick man, but he may have just prevented his match against Mad Cappa at AngleMania III. JR: Is Cappa even able to compete? Will he be ready to fight in time for OaOasT AngleMania III?! Jesse: Hopefully not. JR: HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL? THAT DAMN PRL HAS JUST COMMITTED A BRUTAL CRIME! THAT EVIL BASTARD HAS JUST DONE SOMETHING WRETCHED!!! DAMN HIM!!! DAMN YOU PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! DAMN YOUR SOUL TO HELL!!! ::The Lightning Crew poses in the ring with Mad Cappa lying on the mat. Puerto Rican Lightning is in the center of the ring posing with the Puerto Rican Championship belt.:: ::The OaOasT logo flashes by on the screen. The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen. Cut back to Jim Ross in the announcer’s table.:: JR: Earlier tonight, PRL held a mock funeral for The Mad Cappa’s career, promising victory at AngleMania. Rumors have it that The Mad Cappa was injured following the chokeslam through the table, and has suffered a vast loss of blood. PRL stabbing Cappa’s forehead with a pen did not help matters, concerning Mad Cappa. Cappa has yet to make an appearance tonight, and now it is the main event. Lightning Crew member Spanish Fly takes on OaOasT newcomer C.W. McLooza. McLooza is making his debut tonight and it is against one of the LC’s best. The countdown to AngleMania III continues, let’s take it to the ring for the main event! *DING DING DING* ::Cut to the ring with Gary Michael Cappatetta. The crowd cheers loudly as GMC begins to speak.:: Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is the main event of this week’s IntenseZone and is scheldued for one fall with a one-hour time limit. Introducing first, already in the ring. From Paris, Texas, weighing in at 140 lbs. He is making his OaOasT debut, C.W. MCLOOOOOZAAAAAA!!! ::Mild applause for the newcomer. McLooza waves his hands to the crowd and smiles. He is a small white male who is bald with blue eyes. He wears a singlet and boots. He smiles and stands in the ring.:: JR: C.W. McLooza, hoping to make an impact in the OaOasT. He will have to take on one of The Lightning Crew’s best, Spanish Fly, who is making his return to the ring tonight. ::A deep, slow voiced man saids "LIGHTNING". The crowd boos very, very loudly as the AngleTron shows Spanish Fly's picture on it, letting the fans know he is coming out. The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron as the lights go out in the arena. Smoke fills up the entrance as the crowd waits for Spanish Fly to come out. Finally, Spanish Fly comes through the curtain to boos. He looks at the crowd and jaws with them a bit as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds continues to play. The lights go back in the arena as Spanish Fly makes his way to the ring.:: GMC: And his opponent, making his way to the ring. From Tijuana, Mexico. Weighing in at 199 lbs. Representing The Lightning Crew. SPANISH FLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! JR: Spanish Fly is wrestling his second OaOasT match. He first match was against The Mad Cappa in the first part of The Lightning Crew Gauntlet back in December. He lost that match and The Mad Cappa was able to move on and eventually have a match against Puerto Rican Lightning for AngleMania III. Fly had to beg Lightning for forgiveness, which PRL accepted. Fly is now going to have a chance to redeem himself against C.W. McLooza. ::Spanish Fly jumps over the top rope and poses to loud boos as a single spotlight shines on him as “No Chance In Hell” continues to play. He flips the crowd off then jumps on a turnbuckle and poses some more. He jumps back down and bounces off the ropes doing some karate moves while waiting for his opponents. The crowd boos and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" Spanish Fly removes his t-shirt and throws it to the crowd as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds dies down.:: JR: Fly is a member of The Lightning Crew. The most sadistic group of wrestlers in the OaOasT today. Fly may just be just as psychotic and just as evil as his leader, Puerto Rican Lightning. But now it is main event time and Spanish Fly, who took part in the beatdown on Mad Cappa last night, will take on C.W. McLooza. *DING DING DING* Main Event: Spanish Fly vs. C.W. McLooza: Spanish Fly and C.W. McLooza circle each other to start as the crowd calms down. JR: And here we go with the main event for this week’s IntenseZone. Spanish Fly and C.W. McLooza lockup. Fly gets a waistlock, but McLooza reverses. C.W. goes for a German Suplex, but Spanish Fly stops that from happening and grabs C.W.’s head and gives him a rube bulldog. He goes for the cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! JR: Fly with the first cover of the match. Fly with a headlock on McLooza. C.W. pushes Spanish Fly off, and heads to the ropes, but Fly takes him down with a spinning wheel kick. JR: Spinning Wheel Kick! The cover! 1 Count! Spanish Fly and C.W. McLooza get up at the same time, but Fly takes C.W. down with a shoulder. Fly heads to the ropes, leaps over C.W., and gives him a dropkick to the knee. Spanish Fly then does a spinning legdrop and goes for the cover. JR: 1! 2! And McLooza kicks out just in the nick of time! The crowd starts to boo loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Fly tells the crowd to shut up and then kicks C.W. in the gut several times. Fly heads to the top rope and waits for C.W. to get up. JR: Fly is about to fly. What move will he use on McLooza? I wonder what it will be? Spanish Fly waits for C.W. to get up. When he does, Fly leaps off the top rope with a flying crossbody. It connects. 1… 2… Thre—NO!!! JR: And he kicked out right in time! Spanish Fly continues the assault, not allowing McLooza to get up. Spanish Fly heads to the ring apron. He waits for McLooza to get up while the crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Fly comes off the ropes with a springboard hurricarana on C.W. McLooza. He goes for the cover. It gets a two count. Fly applies an arm-bar on McLooza. JR: Spanish Fly dominating McLooza. But McLooza seems to be making the comeback. The crowd boos the Lightning Crew member as C.W. gets on one knee. C.W. lifts Fly up for a back suplex. JR: A Back Suplex! McLooza has just hit a back suplex on Spanish Fly! His first offense in this matchup! Cover! 1… 2… Thre—KICK OUT!!! C.W. McLooza whips Spanish Fly into the ropes, and follows with a dropkick to a face pop. C.W. applies an arm-bar on Fly. Fly quickly gets up and gets Irish Whip into the ropes. C.W. puts his head down, so Fly leaps over McLooza and goes for a sunset flip pin. It gets two. Fly and McLooza get up at the same time. Spanish Fly goes to kick C.W. McLooza, but McLooza grabs his right leg. However, Spanish Fly hits an enzuguri on the back of C.W.’s head to groans. C.W. crumples to the mat. JR: BAWD GAWD What an enzuguri! Spanish Fly with an amazing enzuguri on C.W. McLooza. What a move. Spanish Fly covers C.W. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! JR: Spanish Fly continues his assault. The crowd starts to boo loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Fly punches C.W. and then Irish Whips C.W. into a turnbuckle. Spanish Fly whips C.W. into another turnbuckle and he falls to the mat. McLooza lies on the mat as Spanish Fly heads to the top rope. JR: Spanish Fly heads to the top rope once again. What else does he have up his sleeve? Fly hits C.W. McLooza with a missile dropkick. He goes for the cover. 1… 2… Thre—KICK OUT!!! The crowd cheers. JR: The match continues. Spanish Fly has beaten and dominated McLooza for the majority of this contest, but he has yet to put him down long enough for a three count. Fly with a dropkick. Spanish Fly whips C.W. into a turnbuckle once again. Fly beats on C.W. in the turnbuckle while the crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Fly trash talks with the fans and spits in their direction. He flips the crowd off and hits C.W. with a right jab that sends him to the mat. As C.W. struggles to get up, Fly heads to the top rope. He clutches C.W.’s baldhead…and follows with a Tornado DDT to loud boos. The crowd boos loudly as C.W. lies on the mat, breathing hard and sweating. C.W. lies on the mat in pain breathing hard. JR: I think that Tornado DDT just took out the energy of both Spanish Fly and C.W. McLooza! These two men are on the mat. Spanish Fly slowly gets up, spitting in the crowd’s direction. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Fly slowly heads to the top rope. JR: Fly is once again at the top. He is now suffering from fatigued, but is still going to the top. I have a feeling that his next move may take all the energy out of him along with C.W. McLooza. Fly sneers at the crowd and flips them off. He does a 450 Splash on McLooza to loud boos. Fly smiles evilly. JR: A 450 Splash! A 450 Splash! Spanish Fly has just hit a 450 Splash on C.W. McLooza! And I think that one move may finish this match. This match could be over. The referee goes to count. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2 2/3 2 2/4 2.9999999999999 Thre---NO!!! C.W. McLooza kicks out at 2.9999999. JR: BUT WAIT! McLooza is still in this match-up. McLooza kicked out of the 450 Splash and this match will continue. Can McLooza do it? Can he pull the upset? Can he defeat Spanish Fly and make Spanish Fly’s OaOasT record 0-2? Or can the Lightning Crew member get his first victory in his OaOasT career? Spanish Fly becomes pissed. He jaws with the referee saying it was a slow count. He curses in Spanish and then attacks C.W. just as he gets up. JR: Spanish Fly is pissed off. And it does not look good for C.W. McLooza. Spanish Fly beats on C.W. and Irish Whips him into a turnbuckle. The crowd boos loudly as Fly puts C.W. on the turnbuckle. The crowd stands up and boos loudly as Fly kicks C.W. in the face several times, trash talking in between the kicks. JR: And it looks like we maybe seeing the end of the match. Spanish Fly looking for the Fly Swatter, giving C.W. McLooza his first lost in his first match in the OaOasT. Fly has C.W. on the ropes. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Fly positions C.W. on the top rope. Fly smiles evilly and then gets in front of McLooza and stands up on the second rope. He grabs his arms, yells, and leaps off the turnbuckle with the Fly Swatter (Unprettier from the top rope). The crowd groans. C.W. McLooza’s head bounces off the canvas and then falls face first. The crowd boos. JR: And there it is. The Fly Swatter! Spanish Fly’s finishing move! Can this be it? Can he do it? Spanish Fly covers C.W. McLooza to the crowds boos. JR: The cover. 1… 2… 3!!! *DING DING DING* JR: And this match is over! Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this contest, SPANISH FLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! ::”No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds starts playing over the sounds system. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The referee raises Spanish Fly’s arms up and then Fly takes them away and sneers. He trash talks to the crowd and flips them. He looks down at C.W. McLooza, who is still on the mat face down breathing hard in disgust. He spits in his face and then raises his arms once again to boos.:: JR: Spanish Fly gets his first win in the OaOasT taking on C.W. McLooza. McLooza put up a fight but in the end it was a Fly Swatter, which put him down on the mat for good. It is another victory for The Lightning Crew, who have been on a roll as of late since this past Sunday at Zero Hour: Night of the X. PRL may have lost the Super X Cup, but he took down The Mad Cappa one month before their big AngleMania III match. ::”No Chance In Hell” continues to play as Fly stands in the ring, watching C.W. trying to get up. Fly runs up to him and beats on C.W. to boos. He kicks C.W. down to the mat and chokes him with his right boot. The referee tries to stop him but Fly shoves him away and continues beating on him. The bell rings several times, but Fly still beats on C.W.:: JR: Now come on! That’s enough. Will somebody—will somebody please stop this? Come on ref, the match is over. Spanish Fly won, he doesn’t—he doesn’t have to continue beating on C.W. McLooza. McLooza is in pain. Stop this. ::C.W. continues getting beat on when the crowd’s boos become louder as Mr. Boricua, Vitamin X, Colombian Heat, Thomas Rodriguez, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Puerto Rican Lightning, wearing the “DIE, CAPPA, DIE” black t-shirt, blue baggy jeans, Puerto Rican flag bandana, gold chain, earring on the left ear and black sneakers enter the ring. They all laugh evilly as C.W. McLooza gets up and is brought down by a giant clothesline by Mr. Boricua. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and throw garbage into the ring, as The Lightning Crew beatdown on C.W. McLooza. They begin chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” PRL spits in the crowd’s direction and then has Colombian Heat and Vitamin X hold up C.W. McLooza. PRL smashes the Puerto Rican Championship belt across C.W.’s face. C.W. holds his head in pain, but is brought back up by PRL.:: JR: The Lightning Crew beating the hell out of C.W. McLooza. Just like The Lightning Crew did to The Mad Cappa Sunday at Zero Hour: Night of the X. They are on a roll and PRL is certainly more arrogant and cockier following what happened this past Sunday. ::”P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” chants are still heard as PRL and Vitamin X hold C.W. McLooza up for Heat. C.W. is dizzy, dazed and in pain as Colombian grabs both clocks around his neck and smashes them across C.W.’s face. Garbage is still thrown in the ring as Heat grabs C.W. and gives him the Colombian Necktie to boos. The Lightning Crew all pose in the ring to boos and “P.R. SUCKS!” chants, but PRL flips the crowd off, and jaws with the fans raising the Puerto Rican Championship belt and clear the ring of garbage. The Lightning Crew continues beating down on C.W. McLooza. Vitamin X picks up C.W. and gives him the X-Marks-The-Spot. He then applies the Lethal Injection as Colombian Heat heads to the top rope and hits the Straight From Da Street.:: JR: Will somebody please stop this!? The Lightning Crew is being allowed to do whatever they want and they are hurting this young man who is just starting his OaOasT career. The LC are dominating. ::Mr. Boricua grabs C.W. McLooza and clutches his neck with his right hand. Mr. Boricua lifts C.W. up and brings him down with a chokeslam. Boricua yells loudly, grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. C.W. shakes on the mat like he is having a seizure. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Puerto Rican Lightning orders The Lightning Crew to stand back.:: JR: This is a brutal attack. 6-on-1 and 7 if you count Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. ::Puerto Rican Lightning waits for C.W. McLooza to get up. The crowd continues booing and throwing garbage into the ring as PRL looks at C.W. psychotically and sneers. C.W. slowly gets up, nearly collapsing. Puerto Rican Lightning trash talks to McLooza, kicks him in the gut…and delivers the P.R. Nightmare on C.W. McLooza. Tha Puerto Rican gets up and yells. He laughs evilly and stares at the fallen C.W.:: JR: P.R. Nightmare! Could PRL be trying to send a message to The Mad Cappa? Could P.R. picture C.W. McLooza is The Mad Cappa? Could this be a preview of what is to come at AngleMania III on March 28th, if The Mad Cappa is not at 100%? Cappa is nowhere to be found, but The Lightning Crew does not care. They think they got the job done this past Sunday and are now attacking someone else for no reason! That damn Lightning Crew has struck once again! ::The Lightning Crew all shake hands and high five each other. Colombian Heat pulls something out of his sweat suit. He smiles evilly and reveals it to be a Mad Cappa mask. The crowd boos loudly and chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as PRL grabs the mask and spits on it. He places it on C.W. McLooza’s head and gives him another P.R. Nightmare.:: JR: And Tha Puerto Rican is now sending a message to The Mad Cappa. But no one knows where exactly he is. We have not seen The Mad Cappa since last Sunday, and he maybe injured. Tha Puerto Rican is confident, as we saw earlier tonight in that mock funeral, that he has finished off The Mad Cappa for good, and that there may not be an AngleMania III match. ::The crowd boos and chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” P.R. jaws with the fans and tells them that Cappa is not coming. He does the “UP YOURS!” hand sign and then spits in their direction. Colombian Heat grabs a spray-paint can from his warm-up jacket and spray-paints “PRL” on C.W.’s chest. PRL gives C.W. another P.R. Nightmare and then has Colombian Heat pick him up.:: JR: WILL THE LIGHTNING CREW PLEASE LEAVE THIS YOUNG MAN ALONE?! FOR GAWD SAKES, THIS MAN HAS TAKEN ENOUGH PUNISHMENT FROM THE LIGHTNING CREW! HE DOES NOT NEED THIS! HE DOES NOT NEED THIS AT ALL! THAT BASTARD, PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING IS PROUD OF WHAT HE HAS DONE! HE IS PROUD THAT HE ATTACKED THE MAD CAPPA LAST SUNDAY! HE IS PROUD THAT HE MAY HAVE INJURED HIM! IT MEANS THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE TO FIGHT HIM AT ANGLEMANIA III! ::Colombian Heat holds up C.W. McLooza, who is still wearing The Mad Cappa mask. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez slaps C.W., and then PRL punches him in the face. P.R. then gives him a third P.R. Nightmare. The crowd boos loudly and throws garbage into the ring. They chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” The Lightning Crew stand in the ring over the hurt C.W., who is lying on the mat back first with the Cappa mask on.:: JR: The fans are chanting for The Mad Cappa to come out! Will Cappa make an appearance? Will Cappa return? ::The Lightning Crew stand in the ring, when suddenly the lights go down in the arena. The opening trumpet blare causes the crowd to explode. PRL freaks out.:: JR: OH MY! DO YOU THINK? COULD IT BE? IS HE HERE?!!! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins playing. Spotlights circle the arena causing the crowd to stand up and cheer. Some even dance to the beat. They chant “GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA!” awaiting his appearance. Tha Puerto Rican freaks out, screaming and sweating awaiting Cappa to arrive. Mr. Boricua throws C.W. McLooza out of the ring.:: JR: THE MAD CAPPA’S MUSIC HIT AND WE ARE NOW WAITING FOR HIM TO ARRIVE! CAPPA IS HERE! CAPPA IS HERE! CAPPA IS HERE! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues to play. The crowd stands up waiting for Cappa to arrive. The spotlights stop and one spotlight appears in the entrance. The crowd stands up, but instead of Mad Cappa coming out, Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member come out through the curtain with a mannequin. The crowd’s boos become louder and louder as Puerto Rican Lightning laughs in the ring. He rolls around on the floor laughing as Wall and PROTOTYPE wheel the mannequin to the ring. The mannequin is white wearing a bloodied t-shirt, blue baggy shorts, white tennis sneakers, and a Mad Cappa mask. The Lightning Crew all laugh but the crowd boos loudly and throw garbage in the ring chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”:: JR: Oh no. This is ridiculous. This is just horrible. The Lightning Crew continues their pathetic actions. Fooling these fans into believing The Mad Cappa was here. It looks like The Mad Cappa in not in this building tonight. And now they’re doing this. Dressing up a mannequin as The Mad Cappa. The funeral wasn’t enough. They have to continue mocking him. They have to continue reveling in their evilness. The Lightning Crew have spent the entire night in control and it looks like it will continue. ::The Lightning all laugh evilly as Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member bring The Mad Cappa Mannequin into the ring. Colombian Heat dances to mock Cappa and so does PRL. The garbage continues piling up in the ring and the “P.R. SUCKS!” chants continue as Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE place The Mad Cappa Mannequin in the middle of the ring. “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool stops playing as P.R. acts like he is afraid of the mannequin. Colombian Heat gets into a fight position and slaps the mannequin’s head. The Lightning Crew laugh at the sight of the Cappa Mannequin.:: JR: Can somebody stop this? This is beyond wretched. The Lightning Crew are allowed to do whatever they want. The Mad Cappa is not anywhere near the building, so they can mock him and not be afraid to suffer the consequence. ::The crowd boos loudly and chant “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The chant continues as The Lightning Crew beat up on the mannequin. The crowd boos as they toss the mannequin all over the ring. P.R. gives The Mad Cappa Mannequin a P.R. Nightmare. Tha Puerto Rican grabs the microphone as The Lightning Crew pulls the mannequin back up and holds him in place. Vitamin X kicks the mannequin the “stomach” as the crowd boos. The Lightning Crew all smile and laugh evilly. They taunt the mannequin as PRL smiles evilly, checking the mannequin. He laughs and then speaks.:: JR: Now what? What are they doing now? Puerto Rican Lightning: YOU TELL HIM! COME ON TELL HIM! TELL HIM! TELL HIM THAT I’M THE MAN!!! TELL HIM THAT I AM THE GREATEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER THERE EVER WAS!!! MAD CRAPPA!!! YOU ARE NOT IN MY LEAGUE!!! ::The camera does a close-up of The Mad Cappa Mannequin. PRL puts the microphone to its face, and then continues speaking. The Lightning Crew all take shots at the mannequin while PRL continues speaking.:: PRL: IF YOU ARE LUCKY AND ARE ABLE TO MAKE IT TO ANGLEMANIA 100%, IF YOU CAN EVEN MAKE IT TO ANGLEMANIA, YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE MOST ELECTRFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!! AT ANGLEMANIA III, INFRONT OF 74,000 IN THE PONTIAC SILVERDOME, I WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH A MIGHTY FIST!!! I WILL MAKE YOU BLEED ONCE AGAIN!!! I WILL BRING YOU DOWN WITH THE P.R. NIGHTMARE!!! I WILL MAKE ANGLEMANIA A NIGHT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET!!! MARCH 28TH!!! PONTIAC SILVERDOME!!! DETROIT, MICHIGAN!!! YOU!!! ME!!! PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!!! I WILL BEAT YOU AND END YOUR CAREER!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING WILL MAKE HISTORY ON MARCH 28TH, AND I WILL DO SO BY MAKING SURE YOU NEVER EVER FORGET THE NAME, PUERTO….RICAN…LIGHTNING!!! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH, RUTH!!! JR: A vile, hateful, bittered, cynical, cocky, arrogant, overconfident, evil, psychotic human being, Puerto Rican Lightning is all that and more. He is the most hideous person I’ve ever seen. He is evil personified. This psychotic bastard brings pain and misery to all who have come in his way. And I for one can’t wait until AngleMania III on March 28th, to see PRL get what he deserves! But no one knows where Mad Cappa is. He has not been seen since last Sunday and it puts the AngleMania match in question. ::Puerto Rican Lightning slaps the mannequin’s head. He punches the mannequin’s head and then shoves it down to the mat. The Lightning Crew beat on The Mad Cappa Mannequin as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds starts playing. The crowd boos loudly, louder than usual, and throws garbage into the ring, chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican poses with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. He flips the crowd off and jaws with them. He looks at the Cappa Mannequin and laughs evilly. The Lightning Crew all stand in the center of the ring and raise their arms in victory. PRL poses in the center. He smiles with a psychotic look and laughs evilly. Tha Puerto Rican sneers at the crowd as “No Chance In Hell” continues to play. The crowd boos loudly and throws garbage into the ring, chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The Lightning Crew all jaw with the fans and then stand in the center of the ring posing once again. The camera cuts to the fallen mannequin and does a close-up of The Mad Cappa mask.:: JR: Well, we end the show with The Lightning Crew on top once again! These superstars have been on a roll since last Sunday and look to not be stopping anytime soon. Thanks for tuning in tonight. I am “Good Ol’ JR” Jim Ross saying goodnight and I have to ask the question that everyone is thinking: Where is The Mad Cappa? Come back Mad Cappa! Wherever you are! We need you! Come back Mad Cappa!!! COME BACK!!! ::The Lightning Crew all pose in the center of the ring. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and throws garbage into the ring. Colombian Heat beats on the mannequin until he has to be pulled back by Puerto Rican Lightning and reminded that the mannequin is not real and not the actual Mad Cappa. The LC takes shots at the fallen mannequin. The last image is of The Lightning Crew standing in the ring, smiling and laughing evilly as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds continues playing.:: ::FADE OUT::
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For the second time in 3 weeks, the ring is covered in red carpeting for this very special occasion. A mini-cage is in the ring where a STRIPPER is dancing. A giant banner hangs above the IZtron -- ANGLESAULT B-DAY EXTRAVAGANZA! The theme from "Happy Days" plays, as streamers, balloons and red, white and blue confiti fall onto the crowd. Fireworks BLAST from nearly every position -- ringposts, jumbotron, the lighting rigs. T-Bod walks to the ring, wearing custom-made sunglasses, a bandage on his forehead, dressed in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, throwing t-shirts reading: "I survived Anglesault's B-Day Extravaganza!" JR T-Bod looks like an outcast from "Average Joe 2: Hawai" -- JESSE Except he never gets rejected. JR (CONT'D) ...dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, prehaps trying to take attention away from the bandage he's sportin' after the ass-kickin' he received at the hands of Anglesault a few nights ago on The Body Shop at Zero Hour. If you didn't see Zero Hour, I strongly recommend you order the replay, what a night of action it was. The only type of action you'll see from the OAOAST. Of course, next month's pay-per-view event is the Super Bowl of E-Fed entertainment -- AngleMania III on March 28. Call your cable or satellite provider to order now. You can also pre-order the webcast at OAOAST.com. Order in the next two hours and receive the official AngleMania t-shirt and program guide, only those attending AM III will get to buy a piece of history; these won't be available in stores. TONY Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you tonight as Tony. Tonight's a very special night, calling for me to break character. JR To him, breaking character is slandering somebody's elses good name. TONY (CONT'D) We are gathered here today to celebrate the birthday -- no, not Jesus' -- this man is even more important than the big man upstairs. JR Gimme a break. This is already absured. TONY (CONT'D) As a matter of fact, this man deserves his own holiday so we can take our children downtown where we can burn this man's t-shirts, video games, hardware products, and of course...his clothing line. We are here to celebrate the birthday of the so-called Mr. OAOAST -- but we all know it's yours truely -- Anglesault. The crowd cheers. TONY (waving to the crowd) Thank you, I knew you people -- my people -- think of me as the real Mr. OAOAST. JR They were cheering for Anglesault, the two-time OAOAST champion, Mr. OAOAST, and the man who's gonna kick you ass Sunday night, March 28 at AngleMania III, jackass. TONY As you can see, I have provided the entertainment (pointing towards the stripper's cage) for tonight's party. But it gets better. Oh yes. You see, using my connections at E! Entertainment Television, I executived produced a very special "E!: True Hollywood Stories" about our guest of honor, who's hiding backstage to avoid the ass-whippin' he'll received if he brings his ass out here. Anglesault, I forgive you. I know you must be watching the show in a runned-down motel, but put your hand (pointing his hand towards the camera) on the television screen and feel my sorrow. Without any further ado, I give you "Anglesault, the E!: True Hollywood Story". Various rapid-fire pictures of AS as a toddler, teen and current form, mixed in with home footage and OAOAST footage. NARRATOR Born Hubert F. Angle, the "F" is for Fuck, to the unproud parents, who refused to allow their names to be used due to the shame Anglesault has brought to the family, everyone knew this ugly baby would one day walk the earth as the leader of a wannabe street gang called the aWo. What you don't know is the True Hollywood Story of a shy man who used his love for wrestling and idol Tony "The Body" to break into the E-Fed Entertainment business by co-creating his own company. This is E's True Hollywood Story: Anglesault -- "The little asshole who could." The opening of THS flashes onscreen. NARRATOR Growing up idolizing international wrestling and movie star Tony "The Body," (footage of Tony with a Ric Flairesque 1980s hairdo), Anglesault seeked out his idol. From the start AS bugged the handsome Tony. OAOAST co-creator Tony "The Body". TONY This kid kept coming up to me saying how great I was, I was his hero, etc. Quite frankly I wanted to throw him into oncoming traffic. NARRATOR OAOAST Co-creator CWM. CWM 'Sault is an asshole. NARRATOR Friend and foe, Stephen Joseph aka "Big Poppa Popick." STEPHEN (from OAOAST/aWo feud angle) AS is an asshole. NARRATOR HeldDown consultant, and the name who defeated AS for the OAOAST title at AngleMania II, Zack Malibu. CAMERAMAN'S VOICE Just say 'asshole' Zack. ZACK (in a rush to get inside arena) Asshole. (clip job) Anglesault -- asshole. P.S. HeldDown -- sucks -- hard! Dan -- Black -- rocks! Word. NARRATOR In the spring of 2002, like he always has, AS whined about not getting a elected as one of four Moderator spots for well-known forum TSM. His whining lead to newly elected Mod Tony to make a historic ruling. TONY He kept bitching so I came up with the OAOAST idea. NARRATOR With the help of fellow board member CWM, the OAOAST was officially launched on April 7th, 2002. It was an instant success. TONY I knew with me onboard this ship was gonna sail. NARRATOR The summer of 2002 saw the OAOAST hit hard times. With constant reports of favoritism going on, Tony stepp down as OAOAST Executive Producer in March 2003, naming AS as his successor. TONY I took the hit for things that were not my fault, and I did make mistakes -- very few I might add. Despite never doing anything in the front office, I thought AS would be the perfect guy to represent the OAOAST and smoothe the waves the company was facing. So I resigned and took a position as Executive Consultant to the OAOAST. Instead his role as Executive Producer was nothing more than a figurehead position. He let guys like Zack Malibu and Dan Black do all his work while he was at the beach or sticking thumbtacks to his Jeff Weaver baseball card. NARRATOR In the spring of 2003 the OAOAST branched off into two brands to milk the money the company was making. Later that year IZ hit rock bottom. AS, not caring about what was going on with the OAOAST, let his contract with HeldDown expire and unofficially retired. Zack Malibu and Stephen Joseph were promoted to Executive Producers, as was Dan Black in late 2003 for his efforts trying to revive IZ. In early 2004 Dan Black approached Tony about the idea of signing Anglesault to a contract. TONY When Dan told me the idea I was jacked. This would of given IZ the start it needed to combat the train known as HeldDown. NARRATOR In Feburary 2004 AS turned down IZ's contract, which angered Tony. TONY I mean, who the hell did this guy think he was. IZ needed help and Dan Black told him to name his price. Hell, he was using HeldDown's check book so we couldn't give a shit how much he wanted. So I beat him. My good close personal friend Sean Connery once told me there was no way he would do other James Bond movie because there were only two things he ever wanted -- a golf course and a bank. He has the golf course and he's made so much money, he's a walking bank. I may have beaten him up, but at AngleMania I'm taking his pride. NARRATOR At AngleMania III, T-Bod vs. Anglesault. In a world where loyalty is considered a joke, one man will stand up to the evils this world holds, that name is T-Bod. A real friend. A true American. The crowd boos as the True Hollywood Story ends. JR That was just sad. No surprise it was totally one-sided. TONY 'Sault, you heard me say I'm going to take your pride at AM, that's only a little warning. Let me show you something. Please make you attention towards the IZtron. OAOAST Championship Match TheSoleSurvivor vs. Anglesault (Champion) COURTESY: ANGLESLAM May 26, 2002 OAOAST Home Entertainment TheSoleSurvivor runs back at AS and gives him the CLOTHELINE OF ALMOST CERTAIN DOOM~! AS flips in mid-air. TSS flexs his muscles to the crowed. He picks up AS and starts to punch him over to the edge of the cell. AS is on the edge of the cell, barely standing. TSS backs up and positions himself for another CLOTHSLINE OF ALMOST CERTAIN DOOM. He runs at AS, but AS flips him over! TSS goes flying off the cell, and crashes through the other announce table! AS puts his hands up in victory. Paramedics run over to TSS and race him off into the back. Winner: Still OAOAST World Champion, AngleSault! The crowed is going nuts, when all of a sudden AP comes out of the back. He looks up at AS and AS looks down at him. AP gets into the ring, and starts climbing up to AS! The crowed doesn't know what to think. When AP reaches the top of the cell, the two look each other dead in the eyes. AP reaches his hand out to AS. AS shakes AP's hand, and the two do the aWo sign As the two hug, ropes fall down behind them, and down come two masked men Angleplex notices at the last second and tries to warn a battered Anglesault, but as Anglesault ducks a clothesline by MASKED MAN #1, the clothesline connects with Angleplex. AS forgets about Masked Man #2, and MM2 locks in a TaZZmission and pulls AS to the edge of the cage. In a move soon to be called the SYNCHRONICITY BOMB, MM2 turns the TaZZmission suplex, throwing AngleSault down to the ground. The Masked Man reaches for his mask and pulls it off. The crowd gasps, its BIG POPPA POPICK! End tape. TONY AS abused our mother-ship, IZ. You don't abuse women unless it's a matter of life or death. If you thought that fall was bad, wait 'til you see what I do to AS at AngleMania. AS, we're 26 days away from meeting at your Stairway to...Hell! And I'm going to enjoy watchin' your flesh burn. Our mothership will be avenged. 26 days. 26 days! JR My God! What could he have in store that would would top the Stairway to Heaven fall. "Dream On" cues up. The crowd is on the edge of their seats. A large BROWN TIP crashes through the IZtron. It's ANGLESAULT drving... THE OSCAR MYER WEINERMOBILE! JR I'll be damned if this isn't the most exciting thing I've ever been apart of. The Weinermobile slams against the ring, cause the front half of the ring to cave in. The stripper cage falls (stripper included) to the arena floor. The caving in of the ring sends Tony crashing face first into the tip of the Weinermobile. A little dazed, Tony notices his sunglasses have broken. He looks like he wants to cry. A hand taps his shoulder, he turns around and gets rocked with a right hand. AS slams him across the ringpost before hitting the ANGLESLAM on the stripper cage, denting it. JR (chuckling) Fans, I've seen it all now. This is the OAOAST! ANGLESAULT Oh, and one more thing T-Bone... (A Fan screams T-BOD) ANGLESAULT Are you fucking kidding me? Do us all a favor and leave now and play Russian Roulette with an uzi. (Crowd ROARS) ANGLESAULT Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Tony, you pathetic disco hold over, there is no such thing as a "Stairway to Hell." The FUCK? I know you're not original or clever or witty, but damnit, man, you just confused Zeppelin with AC/DC! My MOM doesn't do that! (Big reaction) ANGLESAULT It seems I'm gonna have to relate a bit better to you, Tony. So, DANCING QUEEN, I'll just leave you with his one little warning. Anglemania III. 26 days from now. The dead won't be rising. But 100, 000 other people will be there to watch me dance all over your face! AS throws packs of weiners into the cage. He then goes back into the Weinermobile and takes out a limited edition AngleMania III lunchbox (order it today!), climps on top of the WeinerMobile and pulls out a couple of Hotdogs with everything on it, from the lunchbox, and takes a bit while celebrating ontop of the Weinermobile. Which sends the crowd into a stunning redition of the Oscar Myer jingle while "Dream On" continues playing in the background. JR If I were an Oscar Myer weiner... Happy birthday Anglesault. Oh, hell yeah! COMMERCIALS
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::A trumpet blares. The planet Earth is shown. The camera zooms in on the United States. The camera zooms in on Detroit, Michigan. The camera does a bird’s-eye view of the CGI Detroit before zooming in on the Pontiac Silverdome. The camera zooms into the inside of the domed stadium. “Fight” plays as spotlights circle the Silverdome. A close-up is shown of the CGI ring. Finally, there is a shot at the top of the CGI Silverdome. Fireworks explode from the ring, and spotlights shine on the OaOasT AngleMania III logo. The OaOasT AngleMania III logo stands in the center of the ring as spotlights shine on it. A small ticker is placed underneath the logo. All together it saids “OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III 27 DAYS AWAY.” Fireworks explode again as “Fight” stops playing.::
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JR Welcome back! I'm glad to be joined once again by Jesse Ventura! JESSE Thanks, Jim Ross. With Dan Black in the state he is, I can come and go as I like! JR It's good to have you here. I was a little scared by Dan, I don't mind admitting. JESSE You always were a coward, Jim Ross! A skinny bald man stands in the corner of the ring having had no ring introduction) JR: C.W. McLooza making his Intense Zone debut tonight folks Jesse: Is he really here to wrestler or was he one of the catering crew? (lights go dim and a guitar riff begins to play. Just as the music hits “Here I am!” the Blurricane pops up in the entrance way. The crowd gets to their feet and pops big time as the lyrics “Rock you like a Hurricane!” follow. Hurricane proceeds to the ring) JR: It was only one week ago that Blurricane got involved in new comer Scott Lunde’s match for the North American Title Jesse: Let’s be honest JR. Blurricane cost Lunde the match. (Blurricane enters the ring, removes his cape and the bell rings to start the match) Blurricane and McLooza tie up to start. Blurricane whips McLooza into the ropes and hits him with a dropkick. Blurricane picks McLooza up to his feet and snap suplex him. McLooza rolls out of the ring and reaches around to the small of his back. The crowd begins shouting at McLooza and he responds by shouting back. Blurricane takes the opportunity, bounces off the ropes, runs to the other side and does a sommersault plancha over the top rope nailing C.W. The crowd goes hysterical over the high flying move. Blurricane rolls C.W. McLooza back into the ring and proceeds to climb to the top rope. JR: What’s he gonna do here? Jesse: This is how mistakes happen JR Blurricane stays perched on the top rope and awaits C.W. McLooza to stand up. As McLooza gets to his feet dazed Blurricane jumps from the top and hits the Blurred Reality! The fans go nuts and as Blurricane covers McLooza the fans get ready to chant the count along with the ref. 1 2 3!!! (The sounds of The Scorpions once again fill the auditorium and Blurricane rolls out of the ring and heads back up the aisle) JR: That poor kid didn’t stand a chance Jesse: Looks like its time for him to go back to setting up the buffet for the real wrestlers JR…wait a minute, what’s he doing up here? (Blurricane strikes a pose on the top edge of the rampway near the two broadcasters and points out to the fans) JR: He’s just having a little fun with the fans Jesse (Blurricane begins to go to the otherside) Jesse: He won his match, he should head to the back now and show some respect (As Blurricane stands on the edge of the opposite side Scott Lunde comes running out wearing his trunks and a black t-shirt) JR: What the hell is he doing? (Blurricane continues to admonish the fans unaware of Lunde’s presence. Lunde grabs Blurricane by his tights and collar and proceeds to throw him off the stage! Blurricane lands hard on the production table below that holds wires, water bottles, and other junk. The table breaks and the items fly into the air and scatter, some landing on Blurricane) JR: Bah Gawd! That sick bastard just threw Blurricane 12 feet down to a table and concrete (Lunde stands there for a moment admiring his work and then walks back with a large grin on his face. Paramedics pass him with a stretcher and make their way down to Blurricane where they begin to prep him and load him ont to the gurney) JR: That man is going to have hell to pay! Jesse: Blurricane just learned an important lesson JR. You don’t stick your nose into the affairs of other people. JR: Regardless what he did, you don’t treat another human being like that! (Fade to commercial as the paramedics wheel Blurricane to the back on the stretcher)
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PRL
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As we return, Gary Cappetta is in the ring, preparing to announce the next match, when- the lights go out. JR What the- Cue: "Quiet" The fans buzz in excitement in the dark... JR That's Dan's music- but he can't be here, BAH GAWD! HE TOOK A SLEDGE TO THE HEAD! A white spotlight falls on the entranceway. The music cuts- and Dan Black appears. The crowd gasps at his appearance. The usually suave Dan does not wear his regular sharp suit, but a long black robe, hood up obscuring most of his face. Black walks down to the ring in silence, the spotlight following him. Dan enters the ring and takes a microphone. For a moment we hear nothing but his breath. JR This is spooking me! I'm glad Jesse will be hear soon! BLACK So...I lost... Fans cheer, but most are listening attentively. BLACK Into the cold I went...not the first time...sure as hell won't be the last...like ice...stabbing... JR What? Dan isnt making any sense! BLACK Shattered ice...the glass...cutting...blood reflections....in my eyes... JR This isn't right! He should still be in hospital! Dan shakes his head suddenly, and with the spotlight still on him, lifts his hood. A huge bruise covers the left side of his face where Stephen's sledge shot connected. Hundreds of tiny cuts run all over his cheeks, nose, forehead from the smashed glass inside the freezer. JR MAH GAWD! BLACK Look upon this, Stephen. Look upon your work. The shattered glass- so many versions of my own face- so many eyes- so much blood- the freezer... JR Dan Black is in a bad way! Being locked in that freezer, battered, bloody, with only his own broken reflection to look at- it has to have taken some deep psychological harm! BLACK But though you confined me, stole from me...its not over. You know that. Anglemania awaits us both. This - will - be - history. Strike one to you, Stephen. Strike two will be the blow that ends this. And by my hand, so I shall strike you down. For if you thought the freezer would unhinge Dan Black- oh my Stephen, where you ever wrong. You didnt unhinge Dan Black. You UNLEASHED him. Dan throws down the mic and reaches into a pocket of the robe. His hand comes out with a shard of mirror. Black holds it up, gazing at his gruesome reflection, before taking on edge and running it down the side of his face slowly, blood springing under the glass. JR Oh my god... Black grins maniacally, his face shaking. Dan slips the mirror back into his robe, and throws back his head in the spotlight, blood welling down over his neck, covering half his face. The spotlight vanishes. The crowd is silent. JR Mah gawd...
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PRL
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Ok, this weeks show is up early for a change, I had everything except PRLs stuff so I thought it may as well go up. I'll do some feed when its complete. The next show is for after Zero Hour. All booking for that in here.
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The One and Only Smackdown! HCTP Thread
Mystery Eskimo replied to Insane Bump Machine's topic in Video Games
The elimination chamber has become my favourite match...giving someone a frogsplash off the top of the chamber is great. Although watching Kevin Nash climb to the top and just randomly jump off with an elbow, then land on his head like an idiot, is even better. -
The One and Only Smackdown! HCTP Thread
Mystery Eskimo replied to Insane Bump Machine's topic in Video Games
The elimination chamber has become my favourite match...giving someone a frogsplash off the top of the chamber is great. Although watching Kevin Nash climb to the top and just randomly jump off with an elbow, then land on his head like an idiot, is even better. -
What a great manager Joe Kinnear is. We're not lucky at all. Not one bit.
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Dan Black will be talking about the fallout from the Zero Hour Artic Freezer match. With the next PPV being ANGLEMANIA~!, let's make this a great month of shows. If anyone has any ideas of special events or matches we could do in the run up to AM, bring them on.
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WWE Happy With "New Style" Approach
Mystery Eskimo replied to EdwardKnoxII's topic in The WWE Folder
I think the WWE management is very wary of letting anyone try anything new for fear it might upset the established workers, who are already on top so dont feel the need to add to their movesets. Instead of just sending guys like Matt Morgan down to OVW to work the same style of match over and over, give him a pile of Japanese wrestling tapes, and make him watch them until he's got 10 new holds he can use. -
IntenseCredits Tony FrigidSoul Mystery Dan Stephen Joseph PRL
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We open on a darkened room. A shadow enters. In one corner of the room is a huge box like object. The camera zooms in, as the light comes up a little. The man is Dan Black. The box is the immense industrial freezer which will be used at Zero Hour in the Artic Freezer match. The top of the freezer is encrusted with ice. Wearing his usual sharp suit, Dan slides a finger along the ice, and shivers, a look of twisted pleasure on his face, as the camera pans in on his cold, bitter grey eyes... BOOM! BOOM! BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMABOOM! PYRO~! The lights go up on another packed out crowd, as we go live on air with another edition of: Cue: Some generic cowboy music Good ol' JR, Jim Ross, comes walking down the aisle! JR waves to the fans who respond lethargically, before heading over to the announce table. JR Good evening, ladies and gentleman! I got myself an entrance! You like that? I thought so! Surveys have shown I am the number one attraction on IntenseZone! BAH GAWD! It's true! I asked my wife! Folks, we're just a few days away from Zero Hour, and what an event that will be! Tonight we have been promised the Adrenalin Title on the line, plus the final leg of the Lightning Crew gauntlet, and- hey, let's head backstage for another announcement! (Show moves to Dan Black’s office where he’s meeting with Scott Lunde) Dan: Hi Scott, what can I do for Intense Zone’s newest superstar? Scott: I’ll tell you what you can do, you can give me a title shot tonight. I’m not going to sit around and wait months for what I know I can take. Dan: Fine, I did promise you your shot if you came here. Tonight I’ll give you a chance to become the new OAOAST North American Champion. Now get out of my office, I’m a busy man. Scott: Whatever you say boss (Scott leaves the office with a cocky grin and walks down the hall back to his dressing room unaware that OAOASTimes Ace Reporter Gary Holmes was eavesdropping on the whole thing.) JR Shuffle vs Scott Lunde, here in this very ring! Lunde wasting no time in getting into it with the IntenseZone stars! Can he win a title in his very first match? And what was Gary Holmes doing back there?! It beats me folks, so let's head to the ring!
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JR: Main event time on IntenseZone! ::A deep, slow voiced man saids "LIGHTNING CREW". The AngleTron lights up with an image of Puerto Rican Lightning on it. The crowd boos the moment his face is shown. The image of a smiling PRL changes to another image of PRL raising the Puerto Rican Championship belt after a match. The crowd continues booing waiting for Puerto Rican Lightning to show up. As the AngleTron shows image after image of PRL, music is being played in the background. The music is slow and mellow sounding like the opening to a classical song. A man whispers the words "Chance" throughout the opening. On the AngleTron, the image changes to an image of PRL choked up. Follow by PRL being very very angry. Follow by PRL crying. Finally, the last image is of Puerto Rican Lightning smiling in a psychotic matter. The music swells, the crescendo hits, the AngleTron switches to a waving Puerto Rico flag with, in big white blocky letters, LIGHTNING CREW appearing in front of it. A lightning bolt hits the entrance. Fog fills up the entrance as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds begins playing. The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron as the crowd boos waiting for PRL to arrive.:: JR: Puerto Rican Lightning is now making his appearance, as the main event of this week’s IntenseZone is about to begin. Tha Puerto Rican announced earlier tonight that he will be facing The Mad Cappa at AngleMania III for the Puerto Rican Championship, and this Sunday at Zero Hour, we will be seeing the contract signing for that event. ::The crowd chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" until finally, Puerto Rican Lightning steps through the fog and smoke and the flickering lights, and smiles evilly. The crowd boos PRL loudly, chanting "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" but PRL does not listen. He laughs, looks at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Mr. Boricua, then orders them to walk with him to the ring. Puerto Rican Lightning walks cool and cocky to the ring as "No Chance In Hell" continues to play.:: *DING DING DING* Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is the main event of this week’s IntenseZone and is scheldued for one fall, and is for the Puerto Rican Championship. Introducing first, coming down the aisle at this time, accompanying to the ring by the First Lady of the Lightning Crew, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and his bodyguard, Mr. Boricua, weighing 223lbs. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. He is the Puerto Rican Champion. The leader of The Lightning Crew, PUERTO RICANNNNNN LIGHTNIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! JR: Tha Puerto Rican will be defending his Puerto Rican Championship against an unnamed opponent this week. Fans have been wondering whom PRL will bring out this week, but if the past is any indication, he will most likely bring out someone who is in no threat to his title. ::The crowd continues booing Puerto Rican Lightning, some even throwing garbage in his direction. PRL jaws with some fans at ringside and flips them off. He laughs evilly, then steps onto the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. He enters the ring, and spins around soaking in the jeers, and revealing in the hatred the fans feel for him. PRL laughs evilly, and talks about how great he is, then does the HBK-pose while pyro fires up behind him and Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stand behind him smiling evilly and holding the Puerto Rican Championship for the fans to see. PRL laughs evilly as the crowd boos loudly and chant "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" Puerto Rican Lightning laughs and grabs the Puerto Rican Championship belt and then gets on the top rope and poses, receiving nothing but boos. PRL flips the crowd off then heads to another turnbuckle, where a single spotlight shines on him. He poses a'la The Rock, and again receives boos. The crowd chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" but PRL just sneers at the crowd as "No Chance In Hell" by Lloyd & Boyd continues playing. PRL jaws with the fans, then jumps off the top rope and stands in the ring, as the lights go back on in the arena, and the fans chant "P.R. SUCKS!" "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds dies down. The crowd still chants and PRL still trash talks.:: JR: We also found out earlier tonight, that Puerto Rican Lightning will be competing in the Super X Cup Tournament this Sunday at Zero Hour. He will be taking on Black Diamond in the First Round, and if PRL is able to survive he will bring the X Cup home to IntenseZone. But his chance at winning maybe ruined, since he will also be signing the contract for the match against Mad Cappa at AngleMania III at Zero Hour. PRL’s mind maybe on The Mad Cappa this Sunday, and that may hinder his chance of winning this Sunday. ::PRL grabs a microphone and stands in the ring. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Mr. Boricua exit with the Puerto Rican Championship belt. The crowd boos very loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Lightning sneers at the crowd and trash talks to them. He saids something in Spanish as the crowd points to an anti-PRL sign in the crowd.:: JR: The crowd is not being kind to Puerto Rican Lightning. ::PRL begins to finally speak.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: Well, here I am, in the main event of this week’s IntenseZone, defending MY Puerto Rican Championship. The question I’m sure all of you are asking is who did I pick to defend my belt against? Who, in the thousands upon thousands of wrestlers today, did I pick to go head-to-head with the P.R. Menace on this week’s IZ? Since, I have a heavy plate this Sunday, and for the next month or so, I decided that tonight would be my last relaxed night, and because of this, I decided to defend my Puerto Rican Championship against someone who, quite frankly, wouldn’t be a risk to my reign. Someone who wouldn’t make me work so hard. To call this person an enhancement talent is a little harsh, but…that’s basically who this person is. ::The crowd boos.:: JR: PRL could end The Mad Cappa’s career once and for at AngleMania III. It’s a Career vs. Title Match. One-On-One. PRL (Continuing): At AngleMania III, I will be in without a doubt, is THE most important match I’ve ever had. I will be going head-to-head with The Mad Cappa, and if I win, then The Mad Cappa will retire from the sport of professional wrestling. But if I lose, WHICH I WON’T, then I lose the Puerto Rican Championship. The belt that means a lot to me. As you can see, I am going into a very historic battle at the Pontiac Silverdome in Detroit, Michigan on March 28th. ::Fans chant “ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE!”:: PRL: So, tonight, the main event, I just want to kick back and relax. So, it is now time for my opponent to make his entrance. He weighs 243 lbs. And is from Detroit, Michigan. He has been wrestling for 6 years now, and is making his national T.V. debut. Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for MR. TOD GIVANTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! JR: Tod Givanti? That’s certainly a new one. ::Generic rock music plays on the P.A. system. The crowd stands up, but does not react, as Tod Givanti makes his appearance. He is a stout, pale man with freckles on his face. He has blue eyes, a blonde mullet hairstyle, blonde handlebar mustache, white wrist tape, black long tights with a purple design on them, and white boots. The crowd boos as Tod power walks to the ring. PRL bounces off the ropes and looks at his opponent with a determined look on his face.:: JR: PRL defending his Puerto Rican Championship against this 31 year old man from Detroit, Michigan, the sight of AngleMania III! This is Givanti’s first OaOasT match, and what better opponent then the cornerstone of IntenseZone, Puerto Rican Lightning? ::The generic rock music continues to play as Tod Givanti enters the ring. Givanti stares at Puerto Rican Lightning, who in turn looks on in disgust. PRL gets a good luck kiss from Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and then exits the ring. The referee checks on Tod Givanti and then PRL, and calls for the bell.:: *DING DING DING* Puerto Rican Championship Match: Puerto Rican Lightning (with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Mr. Boricua) vs. Tod Givanti: Puerto Rican Lightning and Tod Givanti engage in a staredown. The crowd gets hyped up and boos loudly chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Lindsay cheers PRL on. JR: And here we go, with the main event of this week’s IntenseZone. PRL, who is taller than Tod by 2 inches, trash talks Givanti. PRL shoves Tod, who shoves back. The crowd pops for that, but PRL slaps Tod across the face, and knees him in the gut. Lightning clubs Tod Givanti across the neck several times as the crowd boos. JR: PRL taking it to Tod in the earlier part of this match. PRL punches Givanti in the face several times and then whips him into the ropes. He follows with the Flying Forearm. The crowd starts to boo loudly once again as they know what is going to happen next. Lightning gets back up and whips Tod into the ropes again and follows with a second Flying Forearm. Lightning trash talks Givanti and then picks him up again, kicking him in the gut before whipping him into the ropes for the third Flying Forearm. JR: It looks like Puerto Rican Lightning is setting up for the Sweet Chin Music, which in turn, sets up the P.R. Nightmare. Tha Puerto Rican picks up Tod Givanti once again and Irish Whips him into the ropes. Tod reverses, but PRL reverses that, ducks a clothesline, and hits the fourth flying forearm, and then kips up to loud boos. Chants of “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” fill up the arena as Lightning smiles evilly and heads to a turnbuckle. JR: It looks like it is time for the Sweet Chin Music. PRL is going for the Sweet Chin Music on Tod Givanti minutes into this match-up. Lighting taps his right boot a’la Shawn Michaels. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. PRL urges Givanti to get up, sneering at the slowly getting up Givanti. JR: PRL is “Tuning Up The Band”. The Sweet Chin Music is coming up. Mr. Boricua yells as PRL smiles evilly…and hits the Sweet Chin Music on Tod Givanti just as he gets up. Lightning poses, laughs and smiles evilly as the crowd continues booing and chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL smiles as Tod Givanti lies on the mat, breathing hard, and crawling to the outside. JR: Puerto Rican Lightning hits the Sweet Chin Music on Tod Givanti and is wasting his time playing to the crowd. Puerto Rican Lightning continues smiling and posing as the crowd continues booing and chanting “P.R. SUCKS!” Tod Givanti crawls out of the ring, but suddenly the crowd’s boos turn to cheers when The Mad Cappa appears in the crowd. The Mad Cappa slides into the ring and stands right behind PRL, who does not notice that Cappa is behind him, so he continues smiling and posing. JR: IT’S THE MAD CAPPA! THE MAD CAPPA IS HERE! AND PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING HAS NO IDEA THAT MAD CAPPA IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!! ::The crowd goes crazy as Puerto Rican Lightning thinks they are cheering him. The Mad Cappa stares at the back of PRL, not smiling and with focus. PRL waves to the crowd and bumps into Cappa. PRL has a shocked look on his face.:: JR: I THINK PRL HAS JUST SOILED HIMSELF!!! ::PRL touches the top of Cappa’s head, and as soon as he does, he realizes who is behind him. PRL touches Cappa’s face just to be sure, which causes him to have a worry look on his face and start crying. PRL does the international “Aw Shucks!” sign and gulps, refusing to turn around.:: JR: SOONER OR LATER, HE WILL HAVE TO COME FACE-TO-FACE WITH THE MAD CAPPA! THE MAN WHO HE WILL HAVE TO FACE AT ANGLEMANIA III ON MARCH 29TH!!! ::PRL slowly turns around, to the chagrin of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Mr. Boricua. When he does, he freaks out, and the crowd pops. The crowd goes crazy as The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning engage in a staredown.:: JR: COME ON MAD CAPPA! HIT HIM! HIT HIM! HIT PRL! BEAT HIS ASS, MAD CAPPA! BEAT HIM UP!!! ::The crowd is cheering loudly as Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa engage in a staredown. PRL has a worry look on his face, begging Cappa off. PRL starts to sweat while Mad Cappa continues looking at PRL with an angry look on his face. They both wait for the other to make the first move.:: JR: Can you imagine the rage going through Mad Cappa right now? Face-To-Face with the very man who nearly ended his career, and could end his career at AngleMania. Career vs. Title at AngleMania! ::PRL and Cappa continue their staredown. PRL continues worry, and then Mad Cappa charges after PRL. PRL exits the ring just as The Mad Cappa is about to grab him. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Cappa and PRL trash talk each other.:: JR: DAMNIT! THAT DAMN PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING! THAT BASTARD!!! ::The Mad Cappa continues cursing out PRL, who is walking up the entrance. Suddenly, Mr. Boricua enters the ring and hits Cappa in the back. He beats on Cappa to the crowd’s boos, and then grabs him by his neck for a Chokeslam. However, Cappa kicks Boricua in the gut and brings him down with the BUST A CAP.:: JR: BUST A CAP ON MR. BORICUA! BUST A CAP ON MR. BORICUA! ::The crowd boos loudly as Boricua leaves the ring. Cuban Wall, Colombian Heat, Thomas Rodriguez, Vitamin X, PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member and Spanish Fly, make their way into the ring.:: JR: AND HERE COMES THE LIGHTNING CREW! ::They all go after Mad Cappa, but are all taken down with one shot. The crowd goes crazy as Mad Cappa does the BUST A CAP on Spanish Fly, Vitamin X, Thomas Rodriguez, PROTOTYPE, Cuban Wall, and Colombian Heat.:: JR: BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP ON THE LIGHTNING CREW! THE MAD CAPPA HAS ONCE AGAIN TAKEN OUT THE LIGHTNING CREW EXCEPT PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! PRL HAS ESCAPED JUSTICE ONCE AGAIN!!! BUT NOT FOR LONG BECAUSE AT ANGLEMANIA III, THE MAD CAPPA WILL TAKE ON PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING FOR THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!!! ::The crowd goes crazy as Puerto Rican Lightning and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stand in the entrance way with worry looks on their faces. The Lightning Crew all lie in the ringside area in pain as The Mad Cappa stands alone in the ring staring a hole into Puerto Rican Lightning. The crowd cheers loudly chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!”:: JR: THE COUNTDOWN IS ON! THE BATTLE LINES HAVE BEEN DRAWN! THE MAD CAPPA WILL TAKE ON THA PUERTO RICAN FOR THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP AT OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III WITH THE MAD CAPPA’S CAREER ON THE LINE!!! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins to play. The Mad Cappa is still in the ring staring at PRL, not smiling and sneering at him. PRL stands in the entranceway, frightened, while The Lightning Crew all crawl over to PRL and look at Mad Cappa. Cappa challenges PRL to fight as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues playing.:: JR: IT WILL FINALLY HAPPEN!!! CAREER VS. TITLE MATCH!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING VS. THE MAD CAPPA ONE-ON-ONE FOR THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!!! SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 2004 FROM THE PONTIAC SILVERDOME IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN AT OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III!!! BUT DO NOT MISS ZERO HOUR THIS SUNDAY!!! THE SUPER X CUP!!! PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING AND THE MAD CAPPA SIGN THEIR CONTRACT FOR THEIR ANGLEMANIA III MATCH!!! STEPHEN JOSEPH AND “ICE HEART” DAN BLACK IN AN ARTIC FREEZER MATCH FOR THE ADRENALIN TITLE!!! AND MUCH, MORE MORE!!! FANS, ORDER NOW!!! WE’LL SEE YOU THIS SUNDAY FOR OAOAST ZERO HOUR: NIGHT OF THE X!!! I’M JIM ROSS, SAYING GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!! ::The last image is of The Mad Cappa standing in the ring as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool continues playing.:: ::FADE OUT::
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The lights dim a bit and The Horror begins playing throughout the arena. Fireworks shoot off from the top edges of the ramp as The Shuffle makes his way out and down to the ring) JR: Sit back and enjoy this one folks, I guarantee you we’re about to see one hell of a fight! I'm proud to welcome back, as a warm up for Zero Hour by special permission of Dan Black- its Jesse Ventura! Jesse: You’re right about that JR. These two men are in prime condition and we’re about to be treated to a fine contest (The Shuffle already in the ring now is catering to the crowd as the cameras shift to the back. We see Scott Lunde making his way towards the entrance way, but out of nowhere comes Gary Holmes) Holmes: Mr. Lunde, Mr. Lunde! (Scott stops and turns around) Holmes: Mr. Lunde, do you care to comment about the match you are about to have? Scott: No, I really don’t. I’m not some goofy kid running around playing repor… (Holmes cuts him off) Holmes: Mr. Lunde, would you care to tell us just how you intend on beating the Shuffle and taking the OAOAST North American title? Scott: Lemme tell ya kid (Scott places arm around Holmes) I’ve always thought actions speak louder than words. So lemme tell ya how I’ll beat him (Lunde uses the arm placed around Holmes shoulder to grab Holmes by the hair quickly. He then proceeds to slam Holmes’ head into the concrete wall which leaves the young reporter laid out on the floor. Lunde gives a small chuckle and proceeds to make his way to the entrance way. Camera move back to the ring) JR: That Scott Lunde is a no good bully! Jesse: Shut up JR. You’ve never been approached by the press and seen how annoying they can be. I can totally relate to Scott’s actions and I commend him for it. (Shuffle’s music stops and a horse snarl can be heard followed by hooves clapping. Music begins to play and at the top of the ramp stands Scott Lunde with a wide smile on his face. He makes his way down the aisle and into the ring. The ref holds the title up into the air, hands it to the time keeper and motions for the bell officially starting the match) Lunde walks up and gets into Shuffle’s face. The two are face to face and Lunde talks trash before giving Shuffle a shove. Shuffle returns the shove which sends Lunde a few steps back. Lunde walks back up and proceeds to slap the taste out of Shuffle’s mouth. Shuffle with his head still turned proceeds to place his left hand over his left cheek before dropping it to his side and pulling out quick over hand rights to Lunde. Jesse: Those are closed fists! With each ovrhand right Lunde stumbles back a little more until finally he hits the corner. Shuffle places his hand on Lunde’s chest pushing him back against the turnbuckle and then hits a knife-edge chop that echoes through out the building. He hits a second, and then a third before grabbing Lunde and Irish whipping him across to the other corner. Lunde hits hard and slumps back against the turnbuckles. Shuffle follows it up with a vicious running clothesline and then steps to his left. Lunde stumbles out of the corner a bit and then proceeds to just collapse on his face. JR: This could be over real quick! Shuffle covers Lunde and gets a 2 count. Shuffle stands up and brings Lunde to his feet. Shuffle places an arm around Lunde’s neck and tries for a suplex. First attempt is blocked, second attempt is blocked, third attempt is… COUNTERED. Lunde lifts Shuffle high up in the air and drops him on his neck with a hard brainbuster Jesse: This one looks a long ways from being over JR. Don’t go counting your chickens too soon JR: You can see Shuffle immediately grab the back of his neck as soon as he landed. He’s definitely still favoring it. Both men lay there as the ref begins the mandatory 10 count, but as he hits 5 Lunde begins to get up. He slides over to Shuffle who is slowly reaching his knees and locks a reverse chinlock on him. Jesse: Great strategy. He knows Shuffle has a bad neck, he knows the brainbuster furthered it, and now he’s just working it over. Shuffle’s eyes begin to look glossy and the ref checks with him to see if he wants to give up. Getting no response the ref lifts his arm once and it drops, he lifts it for a second time and once again it drops. The ref begins lifting Shuffle’s arm for a third time and the crowd starts stamping their feet and chanting for Shuffle. The ref lets go of Shuffle’s arm and it stays up, fist clenched and pumping in the air. The crowd pops huge as Shuffle begins to fight his way to his feet. Jesse: Where is he getting this from?! Don’t tell me its because of all these idiots in the crowd JR: He feed off’em Jesse, and it looks like its about to pick up! Shuffle makes his way to his feet with the hold now being turned into a side headlock. Shuffle rams an elbow into Lunde’s stomach, he rams another, and another with the last one dazing Lunde and breaking the hold. Shuffle bounces off the ropes and runs at Lunde but Lunde catches him, wraps his arms around him, turns 180degrees with him and lands a vicious spinebuster. Jesse: This is it JR, new champion! JR: This could be it! Lunde hooks the leg 1 2 KICKOUT JR: Bah Gawd it aint over yet! Lunde gets to his feet and brings Shuffle to his. Lunde hooks him and snap suplexes him. Lunde floats over and covers. 1 2 KICKOUT! Lunde starting to get annoyed brings Shuffle to his feet. Lunde grabs Shuffles arm, wrenches it around once and then begins yanking on the arm to pull Shuffle into him. Each time he drives his own shoulder into the socket of Shuffle’s arm. After the 5th one he whips Shuffle into the ropes. Shuffle bounces off, Lunde hooks him and snaps him into a Northern Lights Suplex. 1 2 KICKOUT! JR: The Shuffle has too much pride, he aint gonna stay down!!! Jesse: What does Scott Lunde have to do to beat this man?! Lunde gets up and lets his frustration known by looking at the ref and slapping his right hand against his left quickly 3 times to indicate it should have been 3. The ref tells him it wasn’t and Lunde walks away running his hands over the top of his head. Shuffle begins to get to his knees. Lunde notices and refocuses his attention onto him. Lunde walks over and grabs Shuffle by the hair to bring him up but Shuffle punches Lunde in the abdomen. He hits him with a second and then third shot which surprises Lunde, allowing Shuffle to reach his feet. Shuffle begins to hit over hand rights on Lunde once more slowly backing him near the ref. He hits about 3 consecutively and then goes for a quick super kick. Lunde dodges it falling backwards and the ref gets knocked clean in the head with the kick. JR: He missed with the KICK ASS BLASTA~! And nailed the ref instead! Jesse: That’s a DQ right there, you can’t touch a ref! JR: There’s no way he meant to do it! He was aiming for Lunde! Jesse: I don’t care, a rule’s a rule JR Shuffle in disbelief goes over to check on the ref and try to revive him. Lunde uses the opportunity to crawl up from behind, get to his knees and LOWBLOW Shuffle! JR: What do you call that Jesse? Scott Lunde just broke the rules and you’re not complaining! Jesse: The ref is knocked out JR. As far as I’m concerned this match should be over, so Lunde can do whatever he wants to Shuffle now. It doesn’t matter. Shuffle drops down in pain and lays somewhat in fetal position. Lunde noticing the ref is out uses this to his advantage and goes to the outside to grab a chair. JR: What’s he gonna do with that?! Lunde slides the chair into the ring, then rolls back in himself. Lunde stands up with his back towards the entryway and close to the turnbuckle. He grabs the chair with both hands and stands slouched with it just waiting for Shuffle to stand back up. The crowd begins to pop as Lunde yells at Shuffle to get to his feet. Jesse: Hey, what the hell is he doing out here?! Blurricane runs down the aisle way with his arms out stretched. JR: He’s a super hero Jess, he can’t let this happen! Jesse: Don’t give me that crap! He’s a nut is what he is. Lunde starts hitting the mat with the chair as Shuffle slowly reaches his knees. At that moment Blurricane jumps up on the apron and climbs the turnbuckle. Lunde still unaware stands their waiting for Shuffle to reach his feet. Blurricane jumps off the top rope and nails Scott Lunde, causing the chair to bounce off the mat, slide under the bottom rope and tip out of the ring. JR: Blurred Reality, he hits Scott Lunde with the Blurred Reality! Jesse: This is an absolute mess, where’s security?! Why are they letting this happen?! Blurricane slides out of the ring and runs back up the ramp where he stands at the top and watches. The ref begins to come to and Shuffle is now leaning up against the ropes. The ref finally reaches his feet and with him so does Shuffle. Shuffle picks up Lunde and hits him with a knife-edge chop followed by an over right punch, and another knife-edge chop. The 3 strikes back Lunde who bounces off the ropes and tries to hit Shuffle with a short clothesline. Shuffle ducks it though and when Lunde turns around Shuffle boots him in the stomach. Lunde hunches over and stumbles back a bit but Shuffle follows him, locks Lunde’s head between his legs, and then proceeds to lift him up, spin around and then jump up a bit to sit down slam Lunde. JR: Shuffle Bomb! The ref hits the mat 1 2 3!!!!!!!!!! (the bell sounds and Shuffle rolls out of the ring. He slowly makes his way over to the timekepper’s table with his left hand on the back of his neck. He grabs his belt and raises it in the air.) Announcer: Your winner, and still North American Heavyweight Champion… THE SHUFFLE!!!!! (Shuffle celebrates with the fans at ringside. In ring however Lunde begins to come to and looks up at the top of the entry way. Blurricane strikes a Super Hero pose and Scott Lunde stares at him with a look of intense anger written on his face) (Fade to commercial)
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As we return, we're backstage. Dan Black is running through the corridors, eyes wild, suit dishevelled. Dan sprints into his office and locks the door firmly behind him. We cut to the locker room, where Reject and Stephen are watching Dan on a monitor. They grin at Black's fear, and Stephen nods slowly. SJ What do you say we take a ringside seat for the next match? Reject smiles, and the two men stride out. We cut to the ring. GARY CAPPETTA Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall and is for the OAOAST Adrenalin Title! JR Dan Black has been forced to put the title on the line, as he has not defended the belt since winning it against SpiderPoet at AnglePalooza! His Zero Hour defence comes just outside the 30 day time period needed for a defence, so we'll see who Dan has as an opponent. We cut to see Stephen Joseph and Reject in the front row, relaxing in their street gear. Cue: "Quiet" Floods of black smoke pour from the entranceway, as bright sparks of pyro shoot through it. GMC Introducing first, from London England, weighing 238lbs, he is the reigning and defending Adrenalin Champion- "Ice Heart" Dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn BLACK! Dan emerges through the smoke- with 6 big security guards all around him! Wearing black trenchcoat, black tights and black shades, Dan strides down to the ring with the security sticking tightly to him. JR Dan has a lot of muscle with him! He clearly knows that Stephen and Reject are in the crowd! Dan stops in front of SJ and Reject, and removes his shades to stare at them. Reject laughs, but Stephen rises to his feet and returns Dan's gaze. Black breaks away with a sneer and enters the ring as the music cuts out. Dan removes his coat, and hands his title belt to the referee, before grabbing the microphone from Cappetta. BLACK Allow ME to introduce my opponent...he weighs in at an intimidating 375lbs....he hails from parts unknown....ladies and gentleman, the IntenseZone debut of Jobby McJobberton! With no music, Jobby McJobberton appears. JR MAH GAWD! That kid can't be more than 150lbs! Dan Black is full of horse sh- BLACK C'mon Jobby! This is your big chance! JR He's only a kid! Eighteen, nineteen maybe! What did Dan do, go round the local wrestling schools till he found the smallest guy? McJobberton walks down to the ring, shaking with nerves. BLACK Don't be afraid! Look at the muscle on you! It should be ME that's afraid! Jobby steps into the ring, and Dan extends a hand! Jobby nervously takes it- and Dan pulls him into a belly to belly suplex! BLACK Let's get this on! DING DING DING JR Well, apparently this is an official match and title defence. Damn Black and his GM powers! Dan picks Jobby off the mat and lashes him with a pair of European uppercuts. Black whips Jobby to the ropes, and nails him with a high elevation dropkick. Shaking his head, Dan scuffs the head of McJobberton on the mat, telling him to get up. JR This isn't right! Dan comes out here, acting like a bigshot- when we all know he's terrified of Stephen Joseph! All that security- if he was the man he claims, that wouldnt be there! Black waits for Jobby to get up, and then runs in with a YAKUZA kick- but Jobby ducks! Punches to Black- but Dan gives JMcJ a toe kick, hooks up his leg, and gives him a fishermans DDT! Black stands over Jobby and poses, before walking to the edge of the ring, pointing at Stephen Joseph and making a throat cutting gesture. SJ and Reject leap up, but Dan's security stands in their way, and they sit again reluctantly. Dan scrapes Jobby up off the mat and hooks in a full nelson, hitting a release Dragon suplex that crushes the unfortunate kids neck into the mat! Black covers: ONE! TWO! Dan picks Jobby up! JR Oh c'mon, enough already! This isn't right, even for you Dan! Black sets Jobby up and gives him a cradle piledriver! McJobberton isn't moving and the crowd begins to boo Dan loudly. Black struts across the ring, picks up the Adrenalin Title and raises it above his head! Dan then throws it down next to Jobby, and picks the kid up. Dan underhooks both Jobby's arms, going for his PitchBlack onto the title belt! The referee tugs at Dan's arms, trying to stop him, but Dan shoves the referee down hard, and gives Jobby the spinning tiger driver onto the belt! Black is up and pumping his arms in sick celebration! At ringside, SJ has had enough, and stands. The security moves over, but Stephen produces a large bundle of cash, which the guards shrug and take, before moving off! JR AHAHA! That serves Dan right! No one has any loyalty to him, and Stephen just got rid of his backup with a few dollars! Black, unaware of the events, is still posing. With the referee down, Stephen is in the ring behind him! Black turns- KICK! WHAM! PITCHBLACK! JR MAH GAWD! Stephen just nailed Dan with his own move! And-whats this? Stephen throws Jobby on top of Dan, and slaps the referee into consciousness! SJ scoots out of the ring as the ref counts! ONE! TWO! JR NEW CHAMPION!! THREE! NO! KICKOUT! JR Damn it! So close! Dan Black slowly rolls over, draping an arm and reversing the cover! The ref counts, reluctantly: ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING GMC The winner of the match and still Adrenalin champion, Dan Black! JR Damn it! Medics run in to attend to Jobby, as Dan picks himself up on the ropes, furiously staring at Stephen, who, together with Reject, makes his way back up the ramp. JR Ladies and gentleman, at last, at Zero Hour, these two men will come face to face, one on one! It's been brewing for 6 months, and the Hour is almost here! Who will survive the cold? Who will feel the Adrenalin? Join myself and Jesse Ventura, this sunday, to find out! COMMERCIALS
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JR Fans, last week as you know not only saw the return of the former two-time World's champion Anglesault, but the uncalled for -- uncalled for -- attack by Tony The Body, on the night our 'Sault's award for Lifetime Acheivement. I have a couple of announcements to share with you. I know AS won't like me saying this, but he spent the last week at a local medical center for tests. I can confirm to you, besides the obvious bumps and bruises, Mr. OAOAST suffered broken ribs and received 10 stitiches near his hairline from chairshot and brutal right hands (I'd normally say 'soup bone rights' but Tony isn't black) that followed. The second announce-- Before JR can finish his comments the music of the sexeist man alive, "Simply Ravishing," hits, causing women - and men, if you bat for the other team - worldwide to experience bliss. Tony forcefully grabs the mic from J.R. and pushes him to the turnbuckle. TONY THE BODY Cut the music. This is for Rude! What I'd like to have right now, is for all you cubby (damn P.C.), white-powder-donut-with-pudding-inside-eating 'net surfing dweebs, keep the noise down while I give the 'Why?' speech. Damn, I love saying that. Random comment of the week: Why are anchorwomen and women in the news media so beautiful? When I got back to one of my many mansions across the country all the little homeless kids kept coming up to me asking the question everybody in the world wants to know: "Can you spare loose change Sir?" As I looked into their ugly faces, I said, happily I might added, "Beat it ya little scum!". After they wiped the tears from their eyes, then they asked "Why did you brutally assault Anglesault?" I once again looked into their eyes, which were uglier than I last remembered, and said "Because he wouldn't help a good cause." Ladies and gentlemen, that 'good cause' was Anglesault signing IZ's contract and helping return IZ to the promiseland. Returning IZ to the force it once was. In this business everybody is family. Even the guy or gal you go out there night after night trying to beat to a bloody pulp, because just like every family in the world you have differences. Despite those differences when a family member's in trouble and you can help in any way, shape or form, you do. But no! Not with Anglesault. You see Anglesault is that spoiled family member who walks with his chin so high you think he had his nose stuck up the bosses ass. The man only cares about himself, and himself only. He'd rather tell you the story how he won the OAOAST championship for the first time, like the Captain of the high school football team telling all his teammates how he banged the head cheerleader in various positions including in her asshole. Well AS is that asshole! AS is considered Mr. OAOAST. But when the family -- me and IZ -- were in trouble he turned his head aside because it was happy hour. It wasn't until Miss Celo opened my eyes months back. She made me see the new...me...T-Bod. Yes...T-Bod. I needed a change, and I got that. Not only do I look better, I feel better. Bitch, happy hour has turned into Zero Hour for you. As a card carrying member of the Board of Directors, I, the real Mr. OAOAST, challenge you to a match at Zero Hour. You and me one on one, no gimmicks needed... Wait a minute. Wait just a darn minute. I beg your pardon. I forgot you don't have a contract with IZ. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Such a pity. (jumping around singing) You can't touch me! You can't touch me! Hahahaha! T-Bod pauses as he sees -- The Chairman of the OAOAST board of directors "Cowboy" Bill Watts, smile on his face, entering the ring. WATTS Tony -- excuse me, T-Bod. I, like many of the fans worldwide are disappointed we won't see you vs. Anglesault at the Pay-Per-View. But following the events of last week I got a call from the rarely seen Co-Owner of OAOAST Entertainment . As a matter of fact, he's live from our Headquaters for this special message just for a star like yourself. Please turning your attention to the IZ jumbotron. BOARDROOM, OAOAST HQs The 12 member board are seated, the back of a chair is seen -- the chair turns to reveal Co-Owner OAOAST Entertainment...DONALD TRUMP! THE DONALD T-Bod. I'm pleased to know you're a 'card carrying member of the board of directors' but I have some news for you. A board member doesn't commit an act like we saw last week. Selling your stock after being tipped off, yes. Attacking a historical figure, no. I want you to take that card and shove it! T-Bod...YOU'RE FIRED! As a resulting of your firing, the board also passed a ruling allowing AngleSault to appear on IZ anytime he so wishes. Fans disappointed about your match against 'Sault not taking place at Zero Hour can be comfort knowing it'll happen next month at AngleMania III. When we informed Anglesault about our decision this afternoon he sent the board an e-mail with these truthful comments..."SNAP. CRACKLE. POP!" We cut back to T-Bod with a stone face look. He doesn't seem worried at all. As a matter of fact he gives off a quick smirk. WATTS By the way, here's your ticket to Zero Hour because you'd want to see the return of The Body Shop with Jesse "The Body" Ventura; guests Anglesault & T-Bod. I look forward to AngleMania III where you two will hook 'em up! We hear the beginnings of "Carmina Burana O Furtuna". Tony pauses, looking up into the heavens almost as if he's breathing in this sign. JR Now what? I know I sound like a moron when I say that, but could somebody PLEASE let the damn guy in the cowboy hat know what the hell is going on one time! Once. Just once for the love God! The song slowly warps into an instrumental version of "Dream On". Tony begins to freak because he knows AS is a) behind the songs playing, b) possibly somewhere in the building and c) sending him a very real message. We go to commerical watching T-Bod standing mid-ring, still stunned about what he just heard. JR What an announcement. What a message being sent by Anglesault. AS vs. T-Bod at AngleMania III. What a night it'll be! COMMERCIALS
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JR: Folks, last week on IntenseZone, The Lightning Crew Gauntlet, set up by the Puerto Rican Champion, Puerto Rican Lightning ended after a 2 month run. And it ended the way it should have ended, with a Mad Cappa victory. Let us take you back to the end of The Lightning Crew Gauntlet. The Mad Cappa vs. Colombian Heat with Puerto Rican Lightning on commentary. ::The IntenseZone logo flashes by on the screen. The Lightning Crew Gauntlet logo flashes by on the screen. A caption, in big, white blocky letters reads “LAST WEEK ON INTENSEZONE”. Cut to the end of The Mad Cappa/Colombian Heat match with PRL on commentary.:: Heat hits Cappa some more and then picks him up and sends him into the ropes. The Mad Cappa goes for the clothesline, but Heat ducks, stops, and kicks The Mad Cappa in the gut. The crowd explodes with boos and stands up in anticipation as Colombian Heat gets behind The Mad Cappa and grabs his arms. He lifts The Mad Cappa and screams loudly. The crowd boos as Colombian Heat screams and drops The Mad Cappa with the Colombian Necktie to a loud pop but it devolves to boos. Colombian Heat breathes a huge sigh of relief. Puerto Rican Lightning: YES!!! YES!!! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!!! THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE!!! THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE!!! THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE HAS JUST BEEN PUT ON THE MAD CAPPA!!! THE SAME MOVE THAT COLOMBIAN HEAT PINNED THE MAD CRAPPA WITH IS THE SAME MOVE THAT WILL END THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAHAAAAAA!!! I AM LOVING THIS! I AM LOVING THIS! JR: The Mad Cappa has just suffered the Colombian Necktie! A move that no one has kicked out of since Colombian Heat joined the OaOasT! PRL: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA!!! THE MATCH IS NOW OVER!!! THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO END!!! THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNLTET IS OVER!!! THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNLTET IS ABOUT TO END WITH THE MAD CAPPA NOT RECIEIVNG THE MATHC HE WANTS!!! THIS WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING! HAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!!! THE MAD CAPPA IS ABOUT TO SUFFER A P.R. NIGHTMARE!!! THE MATCH IS OVER!!! JR: It looks like the match is about to end! Colombian Heat hit the Colombian Necktie! The crowd boos loudly, very loudly chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Colombian Heat smiles evilly and poses for the crowd. Some people throw garbage in his direction, but Heat doesn’t notice. JR: The Lightning Crew Gauntlet could be over at this very moment! PRL: Of course it will, Jim Ross! Now I can relax and worry about other things because Cappa will have no choice but to NOT fight me! Colombian Heat covers The Mad Cappa. The crowd boos loudly, but the referee counts. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2 2/4 2 ¾ 2.9999999999999999999999 THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-----NO!!!! THE MAD CAPPA KICKS OUT OF THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE!!! THE CROWD EXPLODES!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT IS SHOCKED AND NOW WORRIED CLUTCHING HIS FOREHEAD!!! JR: AND OH MY GAWD~!!! THE IMPOSSIBLE JUST HAPPENED!!! Puerto Rican Lightning: WHAT!?!!!! WHAT!? WHAT?!!! NO!!! IT CAN’T BE!!! IT—IT—IT CAN’T—IT JUST CAN’T BE!!! DID THE MAD CRAPPA JUST KICK OUT OF THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE? DID THE MAD CRAPPA JUST KICK OUT OF COLOMBIAN HEAT’S FINISHING MOVE? DID THE MAD CAPPA JUST NOT GET PINNED BY COLOMBIAN HEAT AFTER USING THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE? THE SAME MOVE THAT DEFEATED CRAPPA LAST WEEK IS THE SAME MOVE THAT HE KICKS OUT OF THIS WEEK? JR: THE MAD CAPPA HAS JUST MADE A COMEBACK IN THE MOST IMPORTANT MATCH IN THE LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!! The crowd is now standing up and cheering like crazy. JR: COLOMBIAN HEAT HAS NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NOW! PRL: OF COURSE HE DOESN’T! EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN FOLLOWING THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE! INSTEAD, HE HAS TO CONTINUE THE MATCH KNOWING THAT THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE DID NOT WORK! IF THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE, IF THE VERTIBREAKER DID NOT WORK, THEN WHAT THE HELL WILL? JR: PERHAPS YOU HAVE UNDERESTIMATED THE MAD CAPPA’S WILL TO WIN? PRL: NEVER! Colombian Heat becomes worried and looks at PRL for help. PRL: I DON’T KNOW! HIT HIM! Colombian Heat punches The Mad Cappa in the face, but The Mad Cappa is unaffected by the punch and stands on one knee. Colombian Heat becomes worried, but he punches him in the face again. The Mad Cappa kneels in front of Colombian Heat and dares him to punch him again. Heat does so, so The Mad Cappa stands up and yells in his face. The crowd stands up and goes crazy cheering and chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as Cappa shakes in the ring walking around, dancing and jumping up and down as only he can. He is “Cap-ping Up”. Puerto Rican Lightning: What the hell is he doing? What is he Hulk Hogan or something? JR: He is not Hulk Hogan! He is The Mad Cappa! This is the OaOasT. You will not find no Nathan Jones, no Triple H’s, no Mark Henry’s, and no John Heidenreich’s here! PRL: And that really makes you sad, right? JR: … Yes. PRL: Don’t just stand there like an imbecile, Heat! HIT HIM! JR: The Mad Cappa is “Cap-ping Up!” The Mad Cappa is the “Comeback Kid.” He came back from a career-threatening injury. He came back from numerous LC beatdowns. And now he is coming back in this matchup. Colombian Heat punches The Mad Cappa in the face again. Cappa no-sells it and smiles. The crowd cheers as Cappa punches Colombian Heat in the face two times, dances, and then drops him to the mat with the IMPACT~! JR: IMPACT has taken Colombian Heat down! PRL: Ugh. Oh no! Oh God no! Please don’t tell me it ends like this! Please don’t tell me it ends with The Mad CRAPPA winning. Oh no. Oh God no! I don’t even want to think about something that horrible! The Mad Cappa picks up Colombian Heat and whips him into the ropes. Colombian Heat goes for a clothesline, but Cappa ducks, and hits the Fall From Grace to a big pop. JR: The Fall From Grace! PRL: Come on! Come on! Get up! GET UP! HEAT GET UP! GET UP!!! The Mad Cappa stops to dance for a bit and then stares a hold into Puerto Rican Lightning. The crowd is going crazy chanting “CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA! CAP-PA!” as Cappa smiles and heads to the top rope with Colombian Heat lying on the mat. PRL: UGH! HE IS NOW STEALING MY MOVE! MY MOVE! I INVENTED THE TOP ROPE LEGDROP! I INVENTED IT! THAT IS MY SIGANTURE MOVE! THE MAD CAPPA CRUSHER 2003 IS MY OWN MOVE! JR: Regardless, Cappa is now going up for the Legdrop. And it connects! The Mad Cappa goes for the cover. 1… 2… Three---COLOMBIAN HEAT KICKS OUT!!! PRL: Whew. That was a close one right there. JR: Heat continues to take a beating from The Mad Cappa. Irish Whip to the ropes. SPINEBUSTER! The crowd stands up and cheers very, very loudly as The Mad Cappa stands over Colombian Heat and gets an idea. PRL: Oh no! Don’t tell me he is going to do what I think he is going to do, is he? JR: He is, P.R.! I think he is! The Mad Cappa stands over Colombian Heat and gets in position to deliver the Puerto Rico Elbow. He takes off his shirt to ladies squeals, and throws it to the crowd. He does some weird hand signals, and a little shimmy, then bounces off the ropes, leaps over Colombian Heat, and leaps over the other ropes. Puerto Rican Lightning: This is my move! THAT MOVE IS COPYRIGHTED! I SHOULD SUE THE MAD CRAPPA FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! I SHOULD SUE THE MAD CRAPPA FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! The Mad Cappa does a little dance, which causes the crowd to pop some more and does the Puerto Rico Elbow to a loud pop. JR: The Puerto Rico Elbow connects on Colombian Heat! The Mad Cappa points at Puerto Rican Lightning and trash talks with him. Lightning and Cappa engage in another staredown. Their faces become fill with rage as the two archrivals engage in a heated yelling contest with the crowd standing up and going crazy. PRL stands up from his chair and sneers at Cappa. Puerto Rican Lightning: You got no chance Mad Cappa. You hear that, NO CHANCE! NO CHANCE IN HELL! IN HELL! IN HELL! The Mad Cappa continues yelling with PRL when suddenly the crowd’s cheers turn to boos. Cuban Wall runs into the ring and goes after Cappa. PRL: And here comes the reinforcements! Before Cuban Wall can attack, The Mad Cappa notices him and ducks his clothesline attempt. The Mad Cappa punches Cuban Wall twice, dances, and then does the IMPACT~! Onto Cuban Wall. Cuban Wall gets back up and they continue brawling while Colombian Heat struggles to get up. The Mad Cappa kicks Cuban Wall in the gut…and he receives the BUST A CAP to a loud pop. Wall crawls out of the ring. PRL: DAMNIT! SEND MORE OUT HERE! SEND MORE OUT HERE! GANG UP ON HIM! GANG UP ON HIM! Spanish Fly, Vitamin X, and Thomas Rodriguez head into the ring. Meanwhile, Heat crawls out of the ring and calls to the timekeeper’s table. JR: The LC is ganging up on Mad Cappa. The crowd boos loudly as Fly, X, and Rodriguez send Cappa to the mat. Vitamin X picks up Cappa and goes for a punch, but Cappa blocks it, and gives Vitamin X the BUST A CAP to a big pop. PRL: NO!!! TMC elbows Spanish Fly and Thomas Rodriguez. Cappa punches Thomas out of the ring, and he gives Spanish Fly the BUST A CAP to another loud pop. Fly leaps up and falls back first down to the mat. JR: Mad Cappa is now decimating the Lightning Crew! PRL: Not for long! JR: Wait a minute, what does Colombian Heat have? Spanish Fly exits the ring as Mr. Boricua and PROTOTYPE: The PERFECT Lightning Crew Member enter. Colombian Heat grabs his pimp cane and slowly crawls back into the ring. TMC fights off Boricua and PROTOTYPE with the IMPACT to both men. The crowd is still going crazy as the rest of The Lightning Crew lie around the ringside area. Cappa clotheslines PROTOTYPE over the top rope and gives Mr. Boricua the BUST A CAP to a loud pop. Boricua exits the ring when suddenly, Colombian Heat smashes his pimp cane across Mad Cappa’s back causing it to break. The crowd boos loudly as Mad Cappa falls to the mat. JR: BAWD GAWD WHAT A SHOT FROM THAT—THAT PIMP CANE! Puerto Rican Lightning: AND THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! The crowd boos loudly and chants “HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS!” but Colombian Heat doesn’t care and just raises some gang signs. He trash talks to the crowd and grabs his testicles, and then laughs his evil laugh while The Mad Cappa recovers from the cane shot. He dances a bit and spits at the crowd. He flips the crowd up and picks up Cappa slapping him in his face. JR: What a shot of disrespect from Colombian Heat! Puerto Rican Lightning: And now it is finally going to happen! The Mad Cappa will finally lose! The Lightning Crew Gauntlet will end! Colombian Heat will make The Lightning Crew proud! Go, HEAT, GO! GO, HEAT, GO! GO COLOMBIAN HEAT! JR: This does NOT look good for The Mad Cappa. He is still feeling the effects of that pimp cane shot and who knows how stable his back is? Colombian Heat can take the advantage and win the match ending The Mad Cappa’s dreams of getting a match against Puerto Rican Lightning! PRL: That’s not going to happen any night! JR: This is—this—this is just—just too depressing to watch. Cappa is one his knees, being carried around by Colombian Heat. PRL: It’s all over, Cappa. It’s all over. All your dreams. Your hopes. Your future. It is all about to fade away. Face it, Cappa. You’re nothing. NOTHING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!! The crowd continues booing loudly and chanting “HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS! HEAT SUCKS!” and “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” and throw garbage into the ring as Colombian Heat picks up the tired, in pain, fatigued, sweaty, breathing heavily, dazed, and confused Mad Cappa. Heat spits in the crowd’s direction as he stands Mad Cappa up. JR: This doesn’t look good for Mad Cappa. But then, in a burst of energy, The Mad Cappa kicks Colombian Heat in the gut, and gives him the BUST A CAP to a loud, humongous pop. JR: AND WHAT THE? WHAT THE? OH MY! OH MY GAWD~!!! THE BUST A CAP! THE BUST A CAP!!! THE MAD CAPPA HAS JUST HIT THE BUST A CAP ON COLOMBIAN HEAT!!! HE HIT THE BUST A CAP OUT OF NOWHERE! NOWHERE! Puerto Rican Lightning: WHAT? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! COME ON LIGHTNING CREW! GET UP! GET UP LIGHTNING CREW! COME ON LC! COME ON AND GET UP! DAMNIT! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!!! The crowd goes wild as Colombian Heat falls to the mat back first and acts like he is in a seizure. The Mad Cappa smiles and covers Colombian Heat. JR: COVER HIM! PRL: NO! NO!!! IT CAN’T END LIKE THIS! IT JUST CAN’T!!! IT JUST CAN’T END LIKE THIS!!! NO!!! 1… 2… 3!!!! *DING DING DING* JR: CAPPA DID IT! CAPPA DID IT! MAD CAPPA! MAD CAPPA! MAD CAPPA! MAD CAPPA!!! Puerto Rican Lightning: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Gary Michael Cappatetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, and WINNER of The Lightning Crew Gauntlet, and will NOW be receiving a shot at the Puerto Rican Championship against Puerto Rican Lightning, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A!!!! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins playing again. The Mad Cappa smiles a wide smile and gets his arms raised by the referee. Colombian Heat is still lying on the mat, struggling to get up, while the rest of The Lightning Crew walk to the entrance, all in pain. PRL stands up and throws a temper tantrum at the announcer’s table. The Mad Cappa gets the crowd hyped up, waving his hands in the air and climbing the turnbuckles, getting the crowd to cheer louder and louder. The crowd is going crazy chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” as Cappa smiles and yells out “I GOT MY SHOT! I GOT MY SHOT!”:: Puerto Rican Lightning: I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I agreed to this stupid Gauntlet! JR: Well it’s too late now to back out of it. You are LEGALLY BINDED to a one-on-one match against The Mad Cappa. And there is NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO BACK OUT OF THIS MATCH! YOU HEAR THAT, P.R.? NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!! NOTHING— PRL: SHUT UP! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! As much as I hate to say it, The Mad Cappa did what I wanted him to do. He defeated all 8 members of The Lightning Crew. I gotta give him propz for at least doing that. ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues playing as The Mad Cappa continues standing in the ring smiling, dancing, and jumping up and down. Cappa makes the international “I-Want-The-Belt-Around-My-Waist” hand motion and puts one finger in the air symbolizing his match against PRL. The crowd cheers.:: PRL (distraught): Aw, shut up, you stupid fans! JR: You said it couldn’t be done. You signed the contract and made it legally binding because you thought that The Mad Cappa couldn’t defeat every member of The Lightning Crew. You thought he couldn’t defeat Mr. Boricua. You were proven wrong. You thought he couldn’t defeat Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. You were proven wrong. You thought he couldn’t defeat Cuban Wall and PROTOTYPE in a Handicap Match. You were proven wrong. You thought he couldn’t defeat Colombian Heat or Vitamin X. You were proven wrong. For 2 months, The Mad Cappa has proved you wrong week in and week out. And now you must pay the price. You WILL defend your Puerto Rican Championship against The Mad Cappa. The question is at what date will this one-on-one match happen and it WILL happen. PRL: SHUT UP JR! DON’T MAKE ME SEND PROTOTYPE AFTER YOU AGAIN! I GOT TO THINK! THIS IS SOMETHING I DID NOT EXPECT! I EXPECT CAPPA TO GO DOWN IN A BLAZE OF GLORY! I DID NOT ACTUALLY EXPECT HIM TO WIN THE DAMN LIGHTNING CREW GAUNTLET!!! I SET THIS UP BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WOULD LOSE AND I COULD GET HIM OUT OF MY HAIR! WELL NOW, THIS IS SOMETHING COMPLETELY NEW TO ME! I NEED TIME TO THINK! JR: When will the match take place? Puerto Rican Lightning: WILL YOU SHUT UP? I NEED TIME TO SORT THINGS OUT! JR: AW, KISS MY ASS!!! PRL: No thank you! Now, if you’ll excuse, I need to get my things together. I need to think about the date of the match. The stipulations. And I got to confront Colombian Heat and The Lightning Crew for FAILING ME IN THIS GAUNLET! I AM VERY ANGRY AT COLOMBIAN HEAT RIGHT NOW AND HE WILL HEAR FROM ME NEXT WEEK! HE HAS A WEEK TO RUN, BECAUSE NEXT WEEK I WILL PUNISH HIM FOR FAILING ME THIS WEEK!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT WILL GET PUNISH NEXT WEEK!!! ::Colombian Heat slowly leaves the ring. He is shocked that he lost and is sad. The Mad Cappa is still in the ring celebrating.:: PRL: Next week, all the questions will be answered. I will punish Colombian Heat. I will address the crowd about the end of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet. And I will reveal the date of the PRL/Mad Cappa Puerto Rican Championship Match. JR: Next week looks to be a barnburner! The Lightning Crew Gauntlet has finally ended this week, and it was won by The Mad Cappa! Way to go Cappa! Way to go! PRL: SHUT UP! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool begins playing again. The Mad Cappa heads to a turnbuckle and poses to a loud pop. The Mad Cappa looks directly at Puerto Rican Lightning and gives him a mean look. Puerto Rican Lightning looks at The Mad Cappa and sneers. He stands up and grabs his Puerto Rican Championship belt and raises it for Cappa to see. He points to it while Cappa continues staring a hole in him.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: No Chance. No Chance. No Chance In Hell. Do you hear that? DO YOU HEAR ME YOU BASTARD? THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL THAT YOU WILL EVER BEAT ME!!! NOT A CHANCE IN HELL THAT YOU WILL WIN THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP!!! ::Puerto Rican Lightning stands up on top of the announcer’s table and raises his Puerto Rican Championship belt in Mad Cappa’s direction. He yells at Mad Cappa.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! YOU HEAR THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH?!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! YOU WILL NEVER BEAT ME!!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!! No chance in hell! No chance in hell!!! NONE!!! No chance in hell!!! ::The IntenseZone and OaOasT logos flash by on the screen. The Lightning Crew Gauntlet logo flashes by and the camera cuts back to Jim “JR” Ross.:: JR: And it is because of this, that we now head to tonight, with Puerto Rican Lightning expected to reveal the date for the PRL/Mad Cappa match. As you just saw, PRL is NOT pleased at all that Colombian Heat lost the match last week and I can’t blame him. PRL is afraid of The Mad Cappa and KNOWS that he can’t back out of this. This match MUST happen. The question now is just when? Well, PRL said he was coming out here to reveal the answer, but where— ::A deep, slow voiced man saids "LIGHTNING CREW". The AngleTron lights up with an image of Puerto Rican Lightning on it. The crowd boos the moment his face is shown. The image of a smiling PRL changes to another image of PRL raising the Puerto Rican Championship belt after a match. The crowd continues booing waiting for Puerto Rican Lightning to show up. As the AngleTron shows image after image of PRL, music is being played in the background. The music is slow and mellow sounding like the opening to a classical song. A man whispers the words "Chance" throughout the opening. On the AngleTron, the image changes to an image of PRL choked up. Follow by PRL being very very angry. Follow by PRL crying. Finally, the last image is of Puerto Rican Lightning smiling in a psychotic matter. The music swells, the crescendo hits, the AngleTron switches to a waving Puerto Rico flag with, in big white blocky letters, LIGHTNING CREW appearing in front of it. A lightning bolt hits the entrance. Fog fills up the entrance as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds begins playing. The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron as the crowd boos waiting for PRL to arrive.:: JR: It looks like Puerto Rican Lightning is coming out here right now! And we will now find out just when The Mad Cappa/Puerto Rican Lightning match will happen. ::The crowd chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" until finally, Puerto Rican Lightning steps through the fog and smoke and the flickering lights, and smiles evilly. The crowd boos PRL loudly, chanting "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" but PRL does not listen. He laughs, looks at his Lightning Crew, and then orders them to walk with him to the ring.:: JR: PRL is out here with The Lightning Crew. Just a few moments ago he scolded Colombian Heat for losing. And as we just found out, the contract is legally binding so there is nothing PRL can do to escape this match. ::Puerto Rican Lightning walks to the ring with a solemn look on his face mixed with anger. The rest of the LC are unhappy especially Colombian Heat, who is rubbing his head and is sad as "No Chance In Hell" continues to play. The crowd continues booing him, some even throwing garbage in his direction. PRL jaws with some fans at ringside and flips them off.:: JR: The Lightning Crew aren’t coming to the ring their usual selves. ::PRL enters the ring with an angry look on his face. He is chewing gum with a solemn look on his face. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez holds the ropes for the rest of the LC and then enters herself. The crowd continues booing and chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as PRL grabs a microphone. The Lightning Crew stand in the ring depressed as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds comes to an end. The crowd is still booing chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!”:: JR: These fans not really appreciative of Puerto Rican Lightning. Tha Puerto Rican not in the mood to receive “P.R. SUCKS!” chants, but is he ever? ::PRL looks at the crowd, still chewing his gum. The crowd is still booing and chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL chats with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and the crowd finally quiets down. Puerto Rican Lightning speaks.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: You know, over the weekend, I found out that I will be apart of HeldDOWN’s little Super X Cup Tournament at Zero Hour: Night of the X. I will be taking on some dude named Black Diamond who I never heard of. Have you heard of him, Colombian Heat? Colombian Heat: No, G, I ain’t got no idea who he is. PRL: What about you, Vitamin X? Vitamin X: No sir, I do not know him. Puerto Rican Lightning: And you, Lindsay? Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez: No, PRL. I haven’t gotten the slightest clue who he is. PRL: Well, that’s nice. It most likely means that I don’t got to worry about him. Now, I can’t say this does NOT flatter me. I am VERY glad that HeldDOWN was able to recognize what IntenseZone and you fans couldn’t. That I, Puerto Rican Lightning, am without a shadow of a doubt, the GREATEST WRESTLER in the world today and quite possibly, of all-time. That I, Puerto Rican Lightning, am talented, charismatic, handsome, “gifted”, and all around great. That I, Puerto Rican Lightning, am the MOST ELECTRFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING TODAY, AND THAT’S THE TRUTH, RUTH! ::The fans start booing again. PRL sneers at the crowd while the crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The Lightning Crew all applaud PRL and smile. PRL kisses Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez.:: JR (disgusted): This is making me sick. PRL: However, if you want my thoughts on this Super X Cup, then tune into HeldDOWN this Thursday night, because YOUR Puerto Rican Champion, Puerto Rican Lightning will make his very first appearance on that show with a few words for the competitors of the Super X Cup Tournament. JR: Did PRL just advertise the competitions show? Puerto Rican Lightning: But enough about that, let’s talk about the thing that has been on my mind ever since last week. And that is The Lightning Crew Gauntlet. ::POP!:: PRL: Namely, the end of the Lightning Crew Gauntlet, which saw The Mad CRAPPA defeat Colombian Heat. ::Loud pop.:: JR: That is true. Tha Puerto Rican now must take on The Mad Cappa for the Puerto Rican Championship. Puerto Rican Lightning: Now, according to the contract I signed with IZ General Manager Dan Black, I am legally binded to a one-on-one matchup against The Mad Cappa. Now, I already confronted Colombian Heat about losing and everything is cool with us. ::Colombian Heat smiles and then frowns.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: But, I’m sure The Mad CRAPPA is in the back, dancing up a storm, eating vitamins, drinking milk, kissing babies, and doing all that crap that was stale in the early 90s. Now, I KNOW that you don’t have as much intelligence as I do. I KNOW that you aren’t as talented as I am. And I KNOW that you can’t dance as good as I am. ::PRL dances, but the fans boo.:: PRL: And so, it is because of this that I am here to announce that, as of right now, this PRL/Mad Cappa Puerto Rican Championship Match…WILL NOT HAPPEN! JR: WHAT? THIS IS RIDICOLOUS! THAT MATCH MUST HAPPEN! IT IS LEGALLY BINDED!!! ::The crowd boos loudly. Chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL smiles.:: PRL: Now, now, now. I know that you all are upset. I know you were all thinking::Stereotypical Hick Southerner Voice:: “Dang Jethro, I wanted to see that Mad Cappa fellow kick the doo doo out of that Puerto Rican fella.” Well, Mary-Jo and Billy Bob, you will NOT be seeing this match. I-- ::The opening trumpet blare causes the crowd to stand up and pop in anticipation.:: JR: I know someone who is not happy about this announcement! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool starts playing as the lights go down in the arena. Spotlights circle the arena. The fans stand up, some dancing, and chant “GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA!” as PRL stands in the ring disgusted. The spotlights stop except for one that is in the entrance. The Mad Cappa walks through the curtain to a loud pop, but he is not dancing tonight. He is not smiling, and is carrying a microphone. PRL and Cappa engage in a staredown as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” continues playing.:: JR: The Mad Cappa went through 8 Lightning Crew Members in a 2-month period. And he did it all, just to get a match against Puerto Rican Lightning, the very man who nearly ended his career by crushing his larynx, sending him to a hospital for 3 months. Doctors said he would never wrestle again, but he came back early, all because he wanted revenge against Puerto Rican Lightning! And now PRL is saying the match is off, but he is legally binded to a one-on-one match. What’s Cappa going to think of this? ::The Mad Cappa stands in the aisleway with the microphone in his right hand. Tha Puerto Rican sneers at Mad Cappa and trash talks. Cappa begins to speak as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool stops playing. The crowd is hot chanting “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” Mad Cappa stands in the aisleway for a few moments and then speaks.:: JR: I wonder what is he going to say? The Mad Cappa: GATLAMALA! ::The crowd cheers.:: The Mad Cappa: Now, did I just hear right? Did I just hear you say—say that you will NOT be giving me a shot at the Puerto Rican Championship? PRL: You’re damn right I just said that. ::Crowd boos.:: The Mad Cappa: Well color me surprise. I guess you really are a coward after all! ::Crowd pops. PRL freaks out.:: PRL: I AM NOT A COWARD, MAD CAPPA!!! Cappa: Then prove it! Let me fight you, one-on-one in the middle of the ring for your Puerto Rican Championship! JR: YEAH! YOU DO THAT! PROVE YOUR MANHOOD! TAKE HIM ON! GO FOR IT PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING! GO FOR IT! ::The crowd cheers loudly and chants “MA D CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” PRL discusses with The Lightning Crew for a few minutes as the crowd is hot while Mad Cappa stands in the aisleway waiting for an answer.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: MAD CAPPA! You make me sick! I detest you! I can’t stand the very sight of you! Everything about you makes me want to vomit. I can’t stand you, and you don’t deserve all the things you get. Therefore, it is because of this, that you will not, will not, WILL NOT get a match against me! ::The crowd boos. The Mad Cappa stands in the aisleway with a sly smile on his face.:: The Mad Cappa: *Sigh* You know, PRL. I pity you sometimes. You come out here and you run your mouth. You talk about how you’re the greatest wrestler who ever lived. You talk about how no one is in your league. You talk all this bull, and then when you are offered a REAL challenge. Someone who is definitely in your league, you run away. You get scared and do all you can to stick your tail between your legs and run away. And that is a sign of a sad, pathetic man. Then I realize that this is Puerto Rican Lightning. A man with a prostitute for a girlfriend, a stupid jumping bean for a best friend, a brain dead muscle moron for a bodyguard, and a bunch of jabronies who couldn’t cut it in any wrestling league so they come to you, sucking your C(BLEEP)K hoping that you will accept them and feed them. You have the sorriest sack of ass kissers I’ve ever seen! Puerto Rican Lightning, you are just a PUERTO RICAN LOSER!!! ::The crowd pops. A loud “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” chant starts up again. Puerto Rican Lightning stands in the ring furious along with The Lightning Crew, who are also furious, as The Mad Cappa smiles and chants along with the crowd. PRL looks like he is about to explode.:: JR: Puerto Rican Lightning looks like he is about to blow a gasket. This does not look good. Puerto Rican Lightning: ALL RIGHT THAT DOES IT!!! I AM ABSOLUTELY SICKED OF YOU!!! MY PATIENCE FOR YOU IS RUNNING THIN!!! YOU SEE MAD CRAPPA, I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. I REALIZED THAT THE OAOAST IS NOT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US!!! ONLY ONE OF US IS STRONG ENOUGH TO SURVIVE AND SINCE YOU ARE SO DAMN DETERMINED TO HAVE A MATCH WITH ME, THEN LET’S FIND OUT WHO THAT PERSON IS!!! YOU WILL GET YOUR MATCH!!! AND YOU WILL GET THAT MATCH…AT OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III!!! JR: OH YEAH, HERE WE GO!!! Puerto Rican Lightning: THIS HAS GONE ON FAR ENOUGH!!! YOU AND I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR THIS FOR ALMOST A YEAR AND I’M SICK OF IT!!! I HATE YOU!!! I CAN’T STAND YOU!!! LET’S SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL AT ANGLEMANIA!!! ::The crowd pops loudly. The Mad Cappa looks satisfied with that answer while Puerto Rican Lightning, now sweating and shaking with his face red, calms down.:: Puerto Rican Lightning: But, on one condition, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE CONDITION! I will make this match happened, but…BUT…I WANT YOUR CAREER ON THE LINE!!! ::The crowd boos loudly. PRL sneers while Cappa thinks of his answer. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” at PRL.:: JR: That’s not right! PRL has no right to do this! Making Mad Cappa put his career on the line just so he can have a match against Puerto Rican Lightning? That is not fair. Will Cappa go through with it? The Mad Cappa: If I have to put my career on the line in order to have a match with you…so be it. I ACCEPT!!! ::The crowd pops. PRL and The Mad Cappa engage in a staredown.:: JR: WELL WE FINALLY HAVE THE MATCH!!! Puerto Rican Lightning: SO THEN IT’S SETTLED!!! SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 2004 LIVE FROM THE PONTIAC SILVERDOME IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN!!! OAOAST ANGLEMANIA III!!! CAREER VS. TITLE MATCH!!! PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP: THE CHAMPION PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING VS. THE CHALLENGER THE MAD CAPPA WITH THE MAD CAPPA’S CAREER ON THE LINE!!! IF YOU LOSE, CRAPPA, IT’S OVER!!! DONE! FINISH!!! YOUR CAREER WILL END!!! YOUR CAREER WILL BE OVER!!! The Mad Cappa: I like how that sounds, but tell you what, P.R. I don’t care about your Puerto Rican Championship. It’s not why I’m having this match. I don’t give a damn about your fake title belt that you brought in San Juan. Sure, WHEN I beat you, I will wear the belt, and bring some DIGNITITY to that piece of strap and gold. I will make that belt prestigious. I will make it important. But, that’s not why I accept this match. You see, I’m doing it so that I can BEAT YOU! ::Crowd pops.:: Cappa: I’m sick of what you have done. To me, to the OaOasT wrestlers, and to these fans. On March 28, you will get your comeuppance. On March 28th, in the Pontiac Silverdome, you will get a beating you have avoided since last year. I will make you pay for putting me in the hospital for three months. I will make you pay for crushing my larynx. But most importantly, I will make you pay for screwing the OaOasT fans for this whole year. Your ride will end. Your momentum will stop, and GATLAMALA, when I beat you and win the Puerto Rican Championship, the OaOasT will have the celebration of a lifetime! Sure, this match is the most important match in my life, and sure, if I lose, then I will have to retire, but that doesn’t scare me. Because I am ready for the challenge. And I am ready to take you down and make you suffer. Don’t ask, just accept it! Because on March 28, 2004 the OaOasT will witness THE END OF PUERTO RICAN LIGHTNING!!! NOW HIT MY MUSIC!!! Puerto Rican Lightning: I’ll see you this Sunday at Zero Hour for the contract signing, Cappa. Cappa: Can’t wait to see you there, bitch! ::”Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Mix)” by DJ Kool starts playing. The crowd cheers loudly as Mad Cappa does a little shimmy in the aisleway. Puerto Rican Lightning converses with The Lightning Crew in the ring. PRL is in a bad mood, but Cappa is smiling.:: JR: And there you have it. At AngleMania III, The Mad Cappa will take on Puerto Rican Lightning for the Puerto Rican Championship and if The Mad Cappa loses, then his career is over. It is a match one year in the making and it is happening on March 28th, at OaOasT AngleMania III! Folks, we’ll be right back after this! ::COMMERCIALS::