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Mystery Eskimo

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Everything posted by Mystery Eskimo

  1. Mystery Eskimo

    METAL predictions

    OPENING MATCH TRIPLE THREAT Dominic Korgath vs "Suicidal" Jay Freeman vs Tommy Nguyen - Korgath HWADKORE MATCH Tryst vs Jay Morrison - Tryst, if he can show this time SINGLES MATCH EUROPEAN TITLE Danny Conklin vs English Dragon© - no predict. MAIN EVENT BOILER ROOM BRAWL SJL WORLD TITLE Aecas vs Viktor Tarakanov© - Coin say...Aecas.
  2. Mystery Eskimo

    Recent purchases

    The Quiet American. Loved the book so picked it up off ebay. Michael Caine is excellent.
  3. Mystery Eskimo

    English Football

    how bout that penalty les ferdinand won? best thing ever.
  4. Mystery Eskimo

    A Wrestling Move Discussion

    Yeah, that'd be cool. Do we have any local promotions round this way? I've never been to a live show, how poor is that. With the reverse SSP thing, I was thinking off actually propelling the legs backwards, rather than forwards as in a moonsault. I don't know if that makes any sense!
  5. Mystery Eskimo

    SJL Metal Card - 03.08.19

    Only 4 matches again...
  6. Mystery Eskimo

    iZ booking

    More Eski-Jailbait stuff this week, heading into the culmination of the feud~!
  7. Mystery Eskimo

    SJL Crimson August 14, 2003

    Thanks I like shiny things.
  8. Mystery Eskimo

    SJL Crimson August 14, 2003

    Going off topic again, is it ok for me to put the JL website pic of the Euro title in my signature, or will I be annoying someone by stealing bandwidth?
  9. Mystery Eskimo

    The *New* SJL Stats Page!

    New post to replace "crashed" previous one. Wrestlers Name: English Dragon Height: 5'11 Weight: 223lbs Hometown: London, England Age: 24 Face/Heel: Heel Stable: None Ring Escort: Robertson the Butler Weapon(s): n/a Quote: "Learn to speak the Queen's English, you snivelling yank!" Looks: Various masks, usually in red and white, with regulation dragon horns. red or white trunks with the opposite red or white trim. Occasionally will pull out GOLD outfits. Ring Entrance: A slow confident walk, ring music- "Land of hope and glory". No pyro. Wipes his feet on apron ala Regal before entering. Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 3 (relies on technical expertise more than brute force) Speed: 6 (able to fly and keep up with most other cruiserweights) Vitality: 5 (can go the distance if needs be) Charisma: 6 (capable of drawing instant heel heat just from his patronising wave. Strong talker) Style: Technical, but capable of high flying offence Signature moves: Aztec Suplex Tiger Suplex Chimera suplex sequence (german, tiger, dragon) Dragon sleeper Dragon suplex cradle piledriver suplex into neckbreaker belly to back brainbuster european uppercuts slingshot brainbuster LOW BLOW~! backbreaker-gutbuster (hits a regular backbreaker, then picks opponent up again, flips him over and plants his stomach onto the knee) Common moves: belly to back suplex fujiwara armbar Northern lites suplex missile dropkick chickenwing suplex chickenwing powerbomb superkick stiff chops superplex DDT (occasional tornado DDT) dropkick spinkick neckbreaker tilt a whirl backbreaker tilt a whirl facecrusher Flashback Rare moves: Dragon suplex off 2nd turnbuckle (don't know if anyone would take this in real life...) "British Empire strikes back" - the Houston Hangover "Dragon Air"- moonsault into a diving headbutt Finishers: Dragon Driver (Styles Clash) The St George's Cross (figure 4 leglock) Notes: Smooth in ring style, rarely loses composure. Methodical assault on a body part if necessary. Not the strongest of wrestlers, he relies on speed and skill to keep his opponents under control. Steve Regal's character in AJ Style's body, perhaps. Cheats rampantly but believes himself to be a shining example of English fair play. Despite being under a mask, his charisma shows in his gestures and attitude- Dragon is instinctivly hated. Dragon is now accompanied to the ring by his butler, Robertson. Robertson is a massively strong, brutal man, who interferes liberally in Dragon's matches. Does not speak or react emotionally at all. Carrys brass knucks for use at ringside if possible. If stats ever needed: Height: 6'9 Weight: 325lbs Strength: 10 Speed: 2 Vitality: 3 (not a wrestler) Charisma: 5 (looks bad-ass and cheats = hated) Bio: English Dragon wrestled under his real identity in England and Japan (that identity has now been heavily concealed from the public), capturing 7 different titles until an American, who Dragon refuses to name, beat him "with a fluke roll up" for all 7 titles. Furious, Dragon began a descent into hatred of all things American. Donning a mask, Dragon travelled to the US to gain revenge for his lost titles...spiralling further into anger...and here the story begins.... Dragon made a good start in the SJL, quickly becoming TV champion. A quick loss and regain of that belt led to him becoming a two time champ. Dragon threw in his lot with Urban Decay~! and now guns for the European Title. TWO TIME TWO TIME TV Champion Current European Champion Record: 13-3 W Dan Caldwell W five man battle royal for no 1 TV contendership TV title: W Syndicate Tables Match, TV Title: L Leo Breslin W Chris Trepanier TV Contendership: W Tim Dillon L John Duran TV Title: W Shawn Tybalt Ladder Match, TV Title: W Todd Royal Submissions Match, TV Title: L Todd Royal w/ Korgath W 2 Drink Minimum Euro Contendership: W Tim Dillon Euro Title: W Apostle Non-title: W Aecas Non-title: W Tryst Euro Title: W Danny Conklin Non-title:
  10. Mystery Eskimo

    Crimson Predictions

    NEWBIE MATCH Hybrid vs. “Suicidal” Jay Freeman TV TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH Tommy Nguyen vs. Jay Morrison NON-TITLE MATCH English Dragon vs. Tryst MAIN EVENT BEST FUCKING MATCH EVER SPECIAL CALVINBALL MATCH Manson vs Dominic Korgath vs Jimmy “The Demon” Liston vs Danny Conklin vs Craig McClennan vs The Apostle
  11. Mystery Eskimo

    SJL Crimson August 14, 2003

    Entirely off topic, can someone fix the JL stats thread? I wants new moves.
  12. Mystery Eskimo

    A Wrestling Move Discussion

    Just a random question- has anyone ever done a reverse shooting star press, as in facing out of the ring, jumping backwards and landing on their back? I'm just wondering if it's physically possible. Incidentally, Dace, I was looking through the SWF stats, I see you're from Birmingham- I'm working on Broad Street at the moment.
  13. Mystery Eskimo

    Crimson Predictions

    NEWBIE MATCH Hybrid vs. “Suicidal” Jay Freeman - Mr. Coin say Hybrid TV TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH Tommy Nguyen vs. Jay Morrison - Tommy, just because. NON-TITLE MATCH English Dragon vs. Tryst - No predict. I wasn't around when Tryst was here before so I don't know how good he is, but everyone speaks highly of him so should be a tough one. MAIN EVENT BEST FUCKING MATCH EVER SPECIAL CALVINBALL MATCH Manson vs Dominic Korgath vs Jimmy “The Demon” Liston vs Danny Conklin vs Craig McClennan vs The Apostle - Er........Funyon.
  14. Mystery Eskimo

    iZ Recall~!

    Unless I missed it, I didn't get a segment on that. I liked the Bizarro stuff. It's a good, different kind of storyline. One of the things I like about IZ (and HD) is that the feuds have some basis rather than being "Grrr! I hate you for little or no reason!".
  15. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    CREDITS Writers: BPP Shooter Jay GameDust SpiderPoet Y2Jailbait Kanadian Krusty EvenflowDDT La Parka Mystery Eskimo Caboose Production: Mystery Eskimo w/BPP
  16. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    BOOM! Pyros flare, music blares and a packed out crowd goes wild for another episode of the OAOAST's flagship show. We waste no time in cutting to our regular hosts. JR: Good evening and welcome to IntenseZone~! I'm Jim Ross, and I don't have time to introduce Jesse Ventura, we're heading backstage for what can only be described as HELLACIOUS action! ::Scene, Cameraman running down the hallway, the camera jostling around, showing an erratic picture. Teddy Long is ahead on the right a few feet, his earpiece's wire fluttering about, catching what Teddy is saying in reply.:: Teddy: You sure bout that playa? Cmon honky! turn here! ::Cameraman turns to the right, and a door halfway down is open with various OaOasT staff clusered around with frightened looks on their faces...Teddy pushes his way through the crowd and to the door, allowing himself and the cameraman to get in:: Teddy: Damn...playa hata ::The camera, unsteady, turns upwards, catching EMT's working around the General Manager's desk. Shattered upon its top is the remnants of a guitar, and the General Manager of IntenseZone, Damian Gonzalez, whose head to totally covered with a bright red sheen, not exactly what a black man should be wearing.:: TeddY: Hey, Cracka-lacka, what happa? OaOasT Official: Remember that guy Banky? Damian banned him right after that match with Dangerous A...Well, Banky sued D-A, and got a bunch of money. Banky got himself a suit against OaOasT, and he came here to talk...Well, his talking was smashing a guitar over Damian's head and declaring himself the new General Manager...looks like our Board was scared shitless. Teddy: Damn... :: cut back to JR, a blank look on his face :: Jesse: Ahaha! That's great! This should bring some life into things around here! JR: This is an outrage! Dames have been attacked...BAH GAWD, I'm SPEECHLESS! BAH GAWD! SPEECHLESS! SCALDED DAWG! BAH- Jesse: Cut! Cut! We cut. (Parka is seen walking backstage with his Tag Title over his shoulder when he bumps into Bizarro.) BIZARRO Watch where you're going ass! PARKA Who are you? BIZARRO What!? I'm Bizarro Blurricane! The guy who retired everyone's favorite hero! Now move before I'm forced to retire you too! PARKA How are you going to do that? You think I'm afraid of an overgrown kid and a insecure old man? BIZARRO Funny...real funny. That's a nice belt you've got there. (Bizarro touches the belt, but Parka pulls back) PARKA Get your hands off the belt or you and your Father will have matching wheelchairs! BIZARRO Whoa! Let's not get angry now. I have no beef with you. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go to the ring to show the world more footage of how pathetic Number 13 is. (Bizarro walks away as Parka looks pissed) COMMERCIALS
  17. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    JR: Dammit! I can't believe Banky has control of IZ! Jesse: Well you better believe JR, because things are going to change. JR: Joseph put up one hell of a fight, but what exactly has Caboose gotten us all into here?! Jesse: Speaking of Caboose, it looks like he's not fnished yet... Caboose steps into the ring as Banky quits posing and leaves for the back. Caboose walks over to Joseph who is lying bloody, battered and beaten in the ring. Caboose stands over Joseph and calls for a mic which he is handed. Caboose: How much more do I have to do to you before you agree to fight me? Do I have to bring you within an inch of your life like you did me? Come on Joseph, where is your legendary fighting spirit gone? Where is your will to win now? Regardless, at AngleSlam I'm coming to end it all. Once and for all. (Crowd Pops) Caboose: You and me. No Zack. No Trinity. No Sandman. No aWo. No one else. Just you and me. But this time its for everything. Whoever loses walks away from the OAOAST FOREVER! (Crowd Pops Huge) JR: Oh my god! Caboose: Thats right. At Angleslam I'm challenging you to a match. The Winner rids the OAOAST of the loser forever. You win and I'll stop coming after you. I win, and you have to leave this little world you've created for yourself. But if you don't agree to this match, I'm going to come for you everynight for the rest of you life. You owe me Joseph. You owe me six months of my career. But six months of yours wont be enough. I want it all. (Crowd Pops, with audible boos) Caboose: So what do you say? Caboose places the tip of his baseball bat under Joseph's chin, and lowers the mic to Joseph's bloody mouth... Joseph: (Cough) Your on Caboose. If its what it'll take for you to stop stalking me, then your on. (Crowd Pops) Caboose: Thats all I needed. JR: Oh my! Stpehen Joseph versus Caboose at Angleslam! The loser leaves the OAOAST forever! Jesse: This is huge! Caboose steps back from over Joseph's body. Caboose turns away and the referee slides back into the ring to help Joseph. Caboose however turns back and brings down his Cricket Bat in Joseph's gut! JR: Dammit Caboose, you've got your match! Jesse: Yeah but he still hasn't got those six months back yet! Caboose picks up Joseph and throws him over his shoulder as the referee tries to reason with Caboose. The crowd cheers and boos in anticpation of the Emerald Fusion... JR: No don't do it! Caboose pauses, lifts his right arm in the air and Crunch! Caboose delivers the Emerald Fusion to Stephen Joseph in the middle of the ring to yeat another loud mixed reaction! Caboose shouts at the referee as Caboose covers Joseph... JR: What the hell?! Jesse: Caboose is sending a message to Joseph! The referee looks hesitant, but counts the cover... 1-2-3! Caboose springs up and stares at Joseph. Jesse: Caboose just pinned Stpehen Joseph with the Emerald Fusion! JR: If Caboose does that at Angleslam, Joseph is gone forever! Caboose stand over Joseph, again staring at the unconcious Joseph to both cheers and boos. JR: BAH GAWD! It's been a hell of a night! I can't wait for next week, I can't wait for Angleslam! For Jesse Ventura, I'm Jim Ross, GOODNIGHT!
  18. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    ::Cue: Banky:: Banky, the rude country singer, recipient of an ass-kicking by Dangerous-A months ago, strolls out to the ring with his five hundred dollar cowboy hat, a Stetson of course, and a look of haughty arrogance. His own music plays him to the ring, its ornery musicality drawing even more heat upon the Bankster ::Cue: My Own Prison:: Stephen Joseph steps out and walks briskly down the stage, shedding his trench coat and tie along the way. His reaction is mixed...some Popick chants, but the ever present :Sucks!: attached to it by many a fan. ::Ding, Ding, Ding:: This match is for the General Managership and Commissionership of IntenseZone Boos rain down, for which man, they're probably even, and Banky and Joseph lunge into combat, Banky with a hard right hand that Stephen answers with another right hand, trading blows back and forth, forth and back. JR: They're pummeling each other right in the ring, and neither is budging Jesse: That's what happens when things are on the line. Banky kicks Stephen below the stomach, ending the punching contest, and already Stephen is bleeding from the mouth, a slight trickle down the right side of his cheek and neck. Banky whips Stephen towards the ropes, then drop-toe-holds him, his neck catching the middle rope, and this naturally leaves Stephen hung out to dry. Jesse: What great tactics! Banky runs back across the ring, getting momentum to hit a running leg attack on the back of Stephen, flipping him back into the ring. Banky goes for the first cover! Kickout at 2! JR: Close call for Stephen Joseph right there Banky starts trash talking, getting himself very close, pulling Popick up by his hair and being admonished for it by the ref. Stephen instinctively grabs the hand and dropkicks the right knee of banky, sending banky falling to the mat, and Stephen in position to flip him over into a cross-arm! Banky hurriedly grabs the bottom rope, breaking the hold, and Stephen backs off. The Bankster pulls himself up in the corner, a scowl upon his face. Popick stands there in the middle, telling Banky to shut up and get back to wrestling, or getting his ass kicked, depending on if the censors caught Stephen's potty mouth. Bankster runs to SPEAR Popick, but Stephen Matrices to avoid the spear, and Banky slides into home...or the turnbuckle! Stephen pulls Banky back out by the legs, and then starts kicking the hands! JR: Stephen obviously picking his body part now Jesse: The man wants to ruin Banky's career...He plays guitar with those hands! Stephen quits with the attack, and pulls Banky up, to whip him into the turnbuckle...Stephen charges but eats boot, and Banky then leaps from the second rope SPEARING~! Stephen down to the mat. Banky plays to the crowd, trying to get them to go for a 10 punch count...but when that fails, Banky just starts wailing on Stephen, busting him open above the eye! Banky relents his assault on Stephen, and scales to the top rope JR: We could be seeing a BankySault here. Jesse: If so, Banky's got this thing won Banky poses to the crowd, and this small time wasting allows Popick to lunge at the ropes, crotching Banky! Slowly pulling himself up, Stephen ambles over to the turnbuckle, punching and climbing to the top rope Stephen stands with Banky on the top rope, holding Banky in a full-nelson....Stephen pulls Banky back, up and over SJ's head, and both come crashing down...FINALITY to Banky! Stephen stands up and signals to the crowd, motion for the Synchronicity V3! ::Caboose's music begins to play:: Stephen looks up, and having just picked up Banky, turns his attention to the stage, but there is no caboose...none at all. The ref, his head being turned, doesn't see Banky go low. but the ref turns around to see Stephen lifted up. BANKYBUSTER~! Banky Covers. 1! 2! 3! JR: Oh no...Banky is in Control of iZ! Jesse: I was right all along...That's why I'm the mind, and JR, you're going to be fired!
  19. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    JR: Welcome back! Eskimo is going to be cleared! BAH GAWD! Jesse: Why the hell does that fish help Eskimo out? He's too cool for a boring bastard like Eskimo! JR: Jealous of the liquor? Jesse: A little. JR: Fans, the NA title match is usually our main event, but tonight has had to be forced down the card for that massive Stephen Joseph-Banky match. Nevertheless, this is going to be great!, in just a few moments we will have the re-match for the K-NESS vs. Kyle Landis match from License to Pin, which ended in a time limit draw. Jesse: That’s right JR, but tonight it’s going to be a whole different game, you see, K-NESS has wrestled two matches AND has won the North American title since License to Pin, Kyle Landis on the other hand has yet to do anything, which certainly won’t help him tonight. Ring announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the North American Title, introducing first, the challenger, from Colombus, Ohio, weighting at 220 pounds, Kyle Landis! Kyle Landis makes hid way to the ring to a chorus of boos. Ring announcer: And his opponent, from Samar, Phillipines, weighting 221 pounds, the OAOAST North American champion, K-NESS! A blue light centers on K-NESS as Trans Magic hits, and he walks to the ring to a huge pop from the crowd. JR: There he is folks!, the OAOAST North American champion!, and he’s ready for action! K-NESS removes the black towel from around his neck and enters the ring. *Ding Ding Ding * Landis charges but gets hiptossed, K-NESS picks him up, Irish Whip, but Kyle comes back with a dropkick to the knee!, Landis tries a Dragon Screw Leg Whip, but K-NESS reverses into an enziguri! JR: What a kick to the head!, perhaps K-NESS could end it right there! K-NESS covers: 1.. 2.. 2.9!!!!, Landis kick out. K-NESS grabs him, HIGH-ANGLE EXPLODER!!! JR: Bah GAWD!, K-NESS damn near broke Kyle Landis’s neck here! K-NESS picks Landis up, TIGER SUP... NO!!!!, Landis elbows his way out, Irish Whip by Landis, but K-NESS comes back with a WESTERN LARIAT!!! Jesse: GOOD NIGHT Mr. Landis! JR: Kyle Landis is barely conscious, all K-NESS has to do now is finish the job! K-NESS drags Landis to the center of the ring, picks him up, and hits the Release Tigah Suplex ’85! K-NESS covers 1.. 2.. 3!!! *Ding Ding Ding * Winner in 1:34, via pinfall, K-NESS JR: Well Kyle Landis will have to head back to the gym because he was really out of shape tonight Jesse: Exactly JR, challenging for the North American title after resting for two weeks wasn’t a very wise decision. JR: We're only minutes away from the HUGE match to decide who will take control of IntenseZone. If you're thinking about going anywhere, you're crazier than...well, you know what. COMMERCIALS
  20. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    Our scene as we return from the break is an interrogation room. A man sits in the dark. A detective stands over him, the light playing on his face. Detective: Please state your full name. Man: DUBBED OUT Detective: And you are known in a wrestling organisation as "Mystery Eskimo"? Man: That's right. Detective: Now...do you know a woman by the name of Clarissa? Eskimo: I do. Detective: How do you know her? Eskimo: She's the...girlfriend, lover, I don't know what...of DUBBED OUT. Detective: And he is the man known as "Y2Jailbait". Eskimo: Yes. Detective: You aware of the allegations that you assaulted this woman? Eskimo: Yeah. The first time I ever touched was in the ring last week. Detective: Then you admit you touched her? Eskimo: Yes but I didn't- Detective: That'll be all for now. Eskimo: You can't just leave! This isn't right! Detective: I'd advise you to calm down, sir. I'll be back later. But I can tell you, with the statements of Mr."Jailbait" and Clarissa- you're looking at at least 5 years inside. Eskimo: But I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! Detective: Your lawyer is here to see you. Tell him you will be submitting a guilty plea. It will make things much easier on you. The detective leaves, holding the door open for a figure to enter. The figure is wearing a long raincoat and is wobbling back and forth. It appears to have a Bill Clinton rubber mask on. Eskimo: What the hell? The figure collapses, revealing Derek the Fish riding a uni-cycle, holding a broom stick with the mask on the end of it. Eskimo: DEREK! Derek: Hey... Eskimo: What are you doing here? Derek: Ah...I had...to tell you something... Eskimo: What? Derek: I'm not sure...I stopped off for a drink or two on the way over... Eskimo: WHAT IS IT? Derek: Woah, easy, don't shout...something about... Eskimo: Jailbait? Clarissa? Derek: Yeah! There was something going on in Jailabaits locker room...and this OAOAST camera guy was kind enough to film me listening...we have it all on tape! Eskimo: God bless those nosey camera-bastards. What was it? Derek: Never mind now. I've sent it to the judge who's been set for your trial. We have a meeting with him next Monday. Eskimo: I have to stay here another week?! Derek: Well, I got the bail money together like you said, but... Eskimo: You spent it on booze? Derek: Ah...yeah. Eskimo: If I wasn't already in here for one assault... COMMERCIALS
  21. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    RING ANNOUNCER: The following contest is scheduled for one fall... [The blue spotlights fade in, flickering throughout the arena as "Shin-Jingi Naki Tatakai" by Hotei blares over the PA] Introducing first, from Boston Massachusetts, weighing in at 173 pounds, "SHOOTER" JAY DARRING! JR: Jay Darring made the challenge tonight to Spider-Poet: prove your worth as a man, back up your words with actions. Jesse: What right does Jay Darring have to question anybody's character, after all the horrific things he's done in OAOAST? Jay is a philanderer anyway- he probably wants to move in on Widow! JR: Jay has a steady relationship! Jesse: Like that's ever stopped him. Jay calmly walks around ringside, slapping any outstretched hands he sees, and awaits his opponent. [Cue "Believe in Angels" by Heather Nova and Graeme Revelle.] RING ANNOUNCER: And from Charleston, South Carolina, weighing in 230 pounds, "Spider-Poet" Peter Cone! Cone eschews his usual dramatic entrance, choosing instead to simply walk to the ring, and enter, staring at his opponent. JR: One thing is for sure, Amanda Crimson will be watching this match very closely. Jesse: No doubt. Everyone remembers how poorly he treated her as part of Los Infernales, and after all that he assumes everything is going to be hunky-dory? Please. Not to be Devil's Advocate, but the monster may very well still exist within Peter Cone. *DING DING DING* Cone and Darring meet in the center of the ring, Jay putting the mouth on him as Peter stands there silently. JR: You're not seeing play-acting here folks. The personalities of these two men are very real, and you're going to see a passionate, intense match tonight between two passionate and intense men. Jay, strangely, offers his hand to Cone. Cone takes it, but Jay pulls it away! "Too slow Petey!" Jay smiles and offers it again. Again Cone takes it, but Jay grabs the arm and grabs a side headlock! Jesse: Jay playing some mind games with the Poet- I like it! JR: He said he was going to try and push his buttons tonight, do everything he could to bring out the demons, and it's already in motion. SP pushes Jay back up against the ropes, and shoves him off. Jay runs off the ropes- duck by Cone, Jay leapfrogs over, but stops. Cone turns around- EYEPOKE by Jay, staggering Cone, followed up with a ROUNDHOUSE KICK to the face! Cone bails to the outside! Jesse: Finally, I've found something I like about this kid! What a brilliant move. JR: This may be a "test," but Jay still holds a grudge against the Poet for ending Undisputed's career. He's going to hurt Peter Cone, and hurt him badly for his sin. Cone is still gathering his senses on the outside, Jay runs the ropes, sprinboard- RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT! CONE MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! Jay sees it as he comes down, he rolls through on the landing unharmed. Cone capitalizes however, with a big thrust kick to the stomach! Jay is doubled over as Cone quickly bounces up to the apron, he measures his opponent- QUEBRADA DDT! JR: WOW! What a move! Peter Cone proving once again why he is the best pure athlete in OAOAST! Jesse: He SPIKED him on the back of his head! That's concussion city. Cone throws Jay back into the ring and climbs back on the apron- SPRINGBOARD- LEGDROP CONNECTS! COVER! 1! 2! KICKOUT! JR: It's gonna take more than that to put down Jay Darring. You practically have to kill him to beat him! Cone picks him up, sends him into the ropes with an irish whip. Cone tries to catch him off the ropes with a rana- caught by Jay. Jay tries to throw him off- Cone lands on his feet! ONLY TO GET MET BY A BRUTAL ROARING ELBOW! JR: Jay has unmatched ring awareness, excellent timing and velocity on that shot. Jesse: Now that Jay has the advantage, things are going to get brutal. Jay picks up the fallen Poet, slapping him as he gets up. "Come on Petey!" Jay quickly grabs a side waistlock- SAITO SUPLEX HARD ON HIS NECK! JR: Jay is coldly exacting his revenge on the Bard for his fallen partner. Jesse: It's about time we say this attitude from Jay! This is what'll take him far in OAOAST, not that vamp Lauren! "One more time!" Jay drags the prone bard to his feet again, for ANOTHER SAITO SUPLEX! JR: Jay is deep into his dark side, Lauren has warned him about this. Jesse: It's like Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader, but with more workrate. Jay makes a slow throat-cutting gesture. Cone isn't moving, Jay heading to the top rope. He climbs the buckles, still no signs of life from Peter. -DIVING HEADBUTT!! CONE MOVES! Jay shoots up, holding his head! Peter takes advantage with a sniper-perfect heel kick! JR: The Poet showing new life! Jay gets up clutching his forehead, and Poet takes advantage by grabbing a headlock and DRIVING him down with a bulldog! A bloodstain instantly appears on the mat! Jesse: The Shooter has been busted wide open! There's a cover! 1.... 2..... KICKOUT BY DARRING! JR: Jay better find a way to turn this match around and end it quickly, because he won't be able to go for that long if blood continues to pour out of that cut! Peter picks Jay up, whips him hard into the turnbuckles. *SMACK*! Cone connects with a hard chop to the chest, followed by a quick jab to the bloodied forehead of Jay. Cone goes to whip Jay into the other corner post. He charges- but Jay catches Peter's head with his legs! HURRICANRANA-driving the Bard's head into the buckle! Cone is staggered, and Jay quickly hits a floating neckbreaker, both men are down! JR: This match has taken a lot out of both men, physically and emotionally! The referee is administering the count... 1! 2! 3! 4! No signs of life yet. 5! 6! Both men are turning over, starting to get up... 7! 8! Cone and Jay both on their feet, and Cone with a CHOP! Jay with a CHOP! Cone with a CHOP! Cone with a CHOP! Jay with another CHOP! But this time he connects with some hard punches before Cone can respond! Jay bounces off the ropes- but he's hit with a dropkick by the Poet on the rebound! Cover! 1! 2! 2.9! Poet slaps the mat in anger! JR: Uh, oh, the Poet is starting to show some signs of frustration! Jesse: Maybe Jay was right, maybe this was an act all along! "Get up!" Peter throws Jay into the ropes-ducks down. Jay catches that telegraphed maneuver with a hard forearm to the back. He grabs a double-underhook, picks him up...he's got him over his shoulder- COLT 45 CONNECTS! JR: VICIOUS backbreaker by the former North American champion! There a cover! 1! 2! SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST SECOND! JR: What a close fall! That move's put a lot of people away before Ventura! Jesse: Maybe he was drawing on a "higher power" to kick out. Jay is in shock, but quickly grabs the still-stunned Bard. Has him up for a suplex- wait a second, no, he holds on, pumps twice, BIGTIME BRAINBUSTER! JR: BY GAWD WHAT IMPACT! Jesse: Did you see his head bounce off the mat?! Jay covers! 1! 2! KICKOUT WITH AUTHORITY! JR: What the hell? And he's getting up! Jesse: Do you see the look in his eyes! Indeed, Cone's eyes seem to glow, as he unloads on the shocked Jay with vicious stiff kicks to the legs! He follows up with a CRACKLING backhanded slap to the face, spinning Jay around! Cone grabs his head from behind, delivers one last stiff kick to the neck, and DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH A REVERSE DDT! JR: PETER CONE IS POSSESSED! Jesse: THAT LITTLE PRICK WAS RIGHT, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Cone chooses not to cover off of that devastating series. He heads to the opposite corner, waiting patiently for Jay to get up. He starts STOMPING HIS FOOT! JR: He's signalling for the SPIDAHKICK! That'll end this match for sure. Jesse: And with whatever "extra force" he has behind it, he might kill Jay! Jay is starting to get to his feet, the referee checking on him. Poet thrusts in for the kick- JAY PULLED THE REF IN FRONT OF HIM! THE REF GETS HIT FULL FORCE WITH THE SPIDAHKICK! JR: The referee's head just snapped back! Normally I'd be righteously indignant to such an action, but Jay was just trying to save himself! Cone throws the ref's lifeless body to the side, and grabs Jay for a powerbomb! JAY SLIPS OUT! Boot to the gut, he tries a powerbomb of his own! Cone is fighting the bomb with punches! Jay staggers by the ropes-Cone ranas him over the ropes! Jay spills hard to the outside, and Cone lands on his feet! He throws Jay HARD into the steps, and a giant THUD is heard throughout the arena! JR: I'm shocked, just in shock ladies and gentleman, at the actions of Peter Cone. After all he's been through, to regress back in only his second match... Jesse: He's been a liar all along! You know, I bet "Goblin" was just a giant ploy to get Widow back so he can abuse her some more. That's how sick and twisted he is! "Gimme that f'n bell!" Cone shoves the timekeeper out of the way and grabs the ring bell, as the defenseless and bleeding Jay crawls back into the ring. JR: Jay Darring is defenseless, Cone will kill him with that bell! Jesse: Well, I'm still in support of that- HIT HIM! HIT HIM! Jay is trying to get up but can't. He sees Cone raising the ring bell, a feral grin across his face. He raises the bell high, as Jay struggles in a futile attempt to get to his feet! Jesse: HIT HIM! HIT HIM! FINISH HIM OFF! Suddenly, the grin starts to disappear, replaced with confusion...the bell still raised high! Jesse: DAMMIT! HIT HIM! GIVE IT TO ME I'LL HIT HIM! Cone is still confused, starts to shake his head, as if clearing cobwebs, and throws the bell down! The crowd pops HUGE as they know their hero is still on the side of good! JR: YES! THAT A WAY POET! I KNEW HE WAS A REDEEMED MAN! Jesse: DAMMIT! HE COULDN'T HAVE HIT HIM FIRST?! Peter, a grin on his face, heads to the top rope! "POWER OF THE POET!" WHITE SPARKS FLY FROM THE RINGPOSTS as Peter Cone morphs into the SPIDERBARD! Bard signals to the crowd that he's going to do something big! But Jay is up! With his last ounce of strength, he dashes up the buckles and cuts off Bard! He hooks him up- FOR A ONE-MAN SPANISH FLY! JR: MY GAWD, MY GAWD WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MANEUVER, DESPERATION HIGH RISK SHOT FROM JAY, AND IT PAID OFF BIG TIME! Jay clutches his chest in pain, but jumps on the Bard for the cover! BUT THE REF IS STILL DOWN! JR: No one to count the fall! OUT OF NOWHERE, Reject slides in and breaks up the count with a hard baseball bat shot to Jay's back! The referee has turned over and seen it, and calls for the bell- to silence. Jesse: There's no bell, you moron, it's in the ring! JR: Jay wins this match by disqualification, but Reject is making sure he doesn't feel like one. Reject with two more HARD bat shots to the back and Jay is writhing in pain! Reject picks him up and props him on the turnbuckle. Reject winds up... JR: He's gonna knock his head off! Jesse: I'm glad somebody's gonna get to do it tonight! BUT NO, the SpiderBard grabs the bat away! Reject tries a punch-BLOCKED! Bard with a punch of his own! He whips him into the ropes- TILDE-BANG~~! Reject quickly gets out of there and helps Jay to his feet! JR: REJECT RUNNING LIKE A SCALED DOG, THANKS TO THE POWER OF THE POET! The bloody Jay looks at the transformed Bard, as if searching for something. He nods his head, and staggers over to the ropes, asking for a microphone. JAY: I see it now, you are have really atoned for your misdeeds my friend, and you aren't that dark angry man anymore. You are a worthy and redeemed man- enjoy your honeymoon, you crazy guy you. Jay hugs the Bard to a POP~!, and leaves the ring to receive medical attention, leaving SpidahBard to play to the crowd and revel in the heavenly sounds of "Believe in Angels." COMMERCIALS
  22. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    :: Derek the Fish~! is walking in the back and hears commotion from a locker room. He puts his vodka down and put an ear (or whatever they use to hear) to the locker room. He hears slaps and screams. The noises stop and Derek downs his glass and puts it to the door for extra hearing :: Jailbait: Thanks to you, I'm out of the tournament! Clarissa: I'm sorry- I'm distracted-I Jailbait: You going soft on me? You suddenly got yourself some morals? Clarissa: No-I- Jailbait: You didn't have morals when I picked you out of the gutter, did you? No, you were grateful, you liked being seen with an OAOAST SUPERSTAR! Clarissa: That was before you- Jailbait: Before you what? Before I had to take you down a peg or two? Ha, and that damn fool Eskimo took the fall...he took it good. Clarissa: He's going to get sent- Jailbait: Just shut the hell up! Forget Eskimo, forget it all! :: There's another loud crash, and then silence. Derek looks SHOCKED, and scuttles away. :: :: Derek returns into shot to pick up his bottle, and flaps off again :: JR: Did you see that? Jailbait FRAMED Eskimo for his own misdeeds! Jesse: Now where did you get a crazy idea like that? JR: This is sick. I hope Derek can do something about this. Jesse: Why don't YOU do something? JR: Ah...I'm just a commentator. Jesse: Sure you're not SCARED of Jailbait and his friends? JR: (ignoring the question) After these messages, its that special challenge match we saw made earlier tonight- SpiderPoet vs Jay Darring. COMMERCIALS
  23. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    ::Door, showing BANKY~!, written with a huge star emblem behind it. On the ground lies a note, and we can hear footsteps approaching from off-camera:: Banky: What's this? ::rips envelope open:: ----- Banky, You're a betting man aren't you? Well, here's one for you. Join me in the ring, tonight...Put your GM-ship on the line, and I'll put my commissionership up as well. To the winner go the spoils...but please, don't be greedy. Stephen Joseph ----- Banky: Yeah, I'm a betting man...and I got the ace in the hole ::Banky walks off, pulling out his cell phone from his pocket:: ---Fade Scene--- JR: BAH GAWD! BANKY VS STEPHEN JOSEPH! WHAT A MATCH THAT WILL BE! Jesse: The future of IntenseZone hangs in the balance...I can't wait for Banky to fire you, Jim Ross! JR: I never thought I'd say this, but Stephen Joseph, may God be with you tonight....I'm hearing of an arrival backstage! Let's check it out! (SPIDERPOET is walking through the hall and talking on his cell phone.) SP (frowning): Amanda . . . I already told you. This GameDust guy? He's off his rocker . . . no. No, you know better than that. (listens intently) I know. You just had to ask . . . I understand. (Smiles) Yes, I booked a hall....I'm sure you're gonna love it....You've got a dress picked out already? That's wonderful!...I'm sure you look fantastic . . . ("Shooter" Jay Darring enters the frame, stares at the 'Poet, and motions for him to close the phone.) SP: Listen, I've gotta go...Jay's apparently gotta talk to me about something. Okay, love you, bye. *closes phone* What's on your mind? JAY: I just wanted to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. How a girl like even agreed to date you in the first place is a minor miracle. The fact that she wants to marry you, whoa, that's like Lazarus rising from the grave. SP: I know you're trying to be funny Jay, but tread lightly with the G-d stuff please. Now does this have a point, or did you cut off a conversation with my fiance to try out your standup act on me? JAY: Yes this does have a point, and no, I'm not going to tread lightly around the "G-d stuff," because I'm not sure how committed you truly are to these beliefs of yours. SP: Why do you think that? JAY: You spent the last two months fighting your demonic brother-something I do have a lot of respect for- but do you honestly believe that a single half-assed apology and leaving the Trinity magically makes all of your past sins go away? Does the name Christian James mean anything to you? SP: (voice dropping noticeably) How is he? JAY: He got moved to a special hospital in the Caribbean. It doesn't look good. YOU did that. SP: I'm sorry. JAY: 'I'm sorry' is an empty phrase Peter. 'I'm sorry' doesn't take that dark side that I know still exists politely go away. I want you to prove it to me, because if the "bad Poet" comes back and makes that woman's life miserable I will personally hunt you down and make you wish you were never given the gift of life in the frist place. SP: So how do I prove it to you? JAY: A match tonight, between you and me. One on one- I leave my valet out of it, you leave yours out of it. To defend my former partner's honor. Not only that, it'll be a social experiment. See what happens when your buttons are pushed. If you truly are "redeemed" as you claim to be. It's trial by fire time Petey, time for your true atonement. And your parlor trick shit doesn't impress me-I'll shove that helmet up your ass and burn your balls with that pyro. SP: ....I'm gonna prove you wrong. JAY: I hope so. (Jay walks off, leaving a stunned Peter Cone standing silently in the hallway.) COMMERCIALS
  24. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    ::"As Heaven is Wide" hits and Edward Robins IS WALKING~! to the ring. He doesn't look to pleased with himself, as a portion of the crowd chants "Get up Ed! Get up Ed!", and another portion chants "LOSER!", both portions having the intelligence to not only work a television remote, but to watch heldDOWN last week. EDWARD Oh, how the righteous, the only true might ones, have fallen. It's interesting, it's always been written that the meek shall inherit the earth, but looking around here tonight, I hope to hell that's not true, for I shudder to think what lazy, gluttonous Gomorrah you assholes would bring. Oh, that's right, I forgot who I'm talking to...you are WEAK, FAT, and utterly powerless to do anything about either ::crowd boos:: But it seems I embellished a bit last week. 'Tis a mortal failing, as is my disappointment. Like Frodo, I became too enraptured in myself and my success, rather than... ::The arena goes pitch-black, but the crowd cheers as "Battery" roars through the arena and the lights come back on to reveal EL DANDY~! face to face with Edward. Edward, furious both at being cut off and at the sight of Dandy, immediately goes for a sucker-punch, but Dandy stops it and shoves Ed back, much to the crowd's delight:: DANDY Hmmmm....weak, powerless, sounds like a certain someone who couldn't keep his mouth shut a couple weeks ago. Oh that's right, I forgot who I'm talking to...for lo, you called, I respondeth, and I beateth thou down! I tooketh thine wicked soul back to Hell, and I'll have no problem doing it again tonight! ::crowd pops:: EDWARD Enough nonsense! I was just about to get you, my dear Dandy. And why was I about to get to you. In fact, I was just about to thank you. Thank you for laying me out like that. It's quite the feeling, waking up in the back, in that cold, white room. Thanks for exposing my weakness, throughout all the arena, on live television, for all the world to see. Thank you for cutting me off, for making a mockery of my sentiments and beliefs. Helps me understand myself, you know. Thank you for sticking in my head. Those few simple moves made sure you did. Helps me focus, you know. Thank you so very much, Senor, for holding me down in those ropes, so I couldn't step up and save my tag title. Thank you for helping me see it was mine. And thank you for helping me see it was bullshit. I was bullshit. Thank you very much sir, for like these fools in the audience, I am weak, and I am nothing without a title and a partner to prop me up, to give me a soap-box, so I might babble like a mad-man and think it to be earth-shattering. For acting so selfless, I want to applaud you... ::Edward turns away from Dandy, then drops the mic, whips around and SPEARS~! him to the ground. Catching Dandy off-guard, Edward pummels away at his face. Edward lifts Dandy up for a second, and goes for another sucker-punch. Dandy manages to stop it again, as the crowd cheers; Edward displays a look of shock, then an evil grin as Dandy winces and backs off, shielding his hand as blood drips from that and his face. Only now is it apparent that he had a small amount of barbed-wire wrapped around his fist the whole time. He picks up the mic again. EDWARD ...bra-fucking-vo! I just want to say, thanks! Thanks a lot! ::Edward whirls Dandy around, and grasps him for his trademark devastating Evenflow DDT. EDWARD Oh, but I could never thank you enough, kind sir! ::Edward rolls out of the ring, as the camera zooms in on Dandy's face, littered with cuts and patches of blood. The camera zooms back out, to show Edward back in the ring, raising a barbed wire bat and bringing it down on Dandy's hand that he opened up earlier. He tosses the bat aside, then, after a few good stomps on Dandy's face, props Dandy up on the ropes, barely conscious. He repositions the barbed-wire from his knuckles to his palms. EDWARD Put her there! ::Edward slaps around the falling Dandy a bit more, then grasps him for a "handshake" on his injured hand. He reaches around with his other hand to apply pressure, and slips his hand out of the barbed-wire, leaving it embedded in Dandy's hand as now a more steady flow of blood begins to drip onto the canvas. EDWARD Come come, friend, you've got no grip! What kind of gentleman are you? ::Edward laughs as Dandy finally falls off the ropes, slumped in a position not unlike Edward's at the end of heldDOWN's tag match. Edward gives him a few more stomps for good measure, until he finally falls all the way down, onto his back. EDWARD Hey Randy Mandy Dandy man, let's all play Candyland! Cute. Real cute. And I'll have no problem doing it again at SCREAMS OF NO REPLY~! ::Edward laughs again as the crowd boos and he exits:: COMMERCIALS
  25. Mystery Eskimo

    OAOAST IntenseZone - 8/12/03

    ::Camera showing a door, unmarked:: Voice: No, not like this. I didn't mean for it to go this far. Voice #2: What on earth are you talking about... Voice: Banky...Dangerous-A...Dames. You know I signed that match up Voice #2: Couldn't have predicted the brutality. Voice: And I wasn't there at the board meeting, I didn't even know Damian lost his job. Voice #2: Remorse only goes so far, its not our way to feel guilty. Voice: Then what is? Voice #2: Make a stand, do what He told you is right and just. Believe. Voice: You're telling me to go fight Banky. Voice #2: I'm only being spoken through. But I think He is right here. Voice #2: Fine. I can do this ::The door swings open at this point, and Stephen Joseph walks out, eyes ablaze in purpose...He passes by the camera, not really noticing or caring and proceeds to walk down the hallway. The door swings shut before we can see who he was speaking too...:: ---Fade Scene---
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