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Everything posted by MillenniumMan831

  1. MillenniumMan831

    One and Only HEAT Thread

    The guy's a competent wrestler and probably hasn't had 2 consecutive wins since starting in the WWFE in 1998. He's our generation's Tito Santana (1989-1993). BTW, I haven't seen THAT much Funaki love.
  2. MillenniumMan831

    A biker chain match...

    Nope. I can tell when RVD is in pain. All of Edge's faces look like... confused discomfort. Very true. Although, sometimes when RVD is selling, his face reminds me of Puddy's from Seinfeld. Ever since the end of Edge/Christian, I can't get into of any of Edge's matches. I recognize many are fine matches. But when he's in there, I couldn't care less if he wins or not.
  3. MillenniumMan831

    A biker chain match...

    I loved how Coach ended the segment with a straight face saying, "Well Rob, we all certainly respect your ring work."
  4. MillenniumMan831

    Best Ed Leslie Gimmick

    C'mon . . . The Man with No Name was by far the most innovative gimmick of all time. He had music, but no name.
  5. MillenniumMan831

    My review of WCW vs. NWO: World Tour.

    I second that . . . after you hurdle the slight learning curve, it's a VERY good game with a ton of greats.
  6. MillenniumMan831

    The Flair/Savage "Lifeguard Match" at BATB '95

    From Scott Keith at 411wrestling: - Lifeguard match: Randy Savage v. Ric Flair. This would be a lumberjack match, except with lifeguards mixed in. Nyuk nyuk. Savage knocks him down and pounds away to start, and a trio of clotheslines put Flair out. The lumberjacks put him back in, but Savage chokes him out on the apron. Savage pounds away in the corner, but Flair gets an atomic drop out of the corner and starts chopping. Savage gets tossed and the babyface lumberjacks gently put him back in, and Flair chops again. Blind charge hits elbow and Savage slugs away and knocks Flair down with an elbow. Flair Flip and he heads out and back in via the lumberjacks. Savage gets tossed to the sand and thrown back in. Suplex back in is blocked, and Savage suplexes Flair to the outside. Back in he goes. Tony notes that Savage’s suplex was not a deliberate toss over the top. I’d say SUPLEXING a guy over the top is pretty deliberate, but the rule says that you BOTH have to be in, which is why it’s not a DQ. Just in case your teacher ever puts that on a pop quiz in history class. Flair takes over with a sleeper, but Savage sends him into the corner to escape. Flair chops away and tosses Savage, which SHOULD be a DQ, but I guess this is no-DQ or something. Back in, Flair comes off the top and collides with Savage in a weird spot, and Savage whips Flair around and slugs away. Sleeper is reversed by Flair into the kneecrusher, and goes to work on the leg. Savage keeps fighting back, but hits boot on a charge and NOW! WHOO! WE GO TO SCHOOL. Figure-four, but Savage reverses pretty easily. Flair gets a delayed vertical suplex for two. Savage comes back and slugs away, and Flair goes out again and makes a run for it, only to be caught and brought back. Back in, Savage backdrops him and gets the axehandle, but AA comes in and distracts the ref. Flair charges and gets backdropped over the top, but Arn comes in again and DDTs Savage. Flair gets two. Savage gets a backslide for two. Charge hits elbow and Flair goes up top, gets slammed, and the big elbow finishes at 13:53. That was so predictable that I typed the finish like 30 seconds before it happened. Match was nothing special and lacked emotion – it just felt like a couple of guys doing their usual match. **1/4
  7. MillenniumMan831

    WWE Books the New Jersey Rex Plex

    Choken: get some of those Hulk Hogan Wrestling Buddies and paint different Beards and shit on them...NONE WILL BE THE WISER! Or precorded footage of Attitude-Era fans in the audience complete with blurred logos. "We're 25,000 strong here in the EEEEErenAAAA!!!"
  8. MillenniumMan831

    WWE Books the New Jersey Rex Plex

    At least they'll have the tarp to cover up the empty seats in house.
  9. MillenniumMan831

    WWE Books the New Jersey Rex Plex

    "Man, that Big Show is BIG! See how much BIGGER he is than Eddy Guerio this weekend at a LIVE SMACKDOWN ARENA EVENT!!!
  10. MillenniumMan831

    WWE Books the New Jersey Rex Plex

    Or the empty pink studio where the AWA went to die!
  11. MillenniumMan831

    WWF's Funniest Moments

    Just a quick shill that my review of 1990's WWF's Funniest Moments is now in the Column Corner folder. As always, feedback is welcome. For the review not this post.
  12. MillenniumMan831

    The WWF's Funniest Moments

    WWF’s Funniest Moments - For the 10th time, welcome to Millennium Man’s Coliseum Video Review. And luckily for all the elitist smarks out there, we’ve got 1990’s WWF’s Funniest Moments. This was actually released by Quality Video, but the video claims it was distributed by Coliseum; so we’ll give each company a point for effort. And now to the 30 minute spectacular. - We begin with an introduction from the Official Coliseum Announce Team, Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes. They preview the segments while Mooney fools Hayes with the ol’ BANG gun, squirting pack of gum, and the timeless hand buzzer. And with that, away we go . . . - We catch the end of an Intercontinental Title Match between The Honky Tonk Man w/ “Peggy Sue” vs. Brutus The Barber Beefcake from Boston Garden on May 7, 1988. We pick it up with Brutus’s comeback. Beefcake is a struttin’ and Honky’s a beggin’. Honky gets knocked to the parquet floor where the beating continues. Honky gets thrown back inside while “Peggy Sue” holds Beefcake back and gets him counted out. Postmatch, The Barber double noggin knocks “Sue” and HTM. Boy, if for no other reason to enjoy doing these old school CV reviews, it’s getting a chance to type “Double noggin knocker” into Microsoft Word. Anyways, “Peggy” is revealed to be Jimmy Hart and gets stripped down to HIS bra and panties. Well, Jimbo calls it a night and heads to the back while Beefcake parties around with a stolen I-C Belt. A rematch took place two months later that is on The Best of the WWF Volume 17 when Brutus brings his girlfriend, “Georgia” who mysteriously has a green tongue. Mmmmooooooovvvvving right along . . . - We now get magically whisked away to the Arco Arena in Sacramento, California because on March 6th, 1990 Hillbilly Jim is on his way to the ring to do battle with Black Bart. However, and here’s the funny part, Jim starts square dancing with The Fink. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!! Jim even puts the lucky horseshoe and Hillbilly Hat on Finkel. Alfred Hayes compares him to a well dressed scarecrow. Well, I’ll continue, but to be honest, I don’t think it will get any better than that. Let’s see if we can keep the sarcasm rolling with the next segment. - We join the Brother Love Show from November 24th, 1989. However, instead of Philadelphia’s #1, we get Rowdy Roddy Piper and a rope. He gives a horrible “I love you,” to everybody and we flashback to last week where Ravishing Rick Rude ambushed Piper with mouthwash to the eyes. Well, I’m sure some of it went in his mouth. Rude followed it up with a Rude Awakening and the obligatory attack with the podium to make the beatdown complete. Fast forward to the present day, referring to 11/24/89 and Piper doesn’t seem too pleased. Instead of soap on a rope, Piper claims he has dope on a rope. He takes the slack out of the rope, and out comes Brother Love in a giant diaper with his mouth taped shut. Piper rips the tape off and tosses a pacifier in Love’s mouth which causes good ol’ BL to head out. “Everybody’s got to pay the Piper . . . and I LOVE YOU!” from Piper closes this one out. - Ultimate Warrior vs. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan in a Weasel Suit Match from Wrestlefest 1988 (7/31/88) --- Heenan outsmarts himself by circling around the ring one too many times and finding himself on the wrong end of Warrior Rage! Back in the ring, Heenan eats some turnbuckles, but the wily Brain pokes Mr. C-Span in the throat with an international object four times before he drops it. Doh! Warrior fires it up and lets Heenan do three of those neat-O turnbuckle bumps of his before finishing him off with a sleeper!?! I don’t normally do this, but ****1/4! MOTY candidate behind the Beefcake/Honky classic we saw earlier. It takes Warrior a while, but he finally gets the suit on Heenan. The Brain finally wakes up after the Warrior leaves. Heenan starts checking out his claws and falls down chasing his own tail and trying to get that damn suit off. What a good sport! And it’s a good thing Warrior took off for the locker room because The Brain would of torn him up! - We now take a night out with The Bushwhackers as we join Luke and Butch at a swanky restaurant. Of course, they start yelling at the cameras and order bloody luck or something. Who knows? Like them or not, this is probably the easiest money these guys ever made. We see them chow down in super fast motion set to super silly music. Obviously, they’re wearing their meals by the end. I should point out that I always get the Bushwhackers confused. To me, Butch looks more like a Luke and Luke looks more like a Butch. All segueing aside, let’s try to gut the rest of this tape out. - Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. The Genius from May 16th, 1989 from a SuperStars taping --- We’re JIP. The Genius is wearing a huge afro wig that resembles his look in mid 1985. This is a return match from Royal Rumble 1990 which obviously makes the date quite a bit off, unless they did the tapings WAY in advance. Beefcake rearranges the wig which blinds The Genius and sends him tumbling out of the ring. However, Brutus gets caught in a rundown. Nice standing dropkick by Poffo. Somersault flip causes the wig to fly off. The poor Genius gets distracted by this and runs into a match ending sleeper. Postmatch, The Barber puts the wig back on The Genius and starts cutting the hair off the wig. What a goof! He even puts some of it in The Genius’s tights. Man, it’s a good thing Eddie was The Hulkster’s buddy. Speaking of which, Hulk Hogan is still to come on this, the GREATEST WWF VIDEO FEATURING THE FUNNY MOMENTS OF THE SQUARED CIRCLE AMONG THOSE RELEASED BY BOTH QUALITY AND COLISEUM!!! But first . . . - We visit The Bushwhackers in a lingerie shop shopping for their mother. I thought they were cousins. It’s pretty disturbing seeing The Bushwhackers displaying women’s underwear. Yelling and screaming ensues when an attractive model (after seeing The Bushwhackers, aren’t they all attractive?) displays some lingerie which reveals little more than her neck. Obviously, The Bushwhackers sell this like they’ve stumbled onto five porno channels in the 300s that they don’t want their mother to find out. - And FINALLY we conclude with the Gene-O-Mania training with Hulk-A-Mania skits that are also included in about 25% of all Coliseum Videos ever made. Among them are Grand Slams, Best of WWF Volume One, Hulk Still Rules, ect. And yes, the homoerotic segment with Gene carrying Hulk up the steps are included, with Gene screaming “Ah Hulk, Ah Hulk!” the whole time. - AND we go back to Mooney and Hayes to wrap this baby up. Hayes gets his long awaited revenge by bopping Mooney with a powdered pillow. Eat those laughs up! We’re out. - Final Thoughts --- Ouch, unless you can pick this up for $1.99 or less, don’t even bother. The Wrestlefest segment was alright since it’s rare and I don’t have Wrestlefest; the video or the arcade game. Plus, I’m a Lanny Poffo mark (who isn’t?), so as bad as the tape seemed, es todos buenos. Honestly, it’s no worse than 2002-2003 typical WWE television. As always, feedback is welcome. Thanks for reading!
  13. MillenniumMan831

    The Joe Schmo Show

    I think Kip quiped that they had been living there 10 days as of the day of the Bee Challenge.
  14. MillenniumMan831

    The Joe Schmo Show

    They could have Matt find out at the end of next week's episode and then have a finale to find out how Matt reacts.
  15. MillenniumMan831

    The Joe Schmo Show

    Uh oh, suits, ties, evictees coming back, a big surprise in the first 5 minutes, Matt squirming, aw man . . . Joe might know . . . say it ain't so.
  16. MillenniumMan831

    The Joe Schmo Show

  17. MillenniumMan831

    The Joe Schmo Show

    Just caught the previous segment . . . how did they explain Hutch's return, and how did everyone take the news?
  18. MillenniumMan831

    Rant of sorts

    I still can't believe the refs took the ball away from the Browns. You'd think the refs would look at, think to themselves "We shouldn't even be looking at this," come back on the field and say there is not enough evidence to change the call. Besides, everyone thought they were reviewing the spike since Couch mini-pump faked and then spiked which would be grounding. I'm done now.
  19. MillenniumMan831

    The One and Only Raw Thread

    Plus, Mark Henry has the experience advantage. And as Monsoon would say, "There's no substitute for experience."
  20. MillenniumMan831

    House Show Business must really be that bad...

    Yes. Yes it is. Thanx. Holy shit! That looks like an event from BW-3. You would think the mere mention of the WWF would be enough of a draw to bring enough people to adequately fill an arena. And it wasn't even 1995!
  21. MillenniumMan831


    PM me the digits and I'll tell you which ones to use. Haha!!!
  22. MillenniumMan831

    The One and Only Raw Thread

    Haha! F'N gold!
  23. MillenniumMan831

    The One and Only Raw Thread

    You can just tell that Cade loves selling for Flair. He'd probably take the fall right now.
  24. MillenniumMan831

    The One and Only Raw Thread

    Evolution's gonna walk for free Gonna look for two tall trees Haven't found one with nice, green leaves So we're gonna have some beans
  25. MillenniumMan831

    The One and Only Raw Thread

    This is sad.