Angel_Grace_Blue

You shut your dirty whore mouth, Dong Longer. Galatea is the awesomerest than Elvis.

I agree. You should team MANSON up with Landon. Because it's wacky, you see. Also, so I can set up a thing with a guy and some stuff. Or maybes.?

Happy birthday to MISTER MOTHERFUCKIN' GALATEA!

I'm back. Everyone's gotta play a shitty team, and I'll try to fill that requirement.

Dude, did you even listen to Skull Radio? Badger on a Pole is the only rule.

AWESOMEREST!

awesome stuff. manson is neato torpedo.

that's a gimmick that i'd love to see: sly as poochie. "hey, where is austin?" "i wonder what sly is doing right now..." "i wish austin sly would hang out with me more often!" in other news: the promo was good, as i kinda stumbled over in my previous post, but i just felt like busting toxx's chops/coconuts.

You have mis-titled this promo. It should be P.O.O.F.N.A.R. Version 2, Only Not As Cool. Also: um...i forget. good stuff, though, i guess.

after careful deliberation with my cabinet (and also my cupboards, pantry, and other storage facilities) we have hit upon the perfect stipulation. BADGER ON A POLE

An Octopus. Or, maybe Das Actionkino Schnabeltier!

thoughts on some of the stuff i read and yeah: fulminatus v killa = very good match overall. nice sequences of hitting each other and whatnot. um, yeah. good stuff. (if you can't guess, i'm very bad at this) promo with spoon and revolution 0.4 maybe? it is another crop of guys and junk. = more good stuff. and more of me sucking at comments. YES! spoon v jakers = if you haven't been following, i basically agree with what fulminatus has said in his comments, lolzerz. however, and this is most likely just me, but some of the wording in a few spots came off as odd. mostly the 'spike whips jakey to the ropes, whom then drops to the mat' or whatever. that and when you put that spike stopped in his tracts. the odd part was that a few sentences later, you got it right with stopping in tracks. yeah. wild and dangerous promo = i don't know why, but i laughed inside my head when i read the voltron line. it just seems so strange. but, yeah, huzzah for more defendings. i will read other show parts later, maybe, and then talk about them badly. YES!

oh, man, you're going to have to get back to me so i can think up a good stip. any and everyone, feel free to suggest stuff. funny, violent, whatevs.

Chris, I think you should auto-job WC for his next ten matches for trying to insinuate that you are ignorant in regards to time zones.

I'm sure Dan is such a competitor that if he had to, he'd remove a kidney, a lung, and any other auxiliary organs to make 170. Besides, they can put 'em right back in after the fight.

My dog's too damn big to share a chair with, and I'm the one with the job, so seat goes to me. I do squeeze in when it comes to a big couch, but it's too hard with a chair. Damn gigantical dog.

Or other people? Tell me where I totally screwed up and junk and like whatnot and some other stuff. Match ahoy! -------------------------- Storm zips back from a commercial to the Odyssey Arena, which is filled with wild Irish fans cheering for their favorite SWF superstars. A camera man pans around the crowd, displaying hand crafted signs such as "Toxxic Sucks Coxxic!", "MANSON Vaporized My Family, And All I Got Was This Lousy Sign", and "Kibagami Just Needs A Hug" before swooping over to Mak and King. "What a night so far here, in Belfast, Northern Ireland. We've had some rookies display their skills, but right now, it's two wily veterans of the Smarks Wrestling Federation squaring off," Mak says. "And it's a Hardcore title match, so this should please the drunken, brawling Irish," King says. "Offensive comments aside, you're correct, King. Jimmy the Doom is putting his World Hardcore title on the line against Landon 'La Cucaracha' Maddix. These two met once before for Doom's strap, and Maddix came up short. Let's see if he can turn things around tonight," Mak says. "From the rumors I've heard, that match isn't the only thing Landon comes up short in. Anyway, as much as I dislike Jimmy, I've got to pick him because, come on, it's Landon Maddix," King says. "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" The lights dim as "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson rings out across the arena. Megan Skye bursts through the curtain to a chorus of cheers. Following directly behind is Landon Maddix, who thrusts his arms to the side, prompting another burst of support. "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the World Hardcore title! Introducing first, being accompanied by Megan Skye, hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain, he stands five feet, ten inches tall and weighs in tonight at two hundred and eight pounds. He is the former World Heavyweight champion, LAAAANDON 'LAAAAA CUUUUCHAAAARRRAAAACHAAA' MMAAAAADIXXXXX!" Funyon booms. "Funyon should've pointed out who beat him for the belt," King grumbles. "Losing to Clark should be an instant contract termination." "Come on, King. It's been how many years now? Just let it go and stop trying to look for ways to knock Maddix down a peg," Mak says. "But what would I be without my seething hatred, Francis? I've said it countless times, a man without a hard rock of hatred where his heart should be is no man at all," King states. Landon saunters down the ramp, playing to the fans, posing and posturing, just generally trying to milk things as much as possible. Maddix finally reaches the ring and springs to the apron. Megan goes for the easier route and clambers up the ring steps. Skye holds open the ropes and Landon ducks inside the squared circle. 'La Cucaracha' waits for Megan in the middle of the ring, then poses with his manager. Landon notices a strand of hair out of place on the SmarkTron and quickly fixes it lest anyone else see. Skye heads out of the ring as "Personal Jesus" fades away and the lights return to normal. Normalcy is only maintained for a brief moment before the lights go out, plunging the arena into total darkness. The stamp of marching feet and the echo of chanting voices filters through the building. DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! DOOM! The lights snap back on to reveal druids completely surrounding the ring, except for the pathway to the ramp. Boots Randolph's "Yakety Sax" blares over the speakers, dispelling the spooky atmosphere brought on by the druids. Jimmy the Doom emerges from behind the curtain first, Lois the Unethical directly behind and carrying Jimmy's Hardcore title. The Doomtopians pause at the top of the ramp, surveying the scene below, then begin a slow walk down to the ring. "And his opponent, being accompanied by Lois the Unethical. From Doomopolis, Doomtopia, he stands six feet, five inches tall, and weighs two hundred, thirty pounds. He is the current and longest reigning Hardcore champion in SWF history, the Straight-Bread Sensation, JJJIIIIIIMMMYYY THE DOOOOOOOM!" Funyon roars. "That still doesn't seem right, no matter how many times I hear it," King says. "Jimmy the Doom, of all fucking people, has held the Hardcore title the longest?" "You better believe it King. But it's not just the Hardcore title, he's got the record for longest consecutive reign for any belt," Mak states. "I think I'm gonna be sick," King mumbles. Doom gets to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope while Lois hands the belt to referee Pennyfeather J. Poppycock. Pennyfeather holds the title up, then shows it to Doom and Landon before passing it over to Funyon. With no illegal objects to search for, Poppycock signals for the bell. DING! DING! DING! Doom barrels forward, throwing out a shotei that catches Maddix flush on the chin. Landon stumbles back a step but darts in with a kick to Jimmy's left leg. Maddix throws another kick into Doom's leg, then snaps off a forearm. 'La Cucaracha' presses forward with another forearm shot, but is unable to build up any more momentum as Jimmy crashes down with a headbutt. AMBERGRIS! Landon shakes the blow off as best he can, then swings up with a knife-hand chop to the side of Doom's neck. Maddix laces another knife-edge into Jimmy's neck before slamming a leg into his stomach. Landon slips on a front facelock and falls back with a DDT. 'La Cucaracha' rolls the Doomtopian away and rises, but he doesn't get a second to rest on his laurels as Jimmy clambers up as well. Doom launches a shotei that Maddix ducks and fires off a leg kick. Landon drops to the mat, coils his legs up, and slams both into Doom's right knee, causing it to buckle. "Landon is looking a little erratic right now, but I suppose facing Jimmy the Doom will do that to you. Maddix wants to go after the head and neck, but that's much easier to do with Jimmy on the mat, and the Hardcore champ is tough to keep on the canvas," Mak says. "I find that highly unlikely, Francis. I'm chalking this up to Maddix being completely useless," King says. Maddix rolls backwards, springs to his feet, and charges Doom. Landon takes flight, smashing the Hardcore champion with a forearm to the jaw. LYONNAISE! Jimmy stumbles backwards a feet feet, but remains on his feet. Maddix lands and keeps running, then slides under the bottom rope. 'The Next Generation' sprints around the ring and snatches up a spare folding chair. Doom climbs out of the ring and slowly approaches the armed Maddix. Landon turns to run, and as Jimmy gives chase, 'La Cucaracha' whips back around, braining Doom with the chair. RHIZOME! The Straight-Bread Sensation staggers, but remains standing, so Maddix bashes him again. LAGNIAPPE! Doom almost drops to one knee, and as he powers back up, he gets clocked with the chair. GADDER! Growing frustrated, Landon nails Jimmy in the stomach, and with the Hardcore champ doubled over, Maddix wails away on the back of his skull. MAHOUT! ECLOGUE! ACANTHUS! DANSEUSE! Doom finally drops from the assault, the brutality of which is so great it causes Pennyfeather's monocle to fly off his face. "Nice bit of subterfuge by Maddix to catch Jimmy unawares with the first chair shot, but that flurry might have been excessive," Mak says. "It is kind of fitting that the only way Landon could get an advantage was to do what comes naturally to him, run away," King says. Maddix flips Jimmy onto his back and makes a lateral press. Poppycock scurries out of the ring to count the pin. One! Tw-No! Pennyfeather's top hat flies off his head due to shock, but he diligently holds up a single finger. "Kick out from the champion, and wouldn't you think that everyone on the roster would know that it takes a lot of punishment for Doom to stay down?" Mak asks. "Oh, I'm sure the smarter wrestlers know that, but this is Landon Maddix, Francis. He lost to Alan Clark if you don't remember," King says. Landon pushes himself up and pulls Doom into a seated position. Maddix scrambles behind the Straight-Breader, runs, and leaps, yanking Jimmy's head forward. Doom's head snaps back after Landon releases, and 'La Cucaracha' charges in with a basement dropkick. GLOSSOLALIA! "Nice neck snap from Maddix, followed up with a dropkick, and those should soften Jimmy up for either the Land of Nod or the Shining Wizard," Mak says. "Of course, those moves would be a lot more effective if Maddix didn't suck so much," King points out. Maddix tries to haul Jimmy off the ground, but catches a shotei to the jaw for his troubles. Doom rises to his feet and snaps off another shotei. Landon staggers backwards, but not out of Doom's range as the Straight-Breader blasts Landon with a body kick. The Hardcore champ closes the distance and whips Maddix into the ring steps. ECLOGUE! "It looks like Jimmy the Doom is mounting a bit of a comeback, and while not the strongest, he's easily overpowering Maddix tonight," Mak says. "Plus, he's not that far behind him in terms of speed, and from what both men have shown in the past, Doom is definitely tougher than Landon, so there's really no way Maddix can win. Might as well call the match right now and save us all the trouble," King says. Rather than continue the attack on Landon, Jimmy heads towards the guard rail and deftly scoops up a druid. Doom presses the cloaked figure above his head, then launches him at Maddix. ABROGATE! The druid lands flush on Landon's chest, knocking him against the steps. Jimmy moves down the line and grabs up another hooded monk and hurls the poor guy at Landon. 'La Cucaracha' manages to duck this human missile, and the druid slams into the ring post. ANTEDILUVIAN! "This might be the first time in his career that Jimmy is using those druids as offensive weapons, and I can't imagine that it's legal to toss them around like that," Mak says. "They're just druids, Mak. They aren't even real people. Well, except for the ones that happen to be Smarks Wrestling Federation wrestlers disguised as druids so they can sneak attack Doom," King points out. Jimmy snatches the next druid by the front of his robe and launches him for Maddix. Probably against better judgment, Landon catches the druid in mid-air, prompting Doom to dash towards him. Jimmy leaps and dropkicks the duo, knocking Landon flat on his back. APOGEE! Poppycock considers counting the druid's pin on Maddix, but is saved from the decision as Jimmy pulls Landon from under the druid. Doom shoves 'the Next Generation' back in the ring, and before rolling in himself, Jimmy grabs the dented chair. The Straight-Bread Sensation lifts Maddix off the mat, and attempts an Irish whip, but Landon puts on the brakes. Maddix clutches Jimmy's wrist and closes in, trapping Doom's arm against the side of his head. Landon quickly falls backwards, driving Jimmy's face into the mat. LUCUBRATION! Landon scrambles away, and as Doom pushes himself to his knees, Maddix leaps, dropping down with both knees across Jimmy's head and neck. BRYOPHYTA! "And it looks like the tables have turned again after that Complete Shot by Maddix, followed up with a big knee drop," Mak says. "It's not so much that the tables have turned, as it is the other end of the see-saw has come down. It'll go back and forth for a while, but Jimmy, like fat children, can finish it whenever he wants by putting his weight down. He's toying with Landon," King says. "So should we be expecting 50 Cent to say that he loves a girl like Jimmy the Doom hates sandwiches?" Mak wonders. "Whoms?" King asks, playing his 'Dorky White Guy' card. Landon tries to pull Doom up by the hair, but can't get a grip on Jimmy's short locks, so Maddix takes hold of Doom's ears. 'La Cucaracha' backs away to arm's length, then unleashes a rapid-fire barrage of kicks to the Hardcore champ's face. GORMANDIZE! EUKARYA! AMYGDALA! ZYMOGEN! Maddix releases the slightly dazed Straight-Breader, slips behind him, and slaps on an inverted facelock. Landon spins out, slamming his elbow into Doom's chest and driving him into the mat. Maddix rolls over and makes a lateral press. One! Two-No! Poppycock's bow tie spins wildly as he signals the kick out. "Landon Eye almost got two for the challenger, but Doom has his title for a little while longer," Mak says. "Did you just forget everything I said a few minutes ago?" King asks. "Doom might be flat on his back right now, but he's in total control of this contest." Grumbling, 'La Cucaracha' gets up and drags Jimmy into a seated position. Landon backs away, then rushes Doom and snaps his neck forward. Maddix sprints to get behind Jimmy, then darts forward with another leaping neck snap. Maddix turns on his heel and dashes towards the Straight-Bread Sensation. Landon jumps, feet thrust forward, and scissors Doom around his waist. 'The Next Generation' cinches in a guillotine choke and leans backwards as he tries to live up to the hold's name and remove Jimmy's head from his shoulders. "Doom is stuck in Wet Cement right now, and this could spell trouble for the Straight-Bread Sensation. He doesn't have the benefit of rope breaks in the Hardcore environment, so he's got to rely on himself to get free," Mak says. "Hey, now! You only get to call it Wet Cement when used by Tom Flesher. When that loser steals it, you have to call it The Shitty Choke That Landon Uses," King says. Regardless of the name employed, the move is effective, as Jimmy is stuck. Poppycock leans in to see if Doom would like to submit, and his coattails flip up when the Doomtopian refuses. Landon tries to squeeze tighter, but is already straining to keep the Straight-Breader from moving. With his arms free, Doom puts them to good use and begins pounding Maddix with body shots, but 'La Cucaracha' grits his teeth and keeps the hold locked on tight. Pennyfeather checks on Jimmy's condition again, and this time his monocle falls out upon being ignored by the Hardcore champion. Jimmy stops throwing punches, and instead plants his hands on the mat and pushes forward, allowing himself to get to a kneeling pose. "Jimmy might be trying to rise up and slam Landon into the canvas to jar him loose, but Doom runs the risk of assisting Maddix with a DDT," Mak says. "I'm pretty sure that Doom would be able to survive a DDT. On the plus side, if he did that, he'd be on top of Maddix, giving him a vast array of moves," King points out. Doom slowly reaches a vertical base with Landon hanging off his neck, and then grabs Maddix by the legs. Jimmy pulls Landon higher up on his own body. With Maddix's legs under his armpits, Jimmy clasps his hands together, and snaps backwards, driving Landon into the mat. ACANTHUS! "Devastating suplex by Jimmy the Doom, and I think that was a pretty good counter to...The Shitty Choke That Landon Uses," Mak says after a severe glare from the Suicide King. "Oh, man, I hope that fall gave Landon brain damage. Not that anyone could tell, of course, but at least then he could be of some use by giving up his liver to one of these drunken Irishmen. You'd think they'd cut back on the drinking a bit when the leading cause of death for the past five centuries has been scoliosis of the liver," King says. "Actually, King, it's cirrhosis of the liver. Scoliosis is curvature of the spine," Mak points out. "Well, excuse me, Doctor House, but my ass isn't jacked into WebMD like a crappy version of the Matrix. And no, I don't mean the two sequels," King grumbles. Doom crawls over and makes a lateral press on Landon, making sure to hook his far leg. One! Two! T-No! Poppycock's bow tie revolves madly while both his top hat and monocle go flying. Pennyfeather scrambles to retrieve them as Jimmy pulls Maddix off the canvas. Doom snaps off a palm to Landon's jaw, then whips 'the Next Generation' to the ropes. The Straight-Bread Sensation bends low and scoops Maddix off his feet. Jimmy flips Landon over and plants him with an inverted atomic drop. Maddix stumbles backwards, leaving Doom just enough space to stand on one leg, then leap, cracking Landon under the chin with a crane kick. ANALYSAND! "Yak Kick from Doom, and he might be looking to finish this match right here," Mak says. "It's about damn time. I can barely hold back the bile that results every time I watch Landon in the ring," King says. Doom drags Maddix to his feet and pops him with an elbow to the forehead. Jimmy crashes down with a headbutt, then follows that up with a shotei. With Landon reeling backwards, the Straight-Bread Sensation casually sticks out both hands, wrapping them around Landon's neck. Doom lifts Maddix up, turns around the ring slowly, then drops down, slamming him to the mat. LORGNETTE! Jimmy tosses his legs on top of Landon's arms and Pennyfeather, cranium accessories trembling, slides down to count the pin. One! Two! Thr-No! Poppycock's hat slowly teeters from side to side before falling off, and that appears to be the catalyst, as his tails fly up, his bow tie spins crazily, and his monocle nearly exits the ring as he holds up two fingers. "Doom almost retained the title with that Jimmy Bomb, but Landon got a shoulder up. I figure you'll say this, King, so I'll save you the trouble. Doom should hit Maddix in the head about a hundred times with the chair, and then pin him," Mak says in his best mock-King voice. "You forgot about the part where Jimmy throws Landon off a cliff and onto some pointy rocks," King says. Shaking his head in disbelief, Doom hauls Maddix off the canvas and grabs the South Dakotan by the wrist. Before Jimmy can twist his arm, though, Landon launches himself at the Hardcore champ, catching him in the mouth with a forearm. AMERCEMENT! Doom refuses to let go, at least until Maddix laces into him with knife-edge chops to the neck. Jimmy releases Landon, and 'La Cucaracha' quickly throws his right arm across Doom's chest. Maddix dips his head under Jimmy's arm, leans the Doomtopian forward a moment, then snaps him into the mat. GENUFLECT! "Crash Landon '05, and it looked like Jimmy was going for Doomsday," Mak says. "He was just teasing it, Mak. Had Jimmy really wanted it, he would have gotten it. Like Landon Maddix could stop it. He couldn't stop Alan Clark from kicking his ass and taking his title, could he?" King asks. Landon flips Jimmy over and makes a lateral press. One! Two! Thre-No! Pennyfeather holds two fingers aloft as he snatches up his top hat and smooths his coattails, wondering why he still wears such things to referee a wrestling match. "Maddix almost won the Hardcore belt there, but Jimmy kicked out. I think both men are getting desperate, King, and desperation breeds mistakes. It's just a question of who will slip up first, and if his opponent can capitalize," Mak says. "Oh, and don't make the joke that both should be able to capitalize as Landon and Jimmy are educated men that know how to make large letters." "That's a joke? What decrepit mummy came up with that?" King wonders. Landon snatches a handful of Doom's shirt and pulls the Straight-Breader up by it. Maddix snaps off a forearm to the face, then a knife-hand chop to Jimmy's neck before slipping behind the Hardcore champion. 'The Next Generation' wraps his hands around Doom's neck and pulls him down, onto Landon's knees. CATECHOLAMINE! Maddix slides his legs around Doom's waist and leans in, slapping on an inverted facelock. "Lungblower followed by the Land of Nod! Maddix could have this match in the bag," Mak says. "While you are completely wrong, and, I'm beginning to think, borderline retarded, that Lungblower is a good set up to the Land of Nod, or any other sleeper or choke hold," King says. "Absolutely, King. Anytime you can force air from your opponent and then make sure he can't get any more, you've just turned onto Easy Street," Mak says. Poppycock crouches down to see if Doom wants to continue, and the Straight-Breader signals that he does. Pennyfeather's hat falls off, but he ignores it should Jimmy suddenly change his mind. Maddix tries to force that change as he leans back. Not getting the right leverage from the body scissors, Landon clambers to his feet and assumes the standard back-mounted position, but Jimmy still won't submit. Poppycock slips off his coat as the tails begin to rise, and he remains focused on the Hardcore champion. "I've got to hand it to Jimmy the Doom, he does not go down easily. Let me guess, Megan Skye does?" Mak asks. "You've been reading the bathroom walls, too?" King shoots back. 'The Next Generation' cinches the hold tighter, but Doom still will not submit. Pennyfeather's monocle flies out, but the referee catches it in mid-air and affixes it back in place. Jimmy reaches back and begins flailing away at Landon's body, his arms slowly moving upwards. The Straight-Bread Sensation stops as he reaches Maddix's face, and instead of punching or slapping, begins caressing the skin. "Stop it! Dude, seriously, make him stop," Maddix begs. Poppycock simply shrugs, as even were there rules in place, there's nothing on the books about gently rubbing the opponent's face. There probably should be, though. However, there isn't, and Doom continues doing just that. "Skins...to muching...have beens...of for softnessed..." Jimmy gurgles. Maddix is now sufficiently creeped out enough to loosen his grip, but not break it. Doom's hand slides down Landon's face and to his throat, where it shoots in, causing 'La Cucaracha' to release his hold. Maddix rolls away, coughing and sputtering, as does the Straight-Breader. "Hand of Doom from the champion to get him out of the Land of Nod, and, King, was it just me or did it look like Jimmy was stroking Landon's face?" Mak asks. "No! Shut up! Shut up! Never happened! La, la, la, la!" King yells, eyes clenched tight and hands over ears as he tries to erase that sequence from his memory. Poppycock quickly slips on his coat and hat before either competitor can attempt to finish the match. Landon is the first to rise, but is slow to go near Doom after his last encounter. Jimmy drags himself to the ropes and pulls himself up with their assistance. The Straight-Breader turns to face Maddix, and the two men charge. Jimmy ducks his head moments before Landon jumps, and the Doomtopian snares him in a waistlock as they pass. The Hardcore champ quickly spins around and flings Maddix to the canvas. GIMCRACKERY! "Jimmy-Plex from the champ, and it looks like Maddix has had his spirit crushed after failing to pick up the victory with the Land of Nod," Mak says. "Land of Nod? When did that happen?" King asks, apparently successful in blocking out the memory. Jimmy pulls Maddix to his feet and boots him in the stomach. Doom takes hold of Landon's hair and slams a knee into his face. XYLEM! Doom lands another knee before walking behind 'the Next Generation', pulling him into an inverted facelock, hooking his left leg and planting Landon with a brain buster. GAMETANGIA! RHIZOME! "Doom Driver after some nasty knees to the head. I thought Jimmy was going for the Doom Factor when he had Landon doubled over, but I guess the Straight-Bread Sensation has something else in mind," Mak says. "Hopefully it's something that breaks all of Landon's bones," King says gleefully, Instead of breaking bones, Doom reaches out and makes a cover. One! Two! Three! No! Poppycock is nearly rendered nude due to so many articles of clothing flying off, but he remains a professional and holds up two fingers. "Maddix with the kick out and two and ninety-nine hundredths! I wonder if Doom is getting worried right now. He might have to pull out the big guns. That is, if he has any big guns," Mak says. "That's a good point, Francis. Jimmy is usually pretty dominant so he never resorts to anything too extreme, but he might have to get creative in his quest to smash Maddix into a quivering slurry of awful," King says. Jimmy lifts Landon off the mat and whips him into the corner. Maddix crashes back-first in the turnbuckles, his arms draped across the top rope the only thing keeping him from sliding down to the canvas. The Straight-Breader charges in, cracking 'the Next Generation' with a flying back elbow that does send Maddix to the ground. LIMN! "I wonder what Jimmy is going for with Maddix in the corner. Maybe a top rope Doom Factor, but that's a little risky, especially since he hasn't even tried the standard version. While Landon isn't on Doom's level of resiliency, he's certainly a tough customer to put away in his own right," Mak says. "He can't be that difficult considering that Alan Clark beat him," King says. "You know, you've been saying that a lot tonight, King," Mak notes. "That's because it bears repeating as often as possible. Landon Maddix lost to Alan Clark!" King shouts. Doom pulls 'La Cucaracha' up and puts him in the corner with a double palm thrust. The Hardcore champ tangles Landon's arms and legs in the rope, then smacks him with a shotei. Jimmy heads to the adjacent corner and snatches up the dented chair. The Straight-Bread Sensation wedges the chair between the top and middle buckles, and against Maddix's face. The Doomtopian back away to the opposite corner, then sprints towards Landon as 'La Cucaracha' struggles to free himself. Jimmy leaps in the air and plants his right foot in the middle of the chair. ANIMADVERSION! Poppycock's monocle falls and shatters as Jimmy pulls the chair away, revealing Landon to be trying out another luchador persona, as he's sporting a bright crimson mask. "Flying front kick from Jimmy, and Maddix has gone limp!" Mak exclaims. "From the tales I've heard, that's not unusual for him," King says. Jimmy extracts Landon's limbs and tosses the unconscious Cockroach to the mat. The Hardcore champion flips Maddix over before his DNA, the thoroughly un-sexy kind, can stain the mat, and Doom makes a lateral press. One! Two! Three! No shock or awe this time, as Landon doesn't budge even after Pennyfeather's hand strikes the mat for the third time and signals for the bell. DING! DING! DING! "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and still Hardcore champion, the Straight-Bread Sensation, JJJJJIIIIIIMMMMMYYYY THE DOOOOOOM!" Funyon booms. "It was grueling, violent, bloody, and for a few seconds, really, really uncomfortable, but Jimmy the Doom has won the match and retained his Hardcore title yet again. You know, for a second, I thought the match was going to turn into the bad, gross kind of hardcore," Mak says. "What the hell are you talking about?" King asks. "Oh, yeah, that's right. Never mind," Mak replies. Lois takes the belt to Jimmy herself as "Yakety Sax" plays again. Megan slides into the ring to check on Landon, as do several members of the medical staff while Storm fades to a commercial for Frost-Brand Individual Waffle Squares: "We take delicious waffles cut them into bite-sized squares and seal each one in their own air-tight container to lock in that great waffle goodness!"

With my most likely horribly inaccurate count, Muzz has 14. This is because he's awesomer than most. I've got like, 7, and I've had four times as many characters as Muzz, lolerz.

It's kind of funny. King referencing McCheese stood out to me on two points. First, when McCheese returned, the crucifixion was explained to have been faked. Secondly, King was just barely bumped to the WF around McCheese's return I think (As I faced him back when he was still a face in a LHW tournament match), so I'm pretty sure King hadn't joined when the Mayor got nailed. Could be wrong, but, it's not like anyone other than Muzz, Zed, and myself would remember it. If we can remember it correctly.

What the hell, Sly, you know you're supposed to job Landon. I paid you good fake money and everything! Grr. I'll read the show laters and junk. Yeahs.

forgot this in my first post, but whoo-hoo, a whole year. huzzah and junk. also, wild and dangerous, you can go to hell. i thought i was only like another month out from beating mag's record of most days ever with a belt (only it'd be better since it was in one reign), but you two gotta have those damn tag belts...defend them and lose to someone. and junk. grrr.

I'm in trouble because this time around, I don't have the advantage of hitting Maddix with a steel goose. What? Nobody else remembers our match at that crappy Peace Arch and the sculpture exhibit that Landon most likely no-showed? What ever

LHW was around during the IGN days, Cruiserweight was not. I wish I could remember why the LHW was deactivated and then why the cruiser was invented instead of just reactivating the LHW. Meh. Also, Landon, I think you forgot Toxx on the 'Most title reigns' thing. he's got 4 world heavy runs. and junks.

This has been of recent topic in chat, so, uh, yeah, i drew it.

Kibs is going to be doing this to fools, only drugs won't be the impetus.