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Sandman9000

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Everything posted by Sandman9000

  1. Sandman9000

    The Most Obvious Factor

    Her name is Eldridge, and she set the fire herself.
  2. Sandman9000

    Pets

    Tom I'm kidding about punishing him. I wouldn't do that. honest. He's got Agnes chained up outside. No one thinks that's cruel or unusual.
  3. Sandman9000

    Wrestling and Censorship

    In addition, the PCN will be posting their latest review of an IWS show, this time UnF'NSanctioned 2003, sometime this week, most likely Friday. Yes, it's a cheap plug, but humans may want to read our review and then purchase the DVD at the lowered price. So, we're helping!
  4. I'm guessing no one here knows what "affiliate" means. HINT: It DOESN'T mean "producer" or "provider".
  5. Sandman9000

    Pets

    Cats > Humans.
  6. Sandman9000

    An ECW rivial

    No ECW > WWE's ECW. There is no way in hell they'll capture the feeling and emotions which made ECW special. No way at all. It'll be watered down bullshit, where they'll go all crazy that chairs and tables are being used.
  7. Sandman9000

    Thumbtack

    Bullshit. There is no way one person could fit all that into their mouth.
  8. Sandman9000

    Board Invasion!

    not guilty coughbullshitcough
  9. Sandman9000

    Board Invasion!

    I'm not going to say that we're mostly posting in Sexuality, and I'm definitely not going to say whom I'm posting as.
  10. Sandman9000

    Board Invasion!

    Now, I'm not going to say what we're doing, and I'm not going to say that we're invading http://teenforums.studentcenter.org, and I'm not going to say that people should join us and stuff, and I'm not going to say that you don't have to register, and I'm not going to say anything else. In fact, I'm not going to say anything at all.
  11. Sandman9000

    Board Invasion!

    Actually, what happened was that I went to a computer lab and just hit up every comp there, doing the ten clicks on the ads and then moving on. By the time I was done, I had 15,000, which I foolishly gave to CWM. But if anyone has access to multiple computers, just use that to earn moolah.
  12. Sandman9000

    Nerd Test

    28.571428571428573% nerd blood flows through your veins. ::Goes to drink at the "nerd-only" fountains::
  13. Sandman9000

    Fantasy NBA League?

    Well, let's analyze this shit, shall we? Goodbye to Alfdogg Asylum (13th), Crimson Storm (14th), Gwangju White Tigers (15th), and Gotham Harlequins (16th). Whether through bad luck, bad moves, or bad technology, these four got the short end of the stick. THE OVERALL STRUCTURE #1 Celtics and #2 Guerreros recieve byes in the Championship bracket, after flip-flopping places in the last week of the season, with Celtics winning 8-0, a sure sign of momentum going into the playoffs. Celtics will face the winner of #4 Team Failure~!/#5 Team 2004 matchup, while Guerreros will face the winner of the #3 Whalers on the Moon/#6 Better than Utah matchup. #7 The Court Jesters and #8 The Alleged Rapists recieve byes in the Consulation bracket, after the two teams tied in Week 21. The Court Jesters will face the winner of the #10 Pogo the Monkey/#11 Fear the Slayers game, while the Alleged Rapists will face the winner of the #9 The S.H.I.T./#12 Pocono Poison game. THE TEAMS Championship Bracket #1: Celtics (114-53-1) Key Players: Stephon Marbury, Antonie Walker, Ben Wallace You don't take #1 just by being lucky. With Marbury and Walker, you have points-a-plenty, and Wallace keeps you in contention with rebounds and blocks all by himself. David Wesley and Chucky Atkins provide assists as well, while Erick Dampier helps out Wallace with the big man stats. This team destroyed the #2 team in the last week of the season, and it'll take a heckuva run for another team to take the Celts down. #2: Guerreros (110-56-2) Key Players: Paul Pierce, Ricky Davis, Shareef Abdur-Rahmin, Sam Cassell The only other team to win 110+ games, the Guerreros have taken some hits this year simply because key players have been traded to team in real life where their roles aren't to be stars. Ricky Davis moved from Cleveland to Boston, where he's second fiddle to Paul Pierce, and his stats show. Similarly, Abdur-Rahim moved from Atlanta to Portland, where after battling Darius Miles for the SF starting spot, he's moved into a sixth-man role and is barely averaging over double-digits per game. Still, this is a good team, and one which will be tough to beat. The lack of a true noticeable peremiter player may hurt with rebounds and blocks, but this team should be able to outscore just about anyone. #3: Whalers on the Moon (106-59-3) Key Players: Shaquille O'Neal, Andrei Kirilenko, Gilbert Arenas If Shaq is healthy, he keeps you in a fantasy game all by himself, especially in points, rebounds and blocks. Just witness his latest game, where he pulled down 26 boards. Whalers took a risk in drafting the Diesel, knowing that he's productive when healthy, but that's when he's healthy. Fortunately, it's time for the playoff stretch, which should ensure that the big fella should be in uniform and on the court, and even with a team which could have Kobe Bryant, Karl Malone and Gary Payton on the floor as well, Shaq is the first offensive option. Kirilenko and Arenas provide scoring as well. If Shaq goes on a monster run and Whalers' other players stay steady, this team could roll over people. #4: Team Failure~! (103-60-5) Key Players: Amare Stoudamire, Peja Stojakavic, Jason Kidd A team which could have been a contender is hurt by the loss of Kidd. Kidd is nearly averaging a double-double in points and assists, as well as being the NBA's assist leader at 9.5 a game, and now he's on the IL. Stoudamire's been iffy all year and hurt, although he looks to be okay now, and Stojakavic has been overachieving all season on a Kings' team which now has to get Chris Webber his shots. Eddie Jones has disapointed this year, while Brad Miller has turned heads, although his minutes are down to get Webber back in his game. This is a team which sorely misses Kidd, and could be potentially upsetted. #5: Team 2004 (103-65-0) Key Players: Steve Francis, Gary Payton, Elton Brand Three solid players, but question marks as well. Francis is the most explosive of the three, but he's been having issues lately, and those issues are seeping over into his game. Now is not the time for your leading player to be blowing up mentally. Payton's job is to get the ball to Shaq, Kobe, Shaq, Malone, and Shaq, getting his points when available, and Gary's not happy about that. Once all four Hall of Famers are on the court, Gary's the last option of the four, and his points will go down, although his assists should go up. Brand is solid and consistent, but with the Clippers not making the playoffs, it's unknown if they will adopt a spoiler role or just try to get through the last of the 82 games. Richard Jefferson and Keith Van Horn can provide some big games, and I believe this team can pull an upset over the Failures~!. #6: Better Than Utah Key Players: Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Jerry Stackhouse It always helps to have the leading canidate for MVP on your side. Garnett is leading the league in rebounds and is in the top five for points scored, and is capable of keeping Utah competitive in both categories by himself. After Garnett, the team is a little weak. Allen can provide scoring, as can Stackhouse, but they are also on teams who aren't going to the NBA playoffs, and Stackhouse had initally been shut down for the season. Garnett can keep you alive in 4-5 categories, enough to win, but it takes the rest of the team to put Utah over the top, and I don't know if that can happen. Consolation Bracket #7: The Court Jesters (93-75-0) Key Players: Baron Davis, Dirk Nowitzki, Dwayne Wade Nowitzki and Davis are always dangerous, and with their teams in playoff contention, these two should be turning it up for the stretch drive. Wade is on a Heat team which could squeak into the East playoffs, but has emerged as a star on a Heat team in turmoil since Pat Riley quit and Alonzo Mourning left. The Jesters will miss T.J. Ford, who is on the IL. Ford provided the Jesters with assists, something which Davis and Carlos Arroyo will need to provide, as well as Wade. Richard Hamilton and Caron Butler are also capable of providing big games. The Court Jesters barely fell short of making the Championship Bracket, and could salave some pride by wiping the floor with the Consolation Bracket #8: The Alleged Rapists (88-79-1) Key Players: Chris Webber, Andre Miller, Jamal Mashburn Webber has finally gotten back into basketball, and is going through some struggles while he looks to regain his shooting touch. While the Kings can't win without him, one needs to wonder how long will they let Webber struggle for before they let Mike Bibby and Peja Stojakavic take over instead, and put Brad Miller back into the lineup. Andre Miller's good, but not the player he was in Cleveland a couple of years ago. Jamal Mashburn's on the IL, and no one else on the roster looks like they can make some major contributions. This is a high seed which could be going home early. #9: The S.H.I.T! (83-80-5) Key Players: Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Steve Nash Our first inactive team, run by banned TSM poster Johnson. His goal was to worry about scoring first, taking care of the other four categories later. His gamble of drafting Kobe Bryant paid off, as though Kobe has missed time and had injuries, he's playing some of the best ball of his career. Johnson also gambled and drafted James, who is amazingly living up to the hype. Nash provides assists and scoring, as does Sprewell. The Fecal Matter lack size, with only Vlade Divac inside, and won't be winning blocks and rebounds soon. Also, with the team inactive, they only play Nash, Bryant, Sprewell, James, Divac, and Kerry Kittles, leaving the other three members on the bench. While this should be a sign that the SHIT will be gone soon, the first four can keep this team alive by themselves. If the SHIT take home the consolation prize, one would have to wonder if Johnson could have won the overall championship had he not been banned. #10: Pogo the Monkey (73-94-1) Key Players: Mike Bibby, Rasheed Wallace, Tim Duncan Another inactive team, this one has some decent players, but suffers from only playing six in a nine player matchup. Even more mind-boggling is leaving Tim Duncan on the bench; even though Duncan had some injuries earlier in the season, leaving an MVP calibur player sitting is inexcusable. Bibby provides assists, Wallace's numbers are down since leaving Portland, and Pogo also only plays six players: Bibby, Reggie Miller, Rashard Lewis, Drew Gooden, Wallace, and Vladimir Radmanovic. This inactive team has been getting destroyed lately, and the playoffs should be no exception. #11: Fear The Slayers (72-95-1) Key Players: Jermaine O'Neal, Michael Finley, Speedy Claxton This team is going nowhere without O'Neal. O'Neal was recently hurt, and if Slayers lose their top scorer and rebounder, they will not win in the playoffs. Looking at the team, they have plenty of guys who can provide double-digit scoring and solid numbers in assists and rebounds, but no one who can explode for 30 or more points. Kwame Brown's been on a role lately, but he's an iffy player who's on the ropes with his point guard, Gilbert Arenas. Finley's not the first option on a Dallas offense, and Slayers needs Claxton back from the IL for added points and assists. This is a team which could be easily swept out of the playoffs early. #12: Pocono Poison (63-100-5) Key Players: Allen Iverson, Michael Redd, Karl Malone Poison barely made the playoffs, winning a tie-breaker over Alfdogg Asylum. This team is severely crippled with Iverson not playing, as he provided points and assists, and is one of a few players who's a triple-double threat every time he steps onto the floor. Michael Redd's a sleeper, and Karl Malone should be back on the floor soon. Antwan Jamison can provide some scoring, but without Iverson, this team is not going to win. THE MATCHUPS #3 Whalers on the Moon vs. #6 Better Than Utah Previous Matchups: Week 10 (4-4) Only six wins separate these teams, which shows you how competitive it is at the top. In a battle of Garnett vs. Shaq, these two players almost cancel each other out, as both bring the points, rebounds and blocks. This means it's up to the other players, and Kirilenko and Arenas will do more damage than Allen and Stackhouse. Whalers win 7-1. #4 Team Failure~! vs. #5 Team 2004 Previous Matchups: Week 3 (Failure 7-1), Week 18 (Failure 6-2), Each have 103 wins, but the Failures have 5 ties, while 2004 have none. That being said, each team has questions marks around them, but Jason Kidd is ultimately more important than Stevie Francis is, and the Failures will be handicapped by Kidd's loss severely, to the point where they won't be able to win. Team 2004 wins 6-2, finally beating the Failures. #9 The S.H.I.T. vs. #12 Pocono Poison Previous Matchups: Week 15 (Poison 5-2) Even though he's facing an inactive team, Poison isn't going anywhere without Allen Iverson. Just the combo of Bryant, James, Nash and Sprewell will be enough to take out the Poison, who can only counter with Michael Redd. S.H.I.T. wins 5-3, scoring and assists. #10 Pogo the Monkey vs. #11 Fear the Slayers Previous Matchups: Week 5 (Slayers 7-1), Week 20 (Slayers 8-0) Slayers need to be breathing deeply that they drew an inactive team, one which isn't as explosive as S.H.I.T. in the players they are playing. However, if Jermaine O'Neal is hurt and needs to miss time, the Slayers could feel the embarassment of losing to an inactive team in the playoffs. I'm going to call a 4-4 tie, and I'm curious as to how a tie-breaker will work in such a situation.
  14. Sandman9000

    Board Invasion!

    Apparently not, since I'm gone. Although, after what I'm did, I'd be surprised if I wasn't banned. I'm guessing the admin heard what I did, or gave his admin name to one of the mods.
  15. Sandman9000

    NCAA Men's BBall Tourney DAY ONE!

    Well, I've lost my championship game, 3/4 of my final four, and the only teams I have left for the ELITE 8 are Xavier and Illinois. Illinois will lose to Duke, X-Men to Texas, and I will have done everything wrong possible. Combine this with my poor showing in the TSM basketball fantasy league, my upcoming last place finish in the baseball league, and I think it's safe to say that I should go ahead and give my testicles back. I'm embarassed to be male. For a person who wants to get into the sports broadcasting industry, I clearly have NO FUCKING CLUE what I'm doing or talking about EVER. God I suck.
  16. We'll never top those days. Although some of us have tried..... ::Looks over at CWM and winks::
  17. Sandman9000

    Would somebody please slap me

    ::Beats Dibs with a shovel::
  18. Sandman9000

    Psychology behind the Irish Whip?

    It can. In some IWA-MS matches, specifially those with either Ian Rotten or Chris Hero, they rarely hit the ropes, if at all. They also rarely throw closed fists, though don't take that to mean they don't use strikes at all, because they do. They sure as hell do. Also, I haven't seen any of the ROH Pure Division yet, but it wouldn't surprise me if they rarely use the ropes.
  19. Sandman9000

    Risky Bumps

    The Nick Mondo/John Zandig suicide attempt.
  20. Sandman9000

    Fantasy NBA League?

    30 and 19 for KWAME BROWN~! Who the hell told him that Michael was gone, and it was all right to play basketball again?
  21. Sandman9000

    The Eve of St. Agnes

    ST. AGNES’ Eve—Ah, bitter chill it was! The owl, for all his feathers, was a-cold; The hare limp’d trembling through the frozen grass, And silent was the flock in woolly fold: Numb were the Beadsman’s fingers, while he told 5 His rosary, and while his frosted breath, Like pious incense from a censer old, Seem’d taking flight for heaven, without a death, Past the sweet Virgin’s picture, while his prayer he saith. II. His prayer he saith, this patient, holy man; 10 Then takes his lamp, and riseth from his knees, And back returneth, meagre, barefoot, wan, Along the chapel aisle by slow degrees: The sculptur’d dead, on each side, seem to freeze, Emprison’d in black, purgatorial rails: 15 Knights, ladies, praying in dumb orat’ries, He passeth by; and his weak spirit fails To think how they may ache in icy hoods and mails. III. Northward he turneth through a little door, And scarce three steps, ere Music’s golden tongue 20 Flatter’d to tears this aged man and poor; But no—already had his deathbell rung; The joys of all his life were said and sung: His was harsh penance on St. Agnes’ Eve: Another way he went, and soon among 25 Rough ashes sat he for his soul’s reprieve, And all night kept awake, for sinners’ sake to grieve. IV. That ancient Beadsman heard the prelude soft; And so it chanc’d, for many a door was wide, From hurry to and fro. Soon, up aloft, 30 The silver, snarling trumpets ’gan to chide: The level chambers, ready with their pride, Were glowing to receive a thousand guests: The carved angels, ever eager-eyed, Star’d, where upon their heads the cornice rests, 35 With hair blown back, and wings put cross-wise on their breasts. V. At length burst in the argent revelry, With plume, tiara, and all rich array, Numerous as shadows haunting fairily The brain, new stuff d, in youth, with triumphs gay 40 Of old romance. These let us wish away, And turn, sole-thoughted, to one Lady there, Whose heart had brooded, all that wintry day, On love, and wing’d St. Agnes’ saintly care, As she had heard old dames full many times declare. 45 VI. They told her how, upon St. Agnes’ Eve, Young virgins might have visions of delight, And soft adorings from their loves receive Upon the honey’d middle of the night, If ceremonies due they did aright; 50 As, supperless to bed they must retire, And couch supine their beauties, lily white; Nor look behind, nor sideways, but require Of Heaven with upward eyes for all that they desire. VII. Full of this whim was thoughtful Madeline: 55 The music, yearning like a God in pain, She scarcely heard: her maiden eyes divine, Fix’d on the floor, saw many a sweeping train Pass by—she heeded not at all: in vain Came many a tiptoe, amorous cavalier, 60 And back retir’d; not cool’d by high disdain, But she saw not: her heart was otherwhere: She sigh’d for Agnes’ dreams, the sweetest of the year. VIII. She danc’d along with vague, regardless eyes, Anxious her lips, her breathing quick and short: 65 The hallow’d hour was near at hand: she sighs Amid the timbrels, and the throng’d resort Of whisperers in anger, or in sport; ’Mid looks of love, defiance, hate, and scorn, Hoodwink’d with faery fancy; all amort, 70 Save to St. Agnes and her lambs unshorn, And all the bliss to be before to-morrow morn. IX. So, purposing each moment to retire, She linger’d still. Meantime, across the moors, Had come young Porphyro, with heart on fire 75 For Madeline. Beside the portal doors, Buttress’d from moonlight, stands he, and implores All saints to give him sight of Madeline, But for one moment in the tedious hours, That he might gaze and worship all unseen; 80 Perchance speak, kneel, touch, kiss—in sooth such things have been. X. He ventures in: let no buzz’d whisper tell: All eyes be muffled, or a hundred swords Will storm his heart, Love’s fev’rous citadel: For him, those chambers held barbarian hordes, 85 Hyena foemen, and hot-blooded lords, Whose very dogs would execrations howl Against his lineage: not one breast affords Him any mercy, in that mansion foul, Save one old beldame, weak in body and in soul. 90 XI. Ah, happy chance! the aged creature came, Shuffling along with ivory-headed wand, To where he stood, hid from the torch’s flame, Behind a broad hail-pillar, far beyond The sound of merriment and chorus bland: 95 He startled her; but soon she knew his face, And grasp’d his fingers in her palsied hand, Saying, “Mercy, Porphyro! hie thee from this place; “They are all here to-night, the whole blood-thirsty race! XII. “Get hence! get hence! there’s dwarfish Hildebrand; 100 “He had a fever late, and in the fit “He cursed thee and thine, both house and land: “Then there ’s that old Lord Maurice, not a whit “More tame for his gray hairs—Alas me! flit! “Flit like a ghost away.”—“Ah, Gossip dear, 105 “We’re safe enough; here in this arm-chair sit, “And tell me how”—“Good Saints! not here, not here; “Follow me, child, or else these stones will be thy bier.” XIII. He follow’d through a lowly arched way, Brushing the cobwebs with his lofty plume; 110 And as she mutter’d “Well-a—well-a-day!” He found him in a little moonlight room, Pale, lattic’d, chill, and silent as a tomb. “Now tell me where is Madeline,” said he, “O tell me, Angela, by the holy loom 115 “Which none but secret sisterhood may see, “When they St. Agnes’ wool are weaving piously.” XIV. “St. Agnes! Ah! it is St. Agnes’ Eve— “Yet men will murder upon holy days: “Thou must hold water in a witch’s sieve, 120 “And be liege-lord of all the Elves and Fays, “To venture so: it fills me with amaze “To see thee, Porphyro!—St. Agnes’ Eve! “God’s help! my lady fair the conjuror plays “This very night: good angels her deceive! 125 “But let me laugh awhile, I’ve mickle time to grieve.” XV. Feebly she laugheth in the languid moon, While Porphyro upon her face doth look, Like puzzled urchin on an aged crone Who keepeth clos’d a wond’rous riddle-book, 130 As spectacled she sits in chimney nook. But soon his eyes grew brilliant, when she told His lady’s purpose; and he scarce could brook Tears, at the thought of those enchantments cold, And Madeline asleep in lap of legends old. 135 XVI. Sudden a thought came like a full-blown rose, Flushing his brow, and in his pained heart Made purple riot: then doth he propose A stratagem, that makes the beldame start: “A cruel man and impious thou art: 140 “Sweet lady, let her pray, and sleep, and dream “Alone with her good angels, far apart “From wicked men like thee. Go, go!—I deem “Thou canst not surely be the same that thou didst seem. XVII. “I will not harm her, by all saints I swear,” 145 Quoth Porphyro: “O may I ne’er find grace “When my weak voice shall whisper its last prayer, “If one of her soft ringlets I displace, “Or look with ruffian passion in her face: “Good Angela, believe me by these tears; 150 “Or I will, even in a moment’s space, “Awake, with horrid shout, my foemen’s ears, “And beard them, though they be more fang’d than wolves and bears.” XVIII. “Ah! why wilt thou affright a feeble soul? “A poor, weak, palsy-stricken, churchyard thing, 155 “Whose passing-bell may ere the midnight toll; “Whose prayers for thee, each morn and evening, “Were never miss’d.”—Thus plaining, doth she bring A gentler speech from burning Porphyro; So woful, and of such deep sorrowing, 160 That Angela gives promise she will do Whatever he shall wish, betide her weal or woe. XIX. Which was, to lead him, in close secrecy, Even to Madeline’s chamber, and there hide Him in a closet, of such privacy 165 That he might see her beauty unespied, And win perhaps that night a peerless bride, While legion’d fairies pac’d the coverlet, And pale enchantment held her sleepy-eyed. Never on such a night have lovers met, 170 Since Merlin paid his Demon all the monstrous debt. XX. “It shall be as thou wishest,” said the Dame: “All cates and dainties shall be stored there “Quickly on this feast-night: by the tambour frame “Her own lute thou wilt see: no time to spare, 175 “For I am slow and feeble, and scarce dare “On such a catering trust my dizzy head. “Wait here, my child, with patience; kneel in prayer “The while: Ah! thou must needs the lady wed, “Or may I never leave my grave among the dead.” 180 XXI. So saying, she hobbled off with busy fear. The lover’s endless minutes slowly pass’d; The dame return’d, and whisper’d in his ear To follow her; with aged eyes aghast From fright of dim espial. Safe at last, 185 Through many a dusky gallery, they gain The maiden’s chamber, silken, hush’d, and chaste; Where Porphyro took covert, pleas’d amain. His poor guide hurried back with agues in her brain. XXII. Her falt’ring hand upon the balustrade, 190 Old Angela was feeling for the stair, When Madeline, St. Agnes’ charmed maid, Rose, like a mission’d spirit, unaware: With silver taper’s light, and pious care, She turn’d, and down the aged gossip led 195 To a safe level matting. Now prepare, Young Porphyro, for gazing on that bed; She comes, she comes again, like ring-dove fray’d and fled. XXIII. Out went the taper as she hurried in; Its little smoke, in pallid moonshine, died: 200 She clos’d the door, she panted, all akin To spirits of the air, and visions wide: No uttered syllable, or, woe betide! But to her heart, her heart was voluble, Paining with eloquence her balmy side; 205 As though a tongueless nightingale should swell Her throat in vain, and die, heart-stifled, in her dell. XXIV. A casement high and triple-arch’d there was, All garlanded with carven imag’ries Of fruits, and flowers, and bunches of knot-grass, 210 And diamonded with panes of quaint device, Innumerable of stains and splendid dyes, As are the tiger-moth’s deep-damask’d wings; And in the midst, ’mong thousand heraldries, And twilight saints, and dim emblazonings, 215 A shielded scutcheon blush’d with blood of queens and kings. XXV. Full on this casement shone the wintry moon, And threw warm gules on Madeline’s fair breast, As down she knelt for heaven’s grace and boon; Rose-bloom fell on her hands, together prest, 220 And on her silver cross soft amethyst, And on her hair a glory, like a saint: She seem’d a splendid angel, newly drest, Save wings, for heaven:—Porphyro grew faint: She knelt, so pure a thing, so free from mortal taint. 225 XXVI. Anon his heart revives: her vespers done, Of all its wreathed pearls her hair she frees; Unclasps her warmed jewels one by one; Loosens her fragrant boddice; by degrees Her rich attire creeps rustling to her knees: 230 Half-hidden, like a mermaid in sea-weed, Pensive awhile she dreams awake, and sees, In fancy, fair St. Agnes in her bed, But dares not look behind, or all the charm is fled. XXVII. Soon, trembling in her soft and chilly nest, 235 In sort of wakeful swoon, perplex’d she lay, Until the poppied warmth of sleep oppress’d Her soothed limbs, and soul fatigued away; Flown, like a thought, until the morrow-day; Blissfully haven’d both from joy and pain; 240 Clasp’d like a missal where swart Paynims pray; Blinded alike from sunshine and from rain, As though a rose should shut, and be a bud again. XXVIII. Stol’n to this paradise, and so entranced, Porphyro gazed upon her empty dress, 245 And listen’d to her breathing, if it chanced To wake into a slumberous tenderness; Which when he heard, that minute did he bless, And breath’d himself: then from the closet crept, Noiseless as fear in a wide wilderness, 250 And over the hush’d carpet, silent, stept, And ’tween the curtains peep’d, where, lo!—how fast she slept. XXIX. Then by the bed-side, where the faded moon Made a dim, silver twilight, soft he set A table, and, half anguish’d, threw thereon 255 A cloth of woven crimson, gold, and jet:— O for some drowsy Morphean amulet! The boisterous, midnight, festive clarion, The kettle-drum, and far-heard clarionet, Affray his ears, though but in dying tone:— 260 The hall door shuts again, and all the noise is gone. XXX. And still she slept an azure-lidded sleep, In blanched linen, smooth, and lavender’d, While he from forth the closet brought a heap Of candied apple, quince, and plum, and gourd; 265 With jellies soother than the creamy curd, And lucent syrops, tinct with cinnamon; Manna and dates, in argosy transferr’d From Fez; and spiced dainties, every one, From silken Samarcand to cedar’d Lebanon. 270 XXXI. These delicates he heap’d with glowing hand On golden dishes and in baskets bright Of wreathed silver: sumptuous they stand In the retired quiet of the night, Filling the chilly room with perfume light.— 275 “And now, my love, my seraph fair, awake! “Thou art my heaven, and I thine eremite: “Open thine eyes, for meek St. Agnes’ sake, “Or I shall drowse beside thee, so my soul doth ache.” XXXII. Thus whispering, his warm, unnerved arm 280 Sank in her pillow. Shaded was her dream By the dusk curtains:—’twas a midnight charm Impossible to melt as iced stream: The lustrous salvers in the moonlight gleam; Broad golden fringe upon the carpet lies: 285 It seem’d he never, never could redeem From such a stedfast spell his lady’s eyes; So mus’d awhile, entoil’d in woofed phantasies. XXXIII. Awakening up, he took her hollow lute,— Tumultuous,—and, in chords that tenderest be, 290 He play’d an ancient ditty, long since mute, In Provence call’d, “La belle dame sans mercy:” Close to her ear touching the melody;— Wherewith disturb’d, she utter’d a soft moan: He ceased—she panted quick—and suddenly 295 Her blue affrayed eyes wide open shone: Upon his knees he sank, pale as smooth-sculptured stone. XXXIV. Her eyes were open, but she still beheld, Now wide awake, the vision of her sleep: There was a painful change, that nigh expell’d 300 The blisses of her dream so pure and deep At which fair Madeline began to weep, And moan forth witless words with many a sigh; While still her gaze on Porphyro would keep; Who knelt, with joined hands and piteous eye, 305 Fearing to move or speak, she look’d so dreamingly. XXXV. “Ah, Porphyro!” said she, “but even now “Thy voice was at sweet tremble in mine ear, “Made tuneable with every sweetest vow; “And those sad eyes were spiritual and clear: 310 “How chang’d thou art! how pallid, chill, and drear! “Give me that voice again, my Porphyro, “Those looks immortal, those complainings dear! “Oh leave me not in this eternal woe, “For if thou diest, my Love, I know not where to go.” 315 XXXVI. Beyond a mortal man impassion’d far At these voluptuous accents, he arose, Ethereal, flush’d, and like a throbbing star Seen mid the sapphire heaven’s deep repose; Into her dream he melted, as the rose 320 Blendeth its odour with the violet,— Solution sweet: meantime the frost-wind blows Like Love’s alarum pattering the sharp sleet Against the window-panes; St. Agnes’ moon hath set. XXXVII. ’Tis dark: quick pattereth the flaw-blown sleet: 325 “This is no dream, my bride, my Madeline!” ’Tis dark: the iced gusts still rave and beat: “No dream, alas! alas! and woe is mine! “Porphyro will leave me here to fade and pine.— “Cruel! what traitor could thee hither bring? 330 “I curse not, for my heart is lost in thine, “Though thou forsakest a deceived thing;— “A dove forlorn and lost with sick unpruned wing.” XXXVIII. “My Madeline! sweet dreamer! lovely bride! “Say, may I be for aye thy vassal blest? 335 “Thy beauty’s shield, heart-shap’d and vermeil dyed? “Ah, silver shrine, here will I take my rest “After so many hours of toil and quest, “A famish’d pilgrim,—saved by miracle. “Though I have found, I will not rob thy nest 340 “Saving of thy sweet self; if thou think’st well “To trust, fair Madeline, to no rude infidel.” XXXIX. ’Hark! ’tis an elfin-storm from faery land, “Of haggard seeming, but a boon indeed: “Arise—arise! the morning is at hand;— 345 “The bloated wassaillers will never heed:— “Let us away, my love, with happy speed; “There are no ears to hear, or eyes to see,— “Drown’d all in Rhenish and the sleepy mead: “Awake! arise! my love, and fearless be, 350 “For o’er the southern moors I have a home for thee.” XL. She hurried at his words, beset with fears, For there were sleeping dragons all around, At glaring watch, perhaps, with ready spears— Down the wide stairs a darkling way they found.— 355 In all the house was heard no human sound. A chain-droop’d lamp was flickering by each door; The arras, rich with horseman, hawk, and hound, Flutter’d in the besieging wind’s uproar; And the long carpets rose along the gusty floor. 360 XLI. They glide, like phantoms, into the wide hall; Like phantoms, to the iron porch, they glide; Where lay the Porter, in uneasy sprawl, With a huge empty flaggon by his side; The wakeful bloodhound rose, and shook his hide, 365 But his sagacious eye an inmate owns: By one, and one, the bolts full easy slide:— The chains lie silent on the footworn stones;— The key turns, and the door upon its hinges groan. XLII. And they are gone: ay, ages long ago 370 These lovers fled away into the storm. That night the Baron dreamt of many a woe, And all his warrior-guests, with shade and form Of witch, and demon, and large coffin-worm, Were long be-nightmar’d. Angela the old 375 Died palsy-twitch’d, with meagre face deform; The Beadsman, after thousand aves told, For aye unsought for slept among his ashes cold.
  22. Sandman9000

    2 Tuff Tony interview on 411

    http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/columns/...columns_id=2511 Tony's mad underrated. While he primarily does deathmatch stuff (as far as I know, I haven't heard of him doing anything else), he transitions better from spot to spot better than others (coughpondocough). He had a decent match with JC Bailey at KODM2K3, although that match was mostly Bailey bumping like he hated his own life. However, there was a good under-lining storyline to that match (the DM veteran beats the shit out of the 19 year old kid before getting too cocky and loses the match.) Tony's good people. Too bad he hangs out with ICP, but that's life.
  23. Sandman9000

    Lack Of Common Sense

    Some people find regular sodas to be too sweet.
  24. Sandman9000

    The Eve of St. Agnes

    I didn't write it. Have John Keats' children. And that's gonna be hard because he's dead. And feel fortunate that you didn't have to read that for a class. Or take a midterm on that bitch. Goddamn.
  25. Sandman9000

    Jim Harrick, Jr. ruins teaching

    http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=1757776 Yeah, you're going to win a TEACHER OF THE YEAR award for a class where ATTENDANCE was OPTIONAL, the FINAL EXAM was OPTIONAL, and you essentially DID NOTHING. Brilliant, that "man" is.
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