samoa jake 1 (12:54:03 AM): in order to keep piss from leaving, we're gonna get alfdogg banned
OAOAST Hoff (12:54:11 AM): wait, what?
OAOAST Hoff (12:54:14 AM): I mean Im for it
samoa jake 1 (12:54:28 AM): not just from tsm, but the entire internet
OAOAST Hoff (12:54:37 AM): wow!
samoa jake 1 (12:57:55 AM): however, it will require every single thing you own
OAOAST Hoff (12:58:29 AM): worth it
samoa jake 1 (12:58:51 AM): first, you have to stick everything you own into a woodchipper with a blender on the other side
OAOAST Hoff (12:59:08 AM): done
samoa jake 1 (12:59:15 AM): that was quick
OAOAST Hoff (12:59:56 AM): I work fast
samoa jake 1 (1:00:06 AM): are you sure you're not homeless?
OAOAST Hoff (1:00:41 AM): ......
OAOAST Hoff (1:00:44 AM): I have a computer
OAOAST Hoff (1:00:49 AM): and...an ethernet cable
OAOAST Hoff (1:00:52 AM): and....a hat
OAOAST Hoff (1:00:54 AM): so I live in the hat
samoa jake 1 (1:01:18 AM): so the computer and ethernet cable went through the woodchipper
OAOAST Hoff (1:01:25 AM): ........wait
OAOAST Hoff (1:01:33 AM): no I...stole them
OAOAST Hoff (1:01:40 AM): so I'm on the computer still
samoa jake 1 (1:01:46 AM): do you own the woodchipper?
OAOAST Hoff (1:01:56 AM): .......y--no
OAOAST Hoff (1:01:59 AM): no.
samoa jake 1 (1:02:26 AM): good, otherwise i was gonna ask how you got the woodchipper through the woodchipper
samoa jake 1 (1:03:06 AM): now, is the blender somewhat full?
OAOAST Hoff (1:03:24 AM): I don't have a blender.
OAOAST Hoff (1:03:29 AM): I have....blacktop...
samoa jake 1 (1:03:33 AM): why not?
OAOAST Hoff (1:03:45 AM): I....well I have a computer.
OAOAST Hoff (1:03:51 AM): and an ethernet cable....
samoa jake 1 (1:03:56 AM): sigh
OAOAST Hoff (1:03:57 AM): and I had a hat but...you know.
samoa jake 1 (1:04:03 AM): can you "borrow" a blender then?
OAOAST Hoff (1:04:12 AM): sure
OAOAST Hoff (1:04:19 AM): okay done
samoa jake 1 (1:04:36 AM): now, scrape up everything that went through the woodchipper into the blender
OAOAST Hoff (1:04:45 AM): done
samoa jake 1 (1:04:59 AM): it might be a little pulpy, so puree it all up
OAOAST Hoff (1:05:18 AM): got it
samoa jake 1 (1:05:38 AM): now, you've got a half-dozen syringes, right?
OAOAST Hoff (1:06:11 AM): of course!
samoa jake 1 (1:06:41 AM): put your pureed possessions into the syringes
OAOAST Hoff (1:07:09 AM): k
samoa jake 1 (1:07:24 AM): now, this is going to be the tough part
samoa jake 1 (1:07:33 AM): you...you need to eat a car
OAOAST Hoff (1:07:36 AM): was I supposed to.......
OAOAST Hoff (1:07:37 AM): wait
OAOAST Hoff (1:07:39 AM): .....
OAOAST Hoff (1:07:44 AM): do I need to eat ANOTHER car?
samoa jake 1 (1:07:46 AM): not just any car, but a car that seats 7
OAOAST Hoff (1:07:53 AM): .....still a valid question
samoa jake 1 (1:07:57 AM): so, like an escalade or something
OAOAST Hoff (1:08:05 AM): Navigator ok?
samoa jake 1 (1:08:13 AM): how's the gas mileage?
OAOAST Hoff (1:08:30 AM): ....I don't know. it gave ME some gas
samoa jake 1 (1:08:40 AM): how long ago was the car eating?
OAOAST Hoff (1:08:55 AM): about an hour
samoa jake 1 (1:09:04 AM): geez. i don't know
samoa jake 1 (1:09:14 AM): you might want to go ahead and eat another car, just to be on the safe side
samoa jake 1 (1:09:24 AM): remember, this isn't about you or me, this is about piss, and finally banning alf
OAOAST Hoff (1:09:52 AM): yeah, you're right.
OAOAST Hoff (1:09:58 AM): for the common good.
OAOAST Hoff (1:10:01 AM): one sec
samoa jake 1 (1:13:29 AM): WELL?
samoa jake 1 (1:18:18 AM): h000000000000f...
OAOAST Hoff (1:18:27 AM): okay....done.
samoa jake 1 (1:18:39 AM): at least i'm sure you chewed
samoa jake 1 (1:19:25 AM): so now we have a half-dozen syringes filled with all of your worldly possessions, and you've eaten a large automobile, right?
OAOAST Hoff (1:19:30 AM): right
samoa jake 1 (1:20:14 AM): now, this one comes directly from piss, so don't yell at me about it, ok?
OAOAST Hoff (1:20:31 AM): ok
samoa jake 1 (1:20:38 AM): we.....we have to....
samoa jake 1 (1:20:42 AM): christ, i can't believe this
samoa jake 1 (1:20:48 AM): this is for piss, this is for piss
samoa jake 1 (1:20:55 AM): we have to get......cwm.....a college degree
OAOAST Hoff (1:21:00 AM): I'm out.
samoa jake 1 (1:21:05 AM): and not just a college degree, but a master's degree
OAOAST Hoff (1:21:09 AM): pffffffft
samoa jake 1 (1:21:11 AM): and say that he's smarter then us
OAOAST Hoff (1:21:21 AM): well I mean I can lie, sure
OAOAST Hoff (1:21:28 AM): but CWM, a college degree?
samoa jake 1 (1:21:32 AM): yeah, we can easily lie to his face
samoa jake 1 (1:21:41 AM): i don't know how we're gonna get a college dgree
samoa jake 1 (1:21:48 AM): how fast does that university of phoenix work?
OAOAST Hoff (1:21:55 AM): it IS online......
samoa jake 1 (1:22:28 AM): do they have master's?
samoa jake 1 (1:22:43 AM): think it might be possible to print out a fake degree in photoshop or paint or something?
OAOAST Hoff (1:22:51 AM): I got it
samoa jake 1 (1:22:59 AM): excellent
samoa jake 1 (1:23:05 AM): heh heh. piss underestimated our brilliance
samoa jake 1 (1:24:34 AM): done yet?
OAOAST Hoff (1:24:42 AM): one min
samoa jake 1 (1:24:59 AM): last time you said that it took almost ten
OAOAST Hoff (1:25:17 AM): http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v342/hoffv1/degree.jpg
samoa jake 1 (1:25:32 AM): perfect
OAOAST Hoff (1:25:41 AM): pretty authentic, eh?
samoa jake 1 (1:25:42 AM): ok, let me check the list here
OAOAST Hoff (1:25:44 AM): k
samoa jake 1 (1:26:03 AM): possessions, check, syringes, check, car, check, degree, check, gonna just say we did the man secks, so check
OAOAST Hoff (1:26:17 AM): good call
samoa jake 1 (1:26:27 AM): yeah, part of piss' list is that we have secks with each other
samoa jake 1 (1:26:34 AM): i'm just gonna tell everyone we did
OAOAST Hoff (1:26:38 AM): yeah we did that, you were catcher
samoa jake 1 (1:26:42 AM): follow my lead if people question us
OAOAST Hoff (1:26:51 AM): yeah okay you were the bitch though
samoa jake 1 (1:26:54 AM): actually...his list said you were on bottom
samoa jake 1 (1:26:56 AM): sorry
OAOAST Hoff (1:26:59 AM): !
OAOAST Hoff (1:27:01 AM): it did not
samoa jake 1 (1:27:12 AM): we didn't even do it, so stop bitching
samoa jake 1 (1:27:15 AM): this is for piss, remember?
OAOAST Hoff (1:27:17 AM): :-(
OAOAST Hoff (1:27:18 AM): ok
samoa jake 1 (1:27:28 AM): remember, if he questions us, let me do the talking
OAOAST Hoff (1:27:38 AM): k
samoa jake 1 (1:27:43 AM): so, the last item on the list is to go over to alf's house
OAOAST Hoff (1:27:48 AM): k
samoa jake 1 (1:27:56 AM): and cut his power lines
samoa jake 1 (1:28:24 AM): piss figures that no one knows how to repair things in indiana, so if we break something expensive and important, and can run away fast enough, he'll never get back on the intarweb
OAOAST Hoff (1:28:48 AM): nice
samoa jake 1 (1:29:02 AM): i guess that's why you had to eat a car
samoa jake 1 (1:29:07 AM): no, wait, piss included bus fare
OAOAST Hoff (1:29:12 AM): tight
samoa jake 1 (1:29:13 AM): that's rather nice of him
samoa jake 1 (1:29:18 AM): we should thank him for that later
OAOAST Hoff (1:29:43 AM): yep
samoa jake 1 (1:30:17 AM): so, do we have anything to cut the power with?
OAOAST Hoff (1:30:31 AM): syringes?
samoa jake 1 (1:30:45 AM): i don't think that will work
samoa jake 1 (1:30:52 AM): we can try
samoa jake 1 (1:32:10 AM): we there yet?
OAOAST Hoff (1:32:21 AM): yes?
samoa jake 1 (1:32:32 AM): did the syringes work?
OAOAST Hoff (1:32:59 AM): no :-(
samoa jake 1 (1:33:04 AM): fucknuts
samoa jake 1 (1:33:22 AM): we need something big and sharp
OAOAST Hoff (1:33:40 AM): MY PENI5!
samoa jake 1 (1:33:51 AM): um, fear of electrocution?
OAOAST Hoff (1:34:03 AM): nope
samoa jake 1 (1:34:14 AM): well, if you put it like that...
OAOAST Hoff (1:34:50 AM): *SCHLONG*
samoa jake 1 (1:35:11 AM): did it work?
OAOAST Hoff (1:35:31 AM): nope
OAOAST Hoff (1:35:33 AM): felt good tho
samoa jake 1 (1:35:35 AM): um
samoa jake 1 (1:35:59 AM): well, that's great and, um, all
samoa jake 1 (1:36:05 AM): but we still need to cut alf's power supply
OAOAST Hoff (1:36:08 AM): *shrug*
samoa jake 1 (1:36:19 AM): you just wanna chew through it?
OAOAST Hoff (1:36:24 AM): okay!
OAOAST Hoff (1:36:28 AM): *chomp*
OAOAST Hoff (1:36:32 AM): *chomp*
OAOAST Hoff (1:36:35 AM): *CHOMP*
OAOAST Hoff (1:36:39 AM): bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
OAOAST Hoff (1:36:42 AM): got it!
samoa jake 1 (1:37:02 AM): and the final, final step is to burn down his house
samoa jake 1 (1:37:05 AM): i've got this covered
samoa jake 1 (1:37:14 AM): seems awfully mean of piss, but i'll do it
OAOAST Hoff (1:37:19 AM): go for it
samoa jake 1 (1:37:34 AM): ::YOGA FLAME::
OAOAST Hoff (1:37:40 AM): YEAH!
samoa jake 1 (1:37:59 AM): WE WIN!
OAOAST Hoff (1:38:05 AM): WOOT!
samoa jake 1 (1:38:07 AM): NO MORE ALF AND PISS WON'T LEAVE!
samoa jake 1 (1:38:09 AM): wait, there's more
OAOAST Hoff (1:38:11 AM): YES!
OAOAST Hoff (1:38:12 AM): wait
OAOAST Hoff (1:38:14 AM): ok?
samoa jake 1 (1:38:23 AM): we have to say the name of bob barron three times each
samoa jake 1 (1:38:26 AM): that's....odd
samoa jake 1 (1:38:28 AM): but ok
samoa jake 1 (1:38:37 AM): bob barron bob barron bob barron
OAOAST Hoff (1:38:47 AM): bob barron bob barron bob barron
samoa jake 1 (1:39:11 AM): i don't know what that will do, other then cause barron to come in and flame us. but he's a hater anyway
samoa jake 1 (1:39:26 AM): so, just gotta let piss know.
samoa jake 1 (1:39:27 AM): ok?
OAOAST Hoff (1:39:32 AM): opk
samoa jake 1 (1:40:01 AM): make a new thread, or post in the one you made
OAOAST Hoff (1:40:09 AM): you do it
samoa jake 1 (1:40:25 AM): new thread then