Art Sandusky

Nope, had no idea until I got here. Sorry, Matt!

I don't believe this Frank Zapper guy was singing about me.

Praise be to the city library and now only living like, two inches from it. BRUJ0, yes, the pimp hand is strong. Okay, that's a lie. I don't lie anymore. Maybe. I've been trying to keep up with the place using phone internet, but I was never allowed to log in (phone's problem, it wasn't because I'm black). This meant I couldn't see the fun folders and Marney showed back up and the 2008 elections thread is terrible. Not terrible, but bloated and in dire need of the axe. I haven't looked at it since I've been here just now, but I trust it remains whatever the hell it is. Have a presidential thread and a congressional thread or something, with an extra one for those wacky 527's and fringe characters. It'd be all "hey, Ron Paul said something" and "lol what's his problem" and then "Ron Paul is a worse choice for president than my three year old parapalegic cousin" (ding!) and then "well, you know, it's not bad in principle if you look at this and that and..." (X) You get the idea. How's everyone been?

What, you want some sources for all that? It's all common sense, I don't need sources or proof.

Who wouldn't want to conserve, besides most of these "true conservatives," who see no need to conserve anything (energy, green space, animals, the constitution)? I'm glad that Marvin has finally heard the call that so many oppressed white males in this country receive when they're in their early to mid-20s and decide that they're tired of being held back and told what dismissive terms for minorities they can use, how fuel-efficient their cars have to be, and that they have to wear helmets on motorcycles in case their pointy heads get stuck in the pavement. They cook up great catchphrases like "nanny state," "liberal media," and my personal favorite, "homicide bomber." It's a shame that everyone's dumping on you for fervently supporting a man with such impressive political credentials as having his own radio and television shows. Still, Mr. Beck is a man who stands up for the things that we, as real Americans, want. Americans are TIRED(!) of a non-torture policy that dates back to the Revolution. Americans are SICK(!) of people hopping across OUR BORDER with another country to take jobs that most Americans deem unfit for themselves. Americans are FED UP(!) with the notion that campaign finances have to be transparent and subject to increased oversight. I don't know about you, or the guy next to you, but Americans are NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE. All Marvin wants is genuine political leadership that speaks to the sensibilities of our time. We're at war, there's no time for whiny liberalism. This is a time for regular guys to stand up and say "I AM THE MASTER OF THE WOMB!" How dare these radical, pseudo-terrorist nutjobs take our country from us. I'll bet they'd enjoy watching Osama bin Laden rape your wife while you attempt to defend your home with spitballs since the govermnent took away your assault rifle. After that, they'd let a Mexican go do their job for them while they receive a big, fat glazed ham from their local welfare office every day. Every single day, another ham that YOU have to pay for because you actually work for and pay taxes on your delicious pork-based dinner. And this McCain clown actually found fault with the '01 and '03 tax cuts. This must mean that he endorses your wallet being handed over to the IRS every day. Less taxes are good because we can always print more money to pay for things, and people get to keep more of their own! This would let them go out and stimulate the economy if only the Mexicans hadn't taken all of our jobs and Arabs hadn't blown up all of our buildings. This is about Americans versus a four-pronged assault from people with dark skin who want our jobs, dark-skinned people who want to blow us up, hippies who want us to respect the planet that GOD HIMSELF gave us, and icky poor people. This is the struggle of the 21st century, one that will last generations and generations, perhaps even into the 22nd century. The nonsense must end here. Picking on Marvin, I swear. You all ought to be ashamed.

Like you'd lose in a dicksucking contest. Fake girl is kinda cute. Shame it's a twisted sociopath at the keyboard.

I can't wait to have a co-Presidency! It's going to be so exciting, just like the 90s were! I'm glad that when we enter the 21st century next January it'll be with the same reliable faces I had in the last one. Did you know that a black dude won South Carolina before too, and it didn't mean SHIT! Who in the world would want someone whose only experience is saying they wanted to be President in kindergarten? And man oh man, do we need a President who will not only call the Republican party of the 80s the party that challenged the wisdom of the time, but list Reagan amongst their favorite Presidents of all time! Most of all, we need a President that will continue the polarization of America by constantly calling attention to their lightning rod status. I personally can't wait for four years of furious name calling and scandal hunting. Go home, Clintons. Please, at least send Bill home. I've never seen someone crap all over the good will they had with people in such a short time as him. I don't know why anyone would conclude that the Right is afraid of Hillary. They're licking their chops. After all, this would put the "lookin' out for the average man!" talking heads right back in business after the country has tired of their empty rhetoric. I'd say they're more frightened of Obama since he isn't an old, reliable target. Also, even though she's past that phase of life, I'm putting the over/under on "that time of the month" references at 3,856 in the first year of her prospective Presidency. If nothing else, this campaign season has soured me on the Democratic party. Seeing the establishment line up very early behind an inferior candidate and then desperately try to defend ludicrous attacks and old-fashioned, cutthroat politics is disappointing. My guess is that the papers and various figures would rather endorse the candidate they think will win, rather than the better one. Business as usual is fun, and easy! All of these people are breathing a sigh of relief that the war has drifted from the public consciousness, because no one who voted for that orgy of profiteering and death deserves to be President of this country. Anyone who voted for the Patriot Act should also be disqualified in the eyes of the Left, but I guess we decided to gloss over the time when the party was a bunch of sheep being gently lead down the path of paranoia and fear. This won't be like 2004, when I didn't really like Kerry but felt obligated to defend him since he was the considerable lesser of two evils, and then voted for him as well. If Hillary wins the nomination I'm voting for whoever the Communist party nominates or some equivalent.

There's this kid next to me who wants his friends to check out the Dora the Explorer CD-ROM that only he can hear or interact with and they're totally not having it even though he's enthusiatically grabbing chairs for them to gather 'round the old monitor. None of these kids know what a VCR is or what the 90s were like. I'm going to walk home, in the lane with oncoming traffic.

I'd post a picture of someone crouching over the board and taking a huge shit into its mouth if the right mouse buttons weren't disabled here.

As much as I hate 'em, Michigan might be unfairly voted against after this week. They're still really good despite a loss of biblical proportions. If they're 0-4 a month from now (certainly possible, but 2-2 more likely), then pile on all you want. Iggy's got this one right.

I want California to fucking break off and float away. Yeah, the people in it too. Fuck you guys in your stupid ears. Your stupid, stupid ears.

If you think there needs to be an angle for Tennessee to focus against Florida, you're nuts. What's vital is the guys who had zero experience going in to tonight's game will have two games under their belt by then, with one already against an extremely talented team at the skill positions. Note: I don't want to turn into Kotzaramu here, but maybe it's just me thinking I'm posting too much about one team. On the whole day/week, I'm glad Michigan lost in such spectacular fashion. I'm more glad that it was against a sort of local school (they're SoCon, as is the College of Charleston [no football there], so their win will get huge press in the paper tomorrow), and one that has that video. Wake/BC was the best game I got to actually sit and watch almost completely. Wake's effective but toe-curlingly boring brand of offense will improve, but no ACC title this year. Offensive impotence doomed Notre Dame, which sucked because Georgia Tech looks liberated without the Gilded Tattoo under center. National healing aside, Virginia Tech is going to annoy everyone as the year goes on by running a lot and pulling touchdowns out of their asses. LSU will beat them next week when someone goofs and they're two hours late to the game. Despite the loss, VT authorities, um, coaching staff will insist that everything was fine. Otherwise they're a safe pick for the ACC yet again. What did I say about K-State/Auburn? Heck of a game that was a blast every time Tennessee/Cal went to commercial. Wisconsin might be for real. After all, one out of the top three ranked Big Ten teams at the start of the season always ends up being overrated and Michigan answered that question in a hurry. Nebraska killed Nevada and I couldn't even watch the pistol offense. I don't care if they got thumped, I love watching them more than any other non-Vol team. I apparently missed a good Missouri/Illinois game because I'm rusty with switching between six different channels. I'll be better next week. Everyone who was supposed to crush their opponents did without much trouble, but Georgia out and out handling Oklahoma State was surprising. This is their funky undefeated year, I'm telling you. Bizarro seasons always suck, and the story of the day only makes me dread the Georgia fans who crawl out of the woodwork here when they start doing really well.

The focus that Cal had for this week is probably held by Tennessee for the Florida game. Southern Miss won't be a walkover, so we'd better not almost fuck up like we did last year in the second game of the year against Air Force. I want to see an evisceration of Southern Miss and then beat the piss outta Percy.

11-1 will do just fine.

I'm not surprised that Tennessee went down tonight, because Cal is really fucking good. I swear they were mustard-colored blurs flying around at times. The Vols could only get a ground game going using misdirection, as anything up the gut was stuffed like a pink slip up Lloyd Carr's ass. Their corners kept the young receivers from letting Ainge throw downfield as well. Speed, speed, speed. Some power too, but Cal mostly used quickness to murder us. Now then, Tennessee should have won this game. Those two short pass calls on two third and long plays when the Vols were only down seven were absolutely fucking retarded. Besides the obvious "throw past the markers" point, each was just a screen with little to no blocking. Robert Meachem could make three dudes miss in the open field last year, but there's no Meachem anymore in that receiving corps. That team was storming back after going down 38-17 and looked undeniable even though they were stopped on four straight plays by the endzone mere minutes earlier. I was convinced we'd win until those two inexplicable playcalls. We had them. WE HAD THEM. Even though it was a loss to a very good-great team, I won't feel better until we beat Florida. Yes, until, not if. EDIT: Arian Foster's rushing average was misleading. Half of his runs were for little or no gain, with the inflation coming via the one long run the Tennessee O-line managed to bust all day.

lol, Michigan I've never liked their asses. There needs to be a YTMND that has photos of the game in a slideshow to the song, just like the video. Hot hot hot, hot hot hot!

Going to a bowl doesn't mean jack anymore when nearly half the teams do it. I never use that argument. I just tell people to check out a given CBS-broadcast SEC game and that's all I have to do. That's where their reputation lies for me, in the ability for the conference to produce one absolutely insane and intense game every week, and then maul teams from elsewhere after the season's over. I envision the conference as Thunderdome surrounded by a bunch of normal football players (mere spectators), and at the end of a whole season in there they lift the dome up and let the amphetamine-filled, weapon-holding, leather-clad beasts of speed and power loose on the regular guys.

Missisippi State is terrible. Maybe their defense will earn a couple of wins.

You know, bullshit like that is awful but expected on the professional level. Why must the college game get tarted up as well?

THURSDAY Utah at Oregon State FRIDAY Washington at Syracuse SATURDAY Colorado State vs. Colorado Connecticut at Duke Virginia at Wyoming Georgia Tech at Notre Dame Wake Forest at Boston College Mississippi at Memphis Arizona at BYU Oklahoma State at Georgia Central Michigan at Kansas Purdue at Toledo Tennessee at California New Mexico at UTEP Tiebreak #1: How many total points will be scored in the Tennessee/California game? 54 Tiebreak #2: How many receiving yards will Oklahoma State's Adarius Bowman have against Georgia? 84

Kansas State/Auburn's going to be a salty one. Only big upset I see is maybe Wisconsin losing.

The Star Wars link ruled, with only the Packers' record being off. 6-10, and the same record as DETROIT? Whatever. Besides, Yoda whooped ass on everyone better than 6-10. Did you see him impale that soldier with a lightsaber? Shit's gangsta. We can take a one-armed team.

Michael Chertoff is being tossed around in the early discussions of a replacement. Yes, Michael Chertoff. That Michael Chertoff. If the American people believe in or trust their government again within the next 25 years after this spectacular decade-spanning embarassment of policy and utter failure, on all levels, and by all estabished participants, it'll be a miracle.

People:Spurrier-lead South Carolina::battered women:abusive husbands.

I never analyze it, I just check for when Agent and I throw down. It's always big, and I still owe him $50 from a couple of years ago.