Art Sandusky

Amnesia's my write-in. Name changes help weed out the truly terrible, a big reason why razzie is still around.

I'm turning this into a poll, because I want to see who is most hated. I put my money on this dumbass.

I thought you were talking about the State Department report still. My mistake.

That was really mean-spirited for GC. I apologize.

It pops up on CBS and ABC still when nothing else is going on, and of course the Indy 500 is on every year.

Poor Formula 1. I'm never awake when their live races are on, unless it makes one of the major networks on a weekend afternoon because it's in America. I couldn't tell you who I root for besides CART and the IRL getting back together. One thing I will stay up until ungodly hours to watch: WRC. Oh yeah.

Marvin and Al are right about more than a couple of things, but the racing purist in me just wants to shoot someone. NASCAR is gradually becoming racertainment, which is fine if you're into that. A lot of people prefer the goofy WWE style of wrestling too. I simply don't see any more room for expansion or more profit less than five years from now. Personally, much like with WWE, I'll decry the style and presentation and continue to watch (but never fund) it. I'd much rather see an ALMS or Trans-Am series race, but NASCAR is so darned accessible now that it's really easy to get your racing fix from it.

(slaps forehead) 2007. I can't sleep tonight again. Fix plz?

Yes, unless you had no intentions or success.

It'd rule if Bonds' shoulder muscle exploded as he was going for the first punch.

Oh, that's what's funny. If you say so.

Only after mooches like you leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nevermind. Fag.

Are you kidding? If you were at home you'd get the biggest pop ever.

It's all a marketing charade. You're a blind fan, otherwise you wouldn't put any money into it. The more you support it, the quicker the quality will decline. My issues aren't with guys being bloodthirsty and track "personalities," I mean the actual racing element, you know, the sport of it. Fuck it, I'm hijacking this bitch to spit some venom that fans should be pissed off about and detractors will delight to hear, because NASCAR is going to pop and disappear for three big reasons and they all piss me off equally. Where's the true-to-life sheetmetal? Pretty much every other racing circuit in the world outside of P1 and P2 and of course Formula 1 has cars that are based on the cars they were supposed to be in the first place. It's not a matter of not being able to make them safe enough. If Chevrolet can produce a world-beating Corvette racing program that is capable of doing 200+ down the Mulsanne and carve Laguna Seca with ease, they can certainly make a real Impala NASCAR-ready, which doesn't require as much engineering. Oh yeah, Cadillac does the same thing, slaying BMWs and Mercs instead of Ferraris and Astons as the Corvette does. This blandmobile bullshit that's going full-time next year is inexcusable. Those other cars I mentioned inspire spirit, no matter how minimal, and lead to greater pedigree in terms of being an automotive product for the mass market. I root for Fords, but damned if they look like any fuckin' Ford I've ever seen. Remember what the SC in the acronym stands for. You can trace the rise of Japanese automakers to this crap as well. There was a time when the CEOs of the Detroit automakers paid top dollar to anyone with the brains and ability to help them beat their crosstown rivals. In 2007, Alan Mullaly (Ford) or Rick Wagoner (GM) probably couldn't tell you right now who's winning the points race so far. Having the real look of the cars (only 500 of the engines need even be produced from the factory according to NASCAR rules when such a thing mattered) doing the racing means something to the prospective car buyer, what with how it's completely saturating every possible market and always brainstorming to create new ones. Speaking of which... Why are there suddenly so many goddamn races? Seemingly lost in this shitstorm of branding synergies splattered across uniform cars which vaguely inhabit the backgrounds of reality series is that the season has ballooned to 39 races. 39! If I could make an apt comparison, imagine if Major League Baseball created 10 or more new teams within the next 15-20 years. The France family (owners of NASCAR for those who don't know) has taken the "unstoppable parasitic virus" approach to building a fanbase. While it had a following for years that was huge, it was still a regional thing and is sorta doomed to be just that forever. Hockey, for the South. Strange that NASCAR's decline is also a smidge reminiscent of the collapse of the NHL. NASCAR has a Mexican offshoot now. Betcha didn't know that. As the cars look more soulless, the marketing machine keeps charging, finding new ways to squirm into your life. The beauty is that the drivers are walking advertisments as well. More respectable factory-backed racing circuits generally wear proper factory-themed attire with subtle badges if other companies are sponsoring a team. Oh no no no, not here on these bloated ovals. A television advertisment that uses a driver in track gear isn't just for the people who made the spot in the first place, it's for at least fifteen other interests in sight alone. So they were going to make the season longer, crank up the marketing presence by demanding more money for television rights to fund this big honkin' plan, funds which you use to push out the automakers as much as possible and insert your own name instead of theirs. People will love it, the grandstands will fill up, people will want to see it on television, it'll spawn movies and related entertainment programs, and its ceremonies will rival those of the Super Bowl! All the while, people will fall over themselves to create the greatest super speedways ever beholden by mortal eyes because we're going to be the biggest event in the history of mankind! Problem is, the France trust never accounted for the one weakness in the scheme, a big fat con which is still full steam ahead as we speak. It doesn't work. America can't take any more NASCAR, and the saturation point passed very early on in all this, back in the late 90s. Ratings are on the decline, and attendance is following suit. I guess it isn't such a good idea to have a race twice in one year at a track that won't support it after all. Imagine that. If you accepted all of the corporate input you receive each day, you'd think NASCAR was some serious shit that you desperately needed to get into, whether you lived in southern Georgia (woof) or southern California (also, woof). Now then, actually speak with people in these places and see what people think about this new Great American Sport that we had under our noses all this time but apparently didn't notice before. It will inevitably contract and concede the position of major sport to other actual major sports. A big kick in the ass also looms in the form of the current financial crises of American automakers. GM, Ford, and Chrysler are all flirting with bankruptcy right now to different degrees. Chrysler is being pushed out the door with a for sale sign by their uberlords at Mercedes, Ford is stagnant and faltering, and GM is choking itself to death with their product strategy. Something huge happened recently that not many noticed when GM lost its position as the #1 automaker in the world to Toyota. All of the American companies are also facing talks with the UAW soon, as worker benefits (past and present) and contracts which don't allow plants to close are delivering the second kick to the groins of our homeboys, the first coming every month with the release of sales figures. Waaaaay more money's leaving the piggy bank than's going in at all three and one is reportedly preparing to withdraw from NASCAR competition in order to save an extra $50 million a year and appease the shareholders further, since Wall Street somehow buys the notion that you can cut your way to profitability instead of making better cars. It's all going down in flames soon, guys.

Talladega and Darlington are Hammerstein and Viking Hall. Just think of it like that and it won't annoy you so much. NASCAR's pretty much devolved into professional wrestling anyway.

There was one, but, well, you know the rest.

Remember where you're posting (y'know, far from normal society), we're as casual about it as you are.

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It closed before it opened. Now that's entertainment.

What.

Seriously, because you're a bright guy, sit back and think about what you said. I'm not going to do some baiting shit, I just want to hear some reasoned detail for this argument. It can be done, so don't think I'll automatically disagree.

That falls under the Steve-O "I want someone to laugh every time they look at it" tattoo school of thought.

I'm looking forward to having a kid for only one reason: I'll get to relay all those lame elementary school jokes/insults (like "so funny I forgot to laugh," "Guess what... chicken BUTT," etc.) to someone and have them be totally fresh. It's a blank slate of an audience, and captive too.

I told someone on AIM 'round the time Paul got banned last that it would rule if Gheyme ended up being behind 90% of the weird fuckers we've encountered here, including Prince Paul. The reason it'd rule would be that someone was that desperate of a loser and the person wasn't me.