Art Sandusky

Coward. That's why condoms have been invented. That doesn't make the disease point completely invalid, but at least it's peace of mind.

Because we all know that Archie blew and Peyton is an overrated piece of shit with a Colts helmet on. The case being made for improvement is not that the player themselves improved, it is that their improvement bettered the team, and Eli's has made Ole Miss a formidable opponent again. Tell me the last time anyone really worried about playing Ole Miss. Manning IS Ole Miss football, physically and emotionally. When he leaves, there's going to be a gaping hole in that entire city. Can you really say this about the other candidates? I'd also like to add that you lumped the LSU game in with "the big games his team won," which is wrong. Oh, and you said "big games his team won," which brings me to the other guy you mentioned. Phillip Rivers would be in there, but like BJ Symons and unlike Manning, he didn't have the defense to help him out. Ole Miss' defense was spotty at times, but at least it was more effective than the defenses of NC State and Texas Tech. Both Rivers and Symons lost their big games. Rivers lost to Florida State, Maryland, and Ohio State while Symons lost Texas Tech's big games in the form of Texas and Oklahoma. Offensive dynamos, but they lost the big games despite putting up massive numbers, which you seem to have a fascination with. When considering something like this award, you have to take the numbers into account for sure, but you also have to look at what those numbers really meant. Two interceptions for White in the Big XII title game (Sorry Damaramu, but it's the best case I can think of where a seemingly innocent statistic was more important than appeared). Okay, sounds like he had a bad day at best, but how and when those two interceptions came were key and what really made them killer. The first ended a long Oklahoma drive that would have kept the game from getting out of hand and he tried to be acrobatic in the process and got injured for his trouble, keeping in mind such skittishness is what caused him to be injured these last two seasons. The second interception came early in the fourth on a must-score Oklahoma series and was returned for a touchdown. Now then, will your numbers tell you about that? Will your numbers note that those 16 completions by Manning in the LSU game mostly came in the second half when they let him take over? Do they recall that his own lineman tripping him up on their final drive was what caused their efforts to come to a screeching halt? This is why you just watch the games and worry about numbers later, otherwise you've got people hailing BJ Symons as the next Johnny Unitas because he's putting up 500 yards in an overall system designed to play for a shootout every game. And Conspiracy Victim, I've been bringing the Kylie love for a year and a half now, you just noticed it now.

No, because such things must always happen when it would be the worst time for such a thing, Ahman would fumble at the 1 yard line or something.

I didn't even notice the guy until he started pimping Smarkzone so much.

I think it's because stories about Oklahoma during the season were humdrum ("Oh, they won again by the way") and now there's something to actually discuss. Makes things much more interesting, I think. Yet another reason I dislike super-dominant teams. They make things so boring.

Yeah, but I didn't think it through very well. I was also planning on some stupid feud with the Church of No Ma'am. Trust me, even if it had gone through, it would have been bad. Get on AIM and we'll discuss this further.

Puff, puff... (passes Dutch's penis to someone else)

Mr. McFeely was wearing on me, Disco Pee Wee was cool and all, Mr. Macarena was phat up, but I wanted to go back to having cool Kylie and car-related banners and sigs, plus everyone calls me Kotz anyway. The chance to Disco Pee Wee came about when I told a mod, any mod, to change my name to whatever they wanted. Lo and behold, Zack made my name Mr. Macarena. Then Agent of Oblivion, in concert with Zack, had my name changed to Disco Pee Wee. Oh yeah, Manning for the Heisman.

I swear, with each passing day, I regret killing that off more and more. WHY COULDN'T I HAVE CONSULTED EVERYONE FIRST?? ARGH!!!! You know, we really have very few of the original people left, a STATE OF AMERICA: THE NEXT GENERATION~ edition might work... ... so long as we don't get State-obsessed fans debating on which Maximum Proconsul was better.

That wasn't even a gimmick. It was made up to aid the State of America thread as a common posting name for people to write news about the State's activities. Now it can be a very effective gimmick though. I take credit for all AP Newswire posts in 2003. I was going to be a George Costanza gimmick poster, but I wasn't going to butcher it like that other guy did.

It was going to be History until I discovered how good I was with Theatre stuff and performing in general.

What? If they did look at recent events more, they'd see Manning losing to LSU also. I really think you're confusing the quality of the team with the quality of the players we're talking about. Oh, and the voters also think USC is the best, but do you see them even playing for the national title? That's how much what the voters think matters.

A little hostile there aren't we? I'm looking at the numbers. Jason White posted better numbers this season. Once again, LOOK AT THE TEAM HE WAS PLAYING WITH. I could post 50% of that much if they stuck me in there. Sure you could. See that's another thing. If one OU player does good it's like "He's only good because his team is good! I'm better than he is!" You could not do half of what Jason White does with that team. Once again.......Nate Hybl. Nate Hybl, who won the Cotton Bowl in 2001 against a very good Arkansas team after the previous team's national championship squad is gutted in a pretty big way by people leaving, and last year's humiliation of #4 Wazzou in the Rose Bowl. Point? The story of Oklahoma the last four seasons has been the defense being overpowering and waiting for the offense to finally develop the players to catch up. This year they did so. Once again, as you misconstrue any critique of any Sooner quality or player to mean that the person or team is the worst ever, Jason White is good, but he's not Heisman good.

A little hostile there aren't we? I'm looking at the numbers. Jason White posted better numbers this season. Once again, LOOK AT THE TEAM HE WAS PLAYING WITH. I could post 50% of that much if they stuck me in there.

And how does that help his case? I would think "The Best Player in College Football," as the award is labeled, would be able to play through that. Worse has been played with and been victorious. "But he was hurt" might fly with normal discussion, but not with Heisman talk. You're either able to perform well every game or not, not to mention that he got drilled on an awful pass attempt decision that was his first interception.

But how has he proven himself to be the best? By being on a team that everyone but The Sporting News expected to roll all over everyone? Compare White and Manning's worst games. Manning lost 44-34 to an eventual 8-4 Memphis team where the two interceptions thrown had no impact on the final score and the defense collapsing in the 4th quarter was what allowed Memphis to score 24 unanswered and come back to win. A similar situation happened against South Carolina (defensive collapse in the second half), but such a lead had already been established that it didn't matter. None of Ole Miss' losses were blowouts either, each being contested until well into the 4th quarter. Jason White's worst game, obviously the Big XII title game, had Oklahoma completely embarrassed and had him throwing two interceptions as well, but one of them was HUGE, coming early in the 4th and killing his team's chances to make a comeback. Oklahoma had also all but abandoned the run by that point, and White ended up with 54 pass attempts by the end of the game. The game was placed on his shoulders to salvage and he failed. When the game was placed on Manning's shoulders during the season, he made things happen and was unflappable under pressure. White experienced pressure in a single game and couldn't guide the team to victory when it counted most. He's good, and deserving of being one of the finalists, but Manning is a better player.

But the program has pretty much been on the same national title-worthy level for a while now. Keep perspective here. Like I said, stick Manning in there with that OU offense at his disposal and the defense to back him up, and he'd fuck shit up, and by fuck shit up I mean they'd still be undefeated.

He'll just do the finger thing (anyone who saw that dude on Comic View knows what I'm talking about) as he's being led away in cuffs and she'll drop all charges. I personally think that's all that's kept them together.

Ole Miss 2002: 7-6 and a trip to the Independence Bowl against a barely-eligible Nebraska team. Ole Miss 2003: 9-3 (so far) and a trip to the Cotton Bowl against Oklahoma State. Improvement from season-to-season. Jason White is still at Oklahoma because injuries forced him to stay there, Eli Manning stayed at Ole Miss because he felt a duty to stay and continue the improvement of the Rebel program despite having the option of going to the NFL pretty quickly, as I'm sure every team would want the next Peyton (yes, Eli would have been just as good with Peyton's college and current pro supporting cast). Heading into the season, Oklahoma was a national championship team already. No one expected Ole Miss to nearly beat the eventual #2 in the nation. Just consider what Jason White has had to help him, and consider what Manning has had. Manning has almost single-handedly resurrected the Ole Miss program in his four years after a loooooong dormant period since his father left. So once again, Manning for the Heisman.

Yeah, a 38-0 victory and a trip to Super Bowl XXXVI would have been nice.

Well, I'm certainly confused now.

Ooh, good one.

BEST. ACCEPTANCE SPEECH. EVER.

So many of those jokes are going to go over sooooo many heads (ie. people who haven't been around here too long).

The previous awards show was on the main site, not the forums.