Firestarter

Ditto BX. I've been trying to figure it out for two days.

I don't understand the liberal need to give these creatures "a second chance at life." Why? Honestly, why should I be interested in giving a murderer a second chance at anything? That's one more chance than their victims had. There are plenty of other people you could be helping. Not every murderer deserves a second chance. Go out into the slums and give some kid a first chance... God knows you're willing to pay their mothers to have them.

So did Kerry.

... That was actually pretty darn good for a melodramatic soap opera. Kudos, SP.

<DIES laughing>

1. I think President Bush is hot. Wrong? How do you think you proved, or even could prove me wrong on that? 2. President Bush is in extremely good shape, not just "for his age," but for anyone of any age. A 44 bpm resting heart rate is not something that even top athletes generally have. Wrong? Go read up on the BPM rate. It's an excellent indicator of overall health. 3. Many Marines and Secret Service agents, who have some of the most rigorous training regimens in the world, can't keep up with President Bush. Wrong? The news article I posted proved it. Plus, I've seen it in person. He carries on easy conversations while running, as most of his guests are red-faced, panting, streaming sweat, and struggling to keep pace. Yeah, I'm always the first one to contradict any praise of anyone by saying "I could do better than that." No, wait. That's you. Congratulations on finally accepting the truth. There, that didn't hurt too much, did it? Now all you have to do is swallow a little more of your pride and admit that no one on this board is likely to be in half as good shape as the President, regardless of his age or the average age of the posters here, and I'll let you off the hook. Well, that's a fucking revelation, considering I trained a bunch of them. Here's a tip: when you're criticising someone else for what you feel was unwonted hyperbole, don't indulge in it yourself. Those words never came out of my mouth. I lightheartedly said that the President could turn me straight easily, and said that he was in great shape. And he is. You came along almost immediately to denigrate him because apparently you take it as a personal insult when I express admiration for anyone who isn't you. Sorry, but whatever your fixation is with me, it's not my problem. It's yours. Do you feel like a big strong manly stud now?

I don't see how.

Nope. <g> He was fired before my time.

My goodness, you're insecure. Any time I say I admire a person's physique, or that such and such group of people go through pretty intensive physical training, there you are, pimping your body and telling me about how much fitter you are and how you could beat up US soldiers without breaking a sweat. Dear God, give me a break. I mean what do you expect me to say? YOU UNBELIEVABLE STUD YOU! MAY I BEAR YOUR CHILDREN? PLEASE?! Crikey. What's this supposed to be, Chasing Marney? Get over yourself, dipshit. I've never seen anyone so smug and self-impressed in my life.

And the top 1% of marathon runners of any age. Check the numbers. Clearly wrong? I'd say clearly right. Also, the President is not sixty. As for "old people" regularly "jogging" a 7 minute mile, that's pretty fucking impressive. I can't do that. I never could. (emphases added) - Reuters story

I heard that coke is some powerful shit. Seriously, I know you're joking, but what's next? CBS story: President's 'Feeling Good' Every single statement I made is well documented. Suck it up.

He could in a heartbeat, but he's married, and I admire the First Lady a great deal as well.

How many "twenty somethings" in the world do you think are capable of running 10 miles in 100 degree heat? Most of his own SECURITY DETAIL can't keep up with him, and the Secret Service has one of the most rigorous set of physical requirements of any organisation anywhere in the world. Entire Marine Corps platoons have collapsed by the trackside while he ran laps around them. President Bush has a resting heartbeat of barely 44 beats per minute and less than 15% body fat. 99% of the best marathon runners in the world, of ANY age, can't match that. And you think anyone on an internet message board comes close? Ridiculous. You don't know anyone in better shape. You've never even heard of anyone in better shape. Yeah, I'm sure. I suppose you win a couple of Iron Man triathlons every morning before breakfast, and three on Sundays? Ignorant little braggart.

Okay, you're wrong.

I don't get this. President Bush is in better shape than anyone on this board, including me. I'd love to see him in a toga or anything at all, or nothing at all, actually... Um, I'm going to stop talking right about now.

It's the PRESS. The enemy. That they exist is enough. Nope. Never have been, never said I was; in fact, I always said I wasn't. But I was giving my opinion on something I think the President and the Secretary of Defense are absolutely BRILLIANT at, not assessing each and every policy of the administration. See Jobber, I'm not like you. I admire the President and respect and love him; in fact, he's one of my greatest heroes. I don't feel like I have to make a negative comment about him in every post. You do, and that's your right. But there's no need to get pissy at me and demand that I denounce every policy I disagree with every time I say anything about him. Do it yourself.

Secretary Rumsfeld is wonderful, just wonderful. He's my idol. He deals with the press the way it ought to be dealt with. His words are a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. "Sir, we haven't heard anything, but the President seems to be very confident. Does he know something that we don't know?" "I can assure you that there a great many things the President of the United States knows that you do not know. Next question." "Sir, can I ask just one more thing about this subject?" "No." "But sir -" "That was your follow-up. Sit down." "Will any single prisoner be treated humanely? You bet. When they are being moved from place to place, will they be restrained in a way so that they are less likely to be able to kill an American soldier? You bet. Is it inhumane to do that? No. Would it be stupid to do anything else? Yes." "One more - he's got a good one, I can tell." (thick accent) "Mr Secretary, what do you think of the situation in Georgia?" "Who else had their hand up?"

From the first site: From the second: Shocking.

Barney Reloaded was awesome. "I'll see your milkbone and raise you two snausages."

The whole thing reminds me of that great, superb, wonderful "press conference" when reporters tried to bother the President as he was walking to the White House. "They must have not heard. This is nonnegotiable... they're harboring a terrorist, and they need to turn him over. And not only turn him over, but turn the al Qaeda organization over, and destroy all the terrorist camps – actually, we're doing a pretty good job of that right now – and release the hostages they hold. That's all they've got to do. But there is no negotiation. Period. Come on, Barney." - President Bush 14/10/01 The offhand remark to his terrier made it beautiful.

"See, his job is to ask questions, he thinks my job is to answer every question he asks. I'm here to help this restaurant by buying some food. Terry, would you like something?" I fucking LOVE President Bush. That is all I have to say.

J Lileks has the best one here.

Eh. It's more fun to watch him try to parse "Natalie's" reference to an organisation which was disbanded over a decade ago. I know half a dozen people who really were in the KGB when it was still around, as Russia is my main area. Not one refers to the FSB as the KGB - nor do ordinary people in Vladivostok, Moscow, St Petersburg, Korsakovskiy, or Nizhni Novgorod, nor any of the other places I've visited. The KGB was actually something that was a part of their lives, not some convenient prop for a bullshit online fantasy involving a beautiful virgin nymphomaniac ballerina who, if she were real, would appear to be severely impaired in her taste in males (I'd say "men," but that would be inaccurate). Whether they remember it with hatred or whether they're still loyal to its memory, no one - neither intelligence professionals nor ordinary citizens - brings up the KGB casually as a cultural reference, or calls its current incarnation by its old name. For them, real memories exist of it and its activities, and they aren't lightly recalled. I don't feel like lecturing a teenager about its very real breakup or the compartmentalisation of its functions into half a dozen different services or the purge of a lot of old directorate heads (especially those responsible for internal security and protection), or the fact that the idea of an actual intelligence agent targeting his friend's son's ex-girlfriend's wannabe boyfriend is fucking ridiculous. No doubt he'd feel compelled to defend himself by dragging out another "Well, duh" article which can't spell Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti correctly. Google is, after all, the first refuge of the liars and the ignorant.

The line forms 'round the corner at your local preschool.

This is my favourite line so far.