Firestarter

Now that I've got that out of my system, here are some helpful suggestions: 1. Before anything even happens, HAVE YOUR STATE POLICE NUMBER ON SPEED DIAL. If you spend a lot of time driving within a certain county, have the county police on speed dial as well. 911 gets one hell of a lot of calls, and if your problem isn't urgent (as in life and death) they probably WILL put you on hold. No it's not unreasonable. Don't whine about it. Just be prepared, and have other numbers to dial. 2. If something happens, DON'T PANIC. By panicking you eliminate any chance you have of bringing a criminal to justice and you endanger yourself and everyone around you. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT AND NO RIGHT TO PANIC. Calm the fuck down and realise that if you're still breathing you're better off than you could be. 3. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS get the license plate number. Note the colour and the make, and if possible the model and the year. 4. Try to make out how many people are in the car. 5. If you see a fucking police car, STOP. If the police give you directions, FOLLOW THEM. If the police tell you to do something, DO IT. It doesn't matter if you're doubling back or if you don't understand why they want you to do what they're telling you to do. They are competent and they have a plan. They'll have backup somewhere and they're steering you to it. You're untrained, scared, ignorant, and high on adrenaline. The policeman speaking to you is trained for exactly this situation, completely unafraid, well-informed, and perfectly calm. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you're smarter than the police. You are not. 6. When you make your report don't start making up shit to get people into more trouble. If you lie to them, the police WILL find out. State only the facts and state them clearly and concisely. If you don't know something or you're not sure about something, SAY SO. 7. As soon as you're done with one problem, THINK about how you handled it and how you could have handled it better. And next time, DO better.

I can't believe you didn't get the license plate. How on earth did that happen? I mean, how is it possible to take two or more exits with the same car chasing you, remain behind as the car takes at least a third exit by itself, and still fail to get its license plate? What exactly were you hoping would happen? Did you imagine those kids were just going to stick around and wait for the cops when you did make your report? Did you expect the actual license plate itself to fall off their car less than two inches from yours? Were you waiting for a magic mynah bird to swoop out of the sky and offer it to you on a silver platter? Maybe the fucking fairy princess sitting on the dashboard would take notes for you? You felt helpless? Well la de fucking da, you get a fucking cookie, because you ARE fucking helpless. You're scared to go out of the house alone, are you? You shouldn't be let out of a goddamn crib. What if, what if, what if. You didn't get shot, you didn't get hurt, you didn't get run off the road. "Why us? Why did it happen?" Here's a clue completely free of charge: NOTHING HAPPENED, YOU IMBECILE. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENED TO YOU. You got scared. You failed to handle the situation. You acted like a moron and increased the chances that you or someone else would get hurt. You don't need to be held, you need a sharp slap across your silly face. Then you can be angry instead of scared, and next time someone pulls this sort of garbage on you, you can deal with it properly instead of panicking like some little junior high chickenshit. Jesus H Christ. I can see why even decent guys get so impatient with women; sometimes we don't seem to have a single goddamn brain cell to share between 3 billion of us.

... WTF? I'll respond in NHB so I don't have to restrain myself.

You don't have to. This is the beautiful thing about the Internet: you can't run. You can't hide. And you can't even lie for very long. CNN pulled that article from their website pretty quickly, but they got caught. And other sites still have that article up. Just do a Google search for the phrase, and it'll pop up on half a dozen news sites. (boldface mine)

And irrelevant to this forum. Someone dump this in GC or NHB.

3. Scott Keith's Biggest Fan/Michael Joel Benoit 4. Tie between Vagabond and 4Life 5. evenflowDDT 6. Cletus the Bloody/Ozymandias 7. Ken 8. outcast11/Tyler McClelland 9. Dennis Kucinich 10. Howard Dean Hey, you beat two presidential candidates, cartman. Be proud.

"Hey baby... I write about professional wrestling." "That's nice. Does it make much money?" "Money?" "Ah." "Say, can I get your number?" "It's in the phone book." "But I don't know your name." "That's in the phone book too. Gotta run." "Girls don't like boys; girls like cars and money..."

Triple Black is almost the worst thing to happen to alcohol in the history of the world, though. The only other thing that even comes close is Zima, and even that isn't as sugary and downright shitty as Triple Black. Someday I'm going to find the people who came up with it and kick them all in the fucking nuts. I can't begin to describe how much I despise that shit. It's endlessly revolting. If there were any justice in the world it would be illegal to manufacture, distribute, or consume it. And there'd be a mandatory minimum of 5-10 years for first offenders.

Did it turn you on? Shit, it turned ME on. Dames Yeah, it did. Because as we all know every single homosexual out there tries to "convert" every even vaguely cute heterosexual he or she can find. No matter what the circumstances. It's part of our agenda, after all. Get a fucking clue.

Drinking an excellent cold sake with my wife right now. It's got all sorts of Japanese stuff on it which I can't read, so I'll just describe the bottle and let you guys look for it if you're so inclined. Frosted glass bottle with golden screw-on top, white label with light green abstract watercolour print and Japanese characters in front. Three large embossed golden characters in the middle with the words Hakushika in embossed golden English script above and Yamadanishiki Junmai below - the latter of which I believe is the brand name, as it notes on the side that "Yamadanishiki is a registered trademark of the Ozeki Corporation." Three small, embossed dark grey Japanese characters on gold foil field on the left of the larger characters, and some dark grey characters on the right with a small red square field containing four white characters below. 14 to 15% alcohol by volume.

The most vicious fight I've ever seen was between a 5'5 90 lb girl in heels, a tight little miniskirt, and a drapey silk top that came down to her thighs, and her USMC boyfriend. She didn't even muss her makeup; he woke up in the emergency ward with dozens of stitches. It lasted for all of thirty seconds.

I Was Wrong by Ken Joseph Jr, an Assyrian minister who, from Japan, agitated against the war until he went to Iraq himself. Pre-war, but enlightening and moving, despite the less than perfect English. "We are not afraid of the American bombing. They will bomb carefully and not purposely target the people. What we are afraid of is Saddam Hussein and what he and the Baath Party will do when the war begins. But even then we want the war. It is the only way to escape our hell. Please tell them to hurry. We have been through war so many times, but this time it will give us hope."

Desperate Dems No Match for Arnie by Mark Steyn. Brilliant column on the smear campaign against Governor-elect Schwarzenegger, the media's starring role in the muckraking, and what it says about the future of the Democratic Party. Some highlights: "On the CNN Web site, even after Gray Davis had conceded, they were sticking to the loser's talking-points: 'Schwarzenegger, who, like Hitler, is a native of Austria...' CNN? Oh, that's that network with Larry King, who, like the Son of Sam, is a native of Brooklyn. Used to be owned by Ted Turner, who, like the Cincinnati Strangler, is a native of Cincinnati. Now part of Time Warner, founded by the Warner Brothers, the oldest of whom, Harry Warner, like many Auschwitz guards, was a native of Poland... Remind me never to complain about 'liberal media bias' again. Right now, liberal media bias is conspiring to assist the Democrats to sleepwalk over the cliff... The new line was that the recall reflected a voter anger against incumbents that would spell disaster for Bush next year. And even as I lay on the floor howling with laughter, up there on CNN Judy Woodruff & Co. were taking it seriously. That would be the Judy Woodruff who, like 1970s serial killer Lendell Hunter, is a native of Augusta, GA... Just to recap: Republicans 62 percent, Democrats 31.7 percent - in the most liberal state in the nation. As long as all those angry voters keep expressing their anger by voting for Republicans over Democrats by two to one, I think I can live with it."

Another superb site, mentioned in the love mail to TardBlog: Black People Love Us!

This woman is an absolute saint.

I like the UK too.

Link ain't working, but I'll believe you. Just checked them again; both (identical) links work fine for me. Anyone else having a problem getting to the article?

Excerpts from the article linked to above: "There happens to be a convenient quantitative index of the way Israel stands out as an American ally: voting records at the United Nations General Assembly. Israel has for many years been far ahead of all other states in terms of voting most often with the United States. According to figures compiled by the U.S. government, Israel in 1996 agreed with Washington on 95 percent of all significant votes, far beyond the number-two state (Latvia, at 81 percent) and such close American allies as the United Kingdom (79 percent), France (78 percent), Canada (73 percent) and Japan (72 percent). By comparison, the top Arab country - Kuwait - voted with the United States only 45 percent of the time. Typically, when only one or two states stand with Washington, Israel is one of them... When Secretary of State Alexander Haig tried to create a "strategic consensus" in the Middle East to oppose Soviet expansionism, the Israelis eagerly joined in while Arab states stayed away... Israel has become an affluent country with a personal income rivaling Great Britain's, so the American willingness to provide aid to Israel is no longer based purely on need. Rather, the aid today is closely tied to the peace process; any hint of a reduction is resisted on the grounds that it endangers Israel's confidence and so its willingness to take risks for peace. This makes U.S. aid to Israel unlike any other. Although an increasing number of voices, especially among conservatives in both countries, express skepticism about the continuation of aid, it remains a mainstay of the two countries' relations... The U.S. government signed its first ever free-trade agreement (FTA) in 1985 - with Israel, of course. This unprecedented treaty opened up the entire U.S. market to Israel by gradually eliminating tariffs. Further, the FTA served as the model for the subsequent agreements with Canada and Mexico. Revealingly, while the latter two met with political opposition (and especially the Mexican one, which was part of the contentious North American Free Trade Agreement), the Israeli one did not; in fact, the Senate vote on the agreement was unanimous... Total two-way trade came to about $4.7 billion in 1985 and reached over $11 billion in 1995, with U.S. exports to Israel doubling in the last decade... Israel may be the only case of a country willingly cooperating with the United States on the development of its macroeconomic policy... More unusual yet, Americans and Israelis have many standing arrangements at the state and local level. Governors now routinely lead delegations of business leaders, educators, and cultural-affairs officials to Israel. The major milestone here occurred in 1984, when the Texas Israel Exchange came into existence to promote projects between the Texas Department of Agriculture and Israel's Ministry of Agriculture. At least another nineteen states followed suit... The general rule about states not interfering in each other's affairs goes out the window in this most family-like of relationships. Yitzhak Rabin supported Gerald Ford in 1972 and George Bush in 1992... Bill Clinton did everything he reasonably could, including a virtual joint campaign appearance, to aid the reelection of Shimon Peres. In 1992, Secretary of State James Baker precipitated a parliamentary election in Israel; and the Lubavicher rebbe in Brooklyn then had a substantial say about the outcome of that election. Neither side, interestingly, takes this interference much amiss. On learning of American efforts to keep the Labor in a coalition government with Likud in 1989, an unnamed Israeli official responsed calmly: 'Because of the intensity and intimacy of the relationship between our two countries, we have gotten used to such intervention and do not see it as meddling.' It strains the imagination to think of an official in any other country making such a statement... Israel is the only country where Americans are allowed to hold public office and still keep their U.S. citizenship... In the worst case, an American administration may seek to pressure the Israelis and might even reduce the level of cooperation (for example, by suspending arms deliveries or reducing strategic cooperation), but the ties today are so broad and deep that the alliance is unlikely to crack. Unlike Dwight Eisenhower in 1956-57, no president today can credibly threaten a cutoff of aid, for Congress would not support such action. Economic, academic, and personal relations between citizens of the two countries are largely immune to political vagaries. Further development of this remarkable relationship might be retarded, but not reversed." - How Special is the US - Israel Relationship? by Mitchell Bard and Daniel Pipes NB: all boldface mine. The excerpts are admittedly lengthy, but be sure to read the full article for a better understanding of the amazing ties our countries have at still more levels - educational, scientific, military, economic, and countless others. We make the European Union look downright frigid.

Literally impossible. Superb. Few things could make me happier. I adore Israel; she's our little sister. It's practically impossible for this to ever happen.

HEAVENS FORBID! *falls over and dies* Well, most of the criticism is highly speculative. The rest of the article is quite good, though.

Forgot this one earlier. Woodford Reserve: 5 stars. One of the best bourbons I've ever had, and my favourite for several years now - haven't yet found a reason to be unfaithful. Light, quietly fiery if you sip, pleasantly warm if you swallow, disappears almost as soon as it touches the tongue. Pretty much perfect. Edit: 45% alcohol by volume.

You mean the "Triple Black" shit? I fucking loathe that vile, filthy swill.

Just finished Phantasy Star again the other day after an almost four month long hiatus from all games. Restarting Chrono Trigger now.

I did, but I'm not sure how you got from there to the latest models of nuclear weapons. In any case, the Spirit has far, far more uses than just dropping really big bombs on people, which is why it would be better for Israel.

Only if it has retained its shape. And in that case, the composition of the ash itself isn't relevant. Nonsense. I checked this point with the labs when I started in law enforcement because I'd always found it incredible (I read all the Sherlock Holmes books when I was growing up). It's possible to make broad generalisations about the type of tobacco that produced a particular kind of ash, but even with all the tools of 21st century forensic science it is a practical impossibility to differentiate between 140 types. Maybe half a dozen at best. Country of origin? By colour? Good friggin' luck.