Eight hours a day with strangers. You are judged by them every minute. Teachers and faculty judging your educational and social progress. You are put into a social heirarchy; jocks, nerds, sluts, Goths ect. You get bad grades....you are an underachiever or stupid. Parents are upset. Act "foolishly".....you get detention. The principle, a stranger, judges you. "You better not act up. You're not going to have a future if you act like this.". Who is this man to say what you are and what you will become? Who is he to tell you what is right and what is wrong?
You want to dress differently? You can't. You'll be mocked by your peers. Day after day. Parents can't afford the hip new clothes? Too bad. Don't follow the trends? Nerd. Your confidence will be shattered. Could you ever recover? What if you made a MISTAKE? Perhaps you trip in the hallway. What if you say something stupid? What if you're really small and skinny? What if your abnormally fat?
Dropping out of school? Not going to college? What a LOSER!
We, as kids, are not that smart. We start to believe the stereotypes we are put into. Ever hear of "Out of Character Behavior"? There is no such thing. But we start to view ourselves as said stereotype and act accordingly. Think about a time when you were bullied as a youth. See? You can still recall that experience. It was traumatic. Maybe not now, but at the time, it left a scar, either emotionally or physically. How many parents just allow this to happen? So many parents aren't ready to have kids. They think about their situation instead of their child's. "I can't take this".
So we will all sit in class. Teachers will teach. We will memorize and repeat what we hear. We are parrots. No? How many school tests are based on memorization of the "right" way? Accounting? Memorize these equations. Marketing? Memorize this process. Even Philosophy classes ask "What where Kant's views on blah blah blah ".
We were judged. We were bullied. We were told how to do this. How to do that. We were told to act this way, not that way. We were told what we are good at and what we are bad at. We were told what we were and what we would become.
No. Don't be different. Think, feel and act like everyone else. Otherwise life will be torture. Everyone will be disappointed in you.
Some people recover. Some. Most, after twenty years, will have this process permanently ingrained in their subconscious. They would be judging me on this post. They are robots following codes.
You had to think every move over. Everything is so calculated. The risk of keeping your self esteem is too high to just say "fuck it" and put yourself out there. You overthink everything.
Go ahead. Break free from this. Hopefully someone reading this can. I can't. I'm not that type of person.
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