The Tino Standard

I still read him semi-regularly and to call him "even-keeled" anymore couldn't be further from the truth. His writing is bloated, unfocused and rambling. He claims to not like fantasy booking, then goes on tangents in the middle of recaps about how he would book a situation, explaining that his way is CLEARLY better (when in reality, it's not). Why do I still read him, you ask? I dunno. Car crash appeal. You don't want to look, but you can't turn away.

They would never in a million years do something like that, and by having such expectations, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. That is just not the way the business works, especially WWE.

I think he actually had some sort of injury, but nothing too serious. He was hobbling around after the match and his celebration was half-hearted. I noticed Chioda put up the Dreaded X Sign of Injury after he talked with Michaels following the match.

Orton really needs to learn how to play off the crowd better. When he was in control of the match, the crowd started firing up Hogan chants and he just looked out into nowhere like a deer in headlights. You need to do SOMETHING there to rile up the crowd... Egg them on, thumb your nose at them... ANYTHING heelish. And it's about fucking time Edge got a real win in this rivalry with Cena. Color me shocked (and pleasantly surprised).

I just can't imagine leaving a WrestleMania early, no matter how high-up my seats are.

Not true. I'm pretty sure Race for the Heisman, Stadium Pulse, Create-a-School and defensive hot routes are also missing. And as far as the stadiums go, they only did about 70 of the 119 or so Division I-A teams, and there are several major conference school teams with generic stadiums.

Yeah, I never understood that. I mean, I can understand not being able to use former players' actual names, but I don't see what is wrong with using the right numbers. How lame.

I don't know if it's just the angle of that picture, but WOW, Masters looks smaller.

Which reminds me of how dated McMahon is when he wants his girls to do Playboy, when the real money is in sex videos. Given the fact that he runs a publicly traded company whose primary revenue-generating vehicles are on network TV and basic cable, you might see real money in sex videos for a month or two AT BEST, but you can forget about your company having any longevity.

Wrong on two fronts. First, his name is GOLDBERG. Second, he used the pipe to break the window, but the first time he broke through, he dropped the pipe in the car and after a brief second of trying to grab it, he just continued busting out the window with his bare fist.

In regards to running plays, pick a toss sweep play where the RB goes to a side where there is only one wideout. If the defense is in a man-to-man, put that wideout in motion, leaving that side of the field open. If you've got a running back with good speed, he should be able to beat the defenders to the corner, and then it's off to the races. And if you've got a fast QB, like Troy Smith from OSU, the LB Attack play from the Shotgun Trips formation is almost unstoppable. Your QB can beat everybody to the left side of the field on speed alone. The only way to stop the QB is for the defense to put a spy on him on that side. That leaves the WR in single coverage, which leads to an even BIGGER gain.

How the fuck do you miss your cue in that situation if you are Papa Shango. You have one job for the day: "When we give you the sign, you run in and BREAK UP THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA." What, was he sitting in the back playing WWF Superstars on a Nintendo, his voodoo skull smoking in background, when all the sudden he glances at a monitor, sees Hogan pinning Sid and realizes, "Oh shit! I'm supposed to be out there!"

With WM about a three-hour drive from where I live, I'm looking at all these main event ideas with one standard to go by: Would I drive to Detroit to see this match headline a WrestleMania? Personally, I don't think there is a money match conceivable on the Raw side of the roster right now, and it would feel pretty stagnant to have Raw go on last again and even MORE redundant to have Triple H in the main event again. Having said that, we'll probably have both, and I'll kick myself for having bought a ticket 7 months in advance on the basis of it just being WM.

Holy fuck, that shoulder bump into the post had to hurt. He was fully airborne when he hit the post.

Trish has done pretty much everything you can do in the company, and she never resorted to doing the obligatory Playboy shoot, so good for her in that she's getting out now. Stop while you're ahead. I have absolutely no idea how Lita thinks she can get into an acting career unless she actually is going to porn. We're all joking about it, but seriously, what are her other options? So, with these two on the way out, who does that leave as the longest tenured woman on the roster? Lilian Garcia? If you're going by in-ring performers, I think it would be Torrie Wilson, right?

That's not an arbitrary thing (although everybody seems to think it is). They do that for world championship matches (i.e. the WWE, World Heavyweight and ECW titles), and it began with Cena-HHH at Wrestlemania. Personally, I love it.

OK, let's review: - Shawn Michaels has been fighting the McMahons since December, with the only real progression being that now Triple H is involved. And with that being the case, there's talk of DX fighting the McMahons well into the fall. - Rey Mysterio has been leeching heat off the Guerrero name since Eddie died last November, yet only in the last two weeks has something finally been done about it. - Cena feuded with Angle for more than four straight months. Other than a brief WM program with Triple H, he's been battling with Edge for virtually all of 2006. And THIS is the company that doesn't do anything on a slow burn?

"Theme from a Lowering Cage" rules. And while we're at it, I miss the shots of wrestlers walking backstage just before a commercial, on the way to the ring before their match. The Rock is... WALKING~! I think those have mostly disappeared because they'd rather have commercials in the middle of matches now, figuring they can keep more viewers through the ad break, as they'll want to stick around to see who wins.

"Seriously guys, from the bottom of my heart ... you can all kiss my ass". I really don't want to like the Big Show, but it's hard not to after this. What a virtuoso performance tonight. God bless the "If I'm going down, I'm going down in flames" line of thinking.

I think Big Show gets to squash an ECW veteran like a Sandman or Dreamer type for no other reason than Vince McMahon getting his jollies and saying "F-U" the ECW faithful for shitting on tonight's show. It's petulant and completely unnecessary, which means it's also totally in character for him.

Big Show to a guy in the crowd as he's climbing up the ropes: "How's your wife and my kids?" Nice old school cheap heat. I think he was actually enjoying the spectacle of it all after a while. By the way, the girl in the front row covering her eyes, then looking up to the ceiling and clearly yelling "Why, God, why?" was funny too.

Well shut my mouth. The Batista hate is a lot stronger than I thought it would be. So how quickly does the "Vince was pissed at the Hammerstein Ballroom crowd and ECW's traditional fans for their response to Tuesday night's main event" story come out this week?

I don't think the crowd is going to dump on the match itself as much as they will the Big Show. Most people will realize Batista is just a one-shot deal, and he seems to have universal cred where he can come in for a deal like this and get by. Big Show is the one being crammed down people's throats as the ECW champion.

Here comes Angle.

"O-VER-RA-TED." God bless the mutants.