madmatt2002

WWF Heat 7/1/01: The APA are your guest hosts on Heat. 62 Justin Credible vs K-Kwik. Match Background: None. The Match: Justin Credible hits a right hand on K-Kwik and follows it up with a couple more. Big kick from Credible staggers K-Kwik but that's about it. There's a two count on the pin. K-Kwik counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Second rope flying axe handle, Credible goes down. One day, K-Kwik might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Standing leg lariat by K-Kwik on Credible. K-Kwik hits a dropkick on Justin Credible and gets right back up. Credible backdrops K-Kwik out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Justin Credible. Powerslam from Justin Credible on K-Kwik. K-Kwik is in trouble. Here it comes - Thats Incredible. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:70 The APA talk trash about WCW. 65 A look at Chris Benoit who was injured at KOTR. 75 Hardcore Holly vs Test. Match Background: None. The Match: Hardcore hits a piledriver on Test. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Side suplex from Hardcore. Sloppy discus punch from Hardcore Holly barely connects on Test. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Hardcore Holly hits a right hand on Test. There's a two count on the pin. Test reverses a hip toss. Test strikes Hardcore Holly with a hard blow. Test hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Test goes for a splash but Hardcore puts the knees up. Hardcore hits a piledriver on Test. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Hardcore Holly misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Hardcore Holly slides out and grabs a chair, then gets back in the ring. Chair shot missed! Test ducked it, and now grabs the chair. Hardcore takes the shot instead! Wait - the referee is back up, and is calling for the bell. He's disqualifying Test for using a chair! Hardcore ends up with a cheap victory. My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:73 Rhyno vs Raven. Match Background: None. The Match: Rhyno hits a right hand. Running knee lift from Rhyno. There's a two count on the pin. Rhyno walks into a drop toe hold. BIG clothesline on Rhyno. Raven connects with rights and lefts and Rhyno is down! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Rhyno by Raven. Remember when that was a legit finish? Rhyno reverses a waistlock. Raven walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Rhyno moves in for the kill. Here it comes - GORE. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:84 Sean O' Haire and Chuck Palumbo jump the APA and beat them down. 61 Overall:60

WWF Smackdown 6/28/01: The APA assemble the Midcarders to fight WCW. 66 Edge and Christian vs Billy Gunn and X-Pac. Match Background: Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. X-Pac is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 25 June 2001. The Match: Second rope flying axe handle, Billy goes down. One day, Christian might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Lightning kick by Christian on Billy. Tag to Edge. Billy takes a flying neckbreaker from Edge. There's a two count on the pin. Wicked suplex out of the corner from Edge, is executed so well, it hurt MY back. Tag between Edge and Christian. Edge and Christian whip Billy into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Billy Gunn comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Tag between Billy Gunn and X-Pac. Christian takes a flying neckbreaker from X-Pac. Super kick by X-Pac. Tag to Billy Gunn. X-Pac \ Billy whip Christian into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Christian gets splashed in the corner. Billy Gunn hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Tag to X-Pac. X-Pac hits a rolling kick on Christian. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Christian powers out of a X-Pac headlock. Christian tags out to Edge. Full nelson slam on X-Pac. X-Pac is in big trouble...Con-Chair-To!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: *** rating for an above average match. Overall:80 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Quality:81 Undertaker yaks it up about DDP. 72 Albert vs Kane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Kane has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 20 May 2001. The Match: Albert hits a right hand on Kane and follows it up with a couple more. Wack kick from Albert. Kane receives some punishment by Albert but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Covers for a quick two count. Big kick from Albert staggers Kane but that's about it. Covers for a quick two count. Kane blocks a kick from Albert. Albert is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Hooks the leg for a two count. Spinebuster by Kane. Albert avoids a Kane avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Albert scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Diamond Dallas Page comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Kane turns around. Diamond Dallas Page spins Kane around. Diamond Dallas Page hits the Diamond Cutter! DDP leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for Albert, Kane got pinned. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:68 Hardy Boyz vs Dudley Boyz. Match Background: Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Dudley Boyz have been WWF Tag Team champions since 21 June 2001. The Match: Bubba slams Matt Hardy down and motions to the crowd. Nice piledriver on Matt. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to D-Von Dudley. D-Von Dudley scoops up Matt. Bubba bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. D-Von slams Matt Hardy down and motions to the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. D-Von slams Matt Hardy. D-Von walks into a drop toe hold. Tiger suplex on D-Von. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Tag between Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy. Jeff hits a dropkick on D-Von Dudley and gets right back up. Jeff crushes D-Von with a running senton. D-Von pushes out of a Jeff Hardy hold. D-Von tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. Spinebuster by Bubba Ray Dudley. Spear! Jeff is down! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Jeff gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Bubba goes for a splash but Jeff puts the knees up. Flying cross body off the top rope! As Matt and Bubba get into a brawl on the outside, Chuck Palumbo comes running down into the ring! Jeff Hardy gets grabbed, and they start brawling. Bubba takes some shots at Jeff as well. The referee, seeing the chaos, calls for a no contest ruling. My Opinion: Great match. Most people would give it ****3/4 or more, but I guess I'm a harsh grader. ****1\2 for you. Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:97 The WWF Midcard Squad beat up Palumbo and O' Haire. 69 Crash Holly and Jacqueline vs Spike Dudley and Molly Holly. Match Background: None. The Match: Molly takes a weak kick. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Jacquie on Molly. Hooks the leg for a two count. Molly ducks a wild right hand. Jacquie gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Flying reverse elbow by Molly Holly. Tag between Molly Holly and Spike Dudley. Spike slams Jacqueline down. Jacquie is sure in trouble now. Jacquie pushes out of a Spike Dudley hold. Tag between Jacqueline and Crash Holly. Jacquie \ Crash whip Spike into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Crash hits a soaring kick on Spike. Covers for a quick two count. Crash hits a piledriver on Spike Dudley. That used to end matches, you know. Tag between Crash Holly and Jacqueline. Jacqueline connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Spike Dudley pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Spike tags out to Molly Holly. Molly uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Jacqueline climbs to the top rope, ready to leap at Molly. Crash Holly bounces off the ropes for an elbow drop without seeing his partner, and crotches Jacquie by accident. Molly Holly floors Jacqueline...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Molly Go Round! 1....2....3. Crash and Jacquie remain in the ring. Jacqueline does not look happy at losing. Crash Holly goes to leave, but gets pulled back in by Jacquie. Tensions seem to be rising between these two. My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:43 Crowd Reaction:41 Match Quality:45 Steve Austin and Kurt Angle chat backstage. 80 Big Show vs Perry Saturn. Match Background: None. The Match: Big Show hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Flapjack from Show on Saturn. Big Show scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pin, but Saturn is out just before the three count. Big Show hits a right hand on Perry Saturn. Covers for a quick two count. Saturn counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Flying shoulder tackle by Saturn sends Show CRASHING to the mat. Spinebuster by Perry Saturn. Perry Saturn misses a clothesline. Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Perry Saturn is in trouble. Show Stopper!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it. Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:58 Match Quality:66 Chris Jericho and Scotty 2 Hotty vs William Regal and Tajiri. Match Background: None. The Match: Second rope flying axe handle, Regal goes down. One day, Jericho might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. BRAINBUSTAH~! by Chris Jericho! Tag to Scotty 2 Hotty. Hard back suplex on Regal. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Covers for a quick two count. Tor-NADO DDT from Scotty 2 Hotty, Regal got planted! Scotty tags out to Chris Jericho. Scotty 2 Hotty scoops up Regal. Jericho bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Regal blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Regal tags out to Tajiri. Jericho takes a flying neckbreaker from Tajiri. GORGEOUS Spinning bulldog in the corner and Jericho is down. Tajiri tags out to William Regal. Tajiri \ Regal whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Big dropkick by William Regal, who got a ton of air on the move. Gutwrench into a powerbomb, aka the Doctor Bomb and Jericho hits hard. Regal tags out to Tajiri. Jericho takes a flying neckbreaker from Tajiri. Jericho reverses a waistlock. Tag between Chris Jericho and Scotty 2 Hotty. Tajiri takes a NICE hurrancarana from Scotty 2 Hotty. Scotty 2 Hotty has Tajiri down on the canvas. Worm! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:81 Steve Austin calls out Booker T and Booker comes out with the WCW World Title Belt. Austin gets decked with the title belt. 88 Overall:70

WWF Raw 6/25/01: Test vs Rhyno. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Test has been WWF Hardcore champion since 14 June 2001. The Match: Test is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Chair shot connects! Bodyslam by Rhyno. Rhyno slams Test down and motions to the crowd. Rhyno misses a clothesline. Test smashes a Playstation console over the head of Rhyno. Should have used an X-Box, they're much bigger. Weak bodyslam by Test. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rhyno backdrops Test out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Rhyno. Massive backbreaker on Test and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Hooks the leg for a two count. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Test ducks a wild right hand. Uninspired brawling from Test. Rhyno pushes out of a Test hold. Rhyno slams Test down and motions to the crowd. Test can barely stand. Here it comes - GORE. 1....2...3, it's finished. Mike Awesome comes running down the aisle with a chair, and gets into the ring! Awesome hits Rhyno with a chair to the back! Rhyno goes down to the canvas, hurt. My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:86 Match Quality:76 Mike Awesome vs Rhyno. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. Awesome is making his debut at this show. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Rhyno has been WWF Hardcore champion since 25 June 2001. The Match: Rhyno walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Mike Awesome hits a double axehandle off the table onto Rhyno. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Rhyno! Pin, but Rhyno is out just before the three count. Fallaway slam by Mike Awesome puts down Rhyno. Hooks the leg for a two count. Awesome charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Mike Awesome by Rhyno. Remember when that was a legit finish? Spinebuster by Rhyno. Rhyno gets taken down out of nowhere! Full nelson slam on Rhyno. Rhyno is in trouble. Awesome Bomb! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:45 Match Quality:75 X-Pac vs Jeff Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Lightweight title. Jeff Hardy has been WWF Lightweight champion since 07 June 2001. The Match: STIFF high kick on Jeff by X-Pac. Vertical suplex by X-Pac. Covers for a quick two count. Jeff kicks X-Pac in the gut to reverse the momentum. Flying elbow from Jeff Hardy connects. Jeff Hardy kicks the leg, knocks X-Pac down, and goes to work on it. Flying elbow from Jeff Hardy connects. X-Pac avoids a Jeff Hardy avalanche by getting out of the damn way! SUPER frankensteiner on Jeff, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Jeff Hardy slugs X-Pac, sending him down into the corner. While Jeff fires up the crowd, X-Pac is removing the turnbuckle pad! Jeff Hardy comes over...but X-Pac grabs him by the tights and uses the leverage to slingshot Jeff Hardy face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle! X-Pac rolls up the stunned Jeff Hardy, and even puts his feet on the second rope to add insult to injury! 1....2...3! What a display of cheating from X-Pac. My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:82 Vince pouts about Mike Awesome, a WCW Wrestler, taking the Hardcore Belt. Stone Cold consoles him with a hug. 88 Steven Richards vs Tazz. Match Background: None. The Match: Tazz hits some punches. How generic. Tazz gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Tazz. Steven gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Tazz! Hooks the leg for a two count. Tazz drives a thrust kick into the chest of Steven. There's a two count on the pin. Steven Richards reverses a hip toss. Tazz is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. There's a two count on the pin. Steven Richards hits a bulldog off the ropes. Tazz powers out of a headlock. TIGER DRIVER~! '91 nearly crushes the spine of Steven! Tazz has Steven Richards down on the canvas. Tazzmission!!! Steven Richards taps out! My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:79 Edge is presented the KOTR trophy when Billy Gunn interrupts. After a little verbal sparring, Edge promises not to "Billy Gunn" his King of the Ring. 77 Dudley Boyz vs Brothers Of Destruction. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Brothers Of Destruction are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Dudley Boyz have been WWF Tag Team champions since 21 June 2001. The Match: Undertaker hits a right hand on Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Undertaker by Bubba. Remember when that was a legit finish? Tag between Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley. Flying shoulder tackle by D-Von sends Undertaker CRASHING to the mat. D-Von Dudley with a spinning neckbreaker on Undertaker. Undertaker counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Big kick from Undertaker staggers D-Von but that's about it. Tag to Kane. Kane hits a right hand. Running knee lift from Kane. D-Von Dudley powers out of a Kane headlock. D-Von slams Kane down and motions to the crowd. Tag between D-Von Dudley and Bubba Ray Dudley. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Bubba Ray Dudley connects and Kane is down! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. BAAACK Body drop by Kane gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Albert comes running down the aisle with a chair! Bubba goes to irish whip Kane into the ropes. Albert hits Kane with a chair to the back! Kane can barely stand. Bubba Bomb!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Do you know what * means? It's the equivalent of buying your favorite soft drink, looking under the cap and seeing 'Sorry, Try again.' At least you got the soft drink. Overall:74 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:61 Big Show vs Matt Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Matt Hardy has been WWF European champion since 26 April 2001. The Match: Wack kick from Show. Big Show hits a right hand on Matt Hardy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Matt blocks a kick from Big Show. Matt Hardy hits a rolling kick on Show. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. STIFF high kick on Show by Matt Hardy. Show takes a flying neckbreaker from Matt Hardy. Show flips out of a Matt Hardy bodyslam attempt. Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Show bounces off the ropes in preparation for a big move......only for Lita at ringside to trip him up! The referee immediately calls for the disqualification! My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4 Overall:76 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:65 Edge vs Billy Gunn. Match Background: None. The Match: Edge scoops and slams Billy Gunn. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Edge gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Edge. STIFF~! chop lights up Billy who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Covers for a quick two count. Bodyslam by Edge. Covers for a quick two count. Billy Gunn once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Uninspired brawling from Billy Gunn. There's a two count on the pin. Weak bodyslam by Billy. Edge pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Billy! Christian comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Billy Gunn turns around. Christian spins Billy around. Christian hits the Unprettier! Christian leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. Edge defeats Billy. My Opinion: Well, hello there *1/4 rating, how are you? Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:74 Match Quality:66 Chris Jericho vs Tajiri. Match Background: None. The Match: Chris Jericho connects with a back heel kick on Tajiri and gets back up quickly. Jericho just WAFFLES Tajiri with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Chris Jericho strikes Tajiri. Covers for a quick two count. Tajiri tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Covers for a quick two count. Tajiri blocks a kick from Chris Jericho. Tajiri kicks the leg, knocks Jericho down, and goes to work on it. Covers for a quick two count. Superkick by Tajiri practically knocks out all of Chris Jericho's teeth! Jericho powers out of a headlock. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Chris Jericho just KILLS Tajiri! William Regal comes running down the aisle with a chair! Tajiri goes to irish whip Chris Jericho into the ropes. Regal jumps onto the apron with the chair...but Chris Jericho reverses! Collision between Regal, Tajiri, and the chair! Tajiri staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: A ****1\2 rating for a great match. Keep on trucking...you'll get there. Overall:86 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:100 Vince McMahon is out and he says that Stone Cold and Kurt Angle are looking for Booker T at WWF New York. However Booker T runs out and Scissor Kicks Vince and runs off as the Lockeroom empties. 95 Overall:79

WWF King of the Ring 2001: Justin Credible vs Matt Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Matt Hardy has been WWF European champion since 26 April 2001. The Match: Matt Hardy kicks the leg, knocks Credible down, and goes to work on it. Second rope flying axe handle, Credible goes down. One day, Matt might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. There's a two count on the pin. Credible counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Big kick from Credible staggers Matt but that's about it. Justin Credible strikes Matt Hardy. Credible slams Matt Hardy down. Matt is sure in trouble now. Justin Credible misses a clothesline. Flying reverse elbow by Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy moves in for the kill. Twist Of Fate!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:80 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:76 Christian vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: Big forearm by Kurt Angle makes me want to go to the mirror and check MY teeth. Christian just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Angle. Kurt Angle gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Angle. Covers for a quick two count. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Christian by Angle. Remember when that was a legit finish? Hooks the leg for a two count. Christian backdrops Kurt Angle out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Christian. Standing leg lariat by Christian on Angle. Covers for a quick two count. SUPER frankensteiner on Angle, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Christian gets taken down out of nowhere! BACKDROP DRIVAH~! and Christian lands HARD! Shane McMahon has climbed up onto the apron! Christian turns...and falls for the distraction! Kurt Angle attacks Christian from behind! Kurt Angle floors Christian. Ankle Lock!!! Christian taps out! My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:86 Crowd Reaction:85 Match Quality:87 Edge vs Rhyno. Match Background: None. The Match: Edge hits a right hand. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rhyno fights out of a grapple. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Edge by Rhyno. Remember when that was a legit finish? Rhyno hits some punches. How generic. Fallaway slam by Rhyno puts down Edge. Edge reverses a hip toss. Edge hits a bulldog off the ropes. Edge moves in for the kill. Edgeocutioner! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Some blown spots really drag this match down a notch, so its ***1\2 for you. Overall:89 Crowd Reaction:92 Match Quality:83 Dudley Boyz vs Spike Dudley and Kane. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Dudley Boyz have been WWF Tag Team champions since 21 June 2001. The Match: BAAACK Body drop by Kane gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Massive backbreaker on Kane and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Tag between D-Von Dudley and Bubba Ray Dudley. Flying shoulder tackle by Bubba sends Kane CRASHING to the mat. There's a two count on the pin. Bubba Ray Dudley scores with a big spinebuster. Tag between Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley. Dudley Boyz whip Kane into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Kane counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Kane tags out to Spike Dudley. D-Von Dudley takes a right hand to the temple from Spike. Spike Dudley hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Spike tags out to Kane. Spike \ Kane whip D-Von into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Flying shoulder tackle by Kane sends D-Von CRASHING to the mat. Massive backbreaker on D-Von and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Tag to Spike Dudley. Big kick from Spike staggers D-Von but that's about it. D-Von blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. Spear by Bubba Ray Dudley. Spike Dudley is in big trouble...3D!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: Solid bout, but they could do a lot better. *** Overall:79 Crowd Reaction:77 Match Quality:82 Edge vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: Kurt Angle with a spinning neckbreaker on Edge. Flying cross body off the top rope! Hooks the leg for a two count. Edge counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Edge connects with rights and lefts and Kurt Angle is down! BAAACK Body drop by Angle gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Powerbomb on Angle. Pin, but Angle is out just before the three count. Bodyslam by Edge. Angle ducks a wild right hand. Reverse DDT into a backbreaker by Kurt Angle. That was interesting. Hooks the leg for a two count. Edge walks into a face-first flapjack. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Big dropkick by Kurt Angle, who got a ton of air on the move. Big forearm by Kurt Angle makes me want to go to the mirror and check MY teeth. Edge flips out of a Kurt Angle bodyslam attempt. Edge hits a dropkick on Kurt Angle and gets right back up. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Shane McMahon is at ringside! Angle wastes valuable time by yelling at Shane! Edge takes advantage of the distraction and nails Angle from behind! Kurt Angle can barely stand. Spear! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Good bout. In my estimation, it's about ***3/4. Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:89 Match Quality:83 Jeff Hardy vs X-Pac. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Lightweight title. Jeff Hardy has been WWF Lightweight champion since 07 June 2001. The Match: Lightning kick by Jeff on X-Pac. Tiger suplex on X-Pac. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. Power drive elbow by Jeff Hardy. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Spin kick by Jeff Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. There's a two count on the pin. X-Pac powers out of a Jeff Hardy headlock. X-Pac uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! SUPER frankensteiner on Jeff, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. X-Pac misses a clothesline. Jeff crushes X-Pac with a huge legdrop. X-Pac gets knocked to the ground by Jeff, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Swanton Bomb! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:82 Undertaker beats the ever living shit out of DDP. 66 Shane McMahon vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: This will be a falls count anywhere bout. The Match: Shane chair shots Kurt Angle. Powerslam from Shane McMahon on Angle. There's a two count on the pin. Angle blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Big forearm by Kurt Angle makes me want to go to the mirror and check MY teeth. Shane McMahon charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. There's a two count on the pin. Cane-assisted Russian Leg Sweep and Shane is out! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Shane McMahon takes a butterfly suplex from Angle. They brawl to the outside and into the crowd. BIG forearm by Kurt Angle. Covers for a quick two count. Shane takes a back suplex on the outside and appears to be in excruciating pain! They wind up back in the squared circle. Kurt Angle misses a clothesline. Weak bodyslam by Shane. Hooks the leg for a two count. Shane McMahon turns Angle inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Pin, but Angle is out just before the three count. Running clothesline from Shane McMahon was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Shane McMahon scoop slams Angle onto and through a table. Angle powers out of a headlock. Kurt Angle snap suplexes Shane HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Angle is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Flying clothesline by Angle. Kurt Angle has Shane McMahon down on the canvas. Ankle Lock!!! Shane McMahon taps out! My Opinion: I really shouldn't drink when I'm reviewing matches. Especially with Scotsman, I can't drink nearly as much, so I try too hard. It was either ** or ****, but I guess I'll have to compromise and say ***. Overall:85 Crowd Reaction:89 Match Quality:79 Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit vs Steve Austin. Match Background: This will be a triangle bout. This match is for the WWF World title. Steve Austin has been WWF World champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Stone Cold scoops and slams Chris Benoit. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Stone Cold goes down. Benoit flips out of a Chris Jericho bodyslam attempt. Superkick by Chris Benoit practically knocks out all of Chris Jericho's teeth! Springboard reverse elbow by Chris Benoit. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Covers for a quick two count. Tor-NADO DDT from Chris Jericho, Benoit got planted! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Chris Benoit pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Springboard reverse elbow by Chris Benoit. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Steve Austin scores with a standing spinebuster. Steve Austin moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Stone Cold Stunner. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Absolutely solid match. A few minor things brought it down, so I'm tacking on a **** rating. Overall:88 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:92 Overall:82

WWF Smackdown 6/21/01: Edge and Christian and Rhyno and Kurt have a confrontation that ends up with Rhyno and Kurt beating up E and C turning them face. 76 Big Show vs Spike Dudley. Match Background: This will be a falls count anywhere bout. The Match: Spike hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Frying pan shot by Show. Big Show hits a right hand on Spike Dudley and follows it up with a couple more. Covers for a quick two count. Weak bodyslam on Spike by Show sets up a legdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Spike reverses a Big Show hammerlock. Show receives some punishment by Spike Dudley but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Covers for a quick two count. Big clothesline from Spike. Spike charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Side suplex from Show. Spike Dudley can barely stand. Show Stopper! 1....2....3. My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:54 X-Factor vs Kane, Jeff Hardy, and Matt Hardy. Match Background: Jeff Hardy is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 07 June 2001. Kane is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 20 May 2001. Matt Hardy is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 26 April 2001. The Match: Jeff just WAFFLES X-Pac with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! X-Pac takes a flying neckbreaker from Jeff Hardy. Tag between Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy. Flying elbow from Matt Hardy connects. Flying reverse elbow by Matt Hardy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Matt tags out to Kane. Matt \ Kane whip X-Pac into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. BIG clothesline on X-Pac. X-Pac blocks a kick from Kane. Kane takes a flying neckbreaker from X-Pac. Tag to Albert. Albert strikes Kane with a hard blow. Albert scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Weak bodyslam on Kane by Albert sets up a legdrop. Tag to Justin Credible. Credible strikes away at Kane, not doing much damage at all. Weak bodyslam on Kane by Credible sets up a legdrop. Kane blocks a kick from Justin Credible. Tag between Kane and Jeff Hardy. Second rope flying axe handle, Credible goes down. One day, Jeff might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Tag to X-Pac. STIFF high kick on Jeff by X-Pac. Jeff ducks a wild right hand. Jeff Hardy has X-Pac down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Swanton Bomb!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: **1/4 rating for this one. Scott Keith may say that it's 'Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling', but not for me, buddy. Got to work harder to impress me. Overall:74 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:75 Steve Austin gives Vince a gift. 86 Edge and Christian vs Kurt Angle and Rhyno. Match Background: Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Rhyno scoops and slams Edge. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Fallaway slam by Rhyno puts down Edge. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Rhyno and Kurt Angle. Rhyno \ Angle whip Edge into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big dropkick by Kurt Angle, who got a ton of air on the move. Edge pushes out of a Kurt Angle hold. Edge hits a piledriver on Kurt Angle. That used to end matches, you know. There's a two count on the pin. Edge tags out to Christian. Super kick by Christian. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Christian hits a dropkick on Kurt Angle and gets right back up. Christian goes for a splash but Angle puts the knees up. Kurt Angle with a spinning neckbreaker on Christian. Tag to Rhyno. Rhyno hits some punches. How generic. Tag to Edge. Flying shoulder tackle by Rhyno sends Edge CRASHING to the mat. Edge can barely stand. GORE! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Consider yourself lucky, a ****1\4 is hard to get and it was earned every step of the way. Let's see if you can do better now. Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:91 Match Quality:92 Perry Saturn vs Test. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Test has been WWF Hardcore champion since 14 June 2001. The Match: A weak headbutt on Saturn by Test causes nothing but pain for both. Big kick from Test staggers Saturn but that's about it. Hooks the leg for a two count. Saturn blocks a punch. BAAACK Body drop by Test gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Saturn slams Test. Perry Saturn uses a big bag of popcorn to floor Test. I wonder if butter adds impact. Test powers out of a Perry Saturn headlock. Weak bodyslam by Test. Perry Saturn can barely stand. Here it comes - Big Boot. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: These guys worked SO HARD...for a ** rating. Something went wrong somewhere, didn't it? Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:77 Match Quality:73 Diamond Dallas Page begs the Undertaker to make him famous at King of the Ring. 82 TAKA Michinoku vs Tajiri. Match Background: None. The Match: STIFF high kick on TAKA by Tajiri. Implant DDT by Tajiri! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Covers for a quick two count. Tajiri goes for a splash but TAKA puts the knees up. Implant DDT by TAKA Michinoku! I will always and forever mark out for that move. TAKA Michinoku kicks the leg, knocks Tajiri down, and goes to work on it. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Tajiri is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Tajiri crushes TAKA with a running senton. TAKA Michinoku is in trouble. Here it comes - Kick Of Death. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Great match, it deserves every snowflake its getting. ****1\4 Overall:83 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:100 Dudley Boyz vs Canadian Violence. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Canadian Violence have been WWF Tag Team champions since 21 May 2001. The Match: Bubba slams Chris Benoit. Bubba slams Chris Benoit down and motions to the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Bubba tags out to D-Von Dudley. Dudley Boyz whip Benoit into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. There's a two count on the pin. Bodyslam by D-Von. Benoit blocks a punch. Benoit crushes D-Von with a running senton. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Chris Jericho. Flying reverse elbow by Chris Jericho. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Flying elbow from Chris Jericho connects. D-Von Dudley avoids a Chris Jericho avalanche by getting out of the damn way! D-Von Dudley with a spinning neckbreaker on Jericho. Tag between D-Von Dudley and Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba hits a right hand. Tag between Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit. Bodyslam by Bubba. Steve Austin comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Chris Benoit turns around. Steve Austin spins Benoit around. Steve Austin hits the Stone Cold Stunner! Stone Cold leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for Bubba Ray Dudley, Benoit got pinned. My Opinion: A ****1\2 rating for a great match. Keep on trucking...you'll get there. Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:83 Match Quality:98 Overall:77

WWF Raw 6/18/01: Tonight:Those Damn Dudleys and Steve Austin vs Canadian Violence and Spike Dudley. 81 Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: Jeff Hardy is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 07 June 2001. The Match: Double arm suplex by Kurt Angle connects as Jeff hits hard. Stun Gun from Kurt Angle! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. Covers for a quick two count. Kurt Angle misses a clothesline. Spin kick by Jeff Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Jeff Hardy connects with a back heel kick on Angle and gets back up quickly. Spin kick by Jeff Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Angle flips out of a Jeff Hardy bodyslam attempt. Jeff walks into a side slam. Jeff Hardy gets knocked to the ground by Angle. Ankle Lock!!! Jeff Hardy taps out! My Opinion: I'd love to see a rematch and see if they can top this. **** Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:93 Hardcore Holly vs Tazz. Match Background: None. The Match: Wack kick from Hardcore. Powerslam from Hardcore Holly on Tazz. There's a two count on the pin. Tazz blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Hardcore takes a back suplex. Tazz snap suplexes Hardcore HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Tazz is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Hardcore takes a quick lariat. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Tazz hits a piledriver on Hardcore Holly. That used to end matches, you know. Hardcore kicks Tazz in the gut to reverse the momentum. Hardcore Holly DDTs Tazz, but it just looked terrible. Hardcore Holly hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Tazz kicks Hardcore Holly in the gut to reverse the momentum. Hardcore Holly is in trouble. Tazzplex!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: These guys worked SO HARD...for a ** rating. Something went wrong somewhere, didn't it? Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:75 Tajiri vs Rhyno. Match Background: None. The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Rhyno ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. BAAACK Body drop by Tajiri gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Rhyno hits a piledriver on Tajiri. That used to end matches, you know. Spear! Tajiri is down! Tajiri is in trouble. GORE! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Good bout. In my estimation, it's about ***3/4. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:86 The Stalker is....Diamond Dallas Page. 69 Edge vs Perry Saturn. Match Background: None. The Match: Edge hits a piledriver on Perry Saturn. That used to end matches, you know. Edge scores with a big spinebuster. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Saturn! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! BIG clothesline on Saturn. Hooks the leg for a two count. Edge gets taken down out of nowhere! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Edge by Saturn. Remember when that was a legit finish? Edge walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Edge backdrops Perry Saturn out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Edge. Spinebuster by Edge. Edge moves in for the kill. Edgeocutioner!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Consider yourself lucky, a ****1\4 is hard to get and it was earned every step of the way. Let's see if you can do better now. Overall:79 Crowd Reaction:59 Match Quality:100 Albert vs Matt Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Matt Hardy has been WWF European champion since 26 April 2001. The Match: Albert hits a right hand on Matt Hardy. Covers for a quick two count. Albert hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. There's a two count on the pin. Matt Hardy pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Hard back suplex on Albert. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. SUPER frankensteiner on Albert, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Albert is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Albert DDTs Matt, but it just looked terrible. There's a two count on the pin. Matt powers out of a headlock. Vicious kick to the teeth from Matt Hardy. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Matt Hardy knocks Albert to the outside, then signals for the Twist Of Fate. He reaches out of the ring for Albert...and gets clobbered with the ring bell! Right to the head! The referee looks up to see Albert sliding in and making the pinfall. The referee calls for the bell though! He's disqualifying Albert, he must have seen the ring bell shot! The match is over. My Opinion: Well, hello there *1/4 rating, how are you? Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:67 After the match, X-Factor beat down the Hardy Boyz. 77 Christian vs Big Show. Match Background: None. The Match: Big Show strikes Christian. Big Show hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Christian elbows Big Show in the face to break a hammerlock. Christian hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Christian hits a rolling kick on Show. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Show takes a NICE hurrancarana from Christian. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Show takes a NICE hurrancarana from Christian. Show backdrops Christian out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Big Show. Big Show hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Powerslam from Big Show on Christian. Show goes for a splash but Christian puts the knees up. Edge comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Big Show turns around. Edge spins Show around. Edge hits the Edgeocutioner! Edge leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. Christian defeats Show. My Opinion: Not good enough to earn an entire star. 3/4* for you. Overall:61 Crowd Reaction:59 Match Quality:64 Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, and Steve Austin vs Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, and Spike Dudley. Match Background: Steve Austin is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 31 March 2001. Canadian Violence are the reigning WWF Tag Team champions, and have been since 21 May 2001. The Match: Standing leg lariat by Chris Benoit on Stone Cold. Stone Cold takes a flying neckbreaker from Chris Benoit. Benoit tags out to Spike Dudley. Running clothesline from Spike Dudley was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Spike Dudley hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Spike Dudley and Chris Jericho. Spike \ Jericho whip Stone Cold into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Jericho hits a dropkick on Steve Austin and gets right back up. Stone Cold counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Flying shoulder tackle by Stone Cold sends Jericho CRASHING to the mat. Stone Cold tags out to D-Von Dudley. BIG clothesline on Jericho. High Angle DDT by D-Von Dudley just SPIKES Chris Jericho down! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Chris Jericho by D-Von. Remember when that was a legit finish? D-Von tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba hits a right hand. Flying shoulder tackle by Bubba sends Jericho CRASHING to the mat. Chris Jericho once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Jericho tags out to Chris Benoit. Hard back suplex on Bubba. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Bubba tags out to Steve Austin. Stone Cold slams Chris Benoit. Benoit counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Steve Austin gets knocked to the ground by Benoit. Steve Austin gets locked in the Crippler Crossface! Submission victory! My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Overall:79 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:81 Overall:75

WWF Heat 6/17/01: X-Factor vs A.P.A.. Match Background: A.P.A. are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Big kick from Bradshaw staggers Credible but that's about it. Weak bodyslam by Bradshaw. Covers for a quick two count. Bradshaw tags out to Faarooq. A.P.A. whip Credible into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Faarooq strikes Justin Credible with a hard blow. There's a two count on the pin. Uninspired brawling from Faarooq. Justin Credible avoids a Faarooq avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Credible DDTs Faarooq. Tag between Justin Credible and X-Pac. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. X-Pac crushes Faarooq with a running senton. Faarooq is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Faarooq tags out to Bradshaw. Bradshaw hits a piledriver on X-Pac. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Flapjack from Bradshaw on X-Pac. Pin, but X-Pac is out just before the three count. A weak headbutt on X-Pac by Bradshaw causes nothing but pain for both. X-Pac reverses a hip toss. SUPER frankensteiner on Bradshaw, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Albert comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Bradshaw turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Albert! Albert has left Bradshaw in big trouble. X-Pac has Bradshaw down on the canvas. Here it comes...Buzz Killer! Bradshaw taps! My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:79 Perry Saturn is YOUR special guest host tonight on Heat. 69 A look at the debut of Stacy Keibler from Smackdown. 81 Goodfather and Bull Buchanan vs Dudley Boyz. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Godfather strikes away at D-Von Dudley, not doing much damage at all. Goodfather hits a right hand on D-Von Dudley. There's a two count on the pin. D-Von counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! D-Von slams Goodfather. Spinebuster by D-Von Dudley. D-Von tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. Goodfather charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Goodfather pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Godfather tags out to Bull Buchanan. Godfather \ Buchanan whip Bubba into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Bubba Ray Dudley takes a right hand to the temple from Buchanan. There's a two count on the pin. Big clothesline from Buchanan. Buchanan tags out to Goodfather. Goodfather scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Bubba Ray Dudley powers out of a Goodfather headlock. Tag between Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley. Fallaway slam by D-Von Dudley puts down Goodfather. Goodfather is in big trouble...3D!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: Nothing special...nothing special at all. *1/4 Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:67 Perry segment. 62 A Triple Threat Match at KOTR 77 TAKA Michinoku vs Jeff Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Lightweight title. Jeff Hardy has been WWF Lightweight champion since 07 June 2001. The Match: Super kick by Jeff Hardy. Vicious kick to the teeth from Jeff Hardy. Vicious kick to the teeth from Jeff Hardy. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Jeff uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! There's a two count on the pin. TAKA blocks a kick from Jeff Hardy. Jeff takes a flying neckbreaker from TAKA Michinoku. Beautiful spinning arm drag out of the corner by TAKA. Jeff flips out of a TAKA Michinoku bodyslam attempt. TAKA takes a NICE hurrancarana from Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy floors TAKA Michinoku...and climbs the turnbuckles. Swanton Bomb!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: Some blown spots really drag this match down a notch, so its ***1\2 for you. Overall:79 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:91 Overall:68

WWF Smackdown 6/14/01: Canadian Violence vs Edge and Christian. Match Background: Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Canadian Violence have been WWF Tag Team champions since 21 May 2001. The Match: Stun Gun from Edge! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. Benoit walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Covers for a quick two count. Edge tags out to Christian. Edge and Christian whip Benoit into the corner. Christian whips Edge in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Christian uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Covers for a quick two count. Christian connects with a back heel kick on Benoit and gets back up quickly. Benoit pushes out of a Christian hold. Back heel kick off the second rope, Christian goes down. Tag between Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Big dropkick by Chris Jericho, who got a ton of air on the move. Lightning kick by Jericho on Christian. Chris Jericho misses a clothesline. Tag to Edge. Spinebuster by Edge. Edge scores with a standing spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Edge gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Edge. Edge drops an elbow...but Chris Jericho moves out of the way. Lightning kick by Jericho on Edge. Chris Jericho has Edge down on the canvas. Edge gets locked in the Walls Of Jericho! Submission victory! My Opinion: The psychology was sound, the work was crisp, but a few awkward moments drag it down to about ****1\2. Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:85 Match Quality:98 Big Show vs Raven. Match Background: None. The Match: Show strikes away at Raven, not doing much damage at all. Raven takes a right hand to the temple from Show. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Big Show hits Raven. There's a two count on the pin. Raven takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Raven comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Show gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. There's a two count on the pin. Raven hits a piledriver on Big Show. That used to end matches, you know. Show powers out of a headlock. Big Show scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Big Show moves in for the kill. Show Stopper! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Sadly, a 1\2* match. Overall:55 Crowd Reaction:46 Match Quality:64 K-Kwik vs Matt Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Matt Hardy has been WWF European champion since 26 April 2001. The Match: Matt hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. K-Kwik takes a flying neckbreaker from Matt Hardy. There's a two count on the pin. K-Kwik reverses a Matt Hardy hammerlock. K-Kwik hits a dropkick on Matt Hardy and gets right back up. Spinning back kick from K-Kwik. Second rope flying axe handle, Matt goes down. One day, K-Kwik might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Matt counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Lightning kick by Matt on K-Kwik. K-Kwik can barely stand. Twist Of Fate! 1....2....3. My Opinion: A ***3/4 rating! Yay! Overall:80 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:91 Kurt Angle recruits X-Factor to help deal with the Undertaker. 86 Kurt Angle vs Undertaker. Match Background: None. The Match: Undertaker with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Angle. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. There's a two count on the pin. Powerslam from Undertaker on Angle. Hooks the leg for a two count. Angle backdrops Undertaker out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Kurt Angle. Undertaker charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Vicious snap suplex! Undertaker got whipped over hard. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Undertaker counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Weak bodyslam by Undertaker. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kurt Angle is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Delayed BRAINBUSTAH~! Angle really drove that one down big time. Undertaker reverses an irish whip...and Kurt Angle runs into the referee! Kurt Angle slides out and grabs a chair, then gets back in the ring. Chair shot missed! Undertaker ducked it, and now grabs the chair. Angle takes the shot instead! Wait - the referee is back up, and is calling for the bell. He's disqualifying Undertaker for using a chair! Angle ends up with a cheap victory. X-Pac comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Undertaker is ready though, and strikes first! Undertaker spins X-Pac around. Undertaker hits the Last Ride! X-Pac has been left down on the canvas. The attempted ambush has backfired. My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Quality:77 Rhyno vs Test. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Rhyno has been WWF Hardcore champion since 28 May 2001. The Match: Test hits a right hand on Rhyno and follows it up with a couple more. Big kick from Test staggers Rhyno but that's about it. There's a two count on the pin. Rhyno counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Fallaway slam by Rhyno puts down Test. Rhyno hits some punches. How generic. Chair shot connects! Rhyno charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Test DDTs Rhyno, but it just looked terrible. Stacy Keibler is at ringside! Rhyno wastes valuable time by yelling at Stacy! Test takes advantage of the distraction and nails Rhyno from behind! Rhyno is in trouble. Big Boot!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:85 Match Quality:76 Crash Holly vs Tajiri. Match Background: None. The Match: Tajiri crushes Crash with a running senton. Diamond Dust from Tajiri, Crash is out! Tiger suplex on Crash. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Spin kick by Tajiri to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Covers for a quick two count. Crash counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Bodyslam by Crash. Massive backbreaker on Tajiri and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Tajiri is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Tajiri crushes Crash with a sweet running senton. Tajiri moves in for the kill. Kick Of Death!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:61 Crowd Reaction:48 Match Quality:75 Sara is being stalked and the Stalker promises to reveal himself this Monday. 52 Steve Austin wants Spike Dudley to sign a petition so he can back out of the Triple Threat Match of KOTR but Austin calls Molly a bimbo and a tramp so Spike rips up Austin's petition in rage. 72 Albert vs Kane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Kane has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 20 May 2001. The Match: Spinebuster by Kane. Kane scores with a standing spinebuster. Spear! Albert is down! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Kane with a spinning neckbreaker on Albert. Covers for a quick two count. Albert elbows Kane in the face to break a hammerlock. Running clothesline from Albert was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Albert hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Kane flips out of a Albert bodyslam attempt. Albert walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Albert can barely stand. Choke Slam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:55 Spike Dudley vs Steve Austin. Match Background: This match is for the WWF World title. Steve Austin has been WWF World champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Steve Austin hits some punches. How generic. Spike Dudley elbows Steve Austin in the face to break a hammerlock. Stone Cold receives some punishment by Spike Dudley but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Spike Dudley scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Steve Austin reverses a hip toss. Spike Dudley charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Massive backbreaker on Spike and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Covers for a quick two count. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Steve Austin connects and Spike Dudley is down! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Spike Dudley comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Spike Dudley DDTs Stone Cold, but it just looked terrible. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Stone Cold kicks Spike Dudley in the gut to reverse the momentum. Steve Austin moves in for the kill. Stone Cold Stunner!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Chris Jericho comes running down the aisle with a chair, and gets into the ring! Jericho hits Stone Cold with a chair to the back! Steve Austin goes down to the canvas, hurt. My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:69 Overall:68

WWF Raw 6/11/01: Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, and Steve Austin will all go at it for the WWF Title at King of the Ring. 87 Christian vs Kane. Match Background: Kane is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 20 May 2001. The Match: Kane connects with rights and lefts and Christian is down! Spinebuster by Kane. Covers for a quick two count. Christian reverses a hip toss. Christian hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Christian hits a rolling kick on Kane. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Christian crushes Kane with a running senton. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Lightning kick by Christian on Kane. Kane elbows Christian in the face to break a hammerlock. Nice piledriver on Christian. Spear by Kane. Christian powers out of a headlock. Albert comes running down the aisle with a chair! Christian and Kane continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Albert slides in and blasts Kane with a chair to the head! Albert climbs out of the ring, the damage done! Kane gets whipped into the turnbuckles by Christian. Tornado DDT! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Rating:76 X-Factor vs Hardy Boyz. Match Background: Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Jeff Hardy is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 07 June 2001. Matt Hardy is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 26 April 2001. The Match: X-Pac kicks the leg, knocks Jeff down, and goes to work on it. Second rope flying axe handle, Jeff goes down. One day, X-Pac might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Covers for a quick two count. X-Pac goes for a splash but Jeff puts the knees up. Standing leg lariat by Jeff Hardy on X-Pac. Jeff crushes X-Pac with a running senton. Tag to Matt Hardy. Matt uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! X-Pac pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Tag between X-Pac and Justin Credible. X-Factor whip Matt into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Matt Hardy takes a right hand to the temple from Credible. There's a two count on the pin. Credible hits a piledriver on Matt Hardy. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Credible tags out to X-Pac. Diamond Dust from X-Pac and Matt is out! Pin, but Matt is out just before the three count. Matt Hardy fights out of a grapple. Tag to Jeff Hardy. Flying elbow from Jeff Hardy connects. X-Pac can barely stand. Here it comes - Twist Of Fate. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Good bout. In my estimation, it's about ***3/4. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Rating:85 Chris Jericho vs Big Show and Rhyno. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. Rhyno is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 28 May 2001. The Match: Jericho is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Jericho takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Big Show scoops up Jericho. Rhyno bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Death valley driver by Rhyno! No one executes that move properly anymore. Pin, but Jericho is out just before the three count. Rhyno \ Show whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Jericho walks into a drop toe hold. Show takes a NICE hurrancarana from Chris Jericho. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Rhyno kicks Chris Jericho in the gut to reverse the momentum. BAAACK Body drop by Jericho gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Rhyno \ Show hook up Jericho, then hit a double suplex. Covers for a quick two count. Jericho counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Show walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Chris Jericho has Big Show down on the canvas. Walls Of Jericho!!! Big Show taps out! My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:83 Crowd Reaction:87 Match Quality:76 Kane corners Shane and asks him if he knows anything about the stalking of Sara. Shane pins the blame on Kurt Angle. 85 Kurt Angle is in the ring and UT comes out to interrogate him. Kurt Angle's comments are not up to UT's liking so Taker beats up Kurt. 83 Perry Saturn vs Steve Blackman. Match Background: None. The Match: Perry Saturn hits a bulldog off the ropes. High Angle DDT by Perry Saturn just SPIKES Steve Blackman down! Perry Saturn scores with a standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Running knee lift from Perry Saturn. Covers for a quick two count. Steve Blackman comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Steve Blackman with a spinning neckbreaker on Saturn. Saturn walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Perry Saturn comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Nice piledriver on Blackman. Steve Blackman is in trouble. Death Valley Driver! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. Overall:64 Crowd Reaction:53 Match Rating:73 Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, and Spike Dudley vs Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, and Molly Holly. Match Background: None. The Match: D-Von scoops and slams Crash Holly. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Flying shoulder tackle by D-Von sends Crash CRASHING to the mat. D-Von tags out to Spike Dudley. Spike Dudley hits a right hand on Crash Holly. Spike Dudley hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Spike Dudley and Bubba Ray Dudley. Spike \ Bubba whip Crash into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Running knee lift from Bubba Ray Dudley. Crash blocks a kick from Bubba Ray Dudley. Right hand from Crash on Bubba. Crash tags out to Hardcore Holly. Running clothesline from Hardcore Holly was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Hardcore Holly scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pin, but Bubba is out just before the three count. Hardcore slams Bubba Ray Dudley down. Bubba is sure in trouble now. Tag to Molly Holly. Molly hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Molly Holly hits a rolling kick on Bubba. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Bubba kicks Molly Holly in the gut to reverse the momentum. Tag between Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley. Running knee lift from D-Von Dudley. Tag between Molly Holly and Crash Holly. Crash Holly connects with rights and lefts and D-Von Dudley is down! D-Von Dudley comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. D-Von Dudley floors Crash Holly...and climbs the turnbuckles. Off the top - Dudleyville Drop, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:69 Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: This will be a cage bout. The Match: Benoit takes a back suplex. Kurt Angle throws Benoit into the cage. Kurt Angle climbs the cage, but gets pulled down by Benoit! A Gut buster connects on Benoit and hits hard. Chris Benoit takes a butterfly suplex from Angle. Chris Benoit reverses a hip toss. Chris Benoit throws Angle into the cage. Springboard reverse elbow by Chris Benoit. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Chris Benoit climbs the cage, but gets pulled down by Angle! Kurt Angle pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Benoit walks into a killer lariat, as opposed to a friendly lariat. TIGER DRIVER '91~! Almost KILLS Benoit. Benoit blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! STIFF high kick on Angle by Chris Benoit. Angle blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Kurt Angle climbs the cage, but gets pulled down by Benoit! Big dropkick by Kurt Angle, who got a ton of air on the move. Springboard dropkick from Chris Benoit. Nicely done. Chris Benoit goes to leave the cage by the door...but Steve Austin appears at ringside and slams the door on his head! Angle takes the opportunity, and climbs out the door for the win! Steve Austin has a chair. Chris Benoit stands up...and gets floored by a shot to the head. Another two shots smack down across his back, leaving him unmoving on the canvas. Stone Cold sets the chair up, then picks up Chris Benoit. He gets whipped into the ropes...and then drop toe holded, sending him face first into the chair! Steve Austin has left Benoit down and bloodied in the ring after a brutal assault! My Opinion: A **** rating is well deserved for the competitors in this match. Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Rating:91 Overall:80

Mad Matt is up for a match against anybody.

WWF Heat 6/10/01: Mick Foley is YOUR special guest host. 80 Crash Holly vs Funaki. Match Background: None. The Match: Nice piledriver on Funaki. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Crash Holly connects and Funaki is down! Death valley driver by Crash Holly! No one executes that move properly anymore. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! BAAACK Body drop by Funaki gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Covers for a quick two count. Funaki counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Crash takes a flying neckbreaker from Funaki. Funaki crushes Crash with a running senton. Crash powers out of a headlock. Massive backbreaker on Funaki and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Crash Holly misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Funaki knocks Crash to the outside, then signals for the Tornado DDT. He reaches out of the ring for Crash Holly...and gets clobbered with the ring bell! Right to the head! The referee wakes up to see Crash sliding in and making the pinfall: 1....2....3! Forget about it. My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:59 Match Quality:75 Mick Foley yaks it up. 87 Christian vs Raven. Match Background: None. The Match: Flying cross body off the top rope! DDT from the top rope by Christian. That looked KILLER. Raven walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Christian hits a dropkick on Raven and gets right back up. Covers for a quick two count. Raven counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! BAAACK Body drop by Christian gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Spinebuster by Raven. Christian avoids a Raven avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Raven takes a NICE hurrancarana from Christian. Christian floors Raven near the ropes and makes the pin. Christian is using the ropes for leverage! The referee hasn't seen it: 1....2....3!! My Opinion: This match gets two stars from me. Nothing more, nothing less. ** Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:59 Match Quality:78 Mick Foley chats with Michael Cole and Tazz. 89 Jeff Hardy is the NEW Lightheavyweight Champion. Billy Gunn vs Matt Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Matt Hardy has been WWF European champion since 26 April 2001. The Match: Billy walks into a high dropkick from Matt Hardy, almost losing several teeth in the process. Standing leg lariat by Matt Hardy on Billy. Spinning back kick from Matt Hardy. Covers for a quick two count. Flying elbow from Matt Hardy connects. There's a two count on the pin. Matt Hardy gets taken down out of nowhere! Billy Gunn hits a right hand on Matt Hardy and follows it up with a couple more. Hooks the leg for a two count. Billy hits a piledriver on Matt Hardy. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Matt Hardy pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. DDT from the top rope by Matt Hardy. That looked KILLER. Matt Hardy moves in for the kill. Twist Of Fate! 1....2....3. Matt Hardy offers a handshake to Billy...and he accepts it! No! Billy Gunn levels Matt with a cheap shot right hand! Billy Gunn spins Matt around. Billy Gunn hits the Fame-Ass-Er! Matt Hardy has been floored after the match. My Opinion: *1\2 rating. Hey, you wanted to make it harder on yourself, right? Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:71 Overall:68

WWF Smackdown 6/7/01: Hardcore Holly vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: Hardcore takes a back suplex. Kurt Angle snap suplexes Hardcore HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Angle is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Hooks the leg for a two count. Hardcore Holly fights out of a grapple. Hardcore slams Kurt Angle down. Angle is sure in trouble now. Angle hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Angle gets splashed in the corner. Kurt Angle once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Gutwrench into a stomach breaker. Hardcore may be winded. Kurt Angle floors Hardcore Holly. Ankle Lock!!! Hardcore Holly taps out! My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Overall:57 Crowd Reaction:55 Match Rating:60 Vince McMahon and Stone Cold vs Benoit and Jericho for the WWF Tag Team Titles...TONIGHT. 88 Jerry Lynn vs Jeff Hardy. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Lightweight title. Jerry Lynn has been WWF Lightweight champion since 29 April 2001. The Match: Jeff Hardy kicks the leg, knocks Lynn down, and goes to work on it. STIFF high kick on Lynn by Jeff Hardy. Jeff hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Hooks the leg for a two count. Implant DDT by Jeff Hardy! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Hooks the leg for a two count. Lynn blocks a kick from Jeff Hardy. Standing leg lariat by Jerry Lynn on Jeff. There's a two count on the pin. Flying cross body off the top rope! Jeff backdrops Jerry Lynn out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Jeff Hardy. DDT from the top rope by Jeff Hardy. That looked KILLER. Jeff Hardy has Jerry Lynn down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Off the top - Swanton Bomb, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: A ***3/4 rating! Yay! Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Rating:92 Sara is still being stalked. 43 X-Pac vs Kane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Kane has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 20 May 2001. The Match: Kane connects with rights and lefts and X-Pac is down! Kane slams X-Pac. Kane with a spinning neckbreaker on X-Pac. Running knee lift from Kane. Kane goes for a splash but X-Pac puts the knees up. Spin kick by X-Pac to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Flying reverse elbow by X-Pac. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kane blocks a punch. Massive backbreaker on X-Pac and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kane scores with a big spinebuster. Pin, but X-Pac is out just before the three count. Kane drops an elbow...but X-Pac moves out of the way. Standing leg lariat by X-Pac on Kane. Kane powers out of a headlock. Bodyslam by Kane. X-Pac is in trouble. Choke Slam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Albert comes running down the aisle with a chair, and gets into the ring! Albert hits Kane with a chair to the back! Kane goes down to the canvas, hurt. My Opinion: A wise man once said 'Can I get a side of bland with that bland'. He's dead now, though. That's what this match was...bland. ** Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Rating:74 Regal and Mick Foley have a chat and Regal declares Foley isn't good. Foley is Gone. 80 Dudley Boyz vs Saturn and Malenko. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: D-Von slams Dean Malenko down and motions to the crowd. Spear by D-Von Dudley. Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. Fallaway slam by Bubba Ray Dudley puts down Dean Malenko. Covers for a quick two count. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Malenko! Bubba tags out to D-Von Dudley. Dudley Boyz whip Malenko into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Malenko pushes out of a D-Von Dudley hold. Malenko tags out to Perry Saturn. Bodyslam by Saturn. D-Von walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Saturn tags out to Dean Malenko. Saturn and Malenko whip D-Von into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Malenko hits a dropkick on D-Von Dudley and gets right back up. D-Von takes a NICE hurrancarana from Dean Malenko. Malenko tags out to Perry Saturn. Perry Saturn with a spinning neckbreaker on D-Von. D-Von blocks a punch. D-Von tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. Full nelson slam on Saturn. Perry Saturn is all alone...3D!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: A **** rating is well deserved for the competitors in this match. Overall:86 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:92 Undertaker interrogates Shane and Shane's answers isn't to UT's liking so Shane gets beat up. 83 Edge vs Test. Match Background: None. The Match: Edge just WAFFLES Test with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Edge hits some punches. How generic. Test is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Hooks the leg for a two count. BIG clothesline on Test. Hooks the leg for a two count. Test is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Test hits a right hand on Edge and follows it up with a couple more. Covers for a quick two count. Test hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Edge once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Edge scores with a standing spinebuster. Test can barely stand. Here it comes - Spear. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: These guys worked SO HARD...for a ** rating. Something went wrong somewhere, didn't it? Overall:76 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Rating:72 Canadian Violence vs Vince McMahon and Steve Austin. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Steve Austin is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 31 March 2001. Canadian Violence have been WWF Tag Team champions since 21 May 2001. The Match: Spinning back kick from Chris Benoit. Second rope flying axe handle, Stone Cold goes down. One day, Benoit might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Covers for a quick two count. Benoit tags out to Chris Jericho. Canadian Violence hook up Stone Cold, then hit a double suplex. Covers for a quick two count. Flying elbow from Chris Jericho connects. Stone Cold reverses a Chris Jericho hammerlock. Nice piledriver on Jericho. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Steve Austin and Vince McMahon. Weak bodyslam by Vince. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Jericho gets splashed in the corner. Jericho blocks a punch. Chris Jericho hits a rolling kick on Vince. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Tag between Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit. STIFF high kick on Vince by Chris Benoit. Vince tags out to Steve Austin. Hard back suplex on Stone Cold. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Chris Benoit floors Steve Austin. Here it comes...Crippler Crossface! Steve Austin taps! My Opinion: Let me practice my math. 13 quarter stars equal a ***1\4 rating, right? Yeah, it does. That's what you get. Overall:86 Crowd Reaction:88 Match Quality:82 Overall:72

WWF Raw 6/4/01: Christian vs Kane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Kane has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 20 May 2001. The Match: THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Christian crushes Kane with a running senton. There's a two count on the pin. Christian drops an elbow...but Kane moves out of the way. Kane scoops and slams Christian. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Kane slams Christian down and motions to the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Spear! Christian is down! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Running knee lift from Kane. Christian pushes out of a Kane hold. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Kane is down! Hooks the leg for a two count. Springboard dropkick from Christian. Nicely done. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Spin kick by Christian to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Christian strikes Kane. Christian misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Kane with a spinning neckbreaker on Christian. Kane scores with a standing spinebuster. Hugh Morrus comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Christian turns around. Hugh Morrus slams Christian down. Hugh Morrus climbs to the top rope and hits the No Laughing Matter! Morrus leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. Kane defeats Christian. My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Quality:76 Stone Cold vs Chris Jericho for the belt tonight. Made by Mick Foley with one of his contracts and a little help from Jesse Ventura. 90 Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy. Match Background: Matt Hardy is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 26 April 2001. The Match: Jeff crushes Matt with a huge legdrop. Vicious kick to the teeth from Jeff Hardy. Power drive elbow by Jeff Hardy. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Hard back suplex on Matt. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Hooks the leg for a two count. Matt powers out of a headlock. Matt Hardy hits a rolling kick on Jeff. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Flying cross body off the top rope! Jeff counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Jeff crushes Matt with a huge legdrop. Jeff Hardy floors Matt Hardy...and climbs the turnbuckles. Off the top - Swanton Bomb, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: Absolutely solid match. A few minor things brought it down, so I'm tacking on a **** rating. Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:74 Match Quality:94 Kurt Angle has been entered in the King of the Ring Tournament this year. 83 Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, and Spike Dudley vs Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, and Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: Angle is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Bodyslam by Bubba. Tag to Spike Dudley. Weak bodyslam on Angle by Spike sets up a legdrop. Weak bodyslam by Spike. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Spike Dudley and D-Von Dudley. Spike Dudley scoops up Angle. D-Von bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Running knee lift from D-Von Dudley. Angle ducks a wild right hand. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Angle. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Tag to Crash Holly. Crash hits a dropkick on D-Von Dudley. Actually, it barely touched! Crash Holly scores with a big spinebuster. Pin, but D-Von is out just before the three count. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on D-Von Dudley by Crash. Remember when that was a legit finish? Tag to Hardcore Holly. Hardcore Holly strikes D-Von Dudley. D-Von takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. D-Von Dudley comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. BIG clothesline on Hardcore. Hardcore tags out to Kurt Angle. Bubba gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Angle! Bubba walks into a killer lariat, as opposed to a friendly lariat. Kurt Angle moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Angle Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:71 Chris Benoit vs Big Show. Match Background: None. The Match: Benoit hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Chris Benoit kicks the leg, knocks Show down, and goes to work on it. STIFF high kick on Show by Chris Benoit. Hooks the leg for a two count. Benoit uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Hooks the leg for a two count. Show flips out of a Chris Benoit bodyslam attempt. Big Show hits a right hand on Chris Benoit and follows it up with a couple more. Covers for a quick two count. Big Show hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Benoit blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Show walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one of those though? Big Show gets knocked to the ground by Benoit. Crippler Crossface!!! Big Show taps out! My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:77 Match Quality:54 Sara is being stalked. 49 Undertaker wants to know what's up with the stalking of his wife. Vince says that the same truck that is airing the WCW logo is airing the videos. Vince blames Shane for this. 65 Tazz vs Rhyno. Match Background: Rhyno is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 28 May 2001. The Match: Tazz gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Tazz by Rhyno. Remember when that was a legit finish? There's a two count on the pin. Tazz counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Tazz. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Double arm suplex by Tazz connects as Rhyno hits hard. Rhyno takes a butterfly suplex from Tazz. Rhyno avoids a Tazz avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Rhyno hits a bulldog off the ropes. Rhyno moves in for the kill. Here it comes - GORE. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: All it gets is a ***1\2 rating from me. Deal with it. Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:86 Terri vs Trish Stratus. Match Background: This will be a bra and panties bout. The Match: Terri hits a stump piledriver on Trish Stratus. Trish kicks Terri in the gut to reverse the momentum. Trish Stratus strikes Terri. Terri takes a right hand to the temple from Trish. Terri takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Trish walks into a drop toe hold. Terri hits a bulldog off the ropes. Flapjack from Terri on Trish. Weak slam from Terri sets Trish for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Trish has no worries. Trish blocks a kick from Terri. Running clothesline from Trish Stratus was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Side suplex from Trish. Perry Saturn comes running down the aisle with a chair! Terri goes to irish whip Trish Stratus into the ropes. Saturn jumps onto the apron with the chair...but Trish Stratus reverses! Collision between Saturn, Terri, and the chair! Terri falls to the canvas. Terri is in trouble. Stratusfaction!!! That shook the ring. Trish Stratus pulls the clothes off Terri to leave her in her bra and panties for the win! My Opinion: That was just BRUTAL to watch. -** Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:26 Chris Jericho vs Steve Austin. Match Background: This match is for the WWF World title. Steve Austin has been WWF World champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Jericho walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Steve Austin scores with a big spinebuster. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Steve Austin connects and Chris Jericho is down! Pin, but Jericho is out just before the three count. Running knee lift from Steve Austin. Covers for a quick two count. Jericho reverses a Steve Austin hammerlock. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Jericho. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Lightning kick by Jericho on Stone Cold. Stone Cold counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Steve Austin hits a bulldog off the ropes. Steve Austin moves in for the kill. Stone Cold Stunner!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Consider yourself lucky, a ****1\4 is hard to get and it was earned every step of the way. Let's see if you can do better now. Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:89 Match Quality:93 Overall:76

WWF Heat 6/3/01: Kurt Angle is YOUR special guest host on Heat. 88 Billy Gunn vs Val Venis. Match Background: None. The Match: Billy Gunn strikes Val Venis. Billy Gunn strikes Val Venis. Billy Gunn hits a right hand on Val Venis and follows it up with a couple more. Covers for a quick two count. Running clothesline from Billy Gunn was actually MIGHTY sloppy. There's a two count on the pin. Val reverses a Billy Gunn hammerlock. Val scoops and slams Billy Gunn. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Covers for a quick two count. Full nelson slam on Billy. Billy counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Flapjack from Billy on Val. Val Venis can barely stand. Fame-Ass-Er! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:73 Kurt Angle yaks it up on THE STICK~! 93 Look at the stalking of Sara Undertaker. 43 Big Show vs Test. Match Background: None. The Match: Show hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Weak bodyslam on Show by Test sets up a legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Show blocks a kick from Test. Weak bodyslam on Test by Show sets up a legdrop. Uninspired brawling from Big Show. Test takes a right hand to the temple from Show. Test powers out of a headlock. Test DDTs Show, but it just looked terrible. Big Show can barely stand. Big Boot!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:77 Match Quality:47 Q and A with Kurt. 88 Perry Saturn vs Steve Blackman. Match Background: None. The Match: Blackman slams Perry Saturn. Running knee lift from Steve Blackman. There's a two count on the pin. Perry Saturn fights out of a grapple. Saturn slams Steve Blackman down and motions to the crowd. Saturn hits a right hand. Steve Blackman charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Blackman blocks a kick from Perry Saturn. Spear by Steve Blackman. Steve Blackman has Perry Saturn down on the canvas. Perry Saturn gets locked in the Guillotine Choke! Submission victory! My Opinion: These guys worked SO HARD...for a ** rating. Something went wrong somewhere, didn't it? Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:75 Overall:69

DDW Warrior-Mania for 2/22/03: Horace Hogan vs Joey Abs vs Pete Gas. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the XPW World title. Pete Gas has been XPW World champion since 11 February 2004. The Match: Gas receives some punishment by Horace Hogan but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Joey Abs throws Horace into a shopping trolley. Gas backdrops Joey Abs out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Pete Gas. BIG clothesline from Gas. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Pete Gas DDTs Horace in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Horace Hogan's head didn't touch the mat at all. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flapjack from Abs on Gas. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Gas flips out of a Joey Abs bodyslam attempt. Frying pan shot by Gas. Side suplex from Horace. Pete Gas can barely stand. Here it comes - Lariat. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:37 Crowd Reaction:36 Match Quality:48 (We kick off the night that may rival King of the Ring 1995 for sheer suckiness. Just wait until you see the "special" unadvertised main event and the stipulation for the World Unification Match. Horace Hogan picks up the XPW World Title as this promotion continues to go down the crapper) Ahmed Johnson vs Mr. Warrior vs Nikita Koloff. Match Background: This will be a triangle bout. This match is for the Big Red and Yellow title. Nikita Koloff has been Big Red and Yellow champion since 31 January 2004. The Match: Nikita Koloff hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Ahmed Johnson is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Nikita Koloff hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Mr. Warrior is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Ahmed reverses a waistlock. Ahmed Johnson hits a BIG clothesline for two! Warrior hits a stump piledriver on Ahmed Johnson. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Boring brawling from Nikita Koloff is the cure for insomnia. Warrior counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Ahmed \ Warrior whip Koloff into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Ahmed Johnson knocks Koloff down to the canvas with a clothesline. Mr. Warrior punches away at Ahmed Johnson only to get the tides turned quickly. Ahmed Johnson fights out of a grapple. Koloff takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Nikita Koloff can barely stand. Pearl River Plunge!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: That was just BRUTAL to watch. -** Overall:39 Crowd Reaction:50 Match Quality:33 (Ahmed Johnson picks up the Big Red and Yellow Title. He will face Horace Hogan in a unification match which will have a very special stipulation. More crappy wrestling now) Alex Porteau and Freddie Joe Floyd vs 2 Bad Mothertruckers. Match Background: This match is for the Red and Yellow Tag titles. 2 Bad Mothertruckers have been Red and Yellow Tag champions since 31 December 2003. The Match: Horowitz receives a spinning neckbreaker from Porteau. Porteau just FLATTENS Barry Horowitz with a hard right hand! Covers for a quick two count. Porteau drops an elbow...but Barry Horowitz moves out of the way. Some pretty weak shots by Horowitz. Powerslam from Barry Horowitz on Porteau. Horowitz tags out to Maxx Payne. Maxx Payne with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Porteau. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Porteau blocks a kick from Maxx Payne. Tag to Freddie Joe Floyd. Porteau \ Floyd whip Payne into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Big dropkick by Freddie Joe Floyd, who got a ton of air on the move. Covers for a quick two count. Massive back suplex! Maxx Payne got snapped in half, but not literally because that would just end the match now wouldn't it. Tag to Alex Porteau. Alex Porteau nearly ends the career of Payne with a screwed up german suplex. GET AWAY FROM THE WRESTLING BUSINESS! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Porteau charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Payne tags out to Barry Horowitz. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Horowitz on Porteau. Alex Porteau is in big trouble...Glass Ceiling!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:38 Crowd Reaction:35 Match Rating:51 (Ouch. Two Bad Mothertruckers are one half of the tag team title unification match. Who is the other half. TUNE INTO NITRO TO FIND OUT. Oh wait. Wrong line) Nothing But Gold vs Blindsiders. Match Background: This match is for the XPW Tag Team titles. Blindsiders have been XPW Tag Team champions since 18 February 2004. The Match: Weak bodyslam on Supreme by Haul sets up a legdrop. Supreme powers out of a Scotch Haul headlock. Weak bodyslam on Haul by Supreme sets up a legdrop. Tag to Hardcore Homo Angel. Running clothesline from Hardcore Homo Angel was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Haul takes a vertical suplex from Hardcore Homo Angel. Hardcore Homo Angel misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Scotch Haul hits a right hand on Hardcore Homo Angel. Haul tags out to Devin Nash. Uninspired brawling from Devin Nash. Weak bodyslam on Angel by Nash sets up a legdrop. Devin Nash gets taken down out of nowhere! Devin Nash takes a right hand to the temple from Angel. Tag to Supreme. Supreme turns Nash inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Devin Nash takes a right hand to the temple from Supreme. Devin Nash is in big trouble...Double Flatliner!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP. Overall:38 Crowd Reaction:39 Match Quality:48 (The point of putting the belts on the Blindsiders was....I have no clue. Two Bad Mothertruckers will face Nothing But Gold in the unification match inside the confines of a steel cage. This will probally be the match for not. Either that or the battle of the Villanos) Brian Knobbs vs What. Match Background: This will be a texas death bout. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title and Hardcore Title. What has been XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion since 14 February 2004. The Match: What takes a weak kick. Brian Knobbs smashes a Playstation console over the head of What. Should have used an X-Box, they're much bigger. Some pretty weak shots by Knobbs. Pin, but What is out just before the three count. Big forearm by Knobbs draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. ONE...TWO...THREE. Knobbs defeats What. The referee is counting: 5....6....What is back up. What avoids a Brian Knobbs avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Brian Knobbs takes a right hand to the temple from What. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Cover gets three for What, Knobbs got pinned. The referee gets to a five count....and Brian Knobbs gets back up. What hits a piledriver on Brian Knobbs. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. What gets taken down out of nowhere! Brian Knobbs knocks What down to the canvas with a clothesline. What is in trouble. Powerslam! 1....2....3. The referee counts to 10, this match is over! My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:50 Crowd Reaction:58 Match Quality:52 (The Boy. The Boy. The Nasty Boy walks out with both the KODM Title and the Hardcore Title. Brian Knobbs should be a good undisputed Hardcore Champion, providing this fed doesn't go bankrupt because of this show) Villanos vs Villano XIV, Villano XVIII, and Villano XXX. Match Background: This will be a 3 on 2 handicap bout. The Match: Villano 30 hits a dropkick on Villano V and gets right back up. Vil V takes a flying neckbreaker from Villano XXX. Vil V powers out of a headlock. Slingshot clothesline by Vil V, who almost messed it up by slipping on the ropes. Tag to Villano XVIII. Weak kicks from Vil V, who is moving slug-like...or should I say Nash-like? Villano V uses a running dropkick into the corner. Hooks the leg for a two count. Villano 18 blocks a punch. Villano 18 tags out to Villano XIV. Villano 14 \ Villano 18 whip Vil V into the corner. Villano XIV whips Villano XVIII in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Villano V gets hip tossed by Villano 14. Villano 14 hits a soaring kick on Vil V. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flying elbow off the top rope by Villano XIV, getting as close to zero air as possible. Pin, but Vil V is out just before the three count. Villano XIV with an enziguri! HBK isn't moving...uh oh. Oh, sorry, I had a flashback to the last time I got fooled. Pin, but Vil V is out just before the three count. Tag to Villano XVIII. Villano XVIII scoops up Vil V. Villano 14 bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Vil V takes a chop from Villano 18. Vil V reverses a Villano XVIII hammerlock. Vil V tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Villano XVIII. Tag to Villano IV. Villanos hook up Villano 18, then hit a double suplex. Badly executed second rope splash by Vil IV. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Villano XXX. Villano 30 takes a chop from Vil IV. Vil IV tries to channel the power of Kawada, but ends up channeling the power of Trish Stratus instead by hitting a high kick on Villano XXX. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Villano 30 flips out of a Villano IV bodyslam attempt. Villano 30 tags out to Villano XIV. Villano 30 \ Villano 14 whip Vil IV into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Villano IV takes a knee lift from Villano 14. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig. Covers for a quick two count. Villano 14 tags out to Villano XVIII. Villano XVIII uses a running dropkick into the corner. That was just...ugh. Villano XVIII with an enziguri. Vil IV backdrops Villano XVIII out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Villano IV. Flying knee to the face from Villano IV. For the record it was more of a Rusty Wizard than a Shining one. Villano XVIII gets knocked to the ground by Vil IV. La Magistral!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:36 Crowd Reaction:24 Match Quality:58 The Real Villanos win this Dud Fest. Several high impact moves and the Magistral Cradle finishes?? This is actually Flair-Steamboat compared to the rest of this fed. Sad but true. Let's get to some more unification shall we) Nothing But Gold vs 2 Bad Mothertruckers. Match Background: This will be a cage bout. This match is for the XPW Tag Team titles and Tag Team Titles. The Match: Nothing But Gold whip Horowitz into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Payne gets splashed in the corner. Horowitz blocks a punch. Barry Horowitz launches Supreme into the cage wall. Payne slams Hardcore Homo Angel down. Angel is sure in trouble now. Maxx Payne throws Angel into the cage. Payne walks into a drop toe hold. Supreme DDTs Horowitz, but it just looked terrible. Barry Horowitz is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Barry Horowitz has Supreme down on the canvas. Horowitzer!!! Maxx Payne floors Hardcore Homo Angel. Hardcore Homo Angel gets locked in the Payne Killer! Hardcore Homo Angel goes limp! 2 Bad Mothertruckers escape the cage for the win. My Opinion: Hot pokers would be a little too nice to the booking committee for subjecting me to this bile -**. Overall:36 Crowd Reaction:42 Match Quality:39 Two Bad Mothertruckers are the Undisputed Tag Team Champions of the WORLD. Barry Horowitz hold not one, but two belts is surreal. The next match will be an Iron Man Match: Ahmed Johnson vs Horace Hogan. Match Background: This will be an iron man bout. This match is for the Big Red and Yellow title and the XPW World Title. The Match: FIRST FALL: Ahmed Johnson takes a right hand to the temple from Horace. Horace Hogan hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Hooks the leg for a two count. Ahmed blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Ahmed Johnson connects on Horace Hogan with a flurry in the corner...but no one seems to care. Punch by Ahmed, missing Horace COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatHorace didn't sell it. Covers for a quick two count. Sloppy discus punch from Ahmed Johnson barely connects on Horace. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Boring brawling from Ahmed Johnson is the cure for insomnia. Horace Hogan is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Powerslam from Horace Hogan on Ahmed. There's a two count on the pin. Horace Hogan scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Big kick from Horace staggers Ahmed but that's about it. Ahmed Johnson takes a right hand to the temple from Horace. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Ahmed Johnson once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Ahmed Johnson strikes Horace Hogan. Side suplex from Ahmed. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Cover gets three for Ahmed Johnson, Horace got pinned. SECOND FALL: Weak kick from Ahmed. I am unpleased. BORING ass brawling from Ahmed. Big forearm by Ahmed draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Punch by Ahmed, missing Horace COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatHorace didn't sell it. Ahmed Johnson gets taken down out of nowhere! Big kick from Horace staggers Ahmed but that's about it. Horace Hogan hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Ahmed Johnson avoids a Horace Hogan avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Ahmed Johnson DDTs Horace in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Horace Hogan's head didn't touch the mat at all. Covers for a quick two count. Side suplex from Ahmed. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Horace Hogan is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Weak bodyslam by Horace. Cover gets three for Horace Hogan, Ahmed got pinned. THIRD FALL: Ahmed Johnson punches away at Horace Hogan only to get the tides turned quickly. Horace blocks a kick from Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed receives some punishment by Horace Hogan but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Horace Hogan scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Cover, but there's no one to count for Horace Hogan! Ahmed Johnson is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Punch by Ahmed, missing Horace COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatHorace didn't sell it. Powerslam from Ahmed Johnson on Horace. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy discus punch from Ahmed Johnson barely connects on Horace. Pin, but Horace is out just before the three count. Ahmed goes for a splash but Horace puts the knees up. Horace Hogan hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Horace walks into a drop toe hold. Horace Hogan is in trouble. Pearl River Plunge! 1....2....3. END OF BOUT. My Opinion: Hot pokers would be a little too nice to the booking committee for subjecting me to this bile -**. Overall:27 Crowd Reaction:30 Match Quality:32 These two let me down. I want -*****. Well Ahmed is the Undisputed Champion of the World. We have time left on the PPV. XPW is good and dead but let's rub the final bit of salt in the wounds. Lizzy Borden vs Mr. Warrior for control of the company with Giant Gonzales as the referee. Yes you heard that right. Lizzy Borden vs Mr. Warrior. Match Background: This will be a special guest referee bout. Giant Gonzales will be the referee for this match. The Match: Mr. Warrior punches away at Lizzy Borden only to get the tides turned quickly. Big forearm by Warrior draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Hooks the leg for a two count. Borden powers out of a headlock. Lizzy Borden punches away at Mr. Warrior. Mr. Warrior gets hip tossed by Borden and follows it up with two more. Dropkick from Borden results in the front row looking for Warrior's teeth!Mr. Warrior powers out of a Lizzy Borden headlock. Mr. Warrior hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Lizzy Borden is in control. Giant Gonzales comes up behind...low blow! Borden collapses to the floor. Mr. Warrior takes the advantage. Mr. Warrior has Lizzy Borden down on the canvas. Here it comes - Gorilla Press and Splash, forget about it. 1....2...3! Giant Gonzales nails an unsuspecting Borden with a forearm to the face. Giant Gonzales floors Lizzy Borden. Chokey Thing!!! Lizzy Borden goes limp! Giant Gonzales leaves Borden down on the canvas, hurt. My Opinion: -****. What? You've never seen a negative four star match before? That's funny, cuz you just booked it. Don't EVER do that again! Overall:19 Crowd Reaction:25 Match Quality:18 Cream of the crap that match ruled. That was what wrestling is all about. Lizzy Borden and her XPW people are gone. Except for Supreme, who is the Unified Television Champion. They are gone. What? Fired. What? Dissapeared. What? See Ya. Overall:31 0.28 Buy Rate for Warrior-Mania.

Tussels with Tassels 2/21/03: Mr. Warrior comes out and says that tonight their will be a 10 Man Battle Royal to determine one of the challengers for the World Title held by Nikita Koloff for tommorow night. Also tommorow night 2 Bad Mothertruckers defend the tag team titles against Alex Porteau and Freddie Joe Floyd. Crickets chirp. Let's get down to that Number Two Contender Battle Royal. 44 10 Man Battle Royal. Match Background: What is the reigning XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion, and has been since 14 February 2004. Hacksaw Bradshaw is the reigning United States champion, and has been since 03 December 2003. The Match: Underfaker hits a right hand on Robert Gibson and follows it up with a couple more. Weak bodyslam on Gibson by Underfaker sets up a legdrop. Hacksaw Bradshaw hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Bradshaw threw Vader over the top rope, but Vader skinned the cat to save himself! Big kick from Holly staggers Jannetty but that's about it. Marty Jannetty takes a right hand to the temple from Holly. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Gibson receives some punishment by Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Robert Gibson got eliminated by Holly. (Elimination # 1) Morton hits a soaring kick on Ahmed. Morton went for the elimination, but Ahmed Johnson held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Weak bodyslam on Underfaker by Holly sets up a legdrop. Underfaker was eliminated by Holly. (Elimination # 2) Ahmed Johnson punches away at Alex Wright only to get the tides turned quickly. Alex Wright got eliminated by Ahmed. (Elimination # 3) Hacksaw Bradshaw punches away at Marty Jannetty. Marty Jannetty got bundled out by Bradshaw. (Elimination # 4) BORING ass brawling from Ahmed. Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly got eliminated by Ahmed. (Elimination # 5) Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Ahmed Johnson by Vader. Remember when that was a legit finish? Vader tried to eliminate Ahmed Johnson, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! What hits a right hand on Ricky Morton and follows it up with a couple more. Ricky Morton got bundled out by What. (Elimination # 6) Vader takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Bradshaw threw Vader over the top rope, but Vader skinned the cat to save himself! What strikes Vader. What went for the elimination, but Vader held on to the ropes at the last possible second! What hits a piledriver on Ahmed Johnson. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. What went for the elimination, but Ahmed Johnson held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Running clothesline from What was actually MIGHTY sloppy. What threw Vader over the top rope, but Vader skinned the cat to save himself! A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Ahmed on Vader. Ahmed tried to eliminate Vader, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! Powerslam from Hacksaw Bradshaw on Vader. Bradshaw tried to eliminate Vader, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! What hits a right hand on Ahmed Johnson. What went for the elimination, but Ahmed Johnson held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Vader slams Hacksaw Bradshaw. Vader threw Hacksaw Bradshaw all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. (Elimination # 7) Vader connects with rights and lefts and What is down! What got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Vader. (Elimination # 8) Ahmed Johnson punches away at Vader only to get the tides turned quickly. Ahmed Johnson punches away at Vader. Vader can barely stand. Pearl River Plunge! Ahmed threw Vader all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. My Opinion: CRAPTASTIC~! -**. Overall:44 Crowd Reaction:55 Match Quality:36 Ahmed Johnson will face Nikita Koloff and the Number One Contender(who shall be revealed later on tonight) for the DDW World Title at Warrior Mania tommorow night. I had no less than FOUR people complain about Ahmed winning. Such is life. Mr. Warrior stirs the pot with Angel and Supreme by making them face each other for the 10 Minute Time Limit Title tonight. 53 Hardcore Homo Angel vs Supreme. Match Background: This match is for the 10 Minute Time Limit title. Supreme is the reigning XPW Television champion, and has been since 18 January 2004. Supreme has been 10 Minute Time Limit champion since 10 January 2004. The Match: Angel suplexes Supreme to the canvas and picks the opponent back up again. Supreme hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Big kick from Angel staggers Supreme but that's about it. Supreme takes a right hand to the temple from Angel. Supreme elbows Hardcore Homo Angel in the face to break a hammerlock. Hardcore Homo Angel takes a right hand to the temple from Supreme. Supreme hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Angel blocks a kick from Supreme. Big clothesline from Angel. There's a two count on the pin. Hardcore Homo Angel turns Supreme inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Supreme elbows Hardcore Homo Angel in the face to break a hammerlock. Supreme strikes Hardcore Homo Angel. Angel kicks Supreme in the gut to reverse the momentum. Supreme takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. The referee tries to separate the two grapplers...and gets knocked over and trampled on as they brawl! That's enough, the referee calls for the bell - double DQ! The fight has started up again! Hardcore Homo Angel attacks Supreme, and they brawl all around ringside, then into the crowd! They eventually disappear backstage, still fighting. My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:43 Crowd Reaction:36 Match Quality:61 In-Fighting between Supreme and Angel, which is NOT good going into this Sunday. The Blindsiders will defend the XPW Tag Team Titles against Nothing but Gold. Sunday. Order the PPV now. Villano XVIII vs Villano IV. Match Background: None. The Match: Back heel kick from Vil IV on Villano 18 but it misses by miles. Vil IV face jams Villano XVIII. Villano IV with an enziguri. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Vil IV hits a spinning back kick. All those spinning kicks look alike, don't they. Hooks the leg for a two count. Villano IV misses a clothesline. Villano IV takes a knee lift from Villano 18. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig. Villano XVIII hits a shitty missile dropkick on Vil IV. Vil IV blocks a punch. Villano IV uses a running dropkick into the corner. That was just...ugh. Villano XVIII can barely stand. DDT! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD. Overall:38 Crowd Reaction:25 Match Quality:61 All the Villanos will battle each other this Sunday in a 3 on 2 Handicap Match. Villano XIV, XVIII. and XXX will face IV and V. Villano IV pins Villano XVIII tonight. Nikita Koloff says he will be that filthy mush mouth American Ahmed Johnson and whomever else he has to face at Warrior Mania. 67 Alex Porteau vs Barry Horowitz. Match Background: None. The Match: Barry Horowitz walks into a chop. That must have hurt. Horowitz receives a spinning neckbreaker from Porteau. Barry Horowitz walks into a chop. That must have hurt. Hooks the leg for a two count. Double leg takedown from Alex Porteau sets up a ground and pound in the middle of the ring. What the hell is this, UFC? Covers for a quick two count. Horowitz counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Barry Horowitz punches away at Alex Porteau only to get the tides turned quickly. There's a two count on the pin. Barry Horowitz DDTs Porteau in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Alex Porteau's head didn't touch the mat at all. Barry Horowitz gets taken down out of nowhere! Chin crusher by Alex Porteau, the execution wasn't great though. I'd like to see a good Chin Crusher, that just sounds devastating. Alex Porteau moves in for the kill. Powerslam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP. Overall:36 Crowd Reaction:31 Match Quality:50 Porteau pins Horowitz to set up 1996 WWF Hell vs Two Bad Mothertruckers at the PPV. Mr. Warrior is on the big screen and he says the Number One Contender will come out shortly. Music kicks up and out runs....THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR. He shakes the ropes. Mr. Warrior is still on the big screen. This Sunday Ahmed, Koloff, and the Ultimate Warrior for the championship of the world. 63 Overall:50 0.38 Rating for T with T. Warrior Mania Card: DDW World Title Match: Ahmed Johnson vs the Ultimate Warrior vs Nikita Koloff© XPW World Title Match: Pete Gas© vs Horace Hogan vs Joey Abs XPW Tag Team Title Match: Nothing but Gold vs the Blinsiders© DDW Tag Team Title Match: Freddie Joe Floyd and Alex Porteau vs Two Bad Mothertruckers. When Villanos Collide: Los Villanos Original(IV and V) vs Los Villanos New(XIV, XVIII, and XXX) Plus Unification Fun: DDW Hardcore Title vs XPW King of the Death Match Title Unification Match: Brian Knobbs(DDW Hardcore) vs What(XPW KOTDM) XPW Tag Team Title Match Winner vs DDW Tag Team Title Winner(Unification) Main Event: XPW World Title Winner vs DDW World Title Winner Unification. The Invasion ends after this PPV. Don't expect it to ever be mentioned again after this show.

WWF Smackdown 5/31/01: Austin-Benoit, the REMATCH is made for later tonight. 100 Edge vs Kane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Kane has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 20 May 2001. The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Edge who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! BAAACK Body drop by Edge gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Hooks the leg for a two count. Edge flips out of a Kane bodyslam attempt. Fallaway slam by Edge puts down Kane. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Edge ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Edge. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Kane fights out of a grapple. Kane hits a piledriver on Edge. That used to end matches, you know. Kane moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Choke Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: *** rating for an above average match. Overall:80 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:81 Bubba Ray Dudley vs Hardcore Holly. Match Background: None. The Match: Bubba hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Bubba Ray Dudley takes a right hand to the temple from Hardcore. There's a two count on the pin. Bubba Ray Dudley pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Bubba slams Hardcore Holly down and motions to the crowd. Bubba Ray Dudley hits some punches. How generic. BIG clothesline on Hardcore. Hardcore counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Big clothesline from Hardcore. Crash Holly comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Bubba turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Crash! Crash Holly has left Bubba in big trouble. Bubba Ray Dudley can barely stand. Alabama Slam! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give a 3/4 star rating, but only if you promise to improve as a booker. Overall:55 Crowd Reaction:40 Match Quality:70 Sara Undertaker is being stalked. SMELL THE MYSTERY. 53 Kurt Angle double dares Shane to interfere in his match tonight against Chris Jericho. 84 Chris Jericho vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: Chris Jericho strikes Angle. Fallaway slam by Chris Jericho puts down Kurt Angle. Covers for a quick two count. Jericho drops an elbow...but Kurt Angle moves out of the way. Vertical suplex by Kurt Angle. Angle drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Jericho. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Kurt Angle misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Big piledriver on Angle. Spike Dudley comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Angle turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Spike! Spike Dudley has left Angle in big trouble. Kurt Angle gets knocked to the ground by Jericho. Walls Of Jericho!!! Kurt Angle taps out! My Opinion: This match had it all! Big bumps, incredible, crisp moves, sound psychology. Simply one of the best matches of the year. *****! Overall:94 Crowd Reaction:88 Match Quality:100 Rhyno vs Raven. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Rhyno has been WWF Hardcore champion since 28 May 2001. The Match: Rhyno scoops and slams Raven. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Rhyno slams Raven down and motions to the crowd. Hooks the leg for a two count. Raven comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Rhyno by Raven. Remember when that was a legit finish? Raven scoops and slams Rhyno. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Raven chair shots Rhyno. Rhyno counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Rhyno hits a bulldog off the ropes. Raven is in trouble. GORE!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: **1/4 rating for this one. Scott Keith may say that it's 'Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling', but not for me, buddy. Got to work harder to impress me. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:52 Match Quality:81 Stephanie McMahon says that Austin will get his when Triple H comes back from his injury. 82 X-Factor vs Eddie Guerrero, Jeff Hardy, and Matt Hardy. Match Background: Matt Hardy is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 26 April 2001. The Match: Albert hits Matt. Albert with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Matt. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Tag between Albert and X-Pac. Implant DDT by X-Pac! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Matt takes a NICE hurrancarana from X-Pac. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Justin Credible. X-Factor whip Matt into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Matt gets splashed in the corner. Credible goes for a splash but Matt puts the knees up. Vertical suplex by Matt Hardy. Tag between Matt Hardy and Eddie Guerrero. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Springboard dropkick from Eddie Guerrero. Nicely done. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Second rope flying axe handle, Credible goes down. One day, Eddie might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Tag between Eddie Guerrero and Jeff Hardy. Standing leg lariat by Jeff Hardy on Credible. Second rope flying axe handle, Credible goes down. One day, Jeff might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Credible counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Tag between Justin Credible and Albert. Albert strikes Jeff Hardy with a hard blow. Tag to Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy kicks the leg, knocks Albert down, and goes to work on it. Albert comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Matt Hardy can barely stand. Here it comes - Baldo Bomb. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:76 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:77 Sara is still being stalked. 53 Chris Benoit vs Steve Austin. Match Background: This match is for the WWF World title. Steve Austin has been WWF World champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Steve Austin connects with rights and lefts and Chris Benoit is down! Stone Cold scoops and slams Chris Benoit. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? BIG clothesline on Benoit. Chris Benoit charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Chris Benoit avoids a Steve Austin avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Chris Benoit hits a rolling kick on Stone Cold. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Superkick by Chris Benoit practically knocks out all of Steve Austin's teeth! There's a two count on the pin. Stone Cold flips out of a Chris Benoit bodyslam attempt. Spear by Steve Austin. Covers for a quick two count. High Angle DDT by Steve Austin just SPIKES Chris Benoit down! Pin, but Benoit is out just before the three count. Stone Cold charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Chris Benoit connects with a back heel kick on Stone Cold and gets back up quickly. Stone Cold counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Fallaway slam by Steve Austin puts down Chris Benoit. Steve Austin floors Benoit near the ropes and makes the pin. Stone Cold is using the ropes for leverage! The referee hasn't seen it: 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Let me practice my math. 13 quarter stars equal a ***1\4 rating, right? Yeah, it does. That's what you get. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:83 Overall:72

WWF Raw 5/28/01: Vince McMahon makes Chris Benoit vs Rhyno and Chris Jericho vs Big Show tonight. Which ever Canadian impresses him the most, gets a title shot against Stone Cold. 97 Hardy Boyz vs X-Factor. Match Background: Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Matt Hardy is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 26 April 2001. The Match: STIFF high kick on X-Pac by Jeff Hardy. Hard back suplex on X-Pac. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy. Hardy Boyz hook up X-Pac, then hit a double suplex. Covers for a quick two count. Matt Hardy hits a rolling kick on X-Pac. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. X-Pac elbows Matt Hardy in the face to break a hammerlock. Matt takes a NICE hurrancarana from X-Pac. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between X-Pac and Justin Credible. Weak bodyslam by Credible. Pin, but Matt is out just before the three count. Big kick from Credible staggers Matt but that's about it. Matt Hardy comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Second rope flying axe handle, Credible goes down. One day, Matt might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Matt tags out to Jeff Hardy. Jeff just WAFFLES Credible with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Tag to X-Pac. Spin kick by Jeff Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. X-Pac can barely stand. Twist Of Fate! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Overall:80 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:80 Chris Benoit vs Rhyno. Match Background: None. The Match: SUPER frankensteiner on Rhyno, who hit hard. Vicious chokeslam byChris Benoit! I'd compare it to Akira Taue, but then that would start another argument on the TSM Forums. Slingshot senton by Benoit, crushing the chest cavity of Rhyno. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Benoit uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Covers for a quick two count. Benoit walks into a drop toe hold. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Chris Benoit by Rhyno. Remember when that was a legit finish? Spinebuster by Rhyno. Benoit reverses a waistlock. Springboard reverse elbow by Chris Benoit. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Chris Benoit has Rhyno down on the canvas. Crippler Crossface!!! Rhyno taps out! My Opinion: All it gets is a ***1\2 rating from me. Deal with it. Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:85 Perry Saturn and Terri vs Trish Stratus and Steve Blackman. Match Background: None. The Match: BIG clothesline on Trish. Full nelson slam on Trish. Hooks the leg for a two count. Saturn tags out to Terri. Terri \ Saturn whip Trish into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Boring brawling from Terri is the cure for insomnia. There's a two count on the pin. BORING ass brawling from Terri. Terri goes for a splash but Trish puts the knees up. Trish Stratus turns Terri inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Tag to Steve Blackman. Flying shoulder tackle by Blackman sends Terri CRASHING to the mat. Massive backbreaker on Terri and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Blackman charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Tag to Perry Saturn. Spinebuster by Perry Saturn. High Angle DDT by Perry Saturn just SPIKES Steve Blackman down! Pin, but Blackman is out just before the three count. Saturn slams Steve Blackman. Steve Blackman avoids a Perry Saturn avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Nice piledriver on Saturn. Lance Storm comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Perry Saturn turns around. Lance Storm drops Saturn to the canvas. Lance Storm quickly locks on the Canadian Maple Leaf! Storm leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. Blackman defeats Saturn. My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:54 Big Show vs Chris Jericho. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Big Show has been WWF Hardcore champion since 21 May 2001. The Match: Show takes a NICE hurrancarana from Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho scoop slams Show onto and through a table. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Show! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Stun Gun from Chris Jericho! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. Hooks the leg for a two count. Show powers out of a headlock. Running clothesline from Big Show was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Big clothesline from Show. Jericho counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Flying cross body off the top rope! Big Show gets knocked to the ground by Jericho. Here it comes...Walls Of Jericho! Big Show taps! Rhyno comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Rhyno spins Jericho around. Rhyno hits the GORE! Chris Jericho has been left down on the canvas. My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:74 Crowd Reaction:85 Match Quality:49 Chris Jericho vs Rhyno. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Chris Jericho has been WWF Hardcore champion since 28 May 2001. The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Rhyno ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Jericho gets slammed onto a trash can, squashing it. Jericho takes a headbutt from Rhyno. Hooks the leg for a two count. Bodyslam by Rhyno. Covers for a quick two count. Jericho counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Spinning back kick from Chris Jericho. There's a two count on the pin. Massive backbreaker on Rhyno and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Rhyno powers out of a headlock. Death valley driver by Rhyno! No one executes that move properly anymore. Chris Jericho is in trouble. GORE! 1....2....3. My Opinion: *** rating for an above average match. Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:92 Match Quality:78 Albert vs Eddie Guerrero. Match Background: None. The Match: Eddie Guerrero connects with a back heel kick on Albert and gets back up quickly. Eddie uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! There's a two count on the pin. Albert powers out of a headlock. Albert slams Eddie Guerrero down. Eddie is sure in trouble now. Covers for a quick two count. Albert hits a piledriver on Eddie Guerrero. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Covers for a quick two count. Eddie reverses a waistlock. Superkick by Eddie Guerrero practically knocks out all of Albert's teeth! Pin, but Albert is out just before the three count. Albert blocks a punch. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Flapjack from Albert on Eddie. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Albert hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Eddie pushes out of a Albert hold. Eddie Guerrero floors Albert...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Frog Splash! 1....2....3. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:43 Match Quality:73 Dudley Boyz vs Holly Cousins. Match Background: This will be a tables bout. Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Brutal sit out powerbomb on Hardcore! Dudley Boyz whip Crash into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. D-Von slams Hardcore Holly down and motions to the crowd. Hardcore counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Flying shoulder tackle by Crash sends D-Von CRASHING to the mat. Crash charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Spear! Hardcore is down! Bubba climbs onto the table with Hardcore Holly and hits a bodyslam through it for the win! My Opinion: Not good enough to earn an entire star. 3/4* for you. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Quality:60 Triple H surgery video. 75 Chris Benoit vs Steve Austin. Match Background: This match is for the WWF World title. Steve Austin has been WWF World champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Steve Austin hits some punches. How generic. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Steve Austin ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Running knee lift from Steve Austin. Stone Cold slams Chris Benoit down and motions to the crowd. Chris Benoit once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Benoit uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Benoit crushes Stone Cold with a running senton. Hooks the leg for a two count. Stone Cold counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Big piledriver on Benoit. Hooks the leg for a two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Steve Austin just KILLS Chris Benoit! Pin, but Benoit is out just before the three count. Benoit backdrops Steve Austin out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Chris Benoit. Chris Benoit connects with a back heel kick on Stone Cold and gets back up quickly. Chris Benoit misses a clothesline. Stone Cold slams Chris Benoit down and motions to the crowd. Steve Austin moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Stone Cold Stunner. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Good bout. In my estimation, it's about ***3/4. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:83 Match Quality:83 Overall:78

WWF Heat 5/27/01: Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman are YOUR guest hosts tonight on Heat. 61 Billy Gunn vs Big Show. Match Background: Big Show is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 21 May 2001. The Match: Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Big Show scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Big Show turns Billy inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Pin, but Billy is out just before the three count. Billy Gunn takes a right hand to the temple from Show. There's a two count on the pin. Billy flips out of a Big Show bodyslam attempt. Big kick from Billy staggers Show but that's about it. Weak bodyslam by Billy. Billy walks into a drop toe hold. Big Show hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Big Show moves in for the kill. Show Stopper! 1....2....3. My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:55 Sexay and Blackman yack it up. 49 Crash Holly vs TAKA Michinoku. Match Background: None. The Match: TAKA Michinoku strikes Crash. STIFF high kick on Crash by TAKA Michinoku. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Crash goes down. There's a two count on the pin. TAKA hits a dropkick on Crash Holly and gets right back up. There's a two count on the pin. Crash pushes out of a TAKA Michinoku hold. Crash hits a short arm drag on TAKA. There's a two count on the pin. Spear by Crash Holly. TAKA Michinoku comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Tiger suplex on Crash. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Crash Holly can barely stand. Michinoku Driver! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:83 Triple H recap part I. He got injured last Monday. He will be out for many months. 71 A.P.A. vs X-Factor III. Match Background: A.P.A. are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Credible and Albert are teaming up as X-Factor III for the first time tonight. The Match: Bradshaw takes a right hand to the temple from Albert. Bradshaw blocks a punch. Bradshaw hits a right hand on Albert. Bradshaw tags out to Faarooq. Faarooq strikes Albert with a hard blow. Faarooq hits a right hand on Albert. Albert blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Albert hits a right hand on Faarooq. Tag between Albert and Justin Credible. Wack kick from Credible. Justin Credible strikes Faarooq with a hard blow. Justin Credible misses a clothesline. Faarooq hits a right hand on Justin Credible. Faarooq tags out to Bradshaw. Bradshaw turns Credible inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Pin, but Credible is out just before the three count. Running clothesline from Bradshaw was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Justin Credible is all alone...Spike Powerbomb!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:59 Another Triple H recap. 83 64

XPW Climax for 2/18/04: Lizzy Borden is out. She is not too happy. She can't even go for two weeks without the fed being up in chaos. To review:Joey Abs lost the belt to Pete Gas, Hardcore Homo Angel lost the King of the Death Match Title against Who, and the Blindsiders have themselves a tag team title shot. She wants to address(as opposed to undress) the World Title. She says Horace Hogan will get his title shot tonight against Pete Gas but since neither is a good lay, Joey Abs will get the XPW Main Event slot at Warrior-Mania. Joey Abs vs the winner of that match. The first match is signed 5 days before the actual PPV. 31 Nothing But Gold get beat up the Blindsiders to turn them face, officially. Scotch Haul shocks Supreme with a tazer for good measure and Devin Nash almost tears his quad spitting on Angel(think about that one for a second). They have to fight in 15 seconds too. 48 Nothing But Gold vs Blindsiders. Match Background: This match is for the XPW Tag Team titles. Nothing But Gold have been XPW Tag Team champions since 14 January 2004. The Match: Leg trip from Hardcore Homo Angel knocks the opponent down. Hardcore Homo Angel hits a right hand on Scotch Haul. There's a two count on the pin. Angel goes for a splash but Haul puts the knees up. Angel hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Scotch Haul hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Tag between Scotch Haul and Devin Nash. Nash slams Hardcore Homo Angel down. Angel is sure in trouble now. Angel blocks a punch. Tag between Hardcore Homo Angel and Supreme. Hardcore Homo Angel scoops up Nash. Supreme bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Big kick from Supreme staggers Nash but that's about it. Hooks the leg for a two count. Supreme hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Tag between Supreme and Hardcore Homo Angel. Sloppy discus punch from Hardcore Homo Angel barely connects on Nash. Pin, but Nash is out just before the three count. Nash backdrops Hardcore Homo Angel out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Devin Nash. Nash tags out to Scotch Haul. Haul slams Hardcore Homo Angel down. Angel is sure in trouble now. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Hardcore Homo Angel floors Haul, then signals for the Circumsizer. Meanwhile, Scotch Haul has something in his hands. Angel comes over...and gets nailed with a set of brass knuckles! The referee wakes up to see the pinfall: 1....2....3! It's over. My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:49 Crowd Reaction:39 Match Quality:59 New Champions. Angel is not too happy. Supreme says that they still have their...oh wait Angel lost the Deathmatch Title on the last Tussels with Tassels. Don't Worry, Supreme still has two belts. This does not cheer Angel up. Smell the drama. Lizzy gives Nothing but Gold their automatic rematch at Warrior-Mania. That's two matches. TWO. Only five days before the PPV. Blindsiders defend their newly won tag team titles against Nothing But Gold. 31 Pete Gas vs Horace Hogan. Match Background: This match is for the XPW World title. Pete Gas has been XPW World champion since 11 February 2004. The Match: Horace Hogan strikes Pete Gas. Powerslam from Horace Hogan on Gas. There's a two count on the pin. Gas powers out of a headlock. Pete Gas punches away at Horace Hogan only to get the tides turned quickly. Punch by Gas, missing Horace COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatHorace didn't sell it. BIG clothesline from Gas. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! BIG clothesline from Gas. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Pete Gas misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Big clothesline from Horace. Horace Hogan DDTs Gas, but it just looked terrible. Horace Hogan gets taken down out of nowhere! Joey Abs just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Pete Gas gets grabbed, and they start brawling. Horace takes some shots at Gas as well. The referee, seeing the chaos, calls for a no contest ruling. We have a three-way stand off in the ring, as Pete Gas, Horace Hogan and Joey Abs look at each other. They all charge forward, and a three-way brawl erupts in the ring! Security and a pile of referees hit the ring to stop the carnage. My Opinion: CRAPTASTIC~! -**. Overall:39 Crowd Reaction:38 Match Quality:41 The only thing to note is there will be a THREE Way for the XPW Title THIS Sunday only ON PPV. Warrior-MANIA. Don't MISS it. One more show before the PPV. Overall:27 0.81 Rating for Climax.

DDW Tussels with Tassels 2/14/04: Mr. Warrior is playing solitaire in his office when Bob Holly comes in. Not Hardcore Holly. Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly. Holly said he wants a job with DDW. Warrior asks what qualifications does he have. Holly can do a dropkick and a jumping dropkick. Warrior refuses because there isn't a spot. However Alex Porteau and Freddie Joe Floyd walks into the office. This band of wrestlers try to attack Mr. Warrior black ninja style but Warrior fights them off. Mr. Warrior gives them a chance for a job. If they can defeated the Midnight Express and Alex Wright in a Six Man Tag Team Match. 61 Villano XIV and Villano XXX vs Masked Men. Match Background: #1 is making his debut at this show. #2 is making his debut at this show. #1 and #2 are teaming up as Masked Men for the first time tonight. The Match: Thrust kick from #2 is sold like death, although it clearly missed. That just hurts a match, really. Masked Man #2 hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Masked Man #2 and Masked Man #1. Masked Men whip Villano 14 into the corner. Masked Man #1 whips Masked Man #2 in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Villano XIV takes a right hand to the temple from #1. Hooks the leg for a two count. Wack kick from #1. Masked Man #1 gets taken down out of nowhere! Villano 14 face jams Masked Man #1. Villano 14 tags out to Villano XXX. Spin kick by Villano XXX to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. SUPER frankensteiner on #1, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Masked Man #1 is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. #1 tags out to Masked Man #2. Masked Man #2 scores with a face jam on Villano XXX. #2 DDTs Villano XXX. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Kick from #2, showing off an amazing arsenal. I sure hope there's more to it than that. Villano 30 pushes out of a Masked Man #2 hold. Flying reverse elbow by Villano XXX. Villano XXX floors Masked Man #2. Masked Man #2 gets locked in the Aki Armbar! Masked Man #2 goes limp! Villano IV quickly comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Villano XIV goes to make the intercept...but is jumped at ringside by Villano V! Villano XXX turns around. Villano IV floors Villano 30. Villano IV signals - La Magistral! The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Vil IV! Villanos are still in the ring doing a beat-down. Out from the crowd comes Villano XVIII! He has a chair! Villanos bail out of the ring as Villano 18 slides in to the squared circle, unwilling to taste the steel. Wait! As soon as Villano XVIII turns around, they slide back in and blindside him! They take the chair...and beat the heck out of Villano 18 with it! He has been laid out as well by the team of Villanos! My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. 38 Crowd Reaction:20 Match Quality:57 (the REAL Villanos show up to dispute the phonies. It's an insant feud in the making. Maybe I should make all their short names, Villano. That's the ticket. The Masked Men are two men that have masks on.) Mr. Warrior calls Nikita Koloff into his office. Nikita is not happy he didn't get to squash any stupid Americans last week and offers to put the Big Red and Yellow Title on the line. Warrior says that Koloff can defend against Flair. Does Koloff mean who he thinks it means? Yes he does. 48 1996 WWF Hell vs Bobby Eaton, Stan Lane, and Alex Wright. Match Background: Holly is making his debut at this show. Floyd is making his debut at this show. He is a regular with IWAMS. The Match: Floyd drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Sweet Stan. Sweet Stan tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Tag to Alex Porteau. Porteau suplexes Sweet Stan to the canvas and floats over. Porteau suplexes Stan Lane badly. Covers for a quick two count. Porteau tags out to Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly. Alex Porteau scoops up Sweet Stan. Holly bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Sweet Stan. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Sweet Stan reverses a Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly hammerlock. Stan Lane strikes Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly with a hard blow. Tag to Alex Wright. Alex Wright snap suplexes Holly HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Wright is now a bonifide HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Alex Wright nearly ends the career of Holly with a screwed up german suplex. GET AWAY FROM THE WRESTLING BUSINESS! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly walks into a chop to the pecs. Ouchy. Wright tags out to Bobby Eaton. Holly receives a spinning neckbreaker from Eaton. Bobby Eaton arm drags Holly over and locks on an armbar. Holly blocks a punch. Holly tags out to Freddie Joe Floyd. Vertical suplex by Freddie Joe Floyd. Tag to Stan Lane. Uninspired brawling from Stan Lane. Freddie Joe Floyd is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Stan Lane can barely stand. Swinging Neckbreaker!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:53 Crowd Reaction:46 Match Quality:60 Train wreck that match was. Alex Wright can't even do what was once his finisher right anyone. The 1996 WWF Superstars jobbers now get contracts. Hardcore Homo Angel vs What. Match Background: This will be a falls count anywhere bout. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title. Hardcore Homo Angel has been XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion since 07 January 2004. The Match: Angel hits a snap suplex onto a chair on What. There's a two count on the pin. Sloppy short range spear from Hardcore Homo Angel. There's a two count on the pin. What pushes out of a Hardcore Homo Angel hold. What hits a right hand on Hardcore Homo Angel. They brawl to the outside and into the crowd. What elevates and drops Hardcore Homo Angel onto the guard rail and plays to the crowd. Covers for a quick two count. What punches Angel on the outside. They wind up back in the squared circle. What rams Angel into a table. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Hardcore Homo Angel pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Sloppy short range spear from Hardcore Homo Angel. There's a two count on the pin. What fights out of a grapple. What scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Supreme comes running down the aisle with a chair! Angel and What continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Supreme slides in and prepares to swing the chair...but What moves! Supreme accidentally blasts Angel with a chair to the head! What throws Supreme out of the ring! What floors Hardcore Homo Angel...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Big Shot! 1....2....3. My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:52 Crowd Reaction:49 Match Quality:56 What is the NEW King of the Death Match Champion thanks to a miscue from Supreme. Supreme will defend his 10 Minute Time Limit Title against Who. Next. Supreme vs Who. Match Background: This match is for the 10 Minute Time Limit title. Supreme is the reigning XPW Television champion, and has been since 18 January 2004. Supreme has been 10 Minute Time Limit champion since 10 January 2004. The Match: Supreme strikes away at Who, not doing much damage at all. Supreme strikes Who with a hard blow. There's a two count on the pin. Who reverses a waistlock. Weak slam from Who sets Supreme for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Supreme has no worries. Some pretty weak shots by Who. Punch by Who, missing Supreme COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatSupreme didn't sell it. Supreme avoids a Who avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Supreme hits a piledriver on Who. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Supreme floors Who...and climbs the turnbuckles. Mecca Toad Splash!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:45 Crowd Reaction:49 Match Quality:39 Who didn't win the belt like What did. Maybe Who and What will be in line for an XPW Tag Team Title Shot, providing that Supreme and Angel get past the Blindsiders on Climax. Here comes Flair. David Flair that is. He struts out for his Big Red and Yellow Title Shot. 50 David Flair vs Nikita Koloff. Match Background: D.Flair is making his debut at this show. He is a regular with NWAW. This match is for the Big Red and Yellow title. Nikita Koloff has been Big Red and Yellow champion since 31 January 2004. The Match: Nikita Koloff DDTs D.Flair in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that David Flair's head didn't touch the mat at all. Flapjack from Koloff on D.Flair. Flapjack from Koloff on D.Flair. Pin, but D.Flair is out just before the three count. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Koloff on D.Flair. Hooks the leg for a two count. David Flair reverses a hip toss. Koloff gets splashed in the corner. Big clothesline from D.Flair. Koloff counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Powerslam from Nikita Koloff on D.Flair. Nikita Koloff moves in for the kill. Russian Sickle!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:57 Crowd Reaction:63 Match Quality:44 Koloff remains the champion as I just realize I have a PPV next Sunday. The PPV will be slapped together with chewing gum this week on Climax and next week at Tussels with Tassels. Overall:51 0.36 Rating for Tussels with Tassels.

WWF Smackdown 5/24/01: Vince says that Triple H tore his quadricep last monday and he is making Benoit and Jericho put the tag belts on the line a four man TLC Match against E and C, The Dudleys, and The Hardy Boyz. 100 Eddie Guerrero vs X-Pac. Match Background: None. The Match: X-Pac crushes Eddie with a running senton. Eddie walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Springboard dropkick from X-Pac. Nicely done. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! X-Pac hits a rolling kick on Eddie. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Covers for a quick two count. Eddie counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Flying elbow from Eddie Guerrero connects. VICIOUS lightning kick by Eddie on X-Pac. Eddie drops an elbow...but X-Pac moves out of the way. X-Pac crushes Eddie with a running senton. X-Pac moves in for the kill. X-Factor!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:60 Match Quality:82 Tajiri makes his debut and he is the newest edition to William Regal's commisioner office. 75 Kurt Angle asks Molly where Shane is. Spike Dudley tells Kurt to leave his girlfriend alone. Kurt wonders if this is Saved by the Bell and we have a match. 72 Spike Dudley vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: Spike walks into a killer lariat, as opposed to a friendly lariat. Emerald Fusion by Kurt Angle on Spike! Delayed BRAINBUSTAH~! Angle really drove that one down big time. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Spike Dudley takes a butterfly suplex from Angle. Covers for a quick two count. Spike kicks Kurt Angle in the gut to reverse the momentum. Angle gets splashed in the corner. Powerslam from Spike Dudley on Angle. Angle counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Massive backbreaker on Spike. Kurt Angle has Spike Dudley down on the canvas. Here it comes...Ankle Lock! Spike Dudley taps! My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:71 Dean Malenko vs Raven. Match Background: None. The Match: Standing leg lariat by Dean Malenko on Raven. Hard back suplex on Raven. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. There's a two count on the pin. Dean Malenko gets taken down out of nowhere! Fallaway slam by Raven puts down Dean Malenko. There's a two count on the pin. Spinebuster by Raven. There's a two count on the pin. Malenko backdrops Raven out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Dean Malenko. Malenko crushes Raven with a running senton. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Raven reverses a waistlock. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Malenko! Cover, but there's no one to count for Raven! Full nelson slam on Malenko. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Malenko kicks Raven in the gut to reverse the momentum. Perry Saturn comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Raven turns around. Perry Saturn spins Raven around. Perry Saturn hits the Death Valley Driver! Saturn leaves the ring, the damage done! The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Dean Malenko pins Raven. Perry Saturn remains in the ring. Raven pushes the referee away. Raven spins Saturn around. Raven hits the Evenflow DDT! My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:50 Match Quality:76 Austin blames Triple H for losing the belts and says that Triple H should be glad that he got injured. And his name is Stone Cold Steve Austin and he is the WWF Champion. 92 Right To Censor vs Grand Masta Sexay, Steve Blackman, and Trish Stratus. Match Background: None. The Match: Bull Buchanan hits a right hand on Steve Blackman and follows it up with a couple more. Buchanan slams Steve Blackman down. Blackman is sure in trouble now. Tag to Ivory. Ivory hits a BIG clothesline for two! BIG clothesline from Ivory. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Goodfather. Ivory \ Godfather whip Blackman into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Blackman takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Steve Blackman pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Goodfather charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Tag to Grand Masta Sexay. Sexay uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Tiger suplex on Godfather. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Sexay hits a dropkick on Goodfather and gets right back up. Tag between Grand Masta Sexay and Trish Stratus. Godfather receives some punishment by Trish Stratus but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Godfather gets splashed in the corner. Godfather reverses a Trish Stratus hammerlock. Godfather tags out to Bull Buchanan. Buchanan slams Trish Stratus down. Trish is sure in trouble now. Tag to Steve Blackman. Blackman hits a right hand. Spinebuster by Steve Blackman. Steve Blackman floors Bull Buchanan. Here it comes...Guillotine Choke! Bull Buchanan taps! My Opinion: Hmm. Only gets * from me. Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:65 Rhyno vs Kane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Kane has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 20 May 2001. The Match: Rhyno takes a headbutt from Kane. Rhyno gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Rhyno is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Covers for a quick two count. Kane slams Rhyno down and motions to the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Rhyno powers out of a Kane headlock. Rhyno hits some punches. How generic. Hooks the leg for a two count. Nice piledriver on Kane. Kane reverses a Rhyno hammerlock. Powerbomb on Rhyno. Kane moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Choke Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:86 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:89 Dudley Boyz vs Hardy Boyz vs Edge and Christian vs Canadian Violence. Match Background: This will be a TLC bout. Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Canadian Violence have been WWF Tag Team champions since 21 May 2001. The Match: Matt is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Face slam on the table by Jeff. Lightning kick by Jeff on Christian. Dropkick from the middle of the ladder by Benoit. Matt uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Matt crushes Jericho with a huge legdrop. Edge hits Bubba with a plastic dinosaur! Fallaway slam by Edge puts down Bubba Ray Dudley. Dudley Boyz whip Jeff into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Bubba rams Matt into a table. Full nelson slam on Matt. D-Von takes a NICE hurrancarana from Christian. Diamond Dust from Christian and Bubba is out! Jericho hits a face jam on Christian onto the ladder! Benoit throws a ladder onto Jeff Hardy. Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho climb the ladder and grab the prize for the win. My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:88 Crowd Reaction:87 Match Quality:90 Overall:75

WWF Raw 5/21/01: Austin is out. Jericho comes out. Some back and forth jabber happens. The gist is Two Man Powertrip vs Canadian Violence tonight for the Tag Team Titles. 92 Big Show vs Rhyno. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Rhyno has been WWF Hardcore champion since 19 April 2001. The Match: Big clothesline from Show. Big Show scoop slams Rhyno onto and through a table. Sloppy discus punch from Big Show barely connects on Rhyno. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Big kick from Show staggers Rhyno but that's about it. Covers for a quick two count. Show charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Flying shoulder tackle by Rhyno sends Show CRASHING to the mat. Big piledriver on Show. Show kicks Rhyno in the gut to reverse the momentum. Big Show DDTs Rhyno, but it just looked terrible. Rhyno can barely stand. Show Stopper! 1....2....3. My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:64 Match Quality:74 Saturn and Malenko vs A.P.A.. Match Background: A.P.A. are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Perry Saturn with a spinning neckbreaker on Faarooq. Spear by Perry Saturn. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Dean Malenko. Saturn and Malenko whip Faarooq into the corner. Dean Malenko whips Perry Saturn in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Spin kick by Dean Malenko to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Covers for a quick two count. Dean Malenko strikes Faarooq. Malenko charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Faarooq DDTs Dean Malenko. Faarooq tags out to Bradshaw. Weak bodyslam on Malenko by Bradshaw sets up a legdrop. Bradshaw hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Bradshaw walks into a drop toe hold. Tag between Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn. Perry Saturn hits a bulldog off the ropes. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Bradshaw! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Saturn scoops and slams Bradshaw. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Bradshaw comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Bradshaw hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. A.P.A. have Perry Saturn to themselves. Spike Powerbomb! 1....2....3! It's over. My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:56 Matt Hardy vs X-Pac. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Matt Hardy has been WWF European champion since 26 April 2001. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and X-Pac goes down. Implant DDT by Matt Hardy! I will always and forever mark out for that move. There's a two count on the pin. X-Pac kicks Matt Hardy in the gut to reverse the momentum. Matt takes a flying neckbreaker from X-Pac. X-Pac kicks the leg, knocks Matt down, and goes to work on it. Flying elbow from X-Pac connects. Matt reverses a X-Pac hammerlock. Super kick by Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy has X-Pac down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Yodel Legdrop!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Quality:76 Kurt Angle celebrates reclaiming his gold metals against Chris Benoit. Shane McMahon comes out and talks up WCW. Kurt Angle with the Angle Slam off the Platform onto Shane. 89 Dudley Boyz vs Holly Cousins. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Bubba Ray Dudley connects with rights and lefts and Hardcore Holly is down! BAAACK Body drop by Hardcore gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Hardcore pushes out of a Bubba Ray Dudley hold. Hardcore Holly hits a right hand on Bubba Ray Dudley and follows it up with a couple more. Hardcore Holly DDTs Bubba, but it just looked terrible. Tag to Crash Holly. Running knee lift from Crash Holly. Bubba counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Tag to D-Von Dudley. Dudley Boyz whip Crash into the corner. Bubba Ray Dudley whips D-Von Dudley in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Bodyslam by D-Von. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big piledriver on Crash. Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Bubba Ray Dudley just KILLS Crash Holly! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Crash kicks Bubba Ray Dudley in the gut to reverse the momentum. Crash tags out to Hardcore Holly. Weak bodyslam on Bubba by Hardcore sets up a legdrop. Molly Holly has climbed up onto the apron! Hardcore turns...and falls for the distraction! Bubba Ray Dudley runs at Hardcore from behind...but misses! Bubba Ray Dudley collides with Molly Holly! Hardcore Holly moves in for the kill. Falcon Arrow! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:79 The Dudleys vow to put Molly Holly through a table. 77 Eddie Guerrero and Jeff Hardy vs Edge and Christian. Match Background: Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Spinning back kick from Eddie Guerrero. Eddie hits a dropkick on Christian and gets right back up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Jeff Hardy. Eddie \ Jeff whip Christian into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Covers for a quick two count. Second rope flying axe handle, Christian goes down. One day, Jeff might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Jeff Hardy misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Flying reverse elbow by Christian. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Christian and Edge. Full nelson slam on Jeff. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Jeff gets caught with a short powerbomb from Edge. Edge charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Edge takes a flying neckbreaker from Jeff Hardy. Tag to Eddie Guerrero. Eddie Guerrero connects with a back heel kick on Edge and gets back up quickly. Tag between Edge and Christian. Hard back suplex on Christian. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Eddie Guerrero has Christian down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Frog Splash!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: Absolutely solid match. A few minor things brought it down, so I'm tacking on a **** rating. Overall:88 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:93 Kane vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Kane has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 20 May 2001. The Match: Kane hits a right hand. Kane hits some punches. How generic. Kurt Angle charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. BAAACK Body drop by Angle gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Angle kicks Kane in the gut to reverse the momentum. Hard back suplex on Kane. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Kane walks into a stiff sit-out jaw breaker. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kane is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Kane hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Spear! Angle is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Angle backdrops Kane out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Angle. Kane reverses a Kurt Angle hammerlock. BAAACK Body drop by Angle gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Shane McMahon has climbed up onto the apron! Angle turns...and falls for the distraction! Kane attacks Angle from behind! Kane moves in for the kill. Choke Slam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: I'll give this a ***1\4 rating. If I left it up to you, you'd probably think it was the greatest match ever! Keep trying... Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:84 Canadian Violence vs Two Man Powertrip. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Steve Austin is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 31 March 2001. Two Man Powertrip have been WWF Tag Team champions since 29 April 2001. The Match: Jericho hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Flying shoulder tackle by Jericho sends Stone Cold CRASHING to the mat. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Chris Benoit. Canadian Violence whip Stone Cold into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Benoit uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Stone Cold counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Massive backbreaker on Benoit and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Steve Austin and Triple H. Spear by Triple H. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! HHH slams Chris Benoit down and motions to the crowd. Benoit pushes out of a Triple H hold. Flying elbow from Chris Benoit connects. Benoit tags out to Chris Jericho. Triple H just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Jericho. HHH tags out to Steve Austin. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Jericho. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Steve Austin gets knocked to the ground by Jericho. Steve Austin gets locked in the Walls Of Jericho! Submission victory! My Opinion: I'd love to see a rematch and see if they can top this. **** Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:92 Overall:80

WWF Judgement Day 2001: Val Venis vs Raven. Match Background: None. The Match: Massive backbreaker on Val and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Spear! Val is down! Spear! Val is down! Pin, but Val is out just before the three count. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Val Venis by Raven. Remember when that was a legit finish? Covers for a quick two count. Raven drops an elbow...but Val Venis moves out of the way. Val Venis with a spinning neckbreaker on Raven. Spinebuster by Val Venis. Raven ducks a wild right hand. Val walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Raven moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Evenflow DDT. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:57 Match Quality:83 Rikishi vs William Regal. Match Background: None. The Match: Double arm suplex by William Regal connects as Rikishi hits hard. Rikishi takes a back suplex. William Regal gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Regal. There's a two count on the pin. William Regal snap suplexes Rikishi HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Regal is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! There's a two count on the pin. Rikishi flips out of a William Regal bodyslam attempt. Rikishi hits a right hand on William Regal and follows it up with a couple more. Hooks the leg for a two count. Big clothesline from Rikishi. William Regal pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Belly to belly off the top rope! Rikishi can barely stand. Union Jack!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: Well, hello there *1/4 rating, how are you? Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:65 Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: This will be a ladder bout. The Match: Benoit gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Angle! Kurt Angle dives off the middle of the ladder with a clothesline that connects. Stun Gun from Kurt Angle! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. A Gut buster connects on Benoit and hits hard. Benoit blocks a kick from Kurt Angle. Angle gets hip-tossed onto the ladder! Flying cross body off the top rope! Kurt Angle avoids a Chris Benoit avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Benoit gets rocked with a brutal elbow to the jaw by Angle. A few more of those and Benoit will go down worse than Bart Gunn at 'Mania 15. Massive lariat by Angle with some POWER behind it. Chris Benoit pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Chris Benoit connects with a back heel kick on Angle and gets back up quickly. Angle flips out of a Chris Benoit bodyslam attempt. Benoit gets caught with a short powerbomb from Angle. Kurt Angle floors Chris Benoit. Ankle Lock!!! Chris Benoit goes limp! Kurt Angle climbs the ladder and grabs the prize for the win. My Opinion: As close to a ***** match as possible...but unfortunately, it was missing something, so I can only give it ****3/4. Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:100 Test vs Rhyno vs Big Show. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Rhyno has been WWF Hardcore champion since 19 April 2001. The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Show who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Test chair shots Rhyno. Show counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Show hits a piledriver on Test. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Powerslam from Big Show on Rhyno. Covers for a quick two count. Test scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Show blocks a punch. Big Show uses a big bag of popcorn to floor Test. I wonder if butter adds impact. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Show! Big Show is in trouble. GORE!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: *1\2 rating. Hey, you wanted to make it harder on yourself, right? Overall:76 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:67 Chyna vs Lita. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Womens title. Chyna has been WWF Womens champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Uninspired brawling from Chyna. Lita hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Chyna strikes away at Lita, not doing much damage at all. There's a two count on the pin. Weak bodyslam on Lita by Chyna sets up a legdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Lita kicks Chyna in the gut to reverse the momentum. HARD Chop by Lita on Chyna. There's a two count on the pin. Back heel kick from Lita on Chyna. Chyna counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Chyna turns Lita inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Chyna moves in for the kill. Rear Naked Drop!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Chyna offers a handshake to Lita...and she accepts it! My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:49 Triple H vs Kane. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Triple H has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 16 April 2001. The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Kane ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Flying shoulder tackle by Kane sends HHH CRASHING to the mat. Hooks the leg for a two count. HHH reverses a Kane hammerlock. Kane charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Triple H hits some punches. How generic. Flying shoulder tackle by HHH sends Kane CRASHING to the mat. Kane powers out of a Triple H headlock. Big piledriver on HHH. Steve Austin comes running down the aisle with a chair! HHH goes to irish whip Kane into the ropes. Stone Cold jumps onto the apron with the chair...but Kane reverses! Collision between Stone Cold, HHH, and the chair! Triple H staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:83 Canadian Violence vs Edge and Christian. Match Background: Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Second rope flying axe handle, Jericho goes down. One day, Christian might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Flying cross body off the top rope! There's a two count on the pin. Christian tags out to Edge. Edge scoops up Jericho. Christian bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Fallaway slam by Edge puts down Chris Jericho. There's a two count on the pin. Edge hits a right hand. Jericho flips out of a Edge bodyslam attempt. Power drive elbow by Chris Jericho. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Jericho tags out to Chris Benoit. Second rope flying axe handle, Edge goes down. One day, Benoit might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Lightning kick by Benoit on Edge. Chris Benoit misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Edge tags out to Christian. Flying reverse elbow by Christian. Tiger suplex on Benoit. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Benoit walks into a high dropkick from Christian, almost losing several teeth in the process. Benoit powers out of a headlock. VICIOUS lightning kick by Benoit on Christian. Christian gets knocked to the ground by Benoit. Crippler Crossface!!! Christian taps out! My Opinion: The psychology was sound, the work was crisp, but a few awkward moments drag it down to about ****1\2. Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:83 Match Quality:97 Steve Austin vs Undertaker. Match Background: This will be a falls count anywhere bout. This match is for the WWF World title. Steve Austin has been WWF World champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Undertaker uses a big bag of popcorn to floor Stone Cold. I wonder if butter adds impact. Undertaker hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Hooks the leg for a two count. Steve Austin avoids a Undertaker avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Undertaker is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Steve Austin with a spinning neckbreaker on Undertaker. There's a two count on the pin. Chair shot connects! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. BIG clothesline on Undertaker. They brawl to the outside and into the crowd. Steve Austin uses a headbutt on the outside. There's a two count on the pin. Elbow from Stone Cold connects as they brawl on the outside. They wind up back in the squared circle. Undertaker backdrops Steve Austin out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Undertaker. Undertaker DDTs Stone Cold, but it just looked terrible. There's a two count on the pin. Side suplex from Undertaker. Pin, but Stone Cold is out just before the three count. Undertaker hits a right hand on Steve Austin. Undertaker hits a double axehandle off the table onto Stone Cold. Steve Austin comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. BAAACK Body drop by Undertaker gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Spear! Undertaker is down! Triple H comes running down the aisle with a chair! Stone Cold and Undertaker continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Triple H slides in and blasts Undertaker with a chair to the head! HHH climbs out of the ring, the damage done! Undertaker is in trouble. Here it comes - Stone Cold Stunner. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:71 Overall:76

WWF Smackdown 5/17/01: Undertaker says there was no accident last Monday. Someone called the police. The Brothers of Destruction will crack some skulls tonight. 65[/} Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, and Eddie Guerrero vs Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn, and Jerry Lynn. Match Background: Jerry Lynn is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 29 April 2001. Matt Hardy is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 26 April 2001. The Match: Standing leg lariat by Eddie Guerrero on Malenko. Spin kick by Eddie Guerrero to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Eddie tags out to Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy hits a rolling kick on Malenko. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Malenko takes a NICE hurrancarana from Matt Hardy. Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Jeff Hardy. Hardy Boyz whip Malenko into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Jeff uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Malenko powers out of a headlock. Spin kick by Dean Malenko to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Tag to Perry Saturn. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Jeff Hardy by Saturn. Remember when that was a legit finish? DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Perry Saturn just KILLS Jeff Hardy! Pin, but Jeff is out just before the three count. Bodyslam by Saturn. Tag between Perry Saturn and Jerry Lynn. Lynn just WAFFLES Jeff with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Jeff Hardy is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Jeff tags out to Eddie Guerrero. Lynn takes a flying neckbreaker from Eddie Guerrero. Tag between Jerry Lynn and Dean Malenko. Eddie walks into a high dropkick from Dean Malenko, almost losing several teeth in the process. Dean Malenko misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Eddie Guerrero floors Dean Malenko...and climbs the turnbuckles. Frog Splash!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: Almost got a **** match, but was lacking in certain areas, so i'm knocking off a quarter of a star. Yes, there is such a thing as a quarter star. ***3/4. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:90 Bradshaw vs Big Show. Match Background: None. The Match: Big Show strikes Bradshaw with a hard blow. Covers for a quick two count. Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. There's a two count on the pin. Big Show gets taken down out of nowhere! Bradshaw hits a right hand on Big Show. Big clothesline from Bradshaw. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Show pushes out of a Bradshaw hold. Weak bodyslam by Show. Covers for a quick two count. Bradshaw counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Bradshaw scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Test comes running down the aisle with a chair! Bradshaw goes to irish whip Big Show into the ropes. Test hits Show with a chair to the back! Bradshaw moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Clothesline From Hell. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:66 Rikishi and Chris Benoit vs William Regal and Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: Stun Gun from Kurt Angle! I still can't believe that was Austin's finisher at one point. Rikishi walks into a killer lariat, as opposed to a friendly lariat. Covers for a quick two count. Angle tags out to William Regal. Regal \ Angle whip Rikishi into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Rikishi takes a butterfly suplex from Regal. Hooks the leg for a two count. William Regal snap suplexes Rikishi. Rikishi avoids a William Regal avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Side suplex from Rikishi. Tag between Rikishi and Chris Benoit. Hard back suplex on Regal. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. GORGEOUS Spinning bulldog in the corner and Regal is down. Regal pushes out of a Chris Benoit hold. Regal tags out to Kurt Angle. Benoit walks into a stiff sit-out jaw breaker. Benoit gets hit with a running Splash Mountain out of the corner! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Benoit gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Angle! Benoit blocks a punch. Superkick by Chris Benoit practically knocks out all of Kurt Angle's teeth! Chris Benoit has Kurt Angle down on the canvas. Crippler Crossface!!! Kurt Angle taps out! My Opinion: Ohh, looky. A **3/4 match! Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:81 Chyna vs Ivory and Molly Holly. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. Chyna is the reigning WWF Womens champion, and has been since 31 March 2001. The Match: Ivory receives some punishment by Chyna but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Chyna with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Molly. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Powerslam from Chyna on Molly. There's a two count on the pin. Ivory takes a right hand to the temple from Chyna. Ivory flips out of a Chyna bodyslam attempt. Ivory \ Molly whip Chyna into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Molly Holly hits a rolling kick on Chyna. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Ivory hits a bulldog off the ropes. Molly \ Ivory whip Chyna into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy discus punch from Ivory barely connects on Chyna. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Chyna hits Ivory. Hard back suplex on Chyna. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Molly Holly scoops up Chyna. Ivory bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Ivory hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Chyna is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Chyna once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Molly walks into a drop toe hold. Chyna scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Molly Holly can barely stand. Pedigree! 1....2....3. My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:65 Match Quality:60 Chris Jericho vs Edge. Match Background: None. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Jericho goes down. Edge connects with rights and lefts and Chris Jericho is down! A Gut buster connects on Jericho and hits hard. BIG clothesline on Jericho. Edge misses a clothesline. Chris Jericho with a spinning neckbreaker on Edge. Edge takes a NICE hurrancarana from Chris Jericho. Hooks the leg for a two count. Edge blocks a kick from Chris Jericho. Full nelson slam on Jericho. There's a two count on the pin. Spear! Jericho is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Jericho pushes out of a Edge hold. Jericho slams Edge. Edge counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Flying shoulder tackle by Edge sends Jericho CRASHING to the mat. Christian comes running down the aisle with a chair! Edge whips Chris Jericho into the ropes. Christian jumps onto the apron with the chair! Collision between Christian, Jericho, and the chair! Chris Jericho staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: Almost got a **** match, but was lacking in certain areas, so i'm knocking off a quarter of a star. Yes, there is such a thing as a quarter star. ***3/4. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:87 Match Quality:88 Spike Dudley vs Hardcore Holly. Match Background: None. The Match: Hardcore Holly DDTs Spike, but it just looked terrible. Hardcore Holly turns Spike inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Hardcore Holly scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Hardcore Holly strikes Spike Dudley with a hard blow. There's a two count on the pin. Spike Dudley once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Hardcore gets splashed in the corner. Spike Dudley DDTs Hardcore, but it just looked terrible. Hardcore Holly is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Hardcore Holly hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Spike Dudley can barely stand. Here it comes - Falcon Arrow. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:45 Crowd Reaction:44 Match Quality:58 Undertaker vs Triple H. Match Background: Triple H is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 16 April 2001. The Match: Undertaker strikes Triple H. Undertaker hits a right hand on Triple H and follows it up with a couple more. Running clothesline from Undertaker was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Undertaker slams Triple H down. HHH is sure in trouble now. HHH flips out of a Undertaker bodyslam attempt. Bodyslam by HHH. Spear by Triple H. Hooks the leg for a two count. Undertaker pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Undertaker DDTs HHH, but it just looked terrible. Covers for a quick two count. Undertaker scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Pin, but HHH is out just before the three count. Undertaker walks into a drop toe hold. Triple H hits some punches. How generic. Undertaker flips out of a Triple H bodyslam attempt. Triple H takes a right hand to the temple from Undertaker. Steve Austin just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Undertaker gets grabbed, and they start brawling. HHH takes some shots at Undertaker as well. The referee, seeing the chaos, calls for a no contest ruling. HHH and Stone Cold put the boots to Undertaker, stomping away on him. My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:70 Overall:59